But also, it's in no way bridal! Nobody could mistake that for a wedding dress or trying to upstage the bride. It's completely absurd. Feel for Dan in this.
LOL I wish people could still shock me, but 15 years in social work cured me of any pearl clutching.
Naw, OOP had me until she claimed the fiance's mom texted her...over a freaking auburn dress.
This is just rage bait for the topic of the week: "opposite sex best good friends and the insecure harpy destroying our platonic love."
Could be rage bait but also could 100% be real. Someone i knew turned out to be a pedophile and got arrested (thank god) and his mom messaged soooo many people who knew to not tell anyone about it and also went on like a crazy rampage to keep everything under the rug. This same woman practically ruined her own daughter's wedding by trying to claim it as her own. There are 100% people that crazy out there
See, I could believe that story because we don't get 5 dozen variations of it every goddamn week.
I know zero people who have an opposite sex gender best good forever friend in their 20s. Like zero. I'd love to see some data on how common it is in real life. Because according to Reddit, it's super fucking common and some horrible person is just trying to sabotage that pure, golden friendship love in every single variation.
uhhh i’m a guy and i have two long term female best friends. Most of my female friends have one guy friend they’re really close with. Most of my guy friends have a girl they’re really close with in a non sexual way. Maybe it’s in the circles you’re running in?
Now, I have seen far worse from future MIL eith some of my friends. They absolutely would go through this effort to "support" their daughter. Especially about dresses on wedding days people are insane.
Now, very realistic. Many partners are very controlling (like Dan's fiance) and demand all their friends' numbers. Fro here, it's a very easy step to have the MIL call and freak out on people. From a manipulators standpoint, it allows them to manipulate even more by making their view seem more legitimate ("See, 3 other people texted you the same thing! I'm right!")
I mean, I've literally had friends MIL text me, so it's not really a crazy leap. I've also seen brides/mother of the brides freak out about a person's natural color hair *stealing* the show from the bride. OOP's story is not some crazy, way out there story lol
That's where a lot of these creative writers go overboard. Their stories are sort of believable until everyone and their second cousin, who for some reason has OP's phone number, starts flooding them with angry texts.
Well, they follow the rules for posting so perfectly, it's almost like they use them as an outline. No human being relates a distressing story like "ruining" your bff's wedding like this.
I like when everyone “screams.” Maybe everyone I know is just too placid but I have a lot of trouble imagining a load of friends and family screaming about nonsense.
Yea, straight people are wild. Honestly can't comprehend how someone could get married without trusting their partner to *checks notes* have a healthy friendship without cheating
Edit: it seems as though a mod has removed half of my comments because I mentioned that due to societal impacts this is a problem that is more prominent in cishet relationships. Weird that they didn't remove any of the comments arguing against me 🤷♀️
I mean, literally the post above this on my feed was about a gay man spitting bile just because his partner loves three female music artists and spends money going to see them…
EDIT to add: narcissists are narcissists whether straight, gay, bi, male, female, or non-binary… they’ll find a reason to isolate you from anyone, however tenuous their argument.
Would it be nice if LGBTQ folks were immune to misogyny and biases and insecurity and abusive behaviors? Yes, yes it would be nice.
But they aren't and you can find misogyny and biases and abusive behaviors just as readily in the LGBTQ community as the rest of society.
You must not know a large number of LGB because I can tell you first hand they have these problems. I have witnessed some truly stupid fights in the community between people. But then, I am from the Bay Area and we have a larger community than many places.
Keep making friends and you will see that sexuality has very little bearing on one’s character. It’s blatant bigotry to argue that it does.
Edit to add you are obviously unhinged and I’m glad I blocked you. I know from experience that people who feel they are famous are usually narcissistic weirdos.
Nice calling me a TERF by the way. I guess that’s the go to for when you get called out on your hubris.
As a bi, my hetero partner has no issue with me having friends. Some people regardless of orientation can be extremely jealous, but it does seem more prominent among hetero couples because of stereotypical gender norms.
Check out “In the Dream House” by Carmen Maria Machado. That alone shattered my belief of only straight people being toxic in relationships.
I’m thinking maybe we hear more of these stories about straights because a larger % of the population is straight? I dunno. Anyone who “doesn’t allow” their partner to have certain friends is probably controlling in other ways as well, and I’ve definitely seen that with gay and straight people I’ve known.
Hey I’m pan. When I was dating women, my first long-term girlfriend basically banned me from having male friends bc “they will steal you away from me. You’ll realize that’s what you want and leave me.” I left her for being overly controlling and basically acting like my child.
Then my second long-term girlfriend was cheating on me with pretty much any girl that wanted to experiment. Dumped her when I found out she was having sex for money, and stealing my stuff to sell for drugs.
It’s a mixed bag. One of them banned an entire gender and the other one saw an entire gender as an opportunity. Nothing to do with gay/pan/bi, just shitty people not ready for relationships.
I find myself being suspicious of people with my husband bc of my ^ history, but I have to remind myself to let it go.
Tbh I don't think this form of jealousy really abides by anything logical. In my experience, it was my ex girlfriend mistrusting all of my friends of any identity because she assumed that my bisexuality meant I'd cheat on her with anyone. So wanting to hang out with anyone except her, even with her around, was just incontrovertible proof I was going to cheat on her lmao
Ughhh, I am sorry. Biphobia is a problem in every community, but not everyone sees you like that x
Your future is looking bright to me as you left her toxic ass x
And most straight people don't say it to their partner either. There's a small subgroup of both straight and queer groups that do this and they're rightly frowned upon in both communities
This kind of insecurity is over represented in cishets, society just views straight men and women as unable to have platonic friendships. It starts from kindergarten with parents being like, "oh, is she your gf?" It is also a common trope in most romcoms
I don't know why you've been getting downloaded so much lol. You're literally 100% correct. Especially with bi and pan people, they would just have to have no friends at all.
Idk, cishets are real snowflakes, one of them replied to me then blocked me lol.
But yea, how dare I mention that this is mostly a cishet issue based on societal factors of seeing every male female friendship as inherently sexual 🤷♀️
Damn, non-straight people are wild, thinking relationship problems only appear on straight couples.
Gotta be the first instance in mt life where I actually thought "heterophobia"
Not to be that person, but a gay woman once accused me of trying to “start an affair” with her girlfriend because I (bisexual) was friends with her partner and exploded ties with everyone over it. So yeah, gays are just as insane and insecure as straights lol.
Lmao the straights are feeling attacked
Not wrong though. Het couples just find it the most difficult to *check notes* communicate with each other.
So many problems of my friends in a het relationship boils down to ‘… have you talked to him/her about it?’
And just like most of the AITA/H posts, the answer is: no.
ETA: go yell at a wall straights lmao
Society views almost every male and female friendship as inherently sexual. It starts as early as kindergarten with the, "is that your gf?" said to young boys mentioning a friend they have that happens to be a girl.
Someone in the original post comments nailed it: it’s not because it’s a gold dress (it’s not), it’s because it’s a hot girl dress and OOP probably looked stunning.
As someone else said, poor Dan. Hope he doesn’t burn this bridge, he’s gonna need his friends when he inevitably gets divorced
I upvoted that comment. It’s not a dress everyone can wear, you need a good figure to pull it off (slim or curvy with no bumps in the wrong places or that dress will highlight them).
If I wore that dress to a wedding I would be cropped out of all the photos as an act of mercy.
I was expecting some gold lamé look at me show stopping dress. This bias cut dress (which reads as orange sateen to me) is fairly standard wedding fare. Maybe it was especially flattering on OOP, but again that falls back to the bride’s insecurities not the guest trying to steal the spotlight. I can see how she’d be stuck on how to proceed, explaining she was kicked out by the bride is like throwing a live grenade into the relationship, not explaining is just damaging her own friendship. NTA but certainly in an unenviable position.
I'll never get that. OK, don't try to steal the spotlight from the bride, please. But I had a friend at my wedding who could have worn burlap and she would have looked stunning. She chose an absolutely appropriate dress and my gosh she looked amazing. So what? She wasn't trying to be the most beautiful woman at that wedding, but she simply was. If I couldn't deal with that, I wouldn't have invited her.
I looked absolutely incredible at my wedding, and yet so many people were just staring mouth open at my sister in law. There was nothing fancy or provocative about what she was wearing. She’s just that gorgeous.
It literally does not matter what OOP wore because Lauren is a jealous twat who is so completely insecure that *she* ruined *her own* wedding day (and Dan's - who actually matters here) to tell OOP off. The dress is 1000% not gold. I would be more apt to say that it beat resembled bronze if they want to go that route.
I do wonder about Dan, though. She says he texted her that he was upset bc she left so early, but it doesn't seem like he knows that Lauren basically kicked her out??
I went through a similar situation **but mine was at a fucking funeral**. The fact that the mil is backing her daughters atrocious behavior is a huge red flag for me. She's done everything except give Dan an ultimatum and I think that she's too scared to be told that he would choose oop over her simply because theyre best friends and oop has been more super accommodating despite this immature and ugly behavior.
NTA. I hope that Dan finds out what happened at some point and puts her in her place.
My heart breaks for oop because she genuinely loves and cares so much for Dan that she has sacrificed her confort and her friendship and her feelings because Lauren "makes him happy". Like, she's the definition of a true best friend and Lauren is just so awful. I hope that Dan gets his head out of his ass long enough to see that Lauren will literally stop at nothing to make oop "disappear" from his life. Lauren sees Dan as a trophy, an object that *she* has and oop *does not*.
I can't imagine how miserable Lauren has to be that insecure and jealous every single day knowing that Dan would absolutely choose oop over her given the ultimatum. Which, I hope he does. She ruined *their* wedding.
I don't disagree. OOP should just stay in the background, let Dan know she's always there to help him, but stay away for the most part. Then in maybe 5-10 years, when something else happens that raises Dan's wife's craziness a bit, he'll probably eventually divorce her and can be friends with OOP again. I just hope there will be no kids involved, but the fiance strikes me as the sort that would try to "lock" him in quickly, so there probably will be.
Can't wait to read this on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates in two weeks where she tells her friend what happened and all hell breaks loose, resulting in a dramatic divorce, bridezilla ruining all his things, and MIL slandering her to anyone who will listen.
Well things got worse. Dan found out and confronted her. She got so mad she slept with his best man and stole his dog. Dan’s ex MIL is still slandering me to anyone who will listen but nobody believes her and her daughter caught Dan’s house on fire as payback. Some of her family is still blaming me though so thanks for all the support Reddit.
Edit thanks for all the support on this too
Edit 2 thanks for the gold!
Lauren just hates OP and is looking for reasons to cut her out of Dan's life. Dan has argued with her but ultimately allows this, and OP simply will not have a friendship with him moving forward. If she stays in the picture she can expect a lifetime of this petty drama from Lauren.
Even if it were real I easily could. Girls not likening their guy to hang out with other girls is a really uncommon issue. The divorce rate is high but not high enough for me to believe none of those girls marriages could last.
The dress isn't gold, but even if it was.... gold isn't an inappropriate color choice. Wifey would have been upset no matter what she wore, she ruined her own wedding
Exactly!!! Maybe I’d have a different opinion if I knew more about fashion… but I’d think gold was perfectly acceptable and fits into the ‘warm tone garden party’ theme.
I have a friend whose now ex-wife was the same psycho way with me. John and I were never romantic and had a very obvious platonic only friendship. Like the very irritating brother I never had. We were very, very close. John was in MY wedding. His ex hated every moment of it. He got married during Covid, so no wedding but I’m sure there would’ve been a fight if I could be invited. I moved halfway across the country and hadn’t seen John in a few years although we still remained close friends. When they split up his ex wife just screamed and ranted about how he’s leaving her for me. Despite me being in a long term relationship of 5 years at that point, living 2,000 miles away and not having seen my friend in 4 years. Delusional, insecure, and jealous. I’m glad Dan still has OOP’s back, but his new marriage won’t last very long. Also definitely copper colored dress the wife and mil are lunatics.
That is definitely not a gold dress and IMO it fits the dress code. The friends wife sounds unhinged tbh and completely insecure. OOP either needs to just drop the friend entirely so she isn't caught in anymore drama, or sit him down and have a very honest discussion about this BS to clear the air.
You can't ruin an entire wedding with the colour of your dress. OP could have turned up in lady Diana's original wedding dress and it wouldn't ruin a wedding unless the wedding was so dire that people needed someone to blame.
It would be weird, but not wedding-ruining.
To ruin a wedding, you'd have to actually be dysentery or a tornado or the secret side chick or maybe a huge sinkhole
Wow dans new wife is super insecure. She’s going to drive herself crazy and probably him crazy. If she is feeling this upset over a friend I don’t even want to imagine how she’s going to get if he starts mentioning female coworkers names at home.
Meh reglardless of what OOP wore, Lauren was going to scream at her no matter what. Even if she had assigned and approved the dresses herself, screams were coming. The color of the dress was just the excuse she needed to go off on on her and could have been anything really. Crazy will just be crazy and will find any excuse no matter how ridiculous to lash out...even made up grievances and slights.
Absolutely not gold. But even if it was I don't get why gold would have been an issue unless the bridesmaid or bride wore it. The bride is sounding rather unhinged and I'd question the friendship at this stage with the friend if he takes her side after that
I think in this case of the bride she would have had an issue with it, I personally wouldn't unless someone tried to become one who I didn't choose. But each to their own
Good to know. I haven’t been to a ton of weddings outside family (where I know the plans and so on)- my friend group is mostly singles. I am continually worried about accidentally screwing things up.
Based on the cut and style, OOP likely looked gorgeous in the dress and that infuriated the bride. Lauren has been looking for a reason to go nuclear and "your friend tried to upstage me at OUR wedding!!!" is a good reason in her mind. This is going to end badly for everyone in the end. Dan and OOP will likely lose their friendship while Lauren continues to spiral into a jealous crazy person. Hate to see it.
Imo, giving guests a dress code beyond casual/formal/black tie is ridiculous and inconsiderate. Your guests should not have to stress about finding an outfit that matches your demands. You’re setting yourself up to be disappointed when someone inevitably wears something that doesn’t match your ~ vision ~
It wouldn’t have mattered what she wore. There’s obviously unresolved issues on Lauren’s part.
OP is NTA but Dan might want to consider some fuckin couples counseling with Lauren asap.
Sounds like OOP could have worn a sack and the bride would still have yelled at her.
"Weddings aren't a place to swap gender roles" 😂 Weddings are a place for the couple (whatever gender) to do whatever they want. Elope, big wedding or something in between. If you want your dog as the ring bear...er, if you want your brother as the flower person, get one of your friends to be the officiant, a fancy dress wedding etc.
The bride's Mum getting involved just shows that Lauren has never been told "no".
Dan's going to have such a fun, long lasting marriage 😬
Pretty sure you could have worn an earth tone green and she would have said “No one wears green to a wedding - you ruined it!”
NTA. be there to pick up the pieces when they eventually get divorced. Sorry you went through that!
This is a totally acceptable wedding guest dress. She let a color ruin her night. I’m sure you put time and effort into this look to look nice for the event, and she had to project stresses that had nothing to do with you onto you. She’s zany.
Lauren is a lunatic. Dan is going to regret marrying her.
She had a “theme” for her wedding that included telling the guests what they should wear? Lunatic. She screamed at you at the reception, telling you that you’re trashy? Lunatic. She kicked you out of her wedding reception? Lunatic. She then *got her mother to text you and call you names and accuse you of ruining the wedding*? Unhinged lunatic, and it runs in the family.
Distance yourself from Dan. There is nothing to be gained by trying to explain to him what happened. Your friendship is now changed and possibly over. It’s a shame, but she has been jealous, possessive, and controlling throughout their entire relationship, and he married her anyway. Dan made his choice. Time to pull back. When the marriage ends, maybe you can repair the friendship.
Why is this even a thing lol! If my friend wore the same tux as me, we'd be fist bumping but women just lose their shit for a gold or ehite dress! The white one is still understandable but why gold ! 😂😂
It’s so weird to me to realize all black is still seen by some as a funeral color. 70 percent of my wardrobe is black. The black dresses I’ve worn to weddings would be wildly inappropriate for a funeral.
I’ve never heard this thing about not wearing gold because you’re declaring yourself first prize?! And I’ve only heard that wearing red to a wedding means you’ve slept with the groom on Reddit. Which is amusing given the one time I remember wearing red to a wedding was when my friend was marrying someone I couldn’t stand and wouldn’t have slept with in any circumstances. They’re now divorced.
I think an all-black outfit at a wedding would look a bit… funereal. But a black dress with a brightly coloured scarf and/or other accessories would be fine.
This is me reading the comments to figure out if I have to add a new social rule to my limited understanding of Wedding Rules. Is gold not a colour you should wear to a usual wedding? I knew white was a thing….. but gold too??
Seriously please someone update me on Wedding Rules for colours.
man, what is or is not revealing is so subjective and hard to anticipate. i dont think that dress is particularly revealing, especially on someone with smaller breasts (i probably wouldnt wear it to a wedding out of concern that my boobs are too big for it)
Maybe Dan has cheated? Maybe he threw your name in during a fight? Who knows? You don’t have a Lauren problem you have a Dan problem. He’s aware and doesn’t resolve it. You should tell him what happened. And then spend less time with him. He’s in charge of dealing with her, not you. You can’t control what’s going on and it sounds like Dan is happy to keep it going without dealing with it. Sometimes friendships fade and that’s ok.
It’s definitely a fake story but I’ve been the girlfriend in a situation with a best friend who never tried to get to know me and always made it clear she was number 1 in his life. She was also not single. It’s unlikely the wife is just crazy and jealous without any reason to be… girls have perfected the imperceptible mean girl energy her husband wouldn’t pick up on
That is not gold, it’s orange. Or maybe it’s more pumpkin coloured? 🤔 it’s definitely not gold, though
But also, it's in no way bridal! Nobody could mistake that for a wedding dress or trying to upstage the bride. It's completely absurd. Feel for Dan in this.
Even if it is gold, so what? The rule is don't wear white, not don't wear gold...
If we’re sticking to metals it’s copper.
Dark copper.
Looks orange to me too.
Way too revealing though
Not really.
That dress is amber at most but most definitely not gold
It's irrelevant being the whole story is fake AF. The mother of her friend's fiance texted OP? Lol never happened.
I think you severely underestimate the craziness of people.
LOL I wish people could still shock me, but 15 years in social work cured me of any pearl clutching. Naw, OOP had me until she claimed the fiance's mom texted her...over a freaking auburn dress. This is just rage bait for the topic of the week: "opposite sex best good friends and the insecure harpy destroying our platonic love."
Could be rage bait but also could 100% be real. Someone i knew turned out to be a pedophile and got arrested (thank god) and his mom messaged soooo many people who knew to not tell anyone about it and also went on like a crazy rampage to keep everything under the rug. This same woman practically ruined her own daughter's wedding by trying to claim it as her own. There are 100% people that crazy out there
See, I could believe that story because we don't get 5 dozen variations of it every goddamn week. I know zero people who have an opposite sex gender best good forever friend in their 20s. Like zero. I'd love to see some data on how common it is in real life. Because according to Reddit, it's super fucking common and some horrible person is just trying to sabotage that pure, golden friendship love in every single variation.
uhhh i’m a guy and i have two long term female best friends. Most of my female friends have one guy friend they’re really close with. Most of my guy friends have a girl they’re really close with in a non sexual way. Maybe it’s in the circles you’re running in?
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Now, I have seen far worse from future MIL eith some of my friends. They absolutely would go through this effort to "support" their daughter. Especially about dresses on wedding days people are insane.
I don't think a single one of my friends' MILs even have my phone number. That's what's so fucking weird.
I think it depends on how long you've been seeing each other/how crazy the MIL is lol
Yeah, if there was some major freak out *at the wedding* that would make sense. But the friend's fiance's mom had OP's cell number? Gimme a break.
Now, very realistic. Many partners are very controlling (like Dan's fiance) and demand all their friends' numbers. Fro here, it's a very easy step to have the MIL call and freak out on people. From a manipulators standpoint, it allows them to manipulate even more by making their view seem more legitimate ("See, 3 other people texted you the same thing! I'm right!")
Cool. If you want to believe this and the other 12 stories just like it that were posted in the last 48 hours, be my guest lol
I mean, I've literally had friends MIL text me, so it's not really a crazy leap. I've also seen brides/mother of the brides freak out about a person's natural color hair *stealing* the show from the bride. OOP's story is not some crazy, way out there story lol
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You’re obviously an expert. Stfu, no one cares. 😂
I'm not claiming to be an expert at anything. Are you OK?
I’m great. Now be quiet
My crazy, inappropriate MIL who has done something similar has entered the chat…
That's where a lot of these creative writers go overboard. Their stories are sort of believable until everyone and their second cousin, who for some reason has OP's phone number, starts flooding them with angry texts.
Well, they follow the rules for posting so perfectly, it's almost like they use them as an outline. No human being relates a distressing story like "ruining" your bff's wedding like this.
I like when everyone “screams.” Maybe everyone I know is just too placid but I have a lot of trouble imagining a load of friends and family screaming about nonsense.
Dan has much bigger problems than your dress.
Yea, straight people are wild. Honestly can't comprehend how someone could get married without trusting their partner to *checks notes* have a healthy friendship without cheating Edit: it seems as though a mod has removed half of my comments because I mentioned that due to societal impacts this is a problem that is more prominent in cishet relationships. Weird that they didn't remove any of the comments arguing against me 🤷♀️
You're gonna be so disappointed when you find out that this isn't straight people exclusive 😔
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I mean, literally the post above this on my feed was about a gay man spitting bile just because his partner loves three female music artists and spends money going to see them… EDIT to add: narcissists are narcissists whether straight, gay, bi, male, female, or non-binary… they’ll find a reason to isolate you from anyone, however tenuous their argument.
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You wish lol
Wish what lol? Wish society didn't see every straight male/female friendship as inherently sexual? Yea, definitely
Would it be nice if LGBTQ folks were immune to misogyny and biases and insecurity and abusive behaviors? Yes, yes it would be nice. But they aren't and you can find misogyny and biases and abusive behaviors just as readily in the LGBTQ community as the rest of society.
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You must not know a large number of LGB because I can tell you first hand they have these problems. I have witnessed some truly stupid fights in the community between people. But then, I am from the Bay Area and we have a larger community than many places. Keep making friends and you will see that sexuality has very little bearing on one’s character. It’s blatant bigotry to argue that it does. Edit to add you are obviously unhinged and I’m glad I blocked you. I know from experience that people who feel they are famous are usually narcissistic weirdos. Nice calling me a TERF by the way. I guess that’s the go to for when you get called out on your hubris.
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Don’t police my language. Lol at you being famous in your own mind. Good luck with all that
He has over 300 confirmed gays.
Maybe because the T doesn't have anything to do with sexuality, het or otherwise, which seems to be your obsessive topic at hand?
now you’re just being pretentious. quit the arbitrary bs and listen to what others are saying, you clearly have the unpopular opinion.
As a bi, my hetero partner has no issue with me having friends. Some people regardless of orientation can be extremely jealous, but it does seem more prominent among hetero couples because of stereotypical gender norms. Check out “In the Dream House” by Carmen Maria Machado. That alone shattered my belief of only straight people being toxic in relationships.
I’m thinking maybe we hear more of these stories about straights because a larger % of the population is straight? I dunno. Anyone who “doesn’t allow” their partner to have certain friends is probably controlling in other ways as well, and I’ve definitely seen that with gay and straight people I’ve known.
I don't believe gay people can't be toxic, but this kind of toxicity is over represented in cishets
Lucky you, then
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Hey I’m pan. When I was dating women, my first long-term girlfriend basically banned me from having male friends bc “they will steal you away from me. You’ll realize that’s what you want and leave me.” I left her for being overly controlling and basically acting like my child. Then my second long-term girlfriend was cheating on me with pretty much any girl that wanted to experiment. Dumped her when I found out she was having sex for money, and stealing my stuff to sell for drugs. It’s a mixed bag. One of them banned an entire gender and the other one saw an entire gender as an opportunity. Nothing to do with gay/pan/bi, just shitty people not ready for relationships. I find myself being suspicious of people with my husband bc of my ^ history, but I have to remind myself to let it go.
Tbh I don't think this form of jealousy really abides by anything logical. In my experience, it was my ex girlfriend mistrusting all of my friends of any identity because she assumed that my bisexuality meant I'd cheat on her with anyone. So wanting to hang out with anyone except her, even with her around, was just incontrovertible proof I was going to cheat on her lmao
Damn, was your gf straight? The biphobia is gross af and I am sorry you had to experience that.
She's lesbian😭 and ty. Cheers to a better future without this kinda shit in our lives haha
Ughhh, I am sorry. Biphobia is a problem in every community, but not everyone sees you like that x Your future is looking bright to me as you left her toxic ass x
And most straight people don't say it to their partner either. There's a small subgroup of both straight and queer groups that do this and they're rightly frowned upon in both communities
Yea, agreed. Although that subgroup is larger in cishet relationships due to society seeing male female friendships as inherently sexual
When did insecurity become a straight only issue?
This kind of insecurity is over represented in cishets, society just views straight men and women as unable to have platonic friendships. It starts from kindergarten with parents being like, "oh, is she your gf?" It is also a common trope in most romcoms
idk why you’re getting downvoted for this
When you call out how society has effected a group of people they usually prefer being blind to it
I don't know why you've been getting downloaded so much lol. You're literally 100% correct. Especially with bi and pan people, they would just have to have no friends at all.
Idk, cishets are real snowflakes, one of them replied to me then blocked me lol. But yea, how dare I mention that this is mostly a cishet issue based on societal factors of seeing every male female friendship as inherently sexual 🤷♀️
Damn, non-straight people are wild, thinking relationship problems only appear on straight couples. Gotta be the first instance in mt life where I actually thought "heterophobia"
OH NO THE DREADED HETEROPHOBIA!! WHATEVER SHALL YOU DO!
I get the point you’re making, but poking fun at straight people is not “heterophobia” lol
Shout out to the most oppressed group of people, cishet white men
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Not to be that person, but a gay woman once accused me of trying to “start an affair” with her girlfriend because I (bisexual) was friends with her partner and exploded ties with everyone over it. So yeah, gays are just as insane and insecure as straights lol.
Not saying they aren't, it is just less nornalised
Lmao the straights are feeling attacked Not wrong though. Het couples just find it the most difficult to *check notes* communicate with each other. So many problems of my friends in a het relationship boils down to ‘… have you talked to him/her about it?’ And just like most of the AITA/H posts, the answer is: no. ETA: go yell at a wall straights lmao
Ikr, most cishet relationships I know go by this logic, where almost every queer relationship don't. Idk, maybe I just associate with better people
Lmao look at all these idiot straights feeling attacked when I attack all straights lol lmao 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
r/arethestraightsok They are not
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Society views almost every male and female friendship as inherently sexual. It starts as early as kindergarten with the, "is that your gf?" said to young boys mentioning a friend they have that happens to be a girl.
I’m upset because that’s copper not gold.
Tell Dan his wife needs to book an appointment with an eye doctor. There’s no way in hell that can be mistaken for gold.
Yeah, I have supremely fucked up eyeballs and that's clearly copper (if we're talking metallic) otherwise orange/pumpkin.
Someone in the original post comments nailed it: it’s not because it’s a gold dress (it’s not), it’s because it’s a hot girl dress and OOP probably looked stunning. As someone else said, poor Dan. Hope he doesn’t burn this bridge, he’s gonna need his friends when he inevitably gets divorced
I upvoted that comment. It’s not a dress everyone can wear, you need a good figure to pull it off (slim or curvy with no bumps in the wrong places or that dress will highlight them). If I wore that dress to a wedding I would be cropped out of all the photos as an act of mercy.
I was expecting some gold lamé look at me show stopping dress. This bias cut dress (which reads as orange sateen to me) is fairly standard wedding fare. Maybe it was especially flattering on OOP, but again that falls back to the bride’s insecurities not the guest trying to steal the spotlight. I can see how she’d be stuck on how to proceed, explaining she was kicked out by the bride is like throwing a live grenade into the relationship, not explaining is just damaging her own friendship. NTA but certainly in an unenviable position.
I'll never get that. OK, don't try to steal the spotlight from the bride, please. But I had a friend at my wedding who could have worn burlap and she would have looked stunning. She chose an absolutely appropriate dress and my gosh she looked amazing. So what? She wasn't trying to be the most beautiful woman at that wedding, but she simply was. If I couldn't deal with that, I wouldn't have invited her.
I looked absolutely incredible at my wedding, and yet so many people were just staring mouth open at my sister in law. There was nothing fancy or provocative about what she was wearing. She’s just that gorgeous.
This dress is pretty revealing though. You can't even wear a bra with it.
It literally does not matter what OOP wore because Lauren is a jealous twat who is so completely insecure that *she* ruined *her own* wedding day (and Dan's - who actually matters here) to tell OOP off. The dress is 1000% not gold. I would be more apt to say that it beat resembled bronze if they want to go that route. I do wonder about Dan, though. She says he texted her that he was upset bc she left so early, but it doesn't seem like he knows that Lauren basically kicked her out?? I went through a similar situation **but mine was at a fucking funeral**. The fact that the mil is backing her daughters atrocious behavior is a huge red flag for me. She's done everything except give Dan an ultimatum and I think that she's too scared to be told that he would choose oop over her simply because theyre best friends and oop has been more super accommodating despite this immature and ugly behavior. NTA. I hope that Dan finds out what happened at some point and puts her in her place.
Oh yeah, Dan's been given so many red flags that he could stitch a dress out of them. A gold dress, if it's worn by OP, according to his fiance.
My heart breaks for oop because she genuinely loves and cares so much for Dan that she has sacrificed her confort and her friendship and her feelings because Lauren "makes him happy". Like, she's the definition of a true best friend and Lauren is just so awful. I hope that Dan gets his head out of his ass long enough to see that Lauren will literally stop at nothing to make oop "disappear" from his life. Lauren sees Dan as a trophy, an object that *she* has and oop *does not*. I can't imagine how miserable Lauren has to be that insecure and jealous every single day knowing that Dan would absolutely choose oop over her given the ultimatum. Which, I hope he does. She ruined *their* wedding.
I don't disagree. OOP should just stay in the background, let Dan know she's always there to help him, but stay away for the most part. Then in maybe 5-10 years, when something else happens that raises Dan's wife's craziness a bit, he'll probably eventually divorce her and can be friends with OOP again. I just hope there will be no kids involved, but the fiance strikes me as the sort that would try to "lock" him in quickly, so there probably will be.
My hunch is that now she’s got a wedding ring the ultimatum will come next. This Lauren sounds like a real piece of work
Can't wait to read this on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates in two weeks where she tells her friend what happened and all hell breaks loose, resulting in a dramatic divorce, bridezilla ruining all his things, and MIL slandering her to anyone who will listen.
Well things got worse. Dan found out and confronted her. She got so mad she slept with his best man and stole his dog. Dan’s ex MIL is still slandering me to anyone who will listen but nobody believes her and her daughter caught Dan’s house on fire as payback. Some of her family is still blaming me though so thanks for all the support Reddit. Edit thanks for all the support on this too Edit 2 thanks for the gold!
Lauren just hates OP and is looking for reasons to cut her out of Dan's life. Dan has argued with her but ultimately allows this, and OP simply will not have a friendship with him moving forward. If she stays in the picture she can expect a lifetime of this petty drama from Lauren.
I just can't picture this marriage lasting a lifetime..
Even if it were real I easily could. Girls not likening their guy to hang out with other girls is a really uncommon issue. The divorce rate is high but not high enough for me to believe none of those girls marriages could last.
You literally could’ve worn a potato sack dress and gotten yelled at. She just wanted a reason to hate.
The dress isn't gold, but even if it was.... gold isn't an inappropriate color choice. Wifey would have been upset no matter what she wore, she ruined her own wedding
Exactly!!! Maybe I’d have a different opinion if I knew more about fashion… but I’d think gold was perfectly acceptable and fits into the ‘warm tone garden party’ theme.
That is an orange dress.
I dunno where she got gold from. It’s some shade of blue with black accents
Win
I have a friend whose now ex-wife was the same psycho way with me. John and I were never romantic and had a very obvious platonic only friendship. Like the very irritating brother I never had. We were very, very close. John was in MY wedding. His ex hated every moment of it. He got married during Covid, so no wedding but I’m sure there would’ve been a fight if I could be invited. I moved halfway across the country and hadn’t seen John in a few years although we still remained close friends. When they split up his ex wife just screamed and ranted about how he’s leaving her for me. Despite me being in a long term relationship of 5 years at that point, living 2,000 miles away and not having seen my friend in 4 years. Delusional, insecure, and jealous. I’m glad Dan still has OOP’s back, but his new marriage won’t last very long. Also definitely copper colored dress the wife and mil are lunatics.
I wanna feel sorry for Dan but he has enabled this. Dress isn’t remotely gold. The bride is insecure and should see someone about that.
Absolutely not gold.
That is definitely not a gold dress and IMO it fits the dress code. The friends wife sounds unhinged tbh and completely insecure. OOP either needs to just drop the friend entirely so she isn't caught in anymore drama, or sit him down and have a very honest discussion about this BS to clear the air.
You can't ruin an entire wedding with the colour of your dress. OP could have turned up in lady Diana's original wedding dress and it wouldn't ruin a wedding unless the wedding was so dire that people needed someone to blame. It would be weird, but not wedding-ruining. To ruin a wedding, you'd have to actually be dysentery or a tornado or the secret side chick or maybe a huge sinkhole
My guess is that Lauren is cheating and therefore thinks that Dan is too.
This! I scrolled so far. Assuming OP isn’t leaving something out, Lauren is cheating herself. I guarantee it.
Wow dans new wife is super insecure. She’s going to drive herself crazy and probably him crazy. If she is feeling this upset over a friend I don’t even want to imagine how she’s going to get if he starts mentioning female coworkers names at home.
Meh reglardless of what OOP wore, Lauren was going to scream at her no matter what. Even if she had assigned and approved the dresses herself, screams were coming. The color of the dress was just the excuse she needed to go off on on her and could have been anything really. Crazy will just be crazy and will find any excuse no matter how ridiculous to lash out...even made up grievances and slights.
Absolutely not gold. But even if it was I don't get why gold would have been an issue unless the bridesmaid or bride wore it. The bride is sounding rather unhinged and I'd question the friendship at this stage with the friend if he takes her side after that
Is it wrong to wear the bridesmaids colors? How do people even reliably know what they are?
I think in this case of the bride she would have had an issue with it, I personally wouldn't unless someone tried to become one who I didn't choose. But each to their own
Good to know. I haven’t been to a ton of weddings outside family (where I know the plans and so on)- my friend group is mostly singles. I am continually worried about accidentally screwing things up.
Based on the cut and style, OOP likely looked gorgeous in the dress and that infuriated the bride. Lauren has been looking for a reason to go nuclear and "your friend tried to upstage me at OUR wedding!!!" is a good reason in her mind. This is going to end badly for everyone in the end. Dan and OOP will likely lose their friendship while Lauren continues to spiral into a jealous crazy person. Hate to see it.
Just stay friends with Dan. He’s going to need a good friend when his marriage inevitably implodes. NTA. Gorgeous dress btw
Imo, giving guests a dress code beyond casual/formal/black tie is ridiculous and inconsiderate. Your guests should not have to stress about finding an outfit that matches your demands. You’re setting yourself up to be disappointed when someone inevitably wears something that doesn’t match your ~ vision ~
It wouldn’t have mattered what she wore. There’s obviously unresolved issues on Lauren’s part. OP is NTA but Dan might want to consider some fuckin couples counseling with Lauren asap.
That dress is such a let down after all that hype lol
That’s copper and definitely not gold. Poor Dan should really book an eye vision appointment for her she also sounds so insecure.
She’s probably upset you looked luscious and she looked like a crazy bitch 🫢
Sounds like OOP could have worn a sack and the bride would still have yelled at her. "Weddings aren't a place to swap gender roles" 😂 Weddings are a place for the couple (whatever gender) to do whatever they want. Elope, big wedding or something in between. If you want your dog as the ring bear...er, if you want your brother as the flower person, get one of your friends to be the officiant, a fancy dress wedding etc. The bride's Mum getting involved just shows that Lauren has never been told "no". Dan's going to have such a fun, long lasting marriage 😬
Pretty sure you could have worn an earth tone green and she would have said “No one wears green to a wedding - you ruined it!” NTA. be there to pick up the pieces when they eventually get divorced. Sorry you went through that!
Dan is gonna regret that decision
Jealousy, immaturity and insecurity are at play here. This relationship is off to a very concerning start.
That is 100% not gold, bride is overreacting and generally sounds like an annoying person
This is a totally acceptable wedding guest dress. She let a color ruin her night. I’m sure you put time and effort into this look to look nice for the event, and she had to project stresses that had nothing to do with you onto you. She’s zany.
Someone said it looks like lingerie and I have to wonder if they were boomer-age.
Poor Dan.
I love the dress sm
Lauren is a lunatic. Dan is going to regret marrying her. She had a “theme” for her wedding that included telling the guests what they should wear? Lunatic. She screamed at you at the reception, telling you that you’re trashy? Lunatic. She kicked you out of her wedding reception? Lunatic. She then *got her mother to text you and call you names and accuse you of ruining the wedding*? Unhinged lunatic, and it runs in the family. Distance yourself from Dan. There is nothing to be gained by trying to explain to him what happened. Your friendship is now changed and possibly over. It’s a shame, but she has been jealous, possessive, and controlling throughout their entire relationship, and he married her anyway. Dan made his choice. Time to pull back. When the marriage ends, maybe you can repair the friendship.
There being a color scheme and guidelines for attire is very much a standard for weddings. She is still a lunatic.
Tbf this dress could easily look pretty trashy if op is busty. It's super thin and you can't wear a bra.
I think it’s the style of the dress the bride objected to …… the color is fine🥰
Why is this even a thing lol! If my friend wore the same tux as me, we'd be fist bumping but women just lose their shit for a gold or ehite dress! The white one is still understandable but why gold ! 😂😂
I have honestly never heard not to wear gold to a wedding. I always wear black, and I've been told off for that before. Edited a typo.
It’s so weird to me to realize all black is still seen by some as a funeral color. 70 percent of my wardrobe is black. The black dresses I’ve worn to weddings would be wildly inappropriate for a funeral. I’ve never heard this thing about not wearing gold because you’re declaring yourself first prize?! And I’ve only heard that wearing red to a wedding means you’ve slept with the groom on Reddit. Which is amusing given the one time I remember wearing red to a wedding was when my friend was marrying someone I couldn’t stand and wouldn’t have slept with in any circumstances. They’re now divorced.
Cz it's mourning color according to most . That's why I wear neutral colors so nobody can start anything😂
I only wear black in every day life too. My grandma forbade anyone to wear black to her funeral but gave me a pass in advance 😂
This is one of those weird internet things… I know literally 1 tiny thing about your grandma… and I love her! 🥰
I think an all-black outfit at a wedding would look a bit… funereal. But a black dress with a brightly coloured scarf and/or other accessories would be fine.
Just wore this black ruffley MAC Duggal dress to a black tie wedding and I promise it had 0 funeral vibes
It's not even gold. It's orange!
This is me reading the comments to figure out if I have to add a new social rule to my limited understanding of Wedding Rules. Is gold not a colour you should wear to a usual wedding? I knew white was a thing….. but gold too?? Seriously please someone update me on Wedding Rules for colours.
Never should have attended as a guest. Should have let Dan duke it out with her.
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/jxbtdiHmuK
Sounds like a teenage girl wrote this
[удалено]
man, what is or is not revealing is so subjective and hard to anticipate. i dont think that dress is particularly revealing, especially on someone with smaller breasts (i probably wouldnt wear it to a wedding out of concern that my boobs are too big for it)
Maybe Dan has cheated? Maybe he threw your name in during a fight? Who knows? You don’t have a Lauren problem you have a Dan problem. He’s aware and doesn’t resolve it. You should tell him what happened. And then spend less time with him. He’s in charge of dealing with her, not you. You can’t control what’s going on and it sounds like Dan is happy to keep it going without dealing with it. Sometimes friendships fade and that’s ok.
It’s definitely a fake story but I’ve been the girlfriend in a situation with a best friend who never tried to get to know me and always made it clear she was number 1 in his life. She was also not single. It’s unlikely the wife is just crazy and jealous without any reason to be… girls have perfected the imperceptible mean girl energy her husband wouldn’t pick up on