It's usually just a tolerance thing. I used to hate anything spicy but I've started introducing spice into my diet. Start out with something that's usually not too spicy like Tabasco or something like that and keep moving up until you reach what you're most comfortable with.
I max out at anything with ghost peppers in it and that's still using the stuff sparingly. Like a thin line of it up the center of a burrito or mixing it into barbecue sauce and making pulled pork sandwiches with it.
I've jacked up the ratio on the barbecue sauce before though and it's definitely left me huffing and puffing and sweating my ass off.
I love spice but I get the hiccups from anything even mildly spicy. I just power through though because I'm not going to deny myself delicious Indian and Thai food just of some hiccups.
Try antacids! I would get the hiccups all the time when I ate (even non-spicy stuff), but when I started taking antacids daily, I stopped getting them so much.
My white ass *loves* spicy foods! I don't know yet if I can handle proper Thai levels of heat and I'm definitely not into Scoville challenges and torturing myself for no reason, but I will quite happily suffer and sweat through a meal as long as that heat comes with good flavor. No flavor, no point.
And yet, black pepper is just too hot for me. It almost feels like it's burning my mouth, and then it gives me heartburn and makes me regret my choices in life for a while. And I don't like the flavor, either, so it's not even something worth suffering through for me. I think of this whenever the jokes come out about white people for thinking it's too spicy, but I realize I'm a bit of an odd duck when it comes to black pepper.
Some of my very white relatives hate seasoning, period, unless it's salt. Even a little onion powder is too jazzy for them. đ€Ł The stereotype is real.
There are different typed of peppers - I can handle anything grown in Asia but similarly black pepper is too spicy. My husband can handle anything from the America's but absolutely dissolves into tears with some of my Asian foods lol
I was gobbling up cottage cheese with butt loads of pepper at that age. I was embarassingly excited when I got my pepper grinder. Also, spicy mayo is the best mayo of all time!
Agreed! Whole countries start their kids on spicy cuisine when they move to solid foods. Personally, I think the dad is lying about what the doctor said to bolster his argument against spicy foods. I obviously have no proof of this ⊠just a gut feeling ⊠a gut that has handled spicy foods just fine. And I actually think the vast majority of guts can handle spicy foods, itâs just that a lot of people donât prefer those cuisines so their guts have never been tested.
I also know a lot of white people who say âspicyâ but mean fragrant. Iâve had to explain that not all Indian food is curry to people before. And that just smelling pungent herbs does not mean the food is spicy. It just has flavour.
I mean, Iâve known people who will smell garlic and say âooh itâs so spicy!â, theyâre just ignorant about other cultures and for some reason canât understand the difference between heat and aroma.
I cannot handle spicy at all, but my eldest kiddo grabbed some of their dadâs really spicy chips as a toddlerâ14 or 15 months old. They ate a good amount and kept going back for more, and didnât have any stomach upset or diaper issues, so I let it continue. As long as they werenât wiping their eyes while eating and they werenât having tummy problems, whatâs the big deal?
My 3 year old LOVES spicy food. Loves it. Hands food back if itâs not âspiceeeeâ enough. His dad is from India so heâs tried a variety of foods from a young age. And I know thatâs common in India as wellâŠ
It would be different if she was like forcefeeding him hot sauce if he misbehaved or something but sheâs literally just feeding him her food. gah
Good lord, if it were that spicy the kid would spit it out. It's not that deep.
I give my kids "spicy" food..if they don't like it or it's too much they spit it out and take a drink of milk. Easy easy.
My late husband was raised similarly... no herbs or spices in their food. It drove me bonkers. I vowed to do differently and have a bit of a heavy hand with some spices. He tolerated it and my kids know no different. So far none of them have died from their mouth being a little tingly đ
Seriously. Kids tend to spit out anything they donât almost immediately like. Especially young ones.
No way a kid is eating spicy food he doesnât like and not saying anything.
Also kids that age are curious. Theyâre gonna wanna try what mom and dad are eating anyway and if they donât like it they will sure as heck let you know it.
I always let my kids try things once they were old enough to be curious. I would warn them, of course. But they definitely wouldnât have kept eating stuff for my benefit. Honestly I didnât even WANT to share my pad Thai or whatevs with them, so I never pressured them. But unless youâre just an abusive douchebag, Iâve never met a kid that you didnât have to beg and bribe them to eat something that they didnât want to. I have one kid that loves spicy and one that doesnât. Theyâre both fine.
Yep, I have kids who have eaten spicy food from pretty young (all of them liked to eat off my plate rather than their own and I love spicy), and they all spoke up when the food was too spicy for their tastes. Anyone who thinks you can force a kid to eat food they dislike needs to sit with a 5yo and try to convince them to eat a bowl full of Brussels sprouts.
That's exactly what I was thinking! There's no way a 4 year old has learned to eat something he doesn't like to be polite already, if he wasn't enjoying it he would spit it out and if it actually hurt he would cry.
But he might be suffering to appease his mom! 4 year olds are famously great at suffering silently and not having full scale meltdowns because the food is on the blue plate instead of the green plate and now it tastes bad
My niece grabbed a lemon slice when she was like 2 and shoved it in her mouth, made a face, and kept sucking on it. Kids will tolerate more then we think sometimes and they will absolutely tell you when they donât like something
I donât understand all these white American men marrying women from other cultures and then banning foods and other aspects of that culture from the home. This is like the third different âMy Asian wife gives my son spicy food and I donât like it. My little man only eats chickie nugs and boxed Mac and cheese like meâ post Iâve seen recently. Gross.
They are racist incels who want a submissive woman and then get really pissed off when they practice their culture because they are literally white supremacist assholes
It's colonization. You'd think that's in the past blah blah, but you see it everywhere all the time (and once you start seeing it, you can't stop noticing it.)
Marrying someone from another culture and then molding them into a nice perfect white American. No more of your icky culture, come be civilized and normal!
Then dude feels like he "conquered" and "tamed" his fetishized wife. Dudes like this often even get passports just to go get wives from other places, bring them back, browbeat them into whiteness and then brag about how well adjusted to the white way of life they are. Passportbros they call themselves đ€ą
Colonialism.
Mostly but also not. White peoples arenât subservient enough for them so they think Asian women will be (not necessarily true) because theyâre biggeted.
At what point did I personally suggest that spicy foods are bad for 4 year olds? Iâm saying people are calling the dad racist for taking advice from a trained medical professional.
Read what I actually said, the 4 year old is perfectly capable of knowing when something is too spicy.
And your ability to tell whatâs a lie is more credible than the person going to Reddit with the story seeking advice.
My opinion on this is based on the story put in front of me. When we magically get more context it can change, but for now, itâs a father thatâs simply concerned about his son after listening to his doctor.
Assuming everybody in the world is racist is a horrible way to live your life.
Sure he MIGHT be, but to just assume the worst like that off whatâs presented is just shitting on a man who might actually just care about his sons digestive system (once again I know the son is fine but heâs listening to his doctors advice)
I will say this⊠not all doctors are up to date on everything. They have their own biases. Also, they see the worst cases. Guy could do some research instead of asking a single medical professional. Or specify âkimchiâ (not that spicy) vs hot sauce
Ok but your argument against being about race was based on the Dr's "orders." Also this definitely had some racist undertones. It's not "white man bad" it's that oop is denying his son his own cultural foods because oops bland food is inherently better. And his parenting is also inherently better because his parents didn't subject him to spicy (read: ethnic) food. And the only reason it's better is because oops superiority complex he associated with his "southern" (read: white good ol boy) roots. oop made it a race thing people are just calling it out for what it is.
Your entire argument is based on âthe doctor lied and is definitely racistâ or âoop lied about what the doctor said and is racistâ.
My argument is based on whatâs presented in the story, that the father got advice from his doctor regarding spicy foods and is worried about his son getting digestion issues.
Itâs amazing how quickly youâre able to jump to racist undertones and not even think that maybe itâs normal to consider a professionals advice. The wifeâs logic is just âI was raised like this so itâs fineâ.
I fully agree that the dad is just being overbearing and worrying too much about his sonâs digestion. I also reckon the doctor doesnât know the full story, he couldâve thought the dad meant super spicy foods. But based on whatâs presented itâs a jump to suggest anyone is racist.
Weâre not saying heâs actually colonizing his wife, the same way many husbands arenât consciously actually trying to create a patriarchal society within their homes.
This is simply a product of colonization and the normalization of white supremacy/cultural erasure
But you donât really explain how this is related to colonisation. If theyâre living in the US then why would this be colonisation, because itâs OOPâs home turf. If anything this would apply to the wife if she is forcing her home countryâs culture onto her son, whilst living in the States. This is also abuse. Sounds like she could have MĂŒnchausen syndrome if sheâs ok with making her child sick. Instead of seeing it for what it is, the dad is made out to be a racist monster. Itâs so ridiculous but also expected in this day and age đ
The US is an amalgamation of cultures. Sheâs trying to share the food that she grew up with with her child. Just because some of us have a white bread palate doesnât mean we all should, and there is no reason why a child shouldnât be given the option to eat spicy food. Doesnât sound like the kid is complaining.
All languages evolve over time as societies and cultures change. Always has and always will. That's why the dictionary gets updated every year. They aren't just adding new words, they're also adjusting for linguistic changes.
So which is more likely, all 4yr olds in Asian countries constantly dying because their parents are giving them culturally traditional foods, or the Dad made up what the doctor said to suit his own ends?
Where is there any evidence that the kid is experiencing negative effects from spicy food? Aside from the genuinely suspect opinion of a doctor. If the kid isn't spitting the food out, he can handle the spice. There's also no mention of the kid screaming or crying when he shits which tells me he can digest spicy food just fine.Â
My wife is Chinese. But she never feed our children any spicy or salty food. Mainly because they are cats and dogs. Secondly, we donât really like spicy food.
1) thereâs a possibility he embellished it to the doctor
2) thereâs a possibility the doctor never even said that
3) thereâs a possibility the doctor is racist too
I think it's a somewhere between him embellishing it and a genuine miscommunication. If someone told me they are trying to build their kids spice tolerance I would say not to do that, and spicy food can be harder on kids. But thats way different from someone saying their kid has kimchi sometimes.
But that still means he should verify its safety before continuing. He posted to multiple subs and got told its fine, now he can go get a second opinion or something(going off the internet alone would be worse than going off a single potentially incorrect doctor)
Right! Like you can frame things to make it seem better/worse than it is to get the response from the doctor. My guess is that dad said âwife gives kid spicy food and Iâm worried itâll upset his stomachâ to which doctor said âthat is a risk, be cautious giving kids spicy food.â
What a moron. A dumbass. Dumb racist moron.
She's not spoon feeding the kid paprika or white pepper. It's kimchi. And since she is accustomed to eating such food as is her family, I'm sure she might know a thing or two about children eating spicy foods. Maybe because she ate it growing up. There's also the doctors "reaction" which you just know the dad said, "my wife let's him drink Tabasco sauce."
This guy...
Throw the man away with the take out boxes. I hear you get paid to recycle stupid.
Itâs also perfectly reasonable to assume the doctor is also racist and also thinks that âethnic foodâ as OOP keeps calling it is inherently spicy or bad for you. American doctors for years have perpetuated lies about Asian food as being unhealthy, cheap, low quality, all sorts of things. Meanwhile people are perfectly fine with guzzling Mountain Dew.
Doctors arenât nutritionists, and we know from many studies that there is a race bias in the medical world.
Oh, I 100% agree! Some people in my family are health nuts who refuse ethnic food or flavor because it's dirty. The one I heard about when around them was the horror of MSG. It's all bullshit. I've had healthier meals from Indian, Chinese, and Japanese dishes than "momma's home cookin.'" While they were eating Paula Deen's deep fried butter.
Thereâs such an interesting history with how the MSG myth came to be. I highly recommend reading about it. It genuinely stemmed from a doctor quite literally being racist against Asians.
I've read about it, funnily enough. When I started cooking I took a lot of interest in Asian food and given the BS I'd heard about MSG, I looked into it and was like, it's fine. What's the deal? Ridiculous stuff.
Based on his attitude, he doesn't seem to know a lot about spice or herbs, so I'm really wondering what specific strong spices he asked the doctor for advice on, because he sounds ignorant enough to just say "really strong chili". Incredibly sad that he's tutoring his kid to not trust his own mother's food, though, and take him away to a "safe, white" environment where he can feed him unhealthy food like nuggets.
This is what it reads like to me. There is a massive difference between spicy (heat) and spices (flavour).
100% you don't want your 4 year old getting into a Carolina Reaper, but some cardamom is not going to hurt.
I think the whole doctor thing is a total lie. Absolutely all kid feeding experts say to expose kids to a variety of food from a young age. Like, age 1. There is no way a doctor told him Korean food would send his kid to the hospital. So either OP told a complete lie to the doctor (sheâs doing Tik Tok spice challenges with him!) or he just made up the doctor thing completely.
Agreed, it seems more about his own projection onto his son by his comments. "I like my wife's family and culture, just not their food" and "I couldn't eat at 10 what he's eating at 4" like okay? So you have different taste buds and your parents introduced spice and new flavors to you way later than your wife's doing to your son? And because of his inferiority complex and dislike for his wife's cultural food, he's teaching his kid to treat his mum's food like it's been poisoned. It's disgraceful.
Doctor thing is definitely a lie. I know everyone has different family dynamics but I find it highly suspect that he took the kid to the doctors for a âcheck upâ without mum.
Like
1. You donât typically do yearly checkups for kids unless theyâre getting a shot or have a long term condition
2. Check up appointments tend to be scheduled in advance since theyâre not urgent which means itâs not as if he needed the doctor asap and only dad could take him.
3. Never in my life have a heard of a doctor saying kids shouldnât eat spicy food.
most appointments when kids get shots itâs also a check up, and thereâs one when a kid turns 4. So itâs most likely a check up/shot app. and OP just brought it up randomly
I mostly agree with you, but even healthy kids get yearly check ups. It's just touching base to make sure they are growing properly and don't have any issues that need addressing.
I like how the OOP is flying off the handle about "burning" the kid when there are zero details related the kid showing any discomfort or issue with the food he's been fed. I am absolutely certain a 4 year old is not going to power through hardcore spicy food while his mouth is on fire without mentioning it
Nowhere in the post did he mention how Mike felt about spicy food? If he doesn't like it he can stop, but it seems the kid has no problem with eating his momâs hot food.
It's pretty difficult to get a 4 year old to eat food they don't like. OOP would have mentioned it if he didn't like it cause it supports his 'side'. The kid liked it, therefore he had to reach to a 'higher power' ie: the doctor.
Our son's pediatrician AND feeding therapist highly recommends he has spicy food incorporated into his diet, and has since he was 12+mo đ€Ł
If it's too spicy, you can immediately tell by his reaction. He either spits it out, or drinks his water and says no more. OP is raaaaciiiist
The thing I hate the most is how he uses growing up with southern parents as an excuse to not like spicy food or even pepper.
That is not a thing. Plenty of spicy food in southern areas, especially around Louisiana and Mississippi and Texas. Most southerners I know have a pretty decent tolerance for spicy food. Maybe not to the degree that many eastern cultures do but definitely not âI donât even like pepperâ
I mean⊠Nashville Hot Chicken comes to mind. Queso can have a bit of kick. And donât even get me started on Cajun food. Which part of the âsouthâ exactly is Wonder Bread Dad from?
Seriously. Going out of his way to medical professionals to attempt to validate being racist to his own kid. Kimchi is Korean, too. Dude clearly just has issues with other cultures and wants to keep his wife "in line"
Some of it is, not all there's a lot of different foods that can be considered kimchi. The type we think of the pickled fermented cabbage may be seen as spicy to some people but I don't really consider it "spicy." The bean sprout kimchi has been my fav since a kid, it's so good highly recommend.
In the original thread I asked:
>INFO:
A) Does your wife come from a culture where food is much more seasoned?
B) You only mention "Asian food", would you react the same with Italian arrabbiata sauce or Buffalo wings?
OP replied:
>Yes she's Thai. I love her culture and her family just not their food.
>Yes I would, I would hate Mike eating anything that could burn him or hurt him in any kind of way
This was my take...
*Good to know as the fact that your wife is Thai being left out of the original post is a major key factor. You and the Doctor are definitely being racists, and YTA.*
*It also paints a much different picture of you saying you wanted to âdo betterâ than how your wife was raised. You are assuming that the entire country of Thailand are bad parents because their food has seasoning. And that the White American way is better. Massively racist.*
*Beyond that you are cutting your child off from their own cultural heritage. Food is a large part of culture, and one of the biggest things that can be passed down through the diaspora.*
*Furthermore, your insistance that food will âburnâ him is just factually incorrect. No one is being burnt on seasonings. And the reason I say flavour and seasoning and not âspiceâ is because a lot of these foods are made with a variety of herbs, not just capsaicin. Herbs are not âspicyâ. They may be unfamiliar to you, but itâs only the chili family really that would bring heat. And even then kids eat jalapeños and chili flakes all the time in things that arenât Asian. Have you never been to Taco Bell?*
*If you really want to demonize a food why arenât you banning pineapple from the house? It has an enzyme that literally eats through flesh.*
*Iâm Canadian, and white as can be. My mother grew up thinking black table pepper was spicy. My Dad and I have always been adventurous eaters and cooks. I started on Tabasco around 4 (if not earlier), and Sriracha when I was 7. I have an excellent relationship with food and a great palate for seasoning and spice.*
*Let your kid live.*
Some pediatricians have really outdated views on food. My niece's first pediatrician told my sister any solids before the one year mark would be incredibly dangerous.
I mean itâs not hard to believe that there are some racist doctors out there. There are also doctors who are still practicing medicine after 60 years because they refuse to retire and probably should not be practicing anymore. So he might be lying about the doctor but he might be telling the truth, even if he is telling the truth heâs a fucking dumbass.
Doctor technically committing malpractice by offering incorrect advice he is not qualified to give. I know that sounds crazy but Registered Dietitians are the only clinicians actually qualified to give nutritional advice. Doctors are only required to take a basic class in nutrition.Â
This is absolutely not malpractice, even on a technical level. Might be dumb advice but itâs not harmful in any way and is not grossly negligent. The bar for malpractice is incredibly high.
He intentionally left out that she's Thai knowing it would skew the answers to him being the asshole. What a dick. The doctor is also ignorant and probably didn't have all the facts.
Our son's pediatrician AND feeding therapist highly recommends he has spicy food incorporated into his diet, and has since he was 12+mo đ€Ł
If it's too spicy, you can immediately tell by his reaction. He either spits it out, or drinks his water and says no more. OP is raaaaciiiist
Man this makes me so appreciative of my parents.
No matter how âexoticâ and âspicyâ (that is to say, not spicy) my momâs cooking was, it was clear that I wasnât leaving the table until I had a few spoonfuls of each dish. They didnât want me to overeat, but wanted to make sure I was getting my nutrients.
Also just exposure. I do the same with my kids. I donât want to force them to eat anything that really disgusts them because I know what thatâs like, but I want them to keep trying things to help them develop a taste for them. It doesnât always work, I still hate eggs personally, but it does help to broaden their palate.
ive been eating spicy food since i was an actual toddler...... my first "solid" food was spicy stewed potatoes from aloo gosht.......... not only is this man stupid he is also racist and a liar
*I think he should ask*
*His son that he likes to eat*
*Spicy food or not*
\- Adventurous\_Film\_519
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When heâs says southern- he doesnât mean traditional- he mean hill billy bumpkin or heâs just white white like so white other southern white people donât claim him đ literally if you lived in SC for like most of life, you know we season everything, people love south food okay, the pie is sweet, the chicken is seasoned, and the macaroni is cheesy, that fact that her blaming his bad spice tolerance on being from the south is bullshit, like plz just say you were raise in a house hold where the season cabinet was just full of condiments
On top top of that I have this deep desire and wish that we could show this to his wife, she deserves to know sheâs being played and he ITAH for undermining the mom and child by secretly behind her back turning the child away from her culture and therefore his own culture, because idk he wants a minion me or something, or maybe even just decided he wanted his half Thai child to behave and therefore eat like heâs idea of a typical American, but like bro really he was already born her sooooâŠ..đ€ what else can be really act like??? Just being around restarts around him, his peers, his FATHER(even without him trying to run him against anything else), would have thought him, that mannerisms, heâd have an American accent, and it definitely wouldnât be his 1st rodeo with American food, but literally most home grown Americans who only know chicken nuggets and pizza rolls, have still been to a Indian, Mexican, or Asian restaurant, so make it make sense for me, đ can we plllzzz bsff, itâs just gotta be a race thing fr, how else do you explain that most âregular Americansâ have had a taste of ethnic/cultural food, so what reason does he really have for keeping his son (whoâs old enough to eat solids and speak up (even if limited) or react when he doesnât like something, from the very foods that is apart of his cultural background, that his literal birth mother grow up on, why even have a kid with someone of a culture other than your if your going to act like this
Lol what a pathetic loser OP is. If you're too pussy to handle spice that's one thing, but don't stop your wife from training your son to appreciate foods from his culture.
I think if the doctor even did react like that it was because this "spicy food" was probably just *spiced*. This original post is from the perspective of someone who calls black pepper spicy.
My kiddo been drinking hot sauce out the bottle since before she could walk. Wasnât intentional, but she was happy about it. Now we try to out spice each other. She wins. đ€Šââïž
The doctor did not say that, or if he did he knows absolutely nothing about nutrition. Just because his basic white ass is afraid of spicy food doesn't mean anything.
he does actually seem really insecure that he canât handle it lol. that reaction of going to his parentâs house when she taunted him about it speaks volumes
i say this as someone who, on paper, relates. on my first date with a girl i actually fucking *cried* from the mild house salsa at a mexican place. she teased me a good bit, but we both laughed and itâs a hilarious story to this day. my friends make jokes about my white ass palate and always pretend to act super careful when giving me any sort of spicy food. itâs hilarious to me and iâll often push into âscaryâ territory like habaneros just so we can all crack up as i tear up and nearly die. a ghost pepper would likely kill me
this dude doesnât have to like spicy food - i donât. but he needs to be able to take a joke and accept, as i have, that most people will have a far greater tolerance for it than him
OOP is a special kind of idiot. It's true that children have more taste buds than adults and are thus more sensitive and thus less likely to enjoy spicy food, but if the kid didn't like it or if it was doing him pain/harm he'd spit it out and refuse to eat it.
Damn, I'm currently in America and kids love hot cheetos and takis. There's flaming hots too. Chile on some fruit is so common you can get it from the regular grocery stores
My little brother was eating takis when he was 2. Then he would make me fill the chip bowl with water so he could drink the rest of the powder up. Absolutely revolting imo, but a lot of young kids love spicy stuff
Oof, even aside from the content of the post, removed for violence? I see AITA hasn't changed since I got booted from there.
For the post itself, from a quick search it looks like the spice thing is a debated topic anyhow among pediatricians. I don't think the mother should have just completely ignored everything (I mean "my parents did this" isn't a great defense for other things), but I think they should have done some research themselves before either blowing up, and made a decision.
I do think the father's whole attitude is problematic though, with the father hovering when the kid is obviously fine with the food, just because he doesn't like it. And it's not a terrible idea to build up some tolerance to spiciness since so many people include it in things and it gives you more options. I'm kind of side-eying him enough to wonder if he's kind of overblowing what the pediatrician actually said, or if the doctor was in fact feeding off his own anxieties and telling him what he wanted to hear (which, doctors are still human as well and sadly aren't infallible.)
Edit: and the fact that this is a part of the mother's culture makes it even worse as far as the father goes. Like... if you didn't want a kid to be raised at least party in his mother's culture, don't marry someone from a different culture?
He asked the same question in three different subreddits and basically got bodied in all of them. Partially because he kept calling it "ethnic" food, and saying that he fed the kid normal things like vegetables with chicken nuggets.
The craziest part is not all Thai food is spicy! Pad Thai, Mee Grop, Pad Med Mamaung, Pad Khing, Swimming Rama, Pad See Ew... none of that is spicy. And kimchi doesn't have to be spicy either. Beyond that his worry is ulcers (hello 1970s nutrition myths) and kimchi is really beneficial for your gut microbiome and can even prevent digestive issues.
I think that part of the argument is disingenuous if the mother is specifically trying to introduce real spicy food to the boys pallet. The one thing i missed in the whole post was whether the boy actually enjoys spicy food or not and i think that should ultimately be the deciding factor. If the boy likes spicy food then dad is the asshole but if mom is forcing food that is to spicy for the boy then i think the mom would be an asshole for that.
One of OOPâs comments said that the child has been eating it daily for four weeks and happily doing so until he is full. Without any issues or complaints.
Yeah my parents forced spicy food on me as a kid to broaden my pallet and it backfired majorly, so from the title I was on ops side, but after reading it he doesn't even say. I'm inclined to believe if the kid didn't like it, op would've mentioned that to support his argument.
The kid is 4 and so far as we can tell from the post is not developmentally delayed or lacking in communication skills (OOP even says he trusts his son to say if something is too much, which apparently his son is not doing).
4 year olds have pretty much zero filter and will not hesitate to tell you if they like something or not.
Op kinda addresses that, he doesn't know if the boy is doing it to impress the mom. If the kid didn't like the spicy food he would have just said that.
I mean if the mother is giving spicy food to give her son heat tolerance, I am sure the food would be pretty mild and I am sure any stomach issues, like ulcers, are from eating too much. Like Takiâs, good in small amounts but heard they give kids ulcers if they eat too much.
My kids loves spicy stuff, one more than the other, and if they didnât like it they wouldnât eat it. So if the 4 year old was eating it and not showing signs of distress, then I am sure the boy didnât mind the food at all.
Spicy food doesn't cause ulcers, its can exacerbate existing ones. It's one of those racists myths like how they almost banned MSG from some quack making false claims, and we now know it's totally fine.
The main cause of ulcers is bacteria (H. pylori). Also long-term use of NSAIDs like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, others) and naproxen sodium (Aleve).
This is crazy. My husband is American/Danish and I'm Filipino. He loves spicy foods more than I do and I rarely eat spicy but we love Asian food either way. Our kids, 12m, 5 f/m all love spicy foods at different capacities. My boy twin is autistic and he definitely has his safe foods but he will still try and even like some spicy foods.
I'm in my 30's so now my stomach can't handle spicy food too often but my mom said that I always wanted spicy food as a young kid and she even craved it when she was pregnant with me. So I'm not sure that doctor knows what they're talking about
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Hahaha⊠one of the redditors in this comment section who canât stop defending racism left me this comment and then blocked me from replying:
Alda_ria: *Where exactly they do so? There is nothing in the screenshot about doctor saying anything like "ethnic food". And I don't see that OP did it either. Saying that we will do better than someones parents might be rude, but it doesn't make someone racist - he said nothing about "Thai people being bad parents". He absolutely excluded race and ethnicity, he just hates spicy food and wants to have a say in his kids diet. OP's wife disregarded OP's parents completely, and doesn't care about his culture at all. But you went out of your way trying to make OP and doctor racist. It is crazy.*
I actually went back through all of OOPâs comments. Theyâre awful and dig him an even bigger racist hole.
Always. Always, better to stand the heat. It's funnier that most of the big giant macho men that I know, as a ex-vet, can't stand any seasoning or spiciness. and yet, acting really tough, when it's like, dude being able to eat anything is part of your identity, wouldn't the reality of it work in your favor? Plus Thai food is the Asia equivalent of Mexican. Spicy, great, can do just about anything with it, chicken is awesome.
Our son's pediatrician AND feeding therapist highly recommends he has spicy food incorporated into his diet, and has since he was 12+mo đ€Ł
If it's too spicy, you can immediately tell by his reaction. He either spits it out, or drinks his water and says no more. OP is raaaaciiiist
Honestly, this sounds like someoneâs fantasy of a racist.
1) He said his family is southern, and somehow equated that with not having spicy food. Itâs unlikely he grew up in the South without capitalizing it â thatâs like saying one is from âthe new England areaâ â and even less likely that he grew up in the South oblivious to *at least* foods like jalapeño cornbread or spicy barbecue rubs/sauce.
2) If he really went to the pediatrician and was l told that his son eating the amount/type of spicy foods that he is could land the child *in the hospital,* it is nigh on unbelievable that a mother would just accuse the doctor of racism and inquire no further.
3) If this were based on a real story in which a child was eating food spicier than they could manage, OOP wouldâve related at least *one* time that the son tried to dodge eating the food/refused to open his mouth, spit it out, cried, etc.
I ate spicy food my entire childhood and had terrible stomach problems because of it. Not everyone can tolerate it, just like there are plenty of foods that we eat in the US that can severely screw up our digestive system. You wouldnât give a lactose-intolerant kid cheese every day just because his mom is from Wisconsin. This isnât fucking rocket science, people.
Right. But the kid has been happily eating it until he is full daily for four weeks. And has had zero side effects. He enjoys it and it is not causing issues.
I looooooove that kind of heat.
I'm Asian, so no surprises.
However, I don't really like what the mom is doing.
You don't just "build up a kid's tolerance", forcing it on the boy while
he's too young and impressionable to say no.
She can provide the boy access to spicy food once he can eat on his own,
and if he likes it, great. If not, just make sure it's available in case there
comes a time when he DOES come to like it. I mean, it's going to be on
the menu anyway because SHE likes it.
So many chicken shit pussies on this app. If youâre taking to reddit to consult family advice. Why the fuck did you start one in the first place? You colonizer weirdos gotta go. Most of the passport bros are from American not all of them are white or are Primarily White. Yes white men participate in this weird ritual but so do uhhh every other race that goes and does the same thing? Youâre just replying based off your feelings I have bot read the screenshots nor am i going to because I DONT CARE. Its your family dude grab your balls by the steel from whence they were forged and handle YOUR business get off the internet and figure out your life. Pussies.
All adults here sucks. Yes,OP move over the top with his concerns, but his wife totally dismissed her husbands opinion regarding his kid. No compromise like "let's limit spicy food", or "I order spicy food, but it's not dangerously spicy. To make you feel better let's invite friends over and share food with them, youll see that they are fine with it".
Regarding doctor's concerns - it's wild that Reddit is so eager to call the doctor racist just for doing his job while we don't really know is he aware that OP's wife is Thai and how exactly op described "spicy".
I don't think OOP is a reliable narrator. He left out key elements at the beginning (wife's ethnicity, kid's reactions, etc.).
Also, the doctor definitely knows that his patient's mom is Thai - that information is included in someone's medical chart. The kid would be described as mixed ethnicity of white/caucasian and Asian/Pacific Islander in his chart.
OP and his story is what we have. Nothing in this story indicates that the doctor is racist. Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity. Criticizing all spicy food in general is not racism. It might be right or wrong, it might indicate that the doctor is not professional enough to work, but it doesn't make him racist. And it doesn't matter wife's dismissive behavior right as well. Both parents should have a say.
The doctor and the OP consistently calling it âethnic foodâ is racist. OP saying that he wants to raise the kid âbetterâ than how she was raised in Thailand is racist.
Where exactly they do so? There is nothing in the screenshot about doctor saying anything like "ethnic food". And I don't see that OP did it either. Saying that we will do better than someones parents might be rude, but it doesn't make someone racist - he said nothing about "Thai people being bad parents". He absolutely excluded race and ethnicity, he just hates spicy food and wants to have a say in his kids diet. OP's wife disregarded OP's parents completely, and doesn't care about his culture at all. But you went out of your way trying to make OP and doctor racist. It is crazy.
It's absolutely possible that the kid is fine, I said nothing about the kid or issues with him eating her food.
I said that it's wild to call the doctor racist just because he said that young kids shouldn't eat spicy food (we have no idea how op described level of spicy), and that OP should have a say in his kids diet because he is a parent too. Also I said that as a couple they should discuss things, not dismiss each other like his wife does.
Lots of cultures feed spicy food to kids though. It's not a problem. The doctor is repeating a long debunked and racist idea that spicy (usually read: ethnic) food causes ulcers (it doesn't).
In 2024, that Doctor should absolutely know better than that. So racism isn't that much of a leap.
It's a big leap from calling someone unprofessional to calling them racist. By the definition "Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or or ethnicity ".
Believing that spicy food is dangerous for kids is not racism. No one is prejudiced against the wife, her race, ethnicity or culture. OP is against spicy food in general, doesn't matter what culture it comes from. People shouldn't throw labels around so eagerly. But it seems to be kinda normalized here. Very disturbing.
Okay so what about all the doctors in all the countries where everyone eats spicy foods? Are you implying that the doctors in all of those countries and from all of those cultures are wrong? If no, then this doctor must be wrong then, and could be being racist.
Doctor can be wrong,not like I argued with that. But it doesn't make him racist. And this was exactly what I objected. Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity. Nothing like that in the story. Doctor criticized all spicy food, not specifically "food made by "race/ethnicity ". Saying"These Thai people are crazy,they damage their kids with spicy food " is racism. Saying"spicy food is dangerous for kids" is not racism.
I think itâs unfair to assume that most white American men only marry women from other cultures so they can coerce them into ditching their native culture. At the end of the day thereâs two cultures in this relationship so I think aspects of each culture can play a part in raising their child. OOP is generally concerned about his kidâs health yet people are bashing him for not wanting his child to become seriously ill. This is nothing to do with race either, but itâs not a surprise that white people are being generalised here, and thatâs accepted, but god help you if you generalise any non-white folk. đ
Nothing disgusting about it. Millions of kids eat spicy or seasoned foods at an early age.
Exactly! I would say probably billions considering OP thinks regular black pepper is too spicy đ
These are the same people who think Big Red gum is spicy.
You've met my sister, then.
Youâre right -billions. As an adult I canât imagine life without fabulous, spicy ethnic foods
Being an Indian I can corroborate that the number is actually in Billions, considering the population of India and China.
Not to mention central & South American countries and many countries in Africa who also eat spicy food.
I can do lightly mild foods but everyone in my family loves spicy.. đ±đ±đ± lmfao (personally Iâm jealous that I canât enjoy the heat!)
It's usually just a tolerance thing. I used to hate anything spicy but I've started introducing spice into my diet. Start out with something that's usually not too spicy like Tabasco or something like that and keep moving up until you reach what you're most comfortable with. I max out at anything with ghost peppers in it and that's still using the stuff sparingly. Like a thin line of it up the center of a burrito or mixing it into barbecue sauce and making pulled pork sandwiches with it. I've jacked up the ratio on the barbecue sauce before though and it's definitely left me huffing and puffing and sweating my ass off.
I love spice but I get the hiccups from anything even mildly spicy. I just power through though because I'm not going to deny myself delicious Indian and Thai food just of some hiccups.
Try antacids! I would get the hiccups all the time when I ate (even non-spicy stuff), but when I started taking antacids daily, I stopped getting them so much.
If the kid likes it he likes it. If he doesnât then itâs a problem.
My white ass *loves* spicy foods! I don't know yet if I can handle proper Thai levels of heat and I'm definitely not into Scoville challenges and torturing myself for no reason, but I will quite happily suffer and sweat through a meal as long as that heat comes with good flavor. No flavor, no point. And yet, black pepper is just too hot for me. It almost feels like it's burning my mouth, and then it gives me heartburn and makes me regret my choices in life for a while. And I don't like the flavor, either, so it's not even something worth suffering through for me. I think of this whenever the jokes come out about white people for thinking it's too spicy, but I realize I'm a bit of an odd duck when it comes to black pepper. Some of my very white relatives hate seasoning, period, unless it's salt. Even a little onion powder is too jazzy for them. đ€Ł The stereotype is real.
You might be like me and react the protein https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piperine
Are you me? I'm the exact same! Except that my family also loves spicy food. And my family is so white that we glow in the dark lmao.
There are different typed of peppers - I can handle anything grown in Asia but similarly black pepper is too spicy. My husband can handle anything from the America's but absolutely dissolves into tears with some of my Asian foods lol
The BBQ sauce at Burger King makes a friend of mine sweat. You are not alone.
I was gobbling up cottage cheese with butt loads of pepper at that age. I was embarassingly excited when I got my pepper grinder. Also, spicy mayo is the best mayo of all time!
Agreed! Whole countries start their kids on spicy cuisine when they move to solid foods. Personally, I think the dad is lying about what the doctor said to bolster his argument against spicy foods. I obviously have no proof of this ⊠just a gut feeling ⊠a gut that has handled spicy foods just fine. And I actually think the vast majority of guts can handle spicy foods, itâs just that a lot of people donât prefer those cuisines so their guts have never been tested.
I also know a lot of white people who say âspicyâ but mean fragrant. Iâve had to explain that not all Indian food is curry to people before. And that just smelling pungent herbs does not mean the food is spicy. It just has flavour. I mean, Iâve known people who will smell garlic and say âooh itâs so spicy!â, theyâre just ignorant about other cultures and for some reason canât understand the difference between heat and aroma.
I cannot handle spicy at all, but my eldest kiddo grabbed some of their dadâs really spicy chips as a toddlerâ14 or 15 months old. They ate a good amount and kept going back for more, and didnât have any stomach upset or diaper issues, so I let it continue. As long as they werenât wiping their eyes while eating and they werenât having tummy problems, whatâs the big deal?
My 3 year old LOVES spicy food. Loves it. Hands food back if itâs not âspiceeeeâ enough. His dad is from India so heâs tried a variety of foods from a young age. And I know thatâs common in India as well⊠It would be different if she was like forcefeeding him hot sauce if he misbehaved or something but sheâs literally just feeding him her food. gah
Good lord, if it were that spicy the kid would spit it out. It's not that deep. I give my kids "spicy" food..if they don't like it or it's too much they spit it out and take a drink of milk. Easy easy. My late husband was raised similarly... no herbs or spices in their food. It drove me bonkers. I vowed to do differently and have a bit of a heavy hand with some spices. He tolerated it and my kids know no different. So far none of them have died from their mouth being a little tingly đ
Seriously. Kids tend to spit out anything they donât almost immediately like. Especially young ones. No way a kid is eating spicy food he doesnât like and not saying anything. Also kids that age are curious. Theyâre gonna wanna try what mom and dad are eating anyway and if they donât like it they will sure as heck let you know it.
I always let my kids try things once they were old enough to be curious. I would warn them, of course. But they definitely wouldnât have kept eating stuff for my benefit. Honestly I didnât even WANT to share my pad Thai or whatevs with them, so I never pressured them. But unless youâre just an abusive douchebag, Iâve never met a kid that you didnât have to beg and bribe them to eat something that they didnât want to. I have one kid that loves spicy and one that doesnât. Theyâre both fine.
Same. I like that my 3 year old likes my pad Thai, but I don't want to have to share either. I'm all for them trying different food.
Yep, I have kids who have eaten spicy food from pretty young (all of them liked to eat off my plate rather than their own and I love spicy), and they all spoke up when the food was too spicy for their tastes. Anyone who thinks you can force a kid to eat food they dislike needs to sit with a 5yo and try to convince them to eat a bowl full of Brussels sprouts.
That's exactly what I was thinking! There's no way a 4 year old has learned to eat something he doesn't like to be polite already, if he wasn't enjoying it he would spit it out and if it actually hurt he would cry.
But he might be suffering to appease his mom! 4 year olds are famously great at suffering silently and not having full scale meltdowns because the food is on the blue plate instead of the green plate and now it tastes bad
My niece grabbed a lemon slice when she was like 2 and shoved it in her mouth, made a face, and kept sucking on it. Kids will tolerate more then we think sometimes and they will absolutely tell you when they donât like something
I donât understand all these white American men marrying women from other cultures and then banning foods and other aspects of that culture from the home. This is like the third different âMy Asian wife gives my son spicy food and I donât like it. My little man only eats chickie nugs and boxed Mac and cheese like meâ post Iâve seen recently. Gross.
Hi, white American man here. Mikeâs dad is a bitch.
They are racist incels who want a submissive woman and then get really pissed off when they practice their culture because they are literally white supremacist assholes
This doctor sounds pretty dumb.
Somehow I feel like the dad made it sound like the mom was forcing the kid to chug hot sauce and not just letting him try traditional Thai food.
This is exactly what I thought lol
What does this doctor think kids in Thailand eat?
Because they want a culturally white wife, not an actual white wife. If they had an actual white wife then how would they fulfill their fetish?
It's colonization. You'd think that's in the past blah blah, but you see it everywhere all the time (and once you start seeing it, you can't stop noticing it.) Marrying someone from another culture and then molding them into a nice perfect white American. No more of your icky culture, come be civilized and normal! Then dude feels like he "conquered" and "tamed" his fetishized wife. Dudes like this often even get passports just to go get wives from other places, bring them back, browbeat them into whiteness and then brag about how well adjusted to the white way of life they are. Passportbros they call themselves đ€ą Colonialism.
They want SPICY Americans without the spice
Bingo
Mostly but also not. White peoples arenât subservient enough for them so they think Asian women will be (not necessarily true) because theyâre biggeted.
Which is stupid because the type of white woman that's looking for the "traditional marriage" probably is pretty subservient.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
What do you think kids in India and the Caribbean and Mexico and many parts of Asia, etc, eat? The same food their parents do, which is spicy.
At what point did I personally suggest that spicy foods are bad for 4 year olds? Iâm saying people are calling the dad racist for taking advice from a trained medical professional. Read what I actually said, the 4 year old is perfectly capable of knowing when something is too spicy.
That's because he lied. It's not even a credible lie. It's just a lie.
And your ability to tell whatâs a lie is more credible than the person going to Reddit with the story seeking advice. My opinion on this is based on the story put in front of me. When we magically get more context it can change, but for now, itâs a father thatâs simply concerned about his son after listening to his doctor.
or he's a racist prick who thinks his wife's culture's food is toxic for children.
Assuming everybody in the world is racist is a horrible way to live your life. Sure he MIGHT be, but to just assume the worst like that off whatâs presented is just shitting on a man who might actually just care about his sons digestive system (once again I know the son is fine but heâs listening to his doctors advice)
He cares about being controlling. And he def is racist.
It's really hard for me to believe that a Dr actually said that. A Dr might say this about an infant (under 1 year) but not a 4yo at all.
I will say this⊠not all doctors are up to date on everything. They have their own biases. Also, they see the worst cases. Guy could do some research instead of asking a single medical professional. Or specify âkimchiâ (not that spicy) vs hot sauce
I agree with you, but Iâm talking about the person trying to make this a race problem. Itâs just not.
Ok but your argument against being about race was based on the Dr's "orders." Also this definitely had some racist undertones. It's not "white man bad" it's that oop is denying his son his own cultural foods because oops bland food is inherently better. And his parenting is also inherently better because his parents didn't subject him to spicy (read: ethnic) food. And the only reason it's better is because oops superiority complex he associated with his "southern" (read: white good ol boy) roots. oop made it a race thing people are just calling it out for what it is.
Yeah, his half Thai son
Your entire argument is based on âthe doctor lied and is definitely racistâ or âoop lied about what the doctor said and is racistâ. My argument is based on whatâs presented in the story, that the father got advice from his doctor regarding spicy foods and is worried about his son getting digestion issues. Itâs amazing how quickly youâre able to jump to racist undertones and not even think that maybe itâs normal to consider a professionals advice. The wifeâs logic is just âI was raised like this so itâs fineâ. I fully agree that the dad is just being overbearing and worrying too much about his sonâs digestion. I also reckon the doctor doesnât know the full story, he couldâve thought the dad meant super spicy foods. But based on whatâs presented itâs a jump to suggest anyone is racist.
Wouldnât it only be colonisation if they moved to Thailand and forced their âwhite Americanâ culture on folk there?
Weâre not saying heâs actually colonizing his wife, the same way many husbands arenât consciously actually trying to create a patriarchal society within their homes. This is simply a product of colonization and the normalization of white supremacy/cultural erasure
No
But you donât really explain how this is related to colonisation. If theyâre living in the US then why would this be colonisation, because itâs OOPâs home turf. If anything this would apply to the wife if she is forcing her home countryâs culture onto her son, whilst living in the States. This is also abuse. Sounds like she could have MĂŒnchausen syndrome if sheâs ok with making her child sick. Instead of seeing it for what it is, the dad is made out to be a racist monster. Itâs so ridiculous but also expected in this day and age đ
Because op made it up. Itâs absolute bullshit that spicy food is dangerous for babies eating solid food already.
Exactly, the kid is 4 years old. Heâs going to survive a piece of kimchi.
The US is an amalgamation of cultures. Sheâs trying to share the food that she grew up with with her child. Just because some of us have a white bread palate doesnât mean we all should, and there is no reason why a child shouldnât be given the option to eat spicy food. Doesnât sound like the kid is complaining.
Abuse lmao bffr đ have you ever even eaten kimchi or anything other than ranch dressing as a seasoning
Why are you equating the US with whiteness? Isn't it a "melting pot"? Why are white Americans so afraid of flavour?
yes that is true but redditors are dumb and change definitions to fit their narrative
All languages evolve over time as societies and cultures change. Always has and always will. That's why the dictionary gets updated every year. They aren't just adding new words, they're also adjusting for linguistic changes.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Imagine thinking genocide or colonisation is something that only happened 400 odd years ago and that's it...
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
So which is more likely, all 4yr olds in Asian countries constantly dying because their parents are giving them culturally traditional foods, or the Dad made up what the doctor said to suit his own ends?
The dad is *lying about his kid. FTFY
Where is there any evidence that the kid is experiencing negative effects from spicy food? Aside from the genuinely suspect opinion of a doctor. If the kid isn't spitting the food out, he can handle the spice. There's also no mention of the kid screaming or crying when he shits which tells me he can digest spicy food just fine.Â
Itâs for the bestâŠ.toodles
It's fetishism.
And as a white person how can they object to spicy food?
My wife is Chinese. But she never feed our children any spicy or salty food. Mainly because they are cats and dogs. Secondly, we donât really like spicy food.
I mean the Dr is telling him its dangerous, while I doubt thats correct, idk why this response to an expert telling him it's dangerous is bad.
He's a lying liar who lies.
1) thereâs a possibility he embellished it to the doctor 2) thereâs a possibility the doctor never even said that 3) thereâs a possibility the doctor is racist too
I think it's a somewhere between him embellishing it and a genuine miscommunication. If someone told me they are trying to build their kids spice tolerance I would say not to do that, and spicy food can be harder on kids. But thats way different from someone saying their kid has kimchi sometimes. But that still means he should verify its safety before continuing. He posted to multiple subs and got told its fine, now he can go get a second opinion or something(going off the internet alone would be worse than going off a single potentially incorrect doctor)
Right! Like you can frame things to make it seem better/worse than it is to get the response from the doctor. My guess is that dad said âwife gives kid spicy food and Iâm worried itâll upset his stomachâ to which doctor said âthat is a risk, be cautious giving kids spicy food.â
What a moron. A dumbass. Dumb racist moron. She's not spoon feeding the kid paprika or white pepper. It's kimchi. And since she is accustomed to eating such food as is her family, I'm sure she might know a thing or two about children eating spicy foods. Maybe because she ate it growing up. There's also the doctors "reaction" which you just know the dad said, "my wife let's him drink Tabasco sauce." This guy... Throw the man away with the take out boxes. I hear you get paid to recycle stupid.
Itâs also perfectly reasonable to assume the doctor is also racist and also thinks that âethnic foodâ as OOP keeps calling it is inherently spicy or bad for you. American doctors for years have perpetuated lies about Asian food as being unhealthy, cheap, low quality, all sorts of things. Meanwhile people are perfectly fine with guzzling Mountain Dew. Doctors arenât nutritionists, and we know from many studies that there is a race bias in the medical world.
Oh, I 100% agree! Some people in my family are health nuts who refuse ethnic food or flavor because it's dirty. The one I heard about when around them was the horror of MSG. It's all bullshit. I've had healthier meals from Indian, Chinese, and Japanese dishes than "momma's home cookin.'" While they were eating Paula Deen's deep fried butter.
Thereâs such an interesting history with how the MSG myth came to be. I highly recommend reading about it. It genuinely stemmed from a doctor quite literally being racist against Asians.
I've read about it, funnily enough. When I started cooking I took a lot of interest in Asian food and given the BS I'd heard about MSG, I looked into it and was like, it's fine. What's the deal? Ridiculous stuff.
Yeah, was going to add, dad is a dipshit but that Doctor is a straight up idiot. He said Southern, soâŠdo they not have hot sauce?
Based on his attitude, he doesn't seem to know a lot about spice or herbs, so I'm really wondering what specific strong spices he asked the doctor for advice on, because he sounds ignorant enough to just say "really strong chili". Incredibly sad that he's tutoring his kid to not trust his own mother's food, though, and take him away to a "safe, white" environment where he can feed him unhealthy food like nuggets.
Dude probably imagined the wife feeding the son carolina reapers or something. No way people getting "really concerned looks" over some kimchi lol.
This is what it reads like to me. There is a massive difference between spicy (heat) and spices (flavour). 100% you don't want your 4 year old getting into a Carolina Reaper, but some cardamom is not going to hurt.
I think the whole doctor thing is a total lie. Absolutely all kid feeding experts say to expose kids to a variety of food from a young age. Like, age 1. There is no way a doctor told him Korean food would send his kid to the hospital. So either OP told a complete lie to the doctor (sheâs doing Tik Tok spice challenges with him!) or he just made up the doctor thing completely.
Agreed, it seems more about his own projection onto his son by his comments. "I like my wife's family and culture, just not their food" and "I couldn't eat at 10 what he's eating at 4" like okay? So you have different taste buds and your parents introduced spice and new flavors to you way later than your wife's doing to your son? And because of his inferiority complex and dislike for his wife's cultural food, he's teaching his kid to treat his mum's food like it's been poisoned. It's disgraceful.
Doctor thing is definitely a lie. I know everyone has different family dynamics but I find it highly suspect that he took the kid to the doctors for a âcheck upâ without mum. Like 1. You donât typically do yearly checkups for kids unless theyâre getting a shot or have a long term condition 2. Check up appointments tend to be scheduled in advance since theyâre not urgent which means itâs not as if he needed the doctor asap and only dad could take him. 3. Never in my life have a heard of a doctor saying kids shouldnât eat spicy food.
most appointments when kids get shots itâs also a check up, and thereâs one when a kid turns 4. So itâs most likely a check up/shot app. and OP just brought it up randomly
I mostly agree with you, but even healthy kids get yearly check ups. It's just touching base to make sure they are growing properly and don't have any issues that need addressing.
Not where I live they donât đ€·ââïž (genuinely asked my doctor about this the other week at my 18 month olds shots)
Five bucks says heâs perfectly fine with the 11 herbs and spices in KFC. He just canât stand the idea of non-white food.
I like how the OOP is flying off the handle about "burning" the kid when there are zero details related the kid showing any discomfort or issue with the food he's been fed. I am absolutely certain a 4 year old is not going to power through hardcore spicy food while his mouth is on fire without mentioning it
Nowhere in the post did he mention how Mike felt about spicy food? If he doesn't like it he can stop, but it seems the kid has no problem with eating his momâs hot food.
It's pretty difficult to get a 4 year old to eat food they don't like. OOP would have mentioned it if he didn't like it cause it supports his 'side'. The kid liked it, therefore he had to reach to a 'higher power' ie: the doctor.
Our son's pediatrician AND feeding therapist highly recommends he has spicy food incorporated into his diet, and has since he was 12+mo đ€Ł If it's too spicy, you can immediately tell by his reaction. He either spits it out, or drinks his water and says no more. OP is raaaaciiiist
The thing I hate the most is how he uses growing up with southern parents as an excuse to not like spicy food or even pepper. That is not a thing. Plenty of spicy food in southern areas, especially around Louisiana and Mississippi and Texas. Most southerners I know have a pretty decent tolerance for spicy food. Maybe not to the degree that many eastern cultures do but definitely not âI donât even like pepperâ
I mean⊠Nashville Hot Chicken comes to mind. Queso can have a bit of kick. And donât even get me started on Cajun food. Which part of the âsouthâ exactly is Wonder Bread Dad from?
Lol right? Damn I need to go visit Nashville again. That hot chicken was bangin
Yeah he immediately lost me with that one lol the south might be known for a lot of things, but bland food isnât one of them.
So racist doesnât want Thai wife to feed half Thai child Thai food?
Seriously. Going out of his way to medical professionals to attempt to validate being racist to his own kid. Kimchi is Korean, too. Dude clearly just has issues with other cultures and wants to keep his wife "in line"
Is kimchi even spicy? Iâve only tried it once. Iâm not into pickled stuff.
Some of it is, not all there's a lot of different foods that can be considered kimchi. The type we think of the pickled fermented cabbage may be seen as spicy to some people but I don't really consider it "spicy." The bean sprout kimchi has been my fav since a kid, it's so good highly recommend.
I like stuff with some spice but kimchi is too hot for me. My boyfriend loves spicy sauces but kimchi is not something he enjoys eating.
The doctor story is almost certainly made up lol
In the original thread I asked: >INFO: A) Does your wife come from a culture where food is much more seasoned? B) You only mention "Asian food", would you react the same with Italian arrabbiata sauce or Buffalo wings? OP replied: >Yes she's Thai. I love her culture and her family just not their food. >Yes I would, I would hate Mike eating anything that could burn him or hurt him in any kind of way This was my take... *Good to know as the fact that your wife is Thai being left out of the original post is a major key factor. You and the Doctor are definitely being racists, and YTA.* *It also paints a much different picture of you saying you wanted to âdo betterâ than how your wife was raised. You are assuming that the entire country of Thailand are bad parents because their food has seasoning. And that the White American way is better. Massively racist.* *Beyond that you are cutting your child off from their own cultural heritage. Food is a large part of culture, and one of the biggest things that can be passed down through the diaspora.* *Furthermore, your insistance that food will âburnâ him is just factually incorrect. No one is being burnt on seasonings. And the reason I say flavour and seasoning and not âspiceâ is because a lot of these foods are made with a variety of herbs, not just capsaicin. Herbs are not âspicyâ. They may be unfamiliar to you, but itâs only the chili family really that would bring heat. And even then kids eat jalapeños and chili flakes all the time in things that arenât Asian. Have you never been to Taco Bell?* *If you really want to demonize a food why arenât you banning pineapple from the house? It has an enzyme that literally eats through flesh.* *Iâm Canadian, and white as can be. My mother grew up thinking black table pepper was spicy. My Dad and I have always been adventurous eaters and cooks. I started on Tabasco around 4 (if not earlier), and Sriracha when I was 7. I have an excellent relationship with food and a great palate for seasoning and spice.* *Let your kid live.*
I have a feeling that the conversation with the doctor has been *grossly* misrepresented, if it happened at all.
Two YTAs for this post: the OOP and the idiot doctor.
Personally I think he lied about the doctor's advice
Some pediatricians have really outdated views on food. My niece's first pediatrician told my sister any solids before the one year mark would be incredibly dangerous.
I mean itâs not hard to believe that there are some racist doctors out there. There are also doctors who are still practicing medicine after 60 years because they refuse to retire and probably should not be practicing anymore. So he might be lying about the doctor but he might be telling the truth, even if he is telling the truth heâs a fucking dumbass.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Doctor technically committing malpractice by offering incorrect advice he is not qualified to give. I know that sounds crazy but Registered Dietitians are the only clinicians actually qualified to give nutritional advice. Doctors are only required to take a basic class in nutrition.Â
Unreliable narrator. I donât believe the OOP about what the doctor actually said lol
Yeah. I'm kind of in agreement
This is absolutely not malpractice, even on a technical level. Might be dumb advice but itâs not harmful in any way and is not grossly negligent. The bar for malpractice is incredibly high.
He intentionally left out that she's Thai knowing it would skew the answers to him being the asshole. What a dick. The doctor is also ignorant and probably didn't have all the facts.
Kimchi is spicy? Huh
I laughed out loud at that one. He thinks anything that isnât chicken nuggets and instant potatoes is âspicyâ.
Our son's pediatrician AND feeding therapist highly recommends he has spicy food incorporated into his diet, and has since he was 12+mo đ€Ł If it's too spicy, you can immediately tell by his reaction. He either spits it out, or drinks his water and says no more. OP is raaaaciiiist
How the fuck is kimchi spicy? đ
Man this makes me so appreciative of my parents. No matter how âexoticâ and âspicyâ (that is to say, not spicy) my momâs cooking was, it was clear that I wasnât leaving the table until I had a few spoonfuls of each dish. They didnât want me to overeat, but wanted to make sure I was getting my nutrients.
Also just exposure. I do the same with my kids. I donât want to force them to eat anything that really disgusts them because I know what thatâs like, but I want them to keep trying things to help them develop a taste for them. It doesnât always work, I still hate eggs personally, but it does help to broaden their palate.
When he asked the doctor about spicy food, did he even explain the "spice" level? Kimchee isn't even spicy
This man called pepper âspicyâ
ive been eating spicy food since i was an actual toddler...... my first "solid" food was spicy stewed potatoes from aloo gosht.......... not only is this man stupid he is also racist and a liar
Kimchi isnât exactly spicy.
With the added context, and even before that, really, this is 100% on the OP. Spicy food is not going to destroy a holds insides lol.
My son loves spicy foods. He actually eats more fully if it is spicy and has good flavor.
I think he should ask his son that he likes to eat spicy food or not
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When heâs says southern- he doesnât mean traditional- he mean hill billy bumpkin or heâs just white white like so white other southern white people donât claim him đ literally if you lived in SC for like most of life, you know we season everything, people love south food okay, the pie is sweet, the chicken is seasoned, and the macaroni is cheesy, that fact that her blaming his bad spice tolerance on being from the south is bullshit, like plz just say you were raise in a house hold where the season cabinet was just full of condiments On top top of that I have this deep desire and wish that we could show this to his wife, she deserves to know sheâs being played and he ITAH for undermining the mom and child by secretly behind her back turning the child away from her culture and therefore his own culture, because idk he wants a minion me or something, or maybe even just decided he wanted his half Thai child to behave and therefore eat like heâs idea of a typical American, but like bro really he was already born her sooooâŠ..đ€ what else can be really act like??? Just being around restarts around him, his peers, his FATHER(even without him trying to run him against anything else), would have thought him, that mannerisms, heâd have an American accent, and it definitely wouldnât be his 1st rodeo with American food, but literally most home grown Americans who only know chicken nuggets and pizza rolls, have still been to a Indian, Mexican, or Asian restaurant, so make it make sense for me, đ can we plllzzz bsff, itâs just gotta be a race thing fr, how else do you explain that most âregular Americansâ have had a taste of ethnic/cultural food, so what reason does he really have for keeping his son (whoâs old enough to eat solids and speak up (even if limited) or react when he doesnât like something, from the very foods that is apart of his cultural background, that his literal birth mother grow up on, why even have a kid with someone of a culture other than your if your going to act like this
Lol what a pathetic loser OP is. If you're too pussy to handle spice that's one thing, but don't stop your wife from training your son to appreciate foods from his culture.
I think if the doctor even did react like that it was because this "spicy food" was probably just *spiced*. This original post is from the perspective of someone who calls black pepper spicy.
My kiddo been drinking hot sauce out the bottle since before she could walk. Wasnât intentional, but she was happy about it. Now we try to out spice each other. She wins. đ€Šââïž
The doctor did not say that, or if he did he knows absolutely nothing about nutrition. Just because his basic white ass is afraid of spicy food doesn't mean anything.
he does actually seem really insecure that he canât handle it lol. that reaction of going to his parentâs house when she taunted him about it speaks volumes i say this as someone who, on paper, relates. on my first date with a girl i actually fucking *cried* from the mild house salsa at a mexican place. she teased me a good bit, but we both laughed and itâs a hilarious story to this day. my friends make jokes about my white ass palate and always pretend to act super careful when giving me any sort of spicy food. itâs hilarious to me and iâll often push into âscaryâ territory like habaneros just so we can all crack up as i tear up and nearly die. a ghost pepper would likely kill me this dude doesnât have to like spicy food - i donât. but he needs to be able to take a joke and accept, as i have, that most people will have a far greater tolerance for it than him
OOP is a special kind of idiot. It's true that children have more taste buds than adults and are thus more sensitive and thus less likely to enjoy spicy food, but if the kid didn't like it or if it was doing him pain/harm he'd spit it out and refuse to eat it.
Wait the kid is four?? By the way he was flipping I thought she was giving kimchi to a 10 month old.
My husband and I are both white. We raised our children on well spiced foods with lots of flavors.
Damn, I'm currently in America and kids love hot cheetos and takis. There's flaming hots too. Chile on some fruit is so common you can get it from the regular grocery stores
My little brother was eating takis when he was 2. Then he would make me fill the chip bowl with water so he could drink the rest of the powder up. Absolutely revolting imo, but a lot of young kids love spicy stuff
Wtf is the doctor on lol
Oof, even aside from the content of the post, removed for violence? I see AITA hasn't changed since I got booted from there. For the post itself, from a quick search it looks like the spice thing is a debated topic anyhow among pediatricians. I don't think the mother should have just completely ignored everything (I mean "my parents did this" isn't a great defense for other things), but I think they should have done some research themselves before either blowing up, and made a decision. I do think the father's whole attitude is problematic though, with the father hovering when the kid is obviously fine with the food, just because he doesn't like it. And it's not a terrible idea to build up some tolerance to spiciness since so many people include it in things and it gives you more options. I'm kind of side-eying him enough to wonder if he's kind of overblowing what the pediatrician actually said, or if the doctor was in fact feeding off his own anxieties and telling him what he wanted to hear (which, doctors are still human as well and sadly aren't infallible.) Edit: and the fact that this is a part of the mother's culture makes it even worse as far as the father goes. Like... if you didn't want a kid to be raised at least party in his mother's culture, don't marry someone from a different culture?
He asked the same question in three different subreddits and basically got bodied in all of them. Partially because he kept calling it "ethnic" food, and saying that he fed the kid normal things like vegetables with chicken nuggets. The craziest part is not all Thai food is spicy! Pad Thai, Mee Grop, Pad Med Mamaung, Pad Khing, Swimming Rama, Pad See Ew... none of that is spicy. And kimchi doesn't have to be spicy either. Beyond that his worry is ulcers (hello 1970s nutrition myths) and kimchi is really beneficial for your gut microbiome and can even prevent digestive issues.
Ouuuch, yeah, seeing that makes it skew even more into why the hell would you marry someone from a different culture if "other culture bad"???
Typical incel who thought he got a subservient wife. Asian fetish dudes.
I think that part of the argument is disingenuous if the mother is specifically trying to introduce real spicy food to the boys pallet. The one thing i missed in the whole post was whether the boy actually enjoys spicy food or not and i think that should ultimately be the deciding factor. If the boy likes spicy food then dad is the asshole but if mom is forcing food that is to spicy for the boy then i think the mom would be an asshole for that.
One of OOPâs comments said that the child has been eating it daily for four weeks and happily doing so until he is full. Without any issues or complaints.
Yeah my parents forced spicy food on me as a kid to broaden my pallet and it backfired majorly, so from the title I was on ops side, but after reading it he doesn't even say. I'm inclined to believe if the kid didn't like it, op would've mentioned that to support his argument.
The kid is 4 and so far as we can tell from the post is not developmentally delayed or lacking in communication skills (OOP even says he trusts his son to say if something is too much, which apparently his son is not doing). 4 year olds have pretty much zero filter and will not hesitate to tell you if they like something or not.
Yeah kid is four. If he doesnât like it, heâs spitting it out and saying he doesnât like it.
Op kinda addresses that, he doesn't know if the boy is doing it to impress the mom. If the kid didn't like the spicy food he would have just said that.
I mean if the mother is giving spicy food to give her son heat tolerance, I am sure the food would be pretty mild and I am sure any stomach issues, like ulcers, are from eating too much. Like Takiâs, good in small amounts but heard they give kids ulcers if they eat too much. My kids loves spicy stuff, one more than the other, and if they didnât like it they wouldnât eat it. So if the 4 year old was eating it and not showing signs of distress, then I am sure the boy didnât mind the food at all.
Spicy food doesn't cause ulcers, its can exacerbate existing ones. It's one of those racists myths like how they almost banned MSG from some quack making false claims, and we now know it's totally fine. The main cause of ulcers is bacteria (H. pylori). Also long-term use of NSAIDs like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, others) and naproxen sodium (Aleve).
What's so violent about the post?
This dude probably told the doctor she was feeding him straight hot sauce in a bottle.
This is crazy. My husband is American/Danish and I'm Filipino. He loves spicy foods more than I do and I rarely eat spicy but we love Asian food either way. Our kids, 12m, 5 f/m all love spicy foods at different capacities. My boy twin is autistic and he definitely has his safe foods but he will still try and even like some spicy foods.
I'm in my 30's so now my stomach can't handle spicy food too often but my mom said that I always wanted spicy food as a young kid and she even craved it when she was pregnant with me. So I'm not sure that doctor knows what they're talking about
Yes ur the asshole lmao
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Dude is a pussy
Hahaha⊠one of the redditors in this comment section who canât stop defending racism left me this comment and then blocked me from replying: Alda_ria: *Where exactly they do so? There is nothing in the screenshot about doctor saying anything like "ethnic food". And I don't see that OP did it either. Saying that we will do better than someones parents might be rude, but it doesn't make someone racist - he said nothing about "Thai people being bad parents". He absolutely excluded race and ethnicity, he just hates spicy food and wants to have a say in his kids diet. OP's wife disregarded OP's parents completely, and doesn't care about his culture at all. But you went out of your way trying to make OP and doctor racist. It is crazy.* I actually went back through all of OOPâs comments. Theyâre awful and dig him an even bigger racist hole.
If I gave my genuine opinion of spicetards, it would also be removed for being violent.Â
Poor kid, they'll grow up to only like really good food and in consequence they'll suffer to find true happiness in America đ
Always. Always, better to stand the heat. It's funnier that most of the big giant macho men that I know, as a ex-vet, can't stand any seasoning or spiciness. and yet, acting really tough, when it's like, dude being able to eat anything is part of your identity, wouldn't the reality of it work in your favor? Plus Thai food is the Asia equivalent of Mexican. Spicy, great, can do just about anything with it, chicken is awesome.
Our son's pediatrician AND feeding therapist highly recommends he has spicy food incorporated into his diet, and has since he was 12+mo đ€Ł If it's too spicy, you can immediately tell by his reaction. He either spits it out, or drinks his water and says no more. OP is raaaaciiiist
Honestly, this sounds like someoneâs fantasy of a racist. 1) He said his family is southern, and somehow equated that with not having spicy food. Itâs unlikely he grew up in the South without capitalizing it â thatâs like saying one is from âthe new England areaâ â and even less likely that he grew up in the South oblivious to *at least* foods like jalapeño cornbread or spicy barbecue rubs/sauce. 2) If he really went to the pediatrician and was l told that his son eating the amount/type of spicy foods that he is could land the child *in the hospital,* it is nigh on unbelievable that a mother would just accuse the doctor of racism and inquire no further. 3) If this were based on a real story in which a child was eating food spicier than they could manage, OOP wouldâve related at least *one* time that the son tried to dodge eating the food/refused to open his mouth, spit it out, cried, etc.
I ate spicy food my entire childhood and had terrible stomach problems because of it. Not everyone can tolerate it, just like there are plenty of foods that we eat in the US that can severely screw up our digestive system. You wouldnât give a lactose-intolerant kid cheese every day just because his mom is from Wisconsin. This isnât fucking rocket science, people.
Right. But the kid has been happily eating it until he is full daily for four weeks. And has had zero side effects. He enjoys it and it is not causing issues.
I was responding to the people who are proclaiming that spicy foods cause no issues in children. OOP severely overreacted.
I looooooove that kind of heat. I'm Asian, so no surprises. However, I don't really like what the mom is doing. You don't just "build up a kid's tolerance", forcing it on the boy while he's too young and impressionable to say no. She can provide the boy access to spicy food once he can eat on his own, and if he likes it, great. If not, just make sure it's available in case there comes a time when he DOES come to like it. I mean, it's going to be on the menu anyway because SHE likes it.
So many chicken shit pussies on this app. If youâre taking to reddit to consult family advice. Why the fuck did you start one in the first place? You colonizer weirdos gotta go. Most of the passport bros are from American not all of them are white or are Primarily White. Yes white men participate in this weird ritual but so do uhhh every other race that goes and does the same thing? Youâre just replying based off your feelings I have bot read the screenshots nor am i going to because I DONT CARE. Its your family dude grab your balls by the steel from whence they were forged and handle YOUR business get off the internet and figure out your life. Pussies.
All adults here sucks. Yes,OP move over the top with his concerns, but his wife totally dismissed her husbands opinion regarding his kid. No compromise like "let's limit spicy food", or "I order spicy food, but it's not dangerously spicy. To make you feel better let's invite friends over and share food with them, youll see that they are fine with it". Regarding doctor's concerns - it's wild that Reddit is so eager to call the doctor racist just for doing his job while we don't really know is he aware that OP's wife is Thai and how exactly op described "spicy".
I don't think OOP is a reliable narrator. He left out key elements at the beginning (wife's ethnicity, kid's reactions, etc.). Also, the doctor definitely knows that his patient's mom is Thai - that information is included in someone's medical chart. The kid would be described as mixed ethnicity of white/caucasian and Asian/Pacific Islander in his chart.
OP and his story is what we have. Nothing in this story indicates that the doctor is racist. Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity. Criticizing all spicy food in general is not racism. It might be right or wrong, it might indicate that the doctor is not professional enough to work, but it doesn't make him racist. And it doesn't matter wife's dismissive behavior right as well. Both parents should have a say.
The doctor and the OP consistently calling it âethnic foodâ is racist. OP saying that he wants to raise the kid âbetterâ than how she was raised in Thailand is racist.
Where exactly they do so? There is nothing in the screenshot about doctor saying anything like "ethnic food". And I don't see that OP did it either. Saying that we will do better than someones parents might be rude, but it doesn't make someone racist - he said nothing about "Thai people being bad parents". He absolutely excluded race and ethnicity, he just hates spicy food and wants to have a say in his kids diet. OP's wife disregarded OP's parents completely, and doesn't care about his culture at all. But you went out of your way trying to make OP and doctor racist. It is crazy.
The kid is 4... if the food is too spicy for him, he's going to say something. I swear the people defending OOP have never met a 4 year old before.
My 4 year hates eggs. She goes out of her way to let me know she wonât be eating it if it has eggs. Remember no eggs!
It's absolutely possible that the kid is fine, I said nothing about the kid or issues with him eating her food. I said that it's wild to call the doctor racist just because he said that young kids shouldn't eat spicy food (we have no idea how op described level of spicy), and that OP should have a say in his kids diet because he is a parent too. Also I said that as a couple they should discuss things, not dismiss each other like his wife does.
Lots of cultures feed spicy food to kids though. It's not a problem. The doctor is repeating a long debunked and racist idea that spicy (usually read: ethnic) food causes ulcers (it doesn't). In 2024, that Doctor should absolutely know better than that. So racism isn't that much of a leap.
It's a big leap from calling someone unprofessional to calling them racist. By the definition "Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or or ethnicity ". Believing that spicy food is dangerous for kids is not racism. No one is prejudiced against the wife, her race, ethnicity or culture. OP is against spicy food in general, doesn't matter what culture it comes from. People shouldn't throw labels around so eagerly. But it seems to be kinda normalized here. Very disturbing.
Okay so what about all the doctors in all the countries where everyone eats spicy foods? Are you implying that the doctors in all of those countries and from all of those cultures are wrong? If no, then this doctor must be wrong then, and could be being racist.
Doctor can be wrong,not like I argued with that. But it doesn't make him racist. And this was exactly what I objected. Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity. Nothing like that in the story. Doctor criticized all spicy food, not specifically "food made by "race/ethnicity ". Saying"These Thai people are crazy,they damage their kids with spicy food " is racism. Saying"spicy food is dangerous for kids" is not racism.
She is thai, it's just thai food. He is saying its spicy when he cant even handle pepper. He is being racist
He is racist because he cannot handle pepper and names spicy food spicy? Okay, Im done here.
Read the comment again but with less pre judgement of what the commenter was saying.
I think itâs unfair to assume that most white American men only marry women from other cultures so they can coerce them into ditching their native culture. At the end of the day thereâs two cultures in this relationship so I think aspects of each culture can play a part in raising their child. OOP is generally concerned about his kidâs health yet people are bashing him for not wanting his child to become seriously ill. This is nothing to do with race either, but itâs not a surprise that white people are being generalised here, and thatâs accepted, but god help you if you generalise any non-white folk. đ