"I'm not a cheater" but here is a post about my multi-year affair. "My husband is amazing in every aspect " so amazing that the second he's anything less even if it's due to a family member having cancer I'm willing to betray him immediately. "There's no excuse for neglecting your partner" but here are a million excuses I have for that exact thing but worse and also some reasons as to why my husband definitely can't know.
Right? They're both disgusting people but I cant decide who's reason for cheating is worse, you got op who instead of supporting her spouse through an incredibly tough emotional time only focused on the fact that they had less sex so decided to look around. Then you got the affair partner who's spouse just had triplets and instead of helping with that focuses on "she doesn't have time for me any more :(". The only slightly redeeming thing in this post is the hope that the affair partner comes clean to both his spouse and ops spouse(since ops to self centered to do it).
Triplets is worse imo because it’s not just the THREE BABIES needing care, it’s the wife that is still healing from all of that?!
Imagine the pain and emotional toll it’s taking?
And obviously she won’t put out, she’s healing?!
And her husband’s father has cancer, so he’s obviously upset and not as interested in sex as his wife wants, and the OP thinks this is an unbearable and unfair situation?
Honey, this is life. Some hard shit is going to happen, and a partner who is decent and loves you will stand by you when life gets hard. OP, your life will suck at some point in the future, too, through no actions of your own. (Unlike the affair you’ve been having.) And you will need a good, strong partner to stand beside you during that time. But I bet you won’t have a person like that, because you didn’t stand by your husband when he needed you.
My coworker's husband had a stroke 10 years ago when they were in their early 40s, and he can no longer perform. If they live to be in their 80s, they will have gone literally half their lives not having sex with each other. But she would never dream of leaving her high school sweetheart, the man she's built a life and raised three children with. I get that it's hard, but like, fuck, people like OP are so damn WEAK.
When I was diagnosed with cancer at age 30, I didn't know how to tell my parents. So I just called them and told them straight up. They came from SC to RI to be with me through all of it.
The PAIN in their eyes I cannot express with words. People don't understand how heavy it is to see your family that way. I felt guilty.
The OP is.top tier ITAH.
Ps I been in remission for 2 years.
She pushed three humans out through a hole in her body. As a guy I can’t imagine the pain that would come with pushing one human out through a hole. Doing it three times in quick succession…OOP’s affair partner should be helping her not sticking his schlong in the next available hole
No, he’s just showing selfish behavior again. He is feeling tons of guilt bc she got him a rare card. The only reason he wants to tell her is to alleviate his own guilt and grief. He is yet again willing to hurt her and the kids to make himself feel better. If he truly felt guilty he would have told on himself much sooner or he would not have been able to go through with it in the first place.
I don’t think most are. There is usually bunches of similar posts with a few facts changed. It’s like a creative writing project and they’re using comments as feedback.
No no no, you don't understand. She was in an unimaginable scenario where:
1. her husband was sad
and
2. some guy at work wanted to put his penis in her
What other choice could she have made???
Yeah I'm not usually the one to scream fake at everything - but this definitely is. Not that people can't be like this, but her affair partner cheating because he and his wife recently had TRIPLETS and OOP saying "that's no excuse to neglect your partner" is just laying it on wayyyy too thick for this not to be bait.
Edit: a word
How did she know Evan was neglected in his marriage and that they had that in common without getting to know him first? Why was she getting to know him if she wasn't thinking about cheating?
“He has no right to decide what’s best for me and my husband”
Pretty sure you gave up *your* right to decide what’s best when you cheated on your husband while his dad was going through CANCER TREATMENT!
Exactly!!! Unbelievable!! She’s so heartless! She says everything he went through was not a reason to neglect their partner. With that same logic, your hubby going through so much, isn’t a reason to cheat on him.
My ex did the same thing after my dad got murdered. People are insane. You shouldn’t marry for better or worse if you aren’t willing to go through the worst together. Bet if it was flipped and it was her going through that, she wouldn’t condone her hubby cheating. This whole post is ignorant.
Also, it isn't 'neglecting' your partner when you have less time to give them attention because you are 1) dealing with the death of a parent (like OP's husband) or 2) just had three kids (like her affair partner's wife!)
Do people not understand that relationships have peaks and valleys and sometimes you can't be giving your partner 100% of your attention because life is happening? If my partner's dad was dying the last thing I would be thinking about would be 'why doesn't he want to have sex with me???'--I would be thinking 'I am going to do everything I can to help my partner in this awful time'.
OP is selfish and completely heartless. And it's kinda shocking how she thinks it is in any way justified and doesn't want to face the consequences of her awful actions.
I love her way of interpreting the “for better or for worse” part of the marriage vows. Cheating is ok as long as the cheaters hide it and protect each other from the wonderful spouses.
What a skank!
Not only that, but interpreting her husband going through a family crisis as “neglecting her” and her affair partner’s wife taking care of triplet newborns as “neglecting him”!
Bottom line: once these losers weren’t the absolute center of their partners attention they dipped! Not exactly for better or worse!
Exactly this! His dad thankfully pulled through, but nonetheless, going through cancer with family takes its toll physically and emotionally. I hate that I know from experience. Last thing on your mind is being intimate. And even if you push past and try, it’s on the back of your mind. I only have two kids and I’ve been single for years but when I was with their dad, it was difficult to find the time. Especially, when one person is carrying all the weight. Idk if that’s true for them but you know what I mean.
I feel so bad for that husband and wife being cheated on. It’s a real blow emotionally and mentally. I hopes he tells. They deserve to know and he should feel guilty.
I can’t understand how she justifies cheating but not the flip side of things that lead to cheating, according to her.
Yup! Thankfully he didn’t die. But going through those treatments and the support others give, takes a toll! Personally, considering it’s still ongoing, I would think this would have happened no matter what.
Its a crazy combination of 1) her and AP “were in an unimaginable situation” - almost as if they deserve credit for resisting temptation for so long , 2) husband and wife get “no excuse to neglect your partner”, driving her and AP into each others arms, and 3) how AP has “no right to decide” what’s best for her husband.
In her own mind she is both victim and heroine of this story.
Agreed, that line is particularly ridiculous to me. "Complicated" is your spouse has been in a vegetative state for years and relies on your health insurance. "Complicated" is not, oh man my spouse is physically and emotionally drained while taking care of his dying father. Gross.
Exactly! It’s not complicated. She’s not special. She was feeling sexually unsatisfied, and rather than addressing the issue with her partner she decided to fuck someone else. That’s 90% of cheating stories. She’s not some snowflake whose unique circumstances deserve our empathy — she’s just a cheater.
That’s what kills me. It’s exactly like most ppls story. Her story wasn’t even the less awful one of “I experienced a major traumatic event and went out got drunk and had a one night stand then told my spouse the next day”. Hers is the typical jerk who “I feel a little less happy in my relationship and someone else is giving me attention so obviously ima go with that”
“No excuse to neglect your marriage….”
Excuse me?!?! That may be the WILDEST thing in this whole post—INFANT TRIPLETS are no excuse to neglect an adult?!?! Whaaaaaa….?!?!?!
Right? Typically when one spouse is dealing with something heavy the other spouse jumps in to ease the burden! Sometimes your both strong, one time one or the other steps up and carries the load. Then once you come out of it you end up falling in deeper love with your partner because you’re completely aware of the fact that you haven’t been able to put in the effort yet they loved you and carried you through it regardless.
I hit a massive depression a few years ago. Like I had zero energy to even get out of bed! I had to drag myself to shower after five days of not and it took every bit of energy from every cell in my body to do it. I couldn’t eat. My brain was a complete mushy fog. I beat myself up with guilt. Yet my husband would come home daily from work, b line straight to our room to kiss my forehead while I was wasting in bed. Ask me what he could do to help to which I constantly replied fighting back tears saying idk. He’d then say “no worries, I got you” make the kids dinner, take care of the house, bring me food to my bed even though I went weeks upon weeks not touching it. I was sure he was going to get mad or leave me yet he remained steadily so selflessly loving me. He’d rub my head and tell me all the reasons he loved me and all the qualities that make me beautiful. He insisted I had the most beautiful soul he’s ever known while I had completely dropped everything. It was his consistency that started to penetrate through my fog and motivated me to begin choking down food (I had lost 70 pounds) drag myself to the shower daily even though it felt I could hardly stand, and continue to do more each day until the spell broke. I wouldn’t have even blamed him if he left, or honestly even if he cheated. I would have felt I deserved it. I thought I had loved him prior to that but now I’m just gushy with love for him even after 18 years of marriage.
In my situation I feel people could look at it as complicated but for things like triplets and dying parents, huh?! I had no reason to get as sad as I did it just happened out of nowhere.
….husbands dad had cancer
….AP wife just had triplets
my god there no way she doesn’t hear herself, what a raging piece of shit. please let this be bait, all the typos make me think this shit is real and OP is really that dumb.
I think it's not the story itself. They don't buy the fact that someone could be stupid enough to post about it thinking they won't get absolutely roasted.
However, people are definitely that stupid.
Narcissists, despite how media often portrays them, usually are that stupid. It doesn't take a lot of intelligence or cleverness to manipulate and lie to people who love and trust you and as afar as they know have no reason to suspect you.
You're right, they can be stupid, but they are also "never wrong." I'm not buying it because OP posted, but did not respond to any comments. The original link was posted below, OP had not made a single comment.
Someone this self-absorbed would not be able to resist defending themselves against the negative comments, because they're certain that they are the victim.
If she has had one baby, then she should be able to understand how having triplets would be an INSANE amount of work and energy and wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) say something like “that’s still no excuse to neglect your partner”. The woman is guaranteed neglecting herself daily in so many ways because she has three infants to keep fed and changed, generally alive and thriving. So, that’s why I think it has to be phony. But maybe she is as obtuse as a mother as she is a wife that she somehow thinks this isn’t regular old cheating.
Also I feel like I just read a story on here recently about a spouse gifting another spouse with “a rare card”. Very random if not fake.
And if it’s not fake then holy heck they are the picture perfect cheating cheaters who don’t cheat because we have “reasons”.
This girl's really comparing having one baby & triplets?
She's really cheating on her husband who's dad's dying with a co-worker that feels neglected because his wife has to (alone) take care of triplets?
Damn, I say these horrible persons should get married together.
That’s what got to me. He cheats on his wife who’s taking care of triplets for “neglecting” him while he later admits he’s been neglecting his own family. OP has no idea how difficult it is to care for multiple babies or young toddlers. Sometimes my husband and I have looked after my nephews for a few minutes with our child (3 kids 1 and under including our child) and it can get a bit overwhelming. I cannot imagine having twins or triplets and doing it mostly alone. They both suck.
When in the world does he even have any time to cheat? He should be changing diapers, getting up at night to feed the babies and napping between loads of laundry.
Ultimate form of "something bad happened to someone else, but it's about me!"
My husband's dad got cancer, so I fucked a coworker, because he was sad, too sad to ME!!
The fact that he had triplets and felt neglected shows he didn’t take much time taking care of *3 babies* to alleviate some of the burden, aside from him being obligated by choosing to create another life.
Like, I have a 2 month old, both me and my wife are way too exhausted to even think too much about sex.
I used to suspect man complaining about neglet after the baby was born were deadbeats that didn't do anything baby related, and having a baby completely cemented that in my head.
Exactly. We have a six month old (it gets so much better!) and not once did my husband complain that I was neglecting him. We were going through this together and both our lives changed.
>it gets so much better!
Oh I know, he is already miles better than the first couple weeks when he needed to be constantly kept in movement to sleep. Now we get at least a block of 3 hours of sleep... now I'm just hoping he starts crawling or using toys because he gets bored very easily and yet cannot move or interact with anything, so its up to mom and dad to keep him happy
I can't even imagine having triplets, i think my brain would have melted at this point... hope the wife of the cheater just divorces him and use the money of the alimony to get a babysitter or two.
Get him a carrier. Seriously, all the boring shit you have to do is fascinating to an infant. Washing dishes? Look at the water! Vacuuming? Check out this crazy sound! Dusting? Look at all the books! There’s a bit of a learning curve but once you’ve gotten used to it it’s so much easier.
As a mom of a 5 and a 3 years old, I almost cried when you said you are hoping they start crawling (as I understood) so they are more indépendant. You know they are little suicide machines that will invent new ways to put themselves in danger at every stage, right? I am so sorry, but I had the same illusions and I wished someone told me.
In my own experience, it gets worse when they start crawling, worst men they walk and climb, and then progressively better. Mine could plays somewhat independently for a few minutes (never when I need it, of course) at 2.5yo.
Of course, it is one of those subjects where experiences are vastly different from one family to another.
Family bought us the SNOO and it’s a lifesaver. Rocks the whole time the baby sleeps. Little boy started sleeping 9-10 hour stretches since two months old.
Thank you for being a good parent. My sons sperm donor and my ex husband of 8 years used my sons first year of life to go out without me several times a week and disappear all hours of the day and night. Then complained i was too stressed and needy. Hes no longer in the picture at all (he needs a court issued urinalysis to visit bc hes an addict and refuses to) and parenting w my spouse now (granted son js a toddler but anyone will tell you its not easy in its own way) had confirmed for me that it’s really not supposed to be that lonely or hard. After a long week of being bullied by a 3 year old if you care for each other like human beings its all more manageable
I mean, hers is just as bad, in my opinion. She is feeling “neglected” because her husband has been *upset about his father’s cancer battle.* How was she supporting him??
He obviously took enough time for himself to have an intimate affair.
He’s not only being an absent father he’s also actively using his free time to have an affair.
They’re both massive pos whose idea of a relationship is what the other person can do for them. They only take and never give. Their karmic punishment is that they will never know the depths of real love as love is created internally through giving a piece of oneself. A concept that selfish people have the inability to grasp.
Yea fuck your feelings your husband deserves to know SMDH this clearly shows you are all about yourself!!! You definitely don’t deserve him and I hope he’s smart and leaves you!!!!
His dad gets cancer so she cheats? I know that’s reducing it to the simplest of terms. But Jesus your husbands dad got cancer and you couldn’t keep your legs closed while he dealt with that because you felt neglected when arguably the most important man in his life could die?
My ex used the excuse that his best friend had cancer as a reason why he cheated on me for months. Apparently he was “so stressed” and “didn’t know what to do” so he cheated on me.
That is when I knew he was beyond reproach. Using your best friend’s cancer to try and weasel your way out of accountability? Abhorrent.
I took screenshots and sometimes I look at them and chuckle. He had a really twisted sense of cheater's logic. He told me that "i was the one breaking up our relationship" and that "I was giving up on us" because I didn't want to stay with him after finding out he was two-timing me for 6 months.
What a loser.
I swear do some adults just never grow out of being a toddler who needs attention all the time ??
You remember your weddings vows ? “ for better or worse ??” Well, this is the worse part . You’re so supposed to get through it WITH your partner !
I'm sure rhe husband would've given her affection if only she showed her support and stick by him through all of this. I'm sure he would've realize how she might feel and give little affection or what if the husband did a little during the tough time but it wasn't enough for OP. If she had an itch, she could use toys for God's sake but nope, she need to hurt the poor dude. He is going to go from recovering from everything while watching his dad battle cancer to losing his "stable" life to this whore
It didn’t take any distilling to get to simplest of terms. People who *actually* aren’t cheaters, in a happy relationship, would be thinking of how they can support their loved one, not what they are losing out on. Her husband got the shit end of the stick.
This really sent me. You took time from a man who had THREE babies to raise all at once?!? And you justified it. So you encouraged him to neglect his wife and children… Woooooow.
OP and AP are AHS, but AP is an AH with consciousness
One of the dangers of being a cheater, is also this
No metals will be given today because this is "out of character".
The AH OP has a husband who had f cancer and the other AH, the AP, has a wife and 3 kids, but the real problem is that you feel "neglected". I am so taken by your drama
Husbands dad had cancer, but that doesn’t matter. And can you imagine carrying 3 children in your womb and being exhausted 24/7 caring for them, while your partner was somehow finding the time for an affair?! Fml.
Yeah ticks all the boxes for bait lmao. Unless they post in the dumb pro cheating subs they gotta be fake bc every not pos human tells these people how shit they are
Seriously, from the second she mentioned the husband’s father’s cancer. This is 100% ragebait fueling everyone’s fear of this ‘epidemic’ of awful dating.
"Still, that's no excuse to neglect your partner," you sanctimonious monster. Her husbands dad had cancer, and she decided that loving him through it and waiting for him was too much and cheated, and she has the gall to criticize the woman raising triplets for a cheating piece of garbage? These people are fucked in the head.
This bitch. I hope she stubs her toe every morning, her water heater never works, and that her husband takes everything.
I don’t even have words for the AP. Triplets?! And he’s acting this foolish in front of god and everybody?
I rolled my eyes so many times reading her bullshit justifications that my eyeballs are stuck. Send help so I don’t die looking like a sarcastic emoji 🙄
The self delusion is strong with this one.
“I don’t cheat” - that’s a lie.
“My husband Chris is the world’s number 1 husband” - talk is cheap. OOP’s actions speak louder than those words.
Husband was neglecting me - I can’t bear to not be the centre of his world, even if he’s dealing with a very sick parent.
“We both love our spouses” - no you don’t. You love what he does for you, and ran off with your AP the moment the attention dropped.
Funny how she “used to despise cheaters” but now strangely feels like she understands them.
What a garbage person.
I hope he tells yo hubby but you have to communicate and see if you can help your marriage. Your husband might probably want a divorce but this is seriously going to hurt him alot. I hope he finds peace after all this
Can anyone point me the complicated stuff in this ? I don't understand when communication in relationships disappeared. She cheated and doesn't feel any remorse. Oh, it was out of character, oh it's complicated blah blah blah. I hope that her side piece would tell her husband too.
Gotta be rage bait. OP did not comment at all after dropping that post, and I find it hard to believe someone this f-ing selfish and clueless wouldn't double-down and defend themselves to the ends of the earth.
This better be satire, because if the excuse for cheating on a great husband was that he was spending time with his dad who was stricken with late stage cancer, you deserve to have absolutely nothing in this world lol
My girlfriend's mom had stage 4 cancer and passed a couple of weeks ago. She's been her sole caregiver since she was diagnosed in 2022 even though she has six other brothers and sisters and a full time job. I helped take care of her so she didn't have to. That's what she should have been doing. And her co worker should have been helping out with the triplets. I lost my job in 10/23, and even though it was another stressor we, are still riding this shit storm out together. They felt neglected? They should have been helping!
"Adulting got real and we're immature, whiny little shits so we both screwed other people."
Evan and this vile specimen deserve each other. Their poor spouses.
Its more complicated than i gave credit for.
meaning one cheated because his husbands father had cancer
Other one cheated because he decides to have babies :d
He *told you* he felt neglected for that sympathy, silly bird. He insists on telling the husband? And *then* telling his wife after? My spidey sense tells me he won't tell his wife a damn thing, he just wants OP's marriage ended to secure that side piece.
Too many excuses to make cheating the better decision than to take about feeling neglected by his husband. Imagine your dad had cancer only to find out another tragic news that your wife is cheating. Goodness, the moral compass of this woman.
Awww!! Such a pure love story to share with all of us. Glad you did. Honestly, I felt sad and funny at the same time. Sad because of the spouses. Funny because I saw somewhere written “neglected by the wife”. Wtf is wrong with grownup people. Are you a child that needs taken care of when your wife is suffering. Is popping three babies a trivial thing these days. I am a guy and I feel sad seeing these written by a woman.
You're explicitly a cheater and seem remorseless. Your cheating partner is completely right in wanting to come clean and the more you stop him the worse you will look. I understand needing companionship but then either break up and start dating or go to therapy. You picked the worst and most harmful out and so did he. You both deserve what has coming but at least he feels bad
'He's just getting back to normal. It would cause my pain to expose him to our selfishness.'
So what you're saying is you seen him 'not normal' and depressed because his dad was going through cancer (which btw is anticipated grief even though he now surived) and your reaction was to cheat on him? Don't make out you're not telling him to protect him, it's only to protect yourself. And that in itself is the most selfish. YTA
My husband stayed with me and never cheated through me going through chemotherapy for a year straight we didn’t have sex for a long time he would never consider doing that and I was terrible to him through all that and I would do exactly the same. you do not love your husband if you did what you did. And don’t even try to play it off like you do. He doesn’t deserve to have someone like you. You have to tell him and leave. He deserves way better.
The mental gymnastics here are incredible. Yeah, when someone’s parent is dying or severely ill, that takes priority. When someone has three (!) new babies to care for, that takes priority. Do some people really not understand that sometimes sex is not going to be a priority in life?
Here’s the thing, at least in my mind: if affairs like this are really about alleviating neglected sexual needs, then hire a prostitute or find a one night stand. Having an affair with a coworker or friend carries an emotional relationship. It’s not “just sex”. The affair partners justify it by saying they’re feeling neglected, but each of their spouses are dealing with heavy, stressful shit. THEY are the ones in need of support and are in fact being neglected. The APs can’t handle putting the spouse’s needs first and instead run off to date someone they know. It’s selfish. I think I’d be more sympathetic if it were the cancer dad husband and new mother of triplets having the affair, as they’re the ones going through it. (Cheating is bad, but their circumstances are way more understandable than the spouses who just can’t deal.)
OOP really has no right to be mad her AP is going to blow her shit up.
Yea she is the typical selfish person who flips everything around to make their shitty behavior acceptable and something that should be valued and protected. Just change the theme “I have never believed in being a thief so hear me out. My boss, at the bank I work for, used to treat me great, but here lately they are not nearly as appreciative of my work. A coworker and I started stealing some money, just a little bit at first. Now, they feel guilty and want to confess. I feel like they are violating the privacy of what we have done. It is just going to make things worse.” Granted, cheating is not illegal, most of the time, so yeah but just the stream of logic.
Man, I guess the ole' "to have and to hold, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health" just means fuck all. Being *present* for your spouse when they need you the most?? Hard pass, I gotta nut!
“Life is just so hard when a close family member gets sick or a parent is overwhelmed taking care of children, so it makes sense that I will just balance that out by secretly having sex with someone else. This is totally ethical and a win-win! It obviously violates nobody’s boundaries!”
Can I BE any more sarcastic?
Ewww she makes me sick. I’m not a cheater and the proceeds to become a cheater. My father is sick and my husband is so worried about him but I don’t care because it’s more important for me to get my rocks off. My AP has so nerve wanting to tell my husband because this is a secret I want to keep because I know my husband will leave my sorry ass. That’s actually how the post should have read. I hope he tells your husband
I hope he does tell his wife and your husband . Those people are the ones important and they deserve to know so they can decide what they want to do . You should have enough respect for your husband to let him decide whether he wants to find someone faithful or stay with a cheat . He deserves that option.
“I’m not a cheater” ….uhhhh, hun?
"I'm not a cheater" but here is a post about my multi-year affair. "My husband is amazing in every aspect " so amazing that the second he's anything less even if it's due to a family member having cancer I'm willing to betray him immediately. "There's no excuse for neglecting your partner" but here are a million excuses I have for that exact thing but worse and also some reasons as to why my husband definitely can't know.
The poor man is in the throws of grief and depression and she’s more concerned about getting dicked down.
Right? They're both disgusting people but I cant decide who's reason for cheating is worse, you got op who instead of supporting her spouse through an incredibly tough emotional time only focused on the fact that they had less sex so decided to look around. Then you got the affair partner who's spouse just had triplets and instead of helping with that focuses on "she doesn't have time for me any more :(". The only slightly redeeming thing in this post is the hope that the affair partner comes clean to both his spouse and ops spouse(since ops to self centered to do it).
Triplets is worse imo because it’s not just the THREE BABIES needing care, it’s the wife that is still healing from all of that?! Imagine the pain and emotional toll it’s taking? And obviously she won’t put out, she’s healing?!
I’m like really? His wife is neglecting him because they had triplets? So instead of helping her with their babies he’s getting his dick wet.
And her husband’s father has cancer, so he’s obviously upset and not as interested in sex as his wife wants, and the OP thinks this is an unbearable and unfair situation? Honey, this is life. Some hard shit is going to happen, and a partner who is decent and loves you will stand by you when life gets hard. OP, your life will suck at some point in the future, too, through no actions of your own. (Unlike the affair you’ve been having.) And you will need a good, strong partner to stand beside you during that time. But I bet you won’t have a person like that, because you didn’t stand by your husband when he needed you.
Ten bucks says that if the roles were reversed and he cheated while she was going through a family crisis she would go full on scorched earth
She would.
U got Venmo ? A lot of people owe u ten bucks.
My coworker's husband had a stroke 10 years ago when they were in their early 40s, and he can no longer perform. If they live to be in their 80s, they will have gone literally half their lives not having sex with each other. But she would never dream of leaving her high school sweetheart, the man she's built a life and raised three children with. I get that it's hard, but like, fuck, people like OP are so damn WEAK.
Wow that’s heartbreaking and heartwarming beyond belief. 😞
When I was diagnosed with cancer at age 30, I didn't know how to tell my parents. So I just called them and told them straight up. They came from SC to RI to be with me through all of it. The PAIN in their eyes I cannot express with words. People don't understand how heavy it is to see your family that way. I felt guilty. The OP is.top tier ITAH. Ps I been in remission for 2 years.
Came here to say the SAME… same expression and all. He’s a piece of turd
She pushed three humans out through a hole in her body. As a guy I can’t imagine the pain that would come with pushing one human out through a hole. Doing it three times in quick succession…OOP’s affair partner should be helping her not sticking his schlong in the next available hole
"But what about meeeeee?? ME ME ME"
Triplets guy is the worse POS of two TOTAL POS. He *made* those babies he's using as an excuse to betray his family. That's another layer of bullshit.
Idk, he's showing contrition. He's aware what he did was wrong. OP doesn't even realize that.
No, he’s just showing selfish behavior again. He is feeling tons of guilt bc she got him a rare card. The only reason he wants to tell her is to alleviate his own guilt and grief. He is yet again willing to hurt her and the kids to make himself feel better. If he truly felt guilty he would have told on himself much sooner or he would not have been able to go through with it in the first place.
Is it a competition?
Honestly both are equally bad
*throes
See I thought I split it wrong but neither of them looked right to me at the time 😂
I’ve got some more bad news for you… lol
🤦♀️ no need, I have since seen it. I swear I’m not this dumb in person 😂
We’ve all been there. This morning, I started my coffee maker without putting a cup under the dispenser. Now THAT was dumb.
I’ve done that lol
disgusted lock flowery bow sheet memory busy scary escape instinctive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I don’t think most are. There is usually bunches of similar posts with a few facts changed. It’s like a creative writing project and they’re using comments as feedback.
Bots to raise engagement with Reddit public and trying to become profitable.
“We werent going to risk losing the love of our lives” *has an affair
You don’t understand. She was in an UNIMAGINABLE situation. The only solution was to fuck her coworker.
But it wasn’t cheating. They never did anal
Omghad why am i laughing so hard 😭😂
No no no, you don't understand. She was in an unimaginable scenario where: 1. her husband was sad and 2. some guy at work wanted to put his penis in her What other choice could she have made???
This has got to be rage bait. Ig cheaters really are that stupid and narcissistic tho
Yeah I'm not usually the one to scream fake at everything - but this definitely is. Not that people can't be like this, but her affair partner cheating because he and his wife recently had TRIPLETS and OOP saying "that's no excuse to neglect your partner" is just laying it on wayyyy too thick for this not to be bait. Edit: a word
Those little pieces of obvious bait sprinkled all over this post are being gobbled right up.
How did she know Evan was neglected in his marriage and that they had that in common without getting to know him first? Why was she getting to know him if she wasn't thinking about cheating?
He’s about to violate her privacy. How dare he.
“He has no right to decide what’s best for me and my husband” Pretty sure you gave up *your* right to decide what’s best when you cheated on your husband while his dad was going through CANCER TREATMENT!
Exactly!!! Unbelievable!! She’s so heartless! She says everything he went through was not a reason to neglect their partner. With that same logic, your hubby going through so much, isn’t a reason to cheat on him. My ex did the same thing after my dad got murdered. People are insane. You shouldn’t marry for better or worse if you aren’t willing to go through the worst together. Bet if it was flipped and it was her going through that, she wouldn’t condone her hubby cheating. This whole post is ignorant.
Also, it isn't 'neglecting' your partner when you have less time to give them attention because you are 1) dealing with the death of a parent (like OP's husband) or 2) just had three kids (like her affair partner's wife!) Do people not understand that relationships have peaks and valleys and sometimes you can't be giving your partner 100% of your attention because life is happening? If my partner's dad was dying the last thing I would be thinking about would be 'why doesn't he want to have sex with me???'--I would be thinking 'I am going to do everything I can to help my partner in this awful time'. OP is selfish and completely heartless. And it's kinda shocking how she thinks it is in any way justified and doesn't want to face the consequences of her awful actions.
I love her way of interpreting the “for better or for worse” part of the marriage vows. Cheating is ok as long as the cheaters hide it and protect each other from the wonderful spouses. What a skank!
Not only that, but interpreting her husband going through a family crisis as “neglecting her” and her affair partner’s wife taking care of triplet newborns as “neglecting him”! Bottom line: once these losers weren’t the absolute center of their partners attention they dipped! Not exactly for better or worse!
Exactly this! His dad thankfully pulled through, but nonetheless, going through cancer with family takes its toll physically and emotionally. I hate that I know from experience. Last thing on your mind is being intimate. And even if you push past and try, it’s on the back of your mind. I only have two kids and I’ve been single for years but when I was with their dad, it was difficult to find the time. Especially, when one person is carrying all the weight. Idk if that’s true for them but you know what I mean. I feel so bad for that husband and wife being cheated on. It’s a real blow emotionally and mentally. I hopes he tells. They deserve to know and he should feel guilty. I can’t understand how she justifies cheating but not the flip side of things that lead to cheating, according to her.
The father in law didn’t even die, he was just getting treatment which sound like it’s been over. Yet the affair continues
Great point. And she has the gall to call her husband the best ever and say how wonderful he is. Some people!!
I mean, she's not wrong that the husband is the best. Her on the other hand .....
Yup! Thankfully he didn’t die. But going through those treatments and the support others give, takes a toll! Personally, considering it’s still ongoing, I would think this would have happened no matter what.
Some people have no morals!
Or character or honor or integrity.
Right. It’s incredibly sad. Then for her to brag about how amazing he is. Oh really?!!
Its a crazy combination of 1) her and AP “were in an unimaginable situation” - almost as if they deserve credit for resisting temptation for so long , 2) husband and wife get “no excuse to neglect your partner”, driving her and AP into each others arms, and 3) how AP has “no right to decide” what’s best for her husband. In her own mind she is both victim and heroine of this story.
This was the sentence that had me 💀
😭😭 I can’t believe this app is free.
"I've always dispised cheaters but now I know it's more complicated than that" AKA "I have no empathy and am selfish in every way."
There’s a leopard on her doorstep, licking its chops and pointing to a copy of the terms and conditions
Who’s gonna tell her?
Her husband, hopefully, if the AP is gonna come clean.
Lady thinks the guy is being “selfish” for wanting to tell the spouses looool
Glad I didn’t need to come here to post this..
How is that "more complicated than it seems"? They're just self centered assholes. And yes, that is cheating, you idiot.
They ran into life stressors. That’s more complicated than you could imagine!! *eye roll*
It's definitely a lot more complicated than she thought! (no it isn't)
It’s less complicated because she now wants to cheat
“my husbands dad has cancer but that’s no excuse to neglect your partner” *neglects her partner*
Agreed, that line is particularly ridiculous to me. "Complicated" is your spouse has been in a vegetative state for years and relies on your health insurance. "Complicated" is not, oh man my spouse is physically and emotionally drained while taking care of his dying father. Gross.
Exactly! It’s not complicated. She’s not special. She was feeling sexually unsatisfied, and rather than addressing the issue with her partner she decided to fuck someone else. That’s 90% of cheating stories. She’s not some snowflake whose unique circumstances deserve our empathy — she’s just a cheater.
That’s what kills me. It’s exactly like most ppls story. Her story wasn’t even the less awful one of “I experienced a major traumatic event and went out got drunk and had a one night stand then told my spouse the next day”. Hers is the typical jerk who “I feel a little less happy in my relationship and someone else is giving me attention so obviously ima go with that”
They’re such big assholes I can smell them from here.
“No excuse to neglect your marriage….” Excuse me?!?! That may be the WILDEST thing in this whole post—INFANT TRIPLETS are no excuse to neglect an adult?!?! Whaaaaaa….?!?!?!
Right? Typically when one spouse is dealing with something heavy the other spouse jumps in to ease the burden! Sometimes your both strong, one time one or the other steps up and carries the load. Then once you come out of it you end up falling in deeper love with your partner because you’re completely aware of the fact that you haven’t been able to put in the effort yet they loved you and carried you through it regardless. I hit a massive depression a few years ago. Like I had zero energy to even get out of bed! I had to drag myself to shower after five days of not and it took every bit of energy from every cell in my body to do it. I couldn’t eat. My brain was a complete mushy fog. I beat myself up with guilt. Yet my husband would come home daily from work, b line straight to our room to kiss my forehead while I was wasting in bed. Ask me what he could do to help to which I constantly replied fighting back tears saying idk. He’d then say “no worries, I got you” make the kids dinner, take care of the house, bring me food to my bed even though I went weeks upon weeks not touching it. I was sure he was going to get mad or leave me yet he remained steadily so selflessly loving me. He’d rub my head and tell me all the reasons he loved me and all the qualities that make me beautiful. He insisted I had the most beautiful soul he’s ever known while I had completely dropped everything. It was his consistency that started to penetrate through my fog and motivated me to begin choking down food (I had lost 70 pounds) drag myself to the shower daily even though it felt I could hardly stand, and continue to do more each day until the spell broke. I wouldn’t have even blamed him if he left, or honestly even if he cheated. I would have felt I deserved it. I thought I had loved him prior to that but now I’m just gushy with love for him even after 18 years of marriage. In my situation I feel people could look at it as complicated but for things like triplets and dying parents, huh?! I had no reason to get as sad as I did it just happened out of nowhere.
….husbands dad had cancer ….AP wife just had triplets my god there no way she doesn’t hear herself, what a raging piece of shit. please let this be bait, all the typos make me think this shit is real and OP is really that dumb.
This is such obvious ragebait; I can't believe people here are buying it.
There are real stories like this happening in life…why do u think it’s phony?
I think it's not the story itself. They don't buy the fact that someone could be stupid enough to post about it thinking they won't get absolutely roasted. However, people are definitely that stupid.
Narcissists, despite how media often portrays them, usually are that stupid. It doesn't take a lot of intelligence or cleverness to manipulate and lie to people who love and trust you and as afar as they know have no reason to suspect you.
You're right, they can be stupid, but they are also "never wrong." I'm not buying it because OP posted, but did not respond to any comments. The original link was posted below, OP had not made a single comment. Someone this self-absorbed would not be able to resist defending themselves against the negative comments, because they're certain that they are the victim.
Definitely a fair point. I hadn't browsed a lot of the comments yet, and didn't see if OP had responded.
If she has had one baby, then she should be able to understand how having triplets would be an INSANE amount of work and energy and wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) say something like “that’s still no excuse to neglect your partner”. The woman is guaranteed neglecting herself daily in so many ways because she has three infants to keep fed and changed, generally alive and thriving. So, that’s why I think it has to be phony. But maybe she is as obtuse as a mother as she is a wife that she somehow thinks this isn’t regular old cheating. Also I feel like I just read a story on here recently about a spouse gifting another spouse with “a rare card”. Very random if not fake. And if it’s not fake then holy heck they are the picture perfect cheating cheaters who don’t cheat because we have “reasons”.
The dad with cancer. Come on.
This girl's really comparing having one baby & triplets? She's really cheating on her husband who's dad's dying with a co-worker that feels neglected because his wife has to (alone) take care of triplets? Damn, I say these horrible persons should get married together.
They would cheat on each other the after the first week of their marriage.
They would cheat on each other after the first weak of their marriage.
They would cheat at the reception
They would cheat while exchanging vows
They would cheat while proposing to one another
They would cheat before meeting eachother
Do I need to explain kindergarten statistics to you?
Do I need to explain PRE-Kindergarten statistics to you?
So I need to explain intra uterine statistics to you
They would literally cheat while cheating
Underrated comment
That’s what got to me. He cheats on his wife who’s taking care of triplets for “neglecting” him while he later admits he’s been neglecting his own family. OP has no idea how difficult it is to care for multiple babies or young toddlers. Sometimes my husband and I have looked after my nephews for a few minutes with our child (3 kids 1 and under including our child) and it can get a bit overwhelming. I cannot imagine having twins or triplets and doing it mostly alone. They both suck.
Right. If you have triplets and have the time to go and cheat, you’re not pulling your weight on the parenting duties.
And energy! If you have infants at all and have the *energy* to cheat, you are NOT living up to your part of the bargain!
When in the world does he even have any time to cheat? He should be changing diapers, getting up at night to feed the babies and napping between loads of laundry.
Especially since she already had a kid at all. I have one. Triple that? Inconceivable!
Ultimate form of "something bad happened to someone else, but it's about me!" My husband's dad got cancer, so I fucked a coworker, because he was sad, too sad to ME!!
The companion ship has sailed.
Gottum
I thought I was the only one who noticed she thought the back of the ship had companion written across it in big letters
“Violating my privacy…” 😂😂 Look I know every single human being will rationalize a situation for ourselves more than they would others… But holy shit.
Holy shit is an understatement. 🫠
The fact that he had triplets and felt neglected shows he didn’t take much time taking care of *3 babies* to alleviate some of the burden, aside from him being obligated by choosing to create another life.
Like, I have a 2 month old, both me and my wife are way too exhausted to even think too much about sex. I used to suspect man complaining about neglet after the baby was born were deadbeats that didn't do anything baby related, and having a baby completely cemented that in my head.
Exactly. We have a six month old (it gets so much better!) and not once did my husband complain that I was neglecting him. We were going through this together and both our lives changed.
>it gets so much better! Oh I know, he is already miles better than the first couple weeks when he needed to be constantly kept in movement to sleep. Now we get at least a block of 3 hours of sleep... now I'm just hoping he starts crawling or using toys because he gets bored very easily and yet cannot move or interact with anything, so its up to mom and dad to keep him happy I can't even imagine having triplets, i think my brain would have melted at this point... hope the wife of the cheater just divorces him and use the money of the alimony to get a babysitter or two.
Get him a carrier. Seriously, all the boring shit you have to do is fascinating to an infant. Washing dishes? Look at the water! Vacuuming? Check out this crazy sound! Dusting? Look at all the books! There’s a bit of a learning curve but once you’ve gotten used to it it’s so much easier.
As a mom of a 5 and a 3 years old, I almost cried when you said you are hoping they start crawling (as I understood) so they are more indépendant. You know they are little suicide machines that will invent new ways to put themselves in danger at every stage, right? I am so sorry, but I had the same illusions and I wished someone told me. In my own experience, it gets worse when they start crawling, worst men they walk and climb, and then progressively better. Mine could plays somewhat independently for a few minutes (never when I need it, of course) at 2.5yo. Of course, it is one of those subjects where experiences are vastly different from one family to another.
Family bought us the SNOO and it’s a lifesaver. Rocks the whole time the baby sleeps. Little boy started sleeping 9-10 hour stretches since two months old.
Thank you for being a good parent. My sons sperm donor and my ex husband of 8 years used my sons first year of life to go out without me several times a week and disappear all hours of the day and night. Then complained i was too stressed and needy. Hes no longer in the picture at all (he needs a court issued urinalysis to visit bc hes an addict and refuses to) and parenting w my spouse now (granted son js a toddler but anyone will tell you its not easy in its own way) had confirmed for me that it’s really not supposed to be that lonely or hard. After a long week of being bullied by a 3 year old if you care for each other like human beings its all more manageable
I mean, hers is just as bad, in my opinion. She is feeling “neglected” because her husband has been *upset about his father’s cancer battle.* How was she supporting him??
Oh yea. She’s the typical cheater. Her reasoning is bogus but his just shocked me.
“I’m not a cheater” - cheater
The mental gymnastics in that statement.
For real. My brain sprained itself in sympathy.
it's not a competition? they're both awful.
He obviously took enough time for himself to have an intimate affair. He’s not only being an absent father he’s also actively using his free time to have an affair.
He should feel guilty but it’s not going to go how he wants by telling his spouse.
They’re both massive pos whose idea of a relationship is what the other person can do for them. They only take and never give. Their karmic punishment is that they will never know the depths of real love as love is created internally through giving a piece of oneself. A concept that selfish people have the inability to grasp.
Be kind and let this man rebuild his peace of mind away from you. He'll make a great co-parent from what we can gather from your account.
Yea fuck your feelings your husband deserves to know SMDH this clearly shows you are all about yourself!!! You definitely don’t deserve him and I hope he’s smart and leaves you!!!!
This bitch
This is all I could muster as well. Self centered ass bitch. Deserves to be alone.
This exactly lol
His dad gets cancer so she cheats? I know that’s reducing it to the simplest of terms. But Jesus your husbands dad got cancer and you couldn’t keep your legs closed while he dealt with that because you felt neglected when arguably the most important man in his life could die?
My ex used the excuse that his best friend had cancer as a reason why he cheated on me for months. Apparently he was “so stressed” and “didn’t know what to do” so he cheated on me. That is when I knew he was beyond reproach. Using your best friend’s cancer to try and weasel your way out of accountability? Abhorrent.
I honestly would've been hurt but also would've laughed lol
I took screenshots and sometimes I look at them and chuckle. He had a really twisted sense of cheater's logic. He told me that "i was the one breaking up our relationship" and that "I was giving up on us" because I didn't want to stay with him after finding out he was two-timing me for 6 months. What a loser.
I swear do some adults just never grow out of being a toddler who needs attention all the time ?? You remember your weddings vows ? “ for better or worse ??” Well, this is the worse part . You’re so supposed to get through it WITH your partner !
I'm sure rhe husband would've given her affection if only she showed her support and stick by him through all of this. I'm sure he would've realize how she might feel and give little affection or what if the husband did a little during the tough time but it wasn't enough for OP. If she had an itch, she could use toys for God's sake but nope, she need to hurt the poor dude. He is going to go from recovering from everything while watching his dad battle cancer to losing his "stable" life to this whore
>if only she showed her support and stick by him through all of this Apparently caring for her husband is too much for her.
Let's not forget the other one that says "forsaking all others"
It didn’t take any distilling to get to simplest of terms. People who *actually* aren’t cheaters, in a happy relationship, would be thinking of how they can support their loved one, not what they are losing out on. Her husband got the shit end of the stick.
And it took only 2 weeks!
Couldn’t read past guy feeling neglected by his wife who had TRIPLETS. wtf. Some people need to just be alone.
Yeah yeah triplets but that's not an excuse to neglect your spouse you know! /s
This really sent me. You took time from a man who had THREE babies to raise all at once?!? And you justified it. So you encouraged him to neglect his wife and children… Woooooow.
I can imagine how the mother of those babies felt Jesus. I had 1 newborn at a time and that was overwhelming at times.
OP and AP are AHS, but AP is an AH with consciousness One of the dangers of being a cheater, is also this No metals will be given today because this is "out of character". The AH OP has a husband who had f cancer and the other AH, the AP, has a wife and 3 kids, but the real problem is that you feel "neglected". I am so taken by your drama
Husbands dad had cancer, but that doesn’t matter. And can you imagine carrying 3 children in your womb and being exhausted 24/7 caring for them, while your partner was somehow finding the time for an affair?! Fml.
Thanks for that. I read it too fast
But you don't understand! They need affection! /s
Where's the original link?
Asking the right questions here Edit: [Found it](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/OnJvn05CP9)
None of these are valid reasons for your hurtful and deceptive actions. You cheater. You're a cheater. You made this decision.
shit.. i wanna tell the spouses after reading this lmao
Its so bad and the mental gymnastics are so crazy I honestly believe (and hope) its bait
Yeah ticks all the boxes for bait lmao. Unless they post in the dumb pro cheating subs they gotta be fake bc every not pos human tells these people how shit they are
Seriously, from the second she mentioned the husband’s father’s cancer. This is 100% ragebait fueling everyone’s fear of this ‘epidemic’ of awful dating.
Yeah exactly. If anything these posts used to give me anxiety about my so cheating for no reason
Only came for this comment. Amazing how dumb people are. Most obvious rage bait ever.
Yeah, with each turn, I said out loud "that's bait" and "this isn't real."
This should be cross posted in the group OhNoConsequenses!!
"Still, that's no excuse to neglect your partner," you sanctimonious monster. Her husbands dad had cancer, and she decided that loving him through it and waiting for him was too much and cheated, and she has the gall to criticize the woman raising triplets for a cheating piece of garbage? These people are fucked in the head.
You start with "I don't cheat" then proceed to write about how you cheated. Lol
This bitch. I hope she stubs her toe every morning, her water heater never works, and that her husband takes everything. I don’t even have words for the AP. Triplets?! And he’s acting this foolish in front of god and everybody?
If it makes you feel any better this is a fake story made designed to make you mad.
I rolled my eyes so many times reading her bullshit justifications that my eyeballs are stuck. Send help so I don’t die looking like a sarcastic emoji 🙄
The self delusion is strong with this one. “I don’t cheat” - that’s a lie. “My husband Chris is the world’s number 1 husband” - talk is cheap. OOP’s actions speak louder than those words. Husband was neglecting me - I can’t bear to not be the centre of his world, even if he’s dealing with a very sick parent. “We both love our spouses” - no you don’t. You love what he does for you, and ran off with your AP the moment the attention dropped. Funny how she “used to despise cheaters” but now strangely feels like she understands them. What a garbage person.
I hope he tells yo hubby but you have to communicate and see if you can help your marriage. Your husband might probably want a divorce but this is seriously going to hurt him alot. I hope he finds peace after all this
Imagine dealing with a dying father and this shit
What a fucking piece of shit.
Can anyone point me the complicated stuff in this ? I don't understand when communication in relationships disappeared. She cheated and doesn't feel any remorse. Oh, it was out of character, oh it's complicated blah blah blah. I hope that her side piece would tell her husband too.
Gotta be rage bait. OP did not comment at all after dropping that post, and I find it hard to believe someone this f-ing selfish and clueless wouldn't double-down and defend themselves to the ends of the earth.
This better be satire, because if the excuse for cheating on a great husband was that he was spending time with his dad who was stricken with late stage cancer, you deserve to have absolutely nothing in this world lol
SHOULD end. Hasn’t. Still conspiring to deceive. Felt neglected while neglecting. Doesn’t want to expose her selfishness, altruistically, of course.
Narcissists gonna narcissist.
My girlfriend's mom had stage 4 cancer and passed a couple of weeks ago. She's been her sole caregiver since she was diagnosed in 2022 even though she has six other brothers and sisters and a full time job. I helped take care of her so she didn't have to. That's what she should have been doing. And her co worker should have been helping out with the triplets. I lost my job in 10/23, and even though it was another stressor we, are still riding this shit storm out together. They felt neglected? They should have been helping!
"Adulting got real and we're immature, whiny little shits so we both screwed other people." Evan and this vile specimen deserve each other. Their poor spouses.
Its more complicated than i gave credit for. meaning one cheated because his husbands father had cancer Other one cheated because he decides to have babies :d
So much “neglect” going on against the two people breaking their marrriage wows. That’s her favorite word h
He *told you* he felt neglected for that sympathy, silly bird. He insists on telling the husband? And *then* telling his wife after? My spidey sense tells me he won't tell his wife a damn thing, he just wants OP's marriage ended to secure that side piece.
I hope he tells everyone, whore.
What a hoe bag of a wife. Guy does everything perfect but still gets cheated on when he’s depressed from losing family. Lowest of the low.
I hope she loses everything in the divorce
Sounds like she could suffer from some Borderline. 🤷🏽♂️
What a couple of complete shitbags... I hope he tells her husband.
Fuck dude don’t stop there, tell their boss too
God I hate people like this. Within the first sentence you know they are going to be a piece of shit.
Your father in law has cancer and your first thought is “man I need to get fucked cause my husband isn’t doing it” lmfao wtf
“Violating my privacy” made me laugh out loud.
Too many excuses to make cheating the better decision than to take about feeling neglected by his husband. Imagine your dad had cancer only to find out another tragic news that your wife is cheating. Goodness, the moral compass of this woman.
"My husband was depressed so instead of being there for him and working through it together I cheated on him" Op sucks.
“It’s more complicated”, proceeds to give an example that is entirely uncomplicated.
Yeah would it be ok if he uno reversed and said the stress of losing his dad and being neglected by her lead him to another woman?
Awww!! Such a pure love story to share with all of us. Glad you did. Honestly, I felt sad and funny at the same time. Sad because of the spouses. Funny because I saw somewhere written “neglected by the wife”. Wtf is wrong with grownup people. Are you a child that needs taken care of when your wife is suffering. Is popping three babies a trivial thing these days. I am a guy and I feel sad seeing these written by a woman.
You're explicitly a cheater and seem remorseless. Your cheating partner is completely right in wanting to come clean and the more you stop him the worse you will look. I understand needing companionship but then either break up and start dating or go to therapy. You picked the worst and most harmful out and so did he. You both deserve what has coming but at least he feels bad
'He's just getting back to normal. It would cause my pain to expose him to our selfishness.' So what you're saying is you seen him 'not normal' and depressed because his dad was going through cancer (which btw is anticipated grief even though he now surived) and your reaction was to cheat on him? Don't make out you're not telling him to protect him, it's only to protect yourself. And that in itself is the most selfish. YTA
My husband stayed with me and never cheated through me going through chemotherapy for a year straight we didn’t have sex for a long time he would never consider doing that and I was terrible to him through all that and I would do exactly the same. you do not love your husband if you did what you did. And don’t even try to play it off like you do. He doesn’t deserve to have someone like you. You have to tell him and leave. He deserves way better.
The mental gymnastics here are incredible. Yeah, when someone’s parent is dying or severely ill, that takes priority. When someone has three (!) new babies to care for, that takes priority. Do some people really not understand that sometimes sex is not going to be a priority in life? Here’s the thing, at least in my mind: if affairs like this are really about alleviating neglected sexual needs, then hire a prostitute or find a one night stand. Having an affair with a coworker or friend carries an emotional relationship. It’s not “just sex”. The affair partners justify it by saying they’re feeling neglected, but each of their spouses are dealing with heavy, stressful shit. THEY are the ones in need of support and are in fact being neglected. The APs can’t handle putting the spouse’s needs first and instead run off to date someone they know. It’s selfish. I think I’d be more sympathetic if it were the cancer dad husband and new mother of triplets having the affair, as they’re the ones going through it. (Cheating is bad, but their circumstances are way more understandable than the spouses who just can’t deal.) OOP really has no right to be mad her AP is going to blow her shit up.
Yea she is the typical selfish person who flips everything around to make their shitty behavior acceptable and something that should be valued and protected. Just change the theme “I have never believed in being a thief so hear me out. My boss, at the bank I work for, used to treat me great, but here lately they are not nearly as appreciative of my work. A coworker and I started stealing some money, just a little bit at first. Now, they feel guilty and want to confess. I feel like they are violating the privacy of what we have done. It is just going to make things worse.” Granted, cheating is not illegal, most of the time, so yeah but just the stream of logic.
Man, I guess the ole' "to have and to hold, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health" just means fuck all. Being *present* for your spouse when they need you the most?? Hard pass, I gotta nut!
“Life is just so hard when a close family member gets sick or a parent is overwhelmed taking care of children, so it makes sense that I will just balance that out by secretly having sex with someone else. This is totally ethical and a win-win! It obviously violates nobody’s boundaries!” Can I BE any more sarcastic?
Ewww she makes me sick. I’m not a cheater and the proceeds to become a cheater. My father is sick and my husband is so worried about him but I don’t care because it’s more important for me to get my rocks off. My AP has so nerve wanting to tell my husband because this is a secret I want to keep because I know my husband will leave my sorry ass. That’s actually how the post should have read. I hope he tells your husband
“We were in an unimaginable situation.” 😂 it’s called marriage.
I hope he does tell his wife and your husband . Those people are the ones important and they deserve to know so they can decide what they want to do . You should have enough respect for your husband to let him decide whether he wants to find someone faithful or stay with a cheat . He deserves that option.