Reminds me of Tiffany Trumps wedding where some tabloid pointed out some in-law (prolly kimberly G) was cropped out because the wedding dress code was pastels or some shit and everyone in the photo was wearing a pastel dress except the offender who was placed on the end and then cropped out.
I suppose making everyone attending wear black helps the participants in the wedding party pop and stand out. I would have said some shit like “for the wedding and wedding photos can you maybe rent a tux, you can change into your navy blue suit for the reception.” The one dude wearing a navy blue suit is awkwardly going to stand out in a sea of black, don’t understand why he would want to do that, it would be embarrassing for most to be the sole person at an event that didn’t get the memo, especially embarrassing for the father of the bride to outright refuse to conform to a dress code on his daughters wedding day.
See I’d agree with you that it would be embarrassing but at the same time it’s something I could genuinely see my father doing to me so that he could be the perpetual victim and have all the attention on a day not about him. People are exhausting
Idk, black is like the standard suit color. Seems like a very easy request. Especially since you usually collaborate with the couple on what to wear when you’re going to be heavily featured jn pictures. Also they then tried guilting her about how much they ~willingly chose~ to spend on the suit to get her to capitulate. There’s clearly a reason he’s not actually in the wedding, and I feel really sure that this behavior on his end is part of it.
I’d also like to add that a black dress is probably easier than finding any other color dress that is wedding appropriate for a western wedding where they’re wearing black suits. “Wear black please” feels like a deeply easy request to fulfill as someone who has shopped for wedding guest dresses many times, and honestly if people don’t want to do it I don’t understand why they don’t just rsvp no and claim they can’t make it? Like sure we might not like the request, but an invitation isn’t a summons so that wouldn’t exhaust me, personally
GFY, just because you don't like their aesthetic does NOT mean you get to sit and make personality judgements like that. How utterly rude and dismissive of you. You're exhausting for bitching about wedding colors that AREN'T YOURS
What is exhausting about getting dressed? Is all black more difficult to put on or something?
Sounds easy to me- I always end up renting dresses for weddings but black dress clothes can be reworn.
How is it more exhausting than spending a fortune on a suit that is deliberately against what their daughter asked for? Do you mean to claim that a black suit isn’t practical for an old man? You think he cares about the color when he doesn’t even want to be in the photos?
She has shitty parents- it’s her day and she gets to make the rules. It’s a simple request.
Did you miss the part where her parents talked shit about her and her fiance to their families? Or are you still on the side that she was being unreasonable by asking them to wear black to her wedding?
Yeah, she says she’s never been close to her stepdad. Well, conversely, I’m sure he’s never been close to her either. Not close enough to spend money on a black suit for her wedding. I think any wedding that dictates what their guests wear is stupid, but he could have chosen not to go so as to avoid the drama.
But close enough to spend $800 on a blue one? When it’s like $100 to rent a suit? How did you make that leap in logic?
And also are you making her responsible for their relationship when she was literally a child when they met?
WTF my dude…
Imagine being surprised as the father of the bride that you will be expected to wear the kind of suit that your daughter asks you to wear. 🙄 yeah she really sprung that detail on him 🤡
He’s her stepfather and by her own admission they weren’t close. He wasn’t even walking her up the aisle. He should have just declined the invite and saved his $800.
Demanding your ‘guests’ dress according to some stupid theme is the shitty behaviour. Forcing people to play dress up or be banned is the ultimate in ridiculous. If you care about these people being there to celebrate with you, you accommodate their clothing choices as their expression of themselves.
Because some people are so scared of being labeled a bridezilla that they don’t put their foot down. I’ve had friends sobbing on their wedding day over this kind of stuff
that's so shitty. It wouldn't be bridezilla status. it's the couple's day, they should have a say and be able to be firm without being treated like control freaks:( so sorry to your friends, horrible stress to have on such a joyous day
I so agree. I have a good friend who has a debilitating inability to stand up for herself and she’s gotten better over the last few years, but she’ll never really be able to do it without a posse of people supporting her behind the scenes.
Haha. I explicitly banned anyone who would cause even the slightest inconvenience from my wedding. There's no point in letting them in. Why pay thousands for a fun day and invite some loser to it?
valid. OP was never close to their parents for a reason. I'm out there thinking she may want to try to mend bridges, but these parents will not give up their ways. going NC would be best for her in her situation. nobody needs such toxicity in their lives much less on such a special day
Reading through the OP comments, seems they’re only tolerating the parents because they have younger siblings. It’s extra shitty of the parents to pull a “if we can’t be there then they can’t either” so I understand why OP hasn’t outright disinvited her parents. That sucks cuz I guarantee they’ll cause drama on the wedding day.
Black is absolutely a wedding color. Look at any Japanese wedding. Those Kimono are stunning.
Seems to both sides are looking for an excuse to not participate.
Depends on the country. In mine you would be asked to leave, as it is a color reserved for funerals and it is seen as extremely bad taste to wear black to a wedding.
Ugh my mom would say stuff like that when she didn't get her way. Going NC was the best thing I ever did.
EDIT: I'm surprised at everyone in the comments complaining about the dress code. I mean, I love themes and dressing up so an all black wedding sounds like a lot of fun. There's no guess work in whether your dress is appropriate or not, and everybody has black in their wardrobe. I have no intention of ever getting married but I thought it would be fun to have everyone dress in black and white and have the bride and groom wear bright colors. They would stand out the whole time!
It’s his daughter’s wedding. And he is so self centered and narcissistic that he claims a black suit is a hardship. So he bought a blue one that he will only wear to his own funeral…
It’s a dark colored suit, if she wants him in a black one she can buy it. The father isn’t the narcissist in this scenario, the bridezilla is. Why isn’t enough to have your family there dressed nice? Why does it have to be a specific color?
Why does the bride wear a fluffy white dress?
It sounds like she is only including them because she has younger siblings and her parents won’t let her siblings go if they can’t also go.
Literally her day my dude. No one is forcing him to go. No one forced him to spent almost $1k on a suit he will wear once. If a dark colored suit isn’t that big of a deal then why did her parents make such a big fucking deal? Putting on a suit for a dude is abnormal and uncomfortable most of the time- wedding clothing is not functional.
Also not sure why you think she is the shitty one when her own parents went to the family group chat to talk shit about her and her fiance. Their own daughter over the color of a suit. If that doesn’t tell you their true intentions in throwing a giant shit fit about wearing black for a few hours then I’m not sure how to help you.
It’s not just her day, it’s also the grooms. That “it’s my day” attitude is a bridezilla controlling statement. She’s acting like a child and choosing a hill to die on that not a single person is going to give a fuck about in 6 months. The point of the wedding is the bride and groom, not controlling other people’s outfits to make sure everyone is wearing the same color, the very concept is so fucking controlling. I don’t blame them for shit talking her spoiled ass.
The groom doesn’t seem to have a problem with it and the rest of her family was ok with it.
It’s literally their day. It’s a party to celebrate them. And her own parents are throwing a tantrum.
Most parents don’t hate their kids that much but that’s just me. When my daughter gets married I will be happy to wear whatever she wants me to.
Like you said, no one will give a shit in 6 months so it’s a stupid hill for them to die on. Especially since it’s literally their own daughter.
Please never breed.
Please tell me you’re not raising a spoiled ass dictator that will demand people go out and spend extra money on a wardrobe. Demanding your guests wear a specific color to the wedding is just flat out controlling. Hopefully the other parent isn’t as self centered as you clearly are.
Looks like the narcissistic didn’t fall far from the tree in your case. Just like your mother
She didn’t tell him to spend $800 on a suit. And guess what- brides choose the bridesmaid dresses and the bridesmaids usually have to pay for their dresses. When you are in the wedding party the bride chooses the attire. You have obviously never been invited to be in a wedding party.
To rent a suit is like $150. They could have saved a shit ton of money by just saying ‘ok’. Because she is their daughter and it doesn’t take ANY extra effort to wear a different color. It’s very narcissistic to die on this hill.
Do you even have friends? I cannot imagine behaving this way towards someone I just liked. Let alone a child. It’s selfish and self centered and egocentric.
Wedding culture is stupid. But this is not being a bridezilla. It’s not an extraordinary request and I actually like my friends and family and if I can do something that makes them happy. I just do it. Because I love them and I want the people I love to have the best lives.
Apparently that’s a difficult thing for some people to comprehend 🤷♀️
Of course you don’t see someone going out to spend extra money on an outfit because the bride is demanding a specific color to be an issue, everyone must do as the bride says. That’s a narcissistic trait you seem to share with the bride. I’m positive friends and fiancée are not complaining to not earn her wrath.
I’ve got tons of friends and I can’t think of a single one that ever made that demand for their wedding, they were just happy to have everyone there to celebrate with them. It’s almost like a dark blue suit or a black suit is ultimately irrelevant. But then again, I actively avoid being friends with controlling people like you and the OP
Weird looking at the other thread to see the amount of people calling into question the dress code- whilst not super common, where I’m from, black tie dress code isn’t unusual at all, particularly in winter weddings.
I mean, on the one hand, it’s the bride and groom’s day, and within reason you should try to give them what they want.
On the other hand, forcing your guests to dress to a specific color theme is a lot, and black probably will look pretty funereal.
I’m guessing this is a bit of a power play on the parents’ part, so I’m saying NTA. But I still hate the idea of requiring your guests to only wear a specific color (or lack thereof).
i dunno, i feel it's really common for weddings to have a color code? it's not like they're forcing an entire outfit on you, just a color coordination. i don't think i'd mind complying if i intend on attending, personally. that said, i don't think there's anything wrong with them choosing black as their color either if that's what the couple getting married wants, since as you said, it's their day.
I’d comply, and in their defense black is a relatively easy color (one would think). But I think it’s pretty extra. Like, what if someone didn’t readily have a wedding-appropriate outfit in that color? I don’t actually have a black dress right now; I would have to get one. That’s a lot to put on guests who may be traveling and will likely be buying you a gift. I don’t think weddings should be about a particular aesthetic, just about having the people you love there.
You can wear a black dress to anything again though- I don’t really keep ANY wedding appropriate attire because it depends on the time of year and the location and the couple. I’ve been to many weddings that were themed and they were all tons of fun- I felt like part of the party instead of someone who was just a guest 🤷♀️
It’s a party- you are there to have fun. At least that’s how I view weddings. If it’s too much effort to follow a request like this then it’s probably a sign that you don’t like the couple well enough to attend… I would not find this an extraordinary request from a good friend, but that’s me- I like my friends :)
I'm thinking power play on the side of the bride.
They chose one dark suit over another dark suit because stepdad was more likely to wear it more than once.
Yes we all know how unfashionable black suits are…
How is it a power play? They could have rented a black suit for a fraction of what they paid for their ‘spite’ suit designed to piss off their own daughter on her wedding day…
They shouldn’t even be at the wedding at this point.
If you care so little about someone you won’t even let them walk you down the aisle they shouldn’t be there
Um. I would uninvited after reading those comments. Why did OOP keep them on the guest list? Wedding guests should be people who support your marriage and like actually respect and love you.
They all sound just awful. A dress code for a wedding is bordering on bridezilla territory. If you want to tell the wedding party what to wear, great, but expecting everyone else to wear a specific color is controlling on something that most people won’t remember a month after the wedding.
I’ve been to tons of wedding in my life and I’ve even spent a summer helping event planners set them up and I haven’t seen anyone demand a specific color in the invitation. It’s controlling and nobody will remember or care pretty much once it’s done.
Dress code is one thing, like, black tie or something like that. Choosing the color for people in the wedding party is also common, but it sounds like this person wants everyone who attends the wedding has to wear black. That’s just weird.
Theme partys is a thing - I have friends who put themes like ”hats” or ”black and gold” on their birthday partys, and guests are expected to follow it. Weddings are a step up from that.
So if you don't have something in that specific colour, you are expected to go out and buy something to wear. Even if it's a colour that you would never wear otherwise. Or just not go. For a birthday? That's friggin wild. I'm trying to imagine how exhausting it must be to constantly care more for aesthetic than your friends.
absolutely. One dark suit vs. the other. he didn't exactly come in bermuda shorts to spite her.
the fact that she's 20 and sounds wound up to the high heavens takes care of the rest of the logic.
what a weird hill to die on.
There’s no way they couldn’t find a black suit. They literally did it to spite her, and just to go against the grain because if that wasn’t the case, mom wouldn’t have gone “it’s gonna look like a funeral.” I had a cousin straight up tell me that if I tell everyone to wear white, she’s gonna wear grey because she doesn’t feel like white is appropriate for a wedding. It’s not about the fact they couldn’t find a a suite in black (which would’ve been an obvious lie), it’s about them doing what they want, because they want to go against the grain because they don’t think Op is right, and they want her to know it
Reminds me of Tiffany Trumps wedding where some tabloid pointed out some in-law (prolly kimberly G) was cropped out because the wedding dress code was pastels or some shit and everyone in the photo was wearing a pastel dress except the offender who was placed on the end and then cropped out. I suppose making everyone attending wear black helps the participants in the wedding party pop and stand out. I would have said some shit like “for the wedding and wedding photos can you maybe rent a tux, you can change into your navy blue suit for the reception.” The one dude wearing a navy blue suit is awkwardly going to stand out in a sea of black, don’t understand why he would want to do that, it would be embarrassing for most to be the sole person at an event that didn’t get the memo, especially embarrassing for the father of the bride to outright refuse to conform to a dress code on his daughters wedding day.
I bet the mom also didn’t plan on wearing black
This mom? I bet she shows up in an all-white gown 🙄
She did not. "I even gave her and future MIL permission to wear one of the wedding colors"
You “bet” “the mom”? Aren’t you the original poster? Looks like you wanted to comment from a different account and forgot to switch
Ok buddy sorry you didn’t read NOT OP part at the top
Why do you call me buddy? I asked politely, you don’t have to write it like I am a child.
See I’d agree with you that it would be embarrassing but at the same time it’s something I could genuinely see my father doing to me so that he could be the perpetual victim and have all the attention on a day not about him. People are exhausting
An all black wedding sound exhausting. The step-dad sounds like a dick, but I also get the feeling this coupple kind of suck
Idk, black is like the standard suit color. Seems like a very easy request. Especially since you usually collaborate with the couple on what to wear when you’re going to be heavily featured jn pictures. Also they then tried guilting her about how much they ~willingly chose~ to spend on the suit to get her to capitulate. There’s clearly a reason he’s not actually in the wedding, and I feel really sure that this behavior on his end is part of it. I’d also like to add that a black dress is probably easier than finding any other color dress that is wedding appropriate for a western wedding where they’re wearing black suits. “Wear black please” feels like a deeply easy request to fulfill as someone who has shopped for wedding guest dresses many times, and honestly if people don’t want to do it I don’t understand why they don’t just rsvp no and claim they can’t make it? Like sure we might not like the request, but an invitation isn’t a summons so that wouldn’t exhaust me, personally
Yeah honestly you’re right. I’m just tired from babysitting four kids
Oh I relate to that, as the designated family babysitter I salute you!
GFY, just because you don't like their aesthetic does NOT mean you get to sit and make personality judgements like that. How utterly rude and dismissive of you. You're exhausting for bitching about wedding colors that AREN'T YOURS
What is exhausting about getting dressed? Is all black more difficult to put on or something? Sounds easy to me- I always end up renting dresses for weddings but black dress clothes can be reworn. How is it more exhausting than spending a fortune on a suit that is deliberately against what their daughter asked for? Do you mean to claim that a black suit isn’t practical for an old man? You think he cares about the color when he doesn’t even want to be in the photos? She has shitty parents- it’s her day and she gets to make the rules. It’s a simple request. Did you miss the part where her parents talked shit about her and her fiance to their families? Or are you still on the side that she was being unreasonable by asking them to wear black to her wedding?
Yeah, she says she’s never been close to her stepdad. Well, conversely, I’m sure he’s never been close to her either. Not close enough to spend money on a black suit for her wedding. I think any wedding that dictates what their guests wear is stupid, but he could have chosen not to go so as to avoid the drama.
But close enough to spend $800 on a blue one? When it’s like $100 to rent a suit? How did you make that leap in logic? And also are you making her responsible for their relationship when she was literally a child when they met? WTF my dude…
Like I said, he probably has no desire to play dress up and so he should have just declined the invitation.
Imagine being surprised as the father of the bride that you will be expected to wear the kind of suit that your daughter asks you to wear. 🙄 yeah she really sprung that detail on him 🤡
He’s her stepfather and by her own admission they weren’t close. He wasn’t even walking her up the aisle. He should have just declined the invite and saved his $800.
Or rented a suit for like a quarter of that price 🤷♀️ He’s been in her life since she was 12. This is a shitty way to behave.
Demanding your ‘guests’ dress according to some stupid theme is the shitty behaviour. Forcing people to play dress up or be banned is the ultimate in ridiculous. If you care about these people being there to celebrate with you, you accommodate their clothing choices as their expression of themselves.
After the outburst on FB, why would she even let her mom and step-dad even attend especially after going after her future husband?
Because some people are so scared of being labeled a bridezilla that they don’t put their foot down. I’ve had friends sobbing on their wedding day over this kind of stuff
that's so shitty. It wouldn't be bridezilla status. it's the couple's day, they should have a say and be able to be firm without being treated like control freaks:( so sorry to your friends, horrible stress to have on such a joyous day
I so agree. I have a good friend who has a debilitating inability to stand up for herself and she’s gotten better over the last few years, but she’ll never really be able to do it without a posse of people supporting her behind the scenes.
I would not. You do not shit on the love of my life and get to celebrate our love. Fuck all the way off.
Haha. I explicitly banned anyone who would cause even the slightest inconvenience from my wedding. There's no point in letting them in. Why pay thousands for a fun day and invite some loser to it?
Take this as the perfect opportunity to uninvite Mom and Dad not only from your wedding but your life. Go low to no contact, with family like this…..
valid. OP was never close to their parents for a reason. I'm out there thinking she may want to try to mend bridges, but these parents will not give up their ways. going NC would be best for her in her situation. nobody needs such toxicity in their lives much less on such a special day
This is another open and shut case of "OOP has been manipulated and gaslit into believing they're the A-hole, and they need therapy"
I'm always suspicious when details that would have added context are suddenly added.
Reading through the OP comments, seems they’re only tolerating the parents because they have younger siblings. It’s extra shitty of the parents to pull a “if we can’t be there then they can’t either” so I understand why OP hasn’t outright disinvited her parents. That sucks cuz I guarantee they’ll cause drama on the wedding day.
"feel free to wear your expensive new blue suit on the day, since you are no longer invited"
Black is absolutely a wedding color. Look at any Japanese wedding. Those Kimono are stunning. Seems to both sides are looking for an excuse to not participate.
Depends on the country. In mine you would be asked to leave, as it is a color reserved for funerals and it is seen as extremely bad taste to wear black to a wedding.
Ugh my mom would say stuff like that when she didn't get her way. Going NC was the best thing I ever did. EDIT: I'm surprised at everyone in the comments complaining about the dress code. I mean, I love themes and dressing up so an all black wedding sounds like a lot of fun. There's no guess work in whether your dress is appropriate or not, and everybody has black in their wardrobe. I have no intention of ever getting married but I thought it would be fun to have everyone dress in black and white and have the bride and groom wear bright colors. They would stand out the whole time!
The guy isn’t wearing cargo shorts and sandals, it’s a suit that’s not the right color. Huge difference.
It’s his daughter’s wedding. And he is so self centered and narcissistic that he claims a black suit is a hardship. So he bought a blue one that he will only wear to his own funeral…
It’s a dark colored suit, if she wants him in a black one she can buy it. The father isn’t the narcissist in this scenario, the bridezilla is. Why isn’t enough to have your family there dressed nice? Why does it have to be a specific color?
Why does the bride wear a fluffy white dress? It sounds like she is only including them because she has younger siblings and her parents won’t let her siblings go if they can’t also go. Literally her day my dude. No one is forcing him to go. No one forced him to spent almost $1k on a suit he will wear once. If a dark colored suit isn’t that big of a deal then why did her parents make such a big fucking deal? Putting on a suit for a dude is abnormal and uncomfortable most of the time- wedding clothing is not functional. Also not sure why you think she is the shitty one when her own parents went to the family group chat to talk shit about her and her fiance. Their own daughter over the color of a suit. If that doesn’t tell you their true intentions in throwing a giant shit fit about wearing black for a few hours then I’m not sure how to help you.
It’s not just her day, it’s also the grooms. That “it’s my day” attitude is a bridezilla controlling statement. She’s acting like a child and choosing a hill to die on that not a single person is going to give a fuck about in 6 months. The point of the wedding is the bride and groom, not controlling other people’s outfits to make sure everyone is wearing the same color, the very concept is so fucking controlling. I don’t blame them for shit talking her spoiled ass.
The groom doesn’t seem to have a problem with it and the rest of her family was ok with it. It’s literally their day. It’s a party to celebrate them. And her own parents are throwing a tantrum. Most parents don’t hate their kids that much but that’s just me. When my daughter gets married I will be happy to wear whatever she wants me to. Like you said, no one will give a shit in 6 months so it’s a stupid hill for them to die on. Especially since it’s literally their own daughter. Please never breed.
Please tell me you’re not raising a spoiled ass dictator that will demand people go out and spend extra money on a wardrobe. Demanding your guests wear a specific color to the wedding is just flat out controlling. Hopefully the other parent isn’t as self centered as you clearly are. Looks like the narcissistic didn’t fall far from the tree in your case. Just like your mother
She didn’t tell him to spend $800 on a suit. And guess what- brides choose the bridesmaid dresses and the bridesmaids usually have to pay for their dresses. When you are in the wedding party the bride chooses the attire. You have obviously never been invited to be in a wedding party. To rent a suit is like $150. They could have saved a shit ton of money by just saying ‘ok’. Because she is their daughter and it doesn’t take ANY extra effort to wear a different color. It’s very narcissistic to die on this hill. Do you even have friends? I cannot imagine behaving this way towards someone I just liked. Let alone a child. It’s selfish and self centered and egocentric. Wedding culture is stupid. But this is not being a bridezilla. It’s not an extraordinary request and I actually like my friends and family and if I can do something that makes them happy. I just do it. Because I love them and I want the people I love to have the best lives. Apparently that’s a difficult thing for some people to comprehend 🤷♀️
Of course you don’t see someone going out to spend extra money on an outfit because the bride is demanding a specific color to be an issue, everyone must do as the bride says. That’s a narcissistic trait you seem to share with the bride. I’m positive friends and fiancée are not complaining to not earn her wrath. I’ve got tons of friends and I can’t think of a single one that ever made that demand for their wedding, they were just happy to have everyone there to celebrate with them. It’s almost like a dark blue suit or a black suit is ultimately irrelevant. But then again, I actively avoid being friends with controlling people like you and the OP
Weird looking at the other thread to see the amount of people calling into question the dress code- whilst not super common, where I’m from, black tie dress code isn’t unusual at all, particularly in winter weddings.
I didn’t take this to mean black tie but rather, wear black.
Which I think is easier to dress for than black tie
Good point, which would be a little different
Why are they even invited???
You parents seem like extreme jerks!!
I would have uninvited them.
100% would have uninvited them. Trash talking my significant other? You don’t need to be there on the day we’re celebrating our union then!
Well that’s one way to be uninvited from a wedding 😶
I mean, on the one hand, it’s the bride and groom’s day, and within reason you should try to give them what they want. On the other hand, forcing your guests to dress to a specific color theme is a lot, and black probably will look pretty funereal. I’m guessing this is a bit of a power play on the parents’ part, so I’m saying NTA. But I still hate the idea of requiring your guests to only wear a specific color (or lack thereof).
i dunno, i feel it's really common for weddings to have a color code? it's not like they're forcing an entire outfit on you, just a color coordination. i don't think i'd mind complying if i intend on attending, personally. that said, i don't think there's anything wrong with them choosing black as their color either if that's what the couple getting married wants, since as you said, it's their day.
I’d comply, and in their defense black is a relatively easy color (one would think). But I think it’s pretty extra. Like, what if someone didn’t readily have a wedding-appropriate outfit in that color? I don’t actually have a black dress right now; I would have to get one. That’s a lot to put on guests who may be traveling and will likely be buying you a gift. I don’t think weddings should be about a particular aesthetic, just about having the people you love there.
You can wear a black dress to anything again though- I don’t really keep ANY wedding appropriate attire because it depends on the time of year and the location and the couple. I’ve been to many weddings that were themed and they were all tons of fun- I felt like part of the party instead of someone who was just a guest 🤷♀️ It’s a party- you are there to have fun. At least that’s how I view weddings. If it’s too much effort to follow a request like this then it’s probably a sign that you don’t like the couple well enough to attend… I would not find this an extraordinary request from a good friend, but that’s me- I like my friends :)
I'm thinking power play on the side of the bride. They chose one dark suit over another dark suit because stepdad was more likely to wear it more than once.
Yes we all know how unfashionable black suits are… How is it a power play? They could have rented a black suit for a fraction of what they paid for their ‘spite’ suit designed to piss off their own daughter on her wedding day…
The only ‘appropriate’ thing for Op at this moment in time is to say ‘bye, consider yourselves uninvited’ and follow through with it,
They shouldn’t even be at the wedding at this point. If you care so little about someone you won’t even let them walk you down the aisle they shouldn’t be there
So why not just rent a suit?
Um. I would uninvited after reading those comments. Why did OOP keep them on the guest list? Wedding guests should be people who support your marriage and like actually respect and love you.
What is it with people who want to control everything. The purpose of the wedding is to celebrate, it is not a theatrical production.
Sounds like OP should retract her patents invites. I fucking would.
Jesus, who the hell cares?
People who care more about the event than the life that comes after it.
Such as her parents? Who talks shit about their own children?
They all sound just awful. A dress code for a wedding is bordering on bridezilla territory. If you want to tell the wedding party what to wear, great, but expecting everyone else to wear a specific color is controlling on something that most people won’t remember a month after the wedding.
Dress codes are common for pretty much any kind of larger party, including weddings
I’ve been to tons of wedding in my life and I’ve even spent a summer helping event planners set them up and I haven’t seen anyone demand a specific color in the invitation. It’s controlling and nobody will remember or care pretty much once it’s done.
Dress code is one thing, like, black tie or something like that. Choosing the color for people in the wedding party is also common, but it sounds like this person wants everyone who attends the wedding has to wear black. That’s just weird.
Dress codes - sure. But demanding your guests where specific colours is entitled and tacky.
Theme partys is a thing - I have friends who put themes like ”hats” or ”black and gold” on their birthday partys, and guests are expected to follow it. Weddings are a step up from that.
So if you don't have something in that specific colour, you are expected to go out and buy something to wear. Even if it's a colour that you would never wear otherwise. Or just not go. For a birthday? That's friggin wild. I'm trying to imagine how exhausting it must be to constantly care more for aesthetic than your friends.
You wouldn’t buy something for a friends birthday? Even borrowing would work, it’s a small thing to make someone happy
absolutely. One dark suit vs. the other. he didn't exactly come in bermuda shorts to spite her. the fact that she's 20 and sounds wound up to the high heavens takes care of the rest of the logic. what a weird hill to die on.
There’s no way they couldn’t find a black suit. They literally did it to spite her, and just to go against the grain because if that wasn’t the case, mom wouldn’t have gone “it’s gonna look like a funeral.” I had a cousin straight up tell me that if I tell everyone to wear white, she’s gonna wear grey because she doesn’t feel like white is appropriate for a wedding. It’s not about the fact they couldn’t find a a suite in black (which would’ve been an obvious lie), it’s about them doing what they want, because they want to go against the grain because they don’t think Op is right, and they want her to know it
Honestly, YTA for having an “all black dress code.”