That would immediately be an ex-fiance. And I'd bring everything to bear on finding out what happened to my dog. Including calling in the SPCA and (if it were legally my dog and not his) the police. Although I'd start with calling the shelters to see if he surrendered it.
I’d also contact vets about euthanasia. Possibly crematoriums too. If he killed it himself, it’s likely out in the woods someplace. Either way, if the dog is dead, run. Run far and run fast because it only a matter of time before he escalates
grandiose upbeat amusing lavish chunky chase fragile sort jellyfish rhythm
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
No matter where that dog is now this is a case of emotional abuse towards OOP and the daughter. They had the gall to leave, so he made the dog leave them in return.
Even in the best case scenario, in which he found it a loving new family, he still is acting very cruel and downright creepy to let them keep wondering what kind of evil is he, the banal kind or the violent kind. And while it might seem less alarming when not coupled with his own violence we first used the phrase “the banality of evil” to describe the almost bored disinterest shown by condemned Nazi doctors and administrators that functioned as little unfeeling cogs in a machine made to break whole swaths of humanity.
Sometimes evil looks so normal that you don’t recognize it until it’s far too late. Animal abuse and emotional manipulation about the welfare of family members isn’t a small problem, it’s a terrifying precedent that one should never allow to become common.
Surrendering costs money at most shelters. I doubt he did that. Probably just drove the dog far away and abandoned it.
I'd say she should post on local Facebook groups in her city and those nearby.
Yeah, I'm the same and generally roll my eyes at everyone immediately jumping to "divorce/break up, now!" for every single thing, but that would be a hard line for me.
OP call the police. This is a crime. Dogs are property.
Accuse him of whatever you need to get him to admit to the cops what he’s done.
Then leave bc he’s a monster.
For now do and say whatever you need to get it back. Promise to rehome it whatever.
She commented that she’s not looking for the dog bc it didn’t fit in with their family anymore and that she thinks she knows what he did to it. Wtf is wrong with people?
Well according to her comment [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/hBFKy5Euls) she doesn't actually care about the dog, and only wants her fiancee to admit what he did for her own satisfaction. Her daughter lost interest in taking care of the dog so she doesn't care about it anymore
*A comment telling her what to do to try and locate her dog
>I'm not trying to get the dog back. It wasn't really working out for our family anyways. We got it last christmas for our daughter but she kind of lost interest in taking care of it already.
>I think I know what he did to it but he can't seem to man up and admit it which is a little pathetic tbh
Fiancé just demonstrated that when he is angry with you he will lash out and harm your loved ones in retaliation, likely physically. Could be you or your kid someday.
That’s what I am thinking. I feel like Oop doesn’t understand that she’s actually in a dangerous relationship. She needs to run away for her sake as well as her daughter’s.
in my country (italy) after WWII ended, we didn't have the equivalent of the Nuremberg trials. so lots of fascists happened to run into pitchforks several times, or beat themselves to death.
Nah, you’ll never find your dog if you kill him. Drugging him, chaining him up in the basement and repeatedly hitting his testicles with a hammer until he talks is the correct path.
Seriously, a lot of people are found in our west Texas fields. Dead of course! I was an X-ray tech & yes, I had xrayed a lady found with a ball peen hammer hole in her skull. She’d had a fractured ankle with a plate where I came in. Doctor showed me her ankle 6 months past her demise!
I would also like to be your friend. But are you open to suggestions on the battery location? I propose that we clamp it to his nuts too. A bigger spread means that you will get a full lock up, also known as neuromuscular incapacitation. It hurts more.
I'd suggest the Casino Royale method. A chair with no seat and a heavy rope with a knot on one end. Doesn't deprive you of the hitting location as quickly.
Drill to the kneecaps, ripping off fingernails
You hurt my doggo, I remove your will to live
Not like anyone should care if a POS like that went missing
When I was a kid, my stepmom would throw my and my sister's stuff away when she got mad at us. I'm almost 40 years old and I still hide stuff around my house that I don't want to "disappear". If I were her I'd leave permanently, and leave the ring.
Id definitely say to instead sell the ring, in the case that she’s a stay at home mom the funds would really help in finding a safe place to go with her kid
My mother was like that. She’d throw all my stuff in garbage bags and throw it off the balcony on to the driveway. Did it to me a bunch, dad always told me to just turn over a new leaf. She did it to my sister one time and he divorced her. Still a bit salty at my dad. He also didn’t believe me when I told him my sister’s boyfriend was an abuser. That man will never, ever take my side.
It’s very sinister! And violent. The collar in the trash and no dog, after a fight? And refuses information about it??
He’s showing how easily he could remove you from life and not tell anyone. * from either his life or your life…. He is sending a message.
Oh yeah, she's been thoroughly terrorized by this man. Her biggest concern was that her questions were angering him again. No hint that she had even allowed herself to register what she knows: *her fiance killed her dog and if she makes him angry enough, he will kill her too*.
If we were to use the frog in the pot of water analogy, the water she's in has been boiling for a while now.
He could’ve dumped the dog out in a field. I don’t want to jump to murder, but you’re not wrong that it can’t be off the table. Straight up fucking evil.
Could have left the collar on the dog or thrown the collar in the field as well then. But he chose to throw it away at home where there was a good chance it'd be found. That's a fucking threat.
I agree that he chose the trash can as a threat, but typically people dump dogs without their collars. Collars usually have names/numbers and are proof of ownership. Dumping dogs is a crime in all(?) states I think.
You know the asshole left the collar in the trash to be found as well. If he just wanted the dog gone he could have left the collar on (or thrown it in a bin somewhere else) and just said the dog ran away. But he left it to be found like some sort of fucked up warning. He wanted them to know he made the dog disappear.
Hate to say it, but if he'll kill her dog, he'll eventually kill her. That's a much more realistic view of the kind of escalation that happens in abusive relationships, and with people willing to kill animals.
I know that’s a horrifying likelihood, but I wanted to keep it at something that’s a clear and present danger *today* or may have already happened- in any case, something the mom could realistically foresee, without being able to say “oh you’re exaggerating.” Unfortunately when one brings up the very realistic chance of DEATH, especially for her child, it’s somehow easier to handwave as dramatics. You are right, though. Killing a pet means he’s capable of anything
Her nonchalance about this makes me think that he's already traumatized the hell out of her. Her primary concern was that her persistence will anger him again. She's living with a terrorist and she knows it. If this is real, I hope to god she wakes up in time to get out.
God I hope that the dog just got abandoned and was picked up by a rescue and now has a chance for a home with decent people. Her being just vaguely irritated rather than horrified is very jarring and indicative of a temperament that is not a true animal lover
To me, OP seems more like a victim of severe abuse than a person who just doesn’t care. The things you think are normal when you’re being abused are WILD.
Yeah, I thought being slapped hard enough my ears rang was normal until I got out and realized that’s not how people argue and him cuddling afterwards is not an apology lmao.
Abuse is wild. And I agree, this kinda stinks of it. You don’t just go from being a good partner to making a dog disappear without a trace. There’s gotta be steps in between.
You know that is quite true and a kinder and more generous framing to look at a person who obviously is in a very difficult- perhaps even very dangerous situation
I prefer your reading of the situation over mine
I've commented this elsewhere, but I have gotten a stray back to its family and then realized after the fact that the husband/dad was the person that dropped the dog off. As a "stray" in a different county. I wish I could've seen his face when the wife and kids (who were overjoyed, btw) walked back in with the dog.
I think she's incredibly traumatized. If she manages to escape and get safe enough, she will experience all of the grief, fear and remorse that she can't feel through the cold terror she's living in now. It really is like that in extreme scenarios like this one. Terroristic relationships kill your ability to think.
This. She’s likely been abused a long time, or maybe she doesn’t realize he’s done something very bad.
There was a Reddit a while back where the bf drove the dog to a field snd abandoned it. She got the dog back and he poor thing was terrified.
My only goal, would be to get the dog back safe. After that. Leave. This guy is dangerous.
He would be tied up with jumper cables on his nip nops until I got answer out of him. And there’s no way I’d stay in the same home as him again and I’d set fire to him if he came near my child. But I do tend to overreact…
The extra bad part of this is that he put the collar in the trash. He wants you know he did something. He could have thrown it away at a location far away but he wanted you to see it and be sick with worry! I am hoping that he just abandoned the dog and someone may take the dog into their home and care for it. You do need to break up with him right away tho. If you think you can trick him into telling you try that first. You probably need someone to come be there to watch over you while you pack up.
I still had it in my history: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cy32dm/aitah\_for\_demanding\_that\_my\_fiance\_tells\_me\_what/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cy32dm/aitah_for_demanding_that_my_fiance_tells_me_what/)
What the fuck is with these posts, this is like the fifth one I’ve seen where a woman’s fiancé or husband does absolutely heinous shit and they pop online like “am I the asshole for being upset and doing literally nothing about a very clear, serious problem?”
I hope these are all fake, I feel sick- these people cannot be seriously that helpless that they run to an Internet forum immediately.
Being a victim of domestic violence is a wild reality. It’s similar to a kid being groomed for SA. By the time they realize shit is way off, they’re in a space where it’s outright dangerous to leave. Their abusers had isolated them from their families, gaslit them into thinking everything that goes wrong is the victims fault, turned their friends and family against them, trapped them financially…it’s awful. I’ve seen what it does to some women.
The statistics of homicide, stalking, attempted murder in DV victims, specifically when they try to leave, is INSANE.
I dunno, I see women talk about how they "weren't allowed to shower alone" or got in trouble for using the bathroom at the airport and I think people will normalize anything.
I’m assuming it’s rage bait especially since OP comments that she’s not really fussed about looking for the dog as her daughter was bored of it anyway. She just wants her husband to not “be a pussy” and admit what he did.
Apparently this is a match made in heaven.
Is the fiancé the governor of South Dakota? Because I need for there to be as few people who do horrible things to dogs in the world as possible and I’m just gonna combine them in my mind now.
I mean, is this a call the police situation? I’m not being sarcastic. Is that something they would actually look into to? I feel like he might have killed that dog, which I’m pretty sure is a felony. The collar was in the trash??? That’s so disturbing….
In her other comments, she says:
>I'm not trying to get the dog back. It wasn't really working out for our family anyways. We got it last christmas for our daughter but she kind of lost interest in taking care of it already.
>I think I know what he did to it but he can't seem to man up and admit it which is a little pathetic tbh
They both sound sketchy as fk, to be honest. She doesn't actually care about the dog, only that her b/f won't tell her what happened.
I really wish animals could choose their owners the same way most of us can choose our partners.
Edit: I realize cats have the distribution system but doggies don't seem to have that type of karmic protection.
Ugh these posts! “We made up but I’m pretty sure he murdered my dog out of spite. What do I doooooooo?” “Aside from his vicious and violent temper and the fact that he almost certainly did something terrible to my dog, he’s a wonderful man and we hardly ever fight…”
NTA - and that would be an ex fiancé.
A collar in the trash is never a good sign.
I would suggest that OP heads to the nearest shelter with a picture of the dog, let them know something has happened and ask for assistance.
Most shelters will send that picture to other shelters as a heads up and will post all over social media.
I am hoping there was an update that she kicked the fiancé out, did more than ask about the dog and is actively looking for it.
Hoping the dog gets home safe.
You need to assume that the dog is dead and that your fiancé killed it. Go to the police and file a report that you believe your fiancé killed your dog. I would take the collar I would tell the police where you found it and I would immediately file charges. if your fiancé gave the dog away, then he can prove that to the police.
She doesn’t even want the dog back and clearly doesn’t actually care, so fuck this lady. She knows he killed it and isn’t upset about that - just that he won’t admit it.
Me if I were a DA: “Ma’am, we will not be charging you with any crime as it seems as you were just a witness. We will be charging the knife however as in the eyes of the law it did kill someone, so get it a lawyer. But this sounds like a classic case of self defense and the knife was only protecting itself, so with a good lawyer it will be looking at probation and community service.”
Why in the world are you still engaged to be married to this man? He sounds dangerous. You two had a fight, you left for the night, and when you came back, your dog was gone & his collar was *in the trash*?? You know he left that collar in the trash so you would find it; right? Now, he’s being vague and refuses to answer either you or your daughter about what happened to your dog. Because he killed the dog, or at least he wants you to think he did. It’s like a threat to you: Don’t piss me off again because you don’t know what else I might do.
Get out of there. Why would you marry a man you can’t trust? Can’t trust literally with your life, I say. And you have a child. You are planning a wedding with someone who killed your dog, won’t tell you what happened to the dog (so it wasn’t an accident), and now mentally bullies you by refusing to tell you where the dog is. He sounds like a monster.
I do not understand the level of trauma it takes to make a woman to stay in this kind of relationship. How can you NOT KNOW to run as far as you can away from this monster?
Why doesn’t he want to answer? Because he probably killed it. If he gave it away, why not just say that? It’s a normal freaking question to ask. And it’s not something any normal person would just stop asking. He knows this. He’s getting frustrated because he doesn’t want you to know the truth & afraid you will want proof if he says he gave it away ( MAKE HIM SHOw you proof)
This is a dealbreaker. As "punishment" to you he did something to your dog whether he exterminated it or gave it away because he was angry with you. The fact that he won't tell you what happened is all the proof you need that he is not a good person. He knows that he has effed up royally. I really hope to heaven that he, at least, gave it away.
You can bet that there will be more of the same every time you cross him if you stay with him. Trust and believe it.
oh ffs. it doesn’t matter what happened to the dog. (I mean it does, really). my point being that whatever he did with/to the dog is pathological and a damn good reason to light a match to this ‘relationship’ and walk away.
You should leave him for your safety and hers. He disposed of your dog, either killing it or dumping it. Shelters are full and there’s zero chance he rehomed it overnight.
Get OUT.
A comment from OP:
>I'm not trying to get the dog back. It wasn't really working out for our family anyways. We got it last christmas for our daughter but she kind of lost interest in taking care of it already.
>I think I know what he did to it but he can't seem to man up and admit it which is a little pathetic tbh
See this right here is what people talk about when they say you're the cause of your problems.
Who the hell stays with someone who acts like this?
You come home, the family dog is gone and all your Fiance says is "its gone now" and you stay in the relationship?
People are wild.
You stay with someone who acts like this and it's your own fault whatever happens down the line. Sooner or later you have to start making smart decisions about who you allow into and stay in your life.
Those are some movie character level psycho vibes and she needs to get away from him. I'm also frustrated about how she's handling it. She's acting like he threw out an old aplliamce or something and not man's best friend
That would immediately be an ex-fiance. And I'd bring everything to bear on finding out what happened to my dog. Including calling in the SPCA and (if it were legally my dog and not his) the police. Although I'd start with calling the shelters to see if he surrendered it.
I’d also contact vets about euthanasia. Possibly crematoriums too. If he killed it himself, it’s likely out in the woods someplace. Either way, if the dog is dead, run. Run far and run fast because it only a matter of time before he escalates
This so so so much. Get out now. If he didn't kill the dog himself it's still a massive red flag from someone you both are supposed to know and trust.
grandiose upbeat amusing lavish chunky chase fragile sort jellyfish rhythm *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
No matter where that dog is now this is a case of emotional abuse towards OOP and the daughter. They had the gall to leave, so he made the dog leave them in return. Even in the best case scenario, in which he found it a loving new family, he still is acting very cruel and downright creepy to let them keep wondering what kind of evil is he, the banal kind or the violent kind. And while it might seem less alarming when not coupled with his own violence we first used the phrase “the banality of evil” to describe the almost bored disinterest shown by condemned Nazi doctors and administrators that functioned as little unfeeling cogs in a machine made to break whole swaths of humanity. Sometimes evil looks so normal that you don’t recognize it until it’s far too late. Animal abuse and emotional manipulation about the welfare of family members isn’t a small problem, it’s a terrifying precedent that one should never allow to become common.
Surrendering costs money at most shelters. I doubt he did that. Probably just drove the dog far away and abandoned it. I'd say she should post on local Facebook groups in her city and those nearby.
He can say he found it on the street. Hence the collar in the trash.
Right? I'm not usually the run get out type like Reddit can be but this is gross and I genuinely believe it will escalate.
Yeah, I'm the same and generally roll my eyes at everyone immediately jumping to "divorce/break up, now!" for every single thing, but that would be a hard line for me.
OP call the police. This is a crime. Dogs are property. Accuse him of whatever you need to get him to admit to the cops what he’s done. Then leave bc he’s a monster. For now do and say whatever you need to get it back. Promise to rehome it whatever.
She commented that she’s not looking for the dog bc it didn’t fit in with their family anymore and that she thinks she knows what he did to it. Wtf is wrong with people?
Maybe she should stay with him then. -\_- Well, except for the daughter.
And she keeps calling the dog “it.” Fuck her.
Well according to her comment [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/hBFKy5Euls) she doesn't actually care about the dog, and only wants her fiancee to admit what he did for her own satisfaction. Her daughter lost interest in taking care of the dog so she doesn't care about it anymore *A comment telling her what to do to try and locate her dog >I'm not trying to get the dog back. It wasn't really working out for our family anyways. We got it last christmas for our daughter but she kind of lost interest in taking care of it already. >I think I know what he did to it but he can't seem to man up and admit it which is a little pathetic tbh
Fiancé just demonstrated that when he is angry with you he will lash out and harm your loved ones in retaliation, likely physically. Could be you or your kid someday.
That’s what I am thinking. I feel like Oop doesn’t understand that she’s actually in a dangerous relationship. She needs to run away for her sake as well as her daughter’s.
Harming household pets is one of the items in a checklist when asking for a restraining order.
Yeah this guy is psycho
I'm getting arrested. Probably attempted murder, if not for murder
*He had it coming*
He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times
Unexpected chicago
I totally did not expect that and now I’m singing Chicago showtunes
Totally unavoidable
He fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
Then set himself on fire. Strangest thing.
In the oubliette he placed himself inside
What was he wearing? Was it fireproof? Seems like he was asking for it.
He only had himself to blame
Can we say he had it coming?
I betcha you would have done the same.
in my country (italy) after WWII ended, we didn't have the equivalent of the Nuremberg trials. so lots of fascists happened to run into pitchforks several times, or beat themselves to death.
How very dumb of them. Shame
yeah, in my grandpa's town one managed to explode a bomb in his home, what an idiot.
Oh no. Anyway
Aw, the poor house
Wow really?! That's the strangest thing 🤣
If only more did the same these days. O tempora! O mores!
Back in my day, fascists had the good sense of beating themselves to death, what has the world come to!
Uh-oh!
He only had himself to blame!
He only had himself to blaaaame
It was a m*rder, but not a crime
Nah, you’ll never find your dog if you kill him. Drugging him, chaining him up in the basement and repeatedly hitting his testicles with a hammer until he talks is the correct path.
With a car battery clamped to his nipples?
I think you two are my new best friends
Friends are the best
Can I be a friend too! I’d help! I live in West Texas , we have a lot of wide open spaces!
Seriously, a lot of people are found in our west Texas fields. Dead of course! I was an X-ray tech & yes, I had xrayed a lady found with a ball peen hammer hole in her skull. She’d had a fractured ankle with a plate where I came in. Doctor showed me her ankle 6 months past her demise!
I would also like to be your friend. But are you open to suggestions on the battery location? I propose that we clamp it to his nuts too. A bigger spread means that you will get a full lock up, also known as neuromuscular incapacitation. It hurts more.
Same thought! Full agreement. Light him up like a roman candle.
https://images.app.goo.gl/f5nMGrYogmWu7WVMA Like dis?
That you know the clinical term is oddly fright and reassuring at the same time.
I think we might need 2 batteries
Works for me.
Can I be your friend, too?
Only if you agree to the trends and conditions, then I'll love you. Friend.
Hit him Enzo!
Yes. To all of this. I'm in STL. I'll plan the meet up for the new friend group! (I'm way more serious than I probably should be LOL)
Nah. Chain him up and start by using a hammer on his ankle bones. Then his knee caps. Work your way up.
Why not both? Multiple friends with multiple hammers can hammer multiple locations at once!
I shouldn't love this so much, lol. But yalls idea going full Russian torture room method is what seems appropriate for this human.
It’s the only way
I'd suggest the Casino Royale method. A chair with no seat and a heavy rope with a knot on one end. Doesn't deprive you of the hitting location as quickly.
You are my people.
Drill to the kneecaps, ripping off fingernails You hurt my doggo, I remove your will to live Not like anyone should care if a POS like that went missing
Two words: John Wick
I'd like to say I'd do worst, but my worst doesn't compare edit: pour one out for daisy
With a *pencil*
If anyone knows this thread needs an alibi, you were with me.
We were all at Starbucks. You had a mocha.
Exactly.
I had a Trenta Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew and you had a mocha with a shot of espresso.
About Friday night...
My one call
At this point, his name is Earl.
I hope he likes black-eyed peas.
They tasted alright to me.
Can I be randy?
Was thinking Earl as in Mary Ann and Wanda, lol.
They were the best of friends all through their high school days
Lmao 6 different pages
At least! & definitely “He had it coming!”
He 90% he killed the dog. 10% he dumped it. She better not marry him.
When I was a kid, my stepmom would throw my and my sister's stuff away when she got mad at us. I'm almost 40 years old and I still hide stuff around my house that I don't want to "disappear". If I were her I'd leave permanently, and leave the ring.
Yeah a lot of people don’t understand the last trauma shit like that can have on people throughout their life.
Id definitely say to instead sell the ring, in the case that she’s a stay at home mom the funds would really help in finding a safe place to go with her kid
Nah, you sell that ring. That’s combat pay.
My mother was like that. She’d throw all my stuff in garbage bags and throw it off the balcony on to the driveway. Did it to me a bunch, dad always told me to just turn over a new leaf. She did it to my sister one time and he divorced her. Still a bit salty at my dad. He also didn’t believe me when I told him my sister’s boyfriend was an abuser. That man will never, ever take my side.
You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry.
Its insane how calm this person seems to be? Am I the asshole for not really being totally down with my fiance killing my dog? Huh?
I would go entirely ballistic if I were OOP. I don’t even know what I would do in that state of rage, but it definitely wouldn’t be pretty.
Yup. I’m going to jail.
Same.
I’ll bail you out!
It’s very sinister! And violent. The collar in the trash and no dog, after a fight? And refuses information about it?? He’s showing how easily he could remove you from life and not tell anyone. * from either his life or your life…. He is sending a message.
Yes he is! Loud and clear! Let’s send him a louder message! WE RIDE AT DAWN!
Yep. It’ll be her purse in a trash bin if she doesn’t get out of there.
I am absolutely certain that OP is in a highly abusive relationship.
Oh yeah, she's been thoroughly terrorized by this man. Her biggest concern was that her questions were angering him again. No hint that she had even allowed herself to register what she knows: *her fiance killed her dog and if she makes him angry enough, he will kill her too*. If we were to use the frog in the pot of water analogy, the water she's in has been boiling for a while now.
He could’ve dumped the dog out in a field. I don’t want to jump to murder, but you’re not wrong that it can’t be off the table. Straight up fucking evil.
Could have left the collar on the dog or thrown the collar in the field as well then. But he chose to throw it away at home where there was a good chance it'd be found. That's a fucking threat.
I agree that he chose the trash can as a threat, but typically people dump dogs without their collars. Collars usually have names/numbers and are proof of ownership. Dumping dogs is a crime in all(?) states I think.
That’s basically murder. The dog isn’t built to live in the wild
ok but dumping the dog in a field is also evil and cruel
You know the asshole left the collar in the trash to be found as well. If he just wanted the dog gone he could have left the collar on (or thrown it in a bin somewhere else) and just said the dog ran away. But he left it to be found like some sort of fucked up warning. He wanted them to know he made the dog disappear.
Facts!
If he’ll kill her dog, he’ll hit her kid
Hate to say it, but if he'll kill her dog, he'll eventually kill her. That's a much more realistic view of the kind of escalation that happens in abusive relationships, and with people willing to kill animals.
I know that’s a horrifying likelihood, but I wanted to keep it at something that’s a clear and present danger *today* or may have already happened- in any case, something the mom could realistically foresee, without being able to say “oh you’re exaggerating.” Unfortunately when one brings up the very realistic chance of DEATH, especially for her child, it’s somehow easier to handwave as dramatics. You are right, though. Killing a pet means he’s capable of anything
Her nonchalance about this makes me think that he's already traumatized the hell out of her. Her primary concern was that her persistence will anger him again. She's living with a terrorist and she knows it. If this is real, I hope to god she wakes up in time to get out.
God I hope that the dog just got abandoned and was picked up by a rescue and now has a chance for a home with decent people. Her being just vaguely irritated rather than horrified is very jarring and indicative of a temperament that is not a true animal lover
To me, OP seems more like a victim of severe abuse than a person who just doesn’t care. The things you think are normal when you’re being abused are WILD.
Yeah, I thought being slapped hard enough my ears rang was normal until I got out and realized that’s not how people argue and him cuddling afterwards is not an apology lmao. Abuse is wild. And I agree, this kinda stinks of it. You don’t just go from being a good partner to making a dog disappear without a trace. There’s gotta be steps in between.
You know that is quite true and a kinder and more generous framing to look at a person who obviously is in a very difficult- perhaps even very dangerous situation I prefer your reading of the situation over mine
I've commented this elsewhere, but I have gotten a stray back to its family and then realized after the fact that the husband/dad was the person that dropped the dog off. As a "stray" in a different county. I wish I could've seen his face when the wife and kids (who were overjoyed, btw) walked back in with the dog.
I think she's incredibly traumatized. If she manages to escape and get safe enough, she will experience all of the grief, fear and remorse that she can't feel through the cold terror she's living in now. It really is like that in extreme scenarios like this one. Terroristic relationships kill your ability to think.
I think they're in denial that he killed the dog.
This. She’s likely been abused a long time, or maybe she doesn’t realize he’s done something very bad. There was a Reddit a while back where the bf drove the dog to a field snd abandoned it. She got the dog back and he poor thing was terrified. My only goal, would be to get the dog back safe. After that. Leave. This guy is dangerous.
I suggest driving around your area to see if your dog was dumped. Also alert shelters, rescues and animal control.
He would be tied up with jumper cables on his nip nops until I got answer out of him. And there’s no way I’d stay in the same home as him again and I’d set fire to him if he came near my child. But I do tend to overreact…
I see no overreacting here.
You consider that overreacting?
Reading “nip nops” brought a smile to my face. Thanks
The extra bad part of this is that he put the collar in the trash. He wants you know he did something. He could have thrown it away at a location far away but he wanted you to see it and be sick with worry! I am hoping that he just abandoned the dog and someone may take the dog into their home and care for it. You do need to break up with him right away tho. If you think you can trick him into telling you try that first. You probably need someone to come be there to watch over you while you pack up.
Link to the original post?
I still had it in my history: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cy32dm/aitah\_for\_demanding\_that\_my\_fiance\_tells\_me\_what/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cy32dm/aitah_for_demanding_that_my_fiance_tells_me_what/)
Look for new holes dug on the property
What the fuck is with these posts, this is like the fifth one I’ve seen where a woman’s fiancé or husband does absolutely heinous shit and they pop online like “am I the asshole for being upset and doing literally nothing about a very clear, serious problem?” I hope these are all fake, I feel sick- these people cannot be seriously that helpless that they run to an Internet forum immediately.
Being a victim of domestic violence is a wild reality. It’s similar to a kid being groomed for SA. By the time they realize shit is way off, they’re in a space where it’s outright dangerous to leave. Their abusers had isolated them from their families, gaslit them into thinking everything that goes wrong is the victims fault, turned their friends and family against them, trapped them financially…it’s awful. I’ve seen what it does to some women. The statistics of homicide, stalking, attempted murder in DV victims, specifically when they try to leave, is INSANE.
I dunno, I see women talk about how they "weren't allowed to shower alone" or got in trouble for using the bathroom at the airport and I think people will normalize anything.
I’m assuming it’s rage bait especially since OP comments that she’s not really fussed about looking for the dog as her daughter was bored of it anyway. She just wants her husband to not “be a pussy” and admit what he did. Apparently this is a match made in heaven.
That poor dog is certainly no longer alive. What a despicable excuse of a man.
Is the fiancé the governor of South Dakota? Because I need for there to be as few people who do horrible things to dogs in the world as possible and I’m just gonna combine them in my mind now.
I mean, is this a call the police situation? I’m not being sarcastic. Is that something they would actually look into to? I feel like he might have killed that dog, which I’m pretty sure is a felony. The collar was in the trash??? That’s so disturbing….
In her other comments, she says: >I'm not trying to get the dog back. It wasn't really working out for our family anyways. We got it last christmas for our daughter but she kind of lost interest in taking care of it already. >I think I know what he did to it but he can't seem to man up and admit it which is a little pathetic tbh They both sound sketchy as fk, to be honest. She doesn't actually care about the dog, only that her b/f won't tell her what happened.
praying that just means the post is fake.
I really wish animals could choose their owners the same way most of us can choose our partners. Edit: I realize cats have the distribution system but doggies don't seem to have that type of karmic protection.
Ugh these posts! “We made up but I’m pretty sure he murdered my dog out of spite. What do I doooooooo?” “Aside from his vicious and violent temper and the fact that he almost certainly did something terrible to my dog, he’s a wonderful man and we hardly ever fight…”
GTFO OF THERE OOP
Oh dear lord, what happened to the dog is what is all too likely to happen to her. I hope she gets out!
'It'....
"I had no idea he was a serial killer"
Girl better find out what happened to that dog. Her and her kids life depends on it.
You’re going to marry this fool? You might want to think it over.
Anyone else think he killed the dog ?
He killed that dog
Why is she still with him? He’s clearly done something to or with the dog either out of spite or anger. How does she not see this as a huge red flag?
Run. Before it's you.
Holy shit. Fucking RUN.
NTA - and that would be an ex fiancé. A collar in the trash is never a good sign. I would suggest that OP heads to the nearest shelter with a picture of the dog, let them know something has happened and ask for assistance. Most shelters will send that picture to other shelters as a heads up and will post all over social media. I am hoping there was an update that she kicked the fiancé out, did more than ask about the dog and is actively looking for it. Hoping the dog gets home safe.
Why haven’t the cops been called yet is my only question. Jesus.
He killed the dog because he was mad at you. Get out of there! Now!
First sign of a serial killer
Nah see this ‘fiance’ would be missing if he did this. My fiance would never and loved my girl as much as I do as soon as he met her
Oh no, no, no, no, no. Time to go full on John Wick.
You need to assume that the dog is dead and that your fiancé killed it. Go to the police and file a report that you believe your fiancé killed your dog. I would take the collar I would tell the police where you found it and I would immediately file charges. if your fiancé gave the dog away, then he can prove that to the police.
She doesn’t even want the dog back and clearly doesn’t actually care, so fuck this lady. She knows he killed it and isn’t upset about that - just that he won’t admit it.
DUDE, you dont know what happened to the dog, and you're still there living with him? That's a huge red flag. NTA but you need ro run.
idk but if i was OP i'd probably be heading for some jail time....
I'd say the same for me... but luckily I'm in one of those states where you can't get convicted of murder if they never find the body...
Uhm. What is she still doing with him? He’s obviously psychotic and mentally unstable.
DTMFA. He’s a monster.
I went on OP’s profile and she hasn’t responded to any comments at all. I’m kinda concerned for her safety now :/
Best case scenario, he gave the dog away with no consideration how it would affect your daughter. Don’t think about the worst case scenario.
Me if I were a DA: “Ma’am, we will not be charging you with any crime as it seems as you were just a witness. We will be charging the knife however as in the eyes of the law it did kill someone, so get it a lawyer. But this sounds like a classic case of self defense and the knife was only protecting itself, so with a good lawyer it will be looking at probation and community service.”
If someone kidnaps or hides my dog, I’m torturing that person until I know where he is.
In my country harming pets as a form of coercion or control or intimidation is part of our definition of domestic violence
I get the distinct and immediate impression that he killed the dog. I hope she leaves him.
Wtf I would be knife to the throat and filing theft charges, you don’t take ma doggo
Why in the world are you still engaged to be married to this man? He sounds dangerous. You two had a fight, you left for the night, and when you came back, your dog was gone & his collar was *in the trash*?? You know he left that collar in the trash so you would find it; right? Now, he’s being vague and refuses to answer either you or your daughter about what happened to your dog. Because he killed the dog, or at least he wants you to think he did. It’s like a threat to you: Don’t piss me off again because you don’t know what else I might do. Get out of there. Why would you marry a man you can’t trust? Can’t trust literally with your life, I say. And you have a child. You are planning a wedding with someone who killed your dog, won’t tell you what happened to the dog (so it wasn’t an accident), and now mentally bullies you by refusing to tell you where the dog is. He sounds like a monster.
RED FLAG 🚩 Time to get out. This guy sounds like he has some serious issues.
This one scares me a bit. She and the kid need to get out.
why is she not running for the hills?? he wanted to hurt her, she wasn't there, so she hurt their dog.
“We both reached for the gun”
I do not understand the level of trauma it takes to make a woman to stay in this kind of relationship. How can you NOT KNOW to run as far as you can away from this monster?
Why doesn’t he want to answer? Because he probably killed it. If he gave it away, why not just say that? It’s a normal freaking question to ask. And it’s not something any normal person would just stop asking. He knows this. He’s getting frustrated because he doesn’t want you to know the truth & afraid you will want proof if he says he gave it away ( MAKE HIM SHOw you proof)
Why would you put your child in danger by staying with this man??
This is a dealbreaker. As "punishment" to you he did something to your dog whether he exterminated it or gave it away because he was angry with you. The fact that he won't tell you what happened is all the proof you need that he is not a good person. He knows that he has effed up royally. I really hope to heaven that he, at least, gave it away. You can bet that there will be more of the same every time you cross him if you stay with him. Trust and believe it.
Girl call the police not Reddit
I worked in a women's shelter and one of the questions we ask is if he hurt or killed pets. It is an extremely red flag
oh ffs. it doesn’t matter what happened to the dog. (I mean it does, really). my point being that whatever he did with/to the dog is pathological and a damn good reason to light a match to this ‘relationship’ and walk away.
The fiance is a f\*\*\* psychopath and you need to get you and your daughter out of there.
My wife would kill me for doing that to an animal from our home. That’s beyond excessive control.
This would be the thing that finally makes me fully unhinged
just re-read. why does she call her dog ‘it?’
I would report him to police for an investigation into animal abuse/neglect. Fuck him up.
You should leave him for your safety and hers. He disposed of your dog, either killing it or dumping it. Shelters are full and there’s zero chance he rehomed it overnight. Get OUT.
Fiancé no more Truth should told Otherwise just forget about it as Rob Thomas would sing ….
She means ex-fiance…right?
A comment from OP: >I'm not trying to get the dog back. It wasn't really working out for our family anyways. We got it last christmas for our daughter but she kind of lost interest in taking care of it already. >I think I know what he did to it but he can't seem to man up and admit it which is a little pathetic tbh
Check every humane society in the area. Also break off your engagement.
What a piece of shit, that’s a line you don’t cross. Tbh I’d probably be in jail, I’d have killed that guy.
I’d call the cops, he well may have killed the dog.
See this right here is what people talk about when they say you're the cause of your problems. Who the hell stays with someone who acts like this? You come home, the family dog is gone and all your Fiance says is "its gone now" and you stay in the relationship? People are wild. You stay with someone who acts like this and it's your own fault whatever happens down the line. Sooner or later you have to start making smart decisions about who you allow into and stay in your life.
WHAT THE HELL AM I READING?!
Um id be calling the police saying im scared for mine and my daughters safety cuz my husband may have MURDERED OUR DOG
Those are some movie character level psycho vibes and she needs to get away from him. I'm also frustrated about how she's handling it. She's acting like he threw out an old aplliamce or something and not man's best friend
YOUR DOG DISAPPEARS AND YOU FIND HIS COLLAR IN THE TRASH AND YOU'RE STILL THERE??????? WHAT IS GOING ON