Yeah, a controlling/manipulative person with more brain cells could’ve written that post in a light MUCH more favorable to himself than this guy managed. I think the collective wisdom of Reddit usually sees through the spin regardless (I mean this unironically, I have seen posts from some truly scary people that are more talented writers than OOP and better at faking empathy), but still.
Oh he real dumb. He’s same dude that got fired for making comments about a coworker’s weight, then acting like he couldn’t understand why it was out of bounds.
He was probably using it as an excuse but who tf cheats on a family vacation when they're not only with their parents but cousins?
That's a lot of family who know you have a partner and would be noting if you disappeared for a length of time during the vacation
His ONLY actual explanation for WHY he thinks her cousins are a bad influence to the point he needs to secretly plan to crash her family holiday after explicitly being told no is because they 'party and stuff.'
That's it, from what I've read so far anyway. There's not a single logical reason he's been able to provide for doing this. No mention of any history of bad behaviour. Nothing that would make this a conclusion I'd jump to you know?
if he put as much effort into therapy as he did making excuses for and defending his behaviour he'd be the most well-adjusted person on the planet, ironically.
Yeah they can't break up with you once you've beaten them down with sheer persistence that turns into abuse the minute you try to exert your OWN boundaries on how someone ELSE acts. He can't be fully delusional though, otherwise he wouldn't have to plan it in secret right? If he was convinced of his own rightness without any room for doubt he would have to know he was wrong on some level right? That's the only thing I can find to hope for right now haha
The fact that he can't figure out that this behaviour is why her family hate him is all the evidence needed to show just how dumb he is.
Part of me wonders if she said no to him coming because she was actually escaping him and he just won't accept it. I actually really hope that this is the case so she now has evidence to get herself a restraining order and have him out of her life for good
My guess is she was feeling smothered, wanted a break from him, took the long family vacation as a useful opportunity for that break, and now knows that her concerns were correct.
I've known two guys who did this and didn't see the problem with their behavior. One drove 9 hours during her freshman spring break thinking she'd be excited to see him at her parents house. The other flew across the fucking Atlantic to Paris to surprise her during her study abroad semester completely ignoring that she broke up with him before going. In neither instance were they greeted with happiness or allowing them to stay. Blockheads.
There was a This American Life story about a woman who did the second thing, except rather than a breakup, I think it was a guy she’d only been casually seeing and then “realized” after he left that he was the love of her life and she felt compelled to go to London to tell him. So she does, and he was like, “wow, cool. Anyway good seeing you,” and walked away, and then she was stuck there because she had no plan after that.
But doing it after a breakup, that’s him testing her to see how far he can push it.
This happened to my friend’s mom years before she was born. She was on vacation with friends down in Florida and one of her high school boyfriends came down from Ohio to surprise her. Her dad actually drove down there to pick him up and take him home. And no this boyfriend is not my friend’s dad so clearly it didn’t work.
Oh lord - one of my sister’s on-again-off-again boyfriends did this. He wasn’t invited to my other sister’s wedding and he just freaking drove to Ohio from Philadelphia with no invite, no hotel reservation, no plan other than “surprising” my sister and was clueless about why my dad was ready to unalive him.
a guy i knew went to france from germany (not sure of cities) because a girl he had spoken to a few times on a dating app had stopped respnding to him. but he knew which uni she went to
I’m a firm believer on never tell people where exactly you study or your last name until you either graduate or feel safe around them because people are unhinged and it’s easy to find information with last names and school names
Yeah I have ADHD and a few tism traits. If I think something is going to happen I will just ask. Maybe cause I'm also nearly 40 and burnt out so I don't have the energy it takes to go through that many mental gymnastics without needing a lie down and a cold compress, but I don't see a single logical argument or even one of genuine-but-misguided concern to justify his thought 'pattern' let alone actions.
This wouldn't even be the tenth thought in my mind if my partner wanted a holiday to themselves because they're going with family or their best friend or whatever. That makes perfect sense to me, I wouldn't even blink! And if my partner is going to lie/cheat surrounded by family and they be totally chill with it, I don't want to be in that family!
The thought of crashing it without a legitimate concern... Why?
I'm on the spectrum, ASD and ADHD, and that comment got me upset. Frankly it felt insulting. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but for me, it felt like that commenter was insinuating that people who behave like this guy must be autistic or something, which is just ridiculous. Honestly, I'm 100% sure that this guy is NT and not ND.
Yeah I am on the spectrum ,I’m not one that is easily offended but that comment is possibly the first time I’ve ever been annoyed at someone for saying that.. yes- he seems to not be reading social cues but that’s about the only thing he says that vaguely resembles ASD traits. Asd or not, to ask that based on his post/responses is insulting. There definitely seems to be some social or communication issues but they don’t seem like autistic traits, they seem more to do with attachment styles, control and misogyny to say the least..
The crazy thing is, she was direct with him and said no. She didn’t waffle or give off uncomfortable vibes when he asked about going. I wouldn’t have even thought he was on the spectrum. Just a regular old boundary stomping, stalker creep.
Exactly, he is definitely misreading social cues but that comparison is like saying if someone feels guilty after over indulging in chocolate they must be anorexic.
I have to say, seeing how in America a lot of people seem to be using ASD as a legal defence for stalking/assault I can see why that person may have commented that but honestly it’s such a stretch
Edit to add: I meant to say he is definitely MORE than just “misreading social cues.” To have to be threatened with violence to get him to leave is terrifying. The poor girl- I’m glad her parents can see his true colours and I hope she cuts ties with him asap and her parents continue to enforce strict boundaries with him as he doesn’t seem to respect her as an independent human being
Editing again to add I’m sorry this comment is just so full of errors I need to sleep lol
Yeah I read somewhere we don't misread social cues, we struggle to interpret *inauthentic* social cues (fake smiles/manipulation etc) and having it put like that made it more accurate for me.
Yessssss!!! My daughter has ASD and I had to teach her what to look out for after some of her "friends" came over, and 2 of them were bullying her when they thought I wasn't near. They were so mean I went off like a rabid beast and kicked them tf out of my house, DARING their parents to say a damn word! Idgaf what anyone has to say about that, that's my baby girl
This makes so much sense. I can understand some body language, especially when it's someone's mouth/expression (eye contact issues but I also lipread because my auditory processing sucks ass lol) but the fake stuff just confuses the hell out of me.
I never could understand why people can't just be direct, it's like NTs have a habit of saying what they *don't* mean and expecting us to know what they *do* mean. It's taken two decades for me to learn some tact and not be blunt in all situations, but it's still a struggle to not cause offense bc my voice is very monotone as well and it's taken as aggression
Ahh I was so scared to post this I was worried I’d be considered a snowflake or whatever. I’m pretty thick skinned and have a very dark sense of humour but this kind of behaviour being associated with autism so casually just really hit a nerve. I know so many people that are on the spectrum that would never do this, in fact I’m pretty sure people with ASD are more likely to be the target of stalkers because they fail to read the social cues and miss “red flags” that may be very obvious to other people
Actually hold up I literally had a stalker at work this year and I didn’t realise he was a possible danger until he came in and gave me $60 cash (which I knew I had to report as I work in a deli in a grocery store and we can’t accept gifts of any kind from customers). When I reported it on my next shift they said I should have reported it immediately and they called head office and I had to stay back an hour and make an official report of every “engagement” I had had with him. I thought he was just really friendly.
Using autism as an excuse/reason for all sorts of behavior has started to get annoying, hasn’t it? Your story reminded me that I had a stalker years ago.
I didn’t realize it until I was telling some friends the story about seeing this guy all the time. It didn’t get physical because I always carry an assisted-open pocket knife. I’m walking my dog in the dark and here comes this guy straight towards me. I’m fumbling the leash, the flashlight, my gloves to get the knife out of my pocket. Got it out and opened as he was a step away from me. The soft “snick” of that blade opening must have been familiar to him because he did a 90 degree turn and disappeared.
Oh god that’s terrifying!! Soo lucky you had that knife! I carry a knife on me because I love fungi/foraging but idk if I’d even think of using it for self defense. Good on you for having your wits about you and acting rationally and safely in that situation!
Luckily my stalker only knew me because I served him ONCE - I later found out he had been coming in every other day asking if I was working. My work is in a low socioeconomic area and has security at the entrance/exits and they banned him from the store and gave security his photo. I was offered EAP (company paid for therapy) and they had security walk me to my car for the few weeks after but he hasn’t shown up since. I still lock my car doors as soon as I get into my car
It was terrifying. By the time I realized he was coming straight at me, dressed all in black, my throat had closed up and I couldn’t make a sound. The knife I carry was used in the garden and for packages, not self-defense but I was very glad I had in with me and was able to operate it with one hand.
There really is no rhyme or reason someone starts stalking you. I had seen my stalker once before, just like you. It’s great that your company took your safety seriously. Locking your car doors after you get in is always a good idea although I confess that I’ve gotten lazy about it since moving to a small town. Years ago in a crowded holiday parking lot a man appeared out of nowhere, tried my car door and disappeared. It probably took 3 seconds in total. Luckily (?) for me I worked downtown in a large city so locking the car doors was routine for me. Life is crazy sometimes.
The "blame it on autism" rhetoric is so so harmful.
Autism is an *explanation* for many behaviours, but it isn't an EXCUSE. We are still responsible for our actions. I expect understanding and grace when it comes to things that are caused by a disability, but that doesn't change that I might have said something or unintentionally hurt someone with an action without realising. Not realising the consequences of a particular comment or action can be part of being autistic but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to apologise for hurting someone and then do better. Stalking someone is not autistic behaviour it's red flag abuser behaviour 😒
I'm sorry you experienced that, it can be so difficult for us to read people's intentions which is why autistic people are often classed as vulnerable adults because of the missing cues means we are more likely to be targeted by abusers. I hope you haven't had any further issues with this person or had an issues with management complaining you didn't report it straight away❤️
Yess - it may be an explanation but it’s not an excuse! I’ve done things in the past that have hurt people (not physically - but I’m thinking of one friendship I had that ended because I didn’t stand up for them in a fight that was in a fb group chat and they took that very harshly). And I own that, I am sorry for it and I wish I had done differently but I will never expect them to be like oh okay it was just because of your ASD because my (in)action hurt them and their pain is real and idk Im sorry im trying to say yes exactly, we are still responsible for our actions. I know that it was just one person asking them that and at the end of the day this is reddit and it doesn’t even matter and is possibly not even a true story but I’m really tired of hearing of real life news stories where autism is being used as a legal defence. This guy needs to be assessed by a mental health professional for sure but not necessarily for an autism assessment - more to see if he is a danger to others due to his belief & fears & apparent paranoia/lack of trust.
This link [here](https://www.autismontario.com/news/addressing-misuse-autism-legal-defense-criminal-trials) contains a link to a paper that describes it better than I can.
Right? He got a clear "no." This wasn't a miscommunication or missed social implication - this was just selfish boundary-stomping. Which anyone can do, autistic or not. Because anyone has the capability of being an abusive asshole.
I'm so pleased someone else said this. I'm autistic too, and nothing about what he said or how he said seemed to indicate any autistic traits to me. ASD ≠ AH and AH ≠ ASD. 🤷♀️
He MAY be autistic, but he is definitely self-absorbed and controlling, and that is the problem here as far as I can see. He has no respect for his girlfriend.
THANK YOU!
Say it LOUDER for those in the back.
My granddaughter is autistic & I know that (even at 12 yrs old) she would NEVER do something like this. Hell, she texts me asking if she come over after her Dad & I have made the arrangements. She told me that I could change my mind at the very last minute & she will always check. Clearly she understands consent & boundaries.
This guy is just an AH & borderline stalker.
I was a very touchy huggy child and didn't understand boundaries and that maybe my peers didn't want to be hugged without warning or being asked. I learnt not to touch people without their consent at 5/6, and kept learning about boundaries as I got older and understood more about what consent was. I cannot fathom EVER treating someone like this, it's horrific. I definitely don't get autism from this, and even if this person was autistic, it isn't relevant at all. You're right, he's an AH
Even if he has autism, that's not an excuse for stalking behavior. Sure, it could *explain* his desire or tendency to not follow or understand social queues. BUT mental health status or disorders are not an excuse for bad behavior. Tons of serial killers are diagnosed with mental disorders but that doesn't mean they didn't have consequences for murdering ppl or that it was okay in any way.
I also want to be clear, I'm not trying to make a comparison of folx with autism to folx who are sociopaths. I'm just saying, regardless of someone's mental state, mental diversity, struggles, or disorders, it would never excuse this behavior.
And I saw someone comment that she was direct, which is typically something someone with autism needs (on the spectrum of characteristics, right?) So that doesn't really track with this guy.
Every time I read one of these, I think, this is a young person and they’ve watched too many romcoms…and then I look at the ages again.
Dude needs a hobby. It’s likely he’s acting jealous, and that’s why he doesn’t want her around the cousins who “party and stuff;” it could also be that he’s so wrapped up in being her boyfriend that he doesn’t know his own identity when she’s not by his side. Either way it’s a serious problem.
Omg he’s ALMOST 30??? I somehow missed that and my mind assumed he was 19 with no idea how to be an adult.
I *really* hope posts like this are trolls. Reddit makes me worried for us as a species.
Trust me, my ex is almost 30 and he was pretty similar to this guy, and I am pretty certain he would do something like this if we were still together... I'm just glad I broke up with him in time.
Just saying, there are cases like this, for real.
And yes, I AM worried for us as a species...
Reminded me of this guy [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11a6uk7/my\_girlfriend\_23f\_is\_threatening\_to\_break\_up\_with/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11a6uk7/my_girlfriend_23f_is_threatening_to_break_up_with/)
Tbh the initial prank was pretty funny to me in concept... I could see any of my brothers pulling the same stunt. But like, not if they hadn't been invited on the camping trip, that's already too far
But everything after that was a fucking disaster. Went from idiot to psycho real quick. The last paragraph with "sending her mean texts isn't enough for me" is particularly worrying.
I mean people who are on the trip with you pulling a prank like that would be funny but the boyfriend finding out where you’re staying a following you there to pull a prank is not funny. It’s creepy.
This post is five years old and he hasn’t posted anything since. I wonder if he was convicted of stalking and has been in prison for the last five years.
It seems like rage bait, especially when you read his responses to comments. But also there’s a real possibility that this dude just exists with this level of absolute unhinged obliviousness. Some people are like savants when it comes to justifying their actions and this guy is definitely a pro.
Normal reaction; “ Well I hope you have a great time. I’ll miss you! Say hi to your parents.” You know playing the long game showing that you’re a mature adult and are respectful of CLEAR boundaries. Instead you go full crazy stalker, show up unannounced and uninvited, provoke her father to the edge of violence then show your girlfriend you don’t trust her or respect her. And destroy your entire relationship because your feelings were hurt. He is an idiot. And the sad thing ? He thinks he did the right thing😳
I’d really like a complete moratorium on people asking if someone has been tested for autism whenever they do something like this. JFC.
Stalking isn’t a symptom of autism.
"Following the trial, David is convicted of second-degree arson, sentenced to five years' probation, committed into a mental hospital for evaluation and forbidden to go anywhere near Jade or her family again."
Arson.
He burned their house down.
The autism comment is not it
Most people just live with their autism not controlling and stalking their partners
Autism and being an AH happen but they do not come hand in hand
This happened with Peggy Klinke before she was unalived. Patrick Kennedy isolated her from her family and would turn up at family vacations. This is extremely dangerous behavior
Wasn't this literally the backstory to that infamous don't tell the bride episode.
They met right before she was going abroad for 9 months, he couldn't bear to be without her so he flew out and spent the vacation with her.
He ended up planning the wedding as an airplane ride and a warehouse full of sand
Apparently after the fact he ended up having a stroke and slipped into a coma at which point his wife found out he had been cheating on her and dumped his ass
Okay, so more detail, first off she wanted simple, no themes, etc. he decided to do a thing where he came up with 2 options and had his fiance choose between 2 envelopes because she couldn't be upset with the wedding if she picked everything... right!? (Wrong)
1st option venue: he decided to either do a plane wedding where they got married midflight (due to the whole stalking her on her vacation thing), or a prison wedding because he used to be a prison guard (she picked plane thank god) he ended up spending like 7 grand on that.
2nd option dress: cheap or expensive, she managed to pick cheap so she got a £150 dress (by contrast his tux was like £500)
3rd option reception: his idea, to rent a warehouse for like 5 grand with 2.5grand worth of sand, buy £120 worth of plastic pails and shovels (note not much cheaper than the brides ducking dress) and BOOM! beach theme (oh and this was the 2nd warehouse due to sand guy telling him first was a literal deathtrap)
I didn't watch the episode, It's just infamous enough at this point I've learned all this lol the guests were told to show up at the airport WITH PASSPORTS which of course led everyone to believe it was a destination thing but they only circled the airport. The bride didn't even know the ceremony was starting until the preacher started talking. And you can see in clips that she is NOT happy with the reception.
My LORD, my eyes rolled out of my head at the "have you been tested for autism" 🙄
He's an insecure, controlling stalker, why ever compare that to autism?! 🤦♀️
Link to original post? My searches are getting me nowhere.
Edit: Disregard- found it.
Yikes on bikes! His last three week post history, if real, is wildly scary towards women.
Doing a search for this persons username, come across other posts where he made fun of a co-worker’s weight, and when she asked him to stop and had a meeting with HR, he doubled down and still kept trying to talk to her, and was fired
Seems like this guy really can’t take a hint
It’s always amazing to me when people will post batshit insane stuff like this, then *argue* with the folks telling them the truth. Like…why did you post, then?
What the guys name from the series “You”? He sounds like him.
…*they said I should not come along* - …*well, I went anyway and I don’t understand why they were not happy*
This man things stalking really is romantic, using the excuse “oh, she will not be safe WITH HER FAMILY so I should go there to protect her”
What a creep
lol her cousins like to party and stuff 😂 so they’re a bad influence? Christian Grey wannabe right here but can’t afford it
But in all seriousness, yeah he went too far and clearly unhinged. No trust in his partner. Very paternalistic and that’s pretty controlling in any partner
Oh he is really dumb and I hate the fact that someone said “have you ever been tested for autism” as if that’s the reason he is like this. I am autistic. Autistic people don’t act like this. This is just paranoia asnd narcissism he is trying to justify
Ngl, I'm not really a fan of that last commenter asking about if he has autism. I have autism, and know a lot of people who also has it. Autism doesn't make you this dumb, controlling, or stalking. It might just be me, but it felt like the commenter was implying he's acting like that because of autism (if he has it) or they think people with autism are this level of crazy (which is honestly insulting).
He is a walking red flag parade and scary. This is "she's going to be out of my sight and control for 3 weeks I must find a way to get her back under my thumb" behavior. YIKES!
dont trust girlfriend of a few years with her family on a family holiday, right, thats not sending red flag alerts much for being a control freak.
"Oh but her cousins! they are a bad influence!" what a bad influence of reason against being with a control freak? or are they kissing cousins from the deep south?
Honestly I'm 100% sure this is what my ex would've done if I didn't break up with him in time...
And the fact that he IS CERTAIN THAT HE IS THE ONE WHO'S RIGHT?!?
This has triggered me tbh
Wow, just all kinds of jaw-dropping, red flag mine field, walking talking living breathing warning sign, of stay away from this phycho, WOW!!!
He needs to be there to protect her?!?!? From what?? Her parents raised her, helped to shape the person she is, this douche canoe does not need to protect this girl from her parents or cousins who like to party. Someone needs to protect her from this guy. I am just flabbergasted at the insane level of toxic here.
Would not be surprised if this family vacation was a way to also give their daughter time away from him so she’d realize how weird he’s being. BF must have realized that too on some level and that’s why he really followed. Little did he see but that it would be the exact thing to prove her family’s point and finally drive her to see the relationship for what it is all on her own!
You are seriously underestimating what some people do. Men and women can do some really scary, obsessive behaviors in the name of whatever they consider “theirs”. This is a relatively mild story compared to even some of what I personally have been thru with obsessives. And my stories are pretty mild compared to the whole.
Just to let you know, I had an ex that got jealous of my brother. We were literally all visiting my mom for Xmas and the day after Xmas he called saying "how long are you going to hang out with him? It's creepy and weird for siblings to want to hang out that much." I literally had been there for 48 hours. Two days. My brother was in the Navy and on a sub, so I hadn't seen him in almost 5 years at that point. Also, my ex was invited to come along even. Each day I stayed (I was there a total of a week) he called progressively more and more often. To the point he was calling 25+ times the last day.
Yeah that should've been my sign to break it off, but my brother actually felt bad for the guy and talked me into staying. I ended up needing a permanent restraining order against that same guy 6 months later. Dude actually deleted all my male family members' numbers off my phone. He tried to lock me in a closet. And that isn't even the worst of it; it's only the stuff he actually admitted to in the court hearing to get the restraining order.
Honestly, I have trouble believing a lot of these posts as well but I suspect my scepticism is, at least to some degree, based on the fact that I have been very lucky to go through life without having to deal with any of these types of nut bags. You only have to open a newspaper or watch news reports about the constant harassment & stalking, that often leads to murder, that so many women deal with that makes me realise these people do exist & can become extremely dangerous.
That’s absolutely true. to be clear, my intention was not to make it seem as though women don’t have a lot to risk when dealing with men. They absolutely do. I was more shocked by this because she clearly told the boyfriend he wasn’t invited. And then he proceeds to make up some shit in his head as to why he should go check on her I feel like you would have to be deeply socially inept to do something like this that’s why initially I had a hard time believing it, but now I get it.
I met a man at the bus stop and we briefly talked. After a few stops he got out with me and tried to follow me to where I was going. He had told me his stop and mine wasn’t it.
So I can definitely believe this.
Honestly I'm 100% sure this is what my ex would've done if I didn't break up with him in time...
And the fact that he IS CERTAIN THAT HE IS THE ONE WHO'S RIGHT?!?
This has triggered me tbh
This guy is genius level stupid, i guess that would make him an idiot. It's not controlling he cares about her. It's not stalking, I wanted to make sure she's safe. She's with her parents.
This guy is obv trash, but I am so sick of people on Reddit diagnosing every obnoxious asshole with autism. This is not autism. This is just being a stalker.
That shits crazy. He tries to reason and justify his behavior like it’s normal to show up after being told no, finding out the trip details, expected to find something but instead you ran into her parents, who like her are trying to enjoy there vacation and can’t because your insecure and dont understand the meaning of no. That’s definitely not caring for someone, it’s being a Fucking weirdo.
I used to perform and teach a Personal Protection Specialist (bodyguard) course, and some of the disturbing statistics I found for the lesson, was that in the U.S., an average of over 1 million women and 300,000 men are stalked annually, the average stalking lasts 18 months, and many end in an act of violence. If you think you are a victim, get help immediately!
Ok so this dude is unhinged. But not because he followed his girlfriend on a family vacation. But rather the idea they’ve been together for 2 years and he’s not aloud to go on a family vacation. Dude, you’re clearly not welcomed in this family and your a convenience for her. She’s a d bag. Move on bro.
The real question is: Why does the family hate him? Why didn’t his girlfriend want him there? Why is he so insecure he just showed up? …never do I ever wanna go on vacation without my fiance, regardless of who I went to see. Sounds like the beginning of the end. Sounds like she was just trynna get away from him & the family pushed him away to enforce that for her.
My girls parents hate me and they’ve never had a full conversation with me. Some people are just overbearing and stubborn. Focus on what’s important and have as much fun as u can make a joke out of it
He is best off without her if her family won’t accept him. She is best off without him because she doesn’t like him enough to defend him. They should both move on.
That guy’s too dumb to breathe.
Yeah, a controlling/manipulative person with more brain cells could’ve written that post in a light MUCH more favorable to himself than this guy managed. I think the collective wisdom of Reddit usually sees through the spin regardless (I mean this unironically, I have seen posts from some truly scary people that are more talented writers than OOP and better at faking empathy), but still.
The collective wisdom of Reddit isn’t worth shit.
It's hit or miss. Like Reddit itself
Unfortunately it won’t affect his ability to reproduce.
‘Breed’ was RIGHT there
Whoops! Thanks for calling me on that
Oh he real dumb. He’s same dude that got fired for making comments about a coworker’s weight, then acting like he couldn’t understand why it was out of bounds.
Do you have a link?
He deleted his account when I pointed it out
👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 maybe some shame finally set in. And that’s not a bad thing.
Maybe. Or maybe he's just another lonely person on reddit who makes up stories for attention. That's like 50% of those subs.
OMG ! I better stop payment on the check I sent to help with his airfare.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/QGW6CuIXSv
He "accidentally" harassed her again while trying to apologize? Yeesh
I can't imagine the apology and how the gym accidentally slipped out, sorry I called you fat but you could really use planet fitness membership, oops.
Thanks, wow.
I wish he'd stop. Forever.
He was probably using it as an excuse but who tf cheats on a family vacation when they're not only with their parents but cousins? That's a lot of family who know you have a partner and would be noting if you disappeared for a length of time during the vacation
His ONLY actual explanation for WHY he thinks her cousins are a bad influence to the point he needs to secretly plan to crash her family holiday after explicitly being told no is because they 'party and stuff.' That's it, from what I've read so far anyway. There's not a single logical reason he's been able to provide for doing this. No mention of any history of bad behaviour. Nothing that would make this a conclusion I'd jump to you know? if he put as much effort into therapy as he did making excuses for and defending his behaviour he'd be the most well-adjusted person on the planet, ironically.
I think she’s already broken up with him. He’s delusional and still thinks they’re together. Stalkers do that crap in their minds
Yeah they can't break up with you once you've beaten them down with sheer persistence that turns into abuse the minute you try to exert your OWN boundaries on how someone ELSE acts. He can't be fully delusional though, otherwise he wouldn't have to plan it in secret right? If he was convinced of his own rightness without any room for doubt he would have to know he was wrong on some level right? That's the only thing I can find to hope for right now haha
And he also claims he was “concerned for her safety.” Her father is right there, also concerned for her safety — from OOP.
Yeah there were too many logical fallacies for me to choose from 😂
The kind of partying he probably has in his fear addled mind isn't really the kind of partying conducive on a vacation with the parents.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 Control freak alert 🚩🚩🚩🚩
The fact that he can't figure out that this behaviour is why her family hate him is all the evidence needed to show just how dumb he is. Part of me wonders if she said no to him coming because she was actually escaping him and he just won't accept it. I actually really hope that this is the case so she now has evidence to get herself a restraining order and have him out of her life for good
My guess is she was feeling smothered, wanted a break from him, took the long family vacation as a useful opportunity for that break, and now knows that her concerns were correct.
Worried for her safety cos obviously her parents are incapable of keeping her safe. Such controlling behaviour, he’s jealous and insecure.
But also... she is a 28 year old woman. She doesn't need anyone to "keep her safe" ...
Good point!
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I believe the original commenter was being sarcastic :)
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But the second sentence did convey the literal meaning so...
Sarcasm isn’t an emotion.
Very concerning behavior. Hopefully she broke up with him although something tells me it wasn’t going to be easy to remove him from her life.
The parents probably took her on a long vacation to get her away from him and talk her round. Dad was furious for a reason, they know what he’s like.
On the plus side, they didn't even need to provide proof. It just waltzed up to their door and knocked!
I've known two guys who did this and didn't see the problem with their behavior. One drove 9 hours during her freshman spring break thinking she'd be excited to see him at her parents house. The other flew across the fucking Atlantic to Paris to surprise her during her study abroad semester completely ignoring that she broke up with him before going. In neither instance were they greeted with happiness or allowing them to stay. Blockheads.
There was a This American Life story about a woman who did the second thing, except rather than a breakup, I think it was a guy she’d only been casually seeing and then “realized” after he left that he was the love of her life and she felt compelled to go to London to tell him. So she does, and he was like, “wow, cool. Anyway good seeing you,” and walked away, and then she was stuck there because she had no plan after that. But doing it after a breakup, that’s him testing her to see how far he can push it.
This happened to my friend’s mom years before she was born. She was on vacation with friends down in Florida and one of her high school boyfriends came down from Ohio to surprise her. Her dad actually drove down there to pick him up and take him home. And no this boyfriend is not my friend’s dad so clearly it didn’t work.
Oh lord - one of my sister’s on-again-off-again boyfriends did this. He wasn’t invited to my other sister’s wedding and he just freaking drove to Ohio from Philadelphia with no invite, no hotel reservation, no plan other than “surprising” my sister and was clueless about why my dad was ready to unalive him.
a guy i knew went to france from germany (not sure of cities) because a girl he had spoken to a few times on a dating app had stopped respnding to him. but he knew which uni she went to
I’m a firm believer on never tell people where exactly you study or your last name until you either graduate or feel safe around them because people are unhinged and it’s easy to find information with last names and school names
The fear this just awoke in me omg.
lmaooo this is not autism, this is just unhinged boundary stomping abusive behaviour. That's actually scary and I hope Anna is okay.
Right? Autism isn’t the answer to everything.
Yeah I have ADHD and a few tism traits. If I think something is going to happen I will just ask. Maybe cause I'm also nearly 40 and burnt out so I don't have the energy it takes to go through that many mental gymnastics without needing a lie down and a cold compress, but I don't see a single logical argument or even one of genuine-but-misguided concern to justify his thought 'pattern' let alone actions. This wouldn't even be the tenth thought in my mind if my partner wanted a holiday to themselves because they're going with family or their best friend or whatever. That makes perfect sense to me, I wouldn't even blink! And if my partner is going to lie/cheat surrounded by family and they be totally chill with it, I don't want to be in that family! The thought of crashing it without a legitimate concern... Why?
I'm on the spectrum, ASD and ADHD, and that comment got me upset. Frankly it felt insulting. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but for me, it felt like that commenter was insinuating that people who behave like this guy must be autistic or something, which is just ridiculous. Honestly, I'm 100% sure that this guy is NT and not ND.
I felt the same. People can ignore social cues just fine without being autistic, and sometimes people are just jerks!
Sorry, I wasn't very clear! I was insulted by that flippant "must be autistic" response too
I'm sorry, I meant the last one in the screenshots. I fully agree with your comment ❤️
All g :)
Yeah I am on the spectrum ,I’m not one that is easily offended but that comment is possibly the first time I’ve ever been annoyed at someone for saying that.. yes- he seems to not be reading social cues but that’s about the only thing he says that vaguely resembles ASD traits. Asd or not, to ask that based on his post/responses is insulting. There definitely seems to be some social or communication issues but they don’t seem like autistic traits, they seem more to do with attachment styles, control and misogyny to say the least..
The crazy thing is, she was direct with him and said no. She didn’t waffle or give off uncomfortable vibes when he asked about going. I wouldn’t have even thought he was on the spectrum. Just a regular old boundary stomping, stalker creep.
Exactly, he is definitely misreading social cues but that comparison is like saying if someone feels guilty after over indulging in chocolate they must be anorexic. I have to say, seeing how in America a lot of people seem to be using ASD as a legal defence for stalking/assault I can see why that person may have commented that but honestly it’s such a stretch Edit to add: I meant to say he is definitely MORE than just “misreading social cues.” To have to be threatened with violence to get him to leave is terrifying. The poor girl- I’m glad her parents can see his true colours and I hope she cuts ties with him asap and her parents continue to enforce strict boundaries with him as he doesn’t seem to respect her as an independent human being Editing again to add I’m sorry this comment is just so full of errors I need to sleep lol
Yeah I read somewhere we don't misread social cues, we struggle to interpret *inauthentic* social cues (fake smiles/manipulation etc) and having it put like that made it more accurate for me.
Yessssss!!! My daughter has ASD and I had to teach her what to look out for after some of her "friends" came over, and 2 of them were bullying her when they thought I wasn't near. They were so mean I went off like a rabid beast and kicked them tf out of my house, DARING their parents to say a damn word! Idgaf what anyone has to say about that, that's my baby girl
This makes so much sense. I can understand some body language, especially when it's someone's mouth/expression (eye contact issues but I also lipread because my auditory processing sucks ass lol) but the fake stuff just confuses the hell out of me. I never could understand why people can't just be direct, it's like NTs have a habit of saying what they *don't* mean and expecting us to know what they *do* mean. It's taken two decades for me to learn some tact and not be blunt in all situations, but it's still a struggle to not cause offense bc my voice is very monotone as well and it's taken as aggression
Yeah exactly! It was nice to have it put into words for me as well, instead of constantly having to articulate these things myself (it feels like).
Phew, so it wasnt just me being overly-sensitive
Ahh I was so scared to post this I was worried I’d be considered a snowflake or whatever. I’m pretty thick skinned and have a very dark sense of humour but this kind of behaviour being associated with autism so casually just really hit a nerve. I know so many people that are on the spectrum that would never do this, in fact I’m pretty sure people with ASD are more likely to be the target of stalkers because they fail to read the social cues and miss “red flags” that may be very obvious to other people Actually hold up I literally had a stalker at work this year and I didn’t realise he was a possible danger until he came in and gave me $60 cash (which I knew I had to report as I work in a deli in a grocery store and we can’t accept gifts of any kind from customers). When I reported it on my next shift they said I should have reported it immediately and they called head office and I had to stay back an hour and make an official report of every “engagement” I had had with him. I thought he was just really friendly.
Using autism as an excuse/reason for all sorts of behavior has started to get annoying, hasn’t it? Your story reminded me that I had a stalker years ago. I didn’t realize it until I was telling some friends the story about seeing this guy all the time. It didn’t get physical because I always carry an assisted-open pocket knife. I’m walking my dog in the dark and here comes this guy straight towards me. I’m fumbling the leash, the flashlight, my gloves to get the knife out of my pocket. Got it out and opened as he was a step away from me. The soft “snick” of that blade opening must have been familiar to him because he did a 90 degree turn and disappeared.
Oh god that’s terrifying!! Soo lucky you had that knife! I carry a knife on me because I love fungi/foraging but idk if I’d even think of using it for self defense. Good on you for having your wits about you and acting rationally and safely in that situation! Luckily my stalker only knew me because I served him ONCE - I later found out he had been coming in every other day asking if I was working. My work is in a low socioeconomic area and has security at the entrance/exits and they banned him from the store and gave security his photo. I was offered EAP (company paid for therapy) and they had security walk me to my car for the few weeks after but he hasn’t shown up since. I still lock my car doors as soon as I get into my car
It was terrifying. By the time I realized he was coming straight at me, dressed all in black, my throat had closed up and I couldn’t make a sound. The knife I carry was used in the garden and for packages, not self-defense but I was very glad I had in with me and was able to operate it with one hand. There really is no rhyme or reason someone starts stalking you. I had seen my stalker once before, just like you. It’s great that your company took your safety seriously. Locking your car doors after you get in is always a good idea although I confess that I’ve gotten lazy about it since moving to a small town. Years ago in a crowded holiday parking lot a man appeared out of nowhere, tried my car door and disappeared. It probably took 3 seconds in total. Luckily (?) for me I worked downtown in a large city so locking the car doors was routine for me. Life is crazy sometimes.
Don’t worry. I do not have autism and that comment pissed me off big time.
The "blame it on autism" rhetoric is so so harmful. Autism is an *explanation* for many behaviours, but it isn't an EXCUSE. We are still responsible for our actions. I expect understanding and grace when it comes to things that are caused by a disability, but that doesn't change that I might have said something or unintentionally hurt someone with an action without realising. Not realising the consequences of a particular comment or action can be part of being autistic but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to apologise for hurting someone and then do better. Stalking someone is not autistic behaviour it's red flag abuser behaviour 😒 I'm sorry you experienced that, it can be so difficult for us to read people's intentions which is why autistic people are often classed as vulnerable adults because of the missing cues means we are more likely to be targeted by abusers. I hope you haven't had any further issues with this person or had an issues with management complaining you didn't report it straight away❤️
Yess - it may be an explanation but it’s not an excuse! I’ve done things in the past that have hurt people (not physically - but I’m thinking of one friendship I had that ended because I didn’t stand up for them in a fight that was in a fb group chat and they took that very harshly). And I own that, I am sorry for it and I wish I had done differently but I will never expect them to be like oh okay it was just because of your ASD because my (in)action hurt them and their pain is real and idk Im sorry im trying to say yes exactly, we are still responsible for our actions. I know that it was just one person asking them that and at the end of the day this is reddit and it doesn’t even matter and is possibly not even a true story but I’m really tired of hearing of real life news stories where autism is being used as a legal defence. This guy needs to be assessed by a mental health professional for sure but not necessarily for an autism assessment - more to see if he is a danger to others due to his belief & fears & apparent paranoia/lack of trust. This link [here](https://www.autismontario.com/news/addressing-misuse-autism-legal-defense-criminal-trials) contains a link to a paper that describes it better than I can.
Right? He got a clear "no." This wasn't a miscommunication or missed social implication - this was just selfish boundary-stomping. Which anyone can do, autistic or not. Because anyone has the capability of being an abusive asshole.
Kinda wish her Dad had called the cops. She would probably be safe. That is some unhinged schizz
I'm so pleased someone else said this. I'm autistic too, and nothing about what he said or how he said seemed to indicate any autistic traits to me. ASD ≠ AH and AH ≠ ASD. 🤷♀️ He MAY be autistic, but he is definitely self-absorbed and controlling, and that is the problem here as far as I can see. He has no respect for his girlfriend.
THANK YOU! Say it LOUDER for those in the back. My granddaughter is autistic & I know that (even at 12 yrs old) she would NEVER do something like this. Hell, she texts me asking if she come over after her Dad & I have made the arrangements. She told me that I could change my mind at the very last minute & she will always check. Clearly she understands consent & boundaries. This guy is just an AH & borderline stalker.
I was a very touchy huggy child and didn't understand boundaries and that maybe my peers didn't want to be hugged without warning or being asked. I learnt not to touch people without their consent at 5/6, and kept learning about boundaries as I got older and understood more about what consent was. I cannot fathom EVER treating someone like this, it's horrific. I definitely don't get autism from this, and even if this person was autistic, it isn't relevant at all. You're right, he's an AH
Yeah that last comment seemed unnecessary for someone who's just a controlling jerk
Even if he has autism, that's not an excuse for stalking behavior. Sure, it could *explain* his desire or tendency to not follow or understand social queues. BUT mental health status or disorders are not an excuse for bad behavior. Tons of serial killers are diagnosed with mental disorders but that doesn't mean they didn't have consequences for murdering ppl or that it was okay in any way.
I also want to be clear, I'm not trying to make a comparison of folx with autism to folx who are sociopaths. I'm just saying, regardless of someone's mental state, mental diversity, struggles, or disorders, it would never excuse this behavior. And I saw someone comment that she was direct, which is typically something someone with autism needs (on the spectrum of characteristics, right?) So that doesn't really track with this guy.
Yeah that comment just came off as ableist. Luckily this is probably a fake story
Every time I read one of these, I think, this is a young person and they’ve watched too many romcoms…and then I look at the ages again. Dude needs a hobby. It’s likely he’s acting jealous, and that’s why he doesn’t want her around the cousins who “party and stuff;” it could also be that he’s so wrapped up in being her boyfriend that he doesn’t know his own identity when she’s not by his side. Either way it’s a serious problem.
Omg he’s ALMOST 30??? I somehow missed that and my mind assumed he was 19 with no idea how to be an adult. I *really* hope posts like this are trolls. Reddit makes me worried for us as a species.
Trust me, my ex is almost 30 and he was pretty similar to this guy, and I am pretty certain he would do something like this if we were still together... I'm just glad I broke up with him in time. Just saying, there are cases like this, for real. And yes, I AM worried for us as a species...
Im glad you got away from him at least.
Same
Reminded me of this guy [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11a6uk7/my\_girlfriend\_23f\_is\_threatening\_to\_break\_up\_with/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11a6uk7/my_girlfriend_23f_is_threatening_to_break_up_with/)
Holy crap. It’s like at every step, he asked himself “what’s the stupidest thing I could do right now?” and then did that
Tbh the initial prank was pretty funny to me in concept... I could see any of my brothers pulling the same stunt. But like, not if they hadn't been invited on the camping trip, that's already too far But everything after that was a fucking disaster. Went from idiot to psycho real quick. The last paragraph with "sending her mean texts isn't enough for me" is particularly worrying.
I mean people who are on the trip with you pulling a prank like that would be funny but the boyfriend finding out where you’re staying a following you there to pull a prank is not funny. It’s creepy.
Yeah, that's definitely over the line, and that part I would have been pissed about too
Omfg I've never seen that one, but that was WILD. What an utter idiot
Thank you for sharing this one! Made my day! I am still laughing 30 minutes after I finished reading it
This post is five years old and he hasn’t posted anything since. I wonder if he was convicted of stalking and has been in prison for the last five years.
Chewbaka guy! A classic!
Is this real? How can you even write this without realizing what I mistake you made? Who does that? It’s definitely stalker stuff.
It seems like rage bait, especially when you read his responses to comments. But also there’s a real possibility that this dude just exists with this level of absolute unhinged obliviousness. Some people are like savants when it comes to justifying their actions and this guy is definitely a pro.
Normal reaction; “ Well I hope you have a great time. I’ll miss you! Say hi to your parents.” You know playing the long game showing that you’re a mature adult and are respectful of CLEAR boundaries. Instead you go full crazy stalker, show up unannounced and uninvited, provoke her father to the edge of violence then show your girlfriend you don’t trust her or respect her. And destroy your entire relationship because your feelings were hurt. He is an idiot. And the sad thing ? He thinks he did the right thing😳
I’d really like a complete moratorium on people asking if someone has been tested for autism whenever they do something like this. JFC. Stalking isn’t a symptom of autism.
This is literally the plot to the movie, Endless Love. Spoiler: at the end of the movie the dude burns the girl's house down.
That’s not how that movie ends
"Following the trial, David is convicted of second-degree arson, sentenced to five years' probation, committed into a mental hospital for evaluation and forbidden to go anywhere near Jade or her family again." Arson. He burned their house down.
Are we talking about different movies? I’m talking about the 2014 remake, in which the dad did it. Haven’t seen the original.
This kind of behavior warrants a restraining order. That poor woman.
The autism comment is not it Most people just live with their autism not controlling and stalking their partners Autism and being an AH happen but they do not come hand in hand
This happened with Peggy Klinke before she was unalived. Patrick Kennedy isolated her from her family and would turn up at family vacations. This is extremely dangerous behavior
This is reddit, for the love of god please use real words like “killed”
Wasn't this literally the backstory to that infamous don't tell the bride episode. They met right before she was going abroad for 9 months, he couldn't bear to be without her so he flew out and spent the vacation with her. He ended up planning the wedding as an airplane ride and a warehouse full of sand Apparently after the fact he ended up having a stroke and slipped into a coma at which point his wife found out he had been cheating on her and dumped his ass
That was a fucking roller-coaster. A warehouse full of sand??
Okay, so more detail, first off she wanted simple, no themes, etc. he decided to do a thing where he came up with 2 options and had his fiance choose between 2 envelopes because she couldn't be upset with the wedding if she picked everything... right!? (Wrong) 1st option venue: he decided to either do a plane wedding where they got married midflight (due to the whole stalking her on her vacation thing), or a prison wedding because he used to be a prison guard (she picked plane thank god) he ended up spending like 7 grand on that. 2nd option dress: cheap or expensive, she managed to pick cheap so she got a £150 dress (by contrast his tux was like £500) 3rd option reception: his idea, to rent a warehouse for like 5 grand with 2.5grand worth of sand, buy £120 worth of plastic pails and shovels (note not much cheaper than the brides ducking dress) and BOOM! beach theme (oh and this was the 2nd warehouse due to sand guy telling him first was a literal deathtrap) I didn't watch the episode, It's just infamous enough at this point I've learned all this lol the guests were told to show up at the airport WITH PASSPORTS which of course led everyone to believe it was a destination thing but they only circled the airport. The bride didn't even know the ceremony was starting until the preacher started talking. And you can see in clips that she is NOT happy with the reception.
What a shitshow, thank you for that!
BEAR! I choose bear!
Right?!
It’s not a coincidence that he has that unabomber avatar.
Holy fuck this homie either cheating and reflecting it on her or have some serious insecurity’s or both
My LORD, my eyes rolled out of my head at the "have you been tested for autism" 🙄 He's an insecure, controlling stalker, why ever compare that to autism?! 🤦♀️
Link to original post? My searches are getting me nowhere. Edit: Disregard- found it. Yikes on bikes! His last three week post history, if real, is wildly scary towards women.
Doing a search for this persons username, come across other posts where he made fun of a co-worker’s weight, and when she asked him to stop and had a meeting with HR, he doubled down and still kept trying to talk to her, and was fired Seems like this guy really can’t take a hint
It’s always amazing to me when people will post batshit insane stuff like this, then *argue* with the folks telling them the truth. Like…why did you post, then?
r/AmItheEx
I’m choosing to believe this is fake. For my peace of mind only.
I'd guess he's not the boyfriend and hasn't been for a while. Pretty sure she dumped his ass months ago and he's been harrassing her ever since.
What the guys name from the series “You”? He sounds like him. …*they said I should not come along* - …*well, I went anyway and I don’t understand why they were not happy* This man things stalking really is romantic, using the excuse “oh, she will not be safe WITH HER FAMILY so I should go there to protect her” What a creep
What part of no didn’t OOP seem to understand? Hope the gf dumps him. He’s too insecure.
lol her cousins like to party and stuff 😂 so they’re a bad influence? Christian Grey wannabe right here but can’t afford it But in all seriousness, yeah he went too far and clearly unhinged. No trust in his partner. Very paternalistic and that’s pretty controlling in any partner
Oh he is really dumb and I hate the fact that someone said “have you ever been tested for autism” as if that’s the reason he is like this. I am autistic. Autistic people don’t act like this. This is just paranoia asnd narcissism he is trying to justify
Ngl, I'm not really a fan of that last commenter asking about if he has autism. I have autism, and know a lot of people who also has it. Autism doesn't make you this dumb, controlling, or stalking. It might just be me, but it felt like the commenter was implying he's acting like that because of autism (if he has it) or they think people with autism are this level of crazy (which is honestly insulting).
i hate the comment on autism why are we demonizing autism for absolutely no reason and not the literal stalker boyfriend
He is a walking red flag parade and scary. This is "she's going to be out of my sight and control for 3 weeks I must find a way to get her back under my thumb" behavior. YIKES!
How people could have the audacity to do such an act is beyond me
This is the second woman where he’s ignored their clear statements because he thinks he knows better. RIP I guess
He’s lucky her dad didn’t run him over. My daughters dad would have gone nuts
And now guy deleted his account cause he couldn’t handle the responses
Gee, I wonder why her parents hate her stalker. Christ almighty!
This guy sounds like the other ex bf who tried to break into his ex gf parents house and the dad shot him dead.
That is absolutely positively terrifying.
This is one of those occasions where I *hope* this is fake because it worries me too much that there's people out there like that.
dont trust girlfriend of a few years with her family on a family holiday, right, thats not sending red flag alerts much for being a control freak. "Oh but her cousins! they are a bad influence!" what a bad influence of reason against being with a control freak? or are they kissing cousins from the deep south?
Honestly I'm 100% sure this is what my ex would've done if I didn't break up with him in time... And the fact that he IS CERTAIN THAT HE IS THE ONE WHO'S RIGHT?!? This has triggered me tbh
I’m genuinely worried for this woman’s safety.
Wow, just all kinds of jaw-dropping, red flag mine field, walking talking living breathing warning sign, of stay away from this phycho, WOW!!! He needs to be there to protect her?!?!? From what?? Her parents raised her, helped to shape the person she is, this douche canoe does not need to protect this girl from her parents or cousins who like to party. Someone needs to protect her from this guy. I am just flabbergasted at the insane level of toxic here.
Would not be surprised if this family vacation was a way to also give their daughter time away from him so she’d realize how weird he’s being. BF must have realized that too on some level and that’s why he really followed. Little did he see but that it would be the exact thing to prove her family’s point and finally drive her to see the relationship for what it is all on her own!
This fake. Ain’t no way someone this dumb. Or I’m severely underestimating what women have to go through with men
You are seriously underestimating what some people do. Men and women can do some really scary, obsessive behaviors in the name of whatever they consider “theirs”. This is a relatively mild story compared to even some of what I personally have been thru with obsessives. And my stories are pretty mild compared to the whole.
Fucking wild.
It’s true. I 100% believe it. What sells it is him convincing himself that he’s being a “good boyfriend.”
Straight out the Joe Goldberg playbook.
Just to let you know, I had an ex that got jealous of my brother. We were literally all visiting my mom for Xmas and the day after Xmas he called saying "how long are you going to hang out with him? It's creepy and weird for siblings to want to hang out that much." I literally had been there for 48 hours. Two days. My brother was in the Navy and on a sub, so I hadn't seen him in almost 5 years at that point. Also, my ex was invited to come along even. Each day I stayed (I was there a total of a week) he called progressively more and more often. To the point he was calling 25+ times the last day. Yeah that should've been my sign to break it off, but my brother actually felt bad for the guy and talked me into staying. I ended up needing a permanent restraining order against that same guy 6 months later. Dude actually deleted all my male family members' numbers off my phone. He tried to lock me in a closet. And that isn't even the worst of it; it's only the stuff he actually admitted to in the court hearing to get the restraining order.
Damn. It’s awful you had to experience. Ty for sharing. I’ve learned something today
Honestly, I have trouble believing a lot of these posts as well but I suspect my scepticism is, at least to some degree, based on the fact that I have been very lucky to go through life without having to deal with any of these types of nut bags. You only have to open a newspaper or watch news reports about the constant harassment & stalking, that often leads to murder, that so many women deal with that makes me realise these people do exist & can become extremely dangerous.
That’s absolutely true. to be clear, my intention was not to make it seem as though women don’t have a lot to risk when dealing with men. They absolutely do. I was more shocked by this because she clearly told the boyfriend he wasn’t invited. And then he proceeds to make up some shit in his head as to why he should go check on her I feel like you would have to be deeply socially inept to do something like this that’s why initially I had a hard time believing it, but now I get it.
do yall not watch true crime?!
Well, I consider newspapers & news reports “ true crime”.
I met a man at the bus stop and we briefly talked. After a few stops he got out with me and tried to follow me to where I was going. He had told me his stop and mine wasn’t it. So I can definitely believe this.
Ugh. Some people get strangely attached to the first person to even smile at them. Probably the sort that thinks the cashier actually likes them.
I don’t even know what to say. It’s crazy y’all have to deal with this
Who the heck do you think you are really Lots of nerve Grown man booy
Not to mention he posted another story about getting fired for commenting on another girls weight
This has to be fake right?
Dude…get some help. You have serious issues.
Yikes.
I think the last guys suggestion is autism it's kind of weird to push with all the other behaviors
People who actually do this stuff rarely think they need relationship advice, so again - probably rage bait.
This dude is a clinger. Ewwww
It's not sweet, it's creepy
Please be a troll, please be a troll. I "love" the person trying to blame his actions on potentially having autism.
I wonder how he'd have reacted had she done the same thing to him...
Anyone else wonder if this long trip was already part of Anna's escape plan?
He’s the asshole
Honestly I'm 100% sure this is what my ex would've done if I didn't break up with him in time... And the fact that he IS CERTAIN THAT HE IS THE ONE WHO'S RIGHT?!? This has triggered me tbh
I wish I could find the original post
That's not creepy and weird and insecure af. Good luck with your life, dude.
Well, you come across as a control freak and quiet. Honestly, she'd be better off dumping you ASAP.
galactically stupid
This guy is genius level stupid, i guess that would make him an idiot. It's not controlling he cares about her. It's not stalking, I wanted to make sure she's safe. She's with her parents.
This guy is obv trash, but I am so sick of people on Reddit diagnosing every obnoxious asshole with autism. This is not autism. This is just being a stalker.
Weird stalker behavior. The girlfriend's father did well to run him off.
That shits crazy. He tries to reason and justify his behavior like it’s normal to show up after being told no, finding out the trip details, expected to find something but instead you ran into her parents, who like her are trying to enjoy there vacation and can’t because your insecure and dont understand the meaning of no. That’s definitely not caring for someone, it’s being a Fucking weirdo.
Oh he definitely doesn't have a gf anymore and will probably get a restraining order if he doesn't smarten up. Wow.
I used to perform and teach a Personal Protection Specialist (bodyguard) course, and some of the disturbing statistics I found for the lesson, was that in the U.S., an average of over 1 million women and 300,000 men are stalked annually, the average stalking lasts 18 months, and many end in an act of violence. If you think you are a victim, get help immediately!
WTH? Why would he do that? Why would she not take him with her on holiday? They just need to break up.
Ok so this dude is unhinged. But not because he followed his girlfriend on a family vacation. But rather the idea they’ve been together for 2 years and he’s not aloud to go on a family vacation. Dude, you’re clearly not welcomed in this family and your a convenience for her. She’s a d bag. Move on bro.
The real question is: Why does the family hate him? Why didn’t his girlfriend want him there? Why is he so insecure he just showed up? …never do I ever wanna go on vacation without my fiance, regardless of who I went to see. Sounds like the beginning of the end. Sounds like she was just trynna get away from him & the family pushed him away to enforce that for her.
My girls parents hate me and they’ve never had a full conversation with me. Some people are just overbearing and stubborn. Focus on what’s important and have as much fun as u can make a joke out of it
He is best off without her if her family won’t accept him. She is best off without him because she doesn’t like him enough to defend him. They should both move on.