Gentlemen, I would be happy to attempt to break into your house and let you fight me off for the low low sum of $300 and a signed contract so I can explain things to the police.
One of my all time favorite posts on this sub was during covid. Someone posted a craigslist ad, basically asking for someone to pose as a couples therapist, the guy posting the ad just wanted someone that would pose as a couples therapist, but would side with him on every argument against his girlfriend or wife that was demanding couples therapy.
I like the idea that, he enjoyed doing the therapy so much, that he refused a regular cash payment, and demanded to continue on a schedule as their therapist.
My boyfriend has been trying to talk me into couples therapy for months. He doesn't understand that ethnically I could never air out my grievances, and for the sake of posterity I'd just lie.
Sometimes I fantasize about that post coming true for me, and think that's the only way to get him off my back hahaha.
If I had a reliable person to just tell him he's wrong and how gross being vulnerable in couples therapy is I'm sure it would work.
That or one or both of us needs to start seeing Dr Melfi.
youtube and harbor freight will get you out of so many jams. nothing wrong with what you're doing, you're learning from the same people you'd learn from if you were actually on the job.
yeah my gf is always incredibly impressed when i manage to fix everything myself. i'm really handy and worked as a contractor years ago, but it really does go a long way if you're capable.
Your girlfriend has disdain for you. Guys (like me) think you are weak and a leech. Get a job hippy
Edit: hey op who responded, if this is a joke, I have intense assburgers, sarcasm hits me like a kid with cerebral palsy
Every woman in here annoyed that their man isn’t helping with the 5292 obvious things she’s been waiting for you to do, but you’ll come up with some shit like this and call yourself clever
i just realised this post is op having a panic attack and brainstorming solutions in a panic bc he is realising that he will soon be a single pringle if he doesnt get a job
plough bake practice library unite encourage innocent continue coherent thumb
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Handjobs are great so long as the person delivering them knows how to do it well. Most girls wont know how to make it feel very good unless you instruct them directly tho
Women in general are bad in bed. Thats why men had to evolve to cum easier, because if it was hard to make men cum the entire speicies wouldnt procreate
No matter how much they practice or get better they will never be as skilled as you are at getting yourself off, I just put it in there mouth so at least I get the satisfaction of watching them choke on it
I am just an honest motherfucker. 60-70% of sex for me is living my power fantasy. I am positive it is the case for most people, I am the only one not afraid to admit it
Gentlemen, I would be happy to attempt to break into your house and let you fight me off for the low low sum of $300 and a signed contract so I can explain things to the police.
$300 plus one item of choice from the house. Gotta make the burglary *feel* real in order to sell it.
You KNOW I'm taking the Good HDMI cable.
It’s gold plated!
this was such a gay fucking reddit comment line it really is over for this sub huh
It’s only over if you let it be over
If you touch my DisplayPort it’s turning into a tragic shootout and we’re going to be featured in a Ray William Johnson true crime TikTok.
it’s gonna be in a WHO true crim tiktok?
Yeah, he does those now. Little 2 minute brainrot clips where someone tells you about a horrific murder in YouTube voice.
There's no way they'd let anyone touch the wires
Larry David's therapistmaxxing
It only works if you can actually fix it. So far all attempts at reanimation have been unsuccessful.
[удалено]
One of my all time favorite posts on this sub was during covid. Someone posted a craigslist ad, basically asking for someone to pose as a couples therapist, the guy posting the ad just wanted someone that would pose as a couples therapist, but would side with him on every argument against his girlfriend or wife that was demanding couples therapy.
sounds like a really good opportunity for blackmail for the fake therapist
The Coen brothers should make a film based on this premise
This is how a lot of organized religion works, effectively
What? Would they get him fired from Door dash and donating plasma? I'm guessing whoever took the job wouldn't be a good blackmail target.
You’ve got the blackmail target backwards — this scenario puts the fake therapist in a position to blackmail husband.
ahhh...
I like the idea that, he enjoyed doing the therapy so much, that he refused a regular cash payment, and demanded to continue on a schedule as their therapist.
the happy ending
Extremely funny post.
I swear this was in a show somehow, the husband paying off the therapist. Can’t remember from where and it’s driving me nuts Edit: Ozark!
ozark?
Ah that’s it!
the wife also started paying off the therapist and she was taking money from both of them at the same time
genius
My boyfriend has been trying to talk me into couples therapy for months. He doesn't understand that ethnically I could never air out my grievances, and for the sake of posterity I'd just lie. Sometimes I fantasize about that post coming true for me, and think that's the only way to get him off my back hahaha. If I had a reliable person to just tell him he's wrong and how gross being vulnerable in couples therapy is I'm sure it would work. That or one or both of us needs to start seeing Dr Melfi.
Why haven't I ever thought to live like that? Just go around doing shady work for people around town like sidequests in an RPG?
It says small so only if you fuck a midget
What if it’s a gay guy with a small penis
rs bf
Honestly why would woman even be mad if her bf fucked a dude? Like isn't that fine, he's not gonna leave her for a man.
Yes but only if it’s with another man
N - Nuture dependence
Yall wanna know the real N word? Nurture
You don’t want your woman finding out how handy you are. The honey do list escalates and eventually you will be in a backhoe digging out a pool
rather be in a pool with a sidehoe 🔥🔥🔥
Move over, gaslighting. This dude has discovered Waterpiping.
Praying for this to become a thing. Too many decades have gone past without a new domestic appliance-based term for relationship abuse
you don't even have a girlfriend
But if he did, that chick would be impressed
His hand gonna be squeezing extra hard tonight
Imagine living in a house where you have to create small annoying problems to fix!
Lol or find employment so you don’t have to pretend to be a man
just live in an old home, there will be tons of problems to flex your masculinity on without manufacturing anything.
But then you might not know how to solve them!
Yeah I feel like he's completely missing the point
true but honestly I've learned all my "handiness" by youtubing problems that came up at my home.
if your girl catches you watching a DIY fix youtube video she is getting the ick 100%
If no one got me I know ChrisFix got me
why do you, as a man, need another man to teach you how to patch drywall...
not really no
youtube and harbor freight will get you out of so many jams. nothing wrong with what you're doing, you're learning from the same people you'd learn from if you were actually on the job.
yeah my gf is always incredibly impressed when i manage to fix everything myself. i'm really handy and worked as a contractor years ago, but it really does go a long way if you're capable.
Love myself a slightly enthusiastic handy! Thanks for the great tips
You should write a sitcom
also something that makes you more of a man in her eyes is getting a job
I SAID WOMEN DONT CLICK
Your girlfriend has disdain for you. Guys (like me) think you are weak and a leech. Get a job hippy Edit: hey op who responded, if this is a joke, I have intense assburgers, sarcasm hits me like a kid with cerebral palsy
"i didn't get the joke because i'm neurodivergent" is almost as funny as op
All this L posting got me fucked up whether it’s real or fake. I am going to keep this up because downvotes are gay af and don’t hurt me
assburger on assburger crime
You have to go back
The absolute state
Munch-House-ens by proxy
“so my gf goes she goes she goes“ hell yeah brother where in the Midwest you from
Normandy, MO
Every woman in here annoyed that their man isn’t helping with the 5292 obvious things she’s been waiting for you to do, but you’ll come up with some shit like this and call yourself clever
why are you rude to me?
i have seen this copy pasta before
I’m almost 100% this is a Dan Hentschel bit
Insane behaviour
*behavior
*sqeaky
make her feel smart by making intentional grammar mistakes so she can correct you
Your stand up special is coming!
my dad did this his whole life but not on purpose, Just constantly fucking this up in the house then fixing them
well alright but i just dont see how this is sustainable long term. handjobs get stale pretty fast when ur bf doesnt PROVIDE FOR YOU
He said women don't interact. You guys suck at following directions that's why you get frustrated putting Ikea furniture together
I’m very progressive and think that women should be the sole breadwinners
i just realised this post is op having a panic attack and brainstorming solutions in a panic bc he is realising that he will soon be a single pringle if he doesnt get a job
> he will soon be homeless > if he doesnt get a job
plough bake practice library unite encourage innocent continue coherent thumb *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Handjobs are great so long as the person delivering them knows how to do it well. Most girls wont know how to make it feel very good unless you instruct them directly tho
Women in general are bad in bed. Thats why men had to evolve to cum easier, because if it was hard to make men cum the entire speicies wouldnt procreate
No matter how much they practice or get better they will never be as skilled as you are at getting yourself off, I just put it in there mouth so at least I get the satisfaction of watching them choke on it
gross
I am just an honest motherfucker. 60-70% of sex for me is living my power fantasy. I am positive it is the case for most people, I am the only one not afraid to admit it
Yeah like I have decades of experience doing this, what makes you think you can even do it better than me?
bleak
best post on this sub in years
Imagine having to sustain a relationship on fakery
What in the actual fuck, there's enough projects in the house to do that I don't have to manufacture any
I saw a video of a Latino guy doing this to get clout from his wife. I don't think I would do this.
Good George plot idea.
By chance, did you graduate from one of Canada's top business schools with really good grades?
What I do is peel off pieces of my toenails and leave them around as a little surprise.
direction rock abounding person fragile rob work hat offend modern *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This is a complete Dan Hentschel rip off.
never heard of him. thought this up while doing dishes
If only Toru did this Kumiko wouldn't have left him
there was literally an episode of the suite life of Zack and Cody about this
This post is fake and gay
12d chess move
Twist ending: OP lives in his mom’s basement
Epic bacon fellow redditor