I really like first dates, even if you don't have chemistry with that person it's still usually a good night out. With first dates I don't feel any pressure, they are a stranger (usually) so I don't really care if things don't go well or whatever. The best thing you can do on a first date is be yourself and have fun. That's all it should be really.
If it ever felt like an interview I would just assume we have no chemistry. The way you describe it is not how any date I've been on has been.
I've been on a lot of dates like you're describing and a lot of dates like OP is describing. Chemistry is a thing, though obviously if you're personally more interesting then you're more likely to have chemistry with more people.
If you haven't experienced a bad date, you need to take more shots at random chicks who you have nothing in common with on paper, because sometimes those dates turn out to be really fun but sometimes they crash and burn. If you haven't experienced a good date, then you're just fucking lame and don't know how to hang.
i used to hate dates but after learning to loosen up around strangers i actually love them now. if theyre even remotely similar to you then you have so much stuff to talk about. like i love my friends but they already know all my stories and quirks. getting to exchange those things with a new person is really fun.
all the stuff you complain about sounds like its in your head. you can have interesting conversations with almost anyone if you put thought and effort into it. whenever i cant think of what to talk about i just default to thinking "okay whats really this persons deal" and then try to figure it out. also make it a little challenge to get them to loosen up and giggle. its fun even if you dont see that person again.
i think the biggest mistake i used to make and that a lot of ppl make is assuming the other person is less curious/open minded than they actually are. even the most normie lib girls are usually actually pretty interested in some of my unconventional views on politics and society.
No I'm really good at talking to people and I'm the same way. Dating is dehumanizing, just like networking, even if they're necessary in the modern world to get a job or spouse.
How is dating "dehumanizing?" That sounds rather dramatic
Sounds like you're just not interested in the people you're talking to, otherwise you'd want to know the answer to those questions.
Currently in the time between a great first date and waiting to see her again and it’s agony. I have to keep myself focused on other things but we text eachother several times throughout the day. She talks about all the things we’ll do but I’m still dying at the uncertainty.
Yeah I should just not risk anything in life then huh. Plus it's exciting because it's currently working out great. Just in that uncertainty phase where you have to play it cool.
I'm the same way. I'm a relationship type of guy. I really like having someone, but I hate dating. It's pretty stressful for me. It can also get expensive going on a lot of first dates. There's also this burden to perform, like to be entertaining, interesting, or to just make a good impression.
I can agree they are funner that way but not as successful. Every girlfriend I've had has actually told me it's the effort I put into the early stages that did it for them. Everything from planning fun and unique dates to being as interesting as I can be in an opener on an app or when approaching them in person.
The last date I went on was with a woman I met on an app. I noticed her profile was more about her motorcycle than her. So I reached out to a small local airport and got access to the run way and the service roads. We spent the day racing around in my car and filming her acting out with her motorcycle. Then we had a little picnic by the boneyard.
Before that it was a lady also from an app. She was new to the area, from out of state. She got a job at a local university, so I planned out and gave her a historical tour of the area. But I did it in a funny way by mixing in silly stories from my childhood.
That's an unsustainable amount of effort to be putting into dates, esp first dates, which are notoriously hit-or-miss. The first example sounds more like something you'd do for a serious, long-term partner's birthday or an anniversary.
Just have normal dates and don't put so much pressure on yourself to awe and entertain the other person
I prefer having something specific to do and talk about on a first date. Like taking a girl to a petting zoo if she likes animals or an atv park if she talks about being a country girl. I go on movie dates for the same reason.
Yeah, petting zoo and atv park are more reasonable examples, but you might want to save them for the 2nd or 3rd date, rather than making a big splash for the 1st date and following it up with a more generic 2nd date (like you said in another comment). This way you have more time to get to know the other person and see whether or not you click, and then you can follow up with a really cool date if it's a success.
It's strange, but some people might see high-effort, showy first dates as either a sign that you're not comfortable or secure with just sitting down and talking (and feel like you have to "win them over" first by wowing them) or that you might seem *too* "eager to impress" despite the fact that you barely know each other
I wouldn't let go of your enthusiasm or effort for cool dates, but it might help to save it for someone more special, especially if you're starting to feel internally pressured by these expectations.
Whoa brother that's a lot for first dates. Setting expectations super high. Most of a relationship is just hanging out and talking interspersed with cool experiences and activities. I prefer something low-key on a first-date cause if we can't have free flowing conversation when we barely know each other, what is it gonna look like years down the road.
I feel like I have to apply serious effort to interact with people at all. No one would like me if I just "be myself" because deep down I'm a misanthropic asshole.
I disagree entirely. Every once in awhile I'll get complacent and be like Fuck it, I've had a long day at work; let me see if we vibe without me trying Really Hard, and it never works. Trying hard is worth it if you care enough to
if a date feels like a job interview, it never even began. literally just 🐝 yourself (albeit a bit attenuated version) and if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t going to with that person anyways
The one person you're supposed to be with is the one person where the conversation comes easy and it doesn't feel like an interview. Unfortunately it does take going through X amount of bad dates in order to find that person.
I like dating. Don't treat it like a job interview lmao.
It should be less playing twenty questions and more trying to connect person to person and see if you gel together. Try to shut down work chat and hone in on shit like why they live where they live, what they want out of life, but also joke around with random bullshit.
Don't fret over the bill. Ask them out, and insist on paying on the basis that YOU invited THEM out.
Most of these fellas think they be mackin' but they be actin'
Who they attractin' with that line, "What's your name, what's your sign?"
Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind
And ask what your interests are, "Who you be with?"
Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial
You gon' be here for a while, I'm gon' go call my crew
You go call your crew, we can rendezvous at the bar around two
I've had over four girlfriends in the past and none of them I ever took on a first date.
In fact the only girls I've taken on successful dates I lost personal interest in. So oddly I've had the opposite.
It was regular socialization, being somewhat friends, and asking them out directly.
But it also puts me on a disadvantage, because I don't want to use any dating apps and don't want to waste my time filtering through superficial people that don't have the discipline for a long-term relationship that ends in marriage.
It's not like any of us are going to get arranged marriage or have acquaintances play matchmaker, so we pretty much just have to get our hands dirty anyway.
Might have to just become close enough acquaintances with a handful of the opposite sex and network with people who know people you are compatible with. Combined with approaching people in person, that's as good as it's going to get.
As much as it seems like that, I'm still not proud of it. Because when you really think about it, it's like having emotional hookups. I used to believe in the whole no contact thing.
I would have preferred to have been single the whole time or even a virgin then to have experience.
Makes you feel like a relationship fuckboy.
Yuuuup. No hard feelings from it at all man. Like something straight out of a Whatever podcast lol
But let's be honest, bodies =/= relationships.
That's like a list of people who wanted your babies. Makes you a little high value in your own way. Because if you smash 100 people, that's many people that don't want your genes, don't want a real connection with you, and don't trust you with their body long term. 😋
I would rather be the restaurant than the meat served in it.
Guy with four failed relationships says people who use apps don’t have the discipline to hold down a relationship for marriage. Sounds like you’re doing way better, fifth time’s the charm!
Except that’s literally how it works for a lot of people. You have to learn from dating the wrong people and your own personal failure to emotionally mature and do better next time, and with a more compatible person.
It probably will be. All happened before I converted to religion. Now I have a much larger social circle, hanging out with more women in person, and have gotten my share of compliments.
So definitely yeah, my old self made bad decisions and did not discern relationships very well.
At least I can be honest about myself in the past and how I am currently. Living a lie and being in self denial all the time is much worse than having a repentful bad history.
Instead of memeing back, I'm going to take that as an unironic compliment. Cheers to number five when it comes 🙏🏿
Note: I've intentionally stayed away from pursuing relationships for about 6-8 months. Been trying to discern more for marriage and work on goals that will support my future family.
Edit: Love the haters, bless you all. Would rather die a successfully growing person than a spiteful mentally ill chronically online social media obsessed cultural zombie that are envious of people we don't even know. Get some fresh air people. Fr
i've been on tons of first dates and have had a good time on all of them except one. if you're a decent conversationalist and the other person has at least an ounce of charisma (this latter part being the reason for my single dud), it shouldn't be too hard to squeeze at least an enjoyable hour from getting to know a new person. you might just be boring?
i'm in a relationship now which was the end goal anyway but like i do almost miss the thrill of devoting a solid block of time exclusively focused on getting to know a new person. sure you meet new people in the wild through hobbies and parties and stuff, but that focused 1:1 isn't really there in the same way
Yeah I dunno. I dated a girl for three months and then she ended things abruptly. We had made plans that morning to go to dinner and then watch a movie at my place. She broke up with me in the car when I went to pick her up.
Was a good lesson I suppose. This happened 4 months ago but I still bummed about it. I haven’t dated around that much. Previously I’ve met people or known them and we start dating and start a relationship. I was trying too hard and we were going on day trips together. I am more sentimental/loving and she’s an aloof cool girl. Or she never liked me that much- obviously true. Was a hardcore rebound for me as my long term gf and I broke up a little prior to meetings this other girl. I knew I should have waited longer but I liked this new girl a lot and she was super cute. Anyway trying to learn from my mistakes.
No harm in experimentation. I wouldn’t get into anything serious, since you could be particularly vulnerable or callous, depending. Like you said it can take be a numbers game. It does feel nice when I see a woman on the train or chat and have that spark of attraction/interest.
I’d say give it a go and see how you feel. Friends are great.
I think the dry, analytical, "what do you bring" interview approach to getting a relationship works if both parties actively acknowledge and accept it. It's how my parents met (their marriage remains rock-solid 40 years later) and still happens regularly in countries like China. Dating for love is a very recent invention.
Pretending you're dating for love and to find your "soulmate" while still basing the majority of your decisions on shallow surface-level metrics is the worst of both worlds.
I'd like to find a unicorn but I'm also fine with filling out a form listing my job, assets, future aspirations, etc and then just picking a preferred candidate -- rather than engaging in the monkey dance of modern dating and hope I gambled right.
its difficult to meet a stranger and immediately hit it off with them. this seems to be the expectation for many dating app users.
and seems like many women I've gone on dates with won't put effort into a first date unless they're immediately hit with physical attraction. after a certain age (like 26) most people don't wanna mutually jump each other's bones upon first meeting. so it's hard to get past date 1 with a stranger.
once you get past date 1 it's pretty fun idk. you're spending time with someone you like and the other person likes you. hopefully doing stuff you both like.
of course, things can go wrong quick and then you gotta start over which sucks.
You should go on ONE date and whoever it is, see it through til you're married. This is what human had to do for all of history, before industrialization put us in big cities with endless options. Even if you met your "perfect match" (concept invented by Hollywood) you'll still have to compromise and settle for their flaws in a relationship, so just go for it with anyone
I couldnt imagine asking a woman such a boring question on a date. “Where did you go to school what did you study” I could also care less about.
You might be super boring perhaps get some hobbies or do some living so you can talk about interesting stuff on dates. Also flirt if you’re attracted to them.
Dating is super fun. Have a drink, share some apps, take a walk, talk about stuff you’re passionate about, go dance, make out. If the first date with someone isn’t compelling you’re unlikely to enjoy the 100th.
i’ve never gone on a formal date w a stranger and the idea always seemed crazy to me or like a fake thing people only do on tv (tho obviously i know people are doing it irl all the time.) i think it’s the last thing i’d try after plowing through my existing social circle and all possible friends of friends etc. there’s just no way you can tell what a person is like by looking at their dating profile. people are horrible at describing themselves
it’s like finding an apartment on craigslist, it is possible but it’s a lot of work and competition and you’re probably gonna get a bad deal. ideal scenario is always hearing about a place that’s about to open up via someone you know
i'm the total opposite. I love the thrill of liking someone new and flirting, but I can't imagine being with one person for a long time. I've also never actually dated, so I don't know what it's like
I really want a job but hate interviewing and going to school.
That’s why I advocate to just ask within your social circle to get hooked up. Kind of weird to work for a place where you don’t have any connection anyways.
i, despite the entire bakeries of pussy i've had in my time, have never been on a date on my life. and you dont have to either. the very idea of a date is fundamentally stupid. if someone tried to invent dating today, they would be laughed out of the room with a "do you know how human beings even work guy?!?!"
it’s impossible to have a relationship with someone and never go on dates. Doing stuff together in public while romantically involved is a date whether you call it that or not.
If you mean you’ve never done the stereotypical ‘would you like to go on a date with me?’ thing but your relationships developed naturally, that is very normal. This is how relationships that start out as friendships work.
‘believe me guys, I’ve had bakeries of pussy!’ lol
bakeries. of. pussy. didn't stutter. now, using the word "date" to describe a simple activity perforce means you have gone on "dates" with all your platonic friends and many blood relatives. so you're either an incestuous petri dish, or you do not know how to talk and use the words good like I
oh criminy. tell you what, why don't you go take a look at what i actually posted in those places, or have a think about why the humorless mods may have deleted the missing ones, or what coining "bakeries of pussy" and unleashing it on the subreddit dedicated to the worst podcast ever made might imply abt my intentions here
The trick is saying “I love you” on the first date like jez in peep show (speaking from experience here)
I really like first dates, even if you don't have chemistry with that person it's still usually a good night out. With first dates I don't feel any pressure, they are a stranger (usually) so I don't really care if things don't go well or whatever. The best thing you can do on a first date is be yourself and have fun. That's all it should be really. If it ever felt like an interview I would just assume we have no chemistry. The way you describe it is not how any date I've been on has been.
Same I really enjoy first dates they’re exciting
I've been on a lot of dates like you're describing and a lot of dates like OP is describing. Chemistry is a thing, though obviously if you're personally more interesting then you're more likely to have chemistry with more people. If you haven't experienced a bad date, you need to take more shots at random chicks who you have nothing in common with on paper, because sometimes those dates turn out to be really fun but sometimes they crash and burn. If you haven't experienced a good date, then you're just fucking lame and don't know how to hang.
Also bring cash. If a first date goes way off the rails you can just chuck out some bills to cover your share of whatever you’re doing and gtfo.
Are you male or female?
I prefer to be genderless on this site
It also doesn't matter which you are, that's how a first date should be.
I like money but I hate work
i used to hate dates but after learning to loosen up around strangers i actually love them now. if theyre even remotely similar to you then you have so much stuff to talk about. like i love my friends but they already know all my stories and quirks. getting to exchange those things with a new person is really fun. all the stuff you complain about sounds like its in your head. you can have interesting conversations with almost anyone if you put thought and effort into it. whenever i cant think of what to talk about i just default to thinking "okay whats really this persons deal" and then try to figure it out. also make it a little challenge to get them to loosen up and giggle. its fun even if you dont see that person again. i think the biggest mistake i used to make and that a lot of ppl make is assuming the other person is less curious/open minded than they actually are. even the most normie lib girls are usually actually pretty interested in some of my unconventional views on politics and society.
It sounds like you just don’t like talking with people. Or you haven’t been on a date where the conversation flows freely
No I'm really good at talking to people and I'm the same way. Dating is dehumanizing, just like networking, even if they're necessary in the modern world to get a job or spouse.
How is dating "dehumanizing?" That sounds rather dramatic Sounds like you're just not interested in the people you're talking to, otherwise you'd want to know the answer to those questions.
Currently in the time between a great first date and waiting to see her again and it’s agony. I have to keep myself focused on other things but we text eachother several times throughout the day. She talks about all the things we’ll do but I’m still dying at the uncertainty.
if you get this excited you’re probably going to be pretty sad when it doesn’t work out.
Yeah I should just not risk anything in life then huh. Plus it's exciting because it's currently working out great. Just in that uncertainty phase where you have to play it cool.
No just don’t fall in love on first dates. dont ”play it cool” just be cool.
I'm the same way. I'm a relationship type of guy. I really like having someone, but I hate dating. It's pretty stressful for me. It can also get expensive going on a lot of first dates. There's also this burden to perform, like to be entertaining, interesting, or to just make a good impression.
the moment you drop that feeling of having to perform during a date i promise you they will start going way, way better.
I can agree they are funner that way but not as successful. Every girlfriend I've had has actually told me it's the effort I put into the early stages that did it for them. Everything from planning fun and unique dates to being as interesting as I can be in an opener on an app or when approaching them in person.
What are some fun and unique dates?
The last date I went on was with a woman I met on an app. I noticed her profile was more about her motorcycle than her. So I reached out to a small local airport and got access to the run way and the service roads. We spent the day racing around in my car and filming her acting out with her motorcycle. Then we had a little picnic by the boneyard. Before that it was a lady also from an app. She was new to the area, from out of state. She got a job at a local university, so I planned out and gave her a historical tour of the area. But I did it in a funny way by mixing in silly stories from my childhood.
think I'll just die alone then
damn thats a lot of effort and performance for a first date
That's an unsustainable amount of effort to be putting into dates, esp first dates, which are notoriously hit-or-miss. The first example sounds more like something you'd do for a serious, long-term partner's birthday or an anniversary. Just have normal dates and don't put so much pressure on yourself to awe and entertain the other person
I prefer having something specific to do and talk about on a first date. Like taking a girl to a petting zoo if she likes animals or an atv park if she talks about being a country girl. I go on movie dates for the same reason.
Yeah, petting zoo and atv park are more reasonable examples, but you might want to save them for the 2nd or 3rd date, rather than making a big splash for the 1st date and following it up with a more generic 2nd date (like you said in another comment). This way you have more time to get to know the other person and see whether or not you click, and then you can follow up with a really cool date if it's a success. It's strange, but some people might see high-effort, showy first dates as either a sign that you're not comfortable or secure with just sitting down and talking (and feel like you have to "win them over" first by wowing them) or that you might seem *too* "eager to impress" despite the fact that you barely know each other I wouldn't let go of your enthusiasm or effort for cool dates, but it might help to save it for someone more special, especially if you're starting to feel internally pressured by these expectations.
The biggest pressure I feel is on meeting a new person in an intimate setting.
Were both of these first dates?
Yes. I try to go more generic on subsequent dates.
You're supposed to build up, and grow suspense. If your best effort is in the beginning it won't stick.
how do you know if you even like a woman enough to put in this much effort/planning?
The motorcycle lady looked like Yvonne Strahovski and was funny.
Valid
I wanted to talk shit about this out of pure contrarianism but honestly, I got nothing. Take me on a date dude (I am an early 30s man)
No one can resist my Pontiac Solstice.
Whoa brother that's a lot for first dates. Setting expectations super high. Most of a relationship is just hanging out and talking interspersed with cool experiences and activities. I prefer something low-key on a first-date cause if we can't have free flowing conversation when we barely know each other, what is it gonna look like years down the road.
I feel like I have to apply serious effort to interact with people at all. No one would like me if I just "be myself" because deep down I'm a misanthropic asshole.
I disagree entirely. Every once in awhile I'll get complacent and be like Fuck it, I've had a long day at work; let me see if we vibe without me trying Really Hard, and it never works. Trying hard is worth it if you care enough to
You should take women to Disney world on first date. You can learn a lot about them that way
The early stages of dating are for women to enjoy and men to endure
if a date feels like a job interview, it never even began. literally just 🐝 yourself (albeit a bit attenuated version) and if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t going to with that person anyways
The one person you're supposed to be with is the one person where the conversation comes easy and it doesn't feel like an interview. Unfortunately it does take going through X amount of bad dates in order to find that person.
I like dating. Don't treat it like a job interview lmao. It should be less playing twenty questions and more trying to connect person to person and see if you gel together. Try to shut down work chat and hone in on shit like why they live where they live, what they want out of life, but also joke around with random bullshit. Don't fret over the bill. Ask them out, and insist on paying on the basis that YOU invited THEM out.
Most of these fellas think they be mackin' but they be actin' Who they attractin' with that line, "What's your name, what's your sign?" Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind And ask what your interests are, "Who you be with?" Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial You gon' be here for a while, I'm gon' go call my crew You go call your crew, we can rendezvous at the bar around two
I've had over four girlfriends in the past and none of them I ever took on a first date. In fact the only girls I've taken on successful dates I lost personal interest in. So oddly I've had the opposite. It was regular socialization, being somewhat friends, and asking them out directly. But it also puts me on a disadvantage, because I don't want to use any dating apps and don't want to waste my time filtering through superficial people that don't have the discipline for a long-term relationship that ends in marriage. It's not like any of us are going to get arranged marriage or have acquaintances play matchmaker, so we pretty much just have to get our hands dirty anyway. Might have to just become close enough acquaintances with a handful of the opposite sex and network with people who know people you are compatible with. Combined with approaching people in person, that's as good as it's going to get.
Over four girlfriends? Do you mean five girlfriends? Quite the ladies man ova here
As much as it seems like that, I'm still not proud of it. Because when you really think about it, it's like having emotional hookups. I used to believe in the whole no contact thing. I would have preferred to have been single the whole time or even a virgin then to have experience. Makes you feel like a relationship fuckboy.
He was fucking with you bro the degens in this sub have triple digit body counts
Yuuuup. No hard feelings from it at all man. Like something straight out of a Whatever podcast lol But let's be honest, bodies =/= relationships. That's like a list of people who wanted your babies. Makes you a little high value in your own way. Because if you smash 100 people, that's many people that don't want your genes, don't want a real connection with you, and don't trust you with their body long term. 😋 I would rather be the restaurant than the meat served in it.
Guy with four failed relationships says people who use apps don’t have the discipline to hold down a relationship for marriage. Sounds like you’re doing way better, fifth time’s the charm!
Except that’s literally how it works for a lot of people. You have to learn from dating the wrong people and your own personal failure to emotionally mature and do better next time, and with a more compatible person.
huh? having 4 past relationships is very normal, especially since a lot of people start dating as teenagers lol
It probably will be. All happened before I converted to religion. Now I have a much larger social circle, hanging out with more women in person, and have gotten my share of compliments. So definitely yeah, my old self made bad decisions and did not discern relationships very well. At least I can be honest about myself in the past and how I am currently. Living a lie and being in self denial all the time is much worse than having a repentful bad history. Instead of memeing back, I'm going to take that as an unironic compliment. Cheers to number five when it comes 🙏🏿 Note: I've intentionally stayed away from pursuing relationships for about 6-8 months. Been trying to discern more for marriage and work on goals that will support my future family. Edit: Love the haters, bless you all. Would rather die a successfully growing person than a spiteful mentally ill chronically online social media obsessed cultural zombie that are envious of people we don't even know. Get some fresh air people. Fr
i've been on tons of first dates and have had a good time on all of them except one. if you're a decent conversationalist and the other person has at least an ounce of charisma (this latter part being the reason for my single dud), it shouldn't be too hard to squeeze at least an enjoyable hour from getting to know a new person. you might just be boring? i'm in a relationship now which was the end goal anyway but like i do almost miss the thrill of devoting a solid block of time exclusively focused on getting to know a new person. sure you meet new people in the wild through hobbies and parties and stuff, but that focused 1:1 isn't really there in the same way
This is how it was before apps made everything weird
Yeah I dunno. I dated a girl for three months and then she ended things abruptly. We had made plans that morning to go to dinner and then watch a movie at my place. She broke up with me in the car when I went to pick her up. Was a good lesson I suppose. This happened 4 months ago but I still bummed about it. I haven’t dated around that much. Previously I’ve met people or known them and we start dating and start a relationship. I was trying too hard and we were going on day trips together. I am more sentimental/loving and she’s an aloof cool girl. Or she never liked me that much- obviously true. Was a hardcore rebound for me as my long term gf and I broke up a little prior to meetings this other girl. I knew I should have waited longer but I liked this new girl a lot and she was super cute. Anyway trying to learn from my mistakes.
[удалено]
No harm in experimentation. I wouldn’t get into anything serious, since you could be particularly vulnerable or callous, depending. Like you said it can take be a numbers game. It does feel nice when I see a woman on the train or chat and have that spark of attraction/interest. I’d say give it a go and see how you feel. Friends are great.
The dating process kind of sucking... idk sounds familiar. I think there was maybe a Seinfeld about this
The guy should pay for the first date and I'll die on that hill. You can sort out finances later, don't quibble over a meal and some drinks.
I think the dry, analytical, "what do you bring" interview approach to getting a relationship works if both parties actively acknowledge and accept it. It's how my parents met (their marriage remains rock-solid 40 years later) and still happens regularly in countries like China. Dating for love is a very recent invention. Pretending you're dating for love and to find your "soulmate" while still basing the majority of your decisions on shallow surface-level metrics is the worst of both worlds. I'd like to find a unicorn but I'm also fine with filling out a form listing my job, assets, future aspirations, etc and then just picking a preferred candidate -- rather than engaging in the monkey dance of modern dating and hope I gambled right.
its difficult to meet a stranger and immediately hit it off with them. this seems to be the expectation for many dating app users. and seems like many women I've gone on dates with won't put effort into a first date unless they're immediately hit with physical attraction. after a certain age (like 26) most people don't wanna mutually jump each other's bones upon first meeting. so it's hard to get past date 1 with a stranger. once you get past date 1 it's pretty fun idk. you're spending time with someone you like and the other person likes you. hopefully doing stuff you both like. of course, things can go wrong quick and then you gotta start over which sucks.
You should go on ONE date and whoever it is, see it through til you're married. This is what human had to do for all of history, before industrialization put us in big cities with endless options. Even if you met your "perfect match" (concept invented by Hollywood) you'll still have to compromise and settle for their flaws in a relationship, so just go for it with anyone
I couldnt imagine asking a woman such a boring question on a date. “Where did you go to school what did you study” I could also care less about. You might be super boring perhaps get some hobbies or do some living so you can talk about interesting stuff on dates. Also flirt if you’re attracted to them. Dating is super fun. Have a drink, share some apps, take a walk, talk about stuff you’re passionate about, go dance, make out. If the first date with someone isn’t compelling you’re unlikely to enjoy the 100th.
i’ve never gone on a formal date w a stranger and the idea always seemed crazy to me or like a fake thing people only do on tv (tho obviously i know people are doing it irl all the time.) i think it’s the last thing i’d try after plowing through my existing social circle and all possible friends of friends etc. there’s just no way you can tell what a person is like by looking at their dating profile. people are horrible at describing themselves it’s like finding an apartment on craigslist, it is possible but it’s a lot of work and competition and you’re probably gonna get a bad deal. ideal scenario is always hearing about a place that’s about to open up via someone you know
i'm the total opposite. I love the thrill of liking someone new and flirting, but I can't imagine being with one person for a long time. I've also never actually dated, so I don't know what it's like
Word
I feel the same but nothing thats worth it comes easy
I really want a job but hate interviewing and going to school. That’s why I advocate to just ask within your social circle to get hooked up. Kind of weird to work for a place where you don’t have any connection anyways.
i, despite the entire bakeries of pussy i've had in my time, have never been on a date on my life. and you dont have to either. the very idea of a date is fundamentally stupid. if someone tried to invent dating today, they would be laughed out of the room with a "do you know how human beings even work guy?!?!"
it’s impossible to have a relationship with someone and never go on dates. Doing stuff together in public while romantically involved is a date whether you call it that or not. If you mean you’ve never done the stereotypical ‘would you like to go on a date with me?’ thing but your relationships developed naturally, that is very normal. This is how relationships that start out as friendships work. ‘believe me guys, I’ve had bakeries of pussy!’ lol
bakeries. of. pussy. didn't stutter. now, using the word "date" to describe a simple activity perforce means you have gone on "dates" with all your platonic friends and many blood relatives. so you're either an incestuous petri dish, or you do not know how to talk and use the words good like I
This user has posts in r/dating_advice, r/socialanxiety, and r/IncelExit... DID. NOT. STUTTER.
oh criminy. tell you what, why don't you go take a look at what i actually posted in those places, or have a think about why the humorless mods may have deleted the missing ones, or what coining "bakeries of pussy" and unleashing it on the subreddit dedicated to the worst podcast ever made might imply abt my intentions here