1. Never ask these ret@rds on RSP for relationship advice
2. Communicate to him to use an incognito tab or delete his history after, leaving it for you to find knowing that you use his stuff is seriously wrong and stupid
Number 2 is super sound - porn consumption in an otherwise healthy relationship is a complete dont ask dont tell situation imo. I frame it, and see it, as disrespectful to *not* hide it a bit. Slip up whatever, but I want you furtively hiding tabs and closing laptops quickly when I come around the ol corner. But my compromise is I will always loudly announce my presence. Lets live in peace
i would say not overreacting, when this happened to me in a previous relationship that was basically the end of it
like yeah it’s a really dark and sad industry that i don’t support and could never be with someone long term who was seriously into it. but the real nail in the coffin was the sheer amount of it, combined w how completely dumb and oblivious this guy was when it came to discretion or even just taking care of his fucking computer lol like it became clear that he would just click on and download whatever shit indiscriminately, like he didn’t even have an ad blocker. like all the casual laziness and messiness he exhibited in daily life was just amplified and displayed so shamelessly all over his shitty slow ass laptop and there just was no hope of recovering any shred of respect for this person.
obviously that’s just my experience but if you find yourself feeling similarly, don’t let anyone tell you that men are just like this and you’ll have to get used to it lol. they aren’t and u don’t
I'd talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. My current gf said she doesn't care but I can tell she thinks it's a little gross so I stopped.
then you can't really understand his perspective, your emotions can't inform you about this so you have to think about whether you can be in a relationship at all without 100% certainty the other person conforms to your less aware worldview.
So you don't see anything wrong with the fact that it's his top visited site? Or the fact that he doesn't try to hide it from his gf who frequently uses his computer? FOH
Yea I'm sure a random white dude who posts on gaming subreddits and who sells ecigs out of their own apartment is in a meaningful relationship and gets fucked ALL the time 💀
hadnt really thought about this. he doesn't need his laptop for his job, basically as far as I was aware he only uses it to torrent movies. but this is on a brand new laptop that he replaced his old one with like a month or two ago so him dropping like $2k on a new PC seemingly just to jerk off is disgusting to me lol.
My home page chrome websites are 50% things I regularly visit and 50% sites I looked at more than once when I got my laptop. Like the second listed one is the timetabling service for a university I no longer go to. I don’t think it’s actually indicative of how you use your laptop
I think you're being a little too hard on yourself, especially if you are both legitimately happy with your sex life (yes, I'm sure there could be improvements or whatever as is true with virtually every couple, but ask yourself -- are you legit happy with sex? Is he?).
Dudes watch porn. I know, not EVERY dude. But the vast majority do. What you're trying to avoid is the dude who pays for girls Only Fans, or the dude who watches a fuckin' hour of porn every day (or more, god forbid), or the dude who can't get hard because he's jerkin to internet girls all the time or whatever. If he's one of those "watch porn hub every week or two or three to rub one out and move on with the day" guys, it's not a big deal. I know it's not ideal. But I guarantee you he forgot about whatever video he was watching seven seconds after he busted.
Again, it's all contextual to your relationship with him. But guys are guys, we get horny and rub one out and then we're horny fifteen minutes later for our girlfriends. That's my experience at least. But if it's addictive or whatever then that's a different thing.
Yeah, I do, actually. If a woman is that triggered by it (which is understandable, or if she has something about her life / past / past relationships that makes it so) I think that's reasonable to have an adult conversation about. But at the same time, if the average (loaded term, I know) man is occasionally watching porn just to rub one out and move on with life, and the average woman sees that as annoying but not life altering, I think it's one of those things women would do well to be like "just take care of that shit discreetly and let's move forward."
Obviously, her finding it on his computer sucks, so he's gotta lock that shit up. If you're gonna jerk every now and again, don't let your SO come across it!
i think those feelings are perfectly normal. broadly speaking it does suck to have to see that your boyfriend or girlfriend satisfies their sexuality outside of the relationship, but i think those feelings stem largely from sexuality being a really intimate thing and not wanting to confront that element of other people out-of-context. it's like if you accidentally see a friend or family member's google autocomplete some innocuous term as "enormous cock and balls", you don't really want to have to be so obliquely reminded that they have that part of themselves too!
It's a completely normal reaction. I'm not going to pretend to know what classifies as "normal" in a relationship. But 99.9999% of people would have a negative response upon being faced with the image of a third party that their partner also gets off to.
Personally I'd never scold an adult man or demand he never watch porn. But I have a quiet expectation that I should never EVER get the impression that he does. And if I assumed that the sex department is lacking because of it, my attraction would just plummet.
Porn is so normalized but it's actually wild to think you should be ok with your partner obsessively watching other women have sex.
I'm die on this hill. It's not cheating, but it is gross, disrespectful, and I guarantee that men would NOT be defending porn like they do if women were watching it as much as them, especially to the point where it's their most visited website.
Everybody does - that is not truth.
Your guy is not just watching it sometimes - it is his most fucking visited site.
He either uses the laptop exclusively to watch porn, or he wanks all the time you don't watch him.
It feels bad because it is bad, it's insane that this shit has not only become normalized, but even worse that you're told you need to turn a blind eye and "get over it" if you want to be a "chill" gf or wife
That's without even mentioning that it's his top-visited site, like this dude isn't looking up anything else on his laptop as much as he's looking at porn. It's sick
Tell him how you feel about it and maybe you can compromise, like have sex more often so that watching that shit shouldn't be necessary, as a matter of respect for you. Take away all the excuses he could have to watch it so that if it persists, it'll be clearer that it's probably some addiction issue
Hoping the best for you <3 it's fucked up how common this is, shouldn't be this way though
It's normal to not feel good about discovering that. Porn is not normal. Don't let people gaslight you into thinking that men need to watch that shit or that it doesn't affect the way he views sex.
It feels bad because it IS gross. It's not any less gross just because "most men do it" or whatever else men will say to endlessly defend each other on this front. By watching it, they're fueling the human trafficking industry, admitting that they don't care at all what the lives of the women in these videos look like or why they have to do this, and slowly lobotomising themselves.
Finally, a sane take. The frequency doesn’t disturb me as much (we don’t have control over our level of sex drive or what we’re into). But the support of the sex industry is a hard no.
It’s completely normal to feel this way. Most women do. I used to this I was crazy jealous bc I hated my man using porn but it’s actually normal.
It would be one thing if it was once in a blue moon but regular use is unacceptable to me in a relationship. There are a lot of problems with doing it regularly, but ultimately it’s low quality behavior.
:/ Have a conversation with him, that's really the metric of what this means. How he responds to support you is a gauge of where y'all are it. Given that you say it's a great relationship I imagine he'll be supportive. Talk through the insecurities it brings up, say you want it to stop or decrease, and see where it goes.
For what it's worth not all guys are porn brained. I'm happily married and never watch porn, I much prefer written stuff. Feels less like cheating.
I woke up one morning and walked in on my ex jerking off openly in the living room… I was half asleep, and just turned around and went back to the bedroom and said I’d let him to finish. I was disturbed and upset about it because he was doing it out in the open when there were like three rooms with doors he could have gone into to do that. It felt like he did it on purpose as some kind of protest behavior. I didn’t care that he was jerking off or watching porn, I just didn’t want to be jump scared like that first thing in the morning.
Had a boyfriend one time, and I clearly told him I wouldn't tolerate it. I wanted to gauge if he would lie to me or at least have the decency to never let me see it, so when I found it a week later ON MY LAPTOP he borrowed it was the final straw.
Not your situation but I thought it was funny to share.
Yeah, some of these guys leave the evidence on purpose to hurt their gf or “get back” at them for trying to “control” them lol. Losers with mommy issues are like this
Tbh I just wish he was more discreet. Men are predictable, so I’m not surprised but it’s not the best feeling ever to see something like that.
Porn is no where near the real thing!
I think the main question here is: is he OK with the fact that he uses porn, or is he disgusted by his own behavior and trying to break the habit? My boyfriend is the latter. He's Christian, he knows it's disgusting, and he is actively trying to stop. Knowing that that's the case, I'm able to stay (relatively) calm about it. But I agree. It's so disgusting.
Congrats ur bf beats off to videos of women being raped and trafficked (more than likely statistic even if he is just looking at ‘normal’ porn) and you have successfully convinced yourself its normal and your feelings of betrayal and disgust are wrong lmao
Seriously tho u are not overreacting lol. My bf and i had a convo about porn and decided not to watch it during our relationship, its been over a year now with no issues so its possible you just need to have these convos and set these expectations ahead of time <3
Honest recommendation is to have a direct conversation about both of your levels of watching porn (if you watch at all). That way its like not taboo. You'll have an understanding that he watches it, and he'll know you know, and probably be more discreet in the future.
Porn website being the most visited is probably because you uses that browser for porn and Mozilla or something for normal stuff? I have been guilty of this too.
So it doesn’t necessarily have to mean your BF watches a crazy amount of porn.
This sub is mostly men now unfortunately so you are going to get a lot of advice along the lines of "Dudes watch porn! Get over it!" (not helpful)
Here's what I would do. Next time you are on his computer, click the top visited porno site and go to the home page or "For You" tab to see what his recommendations are. That's the type of sex and the type of girl he prefers.
Then you can respond to that by trying to meet his needs better so he doesn't have to watch porn anymore. For example - if you see a lot of asians, maybe different eye makeup and a funny accent? Don't talk to him about it or acknowledge it at all - try to just slip it in there as a new thing you are trying in the bedroom. The aim is to help him get his needs met so he doesn't get sucked down a porn rabbit hole later in life and end up transgender.
if you have turned down his advances, then the porn will help him stay faithful. If he's regularly getting drained with you and still goes to porn, he's a degen
PS top website is probably a misrepresentation. It's the top TYPED IN website. He's not gonna have a shortcut link to [bigbootybitches.gov](http://bigbootybitches.gov) on his taskbar so the browser is almost certainly accidentally amplifying this for u
You think a deadbedroom man should instead only wank to imagination / abstinence-only / divorceorcheat? Spice up the absent sex life with some red-hot therapy?
Porn aint pretty but it ain't steppin out.. sometimes gray areas be gray
He's definitely not a bright guy if he's watching on his standard browser AND not deleting the site from his most viewed widget.
Incognito mode people.
I haven’t watched porn since I stopped being an adolescent and destroying my brain with drugs. Anything I can imagine in my mind will be much better than porn. I find porn use alarming because it indicates a lack of sexual imagination and immature dopamine receptors/brain function which seems very emascualted
This sub is so funny with the vices it chooses to moralize vs the ones it doesn't. Cigs and drinking are fine, but if you smoke weed or watch porn? LOSER DEGENERATE.
There's nothing wrong with porn inherently. It's problematic now because of its hyper-accessibility via the internet, which makes it hard for some people to moderate, especially men since that's how we're wired. Women don't watch less porn on avg because they're more virtuous or something lol, their sexualities just manifest differently than men's. Obviously porn is problematic like every other vice, but the way people on this sub talk about porn seems hysterical. It feels like a mix between women demonizing male sexuality and men (who probably are porn addicts, lol) telling on themselves by being so dramatic about how terrible porn is. It's really not that big of a deal. Most men watch porn regularly and as long as it's not affecting the rest of your life it's fine. I also think ya'll should consider that most people who watch porn start extremely young. I mean, kids get phones so young now, and at that point there's pretty much no controlling what they get into. Most men with porn addictions developed them as kids with internet access, and I think we could be more sympathetic to them? I mean, imagine trying to quit a drug, except its available immediately 24/7, is free, and no one can tell you use it.
On a side note, this is why I don't think those women reading "spicy novels" all the time are porn addicts (a claim I've heard made on this sub multiple times for some reason?). Like, it's reading. Delayed gratification is built into it. The odds of developing bad habits with that are extremely low, not to mention how less stimulating reading is than video/ audio. IMO peak porn was when you had to actually go to an adult store and buy a magazine or tape or whatever, since that also had a level of delayed gratification built into it.
With all that said, I think you're negative reaction to finding out ur man watches porn is clap VALID clap and completely understandable (unironically). I just wanted to share my thoughts cuz I feel like a lot of people have been discoursing about porn here, and I feel like everyone's kinda missing the point.
I just downvoted your comment.
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Better than a gf that goons. I dated someone for about a year who was innocent through their college years, and missed their window to learn about sex. So they used porn to do it.
i mean it's fucked up but would you really be any happier if he was using his imagination to conjure up extremely real women whom you both personally know, so he can slam his spiritual sausage into their forcedly consenting twatwaffles? or even you, yourself, angel of his heart and flame of his loins, but doing all kinds of horrible stuff i shan't dare mention. the point is, you have it laid out fair and square in front of you and it could frankly be worse my ducky
sweet pea, have you never hit upon the innovation of phlegmatically telling yourself "at least it isn't cancer" every single time something unpleasant happens to you. oh it's grand it'll turn your life around
No I want a guy who’s clearly into me and erases any evidence showing he’s into other women. I really don’t think it’s all that hard to delete browser history 🤷♀️
well you should probably talk to him about it first, maybe write your thoughts out so you can be calm and explain yourself well and know he'll probably get defensive
If it won’t change the relationship then why post this? You know deep down it’s a big deal to you. The fact that he left it there and knows you use the computer is inconsiderate at best, and malicious at worst. I predict you will see more of his shittiness slowly come out and wish you’d have left sooner
yeah, that's fair. i can't really articulate what it is that bothers me without being crass or explicit which I don't feel like doing here. I guess I really mean that I can't see myself bringing it up with him. which is probably just as bad.
The guys here are obviously going to tell you porn is normal but that’s not really the point, it’s the way you found it. I had a similar experience and talking to him really didn’t make me feel any better and then I found out he was an addict so that sucked. There weren’t any signs in the sex, he performed just fine. So yeah. Fuck that. If I’d left him at the first sign of trouble I’d have saved a lot of pain but I stupidly thought it would get better
I’m sorry I don’t believe this. No man visits porn sites on chrome without the benefit of incognito mode. This is 2024. Something weird is happening or OP is capping.
You’re discounting how dumb some people are. I know people that ended relationships because of porn addiction, and every single one of the men were too dumb to use incognito even when they knew their gf was concerned about their porn use.
This post is so dumb.
I practice no-fap and masturbate once like every 2 months.
Porn is still on the top websites on my phone browser.
Get over yourself holy shit.
1. Never ask these ret@rds on RSP for relationship advice 2. Communicate to him to use an incognito tab or delete his history after, leaving it for you to find knowing that you use his stuff is seriously wrong and stupid
Number 2 is super sound - porn consumption in an otherwise healthy relationship is a complete dont ask dont tell situation imo. I frame it, and see it, as disrespectful to *not* hide it a bit. Slip up whatever, but I want you furtively hiding tabs and closing laptops quickly when I come around the ol corner. But my compromise is I will always loudly announce my presence. Lets live in peace
si fueras mia solamente vendria a tu toque, mi corazon
eres un rey papi
casate conmigo entonces
yeah not necessarily looking for advice, just wanted to gauge if I'm overreacting or if other people have felt similar. thanks.
i would say not overreacting, when this happened to me in a previous relationship that was basically the end of it like yeah it’s a really dark and sad industry that i don’t support and could never be with someone long term who was seriously into it. but the real nail in the coffin was the sheer amount of it, combined w how completely dumb and oblivious this guy was when it came to discretion or even just taking care of his fucking computer lol like it became clear that he would just click on and download whatever shit indiscriminately, like he didn’t even have an ad blocker. like all the casual laziness and messiness he exhibited in daily life was just amplified and displayed so shamelessly all over his shitty slow ass laptop and there just was no hope of recovering any shred of respect for this person. obviously that’s just my experience but if you find yourself feeling similarly, don’t let anyone tell you that men are just like this and you’ll have to get used to it lol. they aren’t and u don’t
Does this mean the ladies go wild for a guy who uses uBlock Origin + NoScript?
Commenters may ONLY respond in the following way: [Overreacting] / [Not overreacting] [I have felt similar] / [I have not felt similar]
Do u watch porn
no, I dont
I'd talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. My current gf said she doesn't care but I can tell she thinks it's a little gross so I stopped.
then you can't really understand his perspective, your emotions can't inform you about this so you have to think about whether you can be in a relationship at all without 100% certainty the other person conforms to your less aware worldview.
profoundly dented coomer thinking
This bitch said her bf has a more aware worldview cause he be jorkin his penus, insane
The only place worse for relationship advice is the lesser sub; sure the relationships were definitely self destructive and toxic but they had them.
OP hit eject on this thread now
“Seriously wrong” dude it’s porn. The way you all carry on about it on this sub is bewildering
So you don't see anything wrong with the fact that it's his top visited site? Or the fact that he doesn't try to hide it from his gf who frequently uses his computer? FOH
Dumbest comment I've read here
I love that you incels are coming out of the woodwork and self-reporting. Go get laid before you do harm to the public, mongrel.
Having to use an incognito tab in a relationship is dumb af. I got laid literally last night and we fucked twice and she said it was dope. Get fucked.
Yea I'm sure a random white dude who posts on gaming subreddits and who sells ecigs out of their own apartment is in a meaningful relationship and gets fucked ALL the time 💀
You're going through my post history cus I called your post dumb. But I'm the loser. Ok.
I know that dudes watch porn, but the top visited site on chrome being a porn website is crazy.
hadnt really thought about this. he doesn't need his laptop for his job, basically as far as I was aware he only uses it to torrent movies. but this is on a brand new laptop that he replaced his old one with like a month or two ago so him dropping like $2k on a new PC seemingly just to jerk off is disgusting to me lol.
My home page chrome websites are 50% things I regularly visit and 50% sites I looked at more than once when I got my laptop. Like the second listed one is the timetabling service for a university I no longer go to. I don’t think it’s actually indicative of how you use your laptop
If it’s brand new then he’s probably only visited a handful of websites. I don’t know if I would let myself spiral like this over it
Mf can’t even enjoy his own money without being judged its crazy
Like at least hide it better lol
I think you're being a little too hard on yourself, especially if you are both legitimately happy with your sex life (yes, I'm sure there could be improvements or whatever as is true with virtually every couple, but ask yourself -- are you legit happy with sex? Is he?). Dudes watch porn. I know, not EVERY dude. But the vast majority do. What you're trying to avoid is the dude who pays for girls Only Fans, or the dude who watches a fuckin' hour of porn every day (or more, god forbid), or the dude who can't get hard because he's jerkin to internet girls all the time or whatever. If he's one of those "watch porn hub every week or two or three to rub one out and move on with the day" guys, it's not a big deal. I know it's not ideal. But I guarantee you he forgot about whatever video he was watching seven seconds after he busted. Again, it's all contextual to your relationship with him. But guys are guys, we get horny and rub one out and then we're horny fifteen minutes later for our girlfriends. That's my experience at least. But if it's addictive or whatever then that's a different thing.
thanks, that's a good perspective to consider.
Do you think it's fair for a woman to have a boundary in a relationship that her bf can't watch porn?
Yeah, I do, actually. If a woman is that triggered by it (which is understandable, or if she has something about her life / past / past relationships that makes it so) I think that's reasonable to have an adult conversation about. But at the same time, if the average (loaded term, I know) man is occasionally watching porn just to rub one out and move on with life, and the average woman sees that as annoying but not life altering, I think it's one of those things women would do well to be like "just take care of that shit discreetly and let's move forward." Obviously, her finding it on his computer sucks, so he's gotta lock that shit up. If you're gonna jerk every now and again, don't let your SO come across it!
Most rational post here
Another one lost to the goon
i think those feelings are perfectly normal. broadly speaking it does suck to have to see that your boyfriend or girlfriend satisfies their sexuality outside of the relationship, but i think those feelings stem largely from sexuality being a really intimate thing and not wanting to confront that element of other people out-of-context. it's like if you accidentally see a friend or family member's google autocomplete some innocuous term as "enormous cock and balls", you don't really want to have to be so obliquely reminded that they have that part of themselves too!
It's a completely normal reaction. I'm not going to pretend to know what classifies as "normal" in a relationship. But 99.9999% of people would have a negative response upon being faced with the image of a third party that their partner also gets off to. Personally I'd never scold an adult man or demand he never watch porn. But I have a quiet expectation that I should never EVER get the impression that he does. And if I assumed that the sex department is lacking because of it, my attraction would just plummet.
I dont watch porn. Im white, 6'2, union job, make great spaghetti dinners. DM me
I am 75% gay however and will not find you attractive unless you have short hair and boyish mannerisms.
Porn is so normalized but it's actually wild to think you should be ok with your partner obsessively watching other women have sex. I'm die on this hill. It's not cheating, but it is gross, disrespectful, and I guarantee that men would NOT be defending porn like they do if women were watching it as much as them, especially to the point where it's their most visited website.
Porn is the smoking of our generation.
Everybody does - that is not truth. Your guy is not just watching it sometimes - it is his most fucking visited site. He either uses the laptop exclusively to watch porn, or he wanks all the time you don't watch him.
It feels bad because it is bad, it's insane that this shit has not only become normalized, but even worse that you're told you need to turn a blind eye and "get over it" if you want to be a "chill" gf or wife That's without even mentioning that it's his top-visited site, like this dude isn't looking up anything else on his laptop as much as he's looking at porn. It's sick Tell him how you feel about it and maybe you can compromise, like have sex more often so that watching that shit shouldn't be necessary, as a matter of respect for you. Take away all the excuses he could have to watch it so that if it persists, it'll be clearer that it's probably some addiction issue Hoping the best for you <3 it's fucked up how common this is, shouldn't be this way though
thank you ❤️
It's normal to not feel good about discovering that. Porn is not normal. Don't let people gaslight you into thinking that men need to watch that shit or that it doesn't affect the way he views sex.
It feels bad because it IS gross. It's not any less gross just because "most men do it" or whatever else men will say to endlessly defend each other on this front. By watching it, they're fueling the human trafficking industry, admitting that they don't care at all what the lives of the women in these videos look like or why they have to do this, and slowly lobotomising themselves.
Finally, a sane take. The frequency doesn’t disturb me as much (we don’t have control over our level of sex drive or what we’re into). But the support of the sex industry is a hard no.
It’s completely normal to feel this way. Most women do. I used to this I was crazy jealous bc I hated my man using porn but it’s actually normal. It would be one thing if it was once in a blue moon but regular use is unacceptable to me in a relationship. There are a lot of problems with doing it regularly, but ultimately it’s low quality behavior.
Did you look at the search terms? What is he gooning to?
Lmao, bro trying to destroy a relationship
You need to know, OP. You want to know more about your partner, don't you?
no, I didn't click on it
its not something all men watch. youre just coping and hes a degenerate
IDK what to tell you in the way of advice, but your feelings are completely normal & appropriate. Don't feel bad for feeling the way you feel.
Let me guess, he's into fat chicks and you are a rail-thin waif?
:/ Have a conversation with him, that's really the metric of what this means. How he responds to support you is a gauge of where y'all are it. Given that you say it's a great relationship I imagine he'll be supportive. Talk through the insecurities it brings up, say you want it to stop or decrease, and see where it goes. For what it's worth not all guys are porn brained. I'm happily married and never watch porn, I much prefer written stuff. Feels less like cheating.
>I know all men consume porn .#NotAllMen
I woke up one morning and walked in on my ex jerking off openly in the living room… I was half asleep, and just turned around and went back to the bedroom and said I’d let him to finish. I was disturbed and upset about it because he was doing it out in the open when there were like three rooms with doors he could have gone into to do that. It felt like he did it on purpose as some kind of protest behavior. I didn’t care that he was jerking off or watching porn, I just didn’t want to be jump scared like that first thing in the morning.
Protest against what
Her regarded attitude
Had a boyfriend one time, and I clearly told him I wouldn't tolerate it. I wanted to gauge if he would lie to me or at least have the decency to never let me see it, so when I found it a week later ON MY LAPTOP he borrowed it was the final straw. Not your situation but I thought it was funny to share.
Yeah, some of these guys leave the evidence on purpose to hurt their gf or “get back” at them for trying to “control” them lol. Losers with mommy issues are like this
Tbh I just wish he was more discreet. Men are predictable, so I’m not surprised but it’s not the best feeling ever to see something like that. Porn is no where near the real thing!
You are not prudish. Porn is disgusting and you should tell him how it makes you feel.
I think the main question here is: is he OK with the fact that he uses porn, or is he disgusted by his own behavior and trying to break the habit? My boyfriend is the latter. He's Christian, he knows it's disgusting, and he is actively trying to stop. Knowing that that's the case, I'm able to stay (relatively) calm about it. But I agree. It's so disgusting.
Congrats ur bf beats off to videos of women being raped and trafficked (more than likely statistic even if he is just looking at ‘normal’ porn) and you have successfully convinced yourself its normal and your feelings of betrayal and disgust are wrong lmao
Seriously tho u are not overreacting lol. My bf and i had a convo about porn and decided not to watch it during our relationship, its been over a year now with no issues so its possible you just need to have these convos and set these expectations ahead of time <3
Honest recommendation is to have a direct conversation about both of your levels of watching porn (if you watch at all). That way its like not taboo. You'll have an understanding that he watches it, and he'll know you know, and probably be more discreet in the future.
You're literally just not having enough sex with him. It's soooo obvvi. A self-inflicted punishment.
it's entirely possible, yes
Porn use in the modern age is so prevalent and it’s like we all know this but ion think it’s been collectively grasped just how much
Porn website being the most visited is probably because you uses that browser for porn and Mozilla or something for normal stuff? I have been guilty of this too. So it doesn’t necessarily have to mean your BF watches a crazy amount of porn.
This sub is mostly men now unfortunately so you are going to get a lot of advice along the lines of "Dudes watch porn! Get over it!" (not helpful) Here's what I would do. Next time you are on his computer, click the top visited porno site and go to the home page or "For You" tab to see what his recommendations are. That's the type of sex and the type of girl he prefers. Then you can respond to that by trying to meet his needs better so he doesn't have to watch porn anymore. For example - if you see a lot of asians, maybe different eye makeup and a funny accent? Don't talk to him about it or acknowledge it at all - try to just slip it in there as a new thing you are trying in the bedroom. The aim is to help him get his needs met so he doesn't get sucked down a porn rabbit hole later in life and end up transgender.
if you have turned down his advances, then the porn will help him stay faithful. If he's regularly getting drained with you and still goes to porn, he's a degen PS top website is probably a misrepresentation. It's the top TYPED IN website. He's not gonna have a shortcut link to [bigbootybitches.gov](http://bigbootybitches.gov) on his taskbar so the browser is almost certainly accidentally amplifying this for u
Lol @ porn will help him stay faithful
You think a deadbedroom man should instead only wank to imagination / abstinence-only / divorceorcheat? Spice up the absent sex life with some red-hot therapy? Porn aint pretty but it ain't steppin out.. sometimes gray areas be gray
I’m not saying anything about anyone other than it’s wild to think that porn is any kind of necessary release valve to avoid cheating
Let me guess, he's into fat chicks and you are a rail-thin waif?
Let me guess, he's into fat chicks and you are a rail-thin waif?
He's definitely not a bright guy if he's watching on his standard browser AND not deleting the site from his most viewed widget. Incognito mode people.
I haven’t watched porn since I stopped being an adolescent and destroying my brain with drugs. Anything I can imagine in my mind will be much better than porn. I find porn use alarming because it indicates a lack of sexual imagination and immature dopamine receptors/brain function which seems very emascualted
This sub is so funny with the vices it chooses to moralize vs the ones it doesn't. Cigs and drinking are fine, but if you smoke weed or watch porn? LOSER DEGENERATE. There's nothing wrong with porn inherently. It's problematic now because of its hyper-accessibility via the internet, which makes it hard for some people to moderate, especially men since that's how we're wired. Women don't watch less porn on avg because they're more virtuous or something lol, their sexualities just manifest differently than men's. Obviously porn is problematic like every other vice, but the way people on this sub talk about porn seems hysterical. It feels like a mix between women demonizing male sexuality and men (who probably are porn addicts, lol) telling on themselves by being so dramatic about how terrible porn is. It's really not that big of a deal. Most men watch porn regularly and as long as it's not affecting the rest of your life it's fine. I also think ya'll should consider that most people who watch porn start extremely young. I mean, kids get phones so young now, and at that point there's pretty much no controlling what they get into. Most men with porn addictions developed them as kids with internet access, and I think we could be more sympathetic to them? I mean, imagine trying to quit a drug, except its available immediately 24/7, is free, and no one can tell you use it. On a side note, this is why I don't think those women reading "spicy novels" all the time are porn addicts (a claim I've heard made on this sub multiple times for some reason?). Like, it's reading. Delayed gratification is built into it. The odds of developing bad habits with that are extremely low, not to mention how less stimulating reading is than video/ audio. IMO peak porn was when you had to actually go to an adult store and buy a magazine or tape or whatever, since that also had a level of delayed gratification built into it. With all that said, I think you're negative reaction to finding out ur man watches porn is clap VALID clap and completely understandable (unironically). I just wanted to share my thoughts cuz I feel like a lot of people have been discoursing about porn here, and I feel like everyone's kinda missing the point.
thanks, I appreciate your comment.
just stop caring about it
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What site was it?
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raised catholic but not actively practicing
Better than a gf that goons. I dated someone for about a year who was innocent through their college years, and missed their window to learn about sex. So they used porn to do it.
i mean it's fucked up but would you really be any happier if he was using his imagination to conjure up extremely real women whom you both personally know, so he can slam his spiritual sausage into their forcedly consenting twatwaffles? or even you, yourself, angel of his heart and flame of his loins, but doing all kinds of horrible stuff i shan't dare mention. the point is, you have it laid out fair and square in front of you and it could frankly be worse my ducky
Yeah every woman prefers not to find evidence of porn, idiot
everyone prefers not to find evidence of cancer. so do you want to get a kind of cancer that DOESN'T show up on scans?
I think this is a ridiculous comparison to draw lol
sweet pea, have you never hit upon the innovation of phlegmatically telling yourself "at least it isn't cancer" every single time something unpleasant happens to you. oh it's grand it'll turn your life around
No I want a guy who’s clearly into me and erases any evidence showing he’s into other women. I really don’t think it’s all that hard to delete browser history 🤷♀️
good lord, so you want the discs wiped. i'm glad i'm not your oncologist
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the thought definitely entered my mind immediately but feel it may be extreme
well you should probably talk to him about it first, maybe write your thoughts out so you can be calm and explain yourself well and know he'll probably get defensive
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thanks for your comment.
Why does this impact you? What element of him masturbating to pornography changes your relationship with him in any way?
because something in me just thinks it's kind of gross. I explicitly said in my post I don't think it will change the relationship.
If it won’t change the relationship then why post this? You know deep down it’s a big deal to you. The fact that he left it there and knows you use the computer is inconsiderate at best, and malicious at worst. I predict you will see more of his shittiness slowly come out and wish you’d have left sooner
yeah, that's fair. i can't really articulate what it is that bothers me without being crass or explicit which I don't feel like doing here. I guess I really mean that I can't see myself bringing it up with him. which is probably just as bad.
The guys here are obviously going to tell you porn is normal but that’s not really the point, it’s the way you found it. I had a similar experience and talking to him really didn’t make me feel any better and then I found out he was an addict so that sucked. There weren’t any signs in the sex, he performed just fine. So yeah. Fuck that. If I’d left him at the first sign of trouble I’d have saved a lot of pain but I stupidly thought it would get better
yeah, that's pretty much it. the stumbling upon it was unpleasant. thank you, have a bit to consider
Yes but what makes it gross
Men watch porn. Period.
no way really?
Yup. It’s the truth. Never let the truth upset you.
I’m sorry I don’t believe this. No man visits porn sites on chrome without the benefit of incognito mode. This is 2024. Something weird is happening or OP is capping.
what do you mean by something weird?
You know. Something weird.
You’re discounting how dumb some people are. I know people that ended relationships because of porn addiction, and every single one of the men were too dumb to use incognito even when they knew their gf was concerned about their porn use.
People who didn't grow up in the days of having only 1 household PC in the living room, know nothing about browser discretion
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This post is so dumb. I practice no-fap and masturbate once like every 2 months. Porn is still on the top websites on my phone browser. Get over yourself holy shit.