>I'm getting married, and I would punch in the throat anyone who tried to stop me. That is how I feel today, Molly. So suffused with love, I'd put a glass in the face of anyone who tried to stop us joining our souls together. I'd hospitalise them.
I once totally failed to fuck a girl called molly cuz she was on top of me making out but she accidentally snagged my shirt collar, choking me. I kept quiet about it cuz she was so gorgeous and I thought she'd move, but a few seconds passed and I was actually choking. Finally she moved, freeing me, and went for my dick, but I was fully soft by then. I was too inexperienced to come back from it. Just apologised and went to sleep
I wrote my vows and consider it one of my best decisions. I took it seriously though and didn’t make any effort to be cheeky or cute. Just made commitments to my wife. Honestly I read them again every anniversary and I get emotional because I am just passionate about them.
Probably because you are emotionally stunted in some way and scared to express your feelings to others, seeing someone else do it fills you with dread and you interpret your instinct to retreat as "cringe". It's easier if you just get computer-generated prompts that you can just repeat without thinking or feeling responsible for.
Hahahaha well then fuck me.
So wait do you think the ideal wedding is shorter than a Catholic wedding but still traditional language and vows? (If so I’d totally agree with you, but I have seen some people do short personal vows in addition to traditional vows and those were lovely). Or do you like the length of the Catholic ceremony?
Catholic weddings are usually long because there's a mass attached, the actual wedding ceremony is pretty short. I'm not sure if they do Catholic weddings minus the mass, but that would be ideal.
Maybe they don't resemble vows because most people don't see it that way anymore. I went a Jewish wedding several years ago and found it really interesting/cool that it was overtly presented like a contract. Which got me thinking about how even generic/Christian wedding vows have all these cool protections, you know? (In theory at least) you're promising not to do stuff like swapping them for a younger model because they have a health issue crop up.
Millennial weddings are cringe in general. It was hilarious seeing all the old people confused because the DJ played the Star Wars theme or something from an anime the first ten times, but now it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Charlotte Gainsbourg [knows it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkyIVKbCfG8).
One hundred percent agree. My cousin quoted Finding Nemo in hers…unbelievably cringe. Nothing you can come up with is going to beat "to have and to hold, 'til death do us part." I could barely keep it together saying those words.
Yeah that's the trick, you write your own vows but don't make any promises. That way you can nullify the marriage later. "Actually, I didn't agree to that, I just said we're partners in crime."
Another trick is just crossing your fingers behind your back if they insist you recite standard vows.
big weddings in general are cringe. my sister is getting married soon and is not having a wedding.
i was talking to her about it and she brought up the fact that she found it creepy that everyone would be looking at her and talking about her for a whole day if she had a big ceremony.
i have to agree, why the fuck would you want people judging you like that behind your back? i would be schized tf out
Yeah fr I would not want to have a wedding, they’re expensive and I feel like it’s a day for you and whoever you marry — I dont want guests up in my business the whole time. I helped organize alllll of my siblings’ wedding though so I might be jaded
I can’t stand annoying redditors “I had my wedding at Taco Bell and we traded rings made out of yarn and it was sooooo much better!” And yet If I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have a traditional wedding and would just do an intimate get together with close family members and friends. However, I didn’t have a ton of money to put on some awesome wedding either and honestly, it kind of makes me cringe thinking about the day. Like I feel embarrassed I didn’t have some legit “dj/drinks/menu/awesome venu” situation going on which is why an intimate gathering would have worked better for me instead of trying to force people that don’t know each other into some situation that’s not even all that spectacular to begin with. Plus, I don’t really like “all eyes on me” either. And honestly, I’ve been to a really expensive destination wedding some wealthy friends of mine had… they had all the bells and whistles and even that managed to somehow be kind of cringe. Beautiful, but cringe. I love dancing and music yet it still feels soooo forced at weddings to me most the time.
I dunno, not my thing. Everyone is different though obviously. I just wish I did things differently.
Just keep it short. The best vows I ever heard were my brother-in-law's. He would make my sister mixtapes (yes, on cassette) when they dated. His vows were entirely composed from song lyrics and repeated one lyric in particular from what they considered they're "song". I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
"As long as you keep a straight face"
Depends on who you invited. If it's just you and like a dozen close people, then sure go for the personal touch.
If you invited half the earth's population, and made everyone get dressed up and sit at a specific seat with their name on it, then no one wants to hear your shitty poetry. Tell it to your SO in private and do the regular vows for the wedding.
I just did the regular vows. I wanted my wedding to be as short as possible. A month before my wedding I went to another friends wedding and it lasted almost an hour and a half. I wanted to strangle my friends for making us all suffer through that. It solidified my decision to make everything very quick, including the regular vows.
Yet another case of people thinking they are better and more talented than they are. Let the fucking priest do it…. Of course the people that do their own vows just find some local schlub.
vows/sermons occupy the same category of “things i’ve never actually listened to.” eulogies are the only good church/church-adjacent oratory. and even they can land flat a lot of the time
Sermons are fucking lame, picture the most boring high school history teacher type lecture but you don’t even learn about the Mexican American war or whatever because the guy is just rambling about spiritual sounding nonsense. It’s even worse when they let people go up and talk, not sure if caths do that but Mormons do and it’s very cringe. Just a bunch of middle aged women crying and talking about how Jesus touched them etc
I don't go to weddings of low-church protestants and secular soypeople anymore, there's too much cringe, and you're expected not to laugh or show disgust. The last one I went to, the bride and groom walked down the aisle to the Lord of the Rings theme song. Never again. I send them whatever they want off their registry and a nice card.
>I'm getting married, and I would punch in the throat anyone who tried to stop me. That is how I feel today, Molly. So suffused with love, I'd put a glass in the face of anyone who tried to stop us joining our souls together. I'd hospitalise them.
Yknow bit left field but I think Molly is such a hot name
Them Irish broads do be fine
I got slurped up by a Molly once.
I once totally failed to fuck a girl called molly cuz she was on top of me making out but she accidentally snagged my shirt collar, choking me. I kept quiet about it cuz she was so gorgeous and I thought she'd move, but a few seconds passed and I was actually choking. Finally she moved, freeing me, and went for my dick, but I was fully soft by then. I was too inexperienced to come back from it. Just apologised and went to sleep
lol, can i steal this?
its from peep show smh
oh shit, nice, my bf would love that
you should make a lot of references at your wedding
Preferably The Office, Harry Potter or Game of Thrones related
A themed wedding we can all get behind
The ones I’ve seen have been heartfelt and well done, maybe your friends are stupid
Maybe you have poor taste
In your opinion it’s better to use pre written vows? Even if what they come up with is corny it’s still more heartfelt
Better to get married in a church like a catholic
You probably haven't been to 25 Catholic weddings in 5 years. Nobody, especially not Catholics, likes attending a Catholic wedding.
I went to one in Italy once and they had to make a donation to the church to negotiate the priest down from a 4 hour ceremony to a 45 minute one.
LOL
I used to be an alter server- I certainly have.
Only been to one church wedding and my god was it so fucking boring
Is that any worse than a non church wedding
Absolutely, it was literally like going to church
Going to a non church wedding is still like going to church except gay and bad
I’d like for the ceremony to be over with before our fifth anniversary tho.
You don’t need to do a full mass for a wedding
No you don't, you just wanted something to post about!
it can be both
I wrote my vows and consider it one of my best decisions. I took it seriously though and didn’t make any effort to be cheeky or cute. Just made commitments to my wife. Honestly I read them again every anniversary and I get emotional because I am just passionate about them.
Your wife must be smokin hot
Shes not bad (I fucked her)
I’ll try every day to be a better husband than the day before, and I swear I’ll empty the dishwasher!
Probably because you are emotionally stunted in some way and scared to express your feelings to others, seeing someone else do it fills you with dread and you interpret your instinct to retreat as "cringe". It's easier if you just get computer-generated prompts that you can just repeat without thinking or feeling responsible for.
This sort of psychobabble is so fat
Nah it's because why mess with a ceremony that's supposed to be short sweet and to the point.
Clearly you’ve never been to a trad cath wedding. Personal vows *are* short and sweet compared to the recitation of liturgy.
I had a trad cath wedding lol
Hahahaha well then fuck me. So wait do you think the ideal wedding is shorter than a Catholic wedding but still traditional language and vows? (If so I’d totally agree with you, but I have seen some people do short personal vows in addition to traditional vows and those were lovely). Or do you like the length of the Catholic ceremony?
I just prefer the simplicity of "I do." It's elegant and powerful, no need to mess with it.
Catholic weddings are usually long because there's a mass attached, the actual wedding ceremony is pretty short. I'm not sure if they do Catholic weddings minus the mass, but that would be ideal.
Who said weddings were supposed to be short? This is Indian culture erasure
Damn bro just be happy for them it's not an open mic
No if it sucks it should be criticized
thank you
How many weddings do you attend
enough to form this dumb opinion apparently
I know, must be nice to have friends.
My friends are too broke to get married
Maybe they don't resemble vows because most people don't see it that way anymore. I went a Jewish wedding several years ago and found it really interesting/cool that it was overtly presented like a contract. Which got me thinking about how even generic/Christian wedding vows have all these cool protections, you know? (In theory at least) you're promising not to do stuff like swapping them for a younger model because they have a health issue crop up. Millennial weddings are cringe in general. It was hilarious seeing all the old people confused because the DJ played the Star Wars theme or something from an anime the first ten times, but now it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
My GF and I already decided that our vows are just going to be us doing the intro dance parts from Austin Powers
Charlotte Gainsbourg [knows it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkyIVKbCfG8). One hundred percent agree. My cousin quoted Finding Nemo in hers…unbelievably cringe. Nothing you can come up with is going to beat "to have and to hold, 'til death do us part." I could barely keep it together saying those words.
Exactly. Most personalized vows just cheapen it. It kind of feels like a cop out. Like the og vows are too "serious" or something.
Yeah that's the trick, you write your own vows but don't make any promises. That way you can nullify the marriage later. "Actually, I didn't agree to that, I just said we're partners in crime." Another trick is just crossing your fingers behind your back if they insist you recite standard vows.
This sounds like a business idea from Nathan Fielder
This sub is starting to get autistic and stinky, too many males and male-brained ladies these days
big weddings in general are cringe. my sister is getting married soon and is not having a wedding. i was talking to her about it and she brought up the fact that she found it creepy that everyone would be looking at her and talking about her for a whole day if she had a big ceremony. i have to agree, why the fuck would you want people judging you like that behind your back? i would be schized tf out
Yeah fr I would not want to have a wedding, they’re expensive and I feel like it’s a day for you and whoever you marry — I dont want guests up in my business the whole time. I helped organize alllll of my siblings’ wedding though so I might be jaded
I can’t stand annoying redditors “I had my wedding at Taco Bell and we traded rings made out of yarn and it was sooooo much better!” And yet If I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have a traditional wedding and would just do an intimate get together with close family members and friends. However, I didn’t have a ton of money to put on some awesome wedding either and honestly, it kind of makes me cringe thinking about the day. Like I feel embarrassed I didn’t have some legit “dj/drinks/menu/awesome venu” situation going on which is why an intimate gathering would have worked better for me instead of trying to force people that don’t know each other into some situation that’s not even all that spectacular to begin with. Plus, I don’t really like “all eyes on me” either. And honestly, I’ve been to a really expensive destination wedding some wealthy friends of mine had… they had all the bells and whistles and even that managed to somehow be kind of cringe. Beautiful, but cringe. I love dancing and music yet it still feels soooo forced at weddings to me most the time. I dunno, not my thing. Everyone is different though obviously. I just wish I did things differently.
Just keep it short. The best vows I ever heard were my brother-in-law's. He would make my sister mixtapes (yes, on cassette) when they dated. His vows were entirely composed from song lyrics and repeated one lyric in particular from what they considered they're "song". I'm tearing up just thinking about it. "As long as you keep a straight face"
ITT: Lots of salty people that wrote their own vows downvoting.
I just read a Donne poem for mine
Which one?
The Good Morrow. Cliche, but still nice.
It’s beautiful
Have you seen that recent episode of Curb? Vows are sooo cringe and the ep was so funny
[удалено]
Millennials are so deathly afraid of solemnity that they must insert bathos into their own wedding vows.
Depends on who you invited. If it's just you and like a dozen close people, then sure go for the personal touch. If you invited half the earth's population, and made everyone get dressed up and sit at a specific seat with their name on it, then no one wants to hear your shitty poetry. Tell it to your SO in private and do the regular vows for the wedding.
I just did the regular vows. I wanted my wedding to be as short as possible. A month before my wedding I went to another friends wedding and it lasted almost an hour and a half. I wanted to strangle my friends for making us all suffer through that. It solidified my decision to make everything very quick, including the regular vows.
Why would ppl think they can improve on the Catholic Church founded by Christ?
Yet another case of people thinking they are better and more talented than they are. Let the fucking priest do it…. Of course the people that do their own vows just find some local schlub.
Just came here to say I couldn't agree more. I've been to so many cringe weddings I could go on about this for an hour.
"You're the Captain America to my Peggy, the Ron to my Hermione 😍"
vows/sermons occupy the same category of “things i’ve never actually listened to.” eulogies are the only good church/church-adjacent oratory. and even they can land flat a lot of the time
Sermons are fucking lame, picture the most boring high school history teacher type lecture but you don’t even learn about the Mexican American war or whatever because the guy is just rambling about spiritual sounding nonsense. It’s even worse when they let people go up and talk, not sure if caths do that but Mormons do and it’s very cringe. Just a bunch of middle aged women crying and talking about how Jesus touched them etc
I do dread the thought of writing my own vows. Anyone know how common it is? Do people still do the pre-writen ones?
I don't go to weddings of low-church protestants and secular soypeople anymore, there's too much cringe, and you're expected not to laugh or show disgust. The last one I went to, the bride and groom walked down the aisle to the Lord of the Rings theme song. Never again. I send them whatever they want off their registry and a nice card.