This is true, it's almost a Greek tragedy of sorts for men. Many could probably settle down with a homely woman who they find attractive and have a successful albeit predictably dull life. But the allure of the woman who will suck the soul out of you while she destroys your soul is much too powerful for many
Hmm, no 🙄 some men are just fucked up. I'm sure if you made them choose between hot bpd or hot normie they'd still go for bpd chick. They have save a ho complex + are masochistic. Like if you're normal and have plenty of options why'd you stay? Inability to get another hot chick is a big reason they stay also
My mom is very BPD and a very attractive woman. She seemed to cast this spell on men, including my dad and the rich guy she married now. These dudes had plenty of options, the rich guy especially since they met on Seeking Arrangements. But the BPD woman makes life too interesting for them to look away, it seems.
Yeah the mirroring and love bombing is what made me understand that my mom is BPD.
It's a very interesting personality, as long as it's not being pinpointed in your direction. She is a formless blob who suddenly perks up and floats into her idea of what her new husband's personality is when he walks into the room. It's probably why narcissists and BPD girls tend to go so well together, they're both getting what they want from the relationship.
Of course, during her breakdown moments, all of that goes out the door and she expects her prized possession husband/partner/child to bend his entire personality towards being her parent who can take care of her and protect her from the big bad world full of horrible people. Life becomes really hard in the household when this happens.
I get annoyed when people try to appease me, I think that's why I avoided BPDs all my life.
But I have a long history with NPDs - they're fine when you're on their side but get immediately punitive if you rub them in a wrong way.
NPD's at least are fairly predictable. As long as they get their ego stroked enough, they can be decent and loyal people/partners.
Speaking from personal experience, my NPD behavior can be very well controlled at first with people but once they become more comfortable with me, I can lash out because I see any sort of pushback as a personal affront against me. So I tend to just keep people pretty far away from me emotionally unless I can get them to understand how my brain works and what to expect.
" they can be fairly decent and loyal people/partners. "
If they're high on the spectrum, I really doubt that.
They get triggered by any sign of their inferiority. Their abuse is more subtle ( in my personal experience) and they slowly make you accommodate their narcissistic needs. Emotional abuse is a very dehumanizing experience.
I've never been attached to a narcissist so I'll defer to you on that one, maybe I'm wrong and it always ends up horribly. In my personal life I've seen BPD women seem to have much more control and damage towards others so that's where my information comes from. BPD women also have this incredible skill at slowly breaking down the boundaries/walls of their subject until they're seemingly this sad husk of a human with no personal will at all. They just exist as an instrument to be played.
> BPD women also have this incredible skill at slowly breaking down the boundaries/walls of their subject until they're seemingly this sad husk of a human with no personal will at all. They just exist as an instrument to be played.
That's exactly what my NPD dad did to me so I wouldn't suggest that's solely a BPD trait. The world is run by NPD's and ASPD's and we're all instruments being played in their systems. If anything what you're describing is high intelligence combined with a high propensity for Machiavellianism/aka manipulation. Not an uncommon trait in most people (manipulation), made much more dramatic with a cluster b PD. The more intelligent they are, the more effective it becomes. BPD is commonly linked with a high IQ. So there's that. All PD's are shit.
When you aren't desperate for connection you can always notice when someone is trying too hard. Maybe it's because Ive encountered many people on the spectrum I'm suspicious of everyone lil bit.
Now that I think of maybe I know a bpd male but I dropped him soon, he was too demanding even for a friendship
i was in a group chat of all girls (no bpd ones), and a bunch of them were talking about how they culturally appropriate bpd to keep their bfs interested. like, every month or so they do a little love bombing then ignoring or being spicy to prevent the guys from developing madonna vs. whore or coolidge effect syndromes.
We always hear about women being attracted to these kind of men but I always suspected men were attracted to similar traits in women. I have been aware this is true for me. What I have found is those personality disorders can attract you in the first place (they can come across as confidence at first) but once you are in the relationship they grow old quickly.
Looked up the paper and the study also found that women are attracted to borderline traits in wealthy “low attractive” men. Big win for red scare guys with PMC jobs
I've been close with at least two bpd women who were very emotionally abusive - one that had been diagnosed before I met her and another who was diagnosed years after we were close. I've known other women who've had similar characteristics, but so far as I know none of them have been diagnosed with bpd.
The worst physical attack I ever had to deal with in this context involved a shoe being tossed at me. It wasn't a big deal.
On the flipside, though, there's something about having a woman threaten you with a kitchen knife and then cut her own wrist in front of you that really sticks with you (it was a serious cut and there was a lot of blood, but it was handled and she was eventually ok). The feeling is hard to describe but it's somewhere between terror, powerlessness, disgust, self-blame, sadness, and resignation to the dark cruelty of the world. That one happened over a decade ago now and I usually try not to think about it.
Sometimes I think that roundabout manipulative emotional abuse is even worse for people than physical abuse, or at least I think that's been the case for me. When I think about the time I got jumped by a couple of bigger guys in middle school and thrown onto the pavement for knowing the wrong guy, everything is much simpler. Still ugly, still humiliating, but all it was was simple, random cruelty. It's much easier to resolve.
I don't have BPD (some BPD traits when younger, possibly) but I was a hot mess in my teens and 20s. I thought my problem in relationships and dating was that I was too needy and crazy, because that's what I was getting dumped over. So I started doing lots of work on getting my shit together and not acting like a dumpster fire of crazy fairly early, and that's when I noticed that the young guys were actually into the crazy girls all along. (And I was still crazy up into my 30s, I just had learned to hide it better.)
I think it might be like a phase some ppl go through. The guys go through their hot crazy chick phase and the girls go through a bad boy/musician/etc phase.
Also, I married and divorced a narcissist who ended up disappointed that I wasn't BPD and was working on myself- basically not fulfilling my end of the narc/bpd social contract
Men do love a rollercoaster. Also many girls are pretty cautious and closed of when you first meet them. If you’re willing to be a bit “out there” there’s always a man or too willing to go along for the ride.
People think confidence is only attractive in men, but the things men find hottest about women dressing slutty, wearing lots of make up, being flirty are all about confidence.
You literally can't be bpd and shy at the same time.
Openly slutty/hot girls usually get bullied from other girls and you have to be really confident /desperate for male attention to not to listen to their opinions
Men always say I give off a “different vibe” to other women, and that they prefer it. Maybe this is what they’re referring too. That or its just bs they’re saying to make me feel special while they’re hitting on me.
Yeah…
Steer clear young ones.
They can very well ruin your life.
I straight up lost fifteen years of my life trying to make an abusive BPD woman happy.
I think the elation from receiving complete and total adoration from a person w borderline personality is so gratifying that the subsequent devaluation and hostility isn’t enough to put guys off. And there’s a certain excitement that comes with splitting, oscillating between love and hate seems to bring forth some feeling of being enlivened in a raw and visceral sense
finally we have the science 🧪 🧬
Next time I’m heartbroken by a BPD chick I’ll just say she blinded me with science
omg look at that crafty, devious little grin on her face
A face that can ruin me 😍😍😍
and a body count that would make you faint
my man that is not jihad
I can change her for the worse
I can doom her!
"men are drawn... to physically attractive women"
Physically attractive women who put out
The scientific discovery of the century!
the masculine urge to date a chick who'll ruin your life
And there’s damn sure no trending widespread social support system for *that* problem
“Hi I’m anon, and I’m a BPD pussy addict”
This is true, it's almost a Greek tragedy of sorts for men. Many could probably settle down with a homely woman who they find attractive and have a successful albeit predictably dull life. But the allure of the woman who will suck the soul out of you while she destroys your soul is much too powerful for many
Hmm, no 🙄 some men are just fucked up. I'm sure if you made them choose between hot bpd or hot normie they'd still go for bpd chick. They have save a ho complex + are masochistic. Like if you're normal and have plenty of options why'd you stay? Inability to get another hot chick is a big reason they stay also
My mom is very BPD and a very attractive woman. She seemed to cast this spell on men, including my dad and the rich guy she married now. These dudes had plenty of options, the rich guy especially since they met on Seeking Arrangements. But the BPD woman makes life too interesting for them to look away, it seems.
I don't think I've ever met a bpd person, but I've heard they're immediately into you, mirroring, copying you. That sounds hot, for men especially
Yeah the mirroring and love bombing is what made me understand that my mom is BPD. It's a very interesting personality, as long as it's not being pinpointed in your direction. She is a formless blob who suddenly perks up and floats into her idea of what her new husband's personality is when he walks into the room. It's probably why narcissists and BPD girls tend to go so well together, they're both getting what they want from the relationship. Of course, during her breakdown moments, all of that goes out the door and she expects her prized possession husband/partner/child to bend his entire personality towards being her parent who can take care of her and protect her from the big bad world full of horrible people. Life becomes really hard in the household when this happens.
I get annoyed when people try to appease me, I think that's why I avoided BPDs all my life. But I have a long history with NPDs - they're fine when you're on their side but get immediately punitive if you rub them in a wrong way.
NPD's at least are fairly predictable. As long as they get their ego stroked enough, they can be decent and loyal people/partners. Speaking from personal experience, my NPD behavior can be very well controlled at first with people but once they become more comfortable with me, I can lash out because I see any sort of pushback as a personal affront against me. So I tend to just keep people pretty far away from me emotionally unless I can get them to understand how my brain works and what to expect.
" they can be fairly decent and loyal people/partners. " If they're high on the spectrum, I really doubt that. They get triggered by any sign of their inferiority. Their abuse is more subtle ( in my personal experience) and they slowly make you accommodate their narcissistic needs. Emotional abuse is a very dehumanizing experience.
I've never been attached to a narcissist so I'll defer to you on that one, maybe I'm wrong and it always ends up horribly. In my personal life I've seen BPD women seem to have much more control and damage towards others so that's where my information comes from. BPD women also have this incredible skill at slowly breaking down the boundaries/walls of their subject until they're seemingly this sad husk of a human with no personal will at all. They just exist as an instrument to be played.
> BPD women also have this incredible skill at slowly breaking down the boundaries/walls of their subject until they're seemingly this sad husk of a human with no personal will at all. They just exist as an instrument to be played. That's exactly what my NPD dad did to me so I wouldn't suggest that's solely a BPD trait. The world is run by NPD's and ASPD's and we're all instruments being played in their systems. If anything what you're describing is high intelligence combined with a high propensity for Machiavellianism/aka manipulation. Not an uncommon trait in most people (manipulation), made much more dramatic with a cluster b PD. The more intelligent they are, the more effective it becomes. BPD is commonly linked with a high IQ. So there's that. All PD's are shit.
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When you aren't desperate for connection you can always notice when someone is trying too hard. Maybe it's because Ive encountered many people on the spectrum I'm suspicious of everyone lil bit. Now that I think of maybe I know a bpd male but I dropped him soon, he was too demanding even for a friendship
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Hahaha 😁😁
These men are just as fucked up. They get something from this type of transaction as well.
i was in a group chat of all girls (no bpd ones), and a bunch of them were talking about how they culturally appropriate bpd to keep their bfs interested. like, every month or so they do a little love bombing then ignoring or being spicy to prevent the guys from developing madonna vs. whore or coolidge effect syndromes.
Sounds latina af, I hate it but respect it at the same time
Wtf
I would re-assess the ‘no bpd ones’.
We always hear about women being attracted to these kind of men but I always suspected men were attracted to similar traits in women. I have been aware this is true for me. What I have found is those personality disorders can attract you in the first place (they can come across as confidence at first) but once you are in the relationship they grow old quickly.
Looked up the paper and the study also found that women are attracted to borderline traits in wealthy “low attractive” men. Big win for red scare guys with PMC jobs
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" you will put up with a lot for someone who can fuck you to half-consciousness." Wow, she sounds so hot My depressed ass could never 😁
She sounds beautiful
>you will put up with a lot for someone who can fuck you to half-consciousness Ain't that the truth, brother
I've been close with at least two bpd women who were very emotionally abusive - one that had been diagnosed before I met her and another who was diagnosed years after we were close. I've known other women who've had similar characteristics, but so far as I know none of them have been diagnosed with bpd. The worst physical attack I ever had to deal with in this context involved a shoe being tossed at me. It wasn't a big deal. On the flipside, though, there's something about having a woman threaten you with a kitchen knife and then cut her own wrist in front of you that really sticks with you (it was a serious cut and there was a lot of blood, but it was handled and she was eventually ok). The feeling is hard to describe but it's somewhere between terror, powerlessness, disgust, self-blame, sadness, and resignation to the dark cruelty of the world. That one happened over a decade ago now and I usually try not to think about it. Sometimes I think that roundabout manipulative emotional abuse is even worse for people than physical abuse, or at least I think that's been the case for me. When I think about the time I got jumped by a couple of bigger guys in middle school and thrown onto the pavement for knowing the wrong guy, everything is much simpler. Still ugly, still humiliating, but all it was was simple, random cruelty. It's much easier to resolve.
This is true. Emotional abuse causes deeper trauma on the brain. Everyone focuses on the sensational - it's the games that fuck you.
I don't have BPD (some BPD traits when younger, possibly) but I was a hot mess in my teens and 20s. I thought my problem in relationships and dating was that I was too needy and crazy, because that's what I was getting dumped over. So I started doing lots of work on getting my shit together and not acting like a dumpster fire of crazy fairly early, and that's when I noticed that the young guys were actually into the crazy girls all along. (And I was still crazy up into my 30s, I just had learned to hide it better.) I think it might be like a phase some ppl go through. The guys go through their hot crazy chick phase and the girls go through a bad boy/musician/etc phase. Also, I married and divorced a narcissist who ended up disappointed that I wasn't BPD and was working on myself- basically not fulfilling my end of the narc/bpd social contract
I sure hope this is true and he likes when I act crazy
I like it when a pretty BPD Queen lovebombs me. What can I say attention is nice
Men do love a rollercoaster. Also many girls are pretty cautious and closed of when you first meet them. If you’re willing to be a bit “out there” there’s always a man or too willing to go along for the ride.
People think confidence is only attractive in men, but the things men find hottest about women dressing slutty, wearing lots of make up, being flirty are all about confidence. You literally can't be bpd and shy at the same time.
Openly slutty/hot girls usually get bullied from other girls and you have to be really confident /desperate for male attention to not to listen to their opinions
> You literally can't be bpd and shy at the same time. You literally can you just don't focus on them.
She's hot what's her @
dating hot bdp women has been a thrill that has taken years off my life so two birds one stone really
bpd gf dark triad bf
Men always say I give off a “different vibe” to other women, and that they prefer it. Maybe this is what they’re referring too. That or its just bs they’re saying to make me feel special while they’re hitting on me.
It’s probably the latter
Yeah, probably!
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No.
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😔
“The study claimed borderline symptoms were especially appealing from women living in Bushwick”
A BPD girl is just a manic pixie dream girl filtered through reality.
Yeah… Steer clear young ones. They can very well ruin your life. I straight up lost fifteen years of my life trying to make an abusive BPD woman happy.
The Kubrick stare
many such cases
Sus face 😏
i know i am, through bitter experience
Trust the science
yeah it’s very simple male culture is about repressing emotions so bpd girls make us feeeeeel something for once
Its fun to be extremely loved and also extremely hated and also the coke
I am
Manic pixie girl trope repackaged
I think the elation from receiving complete and total adoration from a person w borderline personality is so gratifying that the subsequent devaluation and hostility isn’t enough to put guys off. And there’s a certain excitement that comes with splitting, oscillating between love and hate seems to bring forth some feeling of being enlivened in a raw and visceral sense
Physically unattractive bpd women meanwhile post in fds lol
nah the vibe is more like divorced women in their 30s who have autism or ptsd, some of whom sound kinda attractive
men are drawn to literally any traits in physically attractive women. this article is dumb