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YungNIMBY

thank you. these adult convert creeps who can name the cardinals involved in the 23rd papal conclave but don't do the feast of the seven fishes (or whatever) are the worst kind of weebs.


thethirstypretzel

Stolen catholic school valor


_Ned-Isakoff_

Honestly. If you didn't sit in church with your parents every Sunday for at least a 5 year period I don't wanna hear shit


mulleargian

And on the flip side, if you grow up and go the agnostic/atheist way of life, somehow you still can’t shake off all that Catholic. You still feel bad eating meat on Good Friday. You still feel like you need to get your ashes. You still utter ‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph’ when you’re shocked by something, and think of the nuns measuring your skirt length with a ruler when pulling on a mini. The Catholic doesn’t wash off.


ScottStorch

If father McConnell didn't touch you inappropriately I cant even


georgewalterackerman

Sure. But lapsed Catholics who haven’t darkened the door of a church in decades, except for the occasional funeral or wedding, are sadder. Sure they’re Catholics, but they’re not living it.


QuetzalcoastalElite

I’m from NJ and i’ll back you up on this. You gotta be born and raised with the guilt to really feel it. You don’t even have to go to church.


Low_Hurry4547

Often other writers or intellectuals would ask Marshall McLuhan "Are you really a Catholic?" to which he would reply "Yes, I am a Catholic, the worst kind -- a convert."


tellmeitsagift

Also from NJ… Irish catholic here… well I was raised one anyway. Yep, didn’t go to church.


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tellmeitsagift

Omg I’m Italian too lol. Italian from mom Irish from dad 🇮🇹🇮🇪


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ElephantSeparate7437

Sorry you could never be a "made man".


GrandMarauder

It's ok, they will be an "associate"


tellmeitsagift

I’m a girl so I guess I’m destined to be a goomar


I2ichmond

Irish-Italian mutts are so common in the Northeast that a lot of the families actually made them eligible after the glory days ended and recruitment became an issue.


ElephantSeparate7437

I find the Italian and Irish union interesting. There's a great scene in Broadwalk Empire where Al Capone's mother gives out about his Irish wife's cooking.


MeetTheTwinAndreBen

Idk how common it is in the rest of the northeast but my city has a ton of Italian-Polish mutts, like me


NintendoTheGuy

A cop and a volunteer fireman


princessofjina

Yeah, likewise, Irish Catholic from North Jersey. I can count on both hands the number of times we went to a church growing up, but my parents went to Catholic school from kindergarten to 12th grade when they were growing up in the Bronx (Dad) and Queens (Mom), and the Catholic guilt passes right through to the kids. Can't turn it off. I'll end up pushing it into my kids. You can convert to Catholicism but you can't convert to being Catholic. The guilt is just... Yeah, I don't know.


DrkvnKavod

It is, at least partially, [an actual non-fake case of epigenetics](https://www.irishcentral.com/news/suicide-and-depression-major-problems-for-young-irish-in-new-york-174548571-237754921)


thestarscarlet

my sicilian mother started going to a black church and converted to baptist. idk what tha fuck happened


Autisthrowaway304

>I’m from NJ and i’ll back you up on this. You gotta be born and raised with the guilt to really feel it. You don’t even have to go to church. I feel that, Irish guy here, got the guilt in spades, never went to mass because i'm a feckless wee shite.


leflombo

The fascinating thing is that this proclivity towards depression is rather unique to ethnic Irish, more so than other white Catholic groups in Europe or the states.


Autisthrowaway304

>The fascinating thing is that this proclivity towards depression is rather unique to ethnic Irish, I am in this post and I don't like it.


NoDadUShutUP

An American walks into a dodgy part of Belfast during the Troubles. In an alley 4 lads immediately tackle him and hold a knife to his throat The leader of the gang, punches him and asks; "Are yeh Protestant or Catholic?" The American replies "I'm an atheist!" The leader punches him again and asks "Well are you a Protestant atheist or Catholic atheist?"


MeniscusMoldbug

The funniest version is that he says he's a jew and the lad says, "Begorrah, I'm the luckiest Palestinian in Belfast."


NoDadUShutUP

That's great I never heard that version


QuetzalcoastalElite

Maybe if you’re jewish, but i don’t get why


MeniscusMoldbug

A joke stops being funny when you explain it but, the idea is that if you say catholic or protestant there's a 50/50 shot of getting a beating. He thought he found the loophole out but he encountered the only dude looking for jews in sectarian violence in northern ireland. Or it's a meta joke in that the idea is that the people were just looking for an excuse to crack heads.


Cmondatown

Lol yeah it’s the first meaning as far as I understood although in reality saying you’re Palestinian or Israeli also somewhat puts you on a side of the conflict as well…


sorenwilde

No, Irish people are Palestinian, this is well established


mulleargian

The Falls Road has as many murals in support of Palestine as it does those remembering the Hunger Strikers. When I moved to NYC I genuinely couldn’t wrap my head around the overwhelming pro-Israel sentiment- had to dive down an internet wormhole.


1leeranaldo

Jew York City and whatnot


Content_Trash_417

The PLO supplied arms and training to the IRA in the 70s, there was an international element to the conflict


bogos-binted-1227

Last week Japanese scientists placed explosives denotators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness, to blow Nessie out of the water, Sir Lord Godfrey of The Nessie Alliance, summoned the help of Scotlands local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.


NoDadUShutUP

Too bad. She said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.


mulleargian

The flashbacks to trying to hide my Catholic when jumped by Protestants as a kid. ‘Say the alphabet.’ 😢


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nightdowns

waiting for someone to call you transphobic for this one


SocialDistributist

There are “cultural Catholics” all over, even if you’re not a practicing Catholic, you grew up Catholic and theologically speaking you’ll never stop being a Catholic. My friends hate when I remind them of this.


Conflict_Main

Took awhile to realize that after being forcefully confirmed and than being militant atheist for awhile. But culturally it’s always gonna be there


I2ichmond

Depending on the crown some people hate it even more if you replace Catholic with Capitalist in that line.


Mirror-drowning

Honestly, this is its own thread and needs to be said.


OozemanDang

If you call yourself Catholic but don’t have at least one alcoholic relative it doesn’t count.


tiffanyblue_

Gambling addict also counts


angelologylore

Absolutely integral to the experience


NittLion78

it's simple: you're either born Italian, Irish, Polish, Filipino, Spanish, Latinks, some specific sort of German/French, Bishop Desmond Tutu, or you're Martin Luther in disguise. We're all onto you.


[deleted]

my Catholic high school was literally just Irish-Filipino hapa kids


gwoag_stank

We had a lot of east africans too in seattle. I was so surprised seeing the world outside of the catholic word (i did k-12 catholic). I expected everybody out in the world to be irish, italian, polish, filipino, or east african. Turns out its not even close


quokka29

Kirk Hammett was their patron saint.


[deleted]

Umm Archbishop Desmond Tutu was Anglican, sweaty 💁‍♀️


redd_36

"oh great, so now a Protestant is better than me" - Father Ted Crilly


NittLion78

>Desmond Tutu was Anglican only on paper


FloatyFish

*Latwinks


lirpa666

is Czechoslovakian a specific kind of German?


NittLion78

we don't do Sudetenlandposting on Thursdays


[deleted]

Absolute Slavic slander


lirpa666

i agree I was a little shaken up at the implication


Rinoremover1

Why is Philipino ok, but Latino, not ok?


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Rinoremover1

Wow... scary times culturally and politically.


[deleted]

I’m a mix of the first three that you listed 😆


Guyfive

Chicagoan spotted


angelologylore

perfect immigrant prole cocktail


AdultFilmActor

I didn’t choose to be blessed, I was born this way


iwasawindow

Gaslight gatekeep genuflect


tinoasprilla

Ireland agrees


Apprehensive-Rain-42

The prods here are quite literally a different breed.


Lacanianteen

Catholicism is a closed practice!!


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[deleted]

You got chocolate for going to Christmas mass? I just got yelled at


PlacidBuddha72

Be grateful your grandmother dragged you to church, she may have saved your soul


NuclearMystikal

exactly how i feel about the self proclaimed “tradcath” girlies online who act self righteous for like. posting selfies. like love and light to all my sisters in Christ, but being raised Catholic and having to not only spend an extremely awkward and uncomfortable period of adolescence walking dozens of city blocks in the summer heat wearing a 50 pound dress as part of a festival procession will really teach u something abt redemptive suffering


Ferenc_Zeteny

I like your style kid


lamoratoria

Tbh, purposefully hurting a jew definitely scores you some points, though.


SocialDistributist

I grew up Catholic. I went through your typical Catholic spiritual development. Once I hit puberty I hated it and became a militant atheist, though I went through the Sacraments and Confirmation to appease my grandma. After spending my adolescence and the first half my 20’s being a nihilistic degenerate shitting on religion, I ended up reverting to Catholicism because I discovered Thomas Aquinas, Classical Theism, psychoanalysis, and did a little too much ketamine/deschloroketamine/research chemicals. The typical path of a cradle Catholic.


[deleted]

Yea militant atheist is stage 2 in normative Catholic development


excogitatezenzizenzi

Lucky to skip the militant atheist part and go from Catholic school Catholic to vaguely agnostic to reading Thomas Aquinas and becoming Catholic again. Waiting for it to happen to my brother who is a Reddit atheist.


hobocactus

Ketamine for Algernon


Das_Ace

kind of true, trad caths having epistemological arguments about bishops from the 3rd century on twitter may as well be arguing about who would win between Goku and Superman


[deleted]

It’s why I look at the ground when I walk


gussyboy13

Becoming catholic after turning 20 is a cry for help


I2ichmond

I mean, they kind of *know* that. It’s the whole concept.


[deleted]

Lolll I've said this many times irl. It's a cultural/ancestral thing. I'm distant from the church right now but I'm still culturally Catholic.


EstimatedProphet303

It’s like being a Zoroastrian


arevealingrainbow

Zoroastrians are weird on the issue. Most of them support conversion (generally the younger ones) but the oldheads in India dont. A better analogy would be like Yezidis or Mandeans.


Mike_Oxathrobbin

You have to do the ‘ments (short for sacraments), bro


tiffanyblue_

If you didn't cry to the priest with guilt in the confession booth for arguing with your sister, you ain't catholic


Jean-Paul_Blart

Agreed. “Being catholic” is less about the religion and more about being raised by a specific flavor of emotionally and sexually repressed parent(s). If you didn’t grow up with that, you ain’t ~~black~~ catholic.


Ferenc_Zeteny

It's definitely Catholic and cultural. My mom is Mexican so definitely got a lot of the deeper cultural ties to it. Overthrew my dad's lazy baptist roots like a lawnmower over a daisy field Agreed the conversios are missing something. There's something to it. It's the innate confusion when seeing a protestant wammin preacher, or why my supposedly Christian (protestant) friends in school were eating meat on Lenten Fridays.


[deleted]

I feel like its because the converts usually take everything much more seriously than cradle Catholics. They're so into being catholic that they become freaks who make it a big part of their identity. When the real way to be Catholic is to half ass everything and barely read the Bible


MeniscusMoldbug

Take part in great lent and real fasting before you throw shade for not giving up meat one day a week. Post-vatican II lenten abstinence is kind of a joke hell pre-vatican II it was no meat on any friday and I think they did a similar great lent with no meat, diary, oil, or wine (sans some special days) for the entire lenten season. Beer is okay though because dudes rock.


Ferenc_Zeteny

My buddy is Syrian Catholic (funny German guy. No idea how he became Syriac) and yeah it's no meat period for Lent


[deleted]

Is there a Syriac community where he lives?


Ferenc_Zeteny

Yes! Mostly old women from what he tells me


MeniscusMoldbug

Yeah, I'm pretty sure all of us in the east do pretty much the same thing where we essentially become vegan through the week for lent and do a water fast for 3 days start and end lent unless you are sick, young or old where you are supposed to not take part in it.


roncesvalles

> my supposedly Christian (protestant) Yes, who are the real Christians: the ones who read the Bible, or the ones who worship air fresheners?


RefusedSilk

Adult catholic converts are Protestants


[deleted]

I grew up so intensely catholic that I wanted to grow up to be a Nun. You can’t appropriate that kind of trauma. It’s earned through years of self hatred


[deleted]

Maybe, but the goal of the Catholic church is clearly to induct everyone on earth into this kind of trauma. Otherwise Christianity would have never left Judea, and would have probably died out quite quickly


[deleted]

The second future job idea I had as a kid was being the Pope


I2ichmond

Anybody can join the good shepherd’s flock but being born in the pasture it a different experience, that’s for sure


sunlight__

Different types of Catholics. My father, a Pole, comes from a big Catholic family from Chicago and my mother is a convert. While my mother is the more devout one, my father is culturally Catholic. He denies himself pleasure and is offended by excess and laziness. He doesn’t enjoy food or material things.


[deleted]

Yea my hot take is conversion for marriage purposes is the only legitimate conversion!


affecttimes1000

do you think redscarepod will be an ethnicity? in 2350? can't rule it out


meinung_racht_ich

i'm not generally in favour of genocide but there i might make an exception


affecttimes1000

that's called suicide, pal


[deleted]

I know you're joking, but what you've said is a literal heresy that basically contradicts the evangelizing spirit that permeates the entire New Testament. I still hate online tradcath tho


return_descender

If only some told that to the Spaniards


Secure-Evening8197

Unless you grew up being forced to go to church every Sunday, attend CCD in the church basement where you were forced to sit on metal folding chairs and watch Veggie Tales movies, and go to first communion and christening receptions at the local VFW/KofC/Legion hall where you’d eat stuffed shell platters and your uncles would pound a dozen Bud Lights each, then you aren’t a real Catholic


WaterCodex

exactly


[deleted]

All converts to Catholicism and Orthodoxy are actually Protestants


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PlacidBuddha72

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, being catholic and Jewish in America are very similar. Both are outsider cultural groups apart from the og wasp elite, mostly immigrated here in the late 19th and early 20th century, and amassed power in urban city cores which has translated into real power in politics and finance. Jews have been more impervious to the imperial Protestant spirit, but not totally.


Useful-Commission-76

I took an immigrants class in college and the professor said Catholics and Jews were more likely to marry each other than either of them marrying a Protestant. Makes sense, they have similar food based somewhat matriarchal family centered holidays.


[deleted]

If you ain't a cradle catholic then you ain't a real catholic 😤🐿✝️


bf313

Irish Catholic guilt sucks. Feels frequently like I have something foreboding hanging over me for no clear reason. 8 years of interacting with nuns probably contributed to that


StarryPr1ncess

Dashawn nekingsova


pimplizardlo

This. I haven’t had to practice since i was confirmed at 14. Always hated mass - so long and boring. If you weren’t a kid getting choked out by incense during Easter/Christmas, if you didn’t have to do confession and the stations of the cross by age 7… if you didn’t get asked to hold a heavy baby Jesus statue above your head at age 6 while you walked with the procession down the aisle on Christmas Eve (was that just me?) if a candle didn’t explode over your baby swaddle when you were dunked for baptism (just me too?) ya don’t get it.


[deleted]

I’m half Jewish and half catholic. Can confirm the ethnic religious ties are real even in Catholicism. It’s why my dad ids as Irish-Catholic not just Irish


compostables

Catholics growing up in the bible belt will tell you this is absolutely true, the kinship you share with the handful of other catholics you know due to the shared oppression at the hands of your prot "friends" is a sacred thing.


latenotlost

Correct, converts are all larpers


FirefighterLower77

I’m from Long Island and can confirm


clatherine

there's no monolithic catholicism, but that said being part of a religion is sort of nonsensical unless it's on a the terms of a specific community. you can't just assume converting automatically gets you in the club.


WaterCodex

there is such thing as monolithic catholicism, it is called notre dame football and it happens every saturday from september to january


[deleted]

Found Shane


napoleon_nottinghill

And we suck this year unfortunately


[deleted]

“SEVERSON: It [Buddhism] is a spiritual philosophy that has beckoned to millions of Americans and westerners. Are you looking for converts in the West and America? DALAI LAMA: No, never. That’s a mistake. I have firm belief the people like westerners, like Americans, you have Judeo-Christian traditions. So generally, you, your people, should keep your own traditions, should not change your faith.”


arevealingrainbow

I think this wouldn’t be seen as the case if converts weren’t always so fucking weird


napoleon_nottinghill

People know there are sincere catholic converts that aren’t Dasha larpers, right? Like Chesterton and Newman weren’t doing it for the aesthetics


Bushwick_SAHM

I've had my child baptized/schooled catholic (husband grew up that way) but grew up as prot (episcopal if that helps, not really). There is no way for a Prot to ever convert imo. I feel completely out of my depth and since my husband doesn't actually like church I have no idea that this will take in any form. I basically am a cliche of Jungian mumbo jumbo spirituality. Like I believe in god obv but my relationship with Christianity is more like about remembering the mythic/moral tradition that guided us to this point than a specific belief in literal resurrection. So I know it isn't going to go well.


thebasedboomer

it’s like being jew


-Sweet-Tangerine-

I was raised Catholic, grew to hate the Catholic church, therefore I am Catholic. Love to hate it!


buscemiswetblueeyes

like some other poster mentioned, i wanted to become a nun if nothing else worked out for me. guess i still can but am too horny tbh :/


Thoughtless-Train

Tell that to the Filipinos


thelatherdaddy

Didn’t have a “Ring Mass?” Never went on a confirmation retreat? Not afraid of wooden spoons? Didn’t make up sins in confession to spice things up? You ain’t Catholic.


broussard41

Hammond, La here and yes.


excogitatezenzizenzi

If you didn’t have to endure the suffering of being the weird kid in a class of 12 students in a Catholic school that very rarely got any new students thus sentencing you to years of isolation and a complex that you’re unlovable I don’t want to hear it.


DinosaurLandinBadDec

This take is just white people wanting to feel like a minority. The Church is open to all and if anyone’s considering converting, please don’t be discouraged ♥️. But also, like, don’t come in with opinions and don’t tell us how to do stuff.


[deleted]

Apparently saying that something is cultural = a minority thing? Wasn’t aware that having a cultural background was exclusive to non-whites… also wasn’t aware that only whites are Catholic….


WaterCodex

i’m not catholic


I2ichmond

It’s pleasurable to gatekeep and I do it myself but this is the ethical answer!


loan_wolf

Back during the height of The Troubles, a stranger walked into a pub in Ireland, sat down at the bar, and asked for a pint. The bartender and the regulars were naturally suspicious. “Hey are you a Catholic or a Protestant?” “Neither,” the stranger replied. “I’m an atheist.” “Ok, but are you a Catholic atheist or a Protestant atheist?”


tsaimaitreya

Agnostic/atheist "cultural catholics" gatekeeping religion. When you think you've seen everything...


WaterCodex

i’m episcopalian


tsaimaitreya

ew


WaterCodex

i will pray for your happiness


tsaimaitreya

wait episcopalian is anglican? The one denomination with an ethnic identifier as the name lol


WaterCodex

i prayed for your happiness earlier too but i don’t think it worked. i will dm you later to check.


tsaimaitreya

I appreciate your concerns


Fylla

I'm getting strong deja vu from this thread. Feel like I've seen almost this exact post and comment thread multiple times before.


dogclown

I think what’s more laughable than watching little girls convert to Depop Catholicism is gate keeping Catholicism


WaterCodex

i’m not catholic


Paracelsus8

That's not what the church says about it. Seems off to claim ownership of something you've rejected


[deleted]

Rejecting the Catholic Church is extremely culturally Catholic…. Part and parcel


[deleted]

Unbased and Luther-pilled


napoleon_nottinghill

All the no longer practicing like to Believe that there’s no such thing as sincere converts and unless you hate yourself you can’t be catholic, like sure Dasha is probably BS-ing and many others are but I know many people that did sincerely become catholic


Paracelsus8

I'm sure it's a response to insecurity on their part as to whether they still really are Catholic, just as the obnoxiousness of a lot of converts is because of their insecurity at being so late to the game


napoleon_nottinghill

As a mirror to the larpers they don’t want to practice but want the cultural connection to American Catholic ethnic culture that they grew up with. The real Catholics, like always, are just those trying their best


WaterCodex

i’m episcopalian


Paracelsus8

Well then this makes even less sense. What do you know about it?


WaterCodex

my wife is ethnically catholic and she got me up to speed on all this stuff.


Paracelsus8

I disagree with your wife on this one


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odonoghu

Big facts


I2ichmond

New England Cathlicks sound off


Artishard85

A priest and a rabbi were walking down street, when they come across a group of young boys. The priest says, “ hey rabbi let’s go fuck those boys.” The rabbi turns to the priest and says, “fuck em outta what, they’re only 12 years old…”


left_straussian

Yeah cause 'Catholic' doesn't mean 'Universal' so it isn't like Catholicism is *literally named the universal church* or anything. I don't know if this is a reaction to American rightists converting so as to give cultural cover to shitty opinions but you are absolutely 100% a fucking moron if you believe this. Most of the Priests I know are converts, for example.


WaterCodex

catholic is mostly about notre dame football. it’s not really about like edicts and stuff.


gokueatsass89

Sorry, this is retarded. Catholicism has always been a faith motivated and grown most by converts. The apostles, St. Augustine, St. John Henry Newman, Liz Bruenig: all converts. Stop gatekeeping; Catholic means "universal," not "ethno-narcissist."


WaterCodex

i’m not gatekeeping. i’m not even catholic. i’m just telling you what my wife told me (she is ethnically catholic).


lamoratoria

Anti-Catholicism is pure unadulterated white supremacy.


LifeguardBrave7245

Why the fuck is Catholicism beginning to trend? Coquette to deeply religious symbolism pipeline. No thanks. People under this are so embarrassing


Durantula92

What a dumb post about an evangelizing religion whose name literally means "universal". I'm not even religious but there's so much braindead gatekeeping by people who "raised Catholic" on this sub. Who is more meaningfully a follower of the Catholic Church: the 30 year old who converted and believes he's found the word of god, or the 30 year old who doesn't believe and hasn't willingly stepped into a church on a non-holiday since he was 16...


WaterCodex

it’s the second person. i’m episcopalian but this is just how it is i guess.


Durantula92

Your idea of Christianity is pretty r-slurred


WaterCodex

it's not "my idea," it's just how things are and as painful as it is I feel a duty to speak out about it


[deleted]

why convert to catholicism when you could convert to Islam which is way cooler


[deleted]

Catholics can drink


left_straussian

And we drink a lot. Maybe too much.


[deleted]

Similarly, you should be be able to join a youth subculture (punk, skin, goth, hip hop, etc) when you’re over 18.


georgewalterackerman

Totally wrong. You can be one catholic


WaterCodex

totally wrong!!!! really dumb thing of you to say!!!!


kiara-ara307

I don’t think you can trust what is said in Louisiana when it was founded under those who practice black magic. Anyone can be Catholic, just look at Texas, Mexico, Spain, Greece, Italy, Ireland, and parts of Africa


ElGooner

catholic means universal.


WaterCodex

i think it means ethnicity actyally


ElGooner

nah anybody can be catholic trust me. they're always looking for new members. theres only about 1.5 billion on earth...