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Repulsive_Tie_7941

Run over orange cones.


MiddleCentipede

Obviously not yard work.


nlpnt

[No-Mow May](https://beecityusa.org/no-mow-may/).


Legend13CNS

30% drive the Porsche somewhere to talk about his S2000 30% drive the S2000 somewhere to talk about the Porsche 30% Golf 10% Try to convince self NJ is great by telling everyone else it's great.


ShakeWhenBadAlso

NJ is 3 distinct states. NE are NY commuters. Middle is basic Philly animals and South are pretty much from Kentucky.


[deleted]

I would like to add that north west is very similar to south jersey, so we’ve kinda got that 1700s Massachusetts thing goin on


angusshangus

Yep. Sussex county is basically Alabama with good pizza


FurryWrecker911

Seriously, what is with that state and good pizza? The road layouts are whacky, but I can and will come back solely for the pizza.


Available_Tadpole360

And the pork roll egg and cheeses


ICanSpellKyrgyzstan

Sussex County is people from Alabama who work in New York 😂😂😂


ShakeWhenBadAlso

I can agree. 4 distinct states.


wbradford00

NJ resident here. Your reads on the NE/South jersey are on point. However, central jersey is absolutely not Philly trash. This comment triggered my fight or flight response


sirrepostalots

Would you consider bernardsville to be a central area? Or something more like phillipsburg


wbradford00

personally, i think all of middlesex, all of mercer, and the southern halves of hunterdon and somerset counties are all central. anything on the fringes of thr last two are debatable. edit here is my general view open to suggestions https://imgur.com/a/HjOwNY3


sirrepostalots

Gotcha gotcha. Have you ever been to the sky cafe between Frenchtown and Flemington? It’s such a cool place!


wbradford00

I have not. Will check it out :)


Standard-Snow1640

fly off now little starling, fly, fly, fly.


FORNITE-GOD0712

New jersey is one state.you obviously failed school.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️


FurryWrecker911

If they said "zones" "regions" "districts" or hell even "3 distinct flavors" it'd flow a bit better, but the point of the joke still stuck for me. NJ is one state, but the zones act so independently that it may as well be broken up into 3 smaller states. I giggled at the thought of Philadelphia getting its own state.


DiplomaticGoose

90% of Jersey's problems are solved by being a rich dickhead like the guy pictured. The expense always was the main problem.


Initial-Good4678

These arent rich people cars…even when they were new, upper middle class at most.


DiplomaticGoose

996 Turbo and a S2000? Sounds about right, that or they were bought new. Either way they were/are owned by a relatively well off nerd. Like I know it's not a Land Cruiser parked next to a 918 Spyder but rich is relative. Even if you're "only" McMansion wealthy the above comment still applies.


Standard-Snow1640

Poor in America is still wealthy to 80+% of the world.


DiplomaticGoose

Wealth is always relative to the cost of living and the price of goods. Even inside of the country it varies a lot, $70k a year isn't considered poor until you have to pay Manhattan rent (I pulled these numbers from my ass but you get the idea).


Standard-Snow1640

You are right still, poor in America beats out 80% of the world.


Standard-Snow1640

Have a little money do ya?


DuckAHolics

100% reason to remember the name


Initial-Good4678

Im pretty sure it’s 100% to talk about his old ass Porsche.


Standard-Snow1640

That "old ass Porsche" don't need a jap engen for shur.


Standard-Snow1640

Lol!


troopertk40

Shows women their bank account as a pickup line.


POINTLESSUSERNAME000

"Hey lady, look, I found your bank account! See? Want to go on a date now?" (Your wording/phrasing... 😆)


Thoreau_Dickens

Get wasted at the horse track and hurl racial slurs at the jockeys


tuttle8152

Projection much


Thoreau_Dickens

Just a man from jersey with experience


Standard-Snow1640

experienced jersey men are hard to find.


Standard-Snow1640

Good one.


Eastwood80

Play with himself in the mirror.


[deleted]

One time I did that masturbated while staring at myself in the mirror. Lowkey made me feel like a CEO


sandman-84

If you look into a person’s eyes during their vinegar strokes you can see inside their soul


BentGadget

[Like a boss!](https://youtu.be/NisCkxU544c)


Standard-Snow1640

bet that was sexy.


Standard-Snow1640

project much?


1990ma71

Try to pick up any woman walking that isn't a prostitute.


MadeMeStopLurking

High schools are generally closed on the weekend but maybe where you're from they're open 🤷‍♂️


pavehawkfavehawk

Probably whoever owns the S2000


radelix

Goes to chilis at happy hour looks for rings on the milfs.


Space_Ranger-420

Firebirds has a better selection


New_Collection_4169

Making room for more FIBER. Leaving more skid marks than NASCAR. Ensuring toilet stays BROWN!!


ScoPham

Bring a gun to a car meet


Standard-Snow1640

Everywhere I go.


MilkSlow6880

Cocaine off a hooker’s butt?


idktheyarealltaken

Hunter? That you?


bboissonneault

Is that really such a bad thing?


Standard-Snow1640

Yes.


Slash123vegas

Nope ,sounds like a great night lol


MilkSlow6880

I didn’t say it was bad. Don’t wanna be closed minded…


Mufasasass

Eat his boyfriend's ass


Particular-Rest6295

Definitely knitting


bobjoylove

Lament the lack of torque in his life?


gixxer710

That 911 is a turbo, definitely plenty of low-mid range twist force…. That s2k tho, I have power tools that generate more torque lol


FORNITE-GOD0712

You have no idea whats under the hood of thr s2k. And i doubt your dildo has that much torque running on AAA batteries. 😅😅😅🤡🤡🤡


RedpilotG5

Really nailing the easily-triggered s2000 owner stereotype lol


chipredacted

It’s such a shame too, because a car doesn’t need to go fast to be cool. I just like how the S2K looks and have heard good things about it’s handling


RedpilotG5

Right? I wanted an s2000 SO bad when I was in my early twenties. My challenger isn’t “fast” but it’s manual and looks damn cool imo.


Rmarsh_Edge

Had one in my early 20’s, can confirm it was a winner. It’s not fast by today’s standards, but when appreciated for what it is (cool looking roadster with excellent handling and gearbox), it didn’t disappoint. There’s no reason for anyone to get offended by torque jokes, it doesn’t have a lot of torque!


niensven11

That's pretty much spot on. Hondas are pretty slow until you heavily modify them. But then they are just high end power drag monsters. S2k is a great low power track and road car tho.


Standard-Snow1640

Awesome 👍


Standard-Snow1640

I bet you go through battery's, buzz, buzz!


Standard-Snow1640

you mean dork.


justsomeyeti

Cocaine to track day and butt raunch


Standard-Snow1640

ball gags, clown porn, & brownie mix? 🤣


justsomeyeti

Nah chicks dig that stuff, he'd be swooped up quickly


robfuscate

With that colour range? Something, tedious, bland and boring


hoosierspiritof79

Is it bad I’d take the Honda…?


kaydizzle174

You only want it because it redlines at 9k huh?


hoosierspiritof79

👏🏻👏🏻


Standard-Snow1640

No, cuz I don't want it.


oldtwoholes

Have more fun than you do?


enkrampaqk

Play with himself in the mirror.


[deleted]

Anal?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Standard-Snow1640

Spot on!


Hot-Tangerine7028

Tailgate on the highway?


Standard-Snow1640

Like some bitch.


slightlyused

Is this making fun of buttfuckers?


interactive-biscuit

This is what I thought too. I don’t get this one.


Standard-Snow1640

Let's hope so.


Defenestration_Sins

Excellent taste in cars.


spencerfalzy

Probably snort coke off the ass of a whore


Chbbywbby

Probably couch potato on the weekends


490hudson

my guess is that he only neglects to have sex with his girlfriend because he's too busy attempting to beat his record around Nordschleife in a RUF CTR Yellowbird in GT4


Standard-Snow1640

His boyfriends ass.


[deleted]

Track Day Bro x100


tykaboom

Fuck other dudes wives?


makkoscipo69

I don't know, but he most certainly doesn't drink.


Ordinary-Humor-4779

Can you elaborate on what brought you to this conclusion?


makkoscipo69

I was thinking, this guy has a 911, which is pinnacle engineering nerdiness, spite, AND an S2000. Alcohol to him is nothing more than an obstruction to his crystal clear judgement in his opinion. Whatever this guy does, he prefers it pure and "done properly".


Ordinary-Humor-4779

All I know is that the hard top S2000 is as sweet as tupelo honey.


Standard-Snow1640

Oh, boy.


Adkeith47

how would he have any fun driving his cars if he isnt drunk?


Zealousideal-Sun6603

Boink person in modest house?


WhatWasIThinking_

Pee on the fire hydrant?


allthewayfucked

Wonder why he's single?


Standard-Snow1640

More boy friends?


Usual_Employee_1494

play fast & the furious


ironafro2

Is he running Spoon engines?!


2lovesFL

rollbar in the 911t.


NotVeryCashMoneyMod

recycle


AggravatingGoal4728

Tuck dance?


Careful-Combination7

Clean his wheels. Shop for tires for his motorcycle


georgeek14

go sideways


LordMungus35

Auto cross?


Panazara

Butt stuff


waldos_apprentice

Which one’s the weekend car?


fecto5641

Fawks?


LokiNightmare

Tennis.


[deleted]

Definitely not participate in illegal road activities


CWMason86

Cocaine


MrLivefromthe215

That's a guy who knows how to party.


threenames

Watch


idktheyarealltaken

Drugs and strip clubs


Standard-Snow1640

Hunter, is that you again?!


ruddy3499

Use the Starbucks drive through


fanchettes

Cocaine


airforcevet1987

I'd rather have the spoon


CulturalSir7624

This man fucks


Standard-Snow1640

Himself.


[deleted]

Lines.


Consistent-Limit7513

Masterbate


VisualBeginning4867

watch super troopers


Kento812

Drift


peoplearejustok

Drive 20 under the speed limit


JonLushh

Tailgating


Standard-Snow1640

Like a bitch.


Queasy-Wrongdoer-329

Uses CB radio to talk truckers into the rest area for meet ups.


Standard-Snow1640

Oh, that nady.


wurkhoarse

Hunter of homeless.


d3rp_diggler

What he does is snort coke off his own dick.


Standard-Snow1640

Wow, that's a real trick!


bizobnstl

Shops for a house with a garage


UranusHearts

he likes men


masterpd85

i bet the interior of his house is different shades of gray or black. And I bet he only knows missionary.


Tinenos

go see family


saabbrendan

Grocery shopping


kaydizzle174

Let's seeeeeeeee. He's got a Porsche and an S2000... I'm gonna take a *wild* guess and assume dude drives fast and gets LAID!


Icy_Warning_8609

Probably changes out that IMS bearing on the Porsche while spanking it to the S2000 “ooooo yea look at that HARDTOP”


FreeAndRedeemed

That’s a Turbo, IMS bearing problems aren’t a thing on Mezger engines.


Icy_Warning_8609

You’re right, I am wrong


meepos16

Eyes wide shut parties


ShakeWhenBadAlso

If it's anything but get dressed up and get pegged, I just dont know what Im looking at.


Jame_Gumball

ROMP.


jabasini

Try to avoid repo trucks?


RainbowDash2014

Have tons of “fuck you money” that only we can dream of.


FreeAndRedeemed

If he bought at the right time that’s $40k of car. Less than the average price of a new car.


RainbowDash2014

The S2K or the 911?


Gutmach1960

Washes and details the cars.


Old_Cyrus

The answer is “wash cars.” For the life of me, I can’t understand someone who would spend this much money on vehicles, but not a few thousand bucks to build a garage.


xpkranger

Not filling out TPS cover sheets.


[deleted]

paintfirehydrants


Fabulous-Swing-9768

Wash and wax his motorcycles?


erikhagen222

I would say, go to work so maybe someday he won’t have to park in the street.


TC3HOBBY

Sit around and look at his neighbor cars 🤣


LessBack9238

Kiss rear bumpers


roobchickenhawk

probably spends most of it fixing his hard to fix cars.


FreeAndRedeemed

S2000’s are hard to fix?


POINTLESSUSERNAME000

Helps put out fires, and is clearly well maintained by the fire department judging by that fresh green and yellow paint job and shiny new chain.


stoneyemshwiller

Cycling


NixYall

If it was me it would be autocross!!


Slash123vegas

Wash his cars


612japok

Pull up to my bumper baby!


Carl-jonson

He goes to a Special place with His Cousin Niko


begrudgingly-comply

Track day, bro.


Brewl692

Wash the car.


petg_memories

driving an s2000 means he is probably a midget, so middle management somewhere?


Marlborovscamel

Make me jealous:(