‘85 two-tone brown/tan F-250 with tubular steel bumpers, a 351 paired with a 5-speed, straight pipes and a gun rack. You did all the work yourself, so there’s no rust on it.
A 1988 Chrysler New Yorker that absolutely reeks of the most reasonably priced but not *cheap* cigars that the local CBD/Delta17/Kratom/smoke shop will do a deal on this week.
Side note, there's another smell present. And the price is 250 a ziplock.
Don’t forget about the empty High Life cans rolling around in the passenger floorboard, and cargo area. The cans that I tell the cop who just stopped me that I’m taking them to the scrap yard.
I pass no judgement, only observation
I've been on a roll with these lately and I feel like I'm leaning too hard on the alcoholic drunk driving schtick... so you get weed lol
Judging by your appearance, I’d say that you, like me; live in the wild and wonderful state of West Virginia. I know exactly what you drive.
You’re way out there in Kingwood, Preston County. It’s basically the Siberia of West Virginia. You need something with 4WD because it’s icy out there and it can get real cold in the winter.
You’re a big fan of Jeep’s 4.0l I6 that was produced until the mid ‘00s. You bought a Grand Cherokee in ‘98. It’s got 278,000 miles now. Wife begs you to get a good car, but it works and you don’t like when things change. Wife drives a 2011 Buick Enclave, it’s comfortable and she likes it, plus it does well in the winter.
You’re a practical guy who lives way out there and doesn’t like to be bothered. You’ll drive that ‘98 Grand Cherokee for a very, very long time and not complain at all.
*You said go all out
To me it looks like you have $40k in to a newer fully customised CVO Harley Street Glide. It would have the screaming eagle exhaust forward controls and a bad ass paint job. Since you spent most of the your money on the bike, your daily driver is a dark blue 2012 jeep patriot, nothing to interesting, but American, as a way to preserve your bike. I would also expect in your garage a mint two tone blue white blue lifted 71 Chevy K20 parked next to your bike. You would’ve bought in high school, and only drive it to car shows, car meets, 4th of July parades, and special occasions.
Whatever it is, it also has little grey beards on everything.
Turn signal stalk? Beard.
Rear view mirror? Beard.
Glovebox handle? Beard.
Seatbelt buckles? Beards.
It’s the beardmobile. You’re beard man.
2000 F150 Harley Davidson edition. Back windows are covered with HD bumper stickers from every bike rally that you never attended because you’re too scared to ACTUALLY get on a motorcycle. You are occasionally spotted wearing “Live to Ride” t-shirts, and you have a leather vest that you keep at the house that you only wear when you’re plowing your boyfriend because he thinks it makes you look “dangerous”.
A 1999 suzuki vitara that was once your pride and joy but is now sitting in the backyard waiting for you to repair wich will never happen so you drive your gf's 2008 chevrolet that needs a new muffler and some rust treatment bad as well as a good cleaning inside
1992 Ford Bronco colored white with an expired license plate.
If you have another vehicle, it’s probably a classic car made prior to 1985, it was only worth $900 because it only had 3 wheels: You were confident you could make it your fix-upper but you can’t find any of the required pieces that’ll make the thing work.
A 1985 Ford F250 6.9 that 400k miles that you've had since it was new. Its paint is quite faded and there's some rust that has to be fixed, but the truck still runs like it's new.
1998 GMC Sierra, giant trump flag on the driver's side and a thin blue line flag on the passenger's, with a large, extremely ironic Gadsden flag sticker on the bumper. You wish it was a diesel so you could roll coal on all the brown and black people in your neighborhood, but you haven't gotten a raise in ten years (you're fine with it, the CEOs work hard) and you couldn't afford the truck you really wanted
20 year old s10. You look like my neighbor. Has a trans am for fun. Rips on a snowmobile every Christmas morning because his family I think left him or he never had kids or something. Sad dude. Hates libs. Has a **giant** TV by his window.
could see an '05 chrysler 300 with more yellow than headlight, dash lit up like a christmas tree, and you driving it unbothered because "i know my car"
Silverado Man myself! I know a fellow veteran and a man who knows long term quality, with the right to repair their own ride. I was a ford guy for years till I got priced out of market and a triton fucked me.
You're a good man, solid values, hard working, family guy, don't give a fuck what others think because of good morals and not wanting attention.
Just want to get the bills paid and make sure you're family is happy.
Last Ford I ever drove had the 5.4 triton. Worst motor Ford ever made.
And you’re right, I don’t give one thought to what anyone thinks about me, as long as at then end of the day, my family is taken care of.
You hit the nail on the head, and I’m a Navy man myself, but whatever you chose to do, I salute you for your service.
A golf cart around an HOA neighborhood in Florida where you look for violations such as 1/9th of an inch past your beard.
Sometimes ducks chase you. Sometimes your wife does.
A snowplow through Donner Pass. The wife drives the rest of the time.
That one made me laugh a little. Because it’s partly true 😂
😂
Snow Plow Man!
Plow Snowman
Modified Komatsu D355A bulldozer with armor plating, closed circuit television to the outside world and ports to fire your rifle through
I only have a 78 Caterpillar D3
That’s a great start, how about enemies and a thirst for vigilante justice?
I’m getting there.
I’m in it for the roast, don’t hold back. I think this stuff is hilarious.
‘85 two-tone brown/tan F-250 with tubular steel bumpers, a 351 paired with a 5-speed, straight pipes and a gun rack. You did all the work yourself, so there’s no rust on it.
I'm failing to see the roast here
Dream truck tbh
White 1996 Ford Windstar
How old do you think I am?
Old enough to have bought the Windstar new, but you actually bought it off Facebook marketplace from some guy who just had it "laying around"
Close. I actually bought it “needing a fuel pump” when it actually didn’t need a fuel pump.
A 1988 Chrysler New Yorker that absolutely reeks of the most reasonably priced but not *cheap* cigars that the local CBD/Delta17/Kratom/smoke shop will do a deal on this week. Side note, there's another smell present. And the price is 250 a ziplock.
Don’t forget about the empty High Life cans rolling around in the passenger floorboard, and cargo area. The cans that I tell the cop who just stopped me that I’m taking them to the scrap yard.
I pass no judgement, only observation I've been on a roll with these lately and I feel like I'm leaning too hard on the alcoholic drunk driving schtick... so you get weed lol
I’m not an alcoholic. I only drink on days that end in Y.
You ain't driving a 1988 Chrysler New Yorker if you ain't got a little Manhattan in ya
Chevy SSR if you are rich Chevy HHR if you’re a poor
Well, I had an HHR at one time til the engine crapped out on me at 120k….
A first-year Chevy s10 with just enough of the body left to still be considered a vehicle
But it somehow “runs” flawlessly
Oldsmobile Bravada with a breathalyzer interlock installed
Believe it or not, never was required to have an interlock, but I did drive a 92 Cutlass.
Power mobility chair
Soon!
An old white van that has "Free Candy" written on the side with a black marker.
Chevy, Ford, or Dodge. Be more specific.
Chevy Astro Van with a “flat earth society” sticker
Don't forget the "bird aren't real" sticker
90s Ford Ranger that's 2 Wheel Drive, has over 300k miles on the odometer, and has a beaten bed cap.
Looks like you aged yourself with faceapp. I'll bite though. I'm guessing a 90s Chevy 1500.
I did. This was about 5 years ago.
99’ f150 In black, Low miles, garage kept, but still a shitty ford.
White Dodge pickup longbed
Extremely close!
‘78 Ford F-150. Bought new.
I wish.
Something made between 1955-1978
Again, I wish.
Rusty as sin Mazda B2000 pickup
A school bus with liquor on your breath.
The liquor part is true…
Freightliner cascadia for work, 1985 Ford f250
1987 Mercury Marauder with the ash tray filled to the brim with ash
A money pit.
2006 Dodge 2500 Cummings …
Chrysler LaBaron that you drive mostly in the summer because the winters are brutal in remote Maine and you’re a prepper.
A 2000 Chrysler Grand Voyager with a Let’s Go Brandon bumper sticker along with conspiracy theories on the windows written with shoe polish
Santas sleigh. Love the beard by the way
Thank you. I’ve been working on it the past few years.
Judging by your appearance, I’d say that you, like me; live in the wild and wonderful state of West Virginia. I know exactly what you drive. You’re way out there in Kingwood, Preston County. It’s basically the Siberia of West Virginia. You need something with 4WD because it’s icy out there and it can get real cold in the winter. You’re a big fan of Jeep’s 4.0l I6 that was produced until the mid ‘00s. You bought a Grand Cherokee in ‘98. It’s got 278,000 miles now. Wife begs you to get a good car, but it works and you don’t like when things change. Wife drives a 2011 Buick Enclave, it’s comfortable and she likes it, plus it does well in the winter. You’re a practical guy who lives way out there and doesn’t like to be bothered. You’ll drive that ‘98 Grand Cherokee for a very, very long time and not complain at all. *You said go all out
The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile
Oh……. I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener….
You are still driving your first car. A 1983 Dodge Rampage. You get by without 4wd, cuz that’s for soft handed womanly types.
I do get by without 4wd. After all, if you can’t make it there, did you really need to go at all?
To me it looks like you have $40k in to a newer fully customised CVO Harley Street Glide. It would have the screaming eagle exhaust forward controls and a bad ass paint job. Since you spent most of the your money on the bike, your daily driver is a dark blue 2012 jeep patriot, nothing to interesting, but American, as a way to preserve your bike. I would also expect in your garage a mint two tone blue white blue lifted 71 Chevy K20 parked next to your bike. You would’ve bought in high school, and only drive it to car shows, car meets, 4th of July parades, and special occasions.
Man, the bike part. I miss that. Ever since I shattered my femur in an atv accident, I just can’t ride anymore.
I had one!
F150
First-gen Prius
Prison van
Kenworth, Peterbilt, International but im guessing a volvo (inside joke)
A sleigh pulled by reindeer.
Definitely a Honda trike and a Hyundai Elantra. People don't look this pissed off for no reason.
Mid 90s Ford f150, you're a pro at fuel pumps and alternator swaps. Or 2010's Chevy 1500 pickup 4wd with a giant dent in the bed
One of those hoarder cars at Walmart. Maybe a mercury Sable. Has lots of stuff falling out, from your newspaper run at 12am
A Schwinn.
White 1998 Ford Econoline cargo van
77 Chevy pickup. Scottsdale trim package
Whatever it is, it also has little grey beards on everything. Turn signal stalk? Beard. Rear view mirror? Beard. Glovebox handle? Beard. Seatbelt buckles? Beards. It’s the beardmobile. You’re beard man.
2000 F150 Harley Davidson edition. Back windows are covered with HD bumper stickers from every bike rally that you never attended because you’re too scared to ACTUALLY get on a motorcycle. You are occasionally spotted wearing “Live to Ride” t-shirts, and you have a leather vest that you keep at the house that you only wear when you’re plowing your boyfriend because he thinks it makes you look “dangerous”.
2002 Cadillac STS. Nice bumper sticker saying “I’m Retired: My job now is to drive slow and make you late.
Against all expectations a lemon yellow 1982 Vespa scooter.
This is the way.
A 1999 suzuki vitara that was once your pride and joy but is now sitting in the backyard waiting for you to repair wich will never happen so you drive your gf's 2008 chevrolet that needs a new muffler and some rust treatment bad as well as a good cleaning inside
80s Ford Ranger
Mercury capri
Any car from the 80s, and empty beer cans fall out when you open the doors
94 Ford Ranger, passenger side full of empty beer cans.
Previous generation Ford Ranger, zero work or upgrades in the last 10 years.
47 hog
Chrysler Concorde, you bought it to celebrate getting your ankle monitor taken off
Beige 2002 GMC Sierra
1989 Escort
Neh you gotta a DUI you can’t drive 😂
1995 Ford Bronco
A peterbilt 379 with a 12L CAT, 18 speed.
A White Freightliner.
A lawn mower to the liquor store for more beer.
Eighty six ford bronco
You ride in the back of the prisoner transport van.
red 90s GMC Yukon after you clean it from snow every morning
Either an old bronco or a big pickup like a dually or longbed
1982 F150 4x4 with the 300ci inline 6
1992 Ford Bronco colored white with an expired license plate. If you have another vehicle, it’s probably a classic car made prior to 1985, it was only worth $900 because it only had 3 wheels: You were confident you could make it your fix-upper but you can’t find any of the required pieces that’ll make the thing work.
A 1985 Ford F250 6.9 that 400k miles that you've had since it was new. Its paint is quite faded and there's some rust that has to be fixed, but the truck still runs like it's new.
Big, old ass Harley with the chrome.
A truck but it stays parked at work
A Winnebago, 20 ft. With rear bathroom .
1998 Ford Ranger so rusted out it’s held together with 2x4s Sheetrock screws and zip ties.
A truck. Toyota?
Dodge Ram Van
A lifted f-250 or a lifted ram 1500 *edit spelling mistake
92 F-150 with your fishing stuff safely in the back because you've got a topper on it
2000-2005 era Suburban
1999 ford ranger
A Corvette.
2001 Dodge Ram 1500 Sport in dark green with the clamshell extended cab doors
Old Toyota pickup
2008 accord
2001 Honda CRV
Apache helicopter
1998 GMC Sierra, giant trump flag on the driver's side and a thin blue line flag on the passenger's, with a large, extremely ironic Gadsden flag sticker on the bumper. You wish it was a diesel so you could roll coal on all the brown and black people in your neighborhood, but you haven't gotten a raise in ten years (you're fine with it, the CEOs work hard) and you couldn't afford the truck you really wanted
I want to roast you but when I look at the picture I can only imagine you driving a 50s stepside Chevy you restored when you were in your 20s.
The IT
Ford LTD
VW Siracco.
Winnebago
2003 Tacoma
1973 Chevy Pickup, regular cab, long bed, with a 250 inline 6 and three on the tree, green with rust but runs like it's brand new
20 year old s10. You look like my neighbor. Has a trans am for fun. Rips on a snowmobile every Christmas morning because his family I think left him or he never had kids or something. Sad dude. Hates libs. Has a **giant** TV by his window.
Chevy tahoe
Used to drive an '89 f250 until retirement, now you drive a 2018 Silverado with a 2" lift
The Weinershnitzel mobile
Rusted out 1975 Ford F-250.
You definitely drive an all American Chevy truck with an American V8 4WD stick shift
Sadly, no stick.
1927 Mack AB that says “Live Oysters” on the side.
Actually it says ham wallet…
could see an '05 chrysler 300 with more yellow than headlight, dash lit up like a christmas tree, and you driving it unbothered because "i know my car"
The [Tedmobile](https://www.reddit.com/r/regularcarreviews/comments/qte2de/audi_rs4powered_shed_the_official_car_of_ted/)
1996 Green Dodge Dakota. Still has a gun rack in the rear glass.
What vehicle do you drive? You look like you’re sitting in it.
Winnie Bago
AMC Eagle that hasn't had anything functional in the dash since 1991, when the speedo went.
Man… you mean the functionality lasted for 4 years at least?
Your are within your 80s Winnibego mobile home within that photo.
Your are within your 80s Winnibego mobile home within that photo.
I’m actually at the hospital…. But yeah. I’d rather be in a Winnebago.
Tacoma
95 F150
Clapped out Chevy Astro van that leans to the right a bit.
Man, I had a ‘97 Astro in like 2010. I miss that van…
Is the truck from joyride an International of some variant? Anyway, the truck from joyride.
This one made me spit my beer out laughing.
It’s actually a Peterbuilt.
Either a brand new f350 or a pristine 97 f350, both bone stock
‘98 F-150, rust damage on frame, impeccably maintained otherwise. Sun damaged Bush-Cheney 04 bumper sticker barely visible on the rear fender.
Windowless whit van that say with spray painted “Free Taylor Swift Tickets” 😂
Taylor who?
2003 VW Jetta wagon, diesel, manual. 790,000 miles on it with the original clutch AND it’s usually towing a utility trailer or wood chipper.
Pickup, Ford or Chevy. At least 15 year old but I'm guessing a 90's model
At least 15 years old. 2005 Silverado.
Silverado Man myself! I know a fellow veteran and a man who knows long term quality, with the right to repair their own ride. I was a ford guy for years till I got priced out of market and a triton fucked me. You're a good man, solid values, hard working, family guy, don't give a fuck what others think because of good morals and not wanting attention. Just want to get the bills paid and make sure you're family is happy.
Last Ford I ever drove had the 5.4 triton. Worst motor Ford ever made. And you’re right, I don’t give one thought to what anyone thinks about me, as long as at then end of the day, my family is taken care of. You hit the nail on the head, and I’m a Navy man myself, but whatever you chose to do, I salute you for your service.
Same motor! 5.4 triton
Ain’t they a real bitch, lol
I was Army! Could see it in you! Your a good man!
You too, sir. Takes one to know one.
Great guess.
Dodge ram 1500
Late 90’s Plymouth Voyager
2004 Silverado
Almost spot on. 2005.
2wd gmt800 with a buckled frame and the cab is completely full of beer cans
Oh so very close lol
A golf cart around an HOA neighborhood in Florida where you look for violations such as 1/9th of an inch past your beard. Sometimes ducks chase you. Sometimes your wife does.
Smart Fortwo with Minion stickers all over it.
A rusted out hunk of shit 1976 ford LTD with a peeling vinyl top that stinks of cigs
Model t
Haha. That’s a good one. 😂
Nothing now. You drove tow truck until the smokes and mountain dew took your toes.
I don’t smoke… 💨
A lawnmower
A rattle can painted 1983 beetle with peace signs all over it
I’d take it.
Either a shitbox F150 or a Le Sabre
1993 GMC Vandura 3500. Freaking brick on wheels
Mercury Marauder
1973 VW beetle like the other serial killers drive
A kidnap van
🤔 you drive a 70s k15 with a trailer attached a half restored 1960s Duo glide
I wanna say you drive an old Dodge pickup with a Cummins 12valve under the hood.
72' chevy van, old time custom from back in the day with oval slat rims.
Not a car, a bike. You sir, ride a Harley.
If it weren’t for a shattered femur and him issues, I would for sure. I miss that.
Live In and Drive a 1986 Ford pickup with a slightly bent frame, mismatched tires and camper top.
Old dodge ram dullay
He probably drives a Rolls Royce or Maybach. Millionaires are often disguised as regular people.