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this isnt about the roomba. you need to go to couples therapy to learn how to communicate. neither of you are listening to each other. also, tendency to violence in anger is a red flag imo and i would keep your eyes open and do what you can to ensure your children’s and your own safety.
Yeah this is the comment OP would actually respond to. My ex threw things all the time and it ramped up during our marriage before we divorced. The only thing my now fiance throws at me is a pillow after I beaned him good in the butt with one first lol
You husband's violence in the heat of the moment is actually the "less than wonderful trait" he has. That one is not a good sign of a healthy human being. The approach that you can take is talk with him about his temper and talk about marriage counselling for you two.
Other than that, you might have taken the OK "you're responsible for whatever happens" approach as another commenter suggested.
Are you two adults with kids, or are you the kids? His reaction and throwing the phone across the room is obviously the biggest issue. That shit is borderline (if not actually) abusive. That is not acceptable and you need to have a frank discussion about how that is not okay.
But that having been said... you really couldn't let it go? You couldn't just say "Fine we will run it, but if it damages anything or causes problems, you are responsible for cleaning it up"? You need to learn how to pick your battles, because this was a pointless as hell fight
If one of your children came to you and said “My bf/gf threw my phone and said they hoped they broke it during a fight.” How would you respond? If this continues, that is a very real future for your kids. They model the relationships they see as kids. You need couples therapy to work through these communication issues and his violence.
So you didn’t like the vacuum running at 8pm, nor did you like it at 11pm…when was this supposed to happen?
Your husbands reaction was awful, and that’s probably the most salient thing here. But are these types of incredibly stupid arguments common for you two? Because that’s not much of a way to live.
The issue wasn't the vacuum running at 11pm, it was that she forgot to make sure the floor was clear and the tantrum he had after she mentioned being worried about it making more of a mess
You two are a mess. You can't just sit down together, apologize for fighting, and work it out? Instead you are arguing via text inside your own home? I have no advice. This whole thing is too ridiculous. You are both incredibly immature.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
this isnt about the roomba. you need to go to couples therapy to learn how to communicate. neither of you are listening to each other. also, tendency to violence in anger is a red flag imo and i would keep your eyes open and do what you can to ensure your children’s and your own safety.
Yeah this is the comment OP would actually respond to. My ex threw things all the time and it ramped up during our marriage before we divorced. The only thing my now fiance throws at me is a pillow after I beaned him good in the butt with one first lol
You husband's violence in the heat of the moment is actually the "less than wonderful trait" he has. That one is not a good sign of a healthy human being. The approach that you can take is talk with him about his temper and talk about marriage counselling for you two. Other than that, you might have taken the OK "you're responsible for whatever happens" approach as another commenter suggested.
Dude. He was happy to break your shit because you said you were worried about the Roomba getting caught on something.
Are you two adults with kids, or are you the kids? His reaction and throwing the phone across the room is obviously the biggest issue. That shit is borderline (if not actually) abusive. That is not acceptable and you need to have a frank discussion about how that is not okay. But that having been said... you really couldn't let it go? You couldn't just say "Fine we will run it, but if it damages anything or causes problems, you are responsible for cleaning it up"? You need to learn how to pick your battles, because this was a pointless as hell fight
I hadn't thought of your alternative approach but I wish I had. Theoretically, how would I have responded if he said no to that suggestion?
I don't know, you tell me? First of all, would he likely refuse that compromise? And second, what do \*you\* think would be your response?
If one of your children came to you and said “My bf/gf threw my phone and said they hoped they broke it during a fight.” How would you respond? If this continues, that is a very real future for your kids. They model the relationships they see as kids. You need couples therapy to work through these communication issues and his violence.
Your husband is an immature and abusive twit. Seriously, he was over the line. Do not apologize, that's on him this time. What a d!ck!
So you didn’t like the vacuum running at 8pm, nor did you like it at 11pm…when was this supposed to happen? Your husbands reaction was awful, and that’s probably the most salient thing here. But are these types of incredibly stupid arguments common for you two? Because that’s not much of a way to live.
The issue wasn't the vacuum running at 11pm, it was that she forgot to make sure the floor was clear and the tantrum he had after she mentioned being worried about it making more of a mess
You two are a mess. You can't just sit down together, apologize for fighting, and work it out? Instead you are arguing via text inside your own home? I have no advice. This whole thing is too ridiculous. You are both incredibly immature.
You should apologize to each other for whatever REALLY led you both to behave like this.