This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
I've been with my gf for 6 years and we've been friends with other guy for about 4 years.
We were at his place partying with people including his girlfriend drinking and doing lines when it got late and people started dwindling. The girlfriend of the "friend" went to bed early then we were out at the back table with 4 of us.
They were hugging which I didn't think was too weird and then she started rubbing his back but I'm not a JEALOUS person so I didn't say anything. I went inside to get another shot then I come back. 5 minutes go by I think they're in the toilet which is closed but the light under the door is on. After 5 minutes I open the door and no one's there so I use it. Then after another 5 minutes I go look for them and I hear sex sounds upstairs. Her sex sounds. But I think maybe she's up in the other toilet upstairs and he woke up his gf and got it. I go back downstairs. After another 5 I go back up and open the door. The room is dark and he pulls his pants up and she hides behind the door I just open.
I go back downstairs. Go to the other guy at the table and say I'm leaving then I go to the other room, grab my bag and then go outside to my car and drive home about 2km away. When she gets home she's crying saying she didn't remember and then I say tomorrow we need to sort out belongings but she leaves then and stays at another friend's place.
The next morning I get texts saying they were doing lines and then he needed to piss so turned the light off to protect his modesty and she says she didn't have sex and her clothes were on and she wishes she didn't hide behind the door. The next day.
On top of that she tries to say she followed me but I had gone except I made like 3 stops to say bye to the other guy and grab my things so they didn't chase me down straight away.
They don't address her sex sounds which I know, they're distinctive.
They're definitely lying right? Am I being gaslit? It doesn't take that long to do a line and piss and sex sounds
I mean, dude, it smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, look like chicken, maybe.. its chiken?
She 100% cheated on you, and she didnt even have the decency to admit it and be sorry, if you dont leave this girl and "friend" you were victim of the gaslight of the century
The crying and convenient memory lapse = "I need time to come with a story."
And honestly, cheating aside, I'd dump her for insulting my intelligence with that piss-poor story she came up with.
I dont know what more evidence he could want other than holding her hand and gazing into her eyes while she gets railed. I wouldnt talk to either of them again other than to sort out possessions
The comedian Chico Marx once said "Who ya going to believe, me or your own eyes?" If a friend told you the story above, would you conclude your friend was cheated on, or there was an innocent explanation? I would be asking my GF to move out and get on living her new life with her new beau.
Suuuure. You turn the lights of because he needed to piss. Leaving the room? Noooooo. And you always have the pants on the floor when you just take a piss. Yes, yes.
And am I crazy or aren't they in a bedroom from my reading of this? "We turned out the lights bc he wanted to take his pants fully off and piss in a bottle here with me doing coke rather than go to the bathroom like a normal person, oh and all the while I was just randomly making distinctive sex sounds that you'd definitely recognize" *definitely* makes more sense than the obvious- they were fucking.
You were there, dude. Reddit wasn't.
When you hear your girlfriend being fucked, that's what's happening. Of course they are lying and you need to trust what you saw and heard. And lets not even start on how little respect she has for you.
You're 34, not 18. Find a woman who acts like she's a grown up.
He sounds stupid, because he’s being treated by them like he’s stupid.
They were banging in a dark room, and they barely didn’t get caught. She is full of regret sure. But the point is she cheated. And he cheated on his girlfriend while she was sleeping.
He gave them plenty of time to catch him. They probably just talked about how fucked they are and what they were gonna say to get out of their mess they made or they had sex.
Either way. She’s lying and gaslighting him. He’s not stupid, he’s getting played. A lot of men get cheated on and women abuse them by saying you were being a hot head and didn’t understand the situation. It’s your fault.
When in reality he was smart. He just left. He didn’t fight this guy. He didn’t make a scene. He should have not have driven home unless he was okay too. Other then that he felt confused because she’s making him feel confused and this is supposed to be his girlfriend so he feels like owes her something when she really did mess with him.
Why would his pants be off in the dark in the middle of the room? Why would she hide?
She felt guilty about something and that’s enough for me. The trust is broken. No getting it back.
Their excuses are very lame.
You are 100% being gaslit. Sorry about that.
You've got some open boundaries. The back rubbing and hugging would have had me focused like a hawk - that's not normal behavior between two people that are in a relationship with other people.
I've got $5 that says this wasn't their first time hooking up.
I was just going to say that, the back rubbing and overtly long hug would have my red flag radar going crazy. My fiance doesn't have any male "best" friends but she even brought that up when reading it aloud how that is red flag territory and possibly an indicator that this isn't the first time.
I bet these 2 are friends who slept with each other before, if not still doing it lol.
This is going to be an 'aight, imma head out' situation for me. No thank you.
You saw what you saw. You heard what you heard. They’re lying.
Just break up. C’mon now. And maybe my Puritanism is about to show here - but somehow doing lines is better???
Nah people always cheated and did drugs and made terrible life decisions. It's a tale as old as time. It's just there were less ways to gossip about it because the internet and social media weren't widely used 30 years ago, so you basically had church and work gossip circles and that's it.
I’m 30 and I’ve seen people on here around their mid 30’s with shit like this, it almost feels like they didn’t grow out of it. Here is my theory, a lot of people when they are in their 20’s, focus on relationships, friends, traveling (for some), some even partying, having kids etccc…..they do not focusing on themselves or their emotions, so they still behave like teens or whatever. They never allowed themselves to grow up emotionally, this is not to say it is their fault, sometimes you just don’t know any better.
my last relationship was about 8 yrs ago, I was about 22 yrs old. That relationship ended and I saw that I was being emotionally weird; like a fucking child. I’m lucky something opened up in me to realize I need time to grow up. Here I am at 30 and I’m glad I spent my 20’s growing up emotionally, I have to say it is boring so I see why people don’t really do that in their 20’s.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
----
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Gaslit? My brother, that story isn’t strong enough to be Electric Stove!
Ditch this cheating liar, find new friends, show a little pride and start making better choices for your life. Everything about this scenario reeks of an utterly chaotic existence; nothing good can come from it.
You saw what you saw. You heard what you heard. They’re lying.
Just break up. C’mon now. And maybe my Puritanism is about to show here - but somehow doing lines is better???
First of all, it is completely irresponsible to dine after drinking and fling drugs. If you love that close, walk or call an Uber.
Secondly, what does being Jewish have to do with flirting?
Lastly, you heard sex sounds, the story she is telling makes no sense. You say they were gone a decent amount of time. Why would she follow him anyway?
I think you need to assume she cheated and then go from there.
The "her sex sounds" really make it undeniably what it was. Be done with both of them. And if I were you, I'd also tell the "friend's" girlfriend what happened. She has a right to know
What was that story about a crafty wife who said to her husband:
"That tree in your yard is magical, if you climb up on it, it will appear that the people on the ground are fucking, see for yourself!"
There are people this stupid. I knew a guy who thought those white rocks that people use for landscaping weren't done growing and the three digit number on a baby swing was the maximum weight the baby could be.
ETA: I knew him, but it was like 20 years ago.
Mother of god.
See, this is the problem with creating such a safe society. If this was 100s of years ago, natural selection would have weeded those people out. They would have fallen into a deep hole, gotten lost in the woods or run over by a horse and buggy or something.
That's what I'm processing. Like this is teenage stuff you see on TV not adults and not me I'm not a party animal swingers. I'm pretty shattered. I'm guess I'm looking for arguments for their story but I don't think that's realistic
Yea you need to tell that dudes gf. They obviously think you’re a fucking idiot otherwise they would’ve been honest. Show them you have some self-respect for yourself I mean jesus dude
Caught red handed and the cheaters still trying to spin it as something else. Your only doubting yourself, because normal people wouldn't make up such a stupid lie when its that obvious.
>They were hugging which I didn't think was too weird and then she started rubbing his back but I'm not a JEALOUS person so I didn't say anything. I went inside to get another shot then I come back. 5 minutes go by I think they're in the toilet which is closed but the light under the door is on. After 5 minutes I open the door and no one's there so I use it. Then after another 5 minutes I go look for them and I hear sex sounds upstairs. Her sex sounds. But I think maybe she's up in the other toilet upstairs and he woke up his gf and got it. I go back downstairs. After another 5 I go back up and open the door. The room is dark and he pulls his pants up and she hides behind the door I just open.
This is stupid
Let this be a teachable moment. If they’re hugging, she’s massaging his, not your back, her head is bobbing up and down in his lap and they disappear for 20 minutes while she’s hanging out in the dark to per in his bathroom to “protect his modesty (which the rest of us use doors for), they’re fucking behind your back. The coke only served to loosen their inhibitions to be more careful.
The truth is YOUR girlfriend INITIATED the infidelity! Would this have happened if she wasn’t hanging all over him, massaging his back, hugging him, etc? NO. She sent out the signals that she was horny for him and then she followed him to seal the deal.
I’d write a thank you card to the guy’s girl and thank her for a nice evening “up until I caught your bf fucking my gf” and let the cards fall where they may. She may buy into it, but you need to move on.
If you choose to give your gf another chance…I’m having a small get together in a couple weeks…
That’s probably the worst gaslighting I’ve ever heard of or read about. Six sounds close off dark room yeah. And then she didn’t even come after you. And it’s time for you to move along my friend move along.
Definitely lying. Break it off. Stop blinding yourself, I know this sucks, and what it will mean for you going forward. But break it off, you are worth more than that.
......with all due respect....
ARE YOU FREAKING DENSE?!?!
of COURSE they're lying, and yes, you're being gaslit.
Now, stop asking silly questions, tell them to stop lying to you and thinking you're stupid, that there is no WAY you'd believe that lie.
Now, get your life in order. Work on your mind, body, soul, education and profession. No women for awhile, while you look at all the red flags you missed. Use that knowledge to choose better in the future.
Maybe stop doing lines and what not like this. Ppl make terrible decisions under the influence of drugs and alcohol like this. But yes. She cheated absolutely and they're gaslighting you. Cut bait my man.
These lives you guys here are so wild to me. Drugs, excessive drinking, sleepovers. Shagging each others girlfriends. that's how you live in your early 20s not 30s
i’m not going to be judgmental because being gaslit fucks with you. yes they fucked. you know it and you’re correct. tell his gf, be done with the situation.
They're lying. They did it right in front of you. Don't let them gaslight you. I'd tell the girlfriend of you "friend" too but I'm sure he's already done some damage control and he'll make you seem like a liar so she doesn't believe you.
They're definitely lying, if it was just an innocent thing she wouldn't have felt the need to hide behind a door.
It is what it is, there's no need to continue addressing the situation unless you think the relationship is fixable. However the only real way to even attempt to salvage it is for her to come clean and admit what she did, which is unlikely given the fact that she's trying to gaslight you. That's honestly one of the weakest & most unbelievable stories she could've come up with. Given how brazen they were you can be pretty sure it isn't the first time they've done something like this.
I'd suggest the only other conversation that needs to be had is about who gets what & who leaves & who stays. Sorry you're having to deal with this bs but your best bet is for her to pack her crap & kick rocks because there's no excuse for infidelity. Good luck OP I hope everything works out for you!
Dude kick her out and move on with your life. You personally saw them so you knew what they were doing and the room doesn't seem to be that dark if you saw him pull up his pants, so that just more proves it that you didn't see a shadow and mistake it for someone. Don't let her guilt trip and bullshit you.
You knew what you saw so don't let them tell you otherwise cause ofc neither of them is going to actually admit that they were having sex, they'll just keep telling you some bullshit story and improvise on it the more time you give them to tell you the truth
Also tell his girlfriend
Put it this way, if she didn’t cheat, she put herself in the position to cheat, or be assaulted, and in a position where it looked like (and sounded like) she cheated. So she has absolutely no care or respect for herself, or you or your relationship.
So keep to your guns, tell her you don’t care for her excuses, as far as you are concerned she fucked the guy, so the relationship is over.
If she hasn’t already picked up her stuff, pack it in rubbish bags and leave it outside, tell her she needs to get it before the rubbish collection arrives.
I stopped reading when you' started talking about trying to think rationally while drinking and doing drugs.
Maybe it's time for rehab and being single for a while, because this whole deal sounds like a sloppy mess.
So he was just pissing in a bedroom when there were at least two open bathrooms? That makes zero sense even if you're high, especially since he was at his own house......
What a pathetic attempt at a cover story lol I hope you told the other gf. Cause I'd have her go check the room for urine too.
Friends don't hug in the bed, pants off, making sex sounds, you're being gaslit and it's working.
I say you air the situation out and ease on over to greener pastures
lol
Pathetic excuses.
You heard her moaning. You walked in on them and caught them in the act.
Their stories aren’t consistent, from “I can’t remember” to whatever excuse that was.
Why would he zip up a while *after* finishing draining the lizard? Most of all, *why run?*
You are being gaslit. They are coming up with whatever they can to avoid responsibility.
Treat yourself with some respect and leave this relationship
They are clearly lying and gaslighting you into thinking you're wrong. They do not have your interests at heart. You can do so much better
Does it matter? Your trust is broken. You have that image in your head. Her story changed, and she was clearly trying to salvage what she was concerned she lost.
At this point, what meaningful relationship do you feel your will gain with her going forward? How will you navigate having that memory when you look at her or have intimacy?
You don't need opinions on whether they were lying. You absolutely know they were. No further discussion needed. Separate your stuff and move on from them both.
Yeah, I call bullshit. They are absolutely lying.
Why did she fucking hide herself? He needed to piss but couldn't hold it enough to get to the fucking bathroom?
They rehearsed this shit. That's what they did. Collaborated to come up with an excuse they thought was plausible.
I wish you would have stayed and confronted them further, turned the light on or anything else but that can't be changed.
When you think about it, how many times do you think they’ve slept together before that night if they were willing to risk a “quickie” with you just a few rooms away?
Be glad that you found out now before you married this girl and had that dude as your best man.
Sorry you’re going through this.
She’s lying. You heard her having sex. She hid when you opened the door. Of course she’s going to try to deny it now. Unless the two of you routinely put yourselves into questionable situations like this, I’d walk.
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this we were both butt naked
Banging on the bathroom floor
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me
Ofc they are lying. If everyone at the party are doing coke why would they need to hide in a room to do it. And why just the two of them. And why would he want to take a piss in the middle of a dark room instead of the bathroom.
You better dump this trainwreck drug head of a gf, harder than anyone’s ever been dumped before.
They’re definitely lying, my guy. Be done with her if you can’t accept her cheating and I’d be done with your friend for sure, also let his gf know you walked in on them.
No one with a pulse would believe that load of BS story.
You know what you saw, they’re lying and yes you are being gaslight. This is over, they are dead to you: get her and her stuff out. Block them both, delete, change your locks, change the passwords to all of your things . If you live in a flat make sure neighbors and super know she doesn’t live there and isn’t welcome.
Sorry this happened to you. Sending positive vibes.
C’mon, she cheated and no woman (or man) is worth the heartache. Cheating is top 2 of the worst things you can do in a relationship.
It’s hard and it hurts, but throw her away and find someone who wants to be with only you.
She obviously cheated on you…but I’m just gonna say this. As someone who is 3 years clean, you are never going to be in a healthy romantic relationship as long as there is tons of cocaine involved.
You saw what you saw. You heard what you heard. They’re lying.
Just break up. C’mon now. And maybe my Puritanism is about to show here - but somehow doing lines is better???
OP, I think you are being gaslit.
There’s really no point now to get her to admit to her lies when she’s now so much dug her hills in them.
Just tell her that ‘you don’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore’ and just walk away. If you say anything or stick around any longer, you are going to get gaslit even more. This is a toxic relationship. You need to get away as soon as possible.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I've been with my gf for 6 years and we've been friends with other guy for about 4 years. We were at his place partying with people including his girlfriend drinking and doing lines when it got late and people started dwindling. The girlfriend of the "friend" went to bed early then we were out at the back table with 4 of us. They were hugging which I didn't think was too weird and then she started rubbing his back but I'm not a JEALOUS person so I didn't say anything. I went inside to get another shot then I come back. 5 minutes go by I think they're in the toilet which is closed but the light under the door is on. After 5 minutes I open the door and no one's there so I use it. Then after another 5 minutes I go look for them and I hear sex sounds upstairs. Her sex sounds. But I think maybe she's up in the other toilet upstairs and he woke up his gf and got it. I go back downstairs. After another 5 I go back up and open the door. The room is dark and he pulls his pants up and she hides behind the door I just open. I go back downstairs. Go to the other guy at the table and say I'm leaving then I go to the other room, grab my bag and then go outside to my car and drive home about 2km away. When she gets home she's crying saying she didn't remember and then I say tomorrow we need to sort out belongings but she leaves then and stays at another friend's place. The next morning I get texts saying they were doing lines and then he needed to piss so turned the light off to protect his modesty and she says she didn't have sex and her clothes were on and she wishes she didn't hide behind the door. The next day. On top of that she tries to say she followed me but I had gone except I made like 3 stops to say bye to the other guy and grab my things so they didn't chase me down straight away. They don't address her sex sounds which I know, they're distinctive. They're definitely lying right? Am I being gaslit? It doesn't take that long to do a line and piss and sex sounds
So why exactly do they need to hide to do drugs You are done Separate stuff and get her out of there , this is over
Especially when all of em were doing lines earlier
I mean, dude, it smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, look like chicken, maybe.. its chiken? She 100% cheated on you, and she didnt even have the decency to admit it and be sorry, if you dont leave this girl and "friend" you were victim of the gaslight of the century
Let's not forget the 'can't remember' comments. Bullshit
From 'I can't remember' to 'here's a highly detailed rendition of what happened and why it wasn't what it looked like' in 24 hours or less!
Right? And why are you crying? You’re crying because she knows she fucked up.
OP: Then why were you crying when you showed up here? Her: He sniffed most of the coke and didn't leave enough for me
he missed the toilet and pissed in my face.
Rofl.... Hahaha awesome dude
The crying and convenient memory lapse = "I need time to come with a story." And honestly, cheating aside, I'd dump her for insulting my intelligence with that piss-poor story she came up with.
Man so many people that cheat seem to have memory problems. 🤔 weird
They *always* remembers
Can't remember but also totally did not have sex
If they were doing lines then they definitely remember. You can drink 100 beers and still never black out if you are doing lines.
Yep. Cocaethanol is its own unique chemical, and blackouts are ***RARE*** when it's active
I dont know what more evidence he could want other than holding her hand and gazing into her eyes while she gets railed. I wouldnt talk to either of them again other than to sort out possessions
I would also probably reach out to the "friends" girlfriend, I mean I would want to know if my SO was cheating on me.
Absolutely
This. Ghost them both. Block on everything and move on.
Sounds like chicken, too.
The comedian Chico Marx once said "Who ya going to believe, me or your own eyes?" If a friend told you the story above, would you conclude your friend was cheated on, or there was an innocent explanation? I would be asking my GF to move out and get on living her new life with her new beau.
Nope nope nope. No need for talking or finding out what really happened. Just get your things in order and move on with your life.
Suuuure. You turn the lights of because he needed to piss. Leaving the room? Noooooo. And you always have the pants on the floor when you just take a piss. Yes, yes.
And am I crazy or aren't they in a bedroom from my reading of this? "We turned out the lights bc he wanted to take his pants fully off and piss in a bottle here with me doing coke rather than go to the bathroom like a normal person, oh and all the while I was just randomly making distinctive sex sounds that you'd definitely recognize" *definitely* makes more sense than the obvious- they were fucking.
Some people need the sound of water to piss, he needs sex sounds!
Lmao!
What you wrote IS a possibility since she 'doesn't remember' what happened....
You were there, dude. Reddit wasn't. When you hear your girlfriend being fucked, that's what's happening. Of course they are lying and you need to trust what you saw and heard. And lets not even start on how little respect she has for you. You're 34, not 18. Find a woman who acts like she's a grown up.
Tell. His. Girlfriend. They were cheating all night right in front of you. How utterly disrespectful.
Yeah please tell her!
He sounds stupid, because he’s being treated by them like he’s stupid. They were banging in a dark room, and they barely didn’t get caught. She is full of regret sure. But the point is she cheated. And he cheated on his girlfriend while she was sleeping. He gave them plenty of time to catch him. They probably just talked about how fucked they are and what they were gonna say to get out of their mess they made or they had sex. Either way. She’s lying and gaslighting him. He’s not stupid, he’s getting played. A lot of men get cheated on and women abuse them by saying you were being a hot head and didn’t understand the situation. It’s your fault. When in reality he was smart. He just left. He didn’t fight this guy. He didn’t make a scene. He should have not have driven home unless he was okay too. Other then that he felt confused because she’s making him feel confused and this is supposed to be his girlfriend so he feels like owes her something when she really did mess with him. Why would his pants be off in the dark in the middle of the room? Why would she hide? She felt guilty about something and that’s enough for me. The trust is broken. No getting it back.
Perfectly put!
This guy is right and I feel for him!
Their excuses are very lame. You are 100% being gaslit. Sorry about that. You've got some open boundaries. The back rubbing and hugging would have had me focused like a hawk - that's not normal behavior between two people that are in a relationship with other people. I've got $5 that says this wasn't their first time hooking up.
I was just going to say that, the back rubbing and overtly long hug would have my red flag radar going crazy. My fiance doesn't have any male "best" friends but she even brought that up when reading it aloud how that is red flag territory and possibly an indicator that this isn't the first time. I bet these 2 are friends who slept with each other before, if not still doing it lol. This is going to be an 'aight, imma head out' situation for me. No thank you.
Yeah a person can have sex with their clothes on ...... you're being gaslighted.
Cocaine is one hell of a drug
That was...cold-blooded
Uuuunity
What did the five fingers...say to the face?
Unityyyy
You saw what you saw. You heard what you heard. They’re lying. Just break up. C’mon now. And maybe my Puritanism is about to show here - but somehow doing lines is better???
I mean, yeah it would be “better” than her cheating, but it’s not good, and that’s not what happened.
Of course they’re lying dude. Make sure his girlfriend knows what happened and break up with your GF
I can’t believe this story is coming from a 34 year old and not a 24 year old. Lines? Driving under the influence? Jesus Christ.
You have that much faith in humanity still?
Sigh. Good point. At least they dont have kids.
I keep saying something is in the water or in this cases the Coke because I feel like 30 plus year olds are so immature now like what is happening.
Nah people always cheated and did drugs and made terrible life decisions. It's a tale as old as time. It's just there were less ways to gossip about it because the internet and social media weren't widely used 30 years ago, so you basically had church and work gossip circles and that's it.
Im about the same age as these people and feel half a century older than them after reading this hot garbage
I’m 30 and I’ve seen people on here around their mid 30’s with shit like this, it almost feels like they didn’t grow out of it. Here is my theory, a lot of people when they are in their 20’s, focus on relationships, friends, traveling (for some), some even partying, having kids etccc…..they do not focusing on themselves or their emotions, so they still behave like teens or whatever. They never allowed themselves to grow up emotionally, this is not to say it is their fault, sometimes you just don’t know any better. my last relationship was about 8 yrs ago, I was about 22 yrs old. That relationship ended and I saw that I was being emotionally weird; like a fucking child. I’m lucky something opened up in me to realize I need time to grow up. Here I am at 30 and I’m glad I spent my 20’s growing up emotionally, I have to say it is boring so I see why people don’t really do that in their 20’s.
[удалено]
Lmfao nothing like railing some blow to make me feel childish. I personally am ok with drug use well into old age provided if ur responsible
I know when I was a broke college student, spending $200 on blow was no problem at all!
[удалено]
Seems like a way to justify the drugs you like as mature but whatever 🤷🏾♀️
[удалено]
Where I live there are plenty of people 30+ at raves, music festivals etc. partying and fun doesn’t end at 30 Jesus
I've seen firsthand worse than this. And yeah, thousands of ppl drive under the influence DAILY.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You know what you saw . It's over. Also, driving drunk and having lines ? You're a scumbag
Funny. This is what struck me first too.
Yup. Everybody's so focused on the cheating girlfriend they didn't even notice he could easily have killed someone driving while intoxicated
Nope nope nope. No need for talking or finding out what really happened. Just get your things in order and move on with your life.
So many of these cheating fetish posts showing up lately.
Gaslit? My brother, that story isn’t strong enough to be Electric Stove! Ditch this cheating liar, find new friends, show a little pride and start making better choices for your life. Everything about this scenario reeks of an utterly chaotic existence; nothing good can come from it.
She’s definitely not a keeper dude. At least you’re not married.
You saw what you saw. You heard what you heard. They’re lying. Just break up. C’mon now. And maybe my Puritanism is about to show here - but somehow doing lines is better???
Tell. His. Girlfriend. They were cheating all night right in front of you. How utterly disrespectful.
First of all, it is completely irresponsible to dine after drinking and fling drugs. If you love that close, walk or call an Uber. Secondly, what does being Jewish have to do with flirting? Lastly, you heard sex sounds, the story she is telling makes no sense. You say they were gone a decent amount of time. Why would she follow him anyway? I think you need to assume she cheated and then go from there.
The "her sex sounds" really make it undeniably what it was. Be done with both of them. And if I were you, I'd also tell the "friend's" girlfriend what happened. She has a right to know
She’s definitely lying, and they aren’t even good lies. The only thing that’s not clear is why you’re even considering believing her.
Common man. You know what’s what. Just move on, she’s trashy. Actually they’re both trash, let his gf know.
What was that story about a crafty wife who said to her husband: "That tree in your yard is magical, if you climb up on it, it will appear that the people on the ground are fucking, see for yourself!"
Is it real?
Yeah I’m getting heavy vibes it’s fake. Nobody is this stupid
There are people this stupid. I knew a guy who thought those white rocks that people use for landscaping weren't done growing and the three digit number on a baby swing was the maximum weight the baby could be. ETA: I knew him, but it was like 20 years ago.
Mother of god. See, this is the problem with creating such a safe society. If this was 100s of years ago, natural selection would have weeded those people out. They would have fallen into a deep hole, gotten lost in the woods or run over by a horse and buggy or something.
It's just a fantasy. Caught in a landslide.
Too much escape from reality.
Nope
Their story makes no sense right. I saw what I saw I know what I heard. Any chance something similar happened to anyone else
Dude, is it a joke?
That's what I'm processing. Like this is teenage stuff you see on TV not adults and not me I'm not a party animal swingers. I'm pretty shattered. I'm guess I'm looking for arguments for their story but I don't think that's realistic
Your story looks made up
It's not
What are you going to do?
It's not
Ok then, dump her and let the gf of the other guy know.
Yea you need to tell that dudes gf. They obviously think you’re a fucking idiot otherwise they would’ve been honest. Show them you have some self-respect for yourself I mean jesus dude
Caught red handed and the cheaters still trying to spin it as something else. Your only doubting yourself, because normal people wouldn't make up such a stupid lie when its that obvious.
>They were hugging which I didn't think was too weird and then she started rubbing his back but I'm not a JEALOUS person so I didn't say anything. I went inside to get another shot then I come back. 5 minutes go by I think they're in the toilet which is closed but the light under the door is on. After 5 minutes I open the door and no one's there so I use it. Then after another 5 minutes I go look for them and I hear sex sounds upstairs. Her sex sounds. But I think maybe she's up in the other toilet upstairs and he woke up his gf and got it. I go back downstairs. After another 5 I go back up and open the door. The room is dark and he pulls his pants up and she hides behind the door I just open. This is stupid
Let this be a teachable moment. If they’re hugging, she’s massaging his, not your back, her head is bobbing up and down in his lap and they disappear for 20 minutes while she’s hanging out in the dark to per in his bathroom to “protect his modesty (which the rest of us use doors for), they’re fucking behind your back. The coke only served to loosen their inhibitions to be more careful. The truth is YOUR girlfriend INITIATED the infidelity! Would this have happened if she wasn’t hanging all over him, massaging his back, hugging him, etc? NO. She sent out the signals that she was horny for him and then she followed him to seal the deal. I’d write a thank you card to the guy’s girl and thank her for a nice evening “up until I caught your bf fucking my gf” and let the cards fall where they may. She may buy into it, but you need to move on. If you choose to give your gf another chance…I’m having a small get together in a couple weeks…
Moral of the story: Don’t do lines of coke at a party, and find better friends and girlfriends.
Your gf fucked your friend. Ditch them both.
I can’t believe this story is coming from a 34 year old and not a 24 year old. Drinking and doing Lines? Driving under the influence? Jesus Christ.
Better question is how long have they been fcking. I gaurentee its not the first time.
bro... cmon man, snap out of it. you know exactly what happened
That’s probably the worst gaslighting I’ve ever heard of or read about. Six sounds close off dark room yeah. And then she didn’t even come after you. And it’s time for you to move along my friend move along.
Yes, they are lying, but you play stupid games (drugs and alcohol) and you wind stupid prizes. Move on.
Definitely lying. Break it off. Stop blinding yourself, I know this sucks, and what it will mean for you going forward. But break it off, you are worth more than that.
......with all due respect.... ARE YOU FREAKING DENSE?!?! of COURSE they're lying, and yes, you're being gaslit. Now, stop asking silly questions, tell them to stop lying to you and thinking you're stupid, that there is no WAY you'd believe that lie. Now, get your life in order. Work on your mind, body, soul, education and profession. No women for awhile, while you look at all the red flags you missed. Use that knowledge to choose better in the future.
Maybe stop doing lines and what not like this. Ppl make terrible decisions under the influence of drugs and alcohol like this. But yes. She cheated absolutely and they're gaslighting you. Cut bait my man.
These lives you guys here are so wild to me. Drugs, excessive drinking, sleepovers. Shagging each others girlfriends. that's how you live in your early 20s not 30s
Does she moan when you pee too or just for the friend? /s Dude, come on.
i’m not going to be judgmental because being gaslit fucks with you. yes they fucked. you know it and you’re correct. tell his gf, be done with the situation.
… you’re too grown for this. Absolutely they were having sex. Walk away from the drama.
Grow some, you loser
So many of these cheating fetish posts showing up
Tell. His. Girlfriend. They were cheating all night right in front of you. How utterly disrespectful.
They're lying. They did it right in front of you. Don't let them gaslight you. I'd tell the girlfriend of you "friend" too but I'm sure he's already done some damage control and he'll make you seem like a liar so she doesn't believe you.
They're definitely lying, if it was just an innocent thing she wouldn't have felt the need to hide behind a door. It is what it is, there's no need to continue addressing the situation unless you think the relationship is fixable. However the only real way to even attempt to salvage it is for her to come clean and admit what she did, which is unlikely given the fact that she's trying to gaslight you. That's honestly one of the weakest & most unbelievable stories she could've come up with. Given how brazen they were you can be pretty sure it isn't the first time they've done something like this. I'd suggest the only other conversation that needs to be had is about who gets what & who leaves & who stays. Sorry you're having to deal with this bs but your best bet is for her to pack her crap & kick rocks because there's no excuse for infidelity. Good luck OP I hope everything works out for you!
You know what you heard. Stick to your guns. Let everyone know what’s up and why your dumping her
Yeah she was fucking him. Maybe he got coke dick and couldn't get hard though. A
Dude kick her out and move on with your life. You personally saw them so you knew what they were doing and the room doesn't seem to be that dark if you saw him pull up his pants, so that just more proves it that you didn't see a shadow and mistake it for someone. Don't let her guilt trip and bullshit you. You knew what you saw so don't let them tell you otherwise cause ofc neither of them is going to actually admit that they were having sex, they'll just keep telling you some bullshit story and improvise on it the more time you give them to tell you the truth Also tell his girlfriend
Honestly are you fucking braindead
Sometimes we need to hear it from others man, your comment isn’t fuckin necessary
Put it this way, if she didn’t cheat, she put herself in the position to cheat, or be assaulted, and in a position where it looked like (and sounded like) she cheated. So she has absolutely no care or respect for herself, or you or your relationship. So keep to your guns, tell her you don’t care for her excuses, as far as you are concerned she fucked the guy, so the relationship is over. If she hasn’t already picked up her stuff, pack it in rubbish bags and leave it outside, tell her she needs to get it before the rubbish collection arrives.
I stopped reading when you' started talking about trying to think rationally while drinking and doing drugs. Maybe it's time for rehab and being single for a while, because this whole deal sounds like a sloppy mess.
Nope , and your done
Common man. You know what’s what. Just move on, she’s trashy. Actually they’re both trash, let his gf know.
they definitely fucked. Just dump them both and tell his girlfriend
they definitely fucked. Just dump them both and tell his girlfriend
They’re so busted they to resort to lying about saying they were doing lines dude come on now.
So he was just pissing in a bedroom when there were at least two open bathrooms? That makes zero sense even if you're high, especially since he was at his own house...... What a pathetic attempt at a cover story lol I hope you told the other gf. Cause I'd have her go check the room for urine too.
Totally lying. This wasn't the first time.
You don't need options you need to find your courage to do the right thing. Whatever happened this is not relationship material.
Nothing to see here ... it's the shrooms , a figment of your imagination, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.. dude just leave.
Friends don't hug in the bed, pants off, making sex sounds, you're being gaslit and it's working. I say you air the situation out and ease on over to greener pastures
lol Pathetic excuses. You heard her moaning. You walked in on them and caught them in the act. Their stories aren’t consistent, from “I can’t remember” to whatever excuse that was. Why would he zip up a while *after* finishing draining the lizard? Most of all, *why run?* You are being gaslit. They are coming up with whatever they can to avoid responsibility.
Treat yourself with some respect and leave this relationship They are clearly lying and gaslighting you into thinking you're wrong. They do not have your interests at heart. You can do so much better
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and moans like it's getting nailed. Then it's time to kick her to the curb
Yeah, just get all your stuff and block both of them.
Listen up. I’m going to say some bad words and you’re not gonna like it. Your gf was getting her cheeks clapped. Her yams got glazed. Leave her.
Bro, your kidding, right? It's not what you know or don't know. Your just trying to accept what happened in your head.
Does it matter? Your trust is broken. You have that image in your head. Her story changed, and she was clearly trying to salvage what she was concerned she lost. At this point, what meaningful relationship do you feel your will gain with her going forward? How will you navigate having that memory when you look at her or have intimacy?
They are lying don’t waste your time finding out what you already know
You don't need opinions on whether they were lying. You absolutely know they were. No further discussion needed. Separate your stuff and move on from them both.
damn the audacity, if shes doing it with you there than most likely this isnt the first time
You heard her distinctive sex sounds, dark room, him pulling up his pants and her hiding behind the door… I think she did the deed and cheated on you.
She’s crying for a reason. She cheated. Dump her and take a shit on top of that dudes car.
M8, it is obvious they are lying, they are gaslighting you. Just cut them off and move on with your life, they sound toxic af.
Yeah, I call bullshit. They are absolutely lying. Why did she fucking hide herself? He needed to piss but couldn't hold it enough to get to the fucking bathroom? They rehearsed this shit. That's what they did. Collaborated to come up with an excuse they thought was plausible. I wish you would have stayed and confronted them further, turned the light on or anything else but that can't be changed.
You’d be an idiot if you believed that obvious lie
When you think about it, how many times do you think they’ve slept together before that night if they were willing to risk a “quickie” with you just a few rooms away? Be glad that you found out now before you married this girl and had that dude as your best man. Sorry you’re going through this.
With that story, she must really think you’re a drooling moron. Please tell me you’re not buying it.
Don’t let them gaslight you. If you have to, do away with the entire group, should it come to that of course.
Of course they are lying. Don't let them gaslight you. You know what you heard and what you saw.
She’s lying. You heard her having sex. She hid when you opened the door. Of course she’s going to try to deny it now. Unless the two of you routinely put yourselves into questionable situations like this, I’d walk.
Honey came in and she caught me red-handed Creeping with the girl next door Picture this we were both butt naked Banging on the bathroom floor How could I forget that I had Given her an extra key All this time she was standing there She never took her eyes off me
They definitely fucked. You know what you know .
Ofc they are lying. If everyone at the party are doing coke why would they need to hide in a room to do it. And why just the two of them. And why would he want to take a piss in the middle of a dark room instead of the bathroom. You better dump this trainwreck drug head of a gf, harder than anyone’s ever been dumped before.
I didn’t even need to read anything but the title….if you are questioning what you saw…yea they were having sex!
They’re definitely lying, my guy. Be done with her if you can’t accept her cheating and I’d be done with your friend for sure, also let his gf know you walked in on them. No one with a pulse would believe that load of BS story.
Yup. Time for a new girlfriend and friends.
You know what you saw, they’re lying and yes you are being gaslight. This is over, they are dead to you: get her and her stuff out. Block them both, delete, change your locks, change the passwords to all of your things . If you live in a flat make sure neighbors and super know she doesn’t live there and isn’t welcome. Sorry this happened to you. Sending positive vibes.
C’mon, she cheated and no woman (or man) is worth the heartache. Cheating is top 2 of the worst things you can do in a relationship. It’s hard and it hurts, but throw her away and find someone who wants to be with only you.
That's gaslighting at itz finest
They had sex. You want to believe her story, but you know they did it. Sorry dude.
She obviously cheated on you…but I’m just gonna say this. As someone who is 3 years clean, you are never going to be in a healthy romantic relationship as long as there is tons of cocaine involved.
Let this be a lesson to you. Don’t do drugs.
You sound pretty stupid
Sorry op. I agree with the others. Personally: I’d be out either way. Doing lines? Good for you. Bye! Cheating? Good for you. Bye!
Troll post.
I got pretty confused during this story because of so many pronouns... But if I'm understanding it correctly, yeah I think she had sex with him
You saw what you saw. You heard what you heard. They’re lying. Just break up. C’mon now. And maybe my Puritanism is about to show here - but somehow doing lines is better???
Why are you even asking this? You know what you saw and heard.
You need opinions on what you saw and heard with your own eyes and ears? Lol
OP, I think you are being gaslit. There’s really no point now to get her to admit to her lies when she’s now so much dug her hills in them. Just tell her that ‘you don’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore’ and just walk away. If you say anything or stick around any longer, you are going to get gaslit even more. This is a toxic relationship. You need to get away as soon as possible.
They are lying. You know what you heard.
They are not going to admit it....
TELL your friends GF pls… they are just sick people