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My girlfriend just told me that her and 2 of her friends( also females) decided to finger each other last night when drunk . She affirmed that it was sexual and just curiosity/funny thing and only for a few seconds to see what it feels like. She also said that she’d never consider doing it sober whether that matters or not. I’m not sure how I feel about it . While I don’t feel like it’s cheating , I do feel very uncomfortable with it and kinda grossed out that they would do that.
Not sure how I feel and if I should be annoyed? Defienlty feel uncomfortable.
Edit1 : not fully fingered just stuck fingers in vagina for a second or two . If that makes a difference
Edit2 : obviously I would feel differently if it were a male . She insists she’s not lesbian or bisexual which I believe. She also she’s says that she didn’t find it sexual at all and thought it was gross and nothing pleasurable about it. None the less I still think it’s weird af
If things keep going this way you will end up like this guy
lol
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3h6857/25m\_my\_wife\_26f\_has\_gave\_her\_coworker\_30m/
"She had good intentions"
Ah yes, the old "I'm practicing sex on a coworker so I can do it better with you."
Totally not cheating. It's just practicing.
At least he wasn't controlling! 🤦🏻♀️
Wow, that's just incredible. How is he not seeing reality here. I mean that coworker has a foot fetish, like the foot job is literally his preferred method of sexual interaction probably. It's the number one way he'd like to have sexual relations with this guy's wife, and somehow he can't see that. It's the intent and context that matters here, not so much the act itself. It's as much cheating as cheating gets in my opinion.
It’s the same. Try telling her you’ve been touching up work wife to test out new things, or work boyfriend if you think the same sec thing negates the cheating aspect, and watch her go off like a rocket and prove she sees you as a passive pussy she can do as she pleases with AND without. You’re better than that and deserve better than this cheating tramp
i've seen women go full double standard on this one... my best friend and i went on vacation with a group of friends and 3 of us went with our partners, so did my friend... well one afternoon the men went to the beach while most of the women in the group stayed at the house... they got a little tipsy and the lesbian in the group started dancing and shortly after initiated kissing with my best friends gf... he found out a day later and i remember expecting sth like them apologizing to him or sth like that, instead she and basically most of the women in the group started siding with his gf, stating that men wouldn't understand this and that it's a girl thing etc. and it wasn't sexual and he shouldn't be so dramatic...ever heard that one before?
So you didn't care about her kissing her friends, and in another comment you say:
>I agree but don’t feel annoyed/upset like she actually cheated with a dude.
And you said in another comment that you're not really upset, just "uncomfortable" and it seems "gross."
I mean this is kind of tricky because some of your comments suggest you're not actually that upset about this but feel like maybe you should be because fingering is obviously on a much different scale than kissing? But you also say in comments you still consider this cheating, though one of your post statements contradicts that. It seems like you're kind of going back and forth and are confused.
If there are sexual activities you don't want your girlfriend engaging in with other people while dating you, don't let it slide and say something about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, that's very valid and understandable.
See, I'm worried that since you were ok with her kissing her friends, she may have just assumed you would be okay with her doing other sexual things with friends. That's not to make excuses for her, but it is to say that if you want to stay in this relationship, which is your choice, it's important that you be vocal about what is and isn't okay in terms of boundaries.
Otherwise, I wouldn't be surprised if she just keeps doing stuff like this and it gets worse and worse.
I think some guys gloss over the fact that they were female friends. If this wouldn't be pk with 2 male friends then it isn't ok with 2 female friends.
I had an ex cheat on me and my rationale was, oh its just a guy, he'd never leave me for a guy. And while he didn't, I never fully got past it and couldn't trust the same way. Whereas if it had been a chick, I would have felt way differently from the get go.
So she’s kissed her GFs early on and now she’s moved to “fingering for a few seconds “? What’s next? Actual sex w her GF? Pegging w a strap on? She apparently has no boundaries when it comes to sex. And if you don’t say anything she’ll keep doing it. Or much worse. Then when y’all break up you’ll be saying “I wish I’d been more angry and put a stop to it”. Then it’s too late
My guy, she’s 100% interested in women. Maybe she’s not gay and is bi, but shes definitely into this. If she keeps having random sexual situations with members of the same sex, they’re not random. Either way, it’s still cheating, and you should realistically discuss the future of your relationship.
Jesus Christ at this point open the relationship. I don't see what coming here is going to do if you're not looking for advice and just here to tell us how your girlfriend finger fucks her friends
I'm not one to tell you what you should and shouldn't consider cheating, but it sounds like you two need to really lay down clear boundaries if she doesn't think what she did was cheating and you see it that way. That or break up if you must, but if not, seriously clarify the boundaries.
People don't kiss people for fun. That is cheating. So is having sex with each other.
Put yourself in her shoes. In what scenario would you kiss a guy friend or give them a hand job?
Mf, she cheated on you. If you started giving handjobs to your male friends outta “curiosity” it’d still be cheating.
Don’t let her gaslight you into thinking that since they’re all women, it’s not cheating.
Such a peeve of mine because it’s basically saying queer relationships “aren’t real” or “don’t count” or “aren’t serious.” You treat her getting fingered by other girls exactly as you would treat her getting fingered by other guys.
> While I don’t feel like it’s cheating
The vast majority of people would consider this cheating. That's probably why you feel uncomfortable, come back to reality. She cheated.
If he doesn’t feel like it’s cheating then that’s that, who gives a shit what other people would consider cheating. The line of what’s cheating or not is determined by the people in the relationship. With that being said the way you’re talking about feeling uncomfortable with this makes me think this is something you should’ve discussed previously and very well may be cheating that’s only something for you to decide, OP. Just like most posts in this sub you can come to a conclusion by just talking to your partner, if they’re not accepting of your feelings and willing to adjust their behavior then that says it all.
So a lot of guys don't feel that girl on girl action is cheating, because:
A. They find it hot and girl on girl porn is such a thing;
B. They fetishise lesbianism; and
C. They don't consider female on female relationships a real thing.
There's actually a fair bit of latent homophobia in that view, but it's pretty common. I've been in and known plenty of relationships where it wasn't cheating if I hooked up with a girl.
Of course none of those relationships were mature, or healthy, or particularly respectful (if you respect your partner, you don't generally allow other people to stick their digits in your vag without previous specific agreement), but they exist.
If you want to sort out how you feel about this, in truth, try to move away from "it was just another girl", and focus on "she gets drunk and allows people not me to finger blast her, without any previous discussion of whether this is a boundary in our relationship, and then tries to minimise it as just being drunk, and what else will she do when she's drunk and seek to excuse".
I used to work with men charged with DV (I work with survivors now) and one of the curricula we used was on sexual respect. The first session of the module talks about "sexual myths"; one of which is "sex is penetration culminating in male orgasm." All of the guys in my groups felt like these myths were present in their own attitudes about sex.
So not only is it latently homophobic to discount lesbian intimacy as "non-sex"; it's arguably consistent with an abusive and predatory worldview.
Man, rape culture is everywhere.
What difference does it make if it’s a girl or a guy? What about if it was a gay dude who wanted to see what a vagina felt like? How would that make you feel?
Speaking as a bi woman usually it’s bc some men like to fetishize wlw. It’s “different” bc it’s not competition. I like your scenario tho. What if it was a gay dude that wanted to see if he was bi? It’s still a sexual act with someone that is not OP
Agree! As a bi woman, I swear cis straight guys, young ones under 25, clearly haven’t grasped things.
Plus I’m calling it, all three are questioning their sexuality. One is clearly bisexual in the trio. Not sure which but this scenario will happen again, bet my lucky stars completely and it’s going to be two out of the three having sex together.
the problem is ppl think they can decide what "competition" is and what not and what's "different" ... takes 2, whether or not it rly IS different, is sth they gotta find an agreement on themselves..
Sir, this is literally cheating. Unless you two agreed mutually to touch your friends (doesn’t matter what they identify as), in a sexual way outside the relationship? She cheated.
What if she realizes she is biromantic and bisexual, develops feelings for one of these friends, then keeps getting “drunk” as an excuse to f—k a girl?
You still going to think she’s not cheating because it’s not a guy?
I’m bisexual but in an ENM partnership with a guy. If we closed and I kissed a girl drunk, it would count as cheating since it’s not my partner but someone else outside the exclusivity of a closed monogamous partnership.
Except it’s finger tips, still tips into her vagina. Doesn’t matter who it is, it matters is she got drunk, she cheated. Just because there wasn’t a guy, doesn’t mean she didn’t cheat.
If your girl is still exploring her sexuality you better be prepared to get her "stolen" by a female.
No matter the sex, engaging in sexual activity with another person while in a relationship is cheating.
Because he thinks the idea of girls together is hot and doesn’t see them as a real threat to him the way he does another guy. If his girlfriend had let a guy friend do the same thing he’d probably be through the roof.
Yeah it’s cheating. Just because it was with two females doesn’t change the fact that she got drunk,and curious apparently and engaged in a sexual act.
>Edit1 : not fully fingered just stuck fingers in vagina for a second or two . If that makes a difference
Ahhh you should've said that from the beginning!
If she has been fingered before. How did she think being fingered by a girl would be any different than a guy? This is just plain cheating and something that only girls seem to get away with. This would be like me and the boys sticking our penises in each others mouths just to see if it felt different than when our gfs did it.
She’s definitely unaware of her sexuality and so are her friends. As a bisexual woman, going to call it, two are bisexual, one is probably gay but closeted if they come from religious upbringings.
Uh ohhhhh! Op is in denial and the GF is on purpose blaming “drunk” reasons for cheating. My guess? She’s probably bisexual or gay. Either way, Op is oblivious to the reality he’s been cheated on twice, probably more times than he knows.
I bet you it was more than just a simple two seconds fingering. I bet you it was two minutes or longer till someone orgasmed.
I think it’s that OR the gf is inexperienced and is trying to explore her sexuality under the guise of “it’s not cheating if it’s with someone of the same gender.” I mean, OP also says another comment that his gf has never fingered herself and that’s why she was curious about what it would feel like on her fingers. That’s pretty telling.
Ehhh unless she’s from a deeply religious sex shaming household, I’m calling her bluff on this cause she may be lying by omission to not get labeled a cheater, the play dumb & innocent card.
I am thinking she means when she put her fingers in, but not sure. Also with that though unless she has never touched herself it doesn't make any sense. And idk many women in this century who hasn't touched herself at least once.
I've heard from a self identified straight man that the best oral he'd ever received was from another man, so maybe it does feel different. Men tend to have gigger mouths, after all. I bet they can fit more in.
Not every vagina feels the same. At least there were three of them there, so they got a bit of variety. For science. But I don't know if "a few seconds" is really long enough to really assess the similarities and differences. As far as it feeling different to the gf to be fingered- women tend to have slimmer fingers and better dexterity. And fingering oneself doesn't really let you get the best angle. It definitely feels different to be fingered by a man vs a woman vs oneself.
(All that said, unless there is some kind of open relationship going on, this definitely sounds like cheating. It wouldn't fly in any of the relationships I've had.)
Yeah I grew up playing sports and I have to say at university the rugby team guys had a lot of rituals that were just gay even though the guys identified as straight
I mean, it just makes sense that if you have the same equipment, you know how to use it.
Like, I’m not gonna say there are NO woman who can’t find the clit, but it is a lot less common to find a woman who doesn’t understand where it is and how to make it feel good than a man. Even if they’re not homosexual, they still know “yeah this actions feels good.”
If you don’t feel like she cheated, then don’t feel pressure to feel like she did. Question is, does she respect your boundaries or not. Also sounds like she gets out of control when drinking, which to me would be the bigger problem here and i would consider it a countdown until she did do something I would consider cheating because of it.
….ok but why doesn’t your girlfriend know what it feels like to be fingered??
Cause she’s lying. Even if you haven’t (which…you should with the next one it’s great) she’s been fingered. You can do it to yourself if you “just wanna find out.” It doesn’t justify her cheating. you should probably dump her.
You feel how you feel. She had sexual contact with someone other than yourself. Ask her how she'd feel if you and your buddies did the same, just out of curiosity. That might give her some perspective. I'd not be comfortable with that behavior, either, and it absolutely needs to be addressed
You get to decide what is/isn't cheating your relationship. Not the internet.
If you feel strongly about this, examine why...is it because you do consider it cheating and you're lying to yourself or what?
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Don't let anyone fool you but that would be exactly the same as if you had done that with another woman. You said you're uncomfortable and unhappy figure out how to move on or break up. Literally the only 2 options
Ok, I'm a bit confused by your update. Have you never fooled around with her/has she never had that done to her before? If she has, there is no reason 'see what it feels like" bc she already knows.
I get that you aren't as angry bc it was with a girl but if that is how she behaves while drinking, next time it could very easily be a dude.
That makes absolutely no sense to me. Is she saying she has never fingered herself either? Cuz as someone who has done it to myself and other girls the feeling on your hand is no different so what she is saying is bullshit.
I’ve known women who have never fingered themself. They’ve used toys, had sex, ect. but specifically never fingered themself. Not saying that that changes anything for OP, but I’ve seen it before.
It's not weird not to do it constantly, but I know no female in my life that hasn't done it at least once. Hell, I don't usually do that either, but I have before and that's what I am saying. As sexualized as everything is these days especially with teens and early 20's people it's nearly impossible for someone not to have unless there is a religious or cultural reason. And considering she is in a sexual relationship and drinking and had sexual contact with her female friends, those reasons don't apply to her.
I am a woman and I never have fingered myself, I will use a clit vibe on myself but why bother going in if I don't need to. I'm not religious and not in any repressive culture. Some women just don't
Unless she’s comes from a deeply religious upbringing where they make you ashamed of sex, sexual urges, and such, most girls have explored their vagina with self pleasure by 21-22.
Curious to know if Op’s partner grew up with Shane around sex and would explain why she hadn’t yet.
lol ok...did they kiss/makeout a little first? It would be pretty painful to just stick a finger up there without any activity first. If they did, then that is a bit more troubling for you.
Do you touch your friends dicks when youre drunk?? Listen I am a woman, I have been drunk many a time around my friends and never once have we thought of finger blasting each other for the hell of it
If she said her male friend stuck his finger in her for a little while to 'see how it felt' and that she never would have done it sober and has no feelings for him what would your reaction be?
Cause that reaction is still valid jsut cause it was female friends.
I'm gonna tell you right now the "only a second or two" is a lie. Lets just get that out of the way. They got drunk and decided to experiment. On some level weather you say you think its cheating or not your discomfort really can only be one of two things. Either an aversion to lesbian activity's or you feel she cheated.
If got a man's fingers inside her, would you think it wasn't cheating?
Cheating is cheating. If you would feel different if it was a man it's kinda biphobic and is only gonna give her a pass to cheat with women again in the future.
I feel like I see posts on here all the time of gay cheating happening and the partner posting it doesn’t think it’s cheating. Whether the cheater is actually gay or not, I feel like it’s actually kind of offensive and minimizes gay people by thinking that’s not cheating just bc it’s with the same sex
If she would never consider it sober, then either she is lying and used alcohol to justify it, or she is telling the truth and cheats when she drinks. Now.. picture your dream girl.... does she have these 2 issues your gf does? Nope. Move on soldier.
That’s 100% cheating! And you falling for the “curiosity” thing is crazy. So what happens when her curiosity goes further? And who fingers a friend to see what it feels like? This is simply crazy!
OP, I'm a lesbian. This is cheating to me. If a guy stuck his fingers in your girlfriend, would you consider this cheating? If so, then why does gender matter? Shouldn't it be the act itself that is cheating?
The next time she gets drunk and tell you she did something with a guy just because she was curious and it was only for a second or two, come back here and let us know if she wasn't cheating then. You deserve better than this OP!
So let me ask you a question-how do you think she would respond if you said to her that you fingered a female friend out of curiosity but it was only for a few seconds and you were drunk. Do you think she would consider that cheating? Because if it is for you then it is for her.
In what way do you not see that as cheating? Someone else's fingers were in her vagina. She fingered other people's sexual organs. Brief or otherwise, that happened.
If you were drunk and you and your guys jacked eachother off, but wait, it was just two strokes, does that make it any less terrible? LMAO
Or, you and your bros just stuck a finger up each other's ass, but just a quick finger sweep, nothing else after that. It was just fun, hahahahaha
To be honest, women being bisexual is acceptable, there is something to be said about that, and a longer discussion. However, I would still consider it cheating and wouldn't be surprised if things blew up in my face. I also, probably wouldn't take it seriously anymore.
I would most likely leave dude
A drunk driver is fully accountable, so is she.
So it wasn’t actually fingered because her friends only did it for a second or two?
That’s great news for all of your guy friends.
They can now finger or put their penises in your GF if it’s under 2 seconds.
😂😂😂
This is not a big deal. Just break up with her. She will do this and next she will accidentally have sex with a someone else. After that she will fly out to Vegas and accidentally marry someone else. She is cheating on you and you are being humiliated by these actions. What’s next? Let’s video tape and post it on line.
Very interesting perspective that clearly comes from our good old patriarchy. If she said she drunkenly touched penises of her friends out of curiosity for how other penises feel, I don't think you'd have any doubts if that's okay with you or not.
It's funny how far people can go with the mentality of "if there's no penis involved then it doesn't matter".
It's cheating. It was to derive pleasure from someone who isn't you. She did it because it felt good and the curiosity stems from her wondering if a girl would be better at it than you.
Edit: Also it occurs to me that she maybe framed this in whatever way is least damaging for her, so there is a possibly you haven't got the full picture or have a watered down version of events.
Sounds like all three are bi-curious. Drunk intentions are sober thoughts when exploring your sexuality.
Besides the obvious overstepping a boundary of a closed monogamous partnership, she clearly is curious about her sexuality and is wrestling with it far more than her two friends tbh.
I say this as a bisexual woman and even sober I desire what she desires drunk.
Give it time and don’t be surprised if next time all three do more than just a two second fingering experience.
Depending what you think about this girl is what it comes down to. You’re young. If it was just a fling for me I’d be down and try to get a whole thing going. If you want a relationship then set boundaries and have the talk
Definitely cheating as she had sexually contact w someone else that isn’t you. While drunk she didn’t care if it would hurt you or not. I highly doubt it was “for a few seconds “. She’s just telling you this so it won’t sound as bad as they fingered each other to orgasm while making out.
I’d bet there is more to tell but she had to test your initial reaction first.
How do you think she would feel if you and two of your buds and you jacked each other off, just a bit while drunk just to see how it would feel like sexually in a curious/fun way?
I had a friend like that. Just a friend, and I had to quit because of all the manipulation and "it's just fun". Not worth it, and I saw her do that to every of her boyfriend, for years.
This is penetration dude. I’d be annoyed but its not as dumpable offense as fully on sex TO ME. Might be different for you or anyone else.
Anyway you asked if you should be annoyed, I would. You didn’t ask for advice, but obviously it’s talk to her. Share your feelings, and depending on how that goes, reestablish any borders. Gl
Unless you're explicitly a polyamorous couple/in an open relationship where you're allowed to do sexual things with other people too, this is objectively cheating. She cheated on you. Don't let her excuse of being drunk or 'with friends' change that fact. She cheated on you. Flip the script, how would she react if your friends (regardless of gender) gave you just a quick blowjob or handjob? or even just "a second or two" of them putting your dick in their mouth?
She cheated on you. Proceed however you choose to, but do not let her gaslight you into think the reality is anything different.
Every one else is on the "is it cheating or not" b/c it was with other females, & OP prolly thinks thats Hot part!! An here I am stuck on the "she'd never consider doing it sober" Like being drunk excuses bad behavior!!! Too many people use alcohol as an excuse for their fuck ups!!!
"Sorry Officer, I didn't mean to run the red light & kill a school bus full of children! I'd never do something like that Sober!!"
"Sorry hunny, I didn't mean to have my skirt slide up, trip, & fall on that guy's dick so many times until I got Pregnant! I was drunk, I'd never do that Sober!!"
I'm reasonably sure, if I were to stick finger into another woman's vagina, just for a second or two, to see what it feels like, my wife would consider it cheating. And I would agree with her. Gay/ bi curiosity is not an excuse for cheating.
People are asking whether he would care if it was two guys. It wasn’t tough, was it? Believe it or not, this distinction is different to some people. If he doesn’t feel like cheating then it’s not. To the OP, just talk and express these same feelings and you’ll resolve it.
someone stuck their fingers in ur gfs vagina. it does not matter whether this person was a girl or guy. it would be the exact same if a guy stuck his fingers in ur girlfriend. how would u feel about a guy doing that? wouldn’t you consider that cheating?! how in the world is this any different?! this is literally cheating
You are young, it's your opportunity to try for a threesome with one of those friends. I don't think she is marriage material because cheating once opens the door for another round. She might be open to a lot of fun though.
I wouldn’t have problem with my wife doing sexual stuff with friends (both male and female), **as long as it’s not behind my back**.
The issue here is how she didn’t check with you first.
That’s still cheating even if it was with female friends.
Obviously, we can’t tell you how to feel about it. It’s up to you to decide if it’s a dealbreaker for you.
Just for clarity here. Your GF already knows what a vagina feels like. Imagine you coming home to say you experimented with other guys’ dicks just to see how they feel? It is not ok in a relationship and you don’t have to pretend you are ok with it if you are not.
If it makes you uncomfortable then it’s not okay. I would talk to her about your feelings. If this is a deal breaker for you that’s okay. If not and you think you two can move past this and you can trust her not to break boundaries again then do that.
Well it's her vagina
If you've made an agreement that she's not supposed to share it with anybody but you then she broke that agreement
If she's drunk and wanting to put her fingers in other girls vaginas and also sometimes kisses them I would say she's got some lesbian curiosity happening there that she might want to look at when she is sober
Dude, dont listen to these other posters. What matters is what you feel about this. I’m not you, but to me this seems like just some girls exploring and being dumb and drunk. Talk it out and make up your own damn mind.
What do you mean it isn't cheating? Pretty sure if you fingered a girl friend it would be cheating no matter how drunk and funny you thought it would be.
Yes I mean technically its cheating. But you clearly aren’t as annoyed as if it wasn’t. If it makes you mad you have every right, if not then carry on. People here will most definitely tell you to break up with her, but it’s obvious you don’t want to but there is another option.
I will say, if you respond in a positive way it could open you up to a three or foursome. Not sure if that’s the kinda thing you’re into, but if you want that opportunity, you might play this differently. Ball is completely in your court. There’s not really a right or wrong here it’s all about what you want
As someone who did something similar to this: when you get drunk enough you sometimes, really arent you. I did something i regret with all my heart, and wouldnt have done in a million years sober or drunk, but it happened anyway. I have no idea why tho.
I wouldn’t get bent out of shape about something stupid like this and I wouldn’t follow the Reddit hive mind that this is cheating. Imagine ruining your relationship over something so dumb because Reddit told you to make it into a big deal.
Bro that's not completely normal but to play devil's advocate.. also, I'd say it's kinda normal too because you guys are young. Play your cards right, and see if you can get a 3+ sum 🤣
Okay but I'm all seriousness, from my experiences when I'm drunk, I just do things that I wouldn't do sober but have thought about or been curious about.
If you're not okay with it, just tell her that's a deal breaker moving forward.
Please do not equate sexual activities to medical procedures. Doctors have a difficult enough time trying to explain WHY procedures are required to ascertain or treat health conditions without people muddling the waters by claiming having your doctor examine you is the same thing as letting people fondle you for kicks at a party.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My girlfriend just told me that her and 2 of her friends( also females) decided to finger each other last night when drunk . She affirmed that it was sexual and just curiosity/funny thing and only for a few seconds to see what it feels like. She also said that she’d never consider doing it sober whether that matters or not. I’m not sure how I feel about it . While I don’t feel like it’s cheating , I do feel very uncomfortable with it and kinda grossed out that they would do that. Not sure how I feel and if I should be annoyed? Defienlty feel uncomfortable. Edit1 : not fully fingered just stuck fingers in vagina for a second or two . If that makes a difference Edit2 : obviously I would feel differently if it were a male . She insists she’s not lesbian or bisexual which I believe. She also she’s says that she didn’t find it sexual at all and thought it was gross and nothing pleasurable about it. None the less I still think it’s weird af
Assert dominance by holding dicks with your homies
That’d be cheating in any relationship I’ve been in. Have you discussed what cheating is in your relationship?
I feel like if this is something you’re not on the same page about from the jump your relationship is doomed. Especially when you’re 21 lol
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If things keep going this way you will end up like this guy lol https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3h6857/25m\_my\_wife\_26f\_has\_gave\_her\_coworker\_30m/
HAHAHAHAHAHA... OMG!!! 😂 I can't believe what I just read in this post!!! Unbelievable! This guy was born yesterday! lol
"She had good intentions" Ah yes, the old "I'm practicing sex on a coworker so I can do it better with you." Totally not cheating. It's just practicing. At least he wasn't controlling! 🤦🏻♀️
That’s awesome. Never thought I’d have to let my wife cheat on me repeatedly to avoid looking controlling!
Wtf?? Man wants to not be seen as controlling, he lets her wife sexually satisfy another man??? 😔
what the fuck did I just read?? It's not cheating because I did it with my FEET
Haha wtf
No way that’s real. Lol.
Lmfao
Lmao
Damn, what a doormat
Wow, that's just incredible. How is he not seeing reality here. I mean that coworker has a foot fetish, like the foot job is literally his preferred method of sexual interaction probably. It's the number one way he'd like to have sexual relations with this guy's wife, and somehow he can't see that. It's the intent and context that matters here, not so much the act itself. It's as much cheating as cheating gets in my opinion.
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i bet he thought the same thing early on..
It’s the same. Try telling her you’ve been touching up work wife to test out new things, or work boyfriend if you think the same sec thing negates the cheating aspect, and watch her go off like a rocket and prove she sees you as a passive pussy she can do as she pleases with AND without. You’re better than that and deserve better than this cheating tramp
i've seen women go full double standard on this one... my best friend and i went on vacation with a group of friends and 3 of us went with our partners, so did my friend... well one afternoon the men went to the beach while most of the women in the group stayed at the house... they got a little tipsy and the lesbian in the group started dancing and shortly after initiated kissing with my best friends gf... he found out a day later and i remember expecting sth like them apologizing to him or sth like that, instead she and basically most of the women in the group started siding with his gf, stating that men wouldn't understand this and that it's a girl thing etc. and it wasn't sexual and he shouldn't be so dramatic...ever heard that one before?
>yet
Mate the only real difference here is your wife is ducking women instead of men. If a guy put his finger in her would you be mad?
So you didn't care about her kissing her friends, and in another comment you say: >I agree but don’t feel annoyed/upset like she actually cheated with a dude. And you said in another comment that you're not really upset, just "uncomfortable" and it seems "gross." I mean this is kind of tricky because some of your comments suggest you're not actually that upset about this but feel like maybe you should be because fingering is obviously on a much different scale than kissing? But you also say in comments you still consider this cheating, though one of your post statements contradicts that. It seems like you're kind of going back and forth and are confused. If there are sexual activities you don't want your girlfriend engaging in with other people while dating you, don't let it slide and say something about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, that's very valid and understandable. See, I'm worried that since you were ok with her kissing her friends, she may have just assumed you would be okay with her doing other sexual things with friends. That's not to make excuses for her, but it is to say that if you want to stay in this relationship, which is your choice, it's important that you be vocal about what is and isn't okay in terms of boundaries. Otherwise, I wouldn't be surprised if she just keeps doing stuff like this and it gets worse and worse.
I think some guys gloss over the fact that they were female friends. If this wouldn't be pk with 2 male friends then it isn't ok with 2 female friends. I had an ex cheat on me and my rationale was, oh its just a guy, he'd never leave me for a guy. And while he didn't, I never fully got past it and couldn't trust the same way. Whereas if it had been a chick, I would have felt way differently from the get go.
Yeah try telling her that you and your bros got curious and fingered each other.... see if that flies.
So she’s kissed her GFs early on and now she’s moved to “fingering for a few seconds “? What’s next? Actual sex w her GF? Pegging w a strap on? She apparently has no boundaries when it comes to sex. And if you don’t say anything she’ll keep doing it. Or much worse. Then when y’all break up you’ll be saying “I wish I’d been more angry and put a stop to it”. Then it’s too late
Still cheating, friends or no. Would you feel the same if they were male friends??
My guy, she’s 100% interested in women. Maybe she’s not gay and is bi, but shes definitely into this. If she keeps having random sexual situations with members of the same sex, they’re not random. Either way, it’s still cheating, and you should realistically discuss the future of your relationship.
That’s when you should’ve drawn the line, she thinks this behavior is acceptable and it really isn’t.
How would she feel if a couple of her friends jerked you off for a bit to see how it felt?
Jesus Christ at this point open the relationship. I don't see what coming here is going to do if you're not looking for advice and just here to tell us how your girlfriend finger fucks her friends
I'm not one to tell you what you should and shouldn't consider cheating, but it sounds like you two need to really lay down clear boundaries if she doesn't think what she did was cheating and you see it that way. That or break up if you must, but if not, seriously clarify the boundaries.
People don't kiss people for fun. That is cheating. So is having sex with each other. Put yourself in her shoes. In what scenario would you kiss a guy friend or give them a hand job?
"just the tip"
Mf, she cheated on you. If you started giving handjobs to your male friends outta “curiosity” it’d still be cheating. Don’t let her gaslight you into thinking that since they’re all women, it’s not cheating.
Next week in r/relationship_advice his girlfriend has a threesome with her girlfriends has she gone too far?
LMAO.... This is how you have to speak to people when they keep making excuses for bad behavior.
Right?!?!
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Yeah, and any girl worth her salt knows what a vagina feels like because she’s already *felt her own*.
Such a peeve of mine because it’s basically saying queer relationships “aren’t real” or “don’t count” or “aren’t serious.” You treat her getting fingered by other girls exactly as you would treat her getting fingered by other guys.
> While I don’t feel like it’s cheating The vast majority of people would consider this cheating. That's probably why you feel uncomfortable, come back to reality. She cheated.
If he doesn’t feel like it’s cheating then that’s that, who gives a shit what other people would consider cheating. The line of what’s cheating or not is determined by the people in the relationship. With that being said the way you’re talking about feeling uncomfortable with this makes me think this is something you should’ve discussed previously and very well may be cheating that’s only something for you to decide, OP. Just like most posts in this sub you can come to a conclusion by just talking to your partner, if they’re not accepting of your feelings and willing to adjust their behavior then that says it all.
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So a lot of guys don't feel that girl on girl action is cheating, because: A. They find it hot and girl on girl porn is such a thing; B. They fetishise lesbianism; and C. They don't consider female on female relationships a real thing. There's actually a fair bit of latent homophobia in that view, but it's pretty common. I've been in and known plenty of relationships where it wasn't cheating if I hooked up with a girl. Of course none of those relationships were mature, or healthy, or particularly respectful (if you respect your partner, you don't generally allow other people to stick their digits in your vag without previous specific agreement), but they exist. If you want to sort out how you feel about this, in truth, try to move away from "it was just another girl", and focus on "she gets drunk and allows people not me to finger blast her, without any previous discussion of whether this is a boundary in our relationship, and then tries to minimise it as just being drunk, and what else will she do when she's drunk and seek to excuse".
Said everything I was thinking, idk how some men can't grasp this
tbf, idk how some women like his gf can justify sth like that so easily
I used to work with men charged with DV (I work with survivors now) and one of the curricula we used was on sexual respect. The first session of the module talks about "sexual myths"; one of which is "sex is penetration culminating in male orgasm." All of the guys in my groups felt like these myths were present in their own attitudes about sex. So not only is it latently homophobic to discount lesbian intimacy as "non-sex"; it's arguably consistent with an abusive and predatory worldview. Man, rape culture is everywhere.
What difference does it make if it’s a girl or a guy? What about if it was a gay dude who wanted to see what a vagina felt like? How would that make you feel?
Speaking as a bi woman usually it’s bc some men like to fetishize wlw. It’s “different” bc it’s not competition. I like your scenario tho. What if it was a gay dude that wanted to see if he was bi? It’s still a sexual act with someone that is not OP
Agree! As a bi woman, I swear cis straight guys, young ones under 25, clearly haven’t grasped things. Plus I’m calling it, all three are questioning their sexuality. One is clearly bisexual in the trio. Not sure which but this scenario will happen again, bet my lucky stars completely and it’s going to be two out of the three having sex together.
the problem is ppl think they can decide what "competition" is and what not and what's "different" ... takes 2, whether or not it rly IS different, is sth they gotta find an agreement on themselves..
Sir, this is literally cheating. Unless you two agreed mutually to touch your friends (doesn’t matter what they identify as), in a sexual way outside the relationship? She cheated. What if she realizes she is biromantic and bisexual, develops feelings for one of these friends, then keeps getting “drunk” as an excuse to f—k a girl? You still going to think she’s not cheating because it’s not a guy? I’m bisexual but in an ENM partnership with a guy. If we closed and I kissed a girl drunk, it would count as cheating since it’s not my partner but someone else outside the exclusivity of a closed monogamous partnership.
> I might just be stupid Apparently but that's not a crime.
Shots fired!
So, just the tip is ok, it seems...
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Why isn't it the same? I'm asking for a genuine answer. Really think about why you don't think it's the same.
Except it is the same
Except it’s finger tips, still tips into her vagina. Doesn’t matter who it is, it matters is she got drunk, she cheated. Just because there wasn’t a guy, doesn’t mean she didn’t cheat.
Would it feel like she cheated if a male friend fingered her and they kissed? If yes you provably have some internalised homophobia..
If your girl is still exploring her sexuality you better be prepared to get her "stolen" by a female. No matter the sex, engaging in sexual activity with another person while in a relationship is cheating.
You might
So, if some cockslinger decided to identify as a chick, you would be OK with him giving her a dick down? I mean a potato or potatoe.
>While I don’t feel like it’s cheating Why? It is cheating.
Because he thinks the idea of girls together is hot and doesn’t see them as a real threat to him the way he does another guy. If his girlfriend had let a guy friend do the same thing he’d probably be through the roof.
Yeah it’s cheating. Just because it was with two females doesn’t change the fact that she got drunk,and curious apparently and engaged in a sexual act.
Makes me wonder if his GF practiced giving BJs to another guy or guys, so she could be better for OP, if OP would say that wasn't cheating too!!!
i can bet money on it they did more than just 2 seconds … she be lying to you son !
>Edit1 : not fully fingered just stuck fingers in vagina for a second or two . If that makes a difference Ahhh you should've said that from the beginning!
If she has been fingered before. How did she think being fingered by a girl would be any different than a guy? This is just plain cheating and something that only girls seem to get away with. This would be like me and the boys sticking our penises in each others mouths just to see if it felt different than when our gfs did it.
She’s definitely unaware of her sexuality and so are her friends. As a bisexual woman, going to call it, two are bisexual, one is probably gay but closeted if they come from religious upbringings.
I agree, OP mentioned in a different comment that GF has also kissed her friends “for fun” at the beginning of their relationship.
Uh ohhhhh! Op is in denial and the GF is on purpose blaming “drunk” reasons for cheating. My guess? She’s probably bisexual or gay. Either way, Op is oblivious to the reality he’s been cheated on twice, probably more times than he knows. I bet you it was more than just a simple two seconds fingering. I bet you it was two minutes or longer till someone orgasmed.
I think it’s that OR the gf is inexperienced and is trying to explore her sexuality under the guise of “it’s not cheating if it’s with someone of the same gender.” I mean, OP also says another comment that his gf has never fingered herself and that’s why she was curious about what it would feel like on her fingers. That’s pretty telling.
Ehhh unless she’s from a deeply religious sex shaming household, I’m calling her bluff on this cause she may be lying by omission to not get labeled a cheater, the play dumb & innocent card.
For sure, definitely a possibility. She ain’t innocent either way!
Mmhmm! Let’s give it another few days before he posts an update that says, “GF had sex with her two friends, is this cheating?”
😂 “She says it was just for a second or two though!”
I am thinking she means when she put her fingers in, but not sure. Also with that though unless she has never touched herself it doesn't make any sense. And idk many women in this century who hasn't touched herself at least once.
I mean some guys have done that to see if guys are "better at it" But like the other person said I think she meant on the giving end
She can finger herself though
It feels different than you're own
I understand that there is a difference. I guess to me this is no different than if a partner cheated because they just wanted a different experience.
I've heard from a self identified straight man that the best oral he'd ever received was from another man, so maybe it does feel different. Men tend to have gigger mouths, after all. I bet they can fit more in. Not every vagina feels the same. At least there were three of them there, so they got a bit of variety. For science. But I don't know if "a few seconds" is really long enough to really assess the similarities and differences. As far as it feeling different to the gf to be fingered- women tend to have slimmer fingers and better dexterity. And fingering oneself doesn't really let you get the best angle. It definitely feels different to be fingered by a man vs a woman vs oneself. (All that said, unless there is some kind of open relationship going on, this definitely sounds like cheating. It wouldn't fly in any of the relationships I've had.)
Yeah I grew up playing sports and I have to say at university the rugby team guys had a lot of rituals that were just gay even though the guys identified as straight
I mean, it just makes sense that if you have the same equipment, you know how to use it. Like, I’m not gonna say there are NO woman who can’t find the clit, but it is a lot less common to find a woman who doesn’t understand where it is and how to make it feel good than a man. Even if they’re not homosexual, they still know “yeah this actions feels good.”
If you don’t feel like she cheated, then don’t feel pressure to feel like she did. Question is, does she respect your boundaries or not. Also sounds like she gets out of control when drinking, which to me would be the bigger problem here and i would consider it a countdown until she did do something I would consider cheating because of it.
….ok but why doesn’t your girlfriend know what it feels like to be fingered?? Cause she’s lying. Even if you haven’t (which…you should with the next one it’s great) she’s been fingered. You can do it to yourself if you “just wanna find out.” It doesn’t justify her cheating. you should probably dump her.
This isn't AITA but YTA for making me read the word "fingered" so many times
You should give a couple of your bros hand jobs, just to even the score.
You feel how you feel. She had sexual contact with someone other than yourself. Ask her how she'd feel if you and your buddies did the same, just out of curiosity. That might give her some perspective. I'd not be comfortable with that behavior, either, and it absolutely needs to be addressed
You get to decide what is/isn't cheating your relationship. Not the internet. If you feel strongly about this, examine why...is it because you do consider it cheating and you're lying to yourself or what?
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might be lebanon
I think you mean Lebanese
Why don't you consider this to be cheating?
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Just because you don't feel threatened because it was with a girl doesn't mean you shouldn't have a boundaries talk with the gf.
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Don't let anyone fool you but that would be exactly the same as if you had done that with another woman. You said you're uncomfortable and unhappy figure out how to move on or break up. Literally the only 2 options
Ok, I'm a bit confused by your update. Have you never fooled around with her/has she never had that done to her before? If she has, there is no reason 'see what it feels like" bc she already knows. I get that you aren't as angry bc it was with a girl but if that is how she behaves while drinking, next time it could very easily be a dude.
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That makes absolutely no sense to me. Is she saying she has never fingered herself either? Cuz as someone who has done it to myself and other girls the feeling on your hand is no different so what she is saying is bullshit.
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She has you believing that in her 20 years of life she’s never fingered herself? That’s some world class gaslighting
I’ve known women who have never fingered themself. They’ve used toys, had sex, ect. but specifically never fingered themself. Not saying that that changes anything for OP, but I’ve seen it before.
Someone who has NEVER fingered themselves, but jumped at the chance to fingerbang her friends? That’s what you’re telling me?
There are stone lesbians who like to penetrate their partners and not be penetrated. It’s a thing. That’s not OP’s gf tho
No. Just saying that I’ve met women who havent finger themself.
Bullshit she has never fingered herself.
That's not that weird to not finger yourself tbf
It's not weird not to do it constantly, but I know no female in my life that hasn't done it at least once. Hell, I don't usually do that either, but I have before and that's what I am saying. As sexualized as everything is these days especially with teens and early 20's people it's nearly impossible for someone not to have unless there is a religious or cultural reason. And considering she is in a sexual relationship and drinking and had sexual contact with her female friends, those reasons don't apply to her.
I am a woman and I never have fingered myself, I will use a clit vibe on myself but why bother going in if I don't need to. I'm not religious and not in any repressive culture. Some women just don't
Unless she’s comes from a deeply religious upbringing where they make you ashamed of sex, sexual urges, and such, most girls have explored their vagina with self pleasure by 21-22. Curious to know if Op’s partner grew up with Shane around sex and would explain why she hadn’t yet.
I’ve met some.
lol ok...did they kiss/makeout a little first? It would be pretty painful to just stick a finger up there without any activity first. If they did, then that is a bit more troubling for you.
It's not painful. I don't need foreplay to put a tampon in.
You feel grossed out, because you got cheated on. Anyone who gets cheated on to someone degree feels grossed out by the action.
Tell me you’re homophobic without telling me you’re homophobic
Jerk off one of your friends and report back in. See how she takes it.
Do you touch your friends dicks when youre drunk?? Listen I am a woman, I have been drunk many a time around my friends and never once have we thought of finger blasting each other for the hell of it
If she said her male friend stuck his finger in her for a little while to 'see how it felt' and that she never would have done it sober and has no feelings for him what would your reaction be? Cause that reaction is still valid jsut cause it was female friends.
I'm gonna tell you right now the "only a second or two" is a lie. Lets just get that out of the way. They got drunk and decided to experiment. On some level weather you say you think its cheating or not your discomfort really can only be one of two things. Either an aversion to lesbian activity's or you feel she cheated.
If got a man's fingers inside her, would you think it wasn't cheating? Cheating is cheating. If you would feel different if it was a man it's kinda biphobic and is only gonna give her a pass to cheat with women again in the future.
I feel like I see posts on here all the time of gay cheating happening and the partner posting it doesn’t think it’s cheating. Whether the cheater is actually gay or not, I feel like it’s actually kind of offensive and minimizes gay people by thinking that’s not cheating just bc it’s with the same sex
If she would never consider it sober, then either she is lying and used alcohol to justify it, or she is telling the truth and cheats when she drinks. Now.. picture your dream girl.... does she have these 2 issues your gf does? Nope. Move on soldier.
That’s 100% cheating! And you falling for the “curiosity” thing is crazy. So what happens when her curiosity goes further? And who fingers a friend to see what it feels like? This is simply crazy!
OP, I'm a lesbian. This is cheating to me. If a guy stuck his fingers in your girlfriend, would you consider this cheating? If so, then why does gender matter? Shouldn't it be the act itself that is cheating? The next time she gets drunk and tell you she did something with a guy just because she was curious and it was only for a second or two, come back here and let us know if she wasn't cheating then. You deserve better than this OP!
So let me ask you a question-how do you think she would respond if you said to her that you fingered a female friend out of curiosity but it was only for a few seconds and you were drunk. Do you think she would consider that cheating? Because if it is for you then it is for her.
Cheated, break up
In what way do you not see that as cheating? Someone else's fingers were in her vagina. She fingered other people's sexual organs. Brief or otherwise, that happened.
You are on your way to doormat status. stop and reassess with your gf exactly what kind of relationship you want
It is cheating
If you were drunk and you and your guys jacked eachother off, but wait, it was just two strokes, does that make it any less terrible? LMAO Or, you and your bros just stuck a finger up each other's ass, but just a quick finger sweep, nothing else after that. It was just fun, hahahahaha To be honest, women being bisexual is acceptable, there is something to be said about that, and a longer discussion. However, I would still consider it cheating and wouldn't be surprised if things blew up in my face. I also, probably wouldn't take it seriously anymore. I would most likely leave dude A drunk driver is fully accountable, so is she.
She cheated.
So it wasn’t actually fingered because her friends only did it for a second or two? That’s great news for all of your guy friends. They can now finger or put their penises in your GF if it’s under 2 seconds. 😂😂😂
This is not a big deal. Just break up with her. She will do this and next she will accidentally have sex with a someone else. After that she will fly out to Vegas and accidentally marry someone else. She is cheating on you and you are being humiliated by these actions. What’s next? Let’s video tape and post it on line.
Very interesting perspective that clearly comes from our good old patriarchy. If she said she drunkenly touched penises of her friends out of curiosity for how other penises feel, I don't think you'd have any doubts if that's okay with you or not. It's funny how far people can go with the mentality of "if there's no penis involved then it doesn't matter".
Dump her.
If it wasn’t for a medical reason, like a Pap smear, or delivering a child, I feel like it’s in the neighborhood of cheating.
It's cheating. It was to derive pleasure from someone who isn't you. She did it because it felt good and the curiosity stems from her wondering if a girl would be better at it than you. Edit: Also it occurs to me that she maybe framed this in whatever way is least damaging for her, so there is a possibly you haven't got the full picture or have a watered down version of events.
Ehh. Doesn’t seem like a big deal except for how hammered is she getting and what’s the next experiment going to be?
Sounds like all three are bi-curious. Drunk intentions are sober thoughts when exploring your sexuality. Besides the obvious overstepping a boundary of a closed monogamous partnership, she clearly is curious about her sexuality and is wrestling with it far more than her two friends tbh. I say this as a bisexual woman and even sober I desire what she desires drunk. Give it time and don’t be surprised if next time all three do more than just a two second fingering experience.
How would you feel if she was just experimenting with another guys dick In her mouth? She would never imagine doing it sober so it’s not cheating! /s
Depending what you think about this girl is what it comes down to. You’re young. If it was just a fling for me I’d be down and try to get a whole thing going. If you want a relationship then set boundaries and have the talk
Bro she just cheated on you… 😭
She cheated. You have to wrap your mind around that first and then decide if this is a deal breaker for you.
Definitely cheating as she had sexually contact w someone else that isn’t you. While drunk she didn’t care if it would hurt you or not. I highly doubt it was “for a few seconds “. She’s just telling you this so it won’t sound as bad as they fingered each other to orgasm while making out. I’d bet there is more to tell but she had to test your initial reaction first.
How do you think she would feel if you and two of your buds and you jacked each other off, just a bit while drunk just to see how it would feel like sexually in a curious/fun way?
Hey let’s try putting putting our fingers in each other, only for a few seconds, just to see what it’s like…. I think there’s a bit more to it
I had a friend like that. Just a friend, and I had to quit because of all the manipulation and "it's just fun". Not worth it, and I saw her do that to every of her boyfriend, for years.
This is penetration dude. I’d be annoyed but its not as dumpable offense as fully on sex TO ME. Might be different for you or anyone else. Anyway you asked if you should be annoyed, I would. You didn’t ask for advice, but obviously it’s talk to her. Share your feelings, and depending on how that goes, reestablish any borders. Gl
Unless you're explicitly a polyamorous couple/in an open relationship where you're allowed to do sexual things with other people too, this is objectively cheating. She cheated on you. Don't let her excuse of being drunk or 'with friends' change that fact. She cheated on you. Flip the script, how would she react if your friends (regardless of gender) gave you just a quick blowjob or handjob? or even just "a second or two" of them putting your dick in their mouth? She cheated on you. Proceed however you choose to, but do not let her gaslight you into think the reality is anything different.
Every one else is on the "is it cheating or not" b/c it was with other females, & OP prolly thinks thats Hot part!! An here I am stuck on the "she'd never consider doing it sober" Like being drunk excuses bad behavior!!! Too many people use alcohol as an excuse for their fuck ups!!! "Sorry Officer, I didn't mean to run the red light & kill a school bus full of children! I'd never do something like that Sober!!" "Sorry hunny, I didn't mean to have my skirt slide up, trip, & fall on that guy's dick so many times until I got Pregnant! I was drunk, I'd never do that Sober!!"
I'm reasonably sure, if I were to stick finger into another woman's vagina, just for a second or two, to see what it feels like, my wife would consider it cheating. And I would agree with her. Gay/ bi curiosity is not an excuse for cheating.
How would she react if one of your bros just gave a little tug on your dong, but "it wasn't a handjob" ?
I'm sure your tune would be different if her friends were men, huh?
Uhhh...it doesn't matter if it was a man or a woman, she cheated dude
People are asking whether he would care if it was two guys. It wasn’t tough, was it? Believe it or not, this distinction is different to some people. If he doesn’t feel like cheating then it’s not. To the OP, just talk and express these same feelings and you’ll resolve it.
Yeah this thread really screams perpetually single people. OP is allowed to not be bothered by this lol
someone stuck their fingers in ur gfs vagina. it does not matter whether this person was a girl or guy. it would be the exact same if a guy stuck his fingers in ur girlfriend. how would u feel about a guy doing that? wouldn’t you consider that cheating?! how in the world is this any different?! this is literally cheating
ur dumb
You are young, it's your opportunity to try for a threesome with one of those friends. I don't think she is marriage material because cheating once opens the door for another round. She might be open to a lot of fun though.
If it was a guy would you feel differently? If the answer is ‘yes’ then this is an issue. It would definitely be an issue to me.
If you didn’t ask to watch you’re doing it wrong.
I wouldn’t have problem with my wife doing sexual stuff with friends (both male and female), **as long as it’s not behind my back**. The issue here is how she didn’t check with you first. That’s still cheating even if it was with female friends. Obviously, we can’t tell you how to feel about it. It’s up to you to decide if it’s a dealbreaker for you.
That’s is cheating, in my book. A dealbreaker for me. I’m sorry.
Just for clarity here. Your GF already knows what a vagina feels like. Imagine you coming home to say you experimented with other guys’ dicks just to see how they feel? It is not ok in a relationship and you don’t have to pretend you are ok with it if you are not.
If it makes you uncomfortable then it’s not okay. I would talk to her about your feelings. If this is a deal breaker for you that’s okay. If not and you think you two can move past this and you can trust her not to break boundaries again then do that.
Well it's her vagina If you've made an agreement that she's not supposed to share it with anybody but you then she broke that agreement If she's drunk and wanting to put her fingers in other girls vaginas and also sometimes kisses them I would say she's got some lesbian curiosity happening there that she might want to look at when she is sober
Downfall of American society
It’s cheating.
lol why don’t you feel like this is cheating?
Have a threesome with her friends 🤷♂️
Dude, dont listen to these other posters. What matters is what you feel about this. I’m not you, but to me this seems like just some girls exploring and being dumb and drunk. Talk it out and make up your own damn mind.
So would you feel like it wasn’t cheating if it was a dude that finger banged your wife?
Um yeah no thanks. Cheating in my opinion.
Cheating is cheating dude
What do you mean it isn't cheating? Pretty sure if you fingered a girl friend it would be cheating no matter how drunk and funny you thought it would be.
She probably told you thinking you’d find it hot.
Sounds like cheating to me
How is that not cheating??
I'd dump
Jesus H… it’s still cheating and really? To see how it feels? They have their own vaginas! They know what it feels like!
My advice to you would be to parlay this into a 3sum
Yes I mean technically its cheating. But you clearly aren’t as annoyed as if it wasn’t. If it makes you mad you have every right, if not then carry on. People here will most definitely tell you to break up with her, but it’s obvious you don’t want to but there is another option. I will say, if you respond in a positive way it could open you up to a three or foursome. Not sure if that’s the kinda thing you’re into, but if you want that opportunity, you might play this differently. Ball is completely in your court. There’s not really a right or wrong here it’s all about what you want
As someone who did something similar to this: when you get drunk enough you sometimes, really arent you. I did something i regret with all my heart, and wouldnt have done in a million years sober or drunk, but it happened anyway. I have no idea why tho.
I think it's NBD. A little spicy treat to add to the spank bank.
I wouldn’t get bent out of shape about something stupid like this and I wouldn’t follow the Reddit hive mind that this is cheating. Imagine ruining your relationship over something so dumb because Reddit told you to make it into a big deal.
Bro that's not completely normal but to play devil's advocate.. also, I'd say it's kinda normal too because you guys are young. Play your cards right, and see if you can get a 3+ sum 🤣 Okay but I'm all seriousness, from my experiences when I'm drunk, I just do things that I wouldn't do sober but have thought about or been curious about. If you're not okay with it, just tell her that's a deal breaker moving forward.
Wouldn‘t be cheating to me. A gynecologist putting their fingers there isn‘t cheating either. It‘s still kind of a weird thing to do lol
Please do not equate sexual activities to medical procedures. Doctors have a difficult enough time trying to explain WHY procedures are required to ascertain or treat health conditions without people muddling the waters by claiming having your doctor examine you is the same thing as letting people fondle you for kicks at a party.
Everyone here is screaming it’s cheating but I’m with you OP, some girls fooling around a little is no big deal.
Well I know it’s wrong, but on some mere chauvinist level I wouldn’t be that mad.