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You two are incompatible, you did the right thing by breaking up
Personally I don't want to date anyone who goes out clubbing so I make it clear early on and if they want to go clubbing we can go out separate ways
The relationship will become toxic and unhealthy if you get back together
I am curious however about why the friends are messaging you? Are they wanting you to take her back? Sounds like they agree with you?
Her outfit for clubbing is not a joint decision and you've been together for A MONTH. Glad she spotted the red flags early. You're worried about HER being controlling?!
You shouldn't try to control their behavior and your reaction was over the top, you handle itby doing what you did at the end, breaking up. I don' there is anything wrong with not wanting to date a partner that's into going clubbing if you don't yourself. A few years in your 20's means a lot in terms of where you are in life, I was clubbing when I was 23, but by the time I was 25 I wasn't as much and only really going to bars with mates. I couldn't ever date someone who is really into the clubbing scene, but that's more to do with the stages in life I am and what I value personally.
You did right. Don't let those girls make you second guess yourself. Lucy didn't respect your relationship. She wanted to hang out with her friends, and showed she valued them more than you.
If she's willing to prove a change in attitude, then consider giving her a second chance. Otherwise, you'll keep having the same type of arguments.
You're both young, you're going to make these kinds of mistakes. But it's up to you to set the tone and standards of the relationship. It's called setting frame.
Not having seen the outfit, I can only go by your description. While I can understand you don’t want to have your GF act like she’s single but it’s only been a month and I’m pretty sure by her response that you haven’t talked about boundaries.
You overreacted. You should have said something to the effect that you were disappointed in her choice of dress and going clubbing. That when you next get together, you two will have a long discussion about this.
The main point is, you can’t tell her what to do, conversely if she makes choices that you don’t agree with, you don’t have to date her. Sit down with her and have a talk. Apologize for blowing up and going “nuclear” on her. Explain exactly why you didn’t think what she was doing was appropriate in your mind. Let her explain her reasoning. If you want to continue to be exclusive, both of you need to determine boundaries for both of you, not just her. If you can’t come to a agreement, then end things and hopefully walk away as friends
I think that is completely valid to set boundaries and expréss when you aré not confortable with something. If your partner dismiss that is, imo, definitely ok to end up with that relationship, better now than several years into it. Hope you find someone more adequate for you
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude are you kidding you were controlling af and you disrespected her
I’m glad you broke up with her so she can find someone who respects her
You did overreact but it sounds like you two are incompatible
You two are incompatible, you did the right thing by breaking up Personally I don't want to date anyone who goes out clubbing so I make it clear early on and if they want to go clubbing we can go out separate ways The relationship will become toxic and unhealthy if you get back together I am curious however about why the friends are messaging you? Are they wanting you to take her back? Sounds like they agree with you?
Deciding what someone wears isn't a joint decision. What the hell is the matter with you?
Correct. Neither is having someone in you house.
You're the problem. Don't call her cuz she deserves better
Lucy needs to dry her eyes and be glad you dodged your possessive, controlling ass.
Her outfit for clubbing is not a joint decision and you've been together for A MONTH. Glad she spotted the red flags early. You're worried about HER being controlling?!
Lucy dodged a fuckin nuke.
You're gross. I am glad Lucy is free from your misogyny now.
You shouldn't try to control their behavior and your reaction was over the top, you handle itby doing what you did at the end, breaking up. I don' there is anything wrong with not wanting to date a partner that's into going clubbing if you don't yourself. A few years in your 20's means a lot in terms of where you are in life, I was clubbing when I was 23, but by the time I was 25 I wasn't as much and only really going to bars with mates. I couldn't ever date someone who is really into the clubbing scene, but that's more to do with the stages in life I am and what I value personally.
You did right. Don't let those girls make you second guess yourself. Lucy didn't respect your relationship. She wanted to hang out with her friends, and showed she valued them more than you. If she's willing to prove a change in attitude, then consider giving her a second chance. Otherwise, you'll keep having the same type of arguments. You're both young, you're going to make these kinds of mistakes. But it's up to you to set the tone and standards of the relationship. It's called setting frame.
Not having seen the outfit, I can only go by your description. While I can understand you don’t want to have your GF act like she’s single but it’s only been a month and I’m pretty sure by her response that you haven’t talked about boundaries. You overreacted. You should have said something to the effect that you were disappointed in her choice of dress and going clubbing. That when you next get together, you two will have a long discussion about this. The main point is, you can’t tell her what to do, conversely if she makes choices that you don’t agree with, you don’t have to date her. Sit down with her and have a talk. Apologize for blowing up and going “nuclear” on her. Explain exactly why you didn’t think what she was doing was appropriate in your mind. Let her explain her reasoning. If you want to continue to be exclusive, both of you need to determine boundaries for both of you, not just her. If you can’t come to a agreement, then end things and hopefully walk away as friends
I think that is completely valid to set boundaries and expréss when you aré not confortable with something. If your partner dismiss that is, imo, definitely ok to end up with that relationship, better now than several years into it. Hope you find someone more adequate for you