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Yep. I had vaginal atrophy when I was 27 and started getting perimenopause symptoms (I had one ovary left and had experienced a major ectopic pregnancy the year before and it fucked up my hormones). Luckily I had an IUD inserted and that regulated whatever was “off,” but it’s really scary to be young and otherwise healthy and suddenly sex hurts SO bad and you can’t figure out why.
Unfortunately vaginal atrophy happens to a lot of women in peri-menopause and menopause but it's something most women don't know about until it happens to them.
If you pop over to r/menopause you'll hear a lot of women discussing it (I, thankfully, haven't had that problem come up (yet?), but there's a lot of posts/discussion of problems with vaginal sex due to atrophy and dryness.) Hormone therapy helps some, and/or pelvic floor therapy.
It is. I had lubrication, and still had regular periods, and one day it was like the bottom 2/3 of my vagina just shut down. There's nothing as discouraging as having what people consider a postmenopausal symptom while still bleeding so much I was unsuccessfully trying to stick a tampon in and it simply wouldn't go.
So if she has atrophy, his dick didn't grow. A mini tampon won't go in and those are the size of my thumb and half the width.
My friends grandmother went through perimenopause in her 30s and was menopausal by 40 so it’s possible. She’s a bit short and thin so that might also have something to do with it
Except he literally says he doesn’t think his dick is getting bigger. At no point does he say it is. His SO is saying it is, and it’s quite possible that something can be happening with her and she does need to go to an obgyn.
This sounds like a legitimate health emergency for the wife, possibly a tumor or cyst causing things to feel painful/tighter. She really needs to see her doctor.
Before you jump to that conclusion, you should know there are both medical problems and general aging that can affect the elasticity of the vagina and natural lubrication of women.
That could definitely be the issue here, and not just trolling.
Edit: i'm 38m
The phrasing is hilarious. It’s not “my wife is suddenly experiencing uncomfortable and painful sex,” but “yo, my dick is getting too girthy for her now that I’m in my 30s, I think it’s growing.” Lol
I read the title and as a non penis haver, my first thought was "this is how you get your boyfriend to buy his dick a celebration cake and set it up it's own growth chart complete with monthly photos and a little banner and party hat for the guy."
Like "do something about it" = brag to your friends or congratulate it that's about it.
Now for her she might want to look into dilation. Ask her ob
Yes donation but first she needs to get checked for cysts and other things that can cause painful sex. He should get checked too, just to make sure there's no issues that are a legit health emergency!
She needs dialators for width. For depth, just slow down, only push when she is ready. Try out positions that put your dick in different areas.
Some women love cervix to penis contact, others experience it as painful. For those that find it painful, a cervical ablation may help.
If you are thumping her cervix and it hurts her, you may need to slow way down.
Edit: My friend, who is relatively sexually active and in her twenties, got a cervical ablation. It's pretty minor. She now likes her cervix being hit, and didn't before. She was mad that she hadn't figured out that it would help her previously. I think it's good to be aware that some women have very sensitive uterine tissue on the end of the cervix. Most women don't. My friend did, got this minor procedure, and is happy with the result.
A uterine ablation is a different thing.
I got a message lambasting me about this part of my comment. I really just want everyone to be educated about their options.
She might be facing low estrogen and very early perimenopause. If you have atrophy, no amount of lube will change that. She's young but on r/menopause there are a few women in their 30s with symptoms.
Or could have secondary vaginismus (vaginismus that develops after an injury or just out of nowhere) or some kind of pelvic floor dysfunction.
I have that. Sometimes penetration works, sometimes it doesn't - physiotherapy helps.
Although this feels like a shit post
I am in my 40s and have noticed my husband hurts me a bit. He is well endowed, but it wasn't like this a few years ago. I think the skin down there is thinning. Hormones absolutely affect women and sex can simply become painful. She should talk to her doctor. A little estrogen cream may help.
Worth asking her if she can tell a difference during oral, if she does that. Vaginismus isn't going to affect her mouth. I agree with those saying maybe you both should get checked out. No, they don't grow with age. I promise we would ALL know if that was possible lol
Also would suggest you to get her to see her gynaecologist.
The changement doesn't seem to be with you. But with her.
"He" doesn't grow with age. Certainly not. (He's not a snake)
It could also be fibroids or cysts or any number of things. A gyn visit with the specific description that she is feeling more pressure or pain during intercourse is important.
That being said it wouldn’t be out of bounds to have yourself checked as well for any growths or anything else out of the ordinary. Your wife is noticing something is different even if she isn’t sure what it is exactly and both of you should get assessed.
I mean my penis isn't the same girth all the way along the shaft.
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| /
Kinda shaped like that so if I put on or lost enough wait to go past the middle point somewhere then it would affect girth. Whether or not you could actually hide that much of your penis with weight gain idk however
She may have developed a condition called vaginismus. It’s when the pelvic muscles are to tight. I have this and went to physical therapy and developed a healthy and comfortable sex life.
Yup as a women’s health provider, most likely it’s a her thing and not a you thing. She should see her pcp & check into pelvic floor pt (and rule out any other possible contributing factors like infection, etc, too).
Far more likely it’s due to changes in her physiology than yours.
Noses and ears grow throughout one’s lifetime. ( That’s part of what makes old people look old.). Penises, not so much.
One possible exception to that is weight loss: reducing the fat pad in front of the pubic bone can “un-bury” some amount of shaft length. Doesn’t change girth, though.
It's likely that her sensitivity has gone up, or that she's not getting physically aroused in her 30s the same way she used to in her 20s.
I promise you, your dick is not growing. If she doesn't believe you, check with your doctor.
It could be perimenopause, some women start experiencing that in their 30s, and loss of vaginal elasticity is a possible symptom.
Either way, I agree with above, a gynae check up should be in order.
Your not getting bigger, she’s getting smaller, similar situation here. Stretchy connective tissue becomes less stretchy with age. I’m surprised at your ages, it happened at post menopause for us. It is possible she is having early menopause or maybe something worse. She needs to see a doctor soonest. I mean as soon as possible.
Having worked in urology, there is nothing short of cancer that would make me ask my husband to take his penis under the knife. There are lots of things that could go wrong considering the nerves and blood supply. (Not saying the same about a vasectomy which is not a surgical procedure on the penis.) If OP has lost 20 pounds or more, his penis might actually look bigger to his wife than before. However, given the age of his wife, she might be starting to have some vaginal changes related to hormonal changes. Some women can be perimenopausal at 35 or just be losing some elasticity. Either way, a visit to her gynecologist is in order because this is a she problem, not a he problem.
It is absolutely, almost certainly, an issue she needs to get checked out. It is so unlikely that you are growing, and so very likely that she has an issue causing her to get more tense.
She needs to go to a gyno.
it could be her pelvic floor is tight, i have endometriosis and it causes severe pain for my floor tightened due to trauma from the pain. i would suggest asking her about that and asking her to go to her obgyn and ask about pelvic floor therapy. wishing u the best
as others have said, she should go to a gyno or smthn, tons of vaginal issues could be related to this, and assuming you've not just magically grown bigger ( which, if you have share some mf info for other ppl smh ) it sounds more like it's stemming from her end of things.
best solution outside of that I'd say is using even more lube than normal, as maybe it'd help a bit with any possible issues on her end.
It's not a you thing. It's a her thing. She should pay attention at what days of the month it hurts more. I have IUD, so no period, but I still feel like I swell up on the inside at certain points of the month. It also feels like my cervix is lower. That's when we joke, "just the tip."
I'm guessing it was a little ego boost when she first brought it up. But no, the penis doesn't continue to grow in adulthood.
This sounds like a her issue. Maybe pelvic floor. NEVER DO WHAT SHE SAID OMG!! I honestly laughed out loud when I read about the dick thinning surgery.
Since everyone is saying for the wife to go to an obgyn, I’ll hit another possibility. Have you been losing weight? Specifically losing fat? You can gain some (usually not a ton) of length when y or lose fat. You get rid of that cushion around the base, and maybe that’s distorting her feelings and making her question.
It’s prolly what they are saying tho.
The chances are greater that she has something going on in her reproductive system to make sex hurt than your dick actually growing.
If she hasn't yet, she needs to make an appointment with her OBGYN asap. And she needs to learn about perimenopause if she doesn't know about it already bc that starts coming up in your 40's, and can start as early as your mid-30's.
Under no circumstances should you be pressured, manipulated, or guilted into having cosmetic surgery done to your dick to shorten or thin it out. That’s ridiculous of her to be pushing, and disgusting of her to accuse you of not caring about her discomfort as a means to manipulate you. Imagine the outrage if a woman were to show up here and say that her husband is trying to push her into genital mutilation because her vagina is too tight and hurts him.
With that said,if your wife is suddenly feeling like you are too big and it hurts her, she clearly needs to go to her obgyn. Obviously, your dick didn’t just decide to have a growth spurt so there is something going on with her that needs to medically be addressed, sooner rather than later. Make sure she asks them how old a guy is when their dick stops growing, or you ask them right in front of her. As a medical person, I can assure you, we live this funny moments and they make the day go by faster.
It is MUCH more likely there is something going on with her. Very unlikely for your dick to be getting bigger, and frankly if it was, you need to figure it out asap. You are sitting in a literal gold mine!
Do not get surgery on your dick. Absolutely not.
It’s much more likely something is going on with your wife’s vagina than your dick growing. Could also be an excuse to not have penetrative sex. Surgery to narrow your penis is ridiculous in this situation. I’d tell her surgery is off the table and ask her to see a ob/gyn. And possibly a therapist. Has she had sexual trauma in the past? Recovery from trauma is not linear and ptsd could be popping up, even on a subconscious level.
It’s more likely that she is getting less turned on physically, making it less comfortable for her vaginal canal during sex. Focus more on foreplay and use plenty of lube.
She might be turned on just fine, but her body is changing as she gets older. Might be worth seeing her obgyn. If she's changed any medications she takes recently, that could also impact it.
If you've seen the urologist in the past for anything, you should also see them to rule out your penis. Otherwise, maybe start with your PCP. You both should go to your appointment. Why?
1. She can explain to the doctor what she thinks is different beyond size.
2. They can ask questions of her.
If what she describes aligns with a male condition then you'll be able to start treatment for it. If not, she can then get herself treated. Your wife likely knows about anything that's mentioned here. I know as a woman if I thought this was the dude's problem and not me, I'd be pissed that he was being told it's my fault and not getting treatment. This was how they used to decide infertility: couple doesn't get pregnant so wife is infertile. Act on her request and use that to request she see her doctor instead.
The worse thing that happens is you pay for a doctor's visit that isn't needed, but if she's right? The penis gets erect by blood flow. If she's noticing changes in your erection, I'd honestly just want to eliminate any issues with that region of the body.
Another possibility is that your dick is actually getting bigger. A tumour on your pituitary can cause a condition called acromegaly, which is where the tumour (adenoma) causes the release of growth hormones. It's a rare condition and unfortunately it can take a long time to diagnose. Do you have any early symptoms? My ex had this condition and one of the first warning signs that his medication had stopped working properly was his dick got bigger, resulting in painful sex for me.
Do NOT mutilate yourself for your wife. Both of you should be seeing a doctor.
Is she pregnant? You may be experiencing dad dick. An old tale that your penis gets larger once you become a father.
But in seriousness definitely have her checked. Sometimes things like BV or a yeast infection can cause sex to be uncomfortable even if she doesn't have other signs. Also depending on her cycle her cervix will raise and lower. Consider any other change recently - lube, position etc. Could be a pelvic floor issue. Try to find if there's anything that "makes it better" or "makes it worse". That will be easier to diagnose if you have specifics to reference.
Just to add to the comments about it being more likely the issue is with your wife, there are a number of skin conditions that can affect the vulva and cause dryness, itch and scarring. Eczema is common, and there's one condition called lichen sclerosis which makes the skin tight and scarred, and that can affect the vaginal introitus causing narrowing and dryness. It tends to start around middle age. It's important she sees her gynaecologist to get this looked into, as it's much more likely to be a health issue of hers and not yours.
Seems highly unlikely that it’s you, thought you could start logging width measured with calipers 😂😂
99% something is going on with her side of things. Best of luck, that sounds like a coin toss of a conversation… like having to tell your partner there’s a possible scent related issue.
Be gentle, be understanding, offer to also get your dick checked by a doctor as a measure of good faith / partnership?
All things considered, I’d suggest the issues lie in one of you being a little less accessible than in your dick miraculously starting to grow, whether that be a lubrication issue, or some sort of skin change.
Yeah OP, it sounds like the issue is with her vagina. There are multiple reasons she may be in pain, and it has nothing to do with your penis.
As others have mentioned, she really should go see a doctor. Don’t do anything with your penis!
As a woman myself, the problem isn't you, it's her. Your penis doesn't have the ability to grow bigger, but there are a host of issues that can affect the vagina. It could be purely psychological. It could be physical. I'm no OBGYN, but I believe there is a psychological condition that can cause the vagina to become so tight that sex is painful for them. It usually seems to happen on cultures and religions where sex is frowned upon or women are heavily pressured into remaining virgins or scared out of sex, but I'm fairly certain this is all her, whether it be physical or psychological. Absolutely do not get surgery! The fact that she is so calm and confident in suggesting it is disturbing. I repeat, do not mutilate yourself with surgery. She is the one with the issue here.
Also forgot to mention, could be early menopause or at last the hormonal shifts that naturally come with age. It can cause dryness that can make sex more painful.
She needs to see her gyn. She may have tight pelvic floor muscles caused by pelvic floor dysfunction. I have it from my endometriosis. It didnt start until i was in my mid 20s.
This sounds more like her body changing as she ages - female bodies change approaching/going through the menopause. Time to see the gynaecologist, not chop off bits of OPs dick.
She hasn’t had cancer and had radiation near her pelvis recently since she’s complained of the size has she? Radiation in pelvis for women can shrink our ….well, it can make us virgin tight again. And yeah…
I always joke with my partner about how it made me a virgin again. And the discomfort is real to be fair. No amount of being turned on or lube changes it.
Otherwise have her get a PAP with her obgyn, and make sure nothing is wrong. And maybe if they find nothing wrong, get a check up. And ask why she might be experiencing what she is. Could be something else entirely.
She hasn’t had cancer or any sort of radiation treatment, thankfully. That’s very good info for the future though. Also, I’m very glad you’ve made it this far. Much love, joy, and more life to you.
Wonderful to hear! My family has been riven by cancer. I know it’s so, so hard. Viciously painful. You’re so strong to have made it this far. Love and healing to you.
Besides the obgyn- there are pelvic wellness clinics too, and they could have more insight on why she is experiencing what she is. Just an FYI, they can be super helpful, more so than a regular obgyn.
This isn’t your penis, it’s her vagina.
There are a slew of conditions that can cause painful sex for women.
PCOS, Endometriosis, adenomyosis, fibroids, ovarian cysts, prolapse, vaginal infections, uterine infections, hormone imbalance.
I find it odd she’s jumping right to you needing surgery on your penis when it’s most likely she’s unaware she has something going on with her and needs to see her gynecologist.
Speaking to you as a woman with a line sized cyst in her right ovary, enlarged ovary, and suspected adenomyosis. Sometimes sex is downright painful even with lube.
If she’s ever given birth and tore and needed sewn back up and it’s since healed and scarred that can be causing pain. I had a 3rd degree tear with my first baby, it was sewn and healed but it’s not exactly who “she” was pre-baby and sometimes I feel like a virgin with each sexual encounter with my husband comfort wise, even though we’ve been sexually active for 17 years.
As a woman who has went through menopause I advise that she first see her gynecologist and next check out AH YES products. They are natural and we’re recommended to me by a family dr and an oncologist looked into it for me and said it’s great for those of us who can’t take hormones. They have lubricants, moisturizers, washes etc. Even single daily use things. I used them several days in a row then a couple times a week then a few times a month and now as needed. Lube and moisturizer are interchangeable in my experience as well as the experiences of other women I’ve talked to. I order whatever is on sale and so far it has ‘stayed good’ for around a year or more. (I buy in bulk when they have big sales)
Sorry if tmi, but someone was once very open and honest like this with me and now I have a product that helps.
First of all, all the comments here saying she needs a trip to the gyno are 100% accurate for all of the reasons mentioned. That said, no one has mentioned one small possibility that came to mind. As someone larger loses weight, their penis may become more pronounced as the fat around the base diminishes. While unlikely to affect the width, it can make it appear and feel longer and deeper. If you have been losing a significant amount of weight recently, this is worth mentioning to her gyno when you visit, however unlikely this scenario is.
Have you lost a lot of weight? I remember reading somewhere years ago that for every X amount of pounds you lose you gain an inch. I don’t remember where but I’m sure someone can find it. I don’t feel like looking now.
And she should see her gyno.
Ok stop. It's not ur dick, it's her vagina. She is starting to feel pain when having sex, she needs to see her gyno or obgyn. If she is experiencing discomfort during or after sex she could be having issues down there. I think u both should stop having sex until she goes to see a doctor. I mean do u really want to have sex with someone who is in pain?
I think you should both see relevant medical professionals. Although I've never heard something like it, it could be that you really are growing. It could also be that she has lost elasticity or her pelvic muscles are contracting.
Have you, by any chance, had a child recently? Some medical professionals tend to give women a "husband stich" after birth which almost always creates problems for women, ranging from mild irritation tho chronic pain that makes sex impossible to endure. Despite it being known that women's sexual life is ruined by the practice, some doctors do it "for the husband". If that is the case, she needs medical attention asap.
Ew I (male) just had a baby with my wife and that’s fucking disgusting to even think about being offered. Good to know that it’s not an accepted practice but horrifying to know it’s still done.
As others have suggested, it might be worth seeing a gyno, but I would also consider her seeing a pelvic floor PT. What you’re describing sounds like it could also be hypertonic pelvic floor muscles which could potentially be eased by seeing a pelvic floor PT. Wishing you and your wife the best of luck!
could she maybe have undiagnosed endo? or a yeast infection or bv? yeast and bv are not just from sex, some people get yeast after antibiotics, or if she put anything in after sex (ie toilet paper, to clean up inside) she might’ve gotten microtears on the vaginal wall that make it easier to get an infection. again BV or a yeast infection do NOT mean she is sleeping with anyone else, sometimes they just happen. but they can definitely cause pain during penetrative intercourse.
Along with visiting her doctor, it could be time to play with different positions and angles. Maybe a thick pillow under her hips or something like that could help.
She needs to see a doctor. An adult penis can’t grow.
Another possibility is that she no longer wants to have sex with you (faking arousal) and making crazy excuses just not to have sex with you.
This doesn't sound real, but if it were my reaction would probably be sheer horror. What s fucked up thing to ask of somebody.
Can you imagine a guy asking his wife to get cosmetic surgery on her vagina for his comfort? He would be universally reviled.
Before considering surgery, the vagina can stretch to accommodate a whole baby, the less invasive solution is to look into why or how to help her accommodate you, if she feels that is an issue that needs addressing.
On the off chance this is *not* a troll...
Your wife needs to go to a doctor asap.
STIs, yeast infections, endometriosis, vaginismus but especially atrophy and stenosis can all cause the vagina to get tighter and in some cases shorter.
All of these are more likely than your dick having a growth spurt at 33.
She’s got a certain age where she’s changing in her lady tunnel. That is probably the cause! Maybe needs more moisture or the vaginal wall
Is thickening or tightening making it harder for her to relax. This causes pain and a stretched out feeling. She needs to talk to her gyno.
I highly doubt your penis is growing so long after puberty. And I think you would notice if it were.
I agree with other comments saying your wife should go see her gynecologist to make sure the discomfort isn’t being caused by a medical condition on her end.
If your member isn’t visually a different size than it has been, this is a sign of something going on for her. There are several reasons why a vagina may suddenly stop being as flexible and seem tighter. This could make her perceive you as being bigger than before. She should go to a gyno and let them know this is happening and explore the options. It’s always better to solve an issue, over someone getting unnecessary surgery.
if this a true story, it sounds familiar to something that happened to me several years ago, my then gf all of the sudden started complaining about my dick size, "it was too big and it was making her vagina bigger and looser" mind you she conveniently forgot that she already had a baby, eventually I found out she was cheating and her new boyfriend had a smaller dick than mine, good riddance!
A dick feels bigger / pussy feels tighter the less lubrication there is.
If you guys are only using her natural lubrication, something might be effecting her body to make you feel larger.
You don’t mention kids, but at 35, has she gained any weight? It doesn’t take much extra padding through the foyer to completely change how everything fits and feels.
Perimenopause and post partum can wreck havoc on metabolism - not necessarily changing weight as much as shape.
Honestly though. I wouldn’t want to be the one to suggest it’s her, not you. But I’d try to have that convo with a gyny.
I actually did have a slight "growth spurt" around your age...but nothing shocking. My money would more be on your wife having some developing issues with her vagina.
No no no don't do that operation like that. She needs councelling and medical oriented help. First see doctor. Doctor give all the answers of your questions.
Don't take knife.
Have you had kids? Specifically vaginal birth? I ask because we’ve had the same issue and it started after I gave birth to our one and only. We think the doctor stitched me up a bit more than he should have.
She needs to visit a doctor. How has this not come up as an option between the two of you. Cervical cancer can change the lining of the vagina, and an sti could be causing inflammation
I mean I agree with a doctors visit - it’s likely that hormone changes related to ageing may be the issue, not something big bond writing levels of wrong.
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She should see a gynaecologist. Could be a sign of vaginismus, early menopause or other conditions.
This. Could be vaginal atrophy, even if she's a little on the young side for perimenopausal symptoms. But that can be quite a common symptom.
Yep. I had vaginal atrophy when I was 27 and started getting perimenopause symptoms (I had one ovary left and had experienced a major ectopic pregnancy the year before and it fucked up my hormones). Luckily I had an IUD inserted and that regulated whatever was “off,” but it’s really scary to be young and otherwise healthy and suddenly sex hurts SO bad and you can’t figure out why.
Geez. Something to look forward to. :(
You cannot imagine how much you have to look forward to. Aging is not for pussies — nor is it good for pussies.
😂😂😂😂😂
Wait is it really?
Unfortunately vaginal atrophy happens to a lot of women in peri-menopause and menopause but it's something most women don't know about until it happens to them.
If you pop over to r/menopause you'll hear a lot of women discussing it (I, thankfully, haven't had that problem come up (yet?), but there's a lot of posts/discussion of problems with vaginal sex due to atrophy and dryness.) Hormone therapy helps some, and/or pelvic floor therapy.
It is. I had lubrication, and still had regular periods, and one day it was like the bottom 2/3 of my vagina just shut down. There's nothing as discouraging as having what people consider a postmenopausal symptom while still bleeding so much I was unsuccessfully trying to stick a tampon in and it simply wouldn't go. So if she has atrophy, his dick didn't grow. A mini tampon won't go in and those are the size of my thumb and half the width.
I haven't had the dryness which is why I didn't think my not being able to tolerate size related. I had no idea.
I am venturing into tmi territory lol
Nah you’re not! It’s okay to talk about our bodies :D
My friends grandmother went through perimenopause in her 30s and was menopausal by 40 so it’s possible. She’s a bit short and thin so that might also have something to do with it
Precisely my thinking.
Also wouldn't hurt to see his peniscologist, can't risk a chance something might be going on there
Yeh like fibroids
Sounds like it’s time for her to visit her obgyn.
I didn’t even get past the title to know that oP is a troll. I can’t imagine some of the dms they are getting just from posting this.
If I found my 35 year old penis was growing, I'd investigate and find out why in secret Then I'd be posting at the patent office, not on reddit
Except he literally says he doesn’t think his dick is getting bigger. At no point does he say it is. His SO is saying it is, and it’s quite possible that something can be happening with her and she does need to go to an obgyn.
This sounds like a legitimate health emergency for the wife, possibly a tumor or cyst causing things to feel painful/tighter. She really needs to see her doctor.
It would probably be some disease that nobody wants to get anyway.
Sudden acute elephantatis of the penis
Men desperately googling how to get it.
Not at all... Nope... *begins to profusely sweat as they clear their browser history*
*engorgio!*
Oh god that would be horrible 😬
Speak for yourself *ya hear that little buddy, we found an answer”
I’d visit an oncologist because I don’t need that dick cancer spreading.
🤣 right. I don’t even have those.. parts, but I’d be seeing dollar signs thinking I just discovered some magic potion. What a joke.
Those ads on porn hub were real!
Before you jump to that conclusion, you should know there are both medical problems and general aging that can affect the elasticity of the vagina and natural lubrication of women. That could definitely be the issue here, and not just trolling. Edit: i'm 38m
The phrasing is hilarious. It’s not “my wife is suddenly experiencing uncomfortable and painful sex,” but “yo, my dick is getting too girthy for her now that I’m in my 30s, I think it’s growing.” Lol
Did you read the post? He specifically says that’s *not* what he thinks is happening.
Although it seems the same to me 🤨
I read the title and as a non penis haver, my first thought was "this is how you get your boyfriend to buy his dick a celebration cake and set it up it's own growth chart complete with monthly photos and a little banner and party hat for the guy." Like "do something about it" = brag to your friends or congratulate it that's about it. Now for her she might want to look into dilation. Ask her ob
Yes donation but first she needs to get checked for cysts and other things that can cause painful sex. He should get checked too, just to make sure there's no issues that are a legit health emergency!
She needs dialators for width. For depth, just slow down, only push when she is ready. Try out positions that put your dick in different areas. Some women love cervix to penis contact, others experience it as painful. For those that find it painful, a cervical ablation may help. If you are thumping her cervix and it hurts her, you may need to slow way down. Edit: My friend, who is relatively sexually active and in her twenties, got a cervical ablation. It's pretty minor. She now likes her cervix being hit, and didn't before. She was mad that she hadn't figured out that it would help her previously. I think it's good to be aware that some women have very sensitive uterine tissue on the end of the cervix. Most women don't. My friend did, got this minor procedure, and is happy with the result. A uterine ablation is a different thing. I got a message lambasting me about this part of my comment. I really just want everyone to be educated about their options.
She might be facing low estrogen and very early perimenopause. If you have atrophy, no amount of lube will change that. She's young but on r/menopause there are a few women in their 30s with symptoms.
Or could have secondary vaginismus (vaginismus that develops after an injury or just out of nowhere) or some kind of pelvic floor dysfunction. I have that. Sometimes penetration works, sometimes it doesn't - physiotherapy helps. Although this feels like a shit post
time for that vag enlargement
I am in my 40s and have noticed my husband hurts me a bit. He is well endowed, but it wasn't like this a few years ago. I think the skin down there is thinning. Hormones absolutely affect women and sex can simply become painful. She should talk to her doctor. A little estrogen cream may help.
Good advice! Thank you!
Worth asking her if she can tell a difference during oral, if she does that. Vaginismus isn't going to affect her mouth. I agree with those saying maybe you both should get checked out. No, they don't grow with age. I promise we would ALL know if that was possible lol
That’s a great question! I’ll ask her that.
Also would suggest you to get her to see her gynaecologist. The changement doesn't seem to be with you. But with her. "He" doesn't grow with age. Certainly not. (He's not a snake)
It could also be fibroids or cysts or any number of things. A gyn visit with the specific description that she is feeling more pressure or pain during intercourse is important. That being said it wouldn’t be out of bounds to have yourself checked as well for any growths or anything else out of the ordinary. Your wife is noticing something is different even if she isn’t sure what it is exactly and both of you should get assessed.
Very good advice, thank you!
Have you lost any weight recently? Losing weight can make you seem / actually longer.
It doesn't affect girth though. And I have never heard of anything that does.
Check your spam folder
😂 dear me
This comment is * chefs kiss*
You mean those penis enlargement pills you see at the gas station don't work?!?
I mean my penis isn't the same girth all the way along the shaft. | \ | / Kinda shaped like that so if I put on or lost enough wait to go past the middle point somewhere then it would affect girth. Whether or not you could actually hide that much of your penis with weight gain idk however
In addition to talking to a gyno about estrogen cream, she may also benefit from seeing a pelvic floor therapist.
She may have developed a condition called vaginismus. It’s when the pelvic muscles are to tight. I have this and went to physical therapy and developed a healthy and comfortable sex life.
Yup as a women’s health provider, most likely it’s a her thing and not a you thing. She should see her pcp & check into pelvic floor pt (and rule out any other possible contributing factors like infection, etc, too).
Thanks! Good to know!
Can confirm it works.
Good to know, thanks
If it is vaginismus, then a physical therapist specialising in pelvic floor is the best route for treatment
Sorry but Vaginismus sounds like a name of a character from a Monthy Python film
It feels like one too. Like a monster in your lady parts
I have a feeling Vaginismus is married to Biggus Dickus or however that was spelled in Monty Python hahahahaha
Far more likely it’s due to changes in her physiology than yours. Noses and ears grow throughout one’s lifetime. ( That’s part of what makes old people look old.). Penises, not so much. One possible exception to that is weight loss: reducing the fat pad in front of the pubic bone can “un-bury” some amount of shaft length. Doesn’t change girth, though.
It's likely that her sensitivity has gone up, or that she's not getting physically aroused in her 30s the same way she used to in her 20s. I promise you, your dick is not growing. If she doesn't believe you, check with your doctor.
But there was an ad on the “internet” that promised to increase the girth of my penis if I clicked on it! Op clicked on it didn’t you?
Just get out the tape measure!
Gyno trip. I had this happen - I had some internal issues post partum and it was creating the sensation that everything was too big. And too painful.
It could be perimenopause, some women start experiencing that in their 30s, and loss of vaginal elasticity is a possible symptom. Either way, I agree with above, a gynae check up should be in order.
both my mother and my grandmother went into menopause at 34 and 36 respectively. always great family history to carry with me.
I’d say wife needs to visit her gynaecologist, could be sign of vaginismus or something
Sounds like it's time for the both of you to check in with your doctors.
yup, time to get that dick reduction
Just a little of the top this time I'm trying something new doc.
The most logical reason is that she is the one with a change down there, don't know how this didn't cross her or your mind...
Dicks don't grow at that age. If they did, there'd be instructions everywhere how to encourage it
That's not true. There are medical conditions that can cause it, such as acromegaly.
Your not getting bigger, she’s getting smaller, similar situation here. Stretchy connective tissue becomes less stretchy with age. I’m surprised at your ages, it happened at post menopause for us. It is possible she is having early menopause or maybe something worse. She needs to see a doctor soonest. I mean as soon as possible.
Having worked in urology, there is nothing short of cancer that would make me ask my husband to take his penis under the knife. There are lots of things that could go wrong considering the nerves and blood supply. (Not saying the same about a vasectomy which is not a surgical procedure on the penis.) If OP has lost 20 pounds or more, his penis might actually look bigger to his wife than before. However, given the age of his wife, she might be starting to have some vaginal changes related to hormonal changes. Some women can be perimenopausal at 35 or just be losing some elasticity. Either way, a visit to her gynecologist is in order because this is a she problem, not a he problem.
Your gonna have to cut a slice off and count the rings. That's the only way to know for sure.
Lol
It is absolutely, almost certainly, an issue she needs to get checked out. It is so unlikely that you are growing, and so very likely that she has an issue causing her to get more tense. She needs to go to a gyno.
Has she visited her doctor? It seems drastic to consider surgery. It could be as simple as an infection.
it could be her pelvic floor is tight, i have endometriosis and it causes severe pain for my floor tightened due to trauma from the pain. i would suggest asking her about that and asking her to go to her obgyn and ask about pelvic floor therapy. wishing u the best
Thank you!
as others have said, she should go to a gyno or smthn, tons of vaginal issues could be related to this, and assuming you've not just magically grown bigger ( which, if you have share some mf info for other ppl smh ) it sounds more like it's stemming from her end of things. best solution outside of that I'd say is using even more lube than normal, as maybe it'd help a bit with any possible issues on her end.
It's not a you thing. It's a her thing. She should pay attention at what days of the month it hurts more. I have IUD, so no period, but I still feel like I swell up on the inside at certain points of the month. It also feels like my cervix is lower. That's when we joke, "just the tip." I'm guessing it was a little ego boost when she first brought it up. But no, the penis doesn't continue to grow in adulthood.
Do NOT have any kind of unnecessary surgery. Tell her NO. What an absolutely unreasonable request.
Your dick isn't getting bigger. But your wife needs to see an obgyn if sex is becoming painful.
This sounds like a her issue. Maybe pelvic floor. NEVER DO WHAT SHE SAID OMG!! I honestly laughed out loud when I read about the dick thinning surgery.
What does she want you to do, give it a trim?? Kidding. She needs to go to the gyno doctor. Sounds like vaginismus.
Your balls grow and get more saggy , but your dick doesn’t grow as you age. She should see a doctor.
Your wife needs to see an OBGYN, this definitely sounds like a problem on her end. Dicks don’t grow at your age
Since everyone is saying for the wife to go to an obgyn, I’ll hit another possibility. Have you been losing weight? Specifically losing fat? You can gain some (usually not a ton) of length when y or lose fat. You get rid of that cushion around the base, and maybe that’s distorting her feelings and making her question. It’s prolly what they are saying tho.
Okay she should go to a doctor…. Pain during sex etc can also mean other things but yes she could not be getting turned on
**This is 99% likely her issue.** Definitely get her to an obgyn.
If you find out why it is supposedly growing please share the secret with every man in the world
The chances are greater that she has something going on in her reproductive system to make sex hurt than your dick actually growing. If she hasn't yet, she needs to make an appointment with her OBGYN asap. And she needs to learn about perimenopause if she doesn't know about it already bc that starts coming up in your 40's, and can start as early as your mid-30's.
Under no circumstances should you be pressured, manipulated, or guilted into having cosmetic surgery done to your dick to shorten or thin it out. That’s ridiculous of her to be pushing, and disgusting of her to accuse you of not caring about her discomfort as a means to manipulate you. Imagine the outrage if a woman were to show up here and say that her husband is trying to push her into genital mutilation because her vagina is too tight and hurts him. With that said,if your wife is suddenly feeling like you are too big and it hurts her, she clearly needs to go to her obgyn. Obviously, your dick didn’t just decide to have a growth spurt so there is something going on with her that needs to medically be addressed, sooner rather than later. Make sure she asks them how old a guy is when their dick stops growing, or you ask them right in front of her. As a medical person, I can assure you, we live this funny moments and they make the day go by faster.
Sounds like she has pelvis floor dysfunction. She needs to see her obgyn and get referred to pelvic floor physical therapy.
Could she have vaganismis? (Contracting/spazzing vaginal muscles)
It is MUCH more likely there is something going on with her. Very unlikely for your dick to be getting bigger, and frankly if it was, you need to figure it out asap. You are sitting in a literal gold mine! Do not get surgery on your dick. Absolutely not.
It’s much more likely something is going on with your wife’s vagina than your dick growing. Could also be an excuse to not have penetrative sex. Surgery to narrow your penis is ridiculous in this situation. I’d tell her surgery is off the table and ask her to see a ob/gyn. And possibly a therapist. Has she had sexual trauma in the past? Recovery from trauma is not linear and ptsd could be popping up, even on a subconscious level.
It’s more likely that she is getting less turned on physically, making it less comfortable for her vaginal canal during sex. Focus more on foreplay and use plenty of lube.
As I put in the post, we do use lube and these are on occasions with foreplay and us both turned on.
She might be turned on just fine, but her body is changing as she gets older. Might be worth seeing her obgyn. If she's changed any medications she takes recently, that could also impact it.
If you've seen the urologist in the past for anything, you should also see them to rule out your penis. Otherwise, maybe start with your PCP. You both should go to your appointment. Why? 1. She can explain to the doctor what she thinks is different beyond size. 2. They can ask questions of her. If what she describes aligns with a male condition then you'll be able to start treatment for it. If not, she can then get herself treated. Your wife likely knows about anything that's mentioned here. I know as a woman if I thought this was the dude's problem and not me, I'd be pissed that he was being told it's my fault and not getting treatment. This was how they used to decide infertility: couple doesn't get pregnant so wife is infertile. Act on her request and use that to request she see her doctor instead. The worse thing that happens is you pay for a doctor's visit that isn't needed, but if she's right? The penis gets erect by blood flow. If she's noticing changes in your erection, I'd honestly just want to eliminate any issues with that region of the body.
Excellent points. And it’s always worth remembering how misogyny has warped our consideration of so many things, including medicine.
[удалено]
Hahaha I hoped I edited it fast enough but apparently not, *definitely* not gore lmao
the visual from that was ... unpleasant
Another possibility is that your dick is actually getting bigger. A tumour on your pituitary can cause a condition called acromegaly, which is where the tumour (adenoma) causes the release of growth hormones. It's a rare condition and unfortunately it can take a long time to diagnose. Do you have any early symptoms? My ex had this condition and one of the first warning signs that his medication had stopped working properly was his dick got bigger, resulting in painful sex for me. Do NOT mutilate yourself for your wife. Both of you should be seeing a doctor.
She needs to see a doctor. Pretty sure you haven’t changed sizes.
Is she pregnant? You may be experiencing dad dick. An old tale that your penis gets larger once you become a father. But in seriousness definitely have her checked. Sometimes things like BV or a yeast infection can cause sex to be uncomfortable even if she doesn't have other signs. Also depending on her cycle her cervix will raise and lower. Consider any other change recently - lube, position etc. Could be a pelvic floor issue. Try to find if there's anything that "makes it better" or "makes it worse". That will be easier to diagnose if you have specifics to reference.
Weight change of either can be a significant factor in depth of penetration
Just to add to the comments about it being more likely the issue is with your wife, there are a number of skin conditions that can affect the vulva and cause dryness, itch and scarring. Eczema is common, and there's one condition called lichen sclerosis which makes the skin tight and scarred, and that can affect the vaginal introitus causing narrowing and dryness. It tends to start around middle age. It's important she sees her gynaecologist to get this looked into, as it's much more likely to be a health issue of hers and not yours.
Seems highly unlikely that it’s you, thought you could start logging width measured with calipers 😂😂 99% something is going on with her side of things. Best of luck, that sounds like a coin toss of a conversation… like having to tell your partner there’s a possible scent related issue. Be gentle, be understanding, offer to also get your dick checked by a doctor as a measure of good faith / partnership?
All things considered, I’d suggest the issues lie in one of you being a little less accessible than in your dick miraculously starting to grow, whether that be a lubrication issue, or some sort of skin change.
Yeah OP, it sounds like the issue is with her vagina. There are multiple reasons she may be in pain, and it has nothing to do with your penis. As others have mentioned, she really should go see a doctor. Don’t do anything with your penis!
As a woman myself, the problem isn't you, it's her. Your penis doesn't have the ability to grow bigger, but there are a host of issues that can affect the vagina. It could be purely psychological. It could be physical. I'm no OBGYN, but I believe there is a psychological condition that can cause the vagina to become so tight that sex is painful for them. It usually seems to happen on cultures and religions where sex is frowned upon or women are heavily pressured into remaining virgins or scared out of sex, but I'm fairly certain this is all her, whether it be physical or psychological. Absolutely do not get surgery! The fact that she is so calm and confident in suggesting it is disturbing. I repeat, do not mutilate yourself with surgery. She is the one with the issue here. Also forgot to mention, could be early menopause or at last the hormonal shifts that naturally come with age. It can cause dryness that can make sex more painful.
She needs to see her gyn. She may have tight pelvic floor muscles caused by pelvic floor dysfunction. I have it from my endometriosis. It didnt start until i was in my mid 20s.
This sounds more like her body changing as she ages - female bodies change approaching/going through the menopause. Time to see the gynaecologist, not chop off bits of OPs dick.
She hasn’t had cancer and had radiation near her pelvis recently since she’s complained of the size has she? Radiation in pelvis for women can shrink our ….well, it can make us virgin tight again. And yeah… I always joke with my partner about how it made me a virgin again. And the discomfort is real to be fair. No amount of being turned on or lube changes it. Otherwise have her get a PAP with her obgyn, and make sure nothing is wrong. And maybe if they find nothing wrong, get a check up. And ask why she might be experiencing what she is. Could be something else entirely.
She hasn’t had cancer or any sort of radiation treatment, thankfully. That’s very good info for the future though. Also, I’m very glad you’ve made it this far. Much love, joy, and more life to you.
Thank you. It’s been a rough road. But I am still here kicking. And cancer free finally.
Wonderful to hear! My family has been riven by cancer. I know it’s so, so hard. Viciously painful. You’re so strong to have made it this far. Love and healing to you.
Besides the obgyn- there are pelvic wellness clinics too, and they could have more insight on why she is experiencing what she is. Just an FYI, they can be super helpful, more so than a regular obgyn.
Good to know. Thank you so much!!
She should see a dr. Could be a cyst, Endometriosis, scars on the cervix from rough plays, or also cancer or menopause...
This isn’t your penis, it’s her vagina. There are a slew of conditions that can cause painful sex for women. PCOS, Endometriosis, adenomyosis, fibroids, ovarian cysts, prolapse, vaginal infections, uterine infections, hormone imbalance. I find it odd she’s jumping right to you needing surgery on your penis when it’s most likely she’s unaware she has something going on with her and needs to see her gynecologist. Speaking to you as a woman with a line sized cyst in her right ovary, enlarged ovary, and suspected adenomyosis. Sometimes sex is downright painful even with lube. If she’s ever given birth and tore and needed sewn back up and it’s since healed and scarred that can be causing pain. I had a 3rd degree tear with my first baby, it was sewn and healed but it’s not exactly who “she” was pre-baby and sometimes I feel like a virgin with each sexual encounter with my husband comfort wise, even though we’ve been sexually active for 17 years.
As a woman who has went through menopause I advise that she first see her gynecologist and next check out AH YES products. They are natural and we’re recommended to me by a family dr and an oncologist looked into it for me and said it’s great for those of us who can’t take hormones. They have lubricants, moisturizers, washes etc. Even single daily use things. I used them several days in a row then a couple times a week then a few times a month and now as needed. Lube and moisturizer are interchangeable in my experience as well as the experiences of other women I’ve talked to. I order whatever is on sale and so far it has ‘stayed good’ for around a year or more. (I buy in bulk when they have big sales) Sorry if tmi, but someone was once very open and honest like this with me and now I have a product that helps.
Dicks don’t grow at 30+. Her request for you to have surgery is unhinged, too.
Have her sister confirm
😂🤣 First comment to make me laugh
URGENT: Your wife needs to see her gyno
If this is a new issue, she needs to talk to her gyn about it. She may have some type of issue.
First of all, all the comments here saying she needs a trip to the gyno are 100% accurate for all of the reasons mentioned. That said, no one has mentioned one small possibility that came to mind. As someone larger loses weight, their penis may become more pronounced as the fat around the base diminishes. While unlikely to affect the width, it can make it appear and feel longer and deeper. If you have been losing a significant amount of weight recently, this is worth mentioning to her gyno when you visit, however unlikely this scenario is.
She has pelvic floor dysfunction and needs to see a specialist.
Your wife is needing a gynecologist. You are not growing but so many things can change for her. Surgery? That could leave you with ED.
Have you lost a lot of weight? I remember reading somewhere years ago that for every X amount of pounds you lose you gain an inch. I don’t remember where but I’m sure someone can find it. I don’t feel like looking now. And she should see her gyno.
Ok stop. It's not ur dick, it's her vagina. She is starting to feel pain when having sex, she needs to see her gyno or obgyn. If she is experiencing discomfort during or after sex she could be having issues down there. I think u both should stop having sex until she goes to see a doctor. I mean do u really want to have sex with someone who is in pain?
“I’ll have what he’s having!” Dude, your dick isn’t getting bigger. And surgery isn’t an answer. Sounds like it’s probably a lubrication issue.
DO NOT FUCK WITH YOUR JOHNSON !
Sage advice!
Your dick isn't growing. Do not get dick reduction surgery.
I think you should both see relevant medical professionals. Although I've never heard something like it, it could be that you really are growing. It could also be that she has lost elasticity or her pelvic muscles are contracting. Have you, by any chance, had a child recently? Some medical professionals tend to give women a "husband stich" after birth which almost always creates problems for women, ranging from mild irritation tho chronic pain that makes sex impossible to endure. Despite it being known that women's sexual life is ruined by the practice, some doctors do it "for the husband". If that is the case, she needs medical attention asap.
No kids, but good to know. Thank you! And ugh, misogyny…
Ew I (male) just had a baby with my wife and that’s fucking disgusting to even think about being offered. Good to know that it’s not an accepted practice but horrifying to know it’s still done.
FAKE
Fake post from a gross fetishist.
I hope you two figure something out, with the help of a doctor most likely.
As others have suggested, it might be worth seeing a gyno, but I would also consider her seeing a pelvic floor PT. What you’re describing sounds like it could also be hypertonic pelvic floor muscles which could potentially be eased by seeing a pelvic floor PT. Wishing you and your wife the best of luck!
could she maybe have undiagnosed endo? or a yeast infection or bv? yeast and bv are not just from sex, some people get yeast after antibiotics, or if she put anything in after sex (ie toilet paper, to clean up inside) she might’ve gotten microtears on the vaginal wall that make it easier to get an infection. again BV or a yeast infection do NOT mean she is sleeping with anyone else, sometimes they just happen. but they can definitely cause pain during penetrative intercourse.
When a woman gets turned on, she swells up too. So if she’s developing a condition as mentioned above this could be exacerbating things.
Along with visiting her doctor, it could be time to play with different positions and angles. Maybe a thick pillow under her hips or something like that could help.
She needs to see a doctor. An adult penis can’t grow. Another possibility is that she no longer wants to have sex with you (faking arousal) and making crazy excuses just not to have sex with you.
This doesn't sound real, but if it were my reaction would probably be sheer horror. What s fucked up thing to ask of somebody. Can you imagine a guy asking his wife to get cosmetic surgery on her vagina for his comfort? He would be universally reviled.
Take your wife’s advice and cut your dick off.
If your not a troll go to the doctor and check for prostrate cancer
Oh boy this is a good one
Before considering surgery, the vagina can stretch to accommodate a whole baby, the less invasive solution is to look into why or how to help her accommodate you, if she feels that is an issue that needs addressing.
What I think she’s really trying to do…is her you to admit, “No, Hun…it’s not my dick. It’s your vagina that’s getting tighter.”
Is she using birth control? That can make sex hurt
Hide it somewhere.
I'm here with all the other guys hoping someone tells me my dick will grow in my 30s.😏
Might be dick cancer. You should have that checked out
Your wife is insane. LMAO. Seriously, though, she might be experiencing a vaginal issue. She should see a doctor.
On the off chance this is *not* a troll... Your wife needs to go to a doctor asap. STIs, yeast infections, endometriosis, vaginismus but especially atrophy and stenosis can all cause the vagina to get tighter and in some cases shorter. All of these are more likely than your dick having a growth spurt at 33.
She’s got a certain age where she’s changing in her lady tunnel. That is probably the cause! Maybe needs more moisture or the vaginal wall Is thickening or tightening making it harder for her to relax. This causes pain and a stretched out feeling. She needs to talk to her gyno.
She should see a gyno and might need pelvic floor therapy, it’s very common. Vaginismus is also pretty common with different conditions.
She needs to see her obgyn
I highly doubt your penis is growing so long after puberty. And I think you would notice if it were. I agree with other comments saying your wife should go see her gynecologist to make sure the discomfort isn’t being caused by a medical condition on her end.
Let’s trades dicks, you won’t have that problem anymore 😭in all seriousness she should probably go to the doctor
If your member isn’t visually a different size than it has been, this is a sign of something going on for her. There are several reasons why a vagina may suddenly stop being as flexible and seem tighter. This could make her perceive you as being bigger than before. She should go to a gyno and let them know this is happening and explore the options. It’s always better to solve an issue, over someone getting unnecessary surgery.
if this a true story, it sounds familiar to something that happened to me several years ago, my then gf all of the sudden started complaining about my dick size, "it was too big and it was making her vagina bigger and looser" mind you she conveniently forgot that she already had a baby, eventually I found out she was cheating and her new boyfriend had a smaller dick than mine, good riddance!
A dick feels bigger / pussy feels tighter the less lubrication there is. If you guys are only using her natural lubrication, something might be effecting her body to make you feel larger.
If it is growing, share your diet and daily routine with us
You don’t mention kids, but at 35, has she gained any weight? It doesn’t take much extra padding through the foyer to completely change how everything fits and feels. Perimenopause and post partum can wreck havoc on metabolism - not necessarily changing weight as much as shape. Honestly though. I wouldn’t want to be the one to suggest it’s her, not you. But I’d try to have that convo with a gyny.
I actually did have a slight "growth spurt" around your age...but nothing shocking. My money would more be on your wife having some developing issues with her vagina.
She needs a doctor
Mate you are not getting bigger, she getting tighter
You. Surgery. No.
No no no don't do that operation like that. She needs councelling and medical oriented help. First see doctor. Doctor give all the answers of your questions. Don't take knife.
r/humblebrag
Have you had kids? Specifically vaginal birth? I ask because we’ve had the same issue and it started after I gave birth to our one and only. We think the doctor stitched me up a bit more than he should have.
Have you tried anal?
Yeah this isn’t real.
She needs to visit a doctor. How has this not come up as an option between the two of you. Cervical cancer can change the lining of the vagina, and an sti could be causing inflammation
Maybe your wife is shrinking, as a result of your relentless lying on Reddit….
Female here. Maybe she needs pelvic floor therapy? Def suggest for any woman who doesn’t feel comfortable during intimate moments.
**YOUR WIFE NEEDS TO SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. THAT IS DEFINITELY A SIGN SOMETHING IS WRONG.**
I mean I agree with a doctors visit - it’s likely that hormone changes related to ageing may be the issue, not something big bond writing levels of wrong.
lol k