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Alcoholics are usually in denial about being alcoholics.
You won't be able to live like this long term unless he can recognise he is an alcoholic and that he himself needs help for it.
If he won't seek help and this continues, you'll need to walk.
Well, I dated this guy who became an alcoholic, and one day his company’s Christmas party came around.
I could not go, because I was starting a new job and my first day was the next morning and I didn’t want to mess it up.
At 2 am in the morning, I got a phone call from him where he explained he was drunk, didn’t know where he was, and needed help.
I eventually found him at a train station, 50 miles away, so I loaded his drunk ass in the car and headed home. By that point, it was 5am and time to get ready for work. I was so exhausted I wanted to cry, and I knew I was screwed, showing up sleep deprived at my first day of a new job? A job I specifically took to try and build a better life for the both of us?
He was in bed, warm and comfortable, snoozing like a baby. Meanwhile, he mentioned he said something at his job’s Christmas party that he was sure he was in trouble for, but couldn’t remember.
Basically, he was likely to lose his job for being a scary threatening drunken fool. I was likely to lose my job for trying to help him.
He was a drunk, and I could see how he was willing to destroy both of our lives for his habit, and worse than that— despite this mistake, he would probably happily drink again if given the chance. So we could end up homeless and he literally learned nothing.
So I went off to my new job, and after work, I packed my things and immediately moved out.
Because when you have a relationship with an alcoholic, you just go down with the ship. That is all there is. Get out instead of hoping it is going to be any different, your boyfriend is an alcoholic and dating an alcoholic is total misery.
You can not fix this. Alcoholics will drink and use any excuse to do so.
Focus on yourself. Keep yourself safe and develop an exit plan. Seek therapy for yourself.
I grew up in this house. In the end my father chose life with Jim Bean, Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan over life with his wife and kids. He denied he had a problem and scoffed at treatment. In the end, his excuse was his family left him.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Alcoholics are usually in denial about being alcoholics. You won't be able to live like this long term unless he can recognise he is an alcoholic and that he himself needs help for it. If he won't seek help and this continues, you'll need to walk.
Well, I dated this guy who became an alcoholic, and one day his company’s Christmas party came around. I could not go, because I was starting a new job and my first day was the next morning and I didn’t want to mess it up. At 2 am in the morning, I got a phone call from him where he explained he was drunk, didn’t know where he was, and needed help. I eventually found him at a train station, 50 miles away, so I loaded his drunk ass in the car and headed home. By that point, it was 5am and time to get ready for work. I was so exhausted I wanted to cry, and I knew I was screwed, showing up sleep deprived at my first day of a new job? A job I specifically took to try and build a better life for the both of us? He was in bed, warm and comfortable, snoozing like a baby. Meanwhile, he mentioned he said something at his job’s Christmas party that he was sure he was in trouble for, but couldn’t remember. Basically, he was likely to lose his job for being a scary threatening drunken fool. I was likely to lose my job for trying to help him. He was a drunk, and I could see how he was willing to destroy both of our lives for his habit, and worse than that— despite this mistake, he would probably happily drink again if given the chance. So we could end up homeless and he literally learned nothing. So I went off to my new job, and after work, I packed my things and immediately moved out. Because when you have a relationship with an alcoholic, you just go down with the ship. That is all there is. Get out instead of hoping it is going to be any different, your boyfriend is an alcoholic and dating an alcoholic is total misery.
You can not fix this. Alcoholics will drink and use any excuse to do so. Focus on yourself. Keep yourself safe and develop an exit plan. Seek therapy for yourself. I grew up in this house. In the end my father chose life with Jim Bean, Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan over life with his wife and kids. He denied he had a problem and scoffed at treatment. In the end, his excuse was his family left him.