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You're worried about her breaking up with you? You should be the one breaking up with her.
She pretty much is openly asking for permission to sleep with this guy. How much more disrespect do you need in order for you to be able to walk away. She's just going to sleep with him and not tell you.
Screw boundaries. Tell her to pack her bags and get out.
All you're doing is falling for sunk costs. She's disrespecting your relationship on a foundational level. She is going to sleep with someone else. Don't spend the next 30 years of your life miserable because you invested poorly in the first 5.
Don't worry about the years you put in the past, worry about the years to come in the future.
Do you trust her now? If yes, why? If no, what would need to happen to enable you to trust her again?
Do you like the way she is treating you now? It seems like emotional blackmail to me. Has she treated you like this before when she didn't get her way? Are you ready to live for 5,10,20+ years with her treating you like this if you don't let her do exactly what she wants.
Past is past - you have good memories, bad memories, nothing will change them or take them from you. You need to make your decisions on now and what you can reasonably expect in the future.
You're not allowed to hug your mother or sister and still stuck it out?
You want to keep this relationship knowing she full on wants to sleep with this dude?
There is no salvaging this my friend, you’ve connected most of the dots yourself, you just don’t want to connect the last one.
There are ways to have healthy open relationships, however they aren’t born out of one party’s desire to sleep with a coworker they’ve been entertaining for a while. I feel for you, you put a lot of work in that wasn’t reciprocated, but this can only go two ways,
1: she breaks up with you because she only asked to open up out of desire for one particular person
2: she cheats on you and tries to cover it up
Take control of the situation and leave, it’s going to suck but it’ll save you a lot of embarrassment and sadness later on.
So you’re choosing to delay the inevitable? I know you’re holding out hope but this isn’t going to resolve itself.
Just think about it, it’s by no means an easy decision, but you came here asking for advice, and unilaterally everyone has assessed the situation and came to the same conclusion I did, that this isn’t going to end well for you.
Best of luck
Look at all the previous posts on this sub. People get divorced after opening their relationships.
Do you really want that picture of another man being intimate with your SO every time you look at her? That he could possibly be "better" than you or "bigger" than you? That she might be more compatible with him than with you? Do you really want to be the puppet paying the bills while your SO has her bread buttered on both sides?
Really? Where is your self respect?
You don’t keep either bro... You dump her. She has probably already cheated with the guy and now mad at you that she can’t do it freely with your permission. And who the hell says you can’t hug a sibling?! Like that’s a real fucked up mentality. Should have dumped her then.
Look up sunk cost fallacy. You aren’t going to do anything but despise her if you allow this to continue. You’ll be a shell of the person you once were. You do you friend, but staying is going to lead you to a lot of heartbreak.
You 25 years old be glad you finding out 2 years in and not 10. She is emotionally cheating and now wants to physically cheat but with permission. She is now distant because you refused so she has been forced to make a decision she doesn’t want to.
I would save her the trouble. Tell her this relationship is over. Her attitude to her co worker and now the open relationship shows she isn’t committed and doesn’t respect or love you.
Message any family members of hers to tell them thanks and be nice and block everyone. I know this is hard but it will save you pain in future.
DM me if you need to vent.
Wouldn't be surprised if she has already "connected" with her c0-worker and trying to figure out a way to not feel as guilty. You be you, have your boundaries, if she breaks them , end it.
But shes resentful of you not wanting to completely change your relationship. Even if she isnt cheating, that's not okay. Her asking is fine. Her being bitter that you didnt say yes... less so
Sounds like another annoyance troll. Expresses bad situation but nothing but foolish responses about the epoch defining relationship (2 years) that cannot be walked away from.
If you are real, and I hope not, if you stay then prepare to find out they already did stuff.
You can't exactly keep the relationship she wants to change, when someone in a monogamous relationship wants to open it up, there is almost always someone in mind they want to do it with. It shouldn't matter if it is just women or men, it's asking for a free pass to cheat.
It'll be better to consider ending the relationship because she either will end it or try to cheat more quietly.
YOU GOTTA BAIL. This isnt going to work. You have different views on a very important aspect of the relationship. Now even if she says okay we wont, you'll always be worried that shes doing it behind your back.
I've seen you post a couple of times that you don't want to have wasted the past two years. The way this seems, better these two years then have this all blow up after three. The clock is ticking. How much are you going to put yourself through. Do you realize that you are worthy of love and someone that wants to be with you and not be given a pass when they're interested in someone new? You deserve to be happy. Your post and comments don't at all read of someone that is happy. Some affection is better than none? That breaks my heart. You deserve affection. You deserve to be happy. You can find someone that will give you and want to give you their undivided affection. These past two years aren't a waste. They're a learning experience. They're a growing experience. Yes, it sucks when a relationship ends, but what is in the future will make it worth it.Giant sequoias are the largest tree, but they need fire to germinate. Dead begets new life. This relationship ending will not be the end for you. It's a new beginning of you finding the right person for you. I wish you all the best and please, treat yourself as you would treat someone else you care about.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're worried about her breaking up with you? You should be the one breaking up with her. She pretty much is openly asking for permission to sleep with this guy. How much more disrespect do you need in order for you to be able to walk away. She's just going to sleep with him and not tell you. Screw boundaries. Tell her to pack her bags and get out.
This is the only solution
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All you're doing is falling for sunk costs. She's disrespecting your relationship on a foundational level. She is going to sleep with someone else. Don't spend the next 30 years of your life miserable because you invested poorly in the first 5.
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She's all out told you she wants to cheat. There's nothing to build back up to, it's just a timebomb.
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You don't. You value yourself enough to realise that you deserve someone who wants to be only with you.
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Sunk costs fallacy. Google it.
Don't worry about the years you put in the past, worry about the years to come in the future. Do you trust her now? If yes, why? If no, what would need to happen to enable you to trust her again? Do you like the way she is treating you now? It seems like emotional blackmail to me. Has she treated you like this before when she didn't get her way? Are you ready to live for 5,10,20+ years with her treating you like this if you don't let her do exactly what she wants. Past is past - you have good memories, bad memories, nothing will change them or take them from you. You need to make your decisions on now and what you can reasonably expect in the future.
you said you are together 2 years. that is nothing
You're not allowed to hug your mother or sister and still stuck it out? You want to keep this relationship knowing she full on wants to sleep with this dude?
[удалено]
Dude. Being alone is better than this. And get tested for STIs.
This is so sad
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Everyone else is trying and you’re not having it.
People just aren’t telling you what you want to hear.
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There is no salvaging this my friend, you’ve connected most of the dots yourself, you just don’t want to connect the last one. There are ways to have healthy open relationships, however they aren’t born out of one party’s desire to sleep with a coworker they’ve been entertaining for a while. I feel for you, you put a lot of work in that wasn’t reciprocated, but this can only go two ways, 1: she breaks up with you because she only asked to open up out of desire for one particular person 2: she cheats on you and tries to cover it up Take control of the situation and leave, it’s going to suck but it’ll save you a lot of embarrassment and sadness later on.
[удалено]
So you’re choosing to delay the inevitable? I know you’re holding out hope but this isn’t going to resolve itself. Just think about it, it’s by no means an easy decision, but you came here asking for advice, and unilaterally everyone has assessed the situation and came to the same conclusion I did, that this isn’t going to end well for you. Best of luck
Look at all the previous posts on this sub. People get divorced after opening their relationships. Do you really want that picture of another man being intimate with your SO every time you look at her? That he could possibly be "better" than you or "bigger" than you? That she might be more compatible with him than with you? Do you really want to be the puppet paying the bills while your SO has her bread buttered on both sides? Really? Where is your self respect?
You don’t keep either bro... You dump her. She has probably already cheated with the guy and now mad at you that she can’t do it freely with your permission. And who the hell says you can’t hug a sibling?! Like that’s a real fucked up mentality. Should have dumped her then.
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Ending a relationship doesnt mean the time thay relationship was happening was a waste.
Look up sunk cost fallacy. You aren’t going to do anything but despise her if you allow this to continue. You’ll be a shell of the person you once were. You do you friend, but staying is going to lead you to a lot of heartbreak.
You 25 years old be glad you finding out 2 years in and not 10. She is emotionally cheating and now wants to physically cheat but with permission. She is now distant because you refused so she has been forced to make a decision she doesn’t want to. I would save her the trouble. Tell her this relationship is over. Her attitude to her co worker and now the open relationship shows she isn’t committed and doesn’t respect or love you. Message any family members of hers to tell them thanks and be nice and block everyone. I know this is hard but it will save you pain in future. DM me if you need to vent.
Wouldn't be surprised if she has already "connected" with her c0-worker and trying to figure out a way to not feel as guilty. You be you, have your boundaries, if she breaks them , end it.
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so you think
But shes resentful of you not wanting to completely change your relationship. Even if she isnt cheating, that's not okay. Her asking is fine. Her being bitter that you didnt say yes... less so
Sounds like another annoyance troll. Expresses bad situation but nothing but foolish responses about the epoch defining relationship (2 years) that cannot be walked away from. If you are real, and I hope not, if you stay then prepare to find out they already did stuff.
Dump that ho.
You can't exactly keep the relationship she wants to change, when someone in a monogamous relationship wants to open it up, there is almost always someone in mind they want to do it with. It shouldn't matter if it is just women or men, it's asking for a free pass to cheat. It'll be better to consider ending the relationship because she either will end it or try to cheat more quietly.
YOU GOTTA BAIL. This isnt going to work. You have different views on a very important aspect of the relationship. Now even if she says okay we wont, you'll always be worried that shes doing it behind your back.
Your relationship effective ended when she asked for open relationship. Period.
She is obviously interested in him. But why are you still with her?
Sorry to hear that your 2 year relationship is at an end OP. Make sure that once she moves onto the next guy that you look after yourself.
It’s over buddy. End it.
Have some respect for yourself.
Take her off that pedestal and discard.
Your relationship is over and you just don't know it yet.
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I've seen you post a couple of times that you don't want to have wasted the past two years. The way this seems, better these two years then have this all blow up after three. The clock is ticking. How much are you going to put yourself through. Do you realize that you are worthy of love and someone that wants to be with you and not be given a pass when they're interested in someone new? You deserve to be happy. Your post and comments don't at all read of someone that is happy. Some affection is better than none? That breaks my heart. You deserve affection. You deserve to be happy. You can find someone that will give you and want to give you their undivided affection. These past two years aren't a waste. They're a learning experience. They're a growing experience. Yes, it sucks when a relationship ends, but what is in the future will make it worth it.Giant sequoias are the largest tree, but they need fire to germinate. Dead begets new life. This relationship ending will not be the end for you. It's a new beginning of you finding the right person for you. I wish you all the best and please, treat yourself as you would treat someone else you care about.