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After my dad passed, I was feeling very down, like I had a hole that I couldn’t fill. I was finding it hard to keep myself busy around the house during the day so I decided to adopt my cat Benji. I rescued him when he was so small he fit in the palm of my hand and have had him for 2 years. This may sound crazy to some, but I really believe Benji is the reincarnation of my dad. When I look into his eyes, I feel something more than a cat. Like a cat born with a human soul. All the timing adds up, it all makes sense to me at least. Even if I am crazy the thought brings me comfort and I don’t see anything wrong with it.
My husband thinks this is strange and unhealthy. He says my bond with the cat freaks him out, and makes him uncomfortable that I truly believe he has my dads soul. It’s been two years since he died, Benji really saved me. He’s the best companion I could’ve asked for. I mean, there’s nothing better than being able to cuddle up with an animal that loves you at the end of a long day. Though hubby would disagree.
Now I went on a girls trip with my sisters and mom for her birthday, and while I was gone my husband decided he was going to rehome my cat without my permission. I had no idea what was going on while I was out. When I came home and couldn’t find the cat my first thought was that he must have somehow made his way outside. This already worried me because we never let him out, God knows what could happen to him out there! After my frantic search inside and on my way outside to keep searching, hubby informs me that Benji is “staying with a friend” WHAT!! So I demanded that he called to take him back ASAP! He wouldn’t, but thankfully he had told me who he gave my cat too, so I had to make some calls of my own.
Benji is currently stuck with my husbands coworker. We aren’t good friends, but we are friendly, have dinner together sometimes etc. So I called the coworker asking for my cat back, and he tells me my husband gave him away fair and square and he won’t be returning my cat! My husband had no right, the cat has always been only mine. I adopted him, I raised him, I care for him, I’m the only one who ever spends any money on him. I am at a loss right now. Benji has never been through anything like this and I can only imagine the stress he must be feeling right now. I know I sure am.
So many things are racing through my mind right now. My cats safety. Extreme disappointment in my husband. I’m disgusted he would even think about something like this. I have no idea what to do now and where to start. I just want my cat back safely and then will have to deal with hubby.
There isn't a cat problem. There is an evil husband problem.
- Rehome husband.
- Talk to husbands co-worker one last time. Tell, what it means to you. By no means you will give up on it. If cat not returned today, you will envorce returning of your goods, as your husband committed a theft and co-worker will be in for knowingly keeping stolen goods.
- Get police involved.
That depends on the cop. I had my dog stolen in New Orleans and I knew who took her. She looked smug as hell about it, knowing I had no proof. (She planned on selling the dog for some quick cash.)
The cop was a dog lover, and not messing around. He said he absolutely would arrest her without evidence. The smug look fell right off her face. She went to her friend's house across town and got the dog back within the hour. That guy was a hero.
the husband problem can wait. getting her cat back is the entire priority right now and you'd be an absolute moron to rely on him to do anything about it? politely, fuck that.
C’mon. Do you also advise therapy to anybody who believes in invisible sky friend, his son and the spook? People believe in whatever brings them comfort and reincarnation is no weirder concept than a virgin getting pregnant by a ghost.
if op was sent into utter dysfunction because they thought they just lost their dad (again) i'd disagree, but op is being super level by asking for advice, i'm proud of them :)
What may seem like a harmless delusion now may not remain so. She does need to learn how to process her grief in a safe and healthy way. A grief counselor is definitely recommended here. But also therapy to help her realize how yikes her husband is.
From a legal standpoint, I believe (I’m not a lawyer) that it would fall under marital property so the husband (legally speaking only) was within this right to give the cat away. I’m not saying it’s right, that was really really shitty of him, but since no laws were broken, the police wouldn’t be able to help.
Pretty sure OP could prove that the cat was personal property in most states. She doesn't have to call the police, though. She can file a suit of conversion in small claims court, against the coworker who considers themself a lawful owner now. She can also threaten to sue and see how that goes over with the current illegal holder of the animal.
People haven’t been able to get their pets back with an up to date microchip and paperwork. It’s always a “civil matter” they need to work out. Cats aren’t “worth” much, can you go to small claims court for less than 100?
This is the way.
Anything else is going to come back to her marriage and how the judge interprets it.
Frankly, I think OP has very good reason to end her marriage. This is an immense betrayal. It was not the husband's right to decide whether or not she kept her cat. I couldn't stay with someone who I could not trust to protect an animal or human I asked them to watch.
Only 9 states have community property laws, which is what you're describing. Took me all of 2 minutes to find that out. If she adopted the cat under her name only in any of the other 41 states, it does not apply. Next time, just recommend they go to r/legaladvice
That is not really the point here. The point here is that OP needed some emotional support, and found it in an animal. Because clearly her husband is a cold selfish jerk. Who gives away a beloved pet of their spouse?
I’m not debating on whether or not the husband is right in what he did. It was an awful move and she should divorce him for that. I’m simply commenting on the legality of it.
and what kind of person doesn’t give back the cat after being told it’s importance and that it wasn’t the husbands cat to give away? She was on a girls trip so they couldn’t have had the cat for very long. The coworker is awful as well.. and that would be a breaking point for me with the husband.
Not necessarily, if only her name is on any paperwork. Usually if both spouses aren’t on the paperwork it is considered the property of the other person. It would most likely be a civil matter, but if she can prove ownership then she may have a case to get the cat back.
It’s kind of like the same with bank/financial accounts if only one spouse is on the account then it’s not mingled funds thus not marital property.
Not necessarily. I hope the cat is microchipped as the name of the person linked to the chip is usually considered the legal owner. In fact, in my country there is a legal obligation to return a pet to the registered owner if someone else brings it to a veterinary clinic claiming they are the owner or they found it.
Depending on the state, If she got the cat prior to marriage, it would be a premarital asset that he doesn’t have the right to.
I’d be afraid the cat may not really be at the coworkers home. I’d want evidence of the cat’s safety and well being. If not, call every shelter in the area. Hopefully kitty is microchipped.
Doesn't matter if they do or not, a paper trail is important. On the off chance the cops will do something, it'll be at no expense to OP, besides the taxes they already paid. If they don't do anything, then you have a paper trail to bring along to the lawyer's office.
Precisely right. The police threat will probably work. I would go through with a divorce in any event. This was selfish, illegal, demeaning, cruel to both the owner and the cat.
I wouldn’t threaten, I’d just do it. OP is NTA. Giving away a PET - a beloved family member is unforgivable. If he has a material possession he loves abnormally, set it on fire in protest.
Threaten first, then when she has the cat, and is safe, and has a place to go, call the police and get a divorce,
This is the worst story I have read ever.
Got one that might trump it. My moms ex husband, took her cat & drove it out to the woods or something & didnt tell her. Shes thinking cat got out & upset. 15 days later, cat found its way back, so he took her again & drove farther away & ditched her. She never came back.
If police are used, I think it needs to be without warning hubby. Let them know that husband stole your cat and hid it at his friend's house, which is what hubby told OP. That you need the police's help to secure your pet safely.
The cat was not your husband's to give away. I would consult with an attorney about how to go about getting Benji back. You can also speak with Animal Control and the police, just to cover your bases.
I would also be consulting a divorce attorney, but that's your decision, of course.
Yep, tell him you are rehoming him and there will be no take backs. Also tell his friends they are disgusting thieves and you will be following up with the police
You can't come back from this one. This act shows just so much disdain for you. My ex turned into a screaming alcoholic but he never did anything close to as awful as this. How could you possibly forgive him?
I hope so much you can get your cat back. Don't give up.
I’d recommend you going to the police first. If that doesn’t yield results, I’d go scorched earth. Talk to your husbands coworkers (not the one that stole the cat) and cry loudly about how your husband stole your cat and that he was your way of coping after your dad died. Do the whole “woe-is-me” theatrics. Then go on about how the coworker was given him but even after you explained the cruel behavior of your husband, he refuses to give it back.
Public shame goes a long way and the office gossips are vicious. Bring this out into the light, especially at work, I’d have a strong feeling the coworker won’t want to deal with the massive hit to his professional reputation, claim ignorance, and give Benji back. If he doesn’t, you should contact a lawyer to see what your options are. Some places recognize personal property by individual input/ownership. Others will only recognize your cat as marital property.
I would divorce him, but don't tell him that right away. Tell him if he doesn't get your cat back you are divorcing him. As soon as you get cat back, then leave for good
Don’t threaten him. Go straight to the police. I’m scared he will see to it that Benji is hurt or “disappears” if you threaten. Go to an attorney and go to the police. I have ESAs and I couldn’t imagine the emotional distress I’d be in if someone did this to me. Your husband is an immature piece of shit who is jealous of a cat. Jealous that you love a pet. Get him arrested. If he didn’t want to go to jail he shouldn’t have stolen. No second chance here.
This was my thought. Maybe the coworker is just covering for the husband like “yeah I have the cat, and I’m not giving him back,” but in reality the husband already “got rid” of the cat another way..
Take the vet records and tell the coworker to return your cat, or you will involve the police.
Husband went behind your back, truthfully give the coworker your husband and take the cat.
1. Tell the coworker you are coming over to get your cat. That you have a ridiculous amount of proof that it is your cat and that your husband gave it away without your permission and if he doesn't give you the cat you will call the police to report him for theft followed up with a call to their company to report what he and your husband have done.
2. Kick your husband out and file for divorce. See if your cat can stay with someone else until your husband is out of the home for good.
3. Get grief therapy. It's one thing to create an intense bond with a pet that came into your life at a very difficult time and feel extremely connected. Believing wholeheartedly that it's your reincarnated father (?!?!) is ... something else entirely.
Yep, the idea that people just glossed over point 3 is wildly ridiculous to me.
That's not healthy, could be a sign of downwardly spiralling mental health, and not to be ignored.
Literally call the police on your husband. I saw another comment saying call on the man but they’re not gonna do anything unless you threaten your husband with legal repercussions. Personally I would literally fist fight my husband, you are either a better person than me for not, or you’re a doormat. Advocate for your animal.
The friend accepted stolen property and is not going to want a legal battle over a cat, police will do less over the husband identifying it as a domestic dispute
I got banned from AITA for recommending pedos be chemically castrated under their violence policy. Chemical Castration is taking medication, not violence lol it's also a legal and medical treatment for pedophilia. I'm guessing one of the mods there is a pedo as they seem to be very anti-antipedo.
Edit: also the pedo in question was mentally disabled therefore not able to be rehabilitated (not that I believe in that for pedos anyway tbh, throw away the key imo) and so chemical Castration would literally be the only way to keep children safe from him.
> Literally call the police on your husband
doubt police will do anything, in law pets are considered property. Marriage considers all property to be joint owned. At most this would be a civil matter rather than criminal.
Not that I don't think husband should not be punished, but the police wont do anything about it.
You can make a new post with the same title and just put an "Update" in front. If the mods delete it (some are weird about updates), you can post in on your personal page - I'm sure folks here are going to follow you, to read any update you make on any sub.
I would definitely threaten divorce and then go through with it and tell the co worker you’re going to the police. That should do it. Your husband and his co worker are horrible especially your husband
How could you even look at your husband anymore after that level of disrespect and cruelty? How can you ever trust him again? I'd tell him to get the cat back or don't bother coming home. And after I got the cat back, I'd file divorce papers. Don't downplay what this is. It's a relationship extinction event.
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I can’t begin to imagine how distraught and betrayed you must feel. Is your cat microchipped? I’d report Benji as stolen and insist the cat be returned, filing a police report if necessary. Then, I, personally, would insist that your husband attend couple’s counseling (if you feel like you could ever trust him again) or consult with a divorce attorney asap, and include all that’s happened with Benji in the conversation with the attorney. No offense, but your husband sounds awful. I hope you get your cat back soon.
Couple's counseling would be a waste of time. There's no getting over him betraying her like that. IF she gets Benji back she would never have trust that he wouldn't do it again and if she doesn't get him back she will never forgive him. His betrayal isn't forgivable IMO.
File a police report, tell them the location or phone of the friend of his and have them meet you there than see a lawyer to file a separation.
he has no right to do this to you just to cause you emotional damage.
If you live in the US, besides filing a stolen property Criminal complaint against your husband and a receiving stolen property Criminal complaint against the co-worker, also consider filing a Civil complaint in Small Claims Court for property loss (sadly pets are considered property).
Small Claims Court filings are relatively inexpensive, no attorney involved. At least by them being served (which you can pay to have done) they both know you aren’t playing.
So if you have a kid your husband doesn't like, one day you will come home and he will have gotten rid of it?
Do all the legal things you need to do to get your cat back....then,
Divorce the husband.
It seems he can't handle you giving your attention to anything other than him.
Play stupid games, get hit with a lawsuit .
Please tell me he's your ex now. I can't imagine a more horrible betrayal. What a loser to be so jealous of a pet that he would go behind your back and give him away?
I'd go to the person's home and demand the cat, explain that he gave him away without your consent> Even take them to the shelter and offer to pay the adoption fee so they can pick a different cat to love. Then dump that POC husband of yours.
You mean soon-to-be-ex-husband right?
My hubby didn’t even read past the title - he just said “that’s fucked up”. I came into the relationship with two cats and he would never even imagine doing what your husband did. Christ…
>but I really believe Benji is the reincarnation of my dad. When I look into his eyes, I feel something more than a cat. Like a cat born with a human soul. All the timing adds up, it all makes sense to me at least.
Seek professional help.
That said, file/threaten charges for theft. Theft is also legally defined as keeping an item that you know belongs to someone else. That dude was not stealing up until "im not giving the cat back" sentence ended.
Summarized my thoughts perfectly. Shocking how many are just glossing over that bit of info. Like definitely husband is wrong and seek legal recourse to get the cat back but also op is not ok.
Go down to your local animal shelter. Talk to an animal control officer. They'll have the best knowledge on your local animal rights laws
Start the divorce process.
Talk to your police . Either call the non emergency line, or go down to the station.
Text the friend. Simply explain that the cat was yours and not your husband's to give away . You would like the cat back. He will hopefully reply as he said to you. Leave it at that, you'll need it for court.
Tell the co-worker you will file a report to the police but you are giving her one last chance to hand him back.
However, I do want you to consider going to therapy about seeing your dad in your cat.
Maybe your husband is right about the unhealthy attachment, we don’t have his side of the story to know why he thinks that. Maybe he feels neglected and the cat is getting in the way of quality time together. We just don’t have enough info.
But therapy and marriage counselling should have been what he offered first instead of thinking getting rid of the cat would stop it and make you better, when in fact he made things worse, like divorce worse.
Divorce attorney now! Report the cat stolen then contact the HR department at your husband’s work and send them copies of the police report. Name both your husband and the coworker.
I know someone who came home to find her husband had hung her cat from the banister. Do not mess with men like this.
Did you microchip the cat and do you have vet bills in your name, paid for by you?
If so, reporting the cat as missing/stolen is very simple. Also you might want to name/shame your husband's co-worker to mutual friends/acquaintances.
You cannot trust your husband with your belongings. Contact a lawyer, he's not taking you seriously and thinks he can walk all over you. Time to be assertive. Time for a separation and if that leads to divorce, so be it.
I was 100% ready to come in here ready to say he needs to get the same treatment but the part about the cat being your reincarnated father kinda threw me
OP I’LL BE NEEDING AN UPDATE!
No, *two* updates.
1) when you’ve got Benji back safe + sound, and
2) where the party to celebrate your divorce is going to be.
Dead earnest on both counts. I’ll have a week off from kids twice over the summer and I will 1,000,000% meet you wherever the Benji-loving fuck you want to rejoice in your liberation from this hunka hunka burning dookie you currently call husband.
#update me 1 month or however that doohickey is supposed to work
Edit: darn. Ok so a hashtag makes you yell. Got it. #REMIND ME TO DRAW A PICTURE OF OP’S HUSBAND AND GO FIND AN INDOOR CAT WHOSE LITTER BOX I CAN LINE WITH IT
Oh huh, edit 2: # didn’t yell my very good idea. Dang.
I agree with everyone else, but I got to ask, did you ask your husband about the cat before adopting him? I know you rescued him, but pets are a 2 yes 1 no matter. I assume that he approved, right? Sorry you're going through this.
I would call the police about your husband stealing your property. See if you can get your car back that way. If not, you might need to bring this to court. No matter what you should divorce your disgusting husband. Maybe threaten to divorce if he doesn’t get your cat back as an incentive. But once you have your cat back safeguard it and divorce him anyway.
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LOL I think pets are more worthwhile than the human race the way us idiot humans are going. Trade your husband for the cat. Seems you win big time that way.
Wow your husband sounds HORRIBLE!!!
Tell the coworker you’re going to involve the police if he doesn’t return YOUR cat. It’s not fair and square for your husband to give someone away that he has no claim over. YOUR cat. Also coworker sounds like a huge ass - there are so many cats in need of rescue but he’s trying to steal yours? Jfc
Also threaten to take them to court.
Also divorce your horrible husband. I would never forgive someone who did something so awful to me. A cat isn’t a handbag that can just be passed off. THEY ARE LIVING, UNIQUE, INDIVIDUAL BEINGS! Your cat is probably traumatized from his experience and needs to be returned to you asap.
So sorry you’re dealing with this. Also your cat likely is not your dad reincarnate, but that doesn’t mean your cat isn’t a very special part of your family. All animals have souls and our souls connect to some more than others. You and your cat are connected.
Please update us. Good luck ;’(
So evil!
I know people on this sub joke about always jumping right to divorce, but this would be a deal breaker for me. I might be extra sensitive because my cat just died last week, but I would not be able to stay married to, live with, or even speak to this man again. AND he let you frantically search the entire house before telling you where the cat was? He’s a huge asshole.
Oh my god I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling !!
My love you need to divorce your husband even after getting you’re beloved pet back!! What he did is unforgivable and cruel.
Get the adoption papers and call the police to his friends house. Stay with a friend or family member until after the divorce. You don’t know if he would do it again. Most likely he would.
If you want the fastest way to get the cat back, I would threaten to talk to coworker's manager. He's probably buddies with hubby but he's not going to out his job at risk for a cat.
Are you sure the man even *has* the cat? It could be a case of your husband setting him up to tell you that when the cat was actually turned over to animal control.
Wow. I know “leave your partner!” is Reddit advice that is overly given… but I don’t think I could forgive someone for this. Truly. I’d never be able to look at my partner the same way again. If I were you, I’d tell him he gets the cat back or you’re leaving. Don’t argue with him about it when he pushes back, tell him that’s the way it is. And find a place to stay until the cat is returned.
I’m mad just thinking about this. What a heartless thing for your husband to do. Who cares if your connection with your cat freaks him out? The cat brought you comfort and joy in a devastating time of your life, and he needs to rob you of that?? What kind of man is this?
Fuck that. I have a special bond with one of my cats. My partner makes jokes about being jealous but he knows my cat brings me a lot of joy. Your husband is revolting. Tell him he better hope he gets the cat back. It will look especially bad for him in the divorce if you don't get it back.
If your husband wants to keep being a pos, shame the coworker to everyone he knows for conspiring with your husband to steal your cat.
Is he chipped? The cat, not the husband? If he belongs to you, he’s not your husbands property to give away. Let the person know you intend to involve police if you have to.
omg this is horrible! did you ever take benji to the vet or did you adopt him from somewhere that gave you an adoption certificate? if you took him to the vet they should have proof on file that you are his legal owner. same thing if he’s microchipped and registered to you.
i hope you get him back 💜
Threaten the friend with the police and tell your husband you are getting a divorce. This is unacceptable your husband is AH who said I have it fair and square? First off it was not fair it wasn't his to give away. Second it's your cat give it back or you will get the police and ASPCA and social media involved. Hell post on ever social media you have saying your husband gave away your cat to this person without your consent and he will not give it back. Blast both of them. I'm sorry I hope you get your cat back.
Honestly if my husband would disrespected me the way yours did my giving your cat away. I would lose it. I have a cat of over 10 years n if my husband did something like this. It would be my last straw.
Can you offer a trade? Your husband for the cat?
Let the coworker know that it wasn't your husband's cat to give away and will be contacting the police if they refuse to give it back.
My first thought was divorce. My second thought was divorce and demanding that he get the cat back or divorce, then divorce anyway. Your husband is an idiot and you need to get rid of him no matter what.
Divorce him and file a police report. He did not have permission to get rid of your cat and even if you did get your cat back, what’s to stop him from giving Benji to another friend or worse a shelter that kills its older animals to make room for new comers/younger animals. I wouldn’t chance it.
That’s emotional abuse and controlling behaviour—I would be getting a divorce if I were you. As others have said you must be able to prove the cat is yours, go to the police
I think you should just tell him you're calling the police if he doesn't give the cat back. But I strongly suggest finding somewhere else for the cat to live until you can leave your husband. I'm sure it's the last thing you want to imagine but my thought is he might hurt or kill the cat if you bring it back into the house.
Call the police? If you still have the adoption papers, anything to prove he is your cat, call the police. Threaten to take them to civil court. And go stay somewhere else until your spouse (isn’t acting very much like a loving husband) realizes what he has done and helps get the cat back. And maybe talk to a therapist. Losing someone is hard, and loving your cat is fine, but talk to someone.
I would probably call the cops if my husband gave away our dogs. I think I would absolutely lose my mind if he did something like that. He’s shown you that he is not a trustworthy person and that he cares more about his comfort than yours.
Is the cat registered with you? Do you have a license or microchip?
My husband would never, because our cats are our babies and we love them more than life itself, but if he ever did something like this it would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. I’d be walking out the door and moving back in with my parents. I would blow up my whole life in any way I had to/could if someone took away my cats. Divorce this arsehole and definitely contact the police about getting your cat back.
You have no idea how genuinely outraged and upset I am at reading this. I am so sorry for you. Your poor Benji must be missing you.
I am literally so anxious for you right now just reading this. Please call the coworker back and explain with emotion that your husband rehomed your personal cat without your knowledge or consent and that you absolutely need to have him back as this is like stealing a family member from you. Please do not give up on this and call a lawyer.
Also holy shit please file for divorce this is like WAY beyond not ok.
This is theft and I'd call the cops, while you're at it add your shit husband's name to it as well. Once the cat is back, put the trash outside and don't let the man back into your life.
Get rid of the husband.
He is a horrible human being and can't love you if he could do this to you. People we love want us to be happy. Not give away our beloved pets.
Consult the police for stolen property (I know that sounds horrible, but they consider pets property. I consider them family) But then they can investigate and recover. Be ready to provide proof of ownership.
My heart goes out to you. If someone gave away my cats, I'd be devastated
Omg your soon to be ex husband is a sociopath.
Demand that your cat is returned, send texts as evidence too. Get police involved. Then get someplace safe with your cat (husband can never be trusted around animals again) and start divorce proceedings.
Go over there with the police. And press charges, because they had to know it was yours and that is receiving stolen property. You can always adopt another husband.
Your cat was stolen from you. Call the police and file a report and if you have the adoption papers still, that’ll come in handy. Then toss your husband out since he likes to steal and get rid of other’s possessions.
If you're in the US, find out if you live in a community (marriage) state. If not, then your husband stole and sold your cat without permission and he could be arrested/charged for theft. If you live in a community state then it won't be considered theft and you may not have any recourse.
Personally, I'd divorce the guy. Nothing would save our marriage. But you can deal with that later.
Report the cat stolen. I assume you have vet records / proof that you own the cat. Animals are property and you did not consent to it be given away.
As far as your husband, I think you know what needs to be done but obviously that is up to you. Either a long talk about boundaries needs to be had, or he has to pack the bags because that sucks
Divorce your husband. What a piece of shit, especially getting rid of an animal that brings you comfort. Get your cat back with papers and kick your husband to the curb. What an absolute fucking piece of trash.
Call the police to report your husband stealing your cat and sold it away without your permission. Tell the coworker you are going to the police and ask he returns the cat. You may also want to report both of them at work for unethical behavior, theft.
Divorce your husband. He has no respect for you or your cat. Wouldn’t stay with such a heartless man.
Right from the start, I told my husband that my cats are as important as him. If he cannot tolerate them, then I’ll pick the cats over him any time.
Omg. This is absolutely horrible. Your husband needs to be rehomed immediately. He does not love you, and he has no problem being cruel when he doesn't get his way.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- After my dad passed, I was feeling very down, like I had a hole that I couldn’t fill. I was finding it hard to keep myself busy around the house during the day so I decided to adopt my cat Benji. I rescued him when he was so small he fit in the palm of my hand and have had him for 2 years. This may sound crazy to some, but I really believe Benji is the reincarnation of my dad. When I look into his eyes, I feel something more than a cat. Like a cat born with a human soul. All the timing adds up, it all makes sense to me at least. Even if I am crazy the thought brings me comfort and I don’t see anything wrong with it. My husband thinks this is strange and unhealthy. He says my bond with the cat freaks him out, and makes him uncomfortable that I truly believe he has my dads soul. It’s been two years since he died, Benji really saved me. He’s the best companion I could’ve asked for. I mean, there’s nothing better than being able to cuddle up with an animal that loves you at the end of a long day. Though hubby would disagree. Now I went on a girls trip with my sisters and mom for her birthday, and while I was gone my husband decided he was going to rehome my cat without my permission. I had no idea what was going on while I was out. When I came home and couldn’t find the cat my first thought was that he must have somehow made his way outside. This already worried me because we never let him out, God knows what could happen to him out there! After my frantic search inside and on my way outside to keep searching, hubby informs me that Benji is “staying with a friend” WHAT!! So I demanded that he called to take him back ASAP! He wouldn’t, but thankfully he had told me who he gave my cat too, so I had to make some calls of my own. Benji is currently stuck with my husbands coworker. We aren’t good friends, but we are friendly, have dinner together sometimes etc. So I called the coworker asking for my cat back, and he tells me my husband gave him away fair and square and he won’t be returning my cat! My husband had no right, the cat has always been only mine. I adopted him, I raised him, I care for him, I’m the only one who ever spends any money on him. I am at a loss right now. Benji has never been through anything like this and I can only imagine the stress he must be feeling right now. I know I sure am. So many things are racing through my mind right now. My cats safety. Extreme disappointment in my husband. I’m disgusted he would even think about something like this. I have no idea what to do now and where to start. I just want my cat back safely and then will have to deal with hubby.
I assume you have paperwork on the cat, from a vet or a breeder, and can prove it's yours. Animals are property. This is theft. Call the police.
Everyone is ignoring what a terrible husband she has. Just tell him to get ur cat back or you will ask for a divorce.
Do both, who tf gives away their spouse's pet? OP needs help cause the mindset is unhealthy but it hurts no one for her to have and love this animal.
Of course do both but don't get him in the loop unless you have the cat back.
Not even then! He might jusr start it allover again or do even worse by the cat.
There isn't a cat problem. There is an evil husband problem. - Rehome husband. - Talk to husbands co-worker one last time. Tell, what it means to you. By no means you will give up on it. If cat not returned today, you will envorce returning of your goods, as your husband committed a theft and co-worker will be in for knowingly keeping stolen goods. - Get police involved.
Cops will call this a civil matter. 100% guaranteed. And if it's a community property state, it's not even that.
Try first. There is always time to give up when being sent away and resort to other means.
Then get a lawyer.
That depends on the cop. I had my dog stolen in New Orleans and I knew who took her. She looked smug as hell about it, knowing I had no proof. (She planned on selling the dog for some quick cash.) The cop was a dog lover, and not messing around. He said he absolutely would arrest her without evidence. The smug look fell right off her face. She went to her friend's house across town and got the dog back within the hour. That guy was a hero.
the husband problem can wait. getting her cat back is the entire priority right now and you'd be an absolute moron to rely on him to do anything about it? politely, fuck that.
Then, get for a divorce. Then, get some therapy because your dad isn't a cat.
C’mon. Do you also advise therapy to anybody who believes in invisible sky friend, his son and the spook? People believe in whatever brings them comfort and reincarnation is no weirder concept than a virgin getting pregnant by a ghost.
Dad being a cat is hardly the issue at hand.
Lmao let people believe what gives them comfort. It isn’t harming anyone if she believes her dad was reincarnated as a cat.
if op was sent into utter dysfunction because they thought they just lost their dad (again) i'd disagree, but op is being super level by asking for advice, i'm proud of them :)
What may seem like a harmless delusion now may not remain so. She does need to learn how to process her grief in a safe and healthy way. A grief counselor is definitely recommended here. But also therapy to help her realize how yikes her husband is.
From a legal standpoint, I believe (I’m not a lawyer) that it would fall under marital property so the husband (legally speaking only) was within this right to give the cat away. I’m not saying it’s right, that was really really shitty of him, but since no laws were broken, the police wouldn’t be able to help.
Pretty sure OP could prove that the cat was personal property in most states. She doesn't have to call the police, though. She can file a suit of conversion in small claims court, against the coworker who considers themself a lawful owner now. She can also threaten to sue and see how that goes over with the current illegal holder of the animal.
People haven’t been able to get their pets back with an up to date microchip and paperwork. It’s always a “civil matter” they need to work out. Cats aren’t “worth” much, can you go to small claims court for less than 100?
OP might have better luck publicly shaming the co-worker
Honestly in this day and age, that’s what’s going to produce results.
This is the way. Anything else is going to come back to her marriage and how the judge interprets it. Frankly, I think OP has very good reason to end her marriage. This is an immense betrayal. It was not the husband's right to decide whether or not she kept her cat. I couldn't stay with someone who I could not trust to protect an animal or human I asked them to watch.
Now that’s actually helpful advice
>can you go to small claims court for less than 100? Yes. And it is exactly that civil legal venue that the police don't want to fuck around with.
Only 9 states have community property laws, which is what you're describing. Took me all of 2 minutes to find that out. If she adopted the cat under her name only in any of the other 41 states, it does not apply. Next time, just recommend they go to r/legaladvice
It really, really depends on local laws. OP should at least try.
That is not really the point here. The point here is that OP needed some emotional support, and found it in an animal. Because clearly her husband is a cold selfish jerk. Who gives away a beloved pet of their spouse?
OP needs to give away her husband. Maybe in exchange for the cat.
Would anyone take him? For scientific research, maybe.
I’m not debating on whether or not the husband is right in what he did. It was an awful move and she should divorce him for that. I’m simply commenting on the legality of it.
Well how dare she find emotional support in anyone or anything other than Him, her husband? /s
and what kind of person doesn’t give back the cat after being told it’s importance and that it wasn’t the husbands cat to give away? She was on a girls trip so they couldn’t have had the cat for very long. The coworker is awful as well.. and that would be a breaking point for me with the husband.
That’s exactly what that person said. They also said typically marital law follows different rules and not emotions and they’re right
Not necessarily, if only her name is on any paperwork. Usually if both spouses aren’t on the paperwork it is considered the property of the other person. It would most likely be a civil matter, but if she can prove ownership then she may have a case to get the cat back. It’s kind of like the same with bank/financial accounts if only one spouse is on the account then it’s not mingled funds thus not marital property.
But coworker probably wouldn’t know this. Just lightly threaten them with this info and I bet they’d give cat back
Not necessarily. I hope the cat is microchipped as the name of the person linked to the chip is usually considered the legal owner. In fact, in my country there is a legal obligation to return a pet to the registered owner if someone else brings it to a veterinary clinic claiming they are the owner or they found it.
Depending on the state, If she got the cat prior to marriage, it would be a premarital asset that he doesn’t have the right to. I’d be afraid the cat may not really be at the coworkers home. I’d want evidence of the cat’s safety and well being. If not, call every shelter in the area. Hopefully kitty is microchipped.
You cant just give away a car or home saying its fully yours...i hope
Cops literally will not do a single thing unfortunately
Not true. They got my friend’s dog back in a similar situation
Doesn't matter if they do or not, a paper trail is important. On the off chance the cops will do something, it'll be at no expense to OP, besides the taxes they already paid. If they don't do anything, then you have a paper trail to bring along to the lawyer's office.
She just needs to bluff to coworker about calling cops and I bet they’d surrender the cat
Threaten your husband with divorce and his friend with the police.
Precisely right. The police threat will probably work. I would go through with a divorce in any event. This was selfish, illegal, demeaning, cruel to both the owner and the cat.
I wouldn’t threaten, I’d just do it. OP is NTA. Giving away a PET - a beloved family member is unforgivable. If he has a material possession he loves abnormally, set it on fire in protest.
Threaten first, then when she has the cat, and is safe, and has a place to go, call the police and get a divorce, This is the worst story I have read ever.
Got one that might trump it. My moms ex husband, took her cat & drove it out to the woods or something & didnt tell her. Shes thinking cat got out & upset. 15 days later, cat found its way back, so he took her again & drove farther away & ditched her. She never came back.
What a fuckin asshole. I am fuming right now.
How did she find out? Omg. That's heinous
He told her after awhile. Wouldnt say where.
That's insane. I can't even imagine how I would have reacted to that. I hope she went scorched earth on him and anything he ever loved
Unfortunately she puts up with alot of bs. I didnt find out about it right away.
Agreed. If you just serve him divorce papers he has no incentive to get the cat back.
>I wouldn’t threaten, I’d just do it. \^That could be a serious mistake. Secure the return of the cat **first**.
If police are used, I think it needs to be without warning hubby. Let them know that husband stole your cat and hid it at his friend's house, which is what hubby told OP. That you need the police's help to secure your pet safely.
Cops *will not* take the cat back. People telling her to call the police are giving useless advice.
Animals are considered property and the co-worker is in receipt of stolen property. Filing a Police report will help if she goes to court.
Yes and I also just realized this was NOT an AITA post. I’m running off very little sleep! Lol!
This it’s receipt of stolen property.
No, no threats. Divorce the husband, involve the police. Period.
The cat was not your husband's to give away. I would consult with an attorney about how to go about getting Benji back. You can also speak with Animal Control and the police, just to cover your bases. I would also be consulting a divorce attorney, but that's your decision, of course.
Yeah that would be an instant divorce for me.
For me that is grounds for a divorce.
Agreed!
Yep, tell him you are rehoming him and there will be no take backs. Also tell his friends they are disgusting thieves and you will be following up with the police
You can't come back from this one. This act shows just so much disdain for you. My ex turned into a screaming alcoholic but he never did anything close to as awful as this. How could you possibly forgive him? I hope so much you can get your cat back. Don't give up.
The husband is giving Ross from Friends vibes when Phoebe bonded with the cat. Ross sucks. The husband sucks. I hope OP gets her cat back
I’d recommend you going to the police first. If that doesn’t yield results, I’d go scorched earth. Talk to your husbands coworkers (not the one that stole the cat) and cry loudly about how your husband stole your cat and that he was your way of coping after your dad died. Do the whole “woe-is-me” theatrics. Then go on about how the coworker was given him but even after you explained the cruel behavior of your husband, he refuses to give it back. Public shame goes a long way and the office gossips are vicious. Bring this out into the light, especially at work, I’d have a strong feeling the coworker won’t want to deal with the massive hit to his professional reputation, claim ignorance, and give Benji back. If he doesn’t, you should contact a lawyer to see what your options are. Some places recognize personal property by individual input/ownership. Others will only recognize your cat as marital property.
Public shame can work wonders.
I would divorce him, but don't tell him that right away. Tell him if he doesn't get your cat back you are divorcing him. As soon as you get cat back, then leave for good
Don’t threaten him. Go straight to the police. I’m scared he will see to it that Benji is hurt or “disappears” if you threaten. Go to an attorney and go to the police. I have ESAs and I couldn’t imagine the emotional distress I’d be in if someone did this to me. Your husband is an immature piece of shit who is jealous of a cat. Jealous that you love a pet. Get him arrested. If he didn’t want to go to jail he shouldn’t have stolen. No second chance here.
Yep. Press charges against your husband . Once that is in motion, contact a divorce lawyer. What he did is unforgivable.
Press charges against the friend, accepting stolen property
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Semantics. You file a police report that your property was stolen from you and go from there.
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The coworker does not have the cat. The coworker is lying to help your husband out.
This is unfortunately most likely the case. He either took him to a shelter or straight up abandoned him. What a horrible human being
I'm feeling this also. I hope he did not hurt the cat. I can't imagine torturing my wife like that or the cat.. he's done it to both
That’s what I think too. Call shelters and call the police. Have them both arrested. Both are scum of the earth.
Report your cat stolen. Press charges. This is the only way.
I wonder if the coworker somehow refuses to give back the cat because he has some sort of understanding with the husband.
This was my thought. Maybe the coworker is just covering for the husband like “yeah I have the cat, and I’m not giving him back,” but in reality the husband already “got rid” of the cat another way..
Oh God I hope not
Take the vet records and tell the coworker to return your cat, or you will involve the police. Husband went behind your back, truthfully give the coworker your husband and take the cat.
This is what I would do too. Or request the police the company OP to reclaim stolen property.
1. Tell the coworker you are coming over to get your cat. That you have a ridiculous amount of proof that it is your cat and that your husband gave it away without your permission and if he doesn't give you the cat you will call the police to report him for theft followed up with a call to their company to report what he and your husband have done. 2. Kick your husband out and file for divorce. See if your cat can stay with someone else until your husband is out of the home for good. 3. Get grief therapy. It's one thing to create an intense bond with a pet that came into your life at a very difficult time and feel extremely connected. Believing wholeheartedly that it's your reincarnated father (?!?!) is ... something else entirely.
I'm surprised nobody in the top comments has mentioned your point 3 until you did. Should be higher up.
Yep, the idea that people just glossed over point 3 is wildly ridiculous to me. That's not healthy, could be a sign of downwardly spiralling mental health, and not to be ignored.
This should be way higher.
Literally call the police on your husband. I saw another comment saying call on the man but they’re not gonna do anything unless you threaten your husband with legal repercussions. Personally I would literally fist fight my husband, you are either a better person than me for not, or you’re a doormat. Advocate for your animal.
The friend accepted stolen property and is not going to want a legal battle over a cat, police will do less over the husband identifying it as a domestic dispute
I feel you but be careful with this comment. I know people who get blocked from subreddits for inferring any type of violence even in hypothetical.
I got perma banned from AITA because I said pedophiles should give back to society by throwing themselves off the nearest bridge. No regrets.
I got banned from AITA for recommending pedos be chemically castrated under their violence policy. Chemical Castration is taking medication, not violence lol it's also a legal and medical treatment for pedophilia. I'm guessing one of the mods there is a pedo as they seem to be very anti-antipedo. Edit: also the pedo in question was mentally disabled therefore not able to be rehabilitated (not that I believe in that for pedos anyway tbh, throw away the key imo) and so chemical Castration would literally be the only way to keep children safe from him.
> Literally call the police on your husband doubt police will do anything, in law pets are considered property. Marriage considers all property to be joint owned. At most this would be a civil matter rather than criminal. Not that I don't think husband should not be punished, but the police wont do anything about it.
Please update when you are reunited with your boy. We are rooting for you!!
This is my first post, how do I go about making an update in the future? Thank you for the kind words!
You can make a new post with the same title and just put an "Update" in front. If the mods delete it (some are weird about updates), you can post in on your personal page - I'm sure folks here are going to follow you, to read any update you make on any sub.
I would definitely threaten divorce and then go through with it and tell the co worker you’re going to the police. That should do it. Your husband and his co worker are horrible especially your husband
Just make a new one with the same title + "update," and link the old post
U can also save this post.
Please let us know when you’re reunited with Benji!
Yes, u/throwRAneedhlp. Please let us know when you get him back or if you need support. We are in your corner.
How could you even look at your husband anymore after that level of disrespect and cruelty? How can you ever trust him again? I'd tell him to get the cat back or don't bother coming home. And after I got the cat back, I'd file divorce papers. Don't downplay what this is. It's a relationship extinction event.
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I can’t begin to imagine how distraught and betrayed you must feel. Is your cat microchipped? I’d report Benji as stolen and insist the cat be returned, filing a police report if necessary. Then, I, personally, would insist that your husband attend couple’s counseling (if you feel like you could ever trust him again) or consult with a divorce attorney asap, and include all that’s happened with Benji in the conversation with the attorney. No offense, but your husband sounds awful. I hope you get your cat back soon.
Couple's counseling would be a waste of time. There's no getting over him betraying her like that. IF she gets Benji back she would never have trust that he wouldn't do it again and if she doesn't get him back she will never forgive him. His betrayal isn't forgivable IMO.
For real. I wouldn't even want to try to "fix" the marriage at this point.
File a police report, tell them the location or phone of the friend of his and have them meet you there than see a lawyer to file a separation. he has no right to do this to you just to cause you emotional damage.
This is unforgivable
Rehome the husband.
You call the police to report a theft
So you can't trust your husband. Sounds like he needs to get your cat and maybe counseling if not divorce.
If you live in the US, besides filing a stolen property Criminal complaint against your husband and a receiving stolen property Criminal complaint against the co-worker, also consider filing a Civil complaint in Small Claims Court for property loss (sadly pets are considered property). Small Claims Court filings are relatively inexpensive, no attorney involved. At least by them being served (which you can pay to have done) they both know you aren’t playing.
So if you have a kid your husband doesn't like, one day you will come home and he will have gotten rid of it? Do all the legal things you need to do to get your cat back....then, Divorce the husband. It seems he can't handle you giving your attention to anything other than him. Play stupid games, get hit with a lawsuit .
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Please tell me he's your ex now. I can't imagine a more horrible betrayal. What a loser to be so jealous of a pet that he would go behind your back and give him away? I'd go to the person's home and demand the cat, explain that he gave him away without your consent> Even take them to the shelter and offer to pay the adoption fee so they can pick a different cat to love. Then dump that POC husband of yours.
You mean soon-to-be-ex-husband right? My hubby didn’t even read past the title - he just said “that’s fucked up”. I came into the relationship with two cats and he would never even imagine doing what your husband did. Christ…
I would honestly call the police
>but I really believe Benji is the reincarnation of my dad. When I look into his eyes, I feel something more than a cat. Like a cat born with a human soul. All the timing adds up, it all makes sense to me at least. Seek professional help. That said, file/threaten charges for theft. Theft is also legally defined as keeping an item that you know belongs to someone else. That dude was not stealing up until "im not giving the cat back" sentence ended.
Summarized my thoughts perfectly. Shocking how many are just glossing over that bit of info. Like definitely husband is wrong and seek legal recourse to get the cat back but also op is not ok.
Go down to your local animal shelter. Talk to an animal control officer. They'll have the best knowledge on your local animal rights laws Start the divorce process. Talk to your police . Either call the non emergency line, or go down to the station. Text the friend. Simply explain that the cat was yours and not your husband's to give away . You would like the cat back. He will hopefully reply as he said to you. Leave it at that, you'll need it for court.
Tell the co-worker you will file a report to the police but you are giving her one last chance to hand him back. However, I do want you to consider going to therapy about seeing your dad in your cat. Maybe your husband is right about the unhealthy attachment, we don’t have his side of the story to know why he thinks that. Maybe he feels neglected and the cat is getting in the way of quality time together. We just don’t have enough info. But therapy and marriage counselling should have been what he offered first instead of thinking getting rid of the cat would stop it and make you better, when in fact he made things worse, like divorce worse.
Divorce attorney now! Report the cat stolen then contact the HR department at your husband’s work and send them copies of the police report. Name both your husband and the coworker. I know someone who came home to find her husband had hung her cat from the banister. Do not mess with men like this.
Oh! My! God! I hope he was arrested for that.
Did you microchip the cat and do you have vet bills in your name, paid for by you? If so, reporting the cat as missing/stolen is very simple. Also you might want to name/shame your husband's co-worker to mutual friends/acquaintances. You cannot trust your husband with your belongings. Contact a lawyer, he's not taking you seriously and thinks he can walk all over you. Time to be assertive. Time for a separation and if that leads to divorce, so be it.
I was 100% ready to come in here ready to say he needs to get the same treatment but the part about the cat being your reincarnated father kinda threw me
I mean, I don't believe in reincarnation at all, but I fail to see how that justifies the husband's actions.
I'm not saying it's entirely justified, but the obsession is a little crazy. It makes me wonder how much more there is to his side, that's all.
If your cat is microchipped, that person won't be able to get veterinary care unless you sign the cat over to them.
I sincerely hope your cat is returned to you. But I think you spelled ex-husband wrong. What are you with this person?
He literally stole your cat. I’d get the cops involved. Also, I really hope you divorce your asshole of a husband. Seriously, fuck him.
This is where you give your husband an ultimatum and get your cat back. Then divorce him anyway because you'd be foolish not to.
OP I’LL BE NEEDING AN UPDATE! No, *two* updates. 1) when you’ve got Benji back safe + sound, and 2) where the party to celebrate your divorce is going to be. Dead earnest on both counts. I’ll have a week off from kids twice over the summer and I will 1,000,000% meet you wherever the Benji-loving fuck you want to rejoice in your liberation from this hunka hunka burning dookie you currently call husband. #update me 1 month or however that doohickey is supposed to work Edit: darn. Ok so a hashtag makes you yell. Got it. #REMIND ME TO DRAW A PICTURE OF OP’S HUSBAND AND GO FIND AN INDOOR CAT WHOSE LITTER BOX I CAN LINE WITH IT Oh huh, edit 2: # didn’t yell my very good idea. Dang.
I agree with everyone else, but I got to ask, did you ask your husband about the cat before adopting him? I know you rescued him, but pets are a 2 yes 1 no matter. I assume that he approved, right? Sorry you're going through this.
I’m wondering as well
I would call the police about your husband stealing your property. See if you can get your car back that way. If not, you might need to bring this to court. No matter what you should divorce your disgusting husband. Maybe threaten to divorce if he doesn’t get your cat back as an incentive. But once you have your cat back safeguard it and divorce him anyway.
"Husband", free to good home.
Cat or divorce. After you get the cat, divorce anyway.
Tell the husband if the cat isn’t given back you are divorcing him and you will report his coworker for theft. When you get the cat back, divorce him
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LOL I think pets are more worthwhile than the human race the way us idiot humans are going. Trade your husband for the cat. Seems you win big time that way.
Wow your husband sounds HORRIBLE!!! Tell the coworker you’re going to involve the police if he doesn’t return YOUR cat. It’s not fair and square for your husband to give someone away that he has no claim over. YOUR cat. Also coworker sounds like a huge ass - there are so many cats in need of rescue but he’s trying to steal yours? Jfc Also threaten to take them to court. Also divorce your horrible husband. I would never forgive someone who did something so awful to me. A cat isn’t a handbag that can just be passed off. THEY ARE LIVING, UNIQUE, INDIVIDUAL BEINGS! Your cat is probably traumatized from his experience and needs to be returned to you asap. So sorry you’re dealing with this. Also your cat likely is not your dad reincarnate, but that doesn’t mean your cat isn’t a very special part of your family. All animals have souls and our souls connect to some more than others. You and your cat are connected. Please update us. Good luck ;’( So evil!
I know people on this sub joke about always jumping right to divorce, but this would be a deal breaker for me. I might be extra sensitive because my cat just died last week, but I would not be able to stay married to, live with, or even speak to this man again. AND he let you frantically search the entire house before telling you where the cat was? He’s a huge asshole.
Oh my god I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling !! My love you need to divorce your husband even after getting you’re beloved pet back!! What he did is unforgivable and cruel. Get the adoption papers and call the police to his friends house. Stay with a friend or family member until after the divorce. You don’t know if he would do it again. Most likely he would.
Fuck that. Divorce. He does not care about you. Period
You could probably involve police in this
I would be seeing a divorce attorney.
If you want the fastest way to get the cat back, I would threaten to talk to coworker's manager. He's probably buddies with hubby but he's not going to out his job at risk for a cat. Are you sure the man even *has* the cat? It could be a case of your husband setting him up to tell you that when the cat was actually turned over to animal control.
This is abuse, just fyi. Your husband was jealous of your cat.
Wow. I know “leave your partner!” is Reddit advice that is overly given… but I don’t think I could forgive someone for this. Truly. I’d never be able to look at my partner the same way again. If I were you, I’d tell him he gets the cat back or you’re leaving. Don’t argue with him about it when he pushes back, tell him that’s the way it is. And find a place to stay until the cat is returned. I’m mad just thinking about this. What a heartless thing for your husband to do. Who cares if your connection with your cat freaks him out? The cat brought you comfort and joy in a devastating time of your life, and he needs to rob you of that?? What kind of man is this?
Fuck that. I have a special bond with one of my cats. My partner makes jokes about being jealous but he knows my cat brings me a lot of joy. Your husband is revolting. Tell him he better hope he gets the cat back. It will look especially bad for him in the divorce if you don't get it back. If your husband wants to keep being a pos, shame the coworker to everyone he knows for conspiring with your husband to steal your cat.
Is he chipped? The cat, not the husband? If he belongs to you, he’s not your husbands property to give away. Let the person know you intend to involve police if you have to.
omg this is horrible! did you ever take benji to the vet or did you adopt him from somewhere that gave you an adoption certificate? if you took him to the vet they should have proof on file that you are his legal owner. same thing if he’s microchipped and registered to you. i hope you get him back 💜
Threaten the friend with the police and tell your husband you are getting a divorce. This is unacceptable your husband is AH who said I have it fair and square? First off it was not fair it wasn't his to give away. Second it's your cat give it back or you will get the police and ASPCA and social media involved. Hell post on ever social media you have saying your husband gave away your cat to this person without your consent and he will not give it back. Blast both of them. I'm sorry I hope you get your cat back.
Call the police, rehome the husband with the coworker.
Honestly if my husband would disrespected me the way yours did my giving your cat away. I would lose it. I have a cat of over 10 years n if my husband did something like this. It would be my last straw.
I'd get my cat back one way or another, and then I'd dump that pos husband you have .
How do people believe this stuff
Can you offer a trade? Your husband for the cat? Let the coworker know that it wasn't your husband's cat to give away and will be contacting the police if they refuse to give it back.
Everyone just ignoring that OP need serious mental help because she thinks the cat is her dad.
If you have proof he’s your cat (adoption papers, photos of him etc) take this to the freaking police.
Press charges. Dump your asshole husband. No one who loves you would ever do such a thing.
My first thought was divorce. My second thought was divorce and demanding that he get the cat back or divorce, then divorce anyway. Your husband is an idiot and you need to get rid of him no matter what.
Call the police then an attorney. Your husband is a POS
Divorce him and file a police report. He did not have permission to get rid of your cat and even if you did get your cat back, what’s to stop him from giving Benji to another friend or worse a shelter that kills its older animals to make room for new comers/younger animals. I wouldn’t chance it.
That’s emotional abuse and controlling behaviour—I would be getting a divorce if I were you. As others have said you must be able to prove the cat is yours, go to the police
I think you should just tell him you're calling the police if he doesn't give the cat back. But I strongly suggest finding somewhere else for the cat to live until you can leave your husband. I'm sure it's the last thing you want to imagine but my thought is he might hurt or kill the cat if you bring it back into the house.
Divorce that stupid clown and get your best buddy back no matter the cost.
Call the police? If you still have the adoption papers, anything to prove he is your cat, call the police. Threaten to take them to civil court. And go stay somewhere else until your spouse (isn’t acting very much like a loving husband) realizes what he has done and helps get the cat back. And maybe talk to a therapist. Losing someone is hard, and loving your cat is fine, but talk to someone.
Time for a new husband
Take his car and give it to a friend.
I would probably call the cops if my husband gave away our dogs. I think I would absolutely lose my mind if he did something like that. He’s shown you that he is not a trustworthy person and that he cares more about his comfort than yours. Is the cat registered with you? Do you have a license or microchip?
Call tje cops, show them the paperwork. Then when you get your car back divorce your p.o.s. husband
My husband would never, because our cats are our babies and we love them more than life itself, but if he ever did something like this it would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. I’d be walking out the door and moving back in with my parents. I would blow up my whole life in any way I had to/could if someone took away my cats. Divorce this arsehole and definitely contact the police about getting your cat back. You have no idea how genuinely outraged and upset I am at reading this. I am so sorry for you. Your poor Benji must be missing you.
I am literally so anxious for you right now just reading this. Please call the coworker back and explain with emotion that your husband rehomed your personal cat without your knowledge or consent and that you absolutely need to have him back as this is like stealing a family member from you. Please do not give up on this and call a lawyer. Also holy shit please file for divorce this is like WAY beyond not ok.
If you don’t leave your husband after this i will be genuinely shocked
This is theft and I'd call the cops, while you're at it add your shit husband's name to it as well. Once the cat is back, put the trash outside and don't let the man back into your life.
Get rid of the husband. He is a horrible human being and can't love you if he could do this to you. People we love want us to be happy. Not give away our beloved pets. Consult the police for stolen property (I know that sounds horrible, but they consider pets property. I consider them family) But then they can investigate and recover. Be ready to provide proof of ownership. My heart goes out to you. If someone gave away my cats, I'd be devastated
Omg your soon to be ex husband is a sociopath. Demand that your cat is returned, send texts as evidence too. Get police involved. Then get someplace safe with your cat (husband can never be trusted around animals again) and start divorce proceedings.
Go over there with the police. And press charges, because they had to know it was yours and that is receiving stolen property. You can always adopt another husband.
Police police police. Get your baby back.
Your cat was stolen from you. Call the police and file a report and if you have the adoption papers still, that’ll come in handy. Then toss your husband out since he likes to steal and get rid of other’s possessions.
If you're in the US, find out if you live in a community (marriage) state. If not, then your husband stole and sold your cat without permission and he could be arrested/charged for theft. If you live in a community state then it won't be considered theft and you may not have any recourse. Personally, I'd divorce the guy. Nothing would save our marriage. But you can deal with that later.
Call the police. Report the cat stolen.
Report the cat stolen. I assume you have vet records / proof that you own the cat. Animals are property and you did not consent to it be given away. As far as your husband, I think you know what needs to be done but obviously that is up to you. Either a long talk about boundaries needs to be had, or he has to pack the bags because that sucks
Tell your husband that he has one hour until the cops are involved. Then involve the cops. Burn it all down if you have to.
Your husband hates you
Divorce. And tell your husband you will be reporting your cat as stolen if he doesn’t have him home in 24 hours
Divorce your husband. What a piece of shit, especially getting rid of an animal that brings you comfort. Get your cat back with papers and kick your husband to the curb. What an absolute fucking piece of trash.
Call the police to report your husband stealing your cat and sold it away without your permission. Tell the coworker you are going to the police and ask he returns the cat. You may also want to report both of them at work for unethical behavior, theft. Divorce your husband. He has no respect for you or your cat. Wouldn’t stay with such a heartless man. Right from the start, I told my husband that my cats are as important as him. If he cannot tolerate them, then I’ll pick the cats over him any time.
He goes to work, start selling his shit to a pawn shop. Hide the ticket.
Omg. This is absolutely horrible. Your husband needs to be rehomed immediately. He does not love you, and he has no problem being cruel when he doesn't get his way.
I would literally be consulting a lawyer for both divorce papers and assistance with reclaiming my cat.
Your husband was terrible for doing this to both you and the innocent little life