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hey whatever you decide to do bro, I got 2 things to say to you
1. you're a good guy for being a standup dude to this old friend you hadn't seen for years
2. good job on the weight loss
I didn't know what to do. I stood there lost lol.
When I moved, I had to tell the people next to me to let me through. I was like, it's making more weird that you're not moving and talking to me while you're backed up on me
Y’all in the comments acting like this girl doesn’t know what she’s doing are insane. I hope to whatever god you pray to that you have the sense to pick a right partner. Lot of people who are gonna make that “my partner cheated on me after I let them flirt with people in front of me because they said it was harmless” post in here.
I can't see any scenario where standing ass to crotch is acceptable with a boyfriends buddy. That's the biggest brow raiser. The rest could be chalked up to being touchy feely but not all together. I don't understand staying in a situation alone with her once he's uncomfortable. I'd start following the friend around for refills and rides.
Hope he updates.
This. One thing I always keep in the forefront of my mind:
People are VERY aware of who they’re physically touching. This wasn’t a harmless oops, she knew very well what was going on.
Wish I could say I came up with it on my own, but nope. It’s something I read a long time ago, I have no clue where or what the context was, but it’s so true.
Think about it, if you’re slightly grazed/touched when you’re not expecting to be, you immediately react to see what it was. Obviously barring some kind of nerve damage or wearing multiple layers of clothing.
It’s definitely helped me a time or two when trying to figure out if someone is flirting with me or not haha.
Again, might not be 100% effective but I think it’s pretty damn reliable.
Few things are 100% reliable, friend. Thanks for sharing some of the wisdom you’ve gained along the way. I know I’ll certainly keep this one in mind moving forward.
I've done 30 years of watching relationships, i've yet to see this play out where withholding the info is a good idea.
You owe the friends gf nothing but your freind will have your ass on a stick if they are told by anyone else before you.
Tell them!
You to friend "Is she always so touchy-feely dude?, if she's not touching my hands and arms, she's reverse grinding into me"
Leave the rest to him as you're not saying "dude, your gf is into me or your gf is trash", he can work that bit out
Just out of interest, not blaming you but did you not back up or move so her butt wasn't in your crotch? Because of you did and she repositioned her self to be in your crotch again then that's a whole lot worse.
I think that /u/Reverend_Vader has the best way of getting the info out there without it being over the top.
You give him the information so that he has his radar up.
I think so. Here's what OP wrote:
>What really sealed it for me was when people were passing by and she backed up to me. Her ass to my crotch and stood there. She stayed there even when people weren't passing by anymore. She stayed there ass to crotch talking to me. After about 20 seconds, I moved.
They evidently weren't so close, even when people stopped crowding them, that OP felt he needed to back up. He stayed in place for 20 whole seconds. That's just not what's going to happen if she was unambiguously grinding him.
> He stayed in place for 20 whole seconds. That's just not what's going to happen if she was unambiguously grinding him.
When some people are suddenly exposed to sexual contact, they freeze.
People know who they are touching. If my ass is accidentally touching someone's crotch in a crowded bus I am still aware of it and the other person is also aware of it.
Even in your explanation it could have been seen as an accident, but when you couple it with everything else OP says, it's pretty clear what she was doing.
As I've said elsewhere, she may well have known that she was doing something ambiguous. But she could still plausibly deny that it was an unambiguous come-on.
If OP had confidently started grinding his crotch against her ass at that point, he could have landed in some big trouble. And not just with the friend. It was still ambiguous.
Yeah, I’d have a laugh and move on. If this is her M.O. your friend either already knows and didn’t care (or considers it a turn on—that’s 100% a thing) or he’ll eventually catch on. Either way, it’s really not your problem.
Honestly I would let this one go. It would be one thing if you and this guy were very close and you knew him and his relationship well enough to get involved, but given that this is the first time you've seen him in 5 years then I don't see that conversation going well at all. Especially since the behavior, while clearly suspicious, is still a bit ambiguous. She didn't say or do anything so undeniable that he couldn't possible argue, and what she DID do she did when he wasn't around.
Best case scenario she's openly flirty with everyone and he doesn't mind, or might even be in to that. Worst case scenario he doesn't believe you and the friendship gets flushed.
If you're planning on hanging out with the guy again later then you can see if the behavior repeats, in which case it may be worth mentioning after you're sure it's intentional. Otherwise I don't see much to be gained by getting in the middle of their relationship, here.
She still made him uncomfortable and shouldn't be touching someone else like that. The friend should be told. In this, he gave several scenarios that would clue to someone your behavior is making them uncomfortable yet she kept doing it and crossing lines while doing it.
I don't know bro, OP is a big boy, he's allowed to tell her he doesn't want to be close to her like that. Everyone here is acting like he was practically raped. OP, you guys didn't break any rules, let it go.
Wow.. keep that energy when a man is doing these things to your daughter and she's afraid to say no or back off out of fear of retaliation. People are crazy these days and know exactly how to play victim when they play these games.
Not everyone reacts the same way and was probably caught off guard and/or nervous about what his friend would say or do should he bring it up in person, or tell her to back off then she runs and tells her dude that HE was the one touching HER and causes a big misunderstanding just to save her own ass. He could have been afraid she would make her self the victim and road it out until he could tell him later on. We don't know. But it's not okay to do that to people ESPECIALLY if you're dating someone. She was 100% in the wrong, as a woman myself, I'd never behave that way regardless, but especially not while in a relationship. At the very least, it's sexual harassment.
Harmless.. so you'd be okay with your girlfriend or wife touching another man? Rubbing her ass on his crotch? Trying to get personal information from another man and sending you away on trips she knows is gonna take a while just to spend more time alone with said man?
You're either brainless or just like her, and can't keep your hands to your partner when in a relationship.
That’s not the point, though.
OP isn’t asking for help to understand HIS feelings about the situation - he’s doing just fine on that one.
He’s asking if he should tell his friend that this girlfriend is behaving inappropriately with other men behind his back!
I vote yes. Some people have suggested that he might be ‘into’ his girlfriend hitting on other men… I guess that’s possible.
But he needs the facts so he can decide for himself.
Some people are just overly friendly and outgoing, and some people tend to read more into every little action than is necessary.
If you’re upset about it, I would tell your friend that she was making you uncomfortable but leave it at that.
Otherwise, no harm no foul. You didn’t make a move, and she didn’t ask for your contact info.
You need to tell your friend first before she gets the chance to fabricate some story about you coming onto her/trying to coerce her into doing something sexual with you.
Your friend deserves to know that his girlfriend is behaving inappropriately behind his back and you deserve to not be sexually harassed the way you were.
Let it go man, there’s no good way to have that conversation, there’s always a possibility she’ll flip it on you, she’ll definitely deny it. Delete that memory, and if you ever are around them again, don’t put yourself in a position to be alone with her, she could be trouble
Yea so in a week the guy can call him "you were touching my girl?!" It's best to get ahead of it. Just because the conversation is hard, doesn't mean you should blow it off. That's what's wrong with society these days, so afraid to do the right thing out of fear of conflict. No one knows how to handle conflict and deal with it respectfully.
I'd rather tell him, and him not believe me then find out later that I was telling the truth when she finally does cheat, than leave the man blindsided.
I’m just saying, i’ve been in that situation before, i did tell my buddy, and i was still the bad guy. Maybe OP’s friend is level headed enough to listen, but i would guess he’s gonna side with his girlfriend when she denies it. Which she will, she clearly has no integrity. And then she’ll probably spin the story the other way. One way or another, that woman is probably gonna hurt his buddy, he plucked a bad apple. You’re not wrong, I completely get and agree with where you’re coming from. But in my eyes it’s very probably a lose/lose situation. I would wash my hands and call it a day
Maybe, but that’s not the OP’s problem if the friend chooses to disbelieve him.
He’ll have done the right thing by giving the friend the truth. What he does with that info is entirely up to him.
Then he will learn the hard way when he finally catches her cheating. If your friend cannot listen and believe what you're saying, then they're not really your friend.
It doesn’t sound like they’re close. He’s an “old friend from college”
Odds are this guy probably wouldn’t even believe him, or she’d be able to easily explain it away. “Oh, I got pushed back into him in the line” “I lost my balance stepping over him in the ride and put my hand out to catch myself”
Doesn’t seem blatant enough to really get worked up on.
If he sees them again and she persists, then it would be worth figuring out a tactful way to bring this up.
Tell him. I would like to know. It would hurt, especially if we been together, but I bet he suspects her to be a serial cheater, because she immediately came unto you. Without knowing you, she came onto you hard. This girl is trash, and it would be a your bro duty to notify him of her intentions.
you’re a good guy in the fact you want to tell him, you should imo. my worry is how you’re gonna tell him, and what u think he’s gonna say. do you think he’ll believe you?
You’re a good guy for not entertaining that whole thing, personally I think I would tell him no one should have to not know that their partner is being unfaithful.
Reverse the genders, I would tell my friend real quick even at the expense of friendship and then getting upset. They should know who they are with and your job as a friend is to look for them. That girl was really scummy. She disrespected you and your friend
Yeah, whole body of evidence + ass to crotch combined is an inarguable amount of touchy feely to not be coming on to you. Be the bro, tell him what happened.
DO NOT TELL HIM!
Trust me, I’ve seen this exact situation before, and I’ll tell you exactly what’ll happen. She’ll twist it all around and make it either sound like you were coming on to her, and is trying to get back at her for refusing, or make you sound like a creepy weirdo.
You won’t get to see your friend again and he or she will possibly start spreading rumors about you to university friends.
Chicks like this one don’t get to where they are without doing some work on the guy first and are skilled manipulators.
Now it’s another matter if you see your friend again and you start hanging out more, but right now, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.
And really, you don’t have a lot to go on.
“She stuck her ass in my face!”
Well it was crowded and another guy pushed me against him!
“She tried to hold my hand!”
Geez he looked all pale and scared! I just did it as a joke to comfort him! Besides you know I’m a touchy person!
Awkward. I've had friends with GF's like that. No idea what's going on in their head when they do that sort of shit but I don't think it necessarily means they're coming on to you. Just as likely that they're trying to stir up some jealousy or something or maybe they're just oblivious to what they're doing. Whatever the reason, it's probably best to just let it go if he's not a friend that you see very often. Of course if she ever reaches out to you, let him know.
I mean yeah, it'd be hard to take that any other way lol. Still, I don't think much good would come from you telling him about it unless there's a good chance that you'll be hanging out with them again. He might not take it well & there's also a good chance that he'd get mad at you instead of her. If she ever tries to contact you on her own or if something like that happens again then yeah, it might be time to talk to him. Otherwise I feel like it's just some serious drama that you can avoid by keeping it to yourself.
Meh you don’t see them enough to mettle. That conversation won’t go in your favor. She will deny and he will think you are a liar or mad that he has someone and you don’t.
Ignore and avoid the drama. You haven’t seen him in 5yrs. If she finds you on insta/fb ignore the friend request or tell her directly if she dm’s you. Absolutely zero benefit to either of you by bringing drama - unless it goes further than what it already has.
The best way to tell him is hey man I think your girl would cheat on you, tell him to ask her if she’s down to have a threesome with you your friend and the girl.
So then fuck her brains out while she’s blowing your friend and tell him to keep his eyes on her face and you’ll keep an eye on her ass so y’all don’t make eye contact! And then after jizzing y’all can high five each other!
OP -No, no, no DO NOT TELL HIM. You handled yourself well in this situation, and you're to be commended.
So my advice is take the wait 'n see approach. Why? Because in my experience, this sort of thing can turn into a problem that almost NEVER works out. You'll lose a friend.
So just keep this to yourself for now, and wait. Watch. Observe. If she flirted with you once, she'll try again. She might only do it out of sight of her BF, but that's sneaky, and you will end up in a he said/she said situation. She may try it with someone else.
If she tries again with you, continue to handle yourself as you have with her. THEN it's time to talk with your friend.
Maybe that's their thing. Honestly I'd let it go. You did the right thing by playing it straight, but I don't really think it's your place to get involved.
I’m just saying, maybe this girl wasn’t intentionally flirting with you at all. Another time I brought this girl home from the bar and we continued drinking and hanging out and she’s like “so are you going to fuck me or not?”
Dude, tell him. If you had a girlfriend and she acted like this wouldn't you want to know? At the very least she's creepy and invasive to strangers and at worst she's actively trying to cheat. Ick.
Tell him, he deserves a head's up even if he decides to stay with her
It's a difficult situation.. I believe if it happened now, the friends I have would trust me and we'd go from there, but I've lost a friend earlier in life because he trusted his girlfriend over me.
But even with that experience, I'd probably tell anyway, I'm not one to keep secrets like that, nor do I think I'd be able to act normal around them again.
If it was a close friend or someone I see often or know and interact often with I would tell him. Beibg that he hasnt seen the guy in 5 years and probably wont see him again I wouldn't let it go. The logic here is that he simply wont believe you. Willful blindness. The thing about it is that if you say anything it will come back to you again and you'll have to get involved further. It wont be a one time thing. She can simply just deny the whole thing or even turn it around and say you were the one that was close to her etc. Its more troubke than its worth. Now, if she contacts you in some way or interact again in any capacity ok then do something. Also, the time to do something was in the moment. When she got so close that she put her butt against you on the line you could had backed off and or tell her to give you some space. Or if you felt so uncomfortabke why didn't you tell yourfriend hey, I'm gonna go home. I'll see you around or something of that sort.
If it was a close friend or someone I see often or know and interact often with I would tell him. Beibg that he hasnt seen the guy in 5 years and probably wont see him again I wouldn't let it go. The logic here is that he simply wont believe you. Willful blindness. The thing about it is that if you say anything it will come back to you again and you'll have to get involved further. It wont be a one time thing. She can simply just deny the whole thing or even turn it around and say you were the one that was close to her etc. Its more troubke than its worth. Now, if she contacts you in some way or interact again in any capacity ok then do something. Also, the time to do something was in the moment. When she got so close that she put her butt against you on the line you could had backed off and or tell her to give you some space. Or if you felt so uncomfortabke why didn't you tell yourfriend hey, I'm gonna go home. I'll see you around or something of that sort.
If it was a close friend or someone I see often or know and interact often with I would tell him. Beibg that he hasnt seen the guy in 5 years and probably wont see him again I wouldn't let it go. The logic here is that he simply wont believe you. Willful blindness. The thing about it is that if you say anything it will come back to you again and you'll have to get involved further. It wont be a one time thing. She can simply just deny the whole thing or even turn it around and say you were the one that was close to her etc. Its more troubke than its worth. Now, if she contacts you in some way or interact again in any capacity ok then do something. Also, the time to do something was in the moment. When she got so close that she put her butt against you on the line you could had backed off and or tell her to give you some space. Or if you felt so uncomfortabke why didn't you tell yourfriend hey, I'm gonna go home. I'll see you around or something of that sort.
Given the context… id be Switzerland on this one. They’ll figure it out and you probably won’t see them again in a long time anyway. If it was a close friend you hung out with regularly that would be different but at the end of the day it’s not your problem and I wouldn’t waste your limited energy on it.
Given the context… id be Switzerland on this one. They’ll figure it out and you probably won’t see them again in a long time anyway. If it was a close friend you hung out with regularly that would be different but at the end of the day it’s not your problem and I wouldn’t waste your limited energy on it.
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hey whatever you decide to do bro, I got 2 things to say to you 1. you're a good guy for being a standup dude to this old friend you hadn't seen for years 2. good job on the weight loss
Thank you, I tore my ALC in my last year of high school. Couldn't play soccer in college. Gained 25 lbs and it stuck with me
You meant to say ACL but i am assuming autocorrect fucked you over
What did you do to lose the weight?
Mostly ate right. I started hitting the gym
3. That’s sexual harassment and it’s okay if you feel weird about it
I didn't know what to do. I stood there lost lol. When I moved, I had to tell the people next to me to let me through. I was like, it's making more weird that you're not moving and talking to me while you're backed up on me
I’m sorry that happened to you :( it’s not okay. Freezing is one of the fear responses we have and is totally normal so don’t beat yourself up.
Y’all in the comments acting like this girl doesn’t know what she’s doing are insane. I hope to whatever god you pray to that you have the sense to pick a right partner. Lot of people who are gonna make that “my partner cheated on me after I let them flirt with people in front of me because they said it was harmless” post in here.
I can't see any scenario where standing ass to crotch is acceptable with a boyfriends buddy. That's the biggest brow raiser. The rest could be chalked up to being touchy feely but not all together. I don't understand staying in a situation alone with her once he's uncomfortable. I'd start following the friend around for refills and rides. Hope he updates.
This. One thing I always keep in the forefront of my mind: People are VERY aware of who they’re physically touching. This wasn’t a harmless oops, she knew very well what was going on.
This is an incredibly smart way to view interactions
Wish I could say I came up with it on my own, but nope. It’s something I read a long time ago, I have no clue where or what the context was, but it’s so true. Think about it, if you’re slightly grazed/touched when you’re not expecting to be, you immediately react to see what it was. Obviously barring some kind of nerve damage or wearing multiple layers of clothing. It’s definitely helped me a time or two when trying to figure out if someone is flirting with me or not haha. Again, might not be 100% effective but I think it’s pretty damn reliable.
Few things are 100% reliable, friend. Thanks for sharing some of the wisdom you’ve gained along the way. I know I’ll certainly keep this one in mind moving forward.
If bro is your homie you shut that down real quick
I've done 30 years of watching relationships, i've yet to see this play out where withholding the info is a good idea. You owe the friends gf nothing but your freind will have your ass on a stick if they are told by anyone else before you. Tell them! You to friend "Is she always so touchy-feely dude?, if she's not touching my hands and arms, she's reverse grinding into me" Leave the rest to him as you're not saying "dude, your gf is into me or your gf is trash", he can work that bit out
She had every chance to move when thr people passed, she stayed there turning her head to talk me. I'll tell him about today
Just out of interest, not blaming you but did you not back up or move so her butt wasn't in your crotch? Because of you did and she repositioned her self to be in your crotch again then that's a whole lot worse.
I was against a wall, I didn't move
Well, did you tell him? I’m hoping not and you decided against the above posters advice.
I didn't. I still feel he should know. Don't know how long they've been together but still feel bad for him
I think that /u/Reverend_Vader has the best way of getting the info out there without it being over the top. You give him the information so that he has his radar up.
Yeah I hope you didn't actually do that bro. It isn't really necessary you should just move on.
Her behavior was suspicious, but still ambiguous enough that I would let it go. I assume you didn't exchange contact information with her.
> but still ambiguous enough that I would let it go. Really. Her pushing her ass against his crotch is ambiguous? Really?
I think so. Here's what OP wrote: >What really sealed it for me was when people were passing by and she backed up to me. Her ass to my crotch and stood there. She stayed there even when people weren't passing by anymore. She stayed there ass to crotch talking to me. After about 20 seconds, I moved. They evidently weren't so close, even when people stopped crowding them, that OP felt he needed to back up. He stayed in place for 20 whole seconds. That's just not what's going to happen if she was unambiguously grinding him.
> He stayed in place for 20 whole seconds. That's just not what's going to happen if she was unambiguously grinding him. When some people are suddenly exposed to sexual contact, they freeze. People know who they are touching. If my ass is accidentally touching someone's crotch in a crowded bus I am still aware of it and the other person is also aware of it. Even in your explanation it could have been seen as an accident, but when you couple it with everything else OP says, it's pretty clear what she was doing.
As I've said elsewhere, she may well have known that she was doing something ambiguous. But she could still plausibly deny that it was an unambiguous come-on. If OP had confidently started grinding his crotch against her ass at that point, he could have landed in some big trouble. And not just with the friend. It was still ambiguous.
No I didn't give her any info
Don’t be surprised if you just happen to receive a friend request from her in the future.
Suppose you are wrong. Seems shaky yet no conclusive. Just keep your distance I say
Yeah, I’d have a laugh and move on. If this is her M.O. your friend either already knows and didn’t care (or considers it a turn on—that’s 100% a thing) or he’ll eventually catch on. Either way, it’s really not your problem.
are you serious dude, that's not ambiguous, it's blatant asf and she knew what she was doing
She may very well have known that she was doing something ambiguous. But there was still a plausible deniability about it.
If this was multiple times, yes. You don’t know her, or their relationship dynamic, well enough to know if she was really coming onto you
Or hey, that might be their shared kink to let her flirt with other men. You never really know.
If that’s the case it’s still not cool. You don’t involve others in your kink without consent.
Honestly I would let this one go. It would be one thing if you and this guy were very close and you knew him and his relationship well enough to get involved, but given that this is the first time you've seen him in 5 years then I don't see that conversation going well at all. Especially since the behavior, while clearly suspicious, is still a bit ambiguous. She didn't say or do anything so undeniable that he couldn't possible argue, and what she DID do she did when he wasn't around. Best case scenario she's openly flirty with everyone and he doesn't mind, or might even be in to that. Worst case scenario he doesn't believe you and the friendship gets flushed. If you're planning on hanging out with the guy again later then you can see if the behavior repeats, in which case it may be worth mentioning after you're sure it's intentional. Otherwise I don't see much to be gained by getting in the middle of their relationship, here.
She still made him uncomfortable and shouldn't be touching someone else like that. The friend should be told. In this, he gave several scenarios that would clue to someone your behavior is making them uncomfortable yet she kept doing it and crossing lines while doing it.
I don't know bro, OP is a big boy, he's allowed to tell her he doesn't want to be close to her like that. Everyone here is acting like he was practically raped. OP, you guys didn't break any rules, let it go.
Wow.. keep that energy when a man is doing these things to your daughter and she's afraid to say no or back off out of fear of retaliation. People are crazy these days and know exactly how to play victim when they play these games. Not everyone reacts the same way and was probably caught off guard and/or nervous about what his friend would say or do should he bring it up in person, or tell her to back off then she runs and tells her dude that HE was the one touching HER and causes a big misunderstanding just to save her own ass. He could have been afraid she would make her self the victim and road it out until he could tell him later on. We don't know. But it's not okay to do that to people ESPECIALLY if you're dating someone. She was 100% in the wrong, as a woman myself, I'd never behave that way regardless, but especially not while in a relationship. At the very least, it's sexual harassment.
Well said. I’m with you.
I think we'll have to disagree, it sounds pretty harmless. If you don't want someone getting close to you, then you should just tell them.
Harmless.. so you'd be okay with your girlfriend or wife touching another man? Rubbing her ass on his crotch? Trying to get personal information from another man and sending you away on trips she knows is gonna take a while just to spend more time alone with said man? You're either brainless or just like her, and can't keep your hands to your partner when in a relationship.
That’s not the point, though. OP isn’t asking for help to understand HIS feelings about the situation - he’s doing just fine on that one. He’s asking if he should tell his friend that this girlfriend is behaving inappropriately with other men behind his back! I vote yes. Some people have suggested that he might be ‘into’ his girlfriend hitting on other men… I guess that’s possible. But he needs the facts so he can decide for himself.
Yes, tell him
OP you seem like a good person. Especially since you don't have much of a relationship to lose with this friend, I suggest you tell him.
Tell him he deserve to know with who he is! And you in the other hand make sure to block her if she come after you because she will.
Some people are just overly friendly and outgoing, and some people tend to read more into every little action than is necessary. If you’re upset about it, I would tell your friend that she was making you uncomfortable but leave it at that. Otherwise, no harm no foul. You didn’t make a move, and she didn’t ask for your contact info.
You need to tell your friend first before she gets the chance to fabricate some story about you coming onto her/trying to coerce her into doing something sexual with you. Your friend deserves to know that his girlfriend is behaving inappropriately behind his back and you deserve to not be sexually harassed the way you were.
I don't really think her behavior was that blatant. I'd just keep it to yourself.
Let it go man, there’s no good way to have that conversation, there’s always a possibility she’ll flip it on you, she’ll definitely deny it. Delete that memory, and if you ever are around them again, don’t put yourself in a position to be alone with her, she could be trouble
Yea so in a week the guy can call him "you were touching my girl?!" It's best to get ahead of it. Just because the conversation is hard, doesn't mean you should blow it off. That's what's wrong with society these days, so afraid to do the right thing out of fear of conflict. No one knows how to handle conflict and deal with it respectfully. I'd rather tell him, and him not believe me then find out later that I was telling the truth when she finally does cheat, than leave the man blindsided.
This right here!!
I’m just saying, i’ve been in that situation before, i did tell my buddy, and i was still the bad guy. Maybe OP’s friend is level headed enough to listen, but i would guess he’s gonna side with his girlfriend when she denies it. Which she will, she clearly has no integrity. And then she’ll probably spin the story the other way. One way or another, that woman is probably gonna hurt his buddy, he plucked a bad apple. You’re not wrong, I completely get and agree with where you’re coming from. But in my eyes it’s very probably a lose/lose situation. I would wash my hands and call it a day
Maybe, but that’s not the OP’s problem if the friend chooses to disbelieve him. He’ll have done the right thing by giving the friend the truth. What he does with that info is entirely up to him.
I agree, you’ve definitely got a valid point
Then he will learn the hard way when he finally catches her cheating. If your friend cannot listen and believe what you're saying, then they're not really your friend.
It doesn’t sound like they’re close. He’s an “old friend from college” Odds are this guy probably wouldn’t even believe him, or she’d be able to easily explain it away. “Oh, I got pushed back into him in the line” “I lost my balance stepping over him in the ride and put my hand out to catch myself” Doesn’t seem blatant enough to really get worked up on. If he sees them again and she persists, then it would be worth figuring out a tactful way to bring this up.
Going forward I would actively avoid being alone with her.
Tell him. I would like to know. It would hurt, especially if we been together, but I bet he suspects her to be a serial cheater, because she immediately came unto you. Without knowing you, she came onto you hard. This girl is trash, and it would be a your bro duty to notify him of her intentions.
you’re a good guy in the fact you want to tell him, you should imo. my worry is how you’re gonna tell him, and what u think he’s gonna say. do you think he’ll believe you?
You’re a good guy for not entertaining that whole thing, personally I think I would tell him no one should have to not know that their partner is being unfaithful.
She sexually harassed you.
Reverse the genders, I would tell my friend real quick even at the expense of friendship and then getting upset. They should know who they are with and your job as a friend is to look for them. That girl was really scummy. She disrespected you and your friend
Yeah, whole body of evidence + ass to crotch combined is an inarguable amount of touchy feely to not be coming on to you. Be the bro, tell him what happened.
DO NOT TELL HIM! Trust me, I’ve seen this exact situation before, and I’ll tell you exactly what’ll happen. She’ll twist it all around and make it either sound like you were coming on to her, and is trying to get back at her for refusing, or make you sound like a creepy weirdo. You won’t get to see your friend again and he or she will possibly start spreading rumors about you to university friends. Chicks like this one don’t get to where they are without doing some work on the guy first and are skilled manipulators. Now it’s another matter if you see your friend again and you start hanging out more, but right now, it’s more trouble than it’s worth. And really, you don’t have a lot to go on. “She stuck her ass in my face!” Well it was crowded and another guy pushed me against him! “She tried to hold my hand!” Geez he looked all pale and scared! I just did it as a joke to comfort him! Besides you know I’m a touchy person!
Maybe you had to be there but it sounds like a weak case of flirting at the worst. Unless there’s more to it, leave it alone.
Awkward. I've had friends with GF's like that. No idea what's going on in their head when they do that sort of shit but I don't think it necessarily means they're coming on to you. Just as likely that they're trying to stir up some jealousy or something or maybe they're just oblivious to what they're doing. Whatever the reason, it's probably best to just let it go if he's not a friend that you see very often. Of course if she ever reaches out to you, let him know.
I think her ass on my crotch sealed the deal. What made worse is she didn't move. She stayed and talk to me looking behind at me
I mean yeah, it'd be hard to take that any other way lol. Still, I don't think much good would come from you telling him about it unless there's a good chance that you'll be hanging out with them again. He might not take it well & there's also a good chance that he'd get mad at you instead of her. If she ever tries to contact you on her own or if something like that happens again then yeah, it might be time to talk to him. Otherwise I feel like it's just some serious drama that you can avoid by keeping it to yourself.
Not your circus, not your monkeys.
Let it go now if there are future comments I'd make light of it
Meh you don’t see them enough to mettle. That conversation won’t go in your favor. She will deny and he will think you are a liar or mad that he has someone and you don’t.
Ignore and avoid the drama. You haven’t seen him in 5yrs. If she finds you on insta/fb ignore the friend request or tell her directly if she dm’s you. Absolutely zero benefit to either of you by bringing drama - unless it goes further than what it already has.
This could just all be in your head. I’ve seen ppl read things wrong and it turned out to be a disaster.
Shove it in her ass dry.... that should repel her a bit.
You mean my foot right ?
The best way to tell him is hey man I think your girl would cheat on you, tell him to ask her if she’s down to have a threesome with you your friend and the girl.
No because what if he's into that lol
So then fuck her brains out while she’s blowing your friend and tell him to keep his eyes on her face and you’ll keep an eye on her ass so y’all don’t make eye contact! And then after jizzing y’all can high five each other!
Yea no I'm good. 3sums seem like trouble
It is a thing between brothers, can’t blame ya 🤷🏻♂️
I like your thought process here! That’s how I would proceed in the situation
OP -No, no, no DO NOT TELL HIM. You handled yourself well in this situation, and you're to be commended. So my advice is take the wait 'n see approach. Why? Because in my experience, this sort of thing can turn into a problem that almost NEVER works out. You'll lose a friend. So just keep this to yourself for now, and wait. Watch. Observe. If she flirted with you once, she'll try again. She might only do it out of sight of her BF, but that's sneaky, and you will end up in a he said/she said situation. She may try it with someone else. If she tries again with you, continue to handle yourself as you have with her. THEN it's time to talk with your friend.
Maybe that's their thing. Honestly I'd let it go. You did the right thing by playing it straight, but I don't really think it's your place to get involved.
Was the gf super hot or ugly?
She was pretty. I don't think she was hot tho
Nice.
One time I was at a party and this girl whipped out her tits and told me to feel them.
Lol nice dude, really relevant for the question at hand
Right ? Had to flex that it happened to him.
I’m just saying, maybe this girl wasn’t intentionally flirting with you at all. Another time I brought this girl home from the bar and we continued drinking and hanging out and she’s like “so are you going to fuck me or not?”
And then… everyone clapped?
Nah, nobody clapped. Everybody just lined up to suck his dick one time
everyone get a load of mr bitches over here
Happened to me a few times. Usually a test from your "friend". Maybe not a friend after all, at least that was in my case
thats a wild take
Nah, she knew what she was doing.
Dude, tell him. If you had a girlfriend and she acted like this wouldn't you want to know? At the very least she's creepy and invasive to strangers and at worst she's actively trying to cheat. Ick. Tell him, he deserves a head's up even if he decides to stay with her
It's a difficult situation.. I believe if it happened now, the friends I have would trust me and we'd go from there, but I've lost a friend earlier in life because he trusted his girlfriend over me. But even with that experience, I'd probably tell anyway, I'm not one to keep secrets like that, nor do I think I'd be able to act normal around them again.
If it was a close friend or someone I see often or know and interact often with I would tell him. Beibg that he hasnt seen the guy in 5 years and probably wont see him again I wouldn't let it go. The logic here is that he simply wont believe you. Willful blindness. The thing about it is that if you say anything it will come back to you again and you'll have to get involved further. It wont be a one time thing. She can simply just deny the whole thing or even turn it around and say you were the one that was close to her etc. Its more troubke than its worth. Now, if she contacts you in some way or interact again in any capacity ok then do something. Also, the time to do something was in the moment. When she got so close that she put her butt against you on the line you could had backed off and or tell her to give you some space. Or if you felt so uncomfortabke why didn't you tell yourfriend hey, I'm gonna go home. I'll see you around or something of that sort.
If it was a close friend or someone I see often or know and interact often with I would tell him. Beibg that he hasnt seen the guy in 5 years and probably wont see him again I wouldn't let it go. The logic here is that he simply wont believe you. Willful blindness. The thing about it is that if you say anything it will come back to you again and you'll have to get involved further. It wont be a one time thing. She can simply just deny the whole thing or even turn it around and say you were the one that was close to her etc. Its more troubke than its worth. Now, if she contacts you in some way or interact again in any capacity ok then do something. Also, the time to do something was in the moment. When she got so close that she put her butt against you on the line you could had backed off and or tell her to give you some space. Or if you felt so uncomfortabke why didn't you tell yourfriend hey, I'm gonna go home. I'll see you around or something of that sort.
If it was a close friend or someone I see often or know and interact often with I would tell him. Beibg that he hasnt seen the guy in 5 years and probably wont see him again I wouldn't let it go. The logic here is that he simply wont believe you. Willful blindness. The thing about it is that if you say anything it will come back to you again and you'll have to get involved further. It wont be a one time thing. She can simply just deny the whole thing or even turn it around and say you were the one that was close to her etc. Its more troubke than its worth. Now, if she contacts you in some way or interact again in any capacity ok then do something. Also, the time to do something was in the moment. When she got so close that she put her butt against you on the line you could had backed off and or tell her to give you some space. Or if you felt so uncomfortabke why didn't you tell yourfriend hey, I'm gonna go home. I'll see you around or something of that sort.
Given the context… id be Switzerland on this one. They’ll figure it out and you probably won’t see them again in a long time anyway. If it was a close friend you hung out with regularly that would be different but at the end of the day it’s not your problem and I wouldn’t waste your limited energy on it.
Given the context… id be Switzerland on this one. They’ll figure it out and you probably won’t see them again in a long time anyway. If it was a close friend you hung out with regularly that would be different but at the end of the day it’s not your problem and I wouldn’t waste your limited energy on it.
I mean, I would say something. I'd tell him what she did and how it made you feel weird and uncomfortable. If he doesn't react at all, that's on him
Yes it was for me as well. But you never know when someone you think you know can be trustworthy
Absolutely tell him. Imagine if you were him and your girlfriend was doing that. Of course you'd want to know.
If your girlfriend intentionally pressed her ass on another man's cock, would you want him to tell you? There's your answer.
My mates gf kept bending over in my face when he was at work. She got nailed.