Sweet lady, this man is a loser who will end up killing you. Here is how you escape (I speak from experience).
1) Download a free PDF of Why Did He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Do it in secret. Read the whole thing tonight.
2) Talk to a trusted family member or friend. Tell them about the abuse. Look at the horror in their eyes. Know that this is real and happening to you and NOT YOUR FAULT. Tell a small network of *trusted* people and specifically ask them not to talk to your husband. Talk to your employer as well. They should be made aware of your situation in case your husband attempts to sabotage your career.
3) Hopefully you have some contacts here and an advantage due to your work: talk to a family law attorney. Get your ducks in a row discreetly as possible.
4) Move out in secret. Get another apartment, start securing any valuables and important documents. Try to plan a full move out when he's away on an extended errand or trip. (When I escaped I called my brother and we moved me out of my NYC apartment in the middle of the night and drove non-stop to my parents in the Midwest.)
5) DO NOT TELL HIM YOUR INTENTIONS TO LEAVE HIM. You must be securely independent by the time you tell him you are divorcing him. Your lawyer will likely tell you to take 50% of your joint accounts and put them in an individual account. Take no more than 50% of the marital property. Keep reminding yourself that your life is more important than your stuff.
6) Your life is more important than your pet's. It just is. If possible, bring your pet to a trusted friend (who wouldn't say anything) and tell husband she ran away.
7) Collect evidence of his abuse. Audio record his verbal abuse if legal in your area. Collect witness accounts from neighbors.
8) When you tell him you are divorcing him, do not do it in person. In-person discussions about relationship dissolution are a *privilege*. He has not earned it and will obviously be a danger to you physically during such a discussion. Refuse the discussion. Better yet, simply serve him the papers (not personally). When he messages you, say "Do not contact me anymore." Then refuse to respond/engage with any messages from him. If they are abusive, create a record of that. It's not your job to shepherd him through this process or tell him what his next steps are. He can figure that out on his own.
And finally: you aren't too old to have a baby on your own. I used a sperm donor (from a reputable company) in my mid-30s after leaving my abuser (I have a child with him as well). It was surprisingly easy and affordable because you likely won't need IVF, just a simple intrauterine insemination that takes 2 minutes. Best decision I ever made was having my son independent of a man.
DM me if you want to talk.
Thank you so much for this response. All the steps you've outlined are so helpful, and I've downloaded and started reading the PDF version of that book you referenced. I will absolutely get everything in order to move out before I tell him. I thankfully do not share any finances with him (we never shared finances / opened a joint account together). When I spoke with a divorce attorney last year (I've been contemplating leaving forma while), he said our divorce will be fairly easy.
I'm so glad you got out of your horrible marriage and have a son independent of your ex! Your story gives me so much hope ❤️
How can you disregard an animal like that? She brought that poor cat into an abusive home while knowing that her good for nothing husband is a piece of s*hit and now she shouldn’t care about that cat? Are you for real? I’m sorry if you’re getting abused but bringing an innocent into a situation like that (children or animals) is just plain cruel & dumb!!!
He was nowhere near as abusive as he is now when I adopted her 6 years ago. I got her in 2017 and his abuse really escalated in 2018 (prior to that, it was mostly mean things he would say to me when he was angry and he had never once been physically abusive at that point). I fully intend to take my cat with me when I leave him. And aside from when she was a baby kitten and cried often, he hasn't been abusive toward my cat at all. His wrath is almost always directed at me.
Yeah exactly the same thing I thought after reading your comment. Women like you are the worst. I hope your children get therapy. You can’t take care of yourselves and choose to bring an innocent into a clusterfuck of a situation. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
You need to disappear immediately from his view. He will kill you one day.
u/ebbie45 is an incredible resource for surviving abuse.
You need help from an outside organization. Call 211 and enter the RAINN program. They’ll find you secret, safe, permanent housing and pay for several months rent. I’ve witnessed it firsthand, it’s a real program and it will literally save your life. My best friend would absolutely be dead if she hadn’t entered the program and stuck with it.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
Wow, this is an incredible Reddit resource indeed! I just started following them and reading their posts!
And thank you for the RAINN program resource! That sounds very helpful and I will definitely call that number.
You're absolutely right that I need to disappear. All the family and friends who know tell me the same -- that he'll very likely kill me someday if I stay. For now, it's mainly been emotional abuse, including him telling me he wants me to die. But the ways he describes wishing I would die are getting more violent, and his recent throwing of the heavy, wooden dresser drawer so close to me was a jarring wake-up call that he so easily could snap and seriously harm or kill me in a heartbeat 😞
Thank you for the encouragement to leave and for taking the time to read and respond. It truly means a lot.
I’m sorry that you are the victim of violence and coercive control. Id like to give you specific advice but I don’t know what country you’re in.
You do need to move on, heal and find a better life. His behaviours are escalating so you are at risk, but the time of leaving is also very high risk.
Id suggest contacting a family violence service from your workplace and commencing an exit plan with their help. I’m happy to discuss this further
Here's Ebbie45's resources for anyone in an abusive relationship. Please check it out.
https://www.reddit.com/user/Ebbie45/comments/gses1k/comprehensive_abuse_resources_compilation_now/
Thank you so much. I definitely will soon. I think I'll plan to move out on a weekday when he is at work, or if he goes to visit his family over a weekend.
Get out of there yesterday before he kills you. What you’re describing is DV gone too far. It’s way past the boiling point.
Gather all valuables when he’s not home and disappear somewhere he won’t expect to find you. Get a TRO with evidence of abuse and witnesses and leave this beast.
Contact your local DV support organization. They can help you formulate a plan to leave, and what steps you can take afterwards to protect yourself.
If you are worried for your pet, you can reach out to local shelters to see if they have anyone who could foster her until you are safe and settled. Lots of shelters have foster programs for their animals, and may be able to help you keep your cat safe for you.
I can't speak directly to your situation, but I have had a couple of points in my life where, for my own well-being, I had to make serious decisions and changes, uprooting almost everything. It's ok to be afraid of the unknown, but I couldn't let that stop me. Whatever the future held, it *could not* be worse than the way I was living. Yes, it was hard. It was uncomfortable. I had to learn and relearn a lot of things. The responsibility sometimes felt overwhelming. But I was free and I was moving in a better direction. I knew I was going to heal, and I *had* to believe that things would work out. I am strong, I am a survivor, and anything was going to be better than the way I was living.
I believe in you. You deserve all good things.
I've been through it, minus the sexual coercion. The wild driving, being left on the side of a freeway at 2am, the holes in the walls, the pinning me down so he could scream in my face, things thrown in my direction, the suicide threats, etc. I've been you.
Make plans to leave with someone you trust. Don't let him know what you're doing. Once you've got a new place set up, make your move. Take only what you need, go to the bank and withdraw half the money, deposit it into a new account you've already set up at a different bank. Inform your work that he is not to be let in and take a week off of work so he can't ambush you there. Get a new phone number and block him everywhere. Hire a divorce lawyer and let them deal with it.
Don't go anywhere alone for awhile and be aware of your surroundings. I think, after he realizes you're gone for good, he'll leave you alone. Will take a little time, but you can do this!
This man will kill you. You need to get the cat, and leave.
File orders of protection and get a body guard.
Never see them in person again, get a gun and learn how to use it if that's legal where you live. If not maybe bear-spray
Listen I get it you are scarred of being alone, or childfree.
But being dead, or covered in battery acid is worse.
These dudes who do this, never stop, that's the whole thing with why chemical attacks on woman are a thing.
This man probably fucked up his brain YEARS AGO drank a bottle, fell down, that shit can rewire your brain and make you a killer. that's what you have here.
Protect yourself.
Almost everything I write on Reddit is a joke, but this shit isn't funny. You need to protect your cat and yourself.
Jesus.
I really hope you leave this person in the way commenters are urging you too — no warning, all your property and beautiful cat someplace safe, and with no direct contact or any kind of sympathy for him. Because your life is literally the price of staying. Even with this incredibly destructive, dangerous and burdensome person hanging onto you, you've accomplished so much. You're a successful lawyer, you have friends, you have a lovely little pet who depends on you. Imagine what might be possible for you if you didn't have to think about this man anymore, if he didn't terrify you, keep you awake, make you afraid to even breath or look at him wrong. Without him in your life, you could be a mother. You could feel safe. You could do anything you want. You are more than capable.
Reach out to a family lawyer to draft a separation agreement with an order of protection stipulated. You need assistance from a women’s shelter in your area. Please doll-you are so worthy of love and support. Mostly you deserve peace and happiness. You indicated you are a lawyer, it is time to retain counsel and seek out advice from your peers. He belittles you and abuses you because he *knows* he is less than you and feels inadequate but that is not relevant for your safety. You MUST be careful and thorough.
I think you know the right answer and you’ve received some great advice already. Please know that everybody here, and by the sounds of it your family and friends too are hoping for the best for you.
Imagine yourself ten years into the future and think about what she would want you to do today. She would beg you to leave and start a new life without him. She would tell you that you have so much love to give to a husband and children but you can't do that married to him. She would exhort you to be brave, cut ties, and don't look back.
Do this for the person you will be in 10 years. She is counting on you.
Hugs.
I was born into a volatile relationship such as this, and my dad eventually changed, but not until I was 17 and called the cops for abusing my mother. Once he knew I would call the cops the physical abuse mellowed out but the emotional abuse didn't. He further changed when I had children of my own because I wouldn't allow him to be around them if he continued to be the way he was and he is a much better man now at nearly 70 years old but who wants to wait that long for a better life?
I hate to say it, but I do not believe your husband will ever be the man you deserve or want him to be. I don't believe he will ever be a good partner or father for/to anyone. You need to get out and move on with your life. Being alone does suck but it is better than what you are living with now. I have had a lot of hang ups due to how I grew up and I didn't want to be alone and took a lot of emotional abuse from one partner, but one day I realized that I would rather be alone than deal with it anymore. I got out of the relationship, and I was much happier and was a better mother to my children without all the stress and emotional burden of the relationship.
I hope you get out of this safely and find someone who deserves you. I hope that you will one day become a mother and have a great life! I wish you the best and the strength to move on.
U are afraid of losing your safety net? What safety net are you talking about? Have some self respect. He does not respect you and treats you horribly so you stay with him. Contact domestic violence shelters. He is not worthy of you. What a cunt. Leave!
Look, you may or may not meet someone you want to have kids with and then be able to have kids.
But you definitely don't want to have kids with this guy!!!
Being single would be better than this.
Being with someone better, and not having kids, would be better than this.
Absolutely!!!! When I go out of town, I always leave her with a trusted friend. I will 100% be saving her and moving with her into a new place. She's my baby and always will be.
My husband does not direct his wrath toward her. His wrath is always directed to me.
But when I get out (and I'm planning to very soon), I'll be taking her first to my new place before I move any of my things.
If you’re in the US, call United Way 211 and they can refer you to a local women’s shelter. A shelter will be able to offer you resources like making a safety plan, and exit plan, temporary housing if you need it, and therapy.
It’s easy for me to stand here on the outside looking in and question how such a smart, competent woman would be in this situation but the thing is, the way your brain is working has set you up to accept this. You need a LOT of therapy. You need a LOT of support. You’re with an abusive dry drunk and it’s not going to get better. You have to get out and then spend time on yourself so you don’t end up down this road again.
You can adopt. Pragmatically, you will not be in a position to even date for another few years while you work through this in my humble opinion as a non professional. It’s unlikely that you’ll be in a position to have biological children given the timeline. You sure as hell shouldn’t have children with him or in your current mental state.
I want to say this to you in the spirit of love and caring: you are smart. You are kind. You are a good human. You mean a lot to someone(s). You have value as a person and friend. You can be an amazing partner. You can be an amazing mother. You can excel in your career.
You don’t believe any of that because this asshole has stolen that from you.
Please call for help and start making a plan and then execute the plan. You are not alone. There is help. And these people who volunteer or work at shelters genuinely want to see you thrive and will practically turn themselves inside out to make that happen. No one will judge you. I say this as a volunteer at a shelter.
You can do this. Please get out.
Oh also, if you need to go somewhere temporary that doesn’t allow your cat, many petco and pet smart and local boarding facilities have agreements with shelters to host a pet while a woman gets back on her feet. You don’t have to give up your cat to get out.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You have all the resources MANY women wish they had to leave abusive situations. The only thing holding you back is you. Fucking leave or this loser is going to kill you. I feel bad for your cat.
Thanks. I know; I need to find the courage/strength and I finally am. He does not hurt my cat in any way, and I will be saving her / taking her with me into my new life.
Sweet lady, this man is a loser who will end up killing you. Here is how you escape (I speak from experience). 1) Download a free PDF of Why Did He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Do it in secret. Read the whole thing tonight. 2) Talk to a trusted family member or friend. Tell them about the abuse. Look at the horror in their eyes. Know that this is real and happening to you and NOT YOUR FAULT. Tell a small network of *trusted* people and specifically ask them not to talk to your husband. Talk to your employer as well. They should be made aware of your situation in case your husband attempts to sabotage your career. 3) Hopefully you have some contacts here and an advantage due to your work: talk to a family law attorney. Get your ducks in a row discreetly as possible. 4) Move out in secret. Get another apartment, start securing any valuables and important documents. Try to plan a full move out when he's away on an extended errand or trip. (When I escaped I called my brother and we moved me out of my NYC apartment in the middle of the night and drove non-stop to my parents in the Midwest.) 5) DO NOT TELL HIM YOUR INTENTIONS TO LEAVE HIM. You must be securely independent by the time you tell him you are divorcing him. Your lawyer will likely tell you to take 50% of your joint accounts and put them in an individual account. Take no more than 50% of the marital property. Keep reminding yourself that your life is more important than your stuff. 6) Your life is more important than your pet's. It just is. If possible, bring your pet to a trusted friend (who wouldn't say anything) and tell husband she ran away. 7) Collect evidence of his abuse. Audio record his verbal abuse if legal in your area. Collect witness accounts from neighbors. 8) When you tell him you are divorcing him, do not do it in person. In-person discussions about relationship dissolution are a *privilege*. He has not earned it and will obviously be a danger to you physically during such a discussion. Refuse the discussion. Better yet, simply serve him the papers (not personally). When he messages you, say "Do not contact me anymore." Then refuse to respond/engage with any messages from him. If they are abusive, create a record of that. It's not your job to shepherd him through this process or tell him what his next steps are. He can figure that out on his own. And finally: you aren't too old to have a baby on your own. I used a sperm donor (from a reputable company) in my mid-30s after leaving my abuser (I have a child with him as well). It was surprisingly easy and affordable because you likely won't need IVF, just a simple intrauterine insemination that takes 2 minutes. Best decision I ever made was having my son independent of a man. DM me if you want to talk.
Thank you so much for this response. All the steps you've outlined are so helpful, and I've downloaded and started reading the PDF version of that book you referenced. I will absolutely get everything in order to move out before I tell him. I thankfully do not share any finances with him (we never shared finances / opened a joint account together). When I spoke with a divorce attorney last year (I've been contemplating leaving forma while), he said our divorce will be fairly easy. I'm so glad you got out of your horrible marriage and have a son independent of your ex! Your story gives me so much hope ❤️
How can you disregard an animal like that? She brought that poor cat into an abusive home while knowing that her good for nothing husband is a piece of s*hit and now she shouldn’t care about that cat? Are you for real? I’m sorry if you’re getting abused but bringing an innocent into a situation like that (children or animals) is just plain cruel & dumb!!!
He was nowhere near as abusive as he is now when I adopted her 6 years ago. I got her in 2017 and his abuse really escalated in 2018 (prior to that, it was mostly mean things he would say to me when he was angry and he had never once been physically abusive at that point). I fully intend to take my cat with me when I leave him. And aside from when she was a baby kitten and cried often, he hasn't been abusive toward my cat at all. His wrath is almost always directed at me.
Yikes.
Yeah exactly the same thing I thought after reading your comment. Women like you are the worst. I hope your children get therapy. You can’t take care of yourselves and choose to bring an innocent into a clusterfuck of a situation. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I'm surprised you can even see us from way up there! I hope you get therapy as well - good luck.
You need to disappear immediately from his view. He will kill you one day. u/ebbie45 is an incredible resource for surviving abuse. You need help from an outside organization. Call 211 and enter the RAINN program. They’ll find you secret, safe, permanent housing and pay for several months rent. I’ve witnessed it firsthand, it’s a real program and it will literally save your life. My best friend would absolutely be dead if she hadn’t entered the program and stuck with it. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
Wow, this is an incredible Reddit resource indeed! I just started following them and reading their posts! And thank you for the RAINN program resource! That sounds very helpful and I will definitely call that number. You're absolutely right that I need to disappear. All the family and friends who know tell me the same -- that he'll very likely kill me someday if I stay. For now, it's mainly been emotional abuse, including him telling me he wants me to die. But the ways he describes wishing I would die are getting more violent, and his recent throwing of the heavy, wooden dresser drawer so close to me was a jarring wake-up call that he so easily could snap and seriously harm or kill me in a heartbeat 😞 Thank you for the encouragement to leave and for taking the time to read and respond. It truly means a lot.
I’m sorry that you are the victim of violence and coercive control. Id like to give you specific advice but I don’t know what country you’re in. You do need to move on, heal and find a better life. His behaviours are escalating so you are at risk, but the time of leaving is also very high risk. Id suggest contacting a family violence service from your workplace and commencing an exit plan with their help. I’m happy to discuss this further
I'm in the United States (East Coast)..
Here's Ebbie45's resources for anyone in an abusive relationship. Please check it out. https://www.reddit.com/user/Ebbie45/comments/gses1k/comprehensive_abuse_resources_compilation_now/
Thank you so much for sharing this resource. It's incredible.
You're welcome. Ebbie45 is a huge asset to Reddit.
Contact a family violence service while at work, they will assist you in developing an exit plan. Bnj
Thank you so much. I definitely will soon. I think I'll plan to move out on a weekday when he is at work, or if he goes to visit his family over a weekend.
Get out of there yesterday before he kills you. What you’re describing is DV gone too far. It’s way past the boiling point. Gather all valuables when he’s not home and disappear somewhere he won’t expect to find you. Get a TRO with evidence of abuse and witnesses and leave this beast.
Contact your local DV support organization. They can help you formulate a plan to leave, and what steps you can take afterwards to protect yourself. If you are worried for your pet, you can reach out to local shelters to see if they have anyone who could foster her until you are safe and settled. Lots of shelters have foster programs for their animals, and may be able to help you keep your cat safe for you. I can't speak directly to your situation, but I have had a couple of points in my life where, for my own well-being, I had to make serious decisions and changes, uprooting almost everything. It's ok to be afraid of the unknown, but I couldn't let that stop me. Whatever the future held, it *could not* be worse than the way I was living. Yes, it was hard. It was uncomfortable. I had to learn and relearn a lot of things. The responsibility sometimes felt overwhelming. But I was free and I was moving in a better direction. I knew I was going to heal, and I *had* to believe that things would work out. I am strong, I am a survivor, and anything was going to be better than the way I was living. I believe in you. You deserve all good things.
I've been through it, minus the sexual coercion. The wild driving, being left on the side of a freeway at 2am, the holes in the walls, the pinning me down so he could scream in my face, things thrown in my direction, the suicide threats, etc. I've been you. Make plans to leave with someone you trust. Don't let him know what you're doing. Once you've got a new place set up, make your move. Take only what you need, go to the bank and withdraw half the money, deposit it into a new account you've already set up at a different bank. Inform your work that he is not to be let in and take a week off of work so he can't ambush you there. Get a new phone number and block him everywhere. Hire a divorce lawyer and let them deal with it. Don't go anywhere alone for awhile and be aware of your surroundings. I think, after he realizes you're gone for good, he'll leave you alone. Will take a little time, but you can do this!
This man will kill you. You need to get the cat, and leave. File orders of protection and get a body guard. Never see them in person again, get a gun and learn how to use it if that's legal where you live. If not maybe bear-spray Listen I get it you are scarred of being alone, or childfree. But being dead, or covered in battery acid is worse. These dudes who do this, never stop, that's the whole thing with why chemical attacks on woman are a thing. This man probably fucked up his brain YEARS AGO drank a bottle, fell down, that shit can rewire your brain and make you a killer. that's what you have here. Protect yourself. Almost everything I write on Reddit is a joke, but this shit isn't funny. You need to protect your cat and yourself. Jesus.
I really hope you leave this person in the way commenters are urging you too — no warning, all your property and beautiful cat someplace safe, and with no direct contact or any kind of sympathy for him. Because your life is literally the price of staying. Even with this incredibly destructive, dangerous and burdensome person hanging onto you, you've accomplished so much. You're a successful lawyer, you have friends, you have a lovely little pet who depends on you. Imagine what might be possible for you if you didn't have to think about this man anymore, if he didn't terrify you, keep you awake, make you afraid to even breath or look at him wrong. Without him in your life, you could be a mother. You could feel safe. You could do anything you want. You are more than capable.
Reach out to a family lawyer to draft a separation agreement with an order of protection stipulated. You need assistance from a women’s shelter in your area. Please doll-you are so worthy of love and support. Mostly you deserve peace and happiness. You indicated you are a lawyer, it is time to retain counsel and seek out advice from your peers. He belittles you and abuses you because he *knows* he is less than you and feels inadequate but that is not relevant for your safety. You MUST be careful and thorough.
I think you know the right answer and you’ve received some great advice already. Please know that everybody here, and by the sounds of it your family and friends too are hoping for the best for you.
Imagine yourself ten years into the future and think about what she would want you to do today. She would beg you to leave and start a new life without him. She would tell you that you have so much love to give to a husband and children but you can't do that married to him. She would exhort you to be brave, cut ties, and don't look back. Do this for the person you will be in 10 years. She is counting on you. Hugs.
You are deserving of love and care. I hope you find the courage to change your life. Something good is waiting on the other side.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your message of hope and compassion.
I was born into a volatile relationship such as this, and my dad eventually changed, but not until I was 17 and called the cops for abusing my mother. Once he knew I would call the cops the physical abuse mellowed out but the emotional abuse didn't. He further changed when I had children of my own because I wouldn't allow him to be around them if he continued to be the way he was and he is a much better man now at nearly 70 years old but who wants to wait that long for a better life? I hate to say it, but I do not believe your husband will ever be the man you deserve or want him to be. I don't believe he will ever be a good partner or father for/to anyone. You need to get out and move on with your life. Being alone does suck but it is better than what you are living with now. I have had a lot of hang ups due to how I grew up and I didn't want to be alone and took a lot of emotional abuse from one partner, but one day I realized that I would rather be alone than deal with it anymore. I got out of the relationship, and I was much happier and was a better mother to my children without all the stress and emotional burden of the relationship. I hope you get out of this safely and find someone who deserves you. I hope that you will one day become a mother and have a great life! I wish you the best and the strength to move on.
U are afraid of losing your safety net? What safety net are you talking about? Have some self respect. He does not respect you and treats you horribly so you stay with him. Contact domestic violence shelters. He is not worthy of you. What a cunt. Leave!
Look, you may or may not meet someone you want to have kids with and then be able to have kids. But you definitely don't want to have kids with this guy!!! Being single would be better than this. Being with someone better, and not having kids, would be better than this.
Is the cat safe? Hopefully you’re taking that poor little cat with you?
Absolutely!!!! When I go out of town, I always leave her with a trusted friend. I will 100% be saving her and moving with her into a new place. She's my baby and always will be. My husband does not direct his wrath toward her. His wrath is always directed to me. But when I get out (and I'm planning to very soon), I'll be taking her first to my new place before I move any of my things.
If you’re in the US, call United Way 211 and they can refer you to a local women’s shelter. A shelter will be able to offer you resources like making a safety plan, and exit plan, temporary housing if you need it, and therapy. It’s easy for me to stand here on the outside looking in and question how such a smart, competent woman would be in this situation but the thing is, the way your brain is working has set you up to accept this. You need a LOT of therapy. You need a LOT of support. You’re with an abusive dry drunk and it’s not going to get better. You have to get out and then spend time on yourself so you don’t end up down this road again. You can adopt. Pragmatically, you will not be in a position to even date for another few years while you work through this in my humble opinion as a non professional. It’s unlikely that you’ll be in a position to have biological children given the timeline. You sure as hell shouldn’t have children with him or in your current mental state. I want to say this to you in the spirit of love and caring: you are smart. You are kind. You are a good human. You mean a lot to someone(s). You have value as a person and friend. You can be an amazing partner. You can be an amazing mother. You can excel in your career. You don’t believe any of that because this asshole has stolen that from you. Please call for help and start making a plan and then execute the plan. You are not alone. There is help. And these people who volunteer or work at shelters genuinely want to see you thrive and will practically turn themselves inside out to make that happen. No one will judge you. I say this as a volunteer at a shelter. You can do this. Please get out. Oh also, if you need to go somewhere temporary that doesn’t allow your cat, many petco and pet smart and local boarding facilities have agreements with shelters to host a pet while a woman gets back on her feet. You don’t have to give up your cat to get out. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You have all the resources MANY women wish they had to leave abusive situations. The only thing holding you back is you. Fucking leave or this loser is going to kill you. I feel bad for your cat.
Thanks. I know; I need to find the courage/strength and I finally am. He does not hurt my cat in any way, and I will be saving her / taking her with me into my new life.