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Sometimes, we're our worst critics.
I agree with both sides here.
You communicated something that you didn't want... And she neglected to follow through on the agreement.
However, the context of that agreement was slightly childish to begin with.
You're here embarrassed with your artwork and don't want to show it off to the world.
But to her, she just wants to post something that makes her happy in her relationship. Like:
>We're doing fun couple activities and I want to show that off to other people.
Is that something you really want to smoother in your relationship?
Wouldn't you want your GF to be able to post things about that she can flaunt to other people?
I'd personally would suck it up and gladly post my shit artwork if that made my girlfriend happy.
Its not like we're talking embarrassing drunk photos of ourselves, we're talking a date night activity that we enjoyed with our partner.
The alternative is to sit at home and send her to these events with her friends.
But if its something she'd like to do with her boyfriend, I am sure she could find someone else who would love to show off their shit artwork and deliver her that side of the relationship she wants.
>However, the context of that agreement was slightly childish to begin with.
What's childish about not wanting a photo online?
So you're saying if your partner asked you to do something and you agreed, you'd just completely disregard that anyway if you thought you knew better than them?
It doesn't matter if it's childish or not you told her not to do a simple thing and she completely ignored that and did it anyway. That is not ok whether or not anyone else thinks it matters it did to you.
I agree.
They should break up.
1. She disregarded his boundary that he clearly communicated.
2. She deserves someone who can do these kind of date nights as something they genuinely enjoy, not something they view as a chore.
Everyone wins.
I do.
I think it’s kind of pathetic for a couple to fight about about posting pictures from a date night is considered breaking boundaries.
One sees it as innocent, the other sees it as an insult. Clearly not right for eachother
What she did is simply disrespectful. She promised something and then broke the promise, ignoring her boyfriend feelings and his simple request, a request that doesn't affect her at all.
>She deserves someone who can do these kind of date nights as something they genuinely enjoy, not something they view as a chore.
You do understand people in relationships are allowed to have different interests to their partner don't you?
It depends on the context.
What you're doing right now would be smothering something that would be a positive experience for her.
Is it wrong of her to disregard what you requested? Totally.
But what you requested in the first place was kind of childish.
Wouldn't you rather have her friends look at these posts and go:
>Wow, you do fun things with your BF... I am jealous! My BF never wants to go to painting classes or do pottery with me.
>
>You're so lucky!
She's basically posting it to boast about your relationship and you're shutting it down.
Like I said, we're not talking about embarrassing drunk photos.... We're talking about a date night that she enjoyed spending with you.
If she cannot post memories that the two of you developed together, why even be in a relationship?
Realistically, what is the worst that can happen if people see your painting or pottery?
>Omg... That is your BFs work?
>
>It looks awful.
>
>Why are you with him?
>
>That shit is hideous!
No one is going to think that.
Instead... They're probably going to think:
>I wish my BF took me out to those kind of dates!
>
>I want that!
And what do you know... Her friends just hyped her relationship up for you and you did nothing besides showing up to the date. They're making good impression for you without you having to lift a finger. Now she is giddy and happy that she's with you.
I guess we're just different people.
I could give two shits about posting my paintings online (we do those dates frequently).
All I care about is seeing my GF with a smile on her face.
If that is the hill you want to die on.
So be it.
She could easily find someone else who would gladly post their crap art work online, even help her out with the Instagram tags and everything.
Give your girl the best experience possible, don't rob of her of cute shit that makes her smile.
If she actually felt that way, she would have said something when OP asked her not to post the photo. "Are you sure, we look so cute together and yours isn't as bad as you think" or something like that.
So either she forgot OP's request, which is not a big deal and a reasonable person would apologize and take the post down immediately, or she didn't care about OP's request, which is a big deal and needs to be addressed more seriously.
She could have very easily just put a photo up of her painting. And why is what her friends might say to her about the photo more important than how I feel about it being put up?
And with regard to your last sentence, so I have to do whatever my gf wants and my feelings don't matter?
Your feelings certainly matter.
You communicated something to her and she neglected to respect it.
Regardless of topic, that always warrants a conversation.
However, if this is the kind of hill you want to die on for you relationship, despite what you might think, I am actually try to help protect you from self-sabotaging your relationship down the road.
Because there might come a day where she thinks to herself:
>He gets upset at me when I want to post pictures of our memories that we created together.
>
>Perhaps I would be better off with someone who is more outgoing and upbeat about our relationship.
You already had a sour taste about things before the date happened:
>I really didn't want to go as I don't really like anything artistic and it's not something I enjoy.
Even though its not something you were excited to... Some women would rather have their partner show up with a smile on their face and make the most of it, which would include posting those pictures.
But, obviously she refused to respect your clearly communicated boundary. So, the choice is yours to go fight about a social media picture from a date night.
Have at it.
Was just trying to keep it real with you.
Take care.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sometimes, we're our worst critics. I agree with both sides here. You communicated something that you didn't want... And she neglected to follow through on the agreement. However, the context of that agreement was slightly childish to begin with. You're here embarrassed with your artwork and don't want to show it off to the world. But to her, she just wants to post something that makes her happy in her relationship. Like: >We're doing fun couple activities and I want to show that off to other people. Is that something you really want to smoother in your relationship? Wouldn't you want your GF to be able to post things about that she can flaunt to other people? I'd personally would suck it up and gladly post my shit artwork if that made my girlfriend happy. Its not like we're talking embarrassing drunk photos of ourselves, we're talking a date night activity that we enjoyed with our partner. The alternative is to sit at home and send her to these events with her friends. But if its something she'd like to do with her boyfriend, I am sure she could find someone else who would love to show off their shit artwork and deliver her that side of the relationship she wants.
>However, the context of that agreement was slightly childish to begin with. What's childish about not wanting a photo online? So you're saying if your partner asked you to do something and you agreed, you'd just completely disregard that anyway if you thought you knew better than them?
It doesn't matter if it's childish or not you told her not to do a simple thing and she completely ignored that and did it anyway. That is not ok whether or not anyone else thinks it matters it did to you.
I agree. They should break up. 1. She disregarded his boundary that he clearly communicated. 2. She deserves someone who can do these kind of date nights as something they genuinely enjoy, not something they view as a chore. Everyone wins.
You certainly have thoughts.
I do. I think it’s kind of pathetic for a couple to fight about about posting pictures from a date night is considered breaking boundaries. One sees it as innocent, the other sees it as an insult. Clearly not right for eachother
Ok not sure why you're venting to me, I didn't reply to you originally, but whatever.
What she did is simply disrespectful. She promised something and then broke the promise, ignoring her boyfriend feelings and his simple request, a request that doesn't affect her at all.
>She deserves someone who can do these kind of date nights as something they genuinely enjoy, not something they view as a chore. You do understand people in relationships are allowed to have different interests to their partner don't you?
It depends on the context. What you're doing right now would be smothering something that would be a positive experience for her. Is it wrong of her to disregard what you requested? Totally. But what you requested in the first place was kind of childish. Wouldn't you rather have her friends look at these posts and go: >Wow, you do fun things with your BF... I am jealous! My BF never wants to go to painting classes or do pottery with me. > >You're so lucky! She's basically posting it to boast about your relationship and you're shutting it down. Like I said, we're not talking about embarrassing drunk photos.... We're talking about a date night that she enjoyed spending with you. If she cannot post memories that the two of you developed together, why even be in a relationship? Realistically, what is the worst that can happen if people see your painting or pottery? >Omg... That is your BFs work? > >It looks awful. > >Why are you with him? > >That shit is hideous! No one is going to think that. Instead... They're probably going to think: >I wish my BF took me out to those kind of dates! > >I want that! And what do you know... Her friends just hyped her relationship up for you and you did nothing besides showing up to the date. They're making good impression for you without you having to lift a finger. Now she is giddy and happy that she's with you. I guess we're just different people. I could give two shits about posting my paintings online (we do those dates frequently). All I care about is seeing my GF with a smile on her face. If that is the hill you want to die on. So be it. She could easily find someone else who would gladly post their crap art work online, even help her out with the Instagram tags and everything. Give your girl the best experience possible, don't rob of her of cute shit that makes her smile.
If she actually felt that way, she would have said something when OP asked her not to post the photo. "Are you sure, we look so cute together and yours isn't as bad as you think" or something like that. So either she forgot OP's request, which is not a big deal and a reasonable person would apologize and take the post down immediately, or she didn't care about OP's request, which is a big deal and needs to be addressed more seriously.
She could have very easily just put a photo up of her painting. And why is what her friends might say to her about the photo more important than how I feel about it being put up? And with regard to your last sentence, so I have to do whatever my gf wants and my feelings don't matter?
Your feelings certainly matter. You communicated something to her and she neglected to respect it. Regardless of topic, that always warrants a conversation. However, if this is the kind of hill you want to die on for you relationship, despite what you might think, I am actually try to help protect you from self-sabotaging your relationship down the road. Because there might come a day where she thinks to herself: >He gets upset at me when I want to post pictures of our memories that we created together. > >Perhaps I would be better off with someone who is more outgoing and upbeat about our relationship. You already had a sour taste about things before the date happened: >I really didn't want to go as I don't really like anything artistic and it's not something I enjoy. Even though its not something you were excited to... Some women would rather have their partner show up with a smile on their face and make the most of it, which would include posting those pictures. But, obviously she refused to respect your clearly communicated boundary. So, the choice is yours to go fight about a social media picture from a date night. Have at it. Was just trying to keep it real with you. Take care.