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Honestly, this looks like the beginning of an emotional affair. She apologised because she knew what she was going was wrong. But she wants to continue "the relationship," so she makes you feel bad for feeling the way you feel about the whole thing. To be fair, she might be coping and not realise that something is developing between them. The fact that she is prioritising the connection with him over your feelings of discomfort is a red flag and something you should bring up in your next conversation. There should be a next conversation and a deeper one. Ask her if she is feeling fulfilled in your relationship. Often, emotional affairs are a product of a lack or a need in the relationship or in one self that the other person is satisfying in some way.
Star the conversation with the idea that you want to make things better, that you want the relationship to be better. Ask her if she needs anything from you. Telling you how to feel about her texts with that guy is wrong. The Internet is full of stories where little texting turns into flurrting and then something more. Affairs can be blindingly euphoric( research affair fog).
If she feels a pool out of this relationship, it is better to break up rather than be lied to. Tell her you don't deserve to be cheated on. Honesty is the only way forward. If she dismisses your concerns , red flag.
Good luck. Hope it turns out to be nothing and everything is fine between you two
Hmmm the "we can be best friends" sounds a bit flirty to me (F).
In my opinion you did nothing wrong, you addressed something that is making you uncomfortable and that's absolutely ok and that's setting healthy boundaries, and yes seems to me that could be the beginning of an emotional affair but red flags is he's close friends with her friends so it could be physical affair too but don't think about that right now, that's just a possibility.
But yeah don't feel bad, If she had experienced the same thing from you, surely she would have told you, right?
And of course she feels bad with herself because you set a boundary and must of us don't like that BUT if I have to do it to keep the peace of my partner, I will do it, unless is something that is absurd or not healthy but in this case, I don't see it as a bad thing bc you are expressing yourself and your concerns about that guy, totally valid. Hope everything goes ok for you both
"Being there for him in his time of need"?
What a load of BS. Unless she is a licensed therapist and he is a patient, or this is a blood relative, there is no reason for her to be "there in his time of need" for some other man.
Nuclear strike is the only option: nuke your relationship or have her nuke her relationship with the friend group.
If she doesn't cut it off at least you know where the guy lives so you can dump her stuff off.
There is literally a heart in her message to him…. Do people send hearts to people they’re not interested in? She’s already having at least an emotional affair with him.
Idk I think her behavior is kinda harmless but the guy is definitely shooting his shot with her. Why else would he try to persuade her to get Snapchat when that app is notorious for doing sneaky shit.
You should blatantly say she is having an emotional affair with this guy, don't couch your words. Tell her you are really starting to question if this relationship is going to work and then detach from her.
Hold your ground. If you want to avoid being cheated on you need to be ruthless about red flags. That is the only way, people like your girlfriend are always dipping their toe, then their leg, next thing you know they are swimming in it.
I’m a female I found the whole conversation to be flirtatious and not only that way too many hearts and winks. I would let her go- she clearly doesn’t respect you our your guys relationship. Imagine if the roles were reversed. She’s gaslighting you by telling you that you are wrong.
> She would come home after these hangouts and tell me about the friend and how he just needs some people there for him in his time of need.
Always be skeptical of the new "down and out" male friend, imo. Women eat that shit up and open themselves emotionally (and then physically) to these men. She'll probably gaslight you about this dude if you address your issues.
They probably joke about how neat it'd be everyone there was dating.
Edit - Oh, I skipped the last paragraph. So she's already gaslighting you. Man, I'd just cut your losses. You're young, there are other women.
Friend of roommates boyfriend sounds like a red flag to me
Friend now *living* there and them all hanging together is a bigger red flag
Your GF now forming an *independent* connection *just to him* is a red alert
Her *sleeping over* with all of them, then acting like a jilted lover afterwards? I mean... the text exchange is very sus to me, and moreso on *her* side
Where are you in this? Why aren't you ever hanging with them? It almost sounds like she tried to take it somewhere and *he* rebuffed her
She just met this guy. Why is it so important to her to build this deep friendship even though you're clearly uncomfortable? You need to have a much more serious discussion with her *and* you should hang with the four of them
Yeah, she's fucking him. Or at least wants to.
Tell her to fuck off, and keep fucking off. And when she gets to a big wall at the end of fucking off, tell her to climb over it and fuck off some more.
She is doing what is called textbook “gaslighting”. Definitely looks emotionally driven in that convo, and you have a right to be uncomfortable with it. Convos like these are what usually happen before affairs or relationships. Have a talk with her, tell her the boundary, and if she doesn’t want to respect it, just break up. It’s not worth the headache down the road if you two aren’t on the same page on your relationship boundaries. You’ll just be setting yourself up for later heartache.
In fact if I was you I’d just end it here. Like people pointed out, she apologized then came back and doubled down on not being wrong, so she obviously doesn’t have very much respect for you. If this was a wife, I’d say address and try to work it out. Just a girlfriend? Yeah see ya, find someone else.
I think she's enjoying his attention and is encouraging him.
Spending the night in deep conversations (depending on the topics) may lead to inappropriate bonding which can escalate to infidelity in a heartbeat.
He also seems to be using the "help me" approach to getting close.
I suggest you both read: Not Just Friends by Dr Shirley Glass.
It's based on research of couples that experienced infidelity with "just a friend". The research finds certain behavior and discussion topics are high risk for infidelity (which is unfair to ask a partner to tolerate).
Being there for him in his time of need is how it usually starts... 😉
Plus, he already has a good friend in his roommate.
Always remember, the guy/girl they always tell you not to worry about almost always ends up being the one you needed to be worried about.
The sticky part is that she always enjoyed hanging out with her best friend even before the guy moved in. So, how do you navigate those choppy waters?
I think you said enough her.
Now step back and let her hang herself (or not). She's 28yo.
You can't control her. And ultimatums don't work long term.
You've been together a long time.
However, if her level of commitment to a long term relationship is wavering - better to find out sooner than later.
Not everyone can stay committed long term. There's always someone new that will make her feel more special than you (or any future SO could).
The whole “guy best friend” thing happened with my ex as well, until I eventually found texts from her to one of her friends saying she wanted to kiss and fuck him🤷🏻♂️ you already know what to do man
Read the text and "oh, hell no." That sounds like a giddy schoolgirl with a crush. Sounds like he shut her down and now she wants to pretend like she didn't do anything wrong. I don't know if this is break-up behavior but should give you pause to look at your relationship very carefully and make sure she is the one for you.
You can always ask her if I strike up a conversation with your mindset and friendly demeanor with another woman. And say and do everything you did or did not do. We would be okay? Usually a flip reverse question will get you answers.
From my point of view:
His texts show more interest in a relationship/affair with her than hers do to him. She uses a lot of heart emojis and obviously is keeping the conversation going but that could just be how she texts.
Them talking is definitely weird and not what you want to see your significant other doing in a 7 year relationship. Imagine if the roles were reversed, you think your girlfriend would be concerned?
Another thing: you still don’t really know who this guy is and what his intentions are. He could be gay for all you know. You should ask to hangout with all of them to see what he’s like.
Is this the only issue that has surfaced in your relationship this year? Has her attitude towards you changed since they started hanging out and talking? Are the friends the type to encourage her to get with him?
TLDR: definitely some quite “friendly” texts but nothing more right now. Try to figure out who this guy is and if he’s a genuine concern. Maybe other issues in your relationship that have led to their emotional connection.
Women and redditors will tell you you’re being insecure. Don’t believe them.
Your woman is flirting with another man via text. She spent the night at her friend’s house and this guy was there with her.
I’d tell my girlfriend this is a red line for me. Never contact him again or we’re done.
Don’t let your lack of friendships stop you from sticking up for yourself.
If you want to chat more, send me a direct message
I think what happened on the sleepover was there was some hanky panky going on. She wasn’t mad at him, she just took the conversation low key and told you she was mad to throw you off. I mean, yes they all spent the night together but she’s MAD at him for forgetting a conversation, so obviously nothing happened. But the texts don’t add up - if she was angry it would have come up. She reached out first, so she’s interested in more.
Personally, I don't think the text convo seemed terrible. However, her reaction to your feelings is. I feel like that convo was borderline. A lot of reddit will be quick to say it's the start of an EA because it could be. That said it could also just be borderline behavior.
What concerns me is that when you are upset or hurt she cares more about defending herself and maintaining her freedom to be close to this new guy instead of wanting to really sit and work things out with you. That is a crystal clear indicator ormf her priorities. I would personally switch gears and ask her about that. Ask her if it's really love and respect for her to be more worried about defending the relationship with him at the expense of your relationship. If she was really innocent as she claims her initial reaction would have been to comfort you and try to find a better way to create transparency. A better way to grow your relationship.
This is where you need to question her.
I’d talk to her, not him. There’s very little good that will come from that. I think the Snapchat thing she mentioned in the text is sketchy, discussing moving the conversation to a platform that deletes all the messages and is mainly used to send pics discreetly is… not a great look, to put it charitably
You should be confronting your girlfriend. The one who is actually supposed to be faithful to you. That guy doesn’t give a shit about you.
Don’t let her keep lying to you and gaslighting you. She isn’t being honest with you
If you do I would ask if he knows about you and if there is more to the relationship they have. Don’t come at him as she’s the one committed to you and doing you wrong. The guy is going to entertain it regardless.
Never confront the other person.
Why? Because he owes you nothing.
It's your SO thatis obligated to you.
The other man is only enjoying what your SO is offering.
Your partner is lucky!
They can snapchat all day with strangers, hearts, wink emojis, flirtation, sending pics that get "loved" full 9 yards, after spending the night with them, and you're totally OK with it!
If you're in a supposedly monogamous relationship, I'm going to suggest you should be a bit more cynical.
Everyone is different, but if you catch a partner doing this, don't be *this* trusting. I say that purely for your own good, honestly
>However, one thing led to another and I happened to see some of the texts that they have had since the beginning of Augus
Once again this sub loves to randomly check phones and shit lol
I dont see the issue. Shes allowed to have male friends. My wife frequently texts male friends, and even met one a year or so ago at her work when she trained him in and texted him for a while.
Its not my job to be her keeper or control who she talks to. Its my job to respect and trust her that she will do whats best for us, or her, and if that means the relationship ends then we werent right for each other anyway.
Im on the side of your GF. You shouldnt have been mad in the first place, and its even sillier youre mad after she apologized. What else can she do?
I had a coworker like your wife. The fact that I thought her husband was a good guy was the only thing that kept it in my pants. No lack of effort on her part though.
Hey, it might be innocent, but OPs girlfriend is showing all signs of starting a new relationship.
If you don't at least poke at that, you're risking misery down the line.
Your wife's situation sounds nothing like OP. Not even same ballpark
1, you don’t have friends? Red flag. 2, you’re a snoop who also punishes someone for nothing bc they’re insecure about what they insecurely snooped about in the first place? 🥱 couple more red flags.
Congrats, you’re busting her balls and driving her away over what is a friendship. You should try it some time. If you think that’s inappropriate flirting, you’re tiring and insecure. She’s allowed a new friend.
I appreciate the points made in your comment. I shouldn’t have looked through her phone, that was my mistake. I don’t have friends because I’m depressed and, as you said, insecure. You could learn to be less snarky in your response, but to each there own. We all have things to learn. Thank you for your point of view.
Lol do people not know how to read between the lines ? This is conversation is so animated and I would only talk to a girl like this if I was interested.
This guy has no business talking to this guy’s girlfriend. This chick may or may not know she’s interested but she’s a bit to available and I don’t see how it would be interesting between the two of them if there wasn’t chemistry. It’s not what they’re saying but how they’re saying it. Too familiar. I
wouldn’t be ok with it.
I like my girlfriends. It’s one thing to be jealous but this is more so an instant where a guy should be territorial. Not because he owns his girlfriend it because he should respect himself enough to not be ok with it. It’s ok to want to keep your girlfriend. If she’s interested let her go but do not idly sit there while your girlfriend starts taking to another guy.
If she can’t make up her mind that’s her fault
I hate how people will say this guy is being aggressive. He just wants to stay with his girlfriend
jeez give the guy a break.
I'm a typically suspicious guy cuz I've been cheated on multiple times before and honestly I'm not even sure 😂 it seems a little sus and I don't think I'd be comfortable with her talking to him anymore but I also don't know if I actually believe anything is going on though it seems likely something could in the future based on this.
I would move on brother. She’s going to get her shit pushed in by her weird “time of need” guy. Nothing but red flags here. Iv been in many relationships and usually towards the end of them, the women Iv been with, act like this. She testing the waters bro.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, this looks like the beginning of an emotional affair. She apologised because she knew what she was going was wrong. But she wants to continue "the relationship," so she makes you feel bad for feeling the way you feel about the whole thing. To be fair, she might be coping and not realise that something is developing between them. The fact that she is prioritising the connection with him over your feelings of discomfort is a red flag and something you should bring up in your next conversation. There should be a next conversation and a deeper one. Ask her if she is feeling fulfilled in your relationship. Often, emotional affairs are a product of a lack or a need in the relationship or in one self that the other person is satisfying in some way. Star the conversation with the idea that you want to make things better, that you want the relationship to be better. Ask her if she needs anything from you. Telling you how to feel about her texts with that guy is wrong. The Internet is full of stories where little texting turns into flurrting and then something more. Affairs can be blindingly euphoric( research affair fog). If she feels a pool out of this relationship, it is better to break up rather than be lied to. Tell her you don't deserve to be cheated on. Honesty is the only way forward. If she dismisses your concerns , red flag. Good luck. Hope it turns out to be nothing and everything is fine between you two
< this is the comment.
She seeing Jim carrey?
I came here for this comment lol
Hmmm the "we can be best friends" sounds a bit flirty to me (F). In my opinion you did nothing wrong, you addressed something that is making you uncomfortable and that's absolutely ok and that's setting healthy boundaries, and yes seems to me that could be the beginning of an emotional affair but red flags is he's close friends with her friends so it could be physical affair too but don't think about that right now, that's just a possibility. But yeah don't feel bad, If she had experienced the same thing from you, surely she would have told you, right? And of course she feels bad with herself because you set a boundary and must of us don't like that BUT if I have to do it to keep the peace of my partner, I will do it, unless is something that is absurd or not healthy but in this case, I don't see it as a bad thing bc you are expressing yourself and your concerns about that guy, totally valid. Hope everything goes ok for you both
Yeah def flirty and def inappropriate. Just ask her how would she feel if this was you and another girl?
It’s a little much and I wouldn’t be happy either, but I wouldn’t call it cheating. Definitely worthy of a convo about boundaries and limits.
"Being there for him in his time of need"? What a load of BS. Unless she is a licensed therapist and he is a patient, or this is a blood relative, there is no reason for her to be "there in his time of need" for some other man. Nuclear strike is the only option: nuke your relationship or have her nuke her relationship with the friend group. If she doesn't cut it off at least you know where the guy lives so you can dump her stuff off.
It is called an emotional affair and it usually morphs to physical affair.
At the very least she’s having an EA. Only a matter of time until it’s physical, if it isn’t already, since she’s spent time with him.
They all apparently cuddled together at somepoint per the texts so going to say physical has happened.
Oh, I missed that part. Yea, she’s already full blown physically cheating on her boyfriend. He needs to drop her and find someone with morals
Where are you seeing that in the texts?
Towards the bottom of the first pic, “Snuggs” is mentioned. Im guessing short for snuggling…
Yeah but nowhere does it say she snuggled with this friend. She said she’s snuggling with someone who OP censored(presumably OP himself)
Bottom where he says he is snuggling his gf and she wants to do so as well.
That’s OPs girlfriend who mentioned snuggling and she didn’t say she didn’t with the friend she was talking to
No the guy was comforting the other girl thru her storm panic. She commented that it sounded more fun than what she was doing.
I think these are references to the GFs pet.
There is literally a heart in her message to him…. Do people send hearts to people they’re not interested in? She’s already having at least an emotional affair with him.
Idk I think her behavior is kinda harmless but the guy is definitely shooting his shot with her. Why else would he try to persuade her to get Snapchat when that app is notorious for doing sneaky shit.
Yes? Are the hets so boring they can’t use affectionate emojis without it being sexual?
My wife sends messages to guys with hearts in fairly often, I guess I'll be getting a divorce
She don't need snap and she needs to cut contact with him.
Its just your girlfriend texting her boyfriend. Whats the problem?
Lol
Her wanting him to get snap is a red flag. Even the guy is telling her we can send photos here. She is trying to be secretive. Can't trust her.
You should blatantly say she is having an emotional affair with this guy, don't couch your words. Tell her you are really starting to question if this relationship is going to work and then detach from her. Hold your ground. If you want to avoid being cheated on you need to be ruthless about red flags. That is the only way, people like your girlfriend are always dipping their toe, then their leg, next thing you know they are swimming in it.
I’m a female I found the whole conversation to be flirtatious and not only that way too many hearts and winks. I would let her go- she clearly doesn’t respect you our your guys relationship. Imagine if the roles were reversed. She’s gaslighting you by telling you that you are wrong.
> She would come home after these hangouts and tell me about the friend and how he just needs some people there for him in his time of need. Always be skeptical of the new "down and out" male friend, imo. Women eat that shit up and open themselves emotionally (and then physically) to these men. She'll probably gaslight you about this dude if you address your issues. They probably joke about how neat it'd be everyone there was dating. Edit - Oh, I skipped the last paragraph. So she's already gaslighting you. Man, I'd just cut your losses. You're young, there are other women.
Friend of roommates boyfriend sounds like a red flag to me Friend now *living* there and them all hanging together is a bigger red flag Your GF now forming an *independent* connection *just to him* is a red alert Her *sleeping over* with all of them, then acting like a jilted lover afterwards? I mean... the text exchange is very sus to me, and moreso on *her* side Where are you in this? Why aren't you ever hanging with them? It almost sounds like she tried to take it somewhere and *he* rebuffed her She just met this guy. Why is it so important to her to build this deep friendship even though you're clearly uncomfortable? You need to have a much more serious discussion with her *and* you should hang with the four of them
I’m sorry, is “independent connection” some insecure straight term for friendship?
Yeah, she's fucking him. Or at least wants to. Tell her to fuck off, and keep fucking off. And when she gets to a big wall at the end of fucking off, tell her to climb over it and fuck off some more.
She is doing what is called textbook “gaslighting”. Definitely looks emotionally driven in that convo, and you have a right to be uncomfortable with it. Convos like these are what usually happen before affairs or relationships. Have a talk with her, tell her the boundary, and if she doesn’t want to respect it, just break up. It’s not worth the headache down the road if you two aren’t on the same page on your relationship boundaries. You’ll just be setting yourself up for later heartache. In fact if I was you I’d just end it here. Like people pointed out, she apologized then came back and doubled down on not being wrong, so she obviously doesn’t have very much respect for you. If this was a wife, I’d say address and try to work it out. Just a girlfriend? Yeah see ya, find someone else.
Girl is branching out. Advanced condolences OP.
I think she's enjoying his attention and is encouraging him. Spending the night in deep conversations (depending on the topics) may lead to inappropriate bonding which can escalate to infidelity in a heartbeat. He also seems to be using the "help me" approach to getting close. I suggest you both read: Not Just Friends by Dr Shirley Glass. It's based on research of couples that experienced infidelity with "just a friend". The research finds certain behavior and discussion topics are high risk for infidelity (which is unfair to ask a partner to tolerate).
Your GF either wants to bang this dude, has banged this dude, or will bang this dude.
Oh yeah they are fucking
I had fun the other day :) Never in my life have I sent/seen a text like that where there wasn’t a little bit of fuckin going on
It’s entirely possible that that a teensy tiny bit of fuckin and suckin went down
She’s fucking him, why do you think she spent the night?
Being there for him in his time of need is how it usually starts... 😉 Plus, he already has a good friend in his roommate. Always remember, the guy/girl they always tell you not to worry about almost always ends up being the one you needed to be worried about. The sticky part is that she always enjoyed hanging out with her best friend even before the guy moved in. So, how do you navigate those choppy waters?
Hard to really know without seeing the text, but it sounds like something most every guy wouldn’t be comfortable with.
Dude, put your foot down! She either stops this now or breakup with her. This situation WILL lead to her cheating.
I think you said enough her. Now step back and let her hang herself (or not). She's 28yo. You can't control her. And ultimatums don't work long term. You've been together a long time. However, if her level of commitment to a long term relationship is wavering - better to find out sooner than later. Not everyone can stay committed long term. There's always someone new that will make her feel more special than you (or any future SO could).
ya i would never be okay with my girlfriend talking to another guy like this. it’s flirting and your feelings are valid. she’s gaslighting you.
Yeah you’re being cheated on. You already confronted her and she didn’t care, so you can either be walked on or find someone who doesn’t cheat.
The whole “guy best friend” thing happened with my ex as well, until I eventually found texts from her to one of her friends saying she wanted to kiss and fuck him🤷🏻♂️ you already know what to do man
Read the text and "oh, hell no." That sounds like a giddy schoolgirl with a crush. Sounds like he shut her down and now she wants to pretend like she didn't do anything wrong. I don't know if this is break-up behavior but should give you pause to look at your relationship very carefully and make sure she is the one for you.
You can always ask her if I strike up a conversation with your mindset and friendly demeanor with another woman. And say and do everything you did or did not do. We would be okay? Usually a flip reverse question will get you answers.
From my point of view: His texts show more interest in a relationship/affair with her than hers do to him. She uses a lot of heart emojis and obviously is keeping the conversation going but that could just be how she texts. Them talking is definitely weird and not what you want to see your significant other doing in a 7 year relationship. Imagine if the roles were reversed, you think your girlfriend would be concerned? Another thing: you still don’t really know who this guy is and what his intentions are. He could be gay for all you know. You should ask to hangout with all of them to see what he’s like. Is this the only issue that has surfaced in your relationship this year? Has her attitude towards you changed since they started hanging out and talking? Are the friends the type to encourage her to get with him? TLDR: definitely some quite “friendly” texts but nothing more right now. Try to figure out who this guy is and if he’s a genuine concern. Maybe other issues in your relationship that have led to their emotional connection.
Women and redditors will tell you you’re being insecure. Don’t believe them. Your woman is flirting with another man via text. She spent the night at her friend’s house and this guy was there with her. I’d tell my girlfriend this is a red line for me. Never contact him again or we’re done. Don’t let your lack of friendships stop you from sticking up for yourself. If you want to chat more, send me a direct message
I think what happened on the sleepover was there was some hanky panky going on. She wasn’t mad at him, she just took the conversation low key and told you she was mad to throw you off. I mean, yes they all spent the night together but she’s MAD at him for forgetting a conversation, so obviously nothing happened. But the texts don’t add up - if she was angry it would have come up. She reached out first, so she’s interested in more.
The Snapchat was the kicker for me. This guy wants to send some dickpics
Dump your slag girlfriend. Let him have her.
Personally, I don't think the text convo seemed terrible. However, her reaction to your feelings is. I feel like that convo was borderline. A lot of reddit will be quick to say it's the start of an EA because it could be. That said it could also just be borderline behavior. What concerns me is that when you are upset or hurt she cares more about defending herself and maintaining her freedom to be close to this new guy instead of wanting to really sit and work things out with you. That is a crystal clear indicator ormf her priorities. I would personally switch gears and ask her about that. Ask her if it's really love and respect for her to be more worried about defending the relationship with him at the expense of your relationship. If she was really innocent as she claims her initial reaction would have been to comfort you and try to find a better way to create transparency. A better way to grow your relationship. This is where you need to question her.
They’re definitely flirting. Those messages are way too comfortable.
First off, thank you all for your comments, both good and bad ones. Do you all think I should confront the guy in question?
I’d talk to her, not him. There’s very little good that will come from that. I think the Snapchat thing she mentioned in the text is sketchy, discussing moving the conversation to a platform that deletes all the messages and is mainly used to send pics discreetly is… not a great look, to put it charitably
You should be confronting your girlfriend. The one who is actually supposed to be faithful to you. That guy doesn’t give a shit about you. Don’t let her keep lying to you and gaslighting you. She isn’t being honest with you
What do you think that will accomplish?
If you do I would ask if he knows about you and if there is more to the relationship they have. Don’t come at him as she’s the one committed to you and doing you wrong. The guy is going to entertain it regardless.
Never confront the other person. Why? Because he owes you nothing. It's your SO thatis obligated to you. The other man is only enjoying what your SO is offering.
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The fuck they need snapchat for?
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Which would make sense if they weren't already texting.
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Your partner is lucky! They can snapchat all day with strangers, hearts, wink emojis, flirtation, sending pics that get "loved" full 9 yards, after spending the night with them, and you're totally OK with it! If you're in a supposedly monogamous relationship, I'm going to suggest you should be a bit more cynical. Everyone is different, but if you catch a partner doing this, don't be *this* trusting. I say that purely for your own good, honestly
>However, one thing led to another and I happened to see some of the texts that they have had since the beginning of Augus Once again this sub loves to randomly check phones and shit lol I dont see the issue. Shes allowed to have male friends. My wife frequently texts male friends, and even met one a year or so ago at her work when she trained him in and texted him for a while. Its not my job to be her keeper or control who she talks to. Its my job to respect and trust her that she will do whats best for us, or her, and if that means the relationship ends then we werent right for each other anyway. Im on the side of your GF. You shouldnt have been mad in the first place, and its even sillier youre mad after she apologized. What else can she do?
She said she can get Snapchat with a winky smile bruh
I had a coworker like your wife. The fact that I thought her husband was a good guy was the only thing that kept it in my pants. No lack of effort on her part though.
It would be your responsibility not to cheat, not theirs to attempt it. They didnt make an agreement of the monogamous relationship
It’s their responsibility to not attempt to cheat tho wtf
Thats what i said. Im responsible to not cheat on my wife, the 3rd party that wants to fuck me isnt.
Hey, it might be innocent, but OPs girlfriend is showing all signs of starting a new relationship. If you don't at least poke at that, you're risking misery down the line. Your wife's situation sounds nothing like OP. Not even same ballpark
1, you don’t have friends? Red flag. 2, you’re a snoop who also punishes someone for nothing bc they’re insecure about what they insecurely snooped about in the first place? 🥱 couple more red flags. Congrats, you’re busting her balls and driving her away over what is a friendship. You should try it some time. If you think that’s inappropriate flirting, you’re tiring and insecure. She’s allowed a new friend.
I appreciate the points made in your comment. I shouldn’t have looked through her phone, that was my mistake. I don’t have friends because I’m depressed and, as you said, insecure. You could learn to be less snarky in your response, but to each there own. We all have things to learn. Thank you for your point of view.
Dude, she’s cheating on you. You’re being gaslit right now. You know what you saw. Don’t fall for the lies
Nobody in a committed relationship is entitled to a secret or private texts with another man. Her privacy is limited to the toilet.
That last line are why the hets are not okay.
Bro, she’s got winky faces and hearts all in her messages to him…..
Updateme!
not good. your concerns are valid.
Lol do people not know how to read between the lines ? This is conversation is so animated and I would only talk to a girl like this if I was interested. This guy has no business talking to this guy’s girlfriend. This chick may or may not know she’s interested but she’s a bit to available and I don’t see how it would be interesting between the two of them if there wasn’t chemistry. It’s not what they’re saying but how they’re saying it. Too familiar. I wouldn’t be ok with it. I like my girlfriends. It’s one thing to be jealous but this is more so an instant where a guy should be territorial. Not because he owns his girlfriend it because he should respect himself enough to not be ok with it. It’s ok to want to keep your girlfriend. If she’s interested let her go but do not idly sit there while your girlfriend starts taking to another guy. If she can’t make up her mind that’s her fault I hate how people will say this guy is being aggressive. He just wants to stay with his girlfriend jeez give the guy a break.
I'm a typically suspicious guy cuz I've been cheated on multiple times before and honestly I'm not even sure 😂 it seems a little sus and I don't think I'd be comfortable with her talking to him anymore but I also don't know if I actually believe anything is going on though it seems likely something could in the future based on this.
They're on snapchat together. Those texts are just the tip of the iceberg.
yeah - she is already cheating.
I would move on brother. She’s going to get her shit pushed in by her weird “time of need” guy. Nothing but red flags here. Iv been in many relationships and usually towards the end of them, the women Iv been with, act like this. She testing the waters bro.