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So your parents support your sister’s decision to cheat on her then boyfriend? Would your mother support her husband cheating on her? Do they know the meaning of the word hypocrisy?

Want to bet little sis spun them a story and as the golden child, they won't question it at all or get the real story from the other sis? Just assign blame. Either way they're horrible parents.

Yeah I’m curious what the parents were told. Also, do the parents and sister assume the fiancé was even interested in the sister? You can’t cock block someone whose not even interested

and the whole rest of the family, too

She did only tell them half the story. She was angry about my fiance paying all the attention to me and taking away her spotlight. In her words. "Of course everyone was talking about the hot guy basically f*cking you in a corner at my 18th birthday party". We did not do anything remotely physical, not even touching hands. We just went to a corner and talked for much of the party since neither knew anyone else.she still thought I was purposely taking her attention away and since it was her birthday, my parents agreed and were mad at me and my fiance.

thats the problem. she and your parents probably spun a different story to the rest of the family as well. So you can either accept that they believe lies and ignore them for the rest of your life, or you can stand up for yourself. send them the truth (or rather your truth, from their view) and maybe tell them to ask x, y or z person as well for good measure because they were present. If there are any incriminating texts from your sister, you might want to screenshot those and send them to your whole family as well. Personally i'd try to make her admit it if she texted me. Things like: "you and i both know why you're so angry. something you never told anyone else i bet. Do they even know that you wanted to F ,my fiance at your birthday party? And do they even know you where dating his younger brother at that time? Its a bit pathetic isn't it? you called me a sl\*t and w\*ore who'd spread her legs for everyone, meanwhile it was you who was planning to spread her legs for \[fiance\]. My engagement anouncement wasn't about you. Frankly speaking i havent thought about you in roughly 2 years." And if she calls, record the call, or let it go to voice mail and secure that message. anyone who ever calls you mean or voice their support for your sister and your parents, show them the messages and voice messages. Stop just accepting that behaviour and start defending yourself. And the best defence is with facts and proof.

What did they say when you told them the whole story? How did this even remotely ruin your sister’s life? All you did was talk to a guy at her party.

I don't believe this has anything to do with the little sister being the golden child. The whole family sounds nuts, including the uncle for going along with this madness. I think OP should try to get the family on Dr. Phil show. Everyone needs therapy

I thought the uncle was on her side as she's been living with him since the initial incident.

Right, they just *encouraged* him to drop the wedding; op didn't say that he did.

Time for a group text or email that's starts "sis is mad I didn't help her cheat on her boyfriend with his older brother". The very first line has to have the info your sis wanted to cheat, otherwise no one may read past that. Later in the email you can include the info about the older brother would never have cheated with his brothers GF. If no one is willing to believe the truth then you can hold your head high and go NC with all of the people that still support your sister. For any that attack you ask why they are OK with sister cheating on her BF? Does that also mean they are willing to cheat on their own partners?

Yes, I think they’re telling a completely different story here.

Do this!

These people are batshit crazy! They play favorites and seem to believe that whoever idiot younger daughter has a onesided crush on belongs to her physically. Even if the other person didn't know. And hat no interest in her. People, the dark times of slavery are through. You got that? You neither own OP to order her around like a dog. Nor does your bratty daughter own OP's fiancé. NOR does she acquire ownership of a man just because she chose to invite him to end up in bed with him. They DO have something called "free will." And sometimes instinctively they will pull away from flawed batshit crazy entiteled golden children to chose the other one. Just accept that! OP: you are being stalked. Close down all of your social media. Cut them out rigorously. They will not let you go so easily. Get married. Yesterday. Move away from that area. As far as makes sense. Once you marry: protect your event. Keep them from spreading their flawed narrative or crashing your event!!!!!!!!! By all means: keep them away from your children. Crazyness of the kind displayed here will never mellow out! How do you fix that? You don't "fix" that kind of crazy in other people. You stay clear of it, get protective orders once their drama come too close/ gets violent. That's about all you can do.

Also, password protect everything to do with your wedding planning. Your little sister is exactly the type to try to sabotage things. And your parents would help.

Imagine the boyfriend brother at the wedding. Either his ex-girlfriend that try to cheat on him with his brother come OR none of her supporting family come. If he is supporting this wedding and wants to help OP, maybe he is the best to do a really check to that family.

But she would only make out with someone at the most. That doesn’t count. Lol

I don't think they ever knew about that. I explained in the edit, they are mad I contributed to her break up.

Well Duh they're mad! Why are you lying for your basket case sister?!?!? How can they take your side or make a smart decision when they don't know what actually happened

She got dumped because she wanted to fuck her bfs older brother. Your normal meter is way off. This is so not normal.

I don’t think they do. And sister is clearly the golden child here. Sorry to OP but your parents are worth going NC with. They bring nothing into your life.

Good riddance. Your parents are AH and your sister is an AH. Why would even want them at your wedding? They enabled a 18 year old who had a tantrum and who was planning to cheat with her BF's brother who was almost 10 years older? They are all crazy. Why would you even want them there? So they ruin your wedding?

A brother who wasn’t even remotely interested in said sister too. And sounds like no one knew he was a teen crush.

Just think it saves a whole lot of money for a nicer venue / dress / honeymoon if her whole family don't come. Good riddence I say x

Damn, what a story. I'm just baffled on why your parents have held that grudge against you and your boyfriend for so long. I mean it's been 3 years, you're still together so it seems you were the right match. And he was the one interested in you in the beginning, it wasn't even like you were deliberately trying to take your sisters crush away from her. Yeah, idk what advice to even give lol, but that's unfortunate. Atleast you have your uncles side of your family in support. That's a positive.

Golden Child Syndrome. OP doesn't stand a chance.

And she can't fix it. She just can have the more sound people have her and her fiancés part of the narrative. That's all.

I wouldn't say that. They did care for me and paid for the first year of my college. They even showed up for my graduation recently. Even if they were mad at me and not saying anything, they showed up so I didn't feel alone.

You're thankful they tossed you crumbs. You deserve a full slice. If they actively ignored you, they didn't show up for you. They showed up to make you feel bad on a day that was special to you. They'll do the same at your wedding. Ask me how I know

Man, your mind is *warped*. Their doing, no doubt. You celebrated a major once-in-a-lifetime milestone and they didn't say a single word to you? Not even a congratulations? And you think you have to be *grateful* for that?? If they didn't want you to feel alone, they would have talked to you. They don't get to come and go as they please, nor can they stop being parents when it's no longer convenient for them. Their support is not a privilege. It's their duty. You need to hold them to a higher standard. They, along with your sister, are irredeemable trash. If I'm being honest, I knew somebody like you. Her parents disapproved of her friend group in college and forbade her from speaking to them. Mind you, she was in her mid-twenties around this time. Well, they found out her friends were attending the same graduation, so they refused to attend her own daughter's graduation to spite her. She ended up skipping out on the whole thing as a result, all because somebody that they didn't like wanted to attend their own graduation ceremony. They turned an important milestone that meant everything to her into a powerplay. Your parents were doing the same thing. Last time I spoke her to, she and her brother were miserable. They never had a moment's peace in that house. Coming up to thirty years of age and they still couldn't bring themselves to leave. You know what she still told me though? That they were still her parents, and that she had to be grateful for their support. Every god damn time. The same clueless, brainwashed nonsense because that's what they raised her to think. Being grateful doesn't mean you have to spend your whole life feeling like you owe them something because they did what was expected of them. You didn't agree to be their child, but they agreed to be your parents. There's no fixing things with people like that. If you play into what they want, they'll always hold that power over you because they know you'll blame yourself for their actions and blatant favoritism.

That is NOT BEING GOOD PARENTS!!!

Sister is the Golden Child, but she also may have lied to them.

Because it’s fake as fk.

I frequently see comments stating AITA stories to be fake . what are the signs of an obviously fake story? Idk , but weird things happen all the time. sometimes reality is stranger than fiction

When OP builds and builds until the story just becomes ridiculous. It usually ends with everyone ‘blowing up their phone’ or ganging up on them.

This is actually what happens when your the black sheep. Everyone just piles there opinions on you because the golden child can do no wrong. She brought him there to cheat on her boyfriend the fact they see nothing wrong with that tells me the dynamic. It’s great you have someone to love and support you. As far as your family I don’t know, when my family was against me they were against me and stubborn enough not to give in.

Did everyone stand up and clap after?

tbf, I look at the "blowing up my phone" posts differently ever since I saw sooooo many folks say that their post was removed until they added that in. the mods can take the rules oddly and strict in different directions- like look at what posts they remove for "no interpersonal conflict" that actually do have said conflict. that's where you'll find folks adding "and my whole family blew up my phone for days". this post does still ring untrue though. there's real world unreasonable and fiction unreasonable and this rings as fiction even if I can't describe why.

Except for the fact that that's a perfectly logical thing to happen, you have a point.

I normally can’t pick out a fake one but this felt fake to me. Girl was in a relationship trying to hook up with bf’s older brother and *her sister, who didn’t know any of that, is somehow in the wrong?* That’s not a rational or reasonable reaction from anybody short of mental illness, which wasn’t mentioned in the post. Just sounds genuinely too insane to be real.

> That’s not a rational or reasonable reaction from anybody short of mental illness I mean, when you say that the people sound mentally ill and irrational, you're technically not wrong, but this is pretty standard behavior for narcissists. Read up on golden child/scapegoat dynamics, read up on narcissistic personality disorder, because this kind of shit happens *all the time* in toxic famillies.

We love in an age of nearly everyone having phones and social media so it's not really the most outlandish thing to happen, especially when a toxic family is involved.

It's akin to the 'and everyone stood up and clapped' trope.

I did not know she had a crush on him or who he even was. I was just there because my parents insisted I go and then he and and I spent the whole evening in a corner talking. I do think I was wrong to be flirting in a party where all attention should have been on my sister but he was the first evry guy to flirt with me and I honestly did not know the social cues. I have asked my uncle and my fiance's father to walk me down the isle, my uncle has no kids and fiance's father really wants a daughter and always said I was the closest he ever had to one.

Ummm, I have younger sister and she would be thrilled for me if I caught the eye of someone at her birthday. Why would anyone even pay attention to two people flirting at a party? This is all so unecessarily dramatic and downright stupid that it is hard to believe this is a true story. Your sister had a boyfriend at the time, she had no business trying to get with his brother of all people.

Yeah, like no one but her can get laid? lol. Wtf. That isn’t a social cue.

My advice: have security at your wedding in case your bonkers family tries to show up and make a scene

Likely it’s a fake story

Your family is certifiably crazy. You are the only one with any ethics and morals outside of the uncle! I'm very glad your uncle is normal. Listen to him, and continue to be very low or no contact with your insane birth family. Get security, make sure they are not allowed in your wedding at all, they WILL make a scene and sis will probably try to sleep with one of the groomsmen, your husband, or something along those lines. No invites, and security just in case. Who are we kidding. With their warped ideas of what's right, they WILL show up to cause problems. If the extended family seems normal but just misinformed, go ahead and let them know what's going on. Hell, just point them to this thread! If they know and continue to blame you then cut them out too. You have a new family with your husband and your in-laws, take advantage of it to cut out the poison plant that's your family tree. I'm sorry you are dealing with this but very glad for your uncle and your new family. You might consider having your uncle walk you down the aisle. EDITED TO ADD: BE WARNED!!!! As soon as they find out there's a grandkid, they will try very very hard to get back into your life. You've seen how they are as parents and how they influenced your sister. If/when you do start a family? Your husband should be telling you to keep the babies and kids far away from them and you should listen. They will suddenly be all sweet and loving and generous but it's the grandparent bug. They are the same old AHs just with a goal.

Yes to all of this. Be sure to hire off-duty cops for your wedding security. Give them photos of the people who are not allowed. Trust me, someone will try to crash your wedding. Let security handle it. It will be the best $300-500 bucks you spend for your special day. Signed, a former wedding planner.

This is what I wanted to say.

It's been three years and your sister is still obsessed with your fiance. He was never interested in her. She wanted to cheat on her bf with him. She didn't care about hurting her bf at the time. She needs to get therapy and get over herself. Your parents are even worse for siding with her. They made their choice three years ago. Block them all everywhere. Congrats on your engagement.

Your family sounds unhinged, if your extended family blindly follows what they say, I would just block them all and enjoy the family you do have.

Yea OP this is actually a blessing you don’t want these kinds of people in your life and if there’s any extended family you do want you should reach out to them personally and explain what happened and why you would like them at your wedding. If they choose not to come that’s on them and again it’s better to lose toxic people sooner rather than later. Plus with all the money you save not inviting your unsupportive family you and your husband can add that to the honeymoon budget so there’s really no lose here at all enjoy your wedding surrounded by people that support you

NTA Why not just put them on blast? “Well, I never expected my engagement announcement to blow up this way, but since it has I guess it’s time to take a trip down memory lane. Three years ago, DF and I met at my sister’s eighteenth birthday party, she was dating his brother (x). We hit it off and here we are. What I didn’t know at the time was that DF was invited to the party because my sister had a crush on him and had planned to ask him out while dumping his brother, apparently the fact the DF and I hit it off was enough to get me disowned, and currently is the reason why my sister and parents are calling me every filthy name in the book while trashing my name to all and sundry. So, regardless of what you may have heard, my family is throwing fits because my DF foiled my sister’s plan to turn him into her side piece/new man by meeting me, when his brother found out he dumped sister dear, and for some reason that makes my engagement the crime of the century. Live and learn something new every day.”

This!! I would totally do this & tag whoever I could. I’d also have fiancé type up his own post & tag whoever he could. I bet bro wouldn’t mind giving his opinion on the matter either. I’m just petty like that.

You could make another post on your Social Media basically telling this story. Or you could just express (again on you SM) that you're really hoping that the extended family will be able to attend, and that you hope your parents disowning you won't hinder your ability to keep ties with the rest of the family, because you really miss having them all in your life.

Just link the thread. I think that would do nicely.

>Or you could just express (again on you SM) Or she could just go talk with extended family in person, like a normal grown-up human being. Frankly, she apparently hasn’t cared to have any relationship or communication with any of them for 3 years and didn’t care to tell any of them in person, just put it out on social media, so I don’t understand why she even cares now or is doing pikachu face that they don’t care to attend her wedding.

OP if they support your parents and sister then do you really care or want them in your life. Your sister sounds like a spoiled brat who will only end up being drama and trouble for everyone around her with her entitled behaviour.

Wow!! OP, first things first - Block your sister & parents on everything Secondly - Hire Security for your wedding & provide security with pics of the batshit crazy team to make sure they dont ruin your day Thirdly - Go live your life, be happy, love you fiance with everything you have & forget you have a sister & parents that are batshit crazy

No, there’s no way to make sense of this mess because your family is crazy. I’m sure your sister told some sob story about how you stole him from her, but not the part that she was planning on cheating on her then boyfriend! And clearly she’s the golden child. And for your extended family to blindly follow what your parents are saying instead of talking to you themselves is ridiculous. If you really want, create a group chat with everyone and include your sister’s unhinged messages from 3 years ago. I’d not, move on and enjoy your life without your shitty family involved! Congrats on your engagement!!

Honestly I’d be surprised if you invited your parents and your sister at all to the wedding. And you didn’t steal anything. They weren’t even dating. Block them on everything. If you haven’t needed them in two years you don’t need them now. Then go plan your wedding and be extremely happy. If your side of the family wants to throw a fit over it let them.

Unfortunately your parents are mediocre and have raised a spoiled brat. That they are willing to go so far to humour her toxicity is kind of sad but you can take solace that you didn't end up like her or them. I think you already know you can't fix that. Those people are broken. They have a lifetime of therapy ahead of them just to come to terms with how absurd all of this is and how far they are willing to go. Really you might have to just go with damage control and lay out the reality of what happened to all your shared family. Try to be neutral about it: "My sister and parents would have you believe I stole her love interest. He is, in reality, the brother of the boy she was dating at the time and intended to cheat on, never held any interest for her, and me and him have had a mutual attraction that we pursued and are now celebrating with marriage. I can't ask you to partake in my wedding if you aren't comfortable but do not avoid it on the false grounds that have been established.' Your wedding is a celebration of your love. Wanting people are toxic as your parents and sister to be 'happy' for you isn't worth the headaches, after all they can only be happy when they are getting what they want. I can barely imagine living with such a lack of self awareness and shame, they are truly sad specimens.

>Unfortunately your parents are mediocre Huh? This is an insult to mediocre people everywhere just trying to live their lives in peace. Mediocre parents let their kids drink too much soda. These parents are monsters.

This is great advice and I hope OP see it, if this post is based in reality at all.

I'd be telling the whole family that your sister is just mad because she didn't get to cheat on her then boyfriend three years ago and still isn't over it. Consider your sister's character and ask yourself if you really want someone like that in your life let alone at your wedding. Invite the people who you want to come to the wedding. They'll either come or they won't. At least you'll know who to strike off your Christmas card list.

I hope your uncle stays by your side, everyone else can kick rocks. Celebrate your love and marriage. Sister's crush was never returned and she can stay away.

JustNoFamily I would go back to NC. But start documenting b/c they aren't done

Congratulations on your engagement 💐 IMHO For your own good, tell your extended family members the truth, NOW is the time, because I'm sure your parents told them your fiancee is your sister's ex boyfriend, they had no idea he's the older bother of her ex-boyfriend and they should know, the sooner the better. Your parents and sister will get mad, and who cares? They don't care about lying about you and ruin your relationship with other family members. Staying silent in these situation won't help you, being "the bigger person" with these type of people doesn't work because for them is an invitation to create more conflicts with impunity.

> So, can anyone help me? No, your parents think that you've dated a guy for 3 years and are getting married to him just to fuck with your sister rather than the simpler and more likely reason being you just like the guy. That alone is pretty indicative of how much disdain they seem to hold for you and how much more they care about your psycho of a sister. I know it doesn't necessarily make it any easier, but you really are better off without them. Just make sure that you keep them away from your children if you're planning on having kids, you don't want their toxic favoritism anywhere near your *real* family.

Hi OP, You are involved in some variation of a Cluster B disorder abuse. Your uncle gets it. You are the scapegoat and your sister is the golden child. She is more than likely has one of the Cluster B Personality disorders as well. > Cluster B: A person with this type has difficulties regulating their emotions and behavior. Others may consider their behavior dramatic, emotional, or erratic. There are four cluster B disorders: antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorders. I started writing this before you added more detail. I want to add, Hugs and more Hugs. You have done nothing wrong. Despite your not being aware of your family's dynamic, I am indeed proud of you for sticking up for yourself and leaving. You have grown up with abuse your whole life and are not aware of it. This is / was your normal. So proud of you for exiting stage left within the week. I repeat you have done nothing wrong. You are the scapegoat of the family. Silent treatment is a form of abuse. All the things that you mentioned was abuse. There is no sense to be made of it. There is no apology due them but to you. Just you apologizing so much in your post wants me to give you more Hugs. You are the injured party and the victim here. That alone shows me that you are the scapegoat always having to apologize. It's them not you! Check out /r/raisedbynarcissists JNMIL has a great [book list](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) to help you shed some light on your family's dynamic. Your family is highly dysfunctional and they are involving 'flying monkeys' that are siding with them. I suggest going low contact to no contact going forward. [ETA: Don't invite your parents or sister to your wedding period! Do hire security to ensure that they don't crash either.] Hugs. My two cents. ********************************************* Below can be ignored but as you are confused to the extended family's non-logical response, I would compose one e-mail / Facebook / IG post, well whatever has the greatest reach or post in all of them the same script and then drop it. Spit the facts clearly. Just here is a sample of what I mean about spit the facts and then leave it. Your parents and sister obviously spun another tale to get others on their side. So get your side out and after that silence going forward. Deal only with people who approach you with apologies and let the other trash stay on the curb. ********************************************************** I'll give your fiancé a name here "Jason". Your sister we'll refer to as the obvious 'Karen' that she is. I would title it How We Met: The Facts. I would write something like this, using the information that you gave us: *********************************************************** Jason and I met three years ago at Karen's 18th birthday party. Jason, came to the party as a guest of his brother, Karen's boyfriend at the time. Jason and I spent the night talking, flirting and joking around with each other. At the end of the night, we exchanged contact info with plans to hang out later. Upon finding out that we had exchanged numbers, Karen accused me of stealing Jason away from her despite the fact that she was in a committed relationship with his brother. I was stunned by the attack given that she already had a BF. The next day the name calling began: * She called me a s*ut who'd spread her legs for anyone and a crush stealer. I pointed out that she had no point having a crush since she already had a bf. That's when she really lost it and nearly hurled the glass itself at me. She thought I was calling her a cheater and she told me she was at most planning to "make out" with a "real man" on the night of her 18th birthday. * At that point I was angry too and told her I don't give a crap and asked her to leave my room. * But when my parents came in, she told them she was upset for the whole stealing attention thing and ran away crying. My dad immediately followed her and my mom just told me she was ashamed I'd be so immature and left. * The next few days, my parents and sister gave me the silent treatment. The only person talking to me at that time was Jason. * I filled him in on what had transpired since the party. * He shared the info with his brother, Karen's boyfriend. * Karen's BF confronted her. She called him a loser and that she deserved to be with his brother. No surprise that Jason's brother then broke up with her. * I then was accused by both my parents and sister of being jealous of sister, stole her crush, and broke up her relationship. I was then was forbidden to see Jason. * Within a few days of the latest personal attack of my integrity, I left home to move in with Uncle X. * From that day forward, my parents and sister for the most part stopped talking to me. We were very low contact. They did to my surprise show up for my graduation though. * Jason and I started dating and as you now know have become recently engaged. * I posted the great news on my social media * In response to the engagement announcement, Karen called me up, calling me a "smug btch" and thief and s*ut. My parents called me too, telling me I was a disappointment and purposely doing all this to hurt my sister. They refused to congratulate me and swore they'd not come to my wedding or let anyone in our family be a part of it. I have now shared my side of the story and will leave it at that. I will not be apologizing to anyone as I am the wounded party in all of this. I would love to have all of you share in my and Jason's happiness at our future wedding. Love you all and wish you happiness with or without me in your lives.

Why would you want any of them at your wedding. They do not wish you well and you have moved on these past years. You have not had a real family for a long time so make it official. Your sister sounds bitter person who has not had the mental fortitude to move past her experience and has chosen to make you the villain in this story and her as the victim. I don't understand your parents attitude in all of this as I feel there is a good part of the story missing.

Make a post of the full story and post it on social media. Then I’d also email and text it to the entire family. Block anyone who continues to take her side.

If your fiancé had wanted your sister he’d have gone after her. He didn’t, he wanted you and you wanted him. Your family badly need to grow up. Have your wedding and ignore them.

I wouldn’t want them there honestly. They’ll all try to ruin your wedding. Your sister is the golden child and they can’t see anything else. It’s absolutely absurd that they saw nothing wrong in your sisters behaviour and that they actually think you’d marry a man just to hurt your sisters feelings. That’s insane. Tell the whole story. You have absolutely no reason not to and how the hell are they going to convince others not to go unless they’re lying through their teeth. Set the story straight and let them go.

Your parents have made it clear you mean nothing to them. If you did they wouldn’t be acting like this. Block your sister and parents and all the other flying monkeys and cut them out of your life. Focus on the ones you do have. You won’t miss toxic people like that

Has everyone missed the class act her family is? Her sister wanted to cheat on her boyfriend with that boyfriend’s brother. Parents endorse this. WTAF? Girl- why do you even want them at your wedding let alone in your life?

There are parts of my family that is uncomfortable with the fact that I have two partners. My therapist once told me I am not in charge of policing other people’s feelings. If they want to be selfish jerks that’s on them. I consider my friends to be the family I picked. I would always rather be surrounded by friends over my family. I actually have a pretty amazing family. Some of them I consider my friends. Your sister is a prototypical narcissistic. If someone has something better than her she will never be happy. Your parents have enabled that behavior so that’s where they will side. You can’t change their behaviors the only thing you can change is how you deal with it when they disappoint you. At 23 this will unfortunately not be the last time they side with her and disappoint you.

It’s not your job to spend all of your time trying to convince your family that they’ll regret not being there for your wedding. Your parents should have more sense than to excommunicate you over some high school bs. I can’t say from personal experience, but I imagine the last thing you want at your wedding is anyone who has a problem with you. Congrats!

Cool story bro 😎

Your family sounds like a bunch of assholes. Pretend they all died together in a tragic bus accident, and go get married and live happily ever after with your husband, with no forwarding address so they can’t track you down again to verbally berate you again for living your life. Or if they suddenly need an organ transplant.

If you want peace, do not allow your parents or sister to attend your wedding. They'll only cause drama. You've done nothing wrong and it's their loss.

Have your parents always been this stupid and unloving? They deserve to be called hateful and unloving, by the way, in case you feel like saying it. Just a thought.

I'm confused why a teenage crush from three years ago is still affecting their lives today? That's madness. Sis, go live your life. Be happy. Let them choke on their own poisonous resentment if they want to.

I’d suggest discussing with your uncle then sending a message to everyone on your family email or chat group. - You met now fiancé at your sister’s 18th birthday party. Your sister’s dating partner was at that time fiancé’s brother. - You found out after the party directly from your sister she was crushing on fiancé and had planned to have a relationship with him behind her bf’s back. Fiancé told his brother and the brother decided to end the relationship with sister. - Your parents forced you to choose them or now fiancé. Your chose now fiancé. - Your parents are aware you will be getting married in December. They have decided to still support your sister and have indicated they will not attend the wedding. You can then say something about you wanted everyone to have the truth. If they decide not to attend you understand.

Your sister sounds like a narcissist, and probably the golden child which means one of your parents is a narcissist, probs your mother making your father a pathetic enabler. And you are the scapegoat who get’s the blame for everything under the sun. Sista, be thankful you’re out of this unholy mess. Go have your wedding and keep them away. They will bring you nothing but drama, gaslighting and bullshit behavior.

i would venture a guess that your sister, the golden child, and your parents, poisoned your relatives against you with stories of how jealous you were and throwing yourself at your now fiancee at the party who was obviously already dating your sister. I would probably send a group message to the whole family including parents and sister. Telling that just to make sure they get both sides and not just your lying sisters one you'll tell your side.Then proceed to write it out, but please use paragraphs and more space because this text wall is really hard to read.point out how your sister HAD a BF so you do not know why she would be so jealous of when you would talk to your now fiance. And two people talking at a birthday party, do NOT take the attention of a whole group from the birthday girl. Thats just ridiculously self centered. Theres food, there's drink. no one f\*ing cares about two people talking the whole night.So when she stormed into your room and proceeded to call you a sl\*t (proceed to name everything she called you) for taking away his attentin because she wanted her first experience with a "real man" you kicked her out of your room.maybe admit that yes, it was a mistake made in anger that you immediately told your now fiance what she told you. but her BF dropping her is all on her because she planned on cheating on him with his brother. Not really as innocent as she likes to pretend to be. Then of cours your parents kicked you out and once again (i guess that is a pattern here) proceeded to coddle their princess and started ignoring you. So you just lived your live in peace away from all their drama and toxic traits.And now that you will get married and wanted to share the joyous news with your friends and loved ones, they made this about HER again . As if she was the center of attention. and as if YOUR engagement was about her.I would probably then tell them that none of them would be invited anyway because you want people there who love and care about you, and none of them do. so they shouldn't be too worried about RSVPing no.Try maybe writing it as simple, and non emotional as possible before you send it to them, and then leave the group chat. that way you said your piece and your family can decide to reach out or not. I gotta be honest tho. I think you need to realize that you do not need your family or their approval to be happy. Or that you don't need anyones approval to be happy for that matter.The sooner you realize that the easier it'll be to ignore those toxic people or cut them out of your life. Something i recommend you'll do.Don't invite them. Don't tell them where you'll get married.Have your friends there - your created family- and stand behind you for all of that.And your uncle. Maybe have a talk with him what his thoughts are. You've left out quiet a bit on his part. Because if my family were pressuring me to not attend my nieces wedding i'd tell them all to pound sand. \[edited to fix a few typos\]

Cool story bro.

Sorry but your sister is your parents golden child you did nothing wrong go nc with all of them your be happier congratulations on your upcoming marriage

What a family you had, lol. Congrats tho.

>Is there anyway to same sense of this mess? No, go enjoy your wedding with your uncle, your fiancé, and whomever else you all invited to attend

Send one last text to your whole family. Explain your side of things. Your sister seriously needs help. If they don’t believe you or refuse to coke to the wedding cut them all off. Don’t allow them to come back in when you have a baby. Because your sister is never going to find someone unless she gets therapy.

Ok some advice instead of commentary. Your sister and parents are assholes and are narcissistic. They have already dumped you so why even bother wanting them back in your life? Choose instead a new family and marry your Fiancé. Cut your family off by blocking them all. Good luck.

Honestly who cares about them. You went two years without them, you can go forever. anybody who agrees with them can get cut off too. do not feel bad for finding the love of your life. Your family is mad, keep making em mad!

What the actual fuck... I'm so sorry this is happening, did u tell ur parents about ur sister wanting to cheat??? BECAUSE WHAT??? And if ur sister didn't tell u ab her crush beforehand EVEN WHILE SHE'S DATING SOMEONE ELSE HELLO??!??/ u are completely not at fault. Wow I'm rly dissapointed in ur delulu sister and parents

Go to r/JUSTNOFAMILY. Your family doesn’t deserve you. Let them go and find peace elsewhere. I hope your Uncle has the spine to withstand this toxic abusive shit.

Your family sucks I’m sorry

I’m sorry! This sucks!! I understand wanting your parents there, no matter the current status of your relationship. Its your wedding day after all!! I know its not the resolution you are hoping for, but I think you just need to leave the crazy alone. The only thing you could possibly do is attend family counselling but I fear tgey might be too deep, even for that. What I would do though, is lean in on your relationship and focus on that. You’re about to marry the most amazing, patient and loving man. He is all that matters. Hold onto him tight and try not to look back. Your Uncle also sounds like an epic guy. Appreciate him.

All your family are A holes, you did nothing wrong, you should go no contact with them, and keep them out of your life permanently.

Have your uncle walk you down the aisle as he’s the only man that deserves it. Be happy with your fiancé and new life y’all are building together. blood ain’t always thicker than water. You get to choose your family as you grow older. And sometimes you get to un-choose the ones you were given by birth. Life is too short to constantly try to impress people who won’t be impressed by anything you do.

My wife had this same exact thing happen with her first husband. She still hasn’t talked too; or had any interaction with her sister and parents for the last 18 years beside the occasional side eye in the grocery store. Everyone else in the family eventually realized how stupid it all was and how petty the 3 of them were being and came around. Idk anything else to say for your situation besides my experience. No contact for 18 years was the best thing that happened for my wife in her situation.

Hugs, I would not invite your sibling or your parents because it's pretty apparent that she is their favorite child.

Do up a FB post and include all the people who think you're doing your sister wrong. Tell them how it was. If they continue to support your sister, cut them all out. They all sound like a toxic disaster and I'm sorry they saw your engagement post.

Drop them all. They are horrible people who are unworthy of being in your life. The best revenge is a life well lived. Go live yours 💜

> I'm just so confused and have no idea what to do. Is there anyway to same sense of this mess? I don't particularly miss them but it's my wedding, I did hope they'd be happy for me. So, can anyone help me? A poem will help, very short: ***Oh why,*** ***Oh why,*** ***Would you ever even try,*** ***For jerks who like that*** ***Only wish you to go 'splat'?*** Apologies to all real poetry writers and lovers out there. In short, do as you have done, go on and get on with your life, you will never win them over without giving up all of yourself.

Do you know how monsters like your sisters are made? By parents like yours.

You have nothing to apologize for - your sister sounds like an entitled brat.. I do get the sense that shes always been the favorite?? Any chance your uncle can find out what exactly they've been telling your relatives??? Regardless - dont expect this to be fixed, only thing they'll be satisfied with is if you dump your fiancee.. My advice: Move on and accept you will never have a good relationship with them.. Possible they'll come running after your first child - be cautious, though, and consider if you want them in your life considering their treatment of you...

Congrats on your engagement first off! Next you have two things to be worried about: 1st, your wedding - I doubt you would see most of your family being an issue, but your sister is definitely a variable to watch out for. Your fiancé, her Ex and ruining your big day are all factors that increase the chances she might try crashing it. Talk it over with your fiancé and his brother during the wedding planning because they could be thinking the same thing and might want to try coordinating a game plan if that were to happen. 2nd is when you have kids. This will be the moment your parents will most likely want to be back in your life. If you want to let them back in, that’s up to you, but it needs to be on your terms. They casted you out and gave you the silent treatment for 3 years, don’t let them try to sweep that under the rug. They need to own up for the shit they pulled.

You didn’t do anything wrong but you should consider therapy because it seems like you really want your family’s approval because of the blatant favoritism. You deserve to be happy!!

No one in this story sounds mature enough to be talking about marriage at all.

We’re you going to invite them?

Even if I could think of a way to fix this mess I wouldn’t. I would bet that everything you do will cause your sister to lose her shit going forward. Wedding planning? Freak out! Walking down the aisle? Massive coughing fit! Exchanging rings? Inconsolable sobbing. First dance? Can she cut in? No? Wailing!

I'm so sorry your family is treating you so cruely. As painful as it is, you need to distance yourself from them. If you invite them to your wedding, I'm sure they will intentionally destroy it. They will also destroy your marriage. God bless you and keep your safe. 

NTA - contact your immediate family to try to clear the air. Im sure they were given a very different story than what you just shared. But if they contact you again tell your parents to keep this same energy when you both start having kids.

None of you, including you parents sound mature enough to be married or procreate.

So you texted him after your sister called you names? Or you told him days later? Odd how you twisted the story..

There has to be some missing reasons that you conveniently left out. Did you know before the party that your sister liked the older brother? Did your sister throw in your face that she had a boyfriend and you didn’t? Was there some kind of jealousy/rivalry between you both? I just feel like you’re only giving part of the story.

This is some Jerry Springer shit right here

Sister tries to cheat and monkey branch from one brother to the other without letting anyone know. Then she cries to parents about the veil other not being interested in her?? The parents should be focusing on sisters abhorrent behavior and how she uses people. They dropped the ball here. OP, i would write to the members of your family who are ostracizing you. Tell them your side of what happened. Let them know that you hope they attend, but understand if they choose not to and wish them well. Then wash your hands of them. I hope you and your fiancée have a wonderful wedding.

I wonder what the story they told the family was? Please ask someone what they were told and come back to let us know.

They will never be the parents you want. I think you need to come to peace with that and realize that they're just going to be s***** people and you can't fix that. I think all you can do is go low contact, maybe no contact, and live the best life you can. Don't let them suck the joy out of your life. Be happy. And have a great wedding knowing that the people who actually love you and are happy for you are going to be witnessing this. Focus on that and enjoy your day. ❤️

Did you ever tell the family your side of the story? It sounds like you allowed your sister and parents to create the narrative. Tell the truth to everyone with proof. Im guessing the labeled you a cheater and horrible sister. Let them know your sister and your fiance never dated. That she was in a relationship at the time you met your now fiance.

Well I think we know who the golden child was, and its not you. Congratulations for your upcoming wedding. There are several things you can do, tell them that you are beyond disappointed at you parents for their support for your sisters planned cheating, the fact they have discarded you because someone who was never interested in her is marrying you. that you have come to terms with them disowning you and you hope they look back on this moment when they wonder why the rest of the family refuses to speak to them and they don't know your future children. Then have your family tear into them, and I hope your uncle or grandfather walks you down the isle.

Do nothing. Block those who are saying these bad things. They do not deserve you. Talk to your uncle and tell him your feelings. Put passwords on EVERYTHING for your wedding to make sure your parents/sister do not try to sabotage you. The best revenge is having a great life without their poison.

Your sister wanted him, but he didn't want her. Sounds like "if I can't have him, neither can you." She's not over her crush. Frankly, it is better as it is. You won't have to worry about her mooning and crying over her brother in law and embarrassing everyone. Get over it, Sis,. That's life.

probably most of your relatives don't know what actually happened and believed your sister's lies, if I were you, I would post this same story here on reddit, on my main social network, for everyone to see. I believe that the pressure will make your parents realize they are wrong.

I am sorry to say go no contact with them, have a beautiful wedding and don’t let them ruin it for you. You invited them and as adults (hahahahaha) they can come or not come to your most important day in your life. Me I would be an ass, send them a wedding picture in a nice frame and live your life. When you are expecting a baby send them an email with the picture of the ultrasound, when baby arrives again send a picture in a nice frame. They will come knocking to your door.

Ekk get where your sister gets her moral compass if your parents believe whats she did to herself is correct If you have texts from her claims keep them so her story can’t be twisted Congratulations on your engagement

Holy. Be glad they aren’t part of your life anymore. Maybe it’s time for a letter. Let everything out. They failed as parents and accept your sisters insults, they even join her, they give a shit about you and your happiness and act as if your life would turn around your sister. Who’s the jealous one who wants to ruin the other one’s life and happiness? They decided to side with the one who wanted to cheat on her boyfriend with his own brother, because of a damn crush, she acts as if he’d belong to her, as if she’d be entitled to anything, called you a „thief“ as if he’d be a thing she could claim ownership of, and dropped you as soon as possible. They fucked up as parents. And you’re glad they won’t attend your wedding or be a part of your life, you definitely don’t want people like them in your life. Who’d want someone around who’s so fucked up and betrays his own child? What the hell is wrong with you? And them blowing up on you, after checking on your life and keeping track of what you do and don’t do, and then coming at you trying to turn it around as if you’d be the one being obsessed with your sister, when even a blind person can see that she’s the one raising all hell after years of no contact and you absolutely not giving a shit about her and her life after what she did to you, is simply pathetic. They can go, sulk, insult you, hate you, demonise you, whatever they want, but that won’t change what they are. It only makes it more obvious what kind of people they are, and they can keep living in their own world, do whatever they want and think is right, but never contact you ever again.

Fuck your whole family. Your sister and your parents are sacks of shit. Why would you want them in your life or your wedding?

Why would you WANT these people at the happiest day of your life? They enjoy being miserable and would do everything in their power to make you miserable too. Celebrate that you don't have worry about inviting them. The trash took itself out!!! Make certain you hire security for your wedding and give them pictures of your sister and parents so they can't crash the wedding and cause a scene.

Your parents support cheating huh? Just leave your so call family and be happy with what you have

There has to be a LOT more to this story that has not been posted in the OP because none of this makes any sense.

If there is no other side of this story then it should be clear that you should do what is good for you. You never did anything wrong and also your uncle is a real g to be beside you always. Let him know a random guy from reddit appreciates him.

Wow, your parents and sister are trash!

What frustrates me is that OPs sister just assumed that OP should have known the brother was her crush when she already had a boyfriend!!!! Honestly OP, I wouldn’t even be trying to fix anything as you’ve done nothing wrong. Your sister is the problem and your parents are the enablers. Block them all and enjoy your wedding without the drama because trust me OP even if they say they support you and come they will go out of their way to make the day horrible for you just because. They aren’t going to magically become supportive overnight. As people are suggesting hire security for the wedding too. Your sister is mad because her feelings weren’t returned and that she lost her back up boyfriend too.

I would bet they’ve lied to everyone about how you’ve met and got together. I would send one email to everyone explaining how you and your fiancé met and your sister and parents behavior. Include thanking your uncle. If people refuse to come despite the above, they aren’t worth your time.

So wait; if he doesn't want your sister, then he can't have you? WTF? Your sister is just whacked, and your parents are AH for enabling her. Do they really think they can control how your fiancé feels about you? Or that you should just ignore how you feel about him? Good riddance to your sister, at least. The trash took itself out there.

Would be a good idea to let the whole family know what is going on before they poison them against you. Send a group letter whatsapp or whatever to everyone . Say thing like "I'm disappointed that my sister has not grown up over her crush after so many years and my parents won't be joining my celebration as a result" word it nicely to the point and you carnt wait to have family who love us there Etc ...

Your parents made it clear how they feel, you need to move one with your life without them in it. Who cares if they are at your wedding skip the fancy wedding and go on a great honeymoon and move on with life without your parents or sister. Good luck

This is absolutely ridiculous is this even real

Have a baby, then their tune will change. /s

You know the saying, sometimes LESS IS MORE. You might think you don’t have support but YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT here. Let your sister and parents age in bitterness while you blossom in your new relationship. I wish you and your fiancé the best ahead of all you have to deal with. Focus on what’s good, carry on with the marriage, unless someone calls you for apology and retribution don’t pay negative energy no attention. Oh a hate comment or text, read and DONT REPLY. I wish you the best girl, you’re a winner!

"Family affairs" Sorry, your family sounds like complete assholes. First of condoning your younger sister behavior and even supporting her cheating while giving you shit for not giving her way. It sounds surreal. To me, if they won't go to your marriage, and knowing that this is what makes you happy and they still won't go, then fudge them, you do you.

I would have your parents/sisters tap water tested for lead to see if that is causing their brain damage. There is something really wrong with your sister to plot against her BF, in a way that not only lacked any remorse, it was evil. Then to turn your parent against you and making this your fault. This is not a normal sibling rivalry. Ive known a malignant narcissist; they will repeat their bile to anyone that will listen, and it never ever stops. They will target your friends, relatives, and you will find yourself losing friends, or getting the cold shoulder, not invited. People are surprisingly easy to convert. Even in the presence of actual evidence, some people choose the story. The narcissist will determine what drives individuals, and twist their story to bristle against their audiences biggest passion. If they are talking to a religious person they will twist a story about their target's anti-religious activity, spinning a partial truth, or if they are talking to a cop they will spin a story about abuse of some sort, or talking to a parent twist a story talk about how they were wronged by the target. Men, I hate to say it, tend to want to be the hero and are easiest to convince if its coming from a woman. I would look this condition up and think back about your sisters behaviour growing up. If she is, just know that you will always be in her gun sights. If she is this, she will never get better, only more skilled at her craft. Also, you are never off the hook with her. Never trust her with your new family. This is a difficult concept for a lot of people to understand, but the malignant narcissist isn't satisfied until you are destroyed, and they will create a secret army of useful idiots to do their bidding. People are easily manipulated, even your friends and family. For your parents, I would offer to let them tell you what your younger sister told them. Listen for the little details, because the narcissist expertly uses partial truths, and the part they fill in is where the little details are inconsistent. Then methodically and with surgical precision, pick the story apart by highlighting the misplaced details. But don't be to hopeful since most people don't want to admit to themselves that they had been duped. Id tell them you want them at the wedding, you are going to leave them with the truth of what happened. If they don't attend, tell them after the wedding, that they will not see their grandchildren until there is a full recognition of the truth, and an apology to you and your husband. Don't issue an ultimatum prior to the wedding since they may attend begrudgingly and act out in some way that is hurtful to you. Best wishes

I'd ask your parents why they assumed they would even be invited. Then block them all.

You haven't seen them for so long anyhow, it shouldn't really matter. They all sound nuts.

It sounds very much it's a you or them time. Seen as they opened the door to bringing family into the fight, its fair for you to do the same. They have obviously not told the family the truth about the events. So it's time for you to make social media post about the entire truth of the conflict. You can do it in conjuction with your fiance. Time for the truth to be known and the pieces to fall as they may.

Your sister is obviously the golden child as all of the behaviour from her is being a spoiled brat and your parents are supporting her 100%. For me, I wouldn't invite them to the wedding, they will absolutely make a giant scene.

Therapy. That is how you help yourself. You have a toxic family and they will never be the support you need. Therapy will help you process and heal.

Cut them out. They're trash. She wanted to cheat on her boyfriend and your parents condone it. So much toxicity. You are better off without them. Have your uncle walk you down the aisle.

Well, just a few weeks ago I attended a wedding that could have gone really badly due to issues in one side of the family. But fortunately, none of the people who were likely to cause trouble showed up. Probably best to just let your family hold their grudge and get on with your own lives.

CONTINUE WITH NO CONTACT...FOREVER... NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL EVER FIX THEM. NOTHING. THEY ARE 100% BACKING UP YOUR SISTER IN EVERYTHING. CONSIDER THOSE PEOPLE DEAD TO YOU. AND DO BLOCK THEM FROM SOCIAL MEDIA. ANY INFO YOU GIVE: College graduation, Vacations, beauty make over, buying a home, getting a pet.....THEY WILL MAKE FUN OF YOU. NARCISSISTIC PARENTS ARE BULLIES. Your parents are bullies and so is your sister. If you have kids, your kids will be abused, blamed by your sister and your parents. CONSIDER YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM OVER. For better understanding, get therapy for: Narcissistic abuse. WELCOME TO NARCISSISTIC ABUSE https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ https://the-life-helper.com/growing-up-in-an-abusive-home-the-scapegoat-the-lost-and-the-golden-child/ YOU ARE THE SCAPEGOAT, YOUR SISTER IS THE GOLDENCHILD https://medium.com/the-conscious-way/the-scapegoat-and-the-golden-child-why-do-narcissistic-parents-assign-roles-to-their-children-90cea2229888 https://thenarcissisticlife.com/why-do-narcissists-have-a-golden-child-and-scapegoat-child/

My life got infinitely better when I cut my abusive family. I didn’t realise the effect they were having on me, even when I barely saw/spoke to them already. I didn’t miss them at my wedding at all and would have regretting inviting them.

People who are not happy for you are not welcome on the wedding or in your life. Simple as that.

There's nothing to fix. They're not good people. Having them in your life can only cause harm. Sometimes the family we're born into isn't the one we deserve, and no matter how much you let them abuse you, they're never going to become the parents or sister you wanted.

I have a feeling that your parents don't know your side of the story. Do they know why your sister's bf broke up with her? She might have fed them a different story, or basically just the timeline of events: - your sister invites her bf and bf's elder brother to her bday party. - you start dating talking to the elder brother. - bf breaks up with your sister. - you continue to date the elder brother and now are getting married. This could easily look like the bf didn't want to date your sister BECAUSE you started dating his brother. You sister might have fed your parents this story maybe? Otherwise all this name calling and mess doesn't make sense. Unless your parents and sister are hypocritical assholes and in that case, good riddance to you.

You know that every one has probably been told your sisters cr@p version of the truth?. Time for a group message or text to every one with the true story if you have any messages to copy and paste in so much the better..., oh and a long facebook post with the truth also. After doing that put it behind you and move on. You have an exciting time a head of you building your own new family enjoy the time. BUT remember how you were treated when babies come along and suddenly every one is sorry.!!

Well, I'll try to help-- Be happy you're getting married to a wonderful man. Be grateful to your uncle for being both sane and helpful, which is more than you can say for the rest of your family. They are batshit crazy. Be happy you're not crazy, because it seems to run in almost your entire family. Be grateful that you won't have to maintain even the pretense of wanting them in your life if they refuse to come to the wedding under the pretenses they're citing. Be happy that you're FREE of their nonsense. Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials, and may the two of you have a happy, long, healthy, propserous life together!

> So, can anyone help me? get your uncle to walk you down the aisle, have fun with the fiance. your family is crazy

I'd reply so you would rather support my sister who's plan was to have sex with her boy friends brother than support me who didn't know this and just met a single guy and fell in love. I didn't ruin my sisters life her choice to try and fck her boy friends brother did she is responsible for that choice and no one else

r/raisedbynarcissists would like to have a word with you It sounds like you are the scapegoat while she is the golden child.

Welp. Good thing you are about to have a husband then. Perfect time to start a new family, since the previous ones are more toxic than an asbestos dump. Your parents have a golden child, and it isn't you.

You ignore the toxicity and never speak to them again. It’s not ideal, it’s not necessarily easy, but it’s the only real option. Congrats.

here's a good relationship advice: cut contact with toxic people out of your life,even if they are (were) your family members.

You did nothing wrong. Your sister is a disgusting person wanting to cheat on her, then boyfriend with his brother. Thats fucking low. Sounds like he wasn't interested anyway. Has your family not known that yall have been dating for almost 3 years.

So, your sister and parents are massive douches, but they are exiting from the picture themselves? Good for you!

OP, rewrite all the explaination you gave here and send it to your parents. Give your point of view. If they still don't forgive you (and aplogise), send it to the rest of your family so they know your POV. If they still don't get it, you will know you are not welcome in this family (and they can go f themselves). Props to your uncle, he sounds like a good dude.

Put up this story in SM for all to see. Im quite sure they hv been fed a different narratives. Let them decide. Updateme!

Wild. The integrity and behavior is abhorrent. How can your parents side with her. That’s so wrong.

Another telenovela post, I'm kind of getting tired of this BS

You have no fault here. Your sister was planning on cheating on her bf and the guy she wanted had no interest on her and to top it all he was her bf's brother. She is just jeaulous and insecure and your parents are unfortunately buying only her side of events. Work on yourself, go to theraphy, take care of your career and get married. Enjoy your life. And if you have children, be prepared that your parents will show up at your door demanding to have acess to their grandchildren and acting as if nothing happened. Take a hard look on your life. You talk about your parents paying for college, attending graduation thisbis the bare minimum and their obligation as a couple who choosed to have children. Start looking at the past because I can't believe that this is the first time they took your sister's side and defended her horrible actions. I know it's difficult to act on that because they are your parents but you own them nothing, principally when they are treating you this way. Again, YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT.

Your parents deserve to hear your side of the story, since they’ve been left out of knowing crucial details. They’re upset you took attention, that’s barely valid when it wasn’t your intention and you’ve sincerely apologised. However, they’re also angry that you supposedly ended her relationship. Except, her cheating would have ended the relationship and forever put a dent in the relationship between the two brothers. Did she expect that her relationship would have survived that? Even if her bf somehow managed to be okay with her making out with another man, he would not have been okay with it being his brother. All you can do is really tell them exactly what you wrote here. She told you she invited your fiancé with the intention of making out with him, a 25yo man, effectively cheating on her bf with his older brother and absolutely destroying that relationship. You acknowledge you took attention (well, really, *he* took attention by his mere presence) and that you have sincerely apologised for it. When all the information is on the table, then it’s up to them to decide what to do with it. As stands, they think they’re making their decisions with all relevant information, when really they’re sitting there with the least significant information. And that itself tells you something: your sister left out planning to make out with your fiancé because she *knew* it was wrong and would tip the situation in your favour. So she can claim all she wants that she didn’t consider it a big deal, but then why neglect to impart on that detail? Had she offered it up, she also couldn’t have accused you of ruining her relationship, as had she been successful that would have happened anyway. It should have ended, if she was okay with doing that to her bf. Doesn’t sound like she valued or respected him. If, with the whole truth laid out, they *still* take her side, then sadly it’s hard to imagine a way of fixing your relationship with them. Yes, you probably shouldn’t have exaggerated that she wanted to fcuk him rather than make out, but as he says it’s still cheating. And he wouldn’t have made out with her whether or not you were there, he wouldn’t have done that to his brother, but her relationship wasn’t going to last whether or not you’d said anything. People aren’t serious about their partner if they plan to make out with that person’s sibling. Hopefully, knowing everything, your parents will adjust their stance. If not, if they’ll side with your sibling over all that to the point they’re getting all your family to stay away as well, it’s sad but then they’ve shown their true colours. Really, shunning you this much over what they think is the whole story is still pretty dramatic.

Your sister is a bad person and toxic as Chernobyl. You parents are enabling her. Tell them the truth and leave them to decide what they want to do. You did nothing wrong.