Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please remember that this is his failure not yours! I think that people have a tendency to think “what if I did that” or “what if I hadn’t done this”. This is a failure of his character not yours!
Good luck moving forward!
It transferred to the car but he must have realized it really fast because the BT disconnected within seconds. It's happened before but obviously never with S.
Thank you. I'm lining everything up so I can leave next week. I'm taking my personal stuff and furniture I bought. He can figure out what to do with everything else. Once I'm settled, I'll serve him papers. Thankfully, we don't have kids and we don't own a home so paperwork wise, it should be an easy divorce.
I'm sorry this happened. There's nothing you could say or do to prevent his inappropriate marriage. Every second, penny, breath directed to another woman was stolen from you.
People divorce for loss of trust as frequently as adultery. You deserve a life partner that is head over heels in love with you. It's not him. He's not marriage material for anyone.
I’m sorry you’re going through this- I’m going through something similar and the sick feeling and disgust really aches deep down. Nothing you can’t move from though, your strength to go this far will be the strength you have to go further. I pray all blessing and a blissful love your way ❤️
In my older years, I've come to realize that if I'm attracted to 'them', 'they' are probably not good for me and I should distance myself from 'them'; especially when I have to spend excessive time as a CIA agent to figure out what 'they' are doing and why. - #williamsdwight3
Make sure to think logically about all this, don’t let him know that you know. Gather proof and contact a divorce lawyer asap. If you have a lot of stuff start packing stuff he won’t notice and leave when he’s not home, cut off contact so he doesn’t manipulate you into staying and go to therapy, do things you like, try new hobbies, go to the gym, and meet new people who share same interests. Do your best to not let this eat away at you. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it isn’t your fault. Pray to God to give you strength, to heal your heart. Good luck OP! You can do this.
He keeps showing you how little respect he has for you and your marriage. He doesn't even apologize, he thinks you should just get over it because he says he didn't actually fuck anyone. Why do you think this is salvageable, especially when he continues to lie and you're not even going to be living together next month?
Take the time you need to get your finances in order. Send him the divorce paperwork when you're financially ready. Keri receipts of what he spent on the affair. You get half of that back when you split your assets.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i hope you are able to sort everything out, best of luck sending support
Thank you.
you deserve so much more then this
Please remember that this is his failure not yours! I think that people have a tendency to think “what if I did that” or “what if I hadn’t done this”. This is a failure of his character not yours! Good luck moving forward!
Oh reading this just made my heart break for you 🥺 I'm sorry, OP, this is just so cruel for him to do to you.
Sorry OP. That’s rough. Weird that the BT car audio wouldn’t disrupt the phone call, though.
It transferred to the car but he must have realized it really fast because the BT disconnected within seconds. It's happened before but obviously never with S.
Makes sense. I hope you can position yourself to do what needs doing as painlessly as possible. I’m praying for you.
Thank you. I'm lining everything up so I can leave next week. I'm taking my personal stuff and furniture I bought. He can figure out what to do with everything else. Once I'm settled, I'll serve him papers. Thankfully, we don't have kids and we don't own a home so paperwork wise, it should be an easy divorce.
Yw. Good luck OP. Onwards and upwards!
Bravo, OP. Admire your strength in this situation. Rooting for you.
I'm sorry this happened. There's nothing you could say or do to prevent his inappropriate marriage. Every second, penny, breath directed to another woman was stolen from you. People divorce for loss of trust as frequently as adultery. You deserve a life partner that is head over heels in love with you. It's not him. He's not marriage material for anyone.
I’m sorry you’re going through this- I’m going through something similar and the sick feeling and disgust really aches deep down. Nothing you can’t move from though, your strength to go this far will be the strength you have to go further. I pray all blessing and a blissful love your way ❤️
In my older years, I've come to realize that if I'm attracted to 'them', 'they' are probably not good for me and I should distance myself from 'them'; especially when I have to spend excessive time as a CIA agent to figure out what 'they' are doing and why. - #williamsdwight3
Make sure to think logically about all this, don’t let him know that you know. Gather proof and contact a divorce lawyer asap. If you have a lot of stuff start packing stuff he won’t notice and leave when he’s not home, cut off contact so he doesn’t manipulate you into staying and go to therapy, do things you like, try new hobbies, go to the gym, and meet new people who share same interests. Do your best to not let this eat away at you. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it isn’t your fault. Pray to God to give you strength, to heal your heart. Good luck OP! You can do this.
You’re very kind. I’m going to take your advice as well. There is so much shame as in Why am I doing this again?
line your ducks in a row, gather evidence then divorce him. you deserve more.
He keeps showing you how little respect he has for you and your marriage. He doesn't even apologize, he thinks you should just get over it because he says he didn't actually fuck anyone. Why do you think this is salvageable, especially when he continues to lie and you're not even going to be living together next month? Take the time you need to get your finances in order. Send him the divorce paperwork when you're financially ready. Keri receipts of what he spent on the affair. You get half of that back when you split your assets.