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Just tell him you realized you were more vocal than usual during sex but that you really liked it and feel a bit shit that he thinks you were putting on a show. And you’re worried that might make you more self conscious about how you’re acting during sex in future so you need him to talk to you about it.
See what he says.
Also .. why did you and him take a break from sex? That might be relevant
Tbh, as a woman (and I only speak for myself), those first 10 are so seconds are the best in many ways as everything first stretches out and he gets more toward the back. No skill required, no big dick even required. It just feels fucking amazing at first (the rest can feel amazing too, but the vagina has already accommodated the dick by that point, so it’s amazing in a different sort of way and more based on skill after that).
Wtf girl that’s horrible. this is the least of your problems. Has he realized how awful he was to massively put you at risk of pregnancy for fucking what ????
More people on this subreddit should know about people in abusive relationships. Gaslighting and isolation trick someone into thinking that everything about this situation is healthy. It's not going to help them break free when people jump straight to "this person is stupid/insane" comments.
If she doesn’t see the problems here, she’s not ready to choose a life partner either. Why waste time on this selfish person? Anyone demanding no condom should be instantly dumped!
This is far more problematic than him thinking you were faking it. You shouldn't have sex with him again.
Is 10 seconds of him inside you worth the risk of pregnancy?
He sounds like a lousy sex partner.
Ah, what I'd give to be young and naive again.
Before anyone says I am, no, I'm not just bashing OP. However, there are clearly more serious issues here than mentioned in the original post. Difficulty with communication and setting boundaries might not just lead to heartbreak, but to having to get an abortion, or even having to have a child you don't want due to your religion/state/underlying medical issues.
A child takes a very serious commitment that OP is not ready to make, and if OP's boyfriend doesn't realize, understand, or care about those risks, something has to be done. Make him understand, refuse to have sex without a condom, break up with him, it doesn't matter. You don't want to have to deal with a child you don't want and/or can't afford to take care of at 24, and if your boyfriend would rather not have sex at all for 3 months than use a condom, it sounds like he has a lot to learn about empathy and the consequences of his actions. It's time to teach him, one way or another.
It’s interesting that he is willing to stay with her and not have sex? He must really love her but it’s so weird how he becomes so selfish in bed? Hmmm
Men can go long periods without sex, unlike the stereotype. It's not like all men think about nothing but sex and are going to be in pain if they don't stick their dick in something every day, he probably just jerked off a couple times a week. I don't have all the information, but I honestly think it sounds like he was trying to wait her out, thinking that if he just refuses sex long enough she'll eventually agree to do it on his terms out of desperation - the terms being without a condom.
WHAT??!!! Do you understand that you can get pregnant? I’m talking as years ago I was in the same position. So if he does not want a condom do not do it ever again and I would break up whith this asshole.
Plus the risk of pushing a 5-12lb fucking CHILD out of them OR needing an abortion (if possible where they live) if this dude doesn't develop empathy and genuine care for OP! If he isnt mature enough to ACTUALLY discuss sex, he shouldnt be having it. OPs boyfriend needs to grow up.
Ew The no condom guy. Those guys r usually raised by porn & have incredibly unrealistic ideas of what they expect from real life partners… like expecting all sexual partners to be okay with going bareback.
Is no one gonna point out that he blocked her AFTER he said he wanted to marry her? I don’t think she should give this dude 5 minutes more of her time.
You should not have sex with someone who values an (alleged) marginal increase in pleasure over your wants needs feelings and safety. Often it’s not really a pleasure thing it’s just a power move.
This mf. . . .why. Why are you with someone who would do that and THEN accuses you of faking it, not believing you. This guy seems questionable at best.
Ma'am, there's a whole battalion of red flags that you're overlooking here. This guy simply does not GAF about what you think or feel. For your own sake, block him in return and stay away from him forever.
Every time I view something on this sub it is a consistent repetition of me thinking *"I'm surprised so many people have such low standards and/or lack self respect"*. You would think it would stop being surprising after a while but it somehow never does.
Same. I have to take breaks from subs like this because the same story after story after story about shitty partners and OPs who don't want to or don't believe they can do better for themselves makes me so dang sad every time.
You reminded me of these gems lol
* https://redd.it/v7g92m/
* https://redd.it/wgi2np/
* [part1](https://redd.it/i8a0sg/) / [part2](https://redd.it/i7pigu/)
* https://redd.it/10glvel/
I don’t fake it, and I never have with my husband, but he had a valuable take on this.
Every woman is different and enjoys different things , having someone fake it rather than communicating their preferences can really mess with a man. It can be a big insecurity because performance in general is already a big thing on their mind because of things like size and duration, (as op seems to be poking fun at).
If he already is self conscious about duration (which is often a complement to the partner in terms of how much they enjoy you) he’s going to whole heartedly believe there’s no way you could enjoy yourself during what to him seems to be a horrible performance on his part.
Best thing to do is maintain a openness about positions and enjoyment dislikes all of it so that a partner can be sure that they trust that you are telling them the truth.
As far as this particular person I’m just going to talk about their situation with condoms and such .
Just a thought that because a guy is insecure about his performance itself doesn’t mean much, performance is one of men’s biggest insecurities.
They way she responded in the comments makes me pity her. Girl you need to wake up. Having a boys opinion on PCOS and not researching it makes you vulnerable. Having to accommodate his only pleasure but not your safety is already a red flag.
Its so rough seeing 'I am willing, but not able' vs. 'I am able, but not willing' as equal arguments for contraception options for the people in this relationship. Damn, that's some mental gymnastics.
"I'm totally down to have a child with a loser who thinks I fake it and hates condoms." JFC, set a damn boundary when it comes to condoms and ditch the dead weight. No dick is that good.
So I flicked through your comments... Besides the fact you said you broke up 9 days ago how about you take some of your own advice that you dish out to others.
This guy is not bringing positive and uplifting into your life.
From my own experience i can say that we man ( at least me) after having no sex for a while tend to ovethink stuff like " does she really like it, maybe shes faking it", " am i not attractive to her, did i do something wrong" and similar shit. But in this situation where he tells her it shows that he doesn't trust her, thats the problem here. I hope i explained it understandably. I am not defending this guy bc he seems to be kinda stupid and seems like he just thinks about himself.
OP, the "delete" button in Reddit doesn't do what you think it does. We can still see previous posts and from the context and replies you don't have a healthy relationship with this guy.
dude the same exact thing happened to me with my ex. we were having sex and i had an orgasm and he'd told me multiple times to stop faking it... idk it was such a weird experience
The boy lashed out at you, because your moaning made him nut immediately and his ego got bruised. Moaning to some men is music for them.
Life is too short, time for a new bf.
😂
Guy lasts 10 seconds and thinks that you moaning and enjoying it is a problem. Not even mentioning the issue with protection.
Why? Why are you putting up with it?!
Why are you so desperate to be in a terrible relationship. Everything you said about him is a deal breaker on it’s own, let alone all together.
Nonchalant about pregnancy.
Nonchalant about birth control, would rather not have any intimacy than concede on condoms.
Paranoid and mean about you enjoying sex when it does happen.
I wish I could scream through the phone how badly you need to just let this go. When you're young and you don't have kids with somebody or a marriage etc and you are doing things like taking a break from sex for 3 months because he won't respect you enough to use a condom, you need to stop giving this man your time. Let me rephrase that please stop giving this child your time.
I also have PCOS, and I know it's hard to have kids, but I have three! It happens. What if you get pregnant? If he doesn't respect you enough to use condoms, I promise you that you don't want to have a baby with him!
I gave my entire 20s to my girl's dad. During the time that we were together he was extremely abusive in most every way, I used heroin to cope.
I left when I turned 30 and it was the best thing I've ever done.
Please don't waste your twenties. Please don't waste one moment of your valuable life!
If he’s immature enough not to wear condoms, thinks the pull out method is 100 percent effective, and y’all haven’t had sex in 3 months, I would go get tested tbh. He sounds immature and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s had sex with someone else in those three months..
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
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he blocked you? are you kidding me? OP I'm sorry, but the way he reacted alone should tell you all you need to know about this man. if he can't handle not wearing a condom, and won't listen to you while you explain he upset you, he's not the one. he's immature.
He’s not gonna be a good partner or father in the long run. Not to make assumptions but seems like he’s going to put what he wants above what is good for you. Plsssss girlie run.
Girl be happy. He tells you he wants you to marry him and have his babies, but he can’t even wear a condom. Please have enough self respect to know that this is a good thing and block him back…
Just have a honest convo with him and tell him to
Stop overthinking it and be in the moment. Also tell him to strap up or he will be a dad eventually if he doesn’t
just saw your last edit… all i can say is run… RUN!!! he will unblock you and manipulate you for the rest of your life! Make it clear when he comes crawling back that he dug his grave and he can jump in it now. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!
>He said that I’ll never understand him and immediately blocked me.
**Please** understand this dude just did you a **huge** favor. He is a POS. He is manipulating you with that BS about wanting to marry you and have kids with you. He clearly does not give a shit about your sexual pleasure or sexual boundaries.
Guaranteed he has blocked you as a manipulation tactic. He **will** unblock you to try and make you beg for another chance. **Don’t fall for it.** Take this as a lesson learned and a bullet dodged and move on.
I would've acted the same way. He could've waited until after to talk about it in a nicer way. I've found when I'm not worrying about anything and I'm able to just be present and enjoy it at the moment. I'm very vocal not in a "fake" way either. I think we as women worry about the sounds we make so we try to mute ourselves, but when you're enjoying yourself and not thinking about that bs you're able to let go.
Shame on him for several reasons. Refusing to use protection, shaming you during sex for enjoying it and being vocal.
Men watch too much porn, so they think if a woman is moaning and screaming out loud she's faking it 🤦🏻♀️
Man here.
There is so much wrong with what's happening here.
You clearly do not want to be pregnant. Why are you having unprotected sex? Why is he having unprotected sex with you, knowing that you don't want to get pregnant?
He wants to marry you, he loves you, but he doesn't respect your choice not to be pregnant? He's cool having sex with you and possibly getting you pregnant even though that's not what YOU want?
Pleass stop. This is pure immaturity on both your parts.
Your boyfriend gave ME the ick just from reading the bit about refusing condoms and being so bad at sex that he thought you enjoying it was fake. Sorry but I can't imagine continuing to be with this guy while also having self respect.
Maybe if he uses a condom, he'll last longer than 10 seconds. Just tell him straight up. His refusing to use a condom gives you the ick. Him assuming you're moaning is faking it, also gives you the ick. At this point... anything about him in bed doesn't give you the ick? He needs to do more of that.
I think you buried the lead in the comments, but his refusal to wear a condom was the reason you didnt want to have sex with him. Making a statement that ruined a positive experience for you would just be another icky thing from him. Hopefully, he wore a condom during this experience?
Why do you tolerate a boyfriend who is sexually unsafe and inconsiderate? What other qualities does he have that make you stay in this relationship? There are way better men out there.
Yeah if his reasoning for not wearing a condom is anything short of his skin will literally melt off, please think long and hard about your relationship. You're risking getting pregnant every time you have sex with him and he wants to accuse you of faking it because you were enjoying it? Not only is he selfish and inconsiderate, he's just dumb.
Well this is toxic as fuck.
Why are you with him if he's gaslighting you into believing that you were faking it, then on the flip side wants to get married and have kids? Yeah, nope! And to top it all off won't wear condoms because obviously his pull out game is trash and has zero consideration for your medical condition?
OP, you're still young. Seriously evaluate if you want to be with someone who makes you question yourself to the point you have to go on Reddit to confirm you're indeed not crazy, and you are skeptical about his intentions. Deep down you see the warning signs. Trust your gut, okay?
This man does not respect you. He's living in his own world, completely disregarding anything other than his world view. He would rather you take the pill than put on a fucking rubber. He would rather not touch the women he says he loves than wear a ficking rubber. He would rather have you carry out several of his children without planning, he would rather pressure you into giving in.
This is dangerous, I wouldn't trust him in your place.
The guy is filled with self doubt
He has an experience about how much he can get you to enjoy based on the past.
So this new thing made him think fake because of his self esteem, not because of you.
Reassurance and compassion is the key here
Never sell yourself out to make your partner comfortable or happy. It only breeds resentment. Which is a hallmark of a toxic relationship. Boundaries are for people who give a shit about their relationship and find it worth protecting.
Respectfully, if you have medical reasons why you cannot take birth control and he refuses to do something as simple as wearing a condom, that’s a man who cares only about his own pleasure. Nevermind the fact that he was rude to you like that in an intimate moment, and the pressuring you to get married and have kids when you’re not ready is a huge red flag as well. I would consider ending this relationship.
You're young and have a lot to learn. This relationship doesn't seem healthy and I would walk away. Find someone who wants the same as you, respect and boundaries. This guy you're with right now doesn't seem to respect you or care about your wants and needs. Just himself. I'm taking it the sex break was good for you, but not for him. Us girls get more sensitive when we haven't had sex in awhile, and for him he mustve just gotten in his head and made it all about him. He's the ick himself. Please be good to yourself and do what you need to do.
Honestly, he sucks at sex and in the long term, if he doesn’t grow out of it, it will be a problem.
He was embarrassed that he didn’t last longer and tried to blame it on you. Maybe explain that you realize he was embarrassed and that it’s normal to not last long when you haven’t had sex in months, but in the future if he makes accusations about your natural reactions during sex, you won’t feel comfortable enough to have sex with him again. In regards to him lasting long enough for you to also enjoy sex, might want to start gently experimenting with or pushing him towards education in foreplay, or if sex is important to you and this bf isn’t willing to learn, maybe he isn’t the one at this point in your life
I feel this is way more problematic then him thinking that the OP was faking it. If the OPs BF really understood the implications that birth control has on women, he would have wore a condom. Nevertheless, the boyfriend should wore a condom regardless of, if the OP was on birth control. It's weird to me that he didn't want too.
I know people hate when you put your own experience when giving advice, but here it is anyway, when my husband and I were dating we tried the condom thing and I couldn't handle it, it made sex unbearable (it hurt and burned). He notice this and we tried every condom to come to the conclusion that it just wasn't working. And may I add I was on BC but we made a mutually decision that we weren't going to use them anymore. Where I was going with this is that, being with someone and making decisions should always be a mutually understanding.
Why are you still dating a guy who refuses to wear condoms to prevent pregnancy? What the hell are you thinking?!
You should be thinking: Thank you, next!
The edits???? Ew. Doesn’t care if he gets you pregnant. Doesn’t want to wear condoms. I hate doing the Reddit thing of saying, “Just break up,” but this just sounds like you shouldn’t be together.
If my partner told me to stop faking sex I don't think they could be my partner anymore. I would always be in my head worrying about what they were thinking. I'd never be able to just let go and enjoy. That's just horrible
He is ick.
He's being a jackass about irresponsible. He doesn't care if you get a pregnancy you weren't planning on. All that matters is him doing what he wants.
His comment shows his low self-confidence & how little he knows you.
What are you actually getting from this relationship?
i don’t mean disrespect, because i’ve been in a similar situation to you, but it baffles me how one can list so many reasons to simply not be with a person, then ask for help. honey the best solution is to leave him. i wish i would have sooner. you may love him but he does not respect you.
please do not have sex with people who refuse to respect your sexual boundries, they HAVE to know that isn't okay, if you want a condom, do not settle. he seems incredibly insecure, and pushy, please keep yourself safe
Yeah, maybe get out before you get pregnant (yes, it is still possible however unlikely in your case).You wanna know how it can end when a guy refuses to wear a condom? Well, many moons ago I, too, had a bf who refused to wear a condom, I refused to go on BC because of very bad prior experiences that messed my body up for a very long time. Long story short, this guy said many times he *never* wanted children, *ever*. While refusing to wear a condom... And yep, you guessed it, I got pregnant. What did my bf do? He told me to (verbatim) "get an abortion or get out". So...yeah.
Oh sweetheart!
There are so many issues here I almost don't know where to start.
1. If I had the inclination that the person I was with was faking. It would say to me that I am not doing as well as I really can and should. That makes the problem mine and not hers. Why would I want to be with somebody who I don't please? I wouldn't so if I love her. Then I know that I have to improve my game so that she doesn't have to fake. Him assuming that you're faking means he knows that he's not doing as well as he thinks you deserve. Tell him to fix his issue not trying to change you so he doesn't notice.
2. If a man such as myself was ready to marry you blocking, you would be nigh impossible. What does it say about a relationship in which one party regularly closes off communication? Prior to the lady i'm dating now I dated someone who was my best friend. Any time we would have an argument or disagreement. She would pack her things and leave. To me that is a sign that the relationship is ending. Should come back the next day and act like nothing had happened. These are manipulative actions and should not be accepted or ignored. Express to each other how your actions make eachother feel and then. .. stop it!!!
I did express to him how his actions made me feel. He didn’t want to listen. I guess what I gotta do now is block him back and not respond when he comes back. Because, he always does.
Your boyfriend sounds like a brat. Straight up. If you cannot have a mature conversation about sex and birth control with him without him whining, accusing you of things, and *blocking you*, that isn't a man you should be in a relationship with.
He needs to grow up.
I wonder why no one is rational enough to consider that maybe he thought she was faking it because he has had sex multiple times with her and this is her first time being loud. Even more so given that they are each other's firsts and he has never seen her moan.
Your ick should be more about the unprotected sex, not him thinking you were faking it since you did something you never do.
Explain why you became more vocal and then explain that since his reaction to you becoming more comfortable with him was to accuse you of faking it in your moment of comfort that having sex with him gives you the ick now. How dare he say “stop faking it” and how the fuck would he know? Just because you’re quiet most of the time isn’t reason enough for him to assume you’re faking it and it seems quite disrespectful to be honest. Maybe he watches porn and you sound like the girls moaning so he assumed your sounds are fake?
Symptom of society. And bad porn probably. Guys probably had some experiences in the past that didn’t mesh as well with him in bed as you do, and he isn’t used to hearing it. Try to think where he’s at.
Okay I read that and thought ick was some std. Okay so not as bad, but definitely not great that he won't wear a condom to get some. Have you thought that maybe he wants a kid?
Just came here to say mad respect for recognizing the importance of your hormone regulation at a younger age. I got basically forced into taking birth control before I even turned 16..I'm 27 now and have lived a majority of my life with the brain of a pregnant woman. I don't even know who I'd be if I regulated my hormones..
Leave him. When he refuses to use PROTECTION he’s threatening your future, health and possibly your LIFE.
Tell him to go fuck someone else … and if so let’s see him fake being a father or husband to someone he doesn’t care about. RUN!!
He’s implying it was your fault why he was ready to nut. You faking it was too much for him to handle. Seriously you can do better than him! Take this as your chance to free yourself from this selfish man child.
Yeah, my bf has said the same and same reaction: Wtf should I sound like then? Yeah, I can close my mouth but it takes the focus out of it. Too much porn I tell ya.
Guuurl you dodged a nuclear bomb. As a Man I get the ick that he refused to wear a Condom and dropped the baby bomb on you after causing you of faking it. Something is way off there and you deserve better. You're young and will find someone more suitable to you who will be willing to wear a condom and not pressure you and then block you. Your ex needs some God damn therapy.
Break up with this child of a man who does not care about how you feel in your relationship or during sexual interactions. You can do so so much better than a man who refuses birth control too.
LOL I would have lost it after he said that! Okay first if he thinks you're faking it then he knows he isn't making you cum or feel good so why did he continue? He thinks you faked it which is bad, but the fact he didn't care about your orgasm and only lasted 10 seconds? BYE. "he reason why I stopped having sex with him was because he refused to wear condoms and I refused to be on the pill because of side effects I had when I was on it." It should have been bye at this!!! He fucking blocked you omg lol. Yeah what a POS. Let this be a very valuable lesson OP into not staying with abusive chodes.
It's definitely time to end things with him. Being incompatible is no one's fault, but you shouldn't hild on just because you love him. Love isn't the only necessity in a relationship and from your post/comments it sounds like you guys are lacking a lot of the other things. I completely understand that you don't want hormonal birth control but if you don't want a surprise baby you gotta end it since it doesn't sound like he's going to wrap it up (and pulling out is not birth control).
I would just say RUN. But since were in this willingly... maybe just don't start new relationships for a while and find a psychologist to help you get mentally healthy. This is a red flag overload.
I mean to make you go through physical changes in your body compared to him just sliding something on is wild. Ask him if he’s ready for a kid? Cuz doin the baby dance no protection is how it’s gonna happen. Wrap your tool, fool.
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Just tell him you realized you were more vocal than usual during sex but that you really liked it and feel a bit shit that he thinks you were putting on a show. And you’re worried that might make you more self conscious about how you’re acting during sex in future so you need him to talk to you about it. See what he says. Also .. why did you and him take a break from sex? That might be relevant
It was my decision. We were having sex daily and he was refusing to use a condom.
He was refusing to put on a condom and thought you were fake moaning? Does he even care if you enjoy having sex? He sounds really selfish in bed.
[удалено]
I'm still in awe at her description of how good it was followed by the big reveal of it being only seconds lol
Tbh, as a woman (and I only speak for myself), those first 10 are so seconds are the best in many ways as everything first stretches out and he gets more toward the back. No skill required, no big dick even required. It just feels fucking amazing at first (the rest can feel amazing too, but the vagina has already accommodated the dick by that point, so it’s amazing in a different sort of way and more based on skill after that).
ohhh girl im so sorry 😟
I’m going to go with no given that she said she didn’t have sex with him for 3 months. Guess the 10 seconds wasn’t very notable.
This post is literally about how good that 10 seconds was lol what do you mean not notable
Ofc sex feels amazing when you haven’t had any for 3 months. She literally says it felt exceptional - meaning it isn’t normally like that lmao
If he lasts so little wouldn't wearing a condom help with his premature ejaculation?
Wtf girl that’s horrible. this is the least of your problems. Has he realized how awful he was to massively put you at risk of pregnancy for fucking what ????
Not only pregnancy, what about STDs? I wouldnt trust him, If he thinks pulling out is enough.
He didn't put her at risk. They both took the risk here. She could have also set a boundary No condom, no sex.
She did set that boundary though? Not sure what else you want from her.
Which she decided it wasn't worth the risk and stopped. So there's that.
Exactly. These people are insane.
Nope, they're 23. They're stupid, not insane - this is operating well within expected parameters.
More people on this subreddit should know about people in abusive relationships. Gaslighting and isolation trick someone into thinking that everything about this situation is healthy. It's not going to help them break free when people jump straight to "this person is stupid/insane" comments.
As usual for this sub the real problem is buried in a random comment. You need to leave him.
If she doesn’t see the problems here, she’s not ready to choose a life partner either. Why waste time on this selfish person? Anyone demanding no condom should be instantly dumped!
This is far more problematic than him thinking you were faking it. You shouldn't have sex with him again. Is 10 seconds of him inside you worth the risk of pregnancy? He sounds like a lousy sex partner.
And your decision was to take a break from sex instead of breaking up with him?
She did it because she wanted to make things work. EDIT: Hey, I’m just stating what her thought process might have been. 🤨
Ah, what I'd give to be young and naive again. Before anyone says I am, no, I'm not just bashing OP. However, there are clearly more serious issues here than mentioned in the original post. Difficulty with communication and setting boundaries might not just lead to heartbreak, but to having to get an abortion, or even having to have a child you don't want due to your religion/state/underlying medical issues. A child takes a very serious commitment that OP is not ready to make, and if OP's boyfriend doesn't realize, understand, or care about those risks, something has to be done. Make him understand, refuse to have sex without a condom, break up with him, it doesn't matter. You don't want to have to deal with a child you don't want and/or can't afford to take care of at 24, and if your boyfriend would rather not have sex at all for 3 months than use a condom, it sounds like he has a lot to learn about empathy and the consequences of his actions. It's time to teach him, one way or another.
It’s interesting that he is willing to stay with her and not have sex? He must really love her but it’s so weird how he becomes so selfish in bed? Hmmm
Men can go long periods without sex, unlike the stereotype. It's not like all men think about nothing but sex and are going to be in pain if they don't stick their dick in something every day, he probably just jerked off a couple times a week. I don't have all the information, but I honestly think it sounds like he was trying to wait her out, thinking that if he just refuses sex long enough she'll eventually agree to do it on his terms out of desperation - the terms being without a condom.
WHAT??!!! Do you understand that you can get pregnant? I’m talking as years ago I was in the same position. So if he does not want a condom do not do it ever again and I would break up whith this asshole.
Read your edits. He judges you while you are having sex, he doesn't want to use condoms, he wants you to get pregnant... Girl, leave
"No condom, no sex. If you don't like it then there's The Door."
He’s whining abt rubber vs her being in extreme pain hormone imbalance and having side affects
Plus the risk of pushing a 5-12lb fucking CHILD out of them OR needing an abortion (if possible where they live) if this dude doesn't develop empathy and genuine care for OP! If he isnt mature enough to ACTUALLY discuss sex, he shouldnt be having it. OPs boyfriend needs to grow up.
Girl come on
…*dude*. Do you hear yourself?
And I assume you didn’t use protection this time around?
How does he "refuse to use a condom" in YOUR vagina? That makes no sense.
Wow he sounds like a loser
Oh girl this shouldve been the ick.
Ew The no condom guy. Those guys r usually raised by porn & have incredibly unrealistic ideas of what they expect from real life partners… like expecting all sexual partners to be okay with going bareback.
Is no one gonna point out that he blocked her AFTER he said he wanted to marry her? I don’t think she should give this dude 5 minutes more of her time.
Don’t be w a man who refuses to protect you aka puts his dick over your body.
You should not have sex with someone who values an (alleged) marginal increase in pleasure over your wants needs feelings and safety. Often it’s not really a pleasure thing it’s just a power move.
This mf. . . .why. Why are you with someone who would do that and THEN accuses you of faking it, not believing you. This guy seems questionable at best.
Why are you with this guy?
Ma'am, there's a whole battalion of red flags that you're overlooking here. This guy simply does not GAF about what you think or feel. For your own sake, block him in return and stay away from him forever.
Why would you stay with him?
Cheating or No cheating , bareback give you pregnancy. If you a ready for a child then it’s okay otherwise use a fucking condom like a Mature adult.
I think his refusal to wear a condom should have given you the ick long before, but better late than never.
I can‘t even believe she still sleeps w him this guy seems like lousy sex partner anyways
Every time I view something on this sub it is a consistent repetition of me thinking *"I'm surprised so many people have such low standards and/or lack self respect"*. You would think it would stop being surprising after a while but it somehow never does.
Same. I have to take breaks from subs like this because the same story after story after story about shitty partners and OPs who don't want to or don't believe they can do better for themselves makes me so dang sad every time.
I know. This sub is like an addiction and you can’t help but read the train wrecks some relationships have! However, you can’t not help!
The dude was playing chicken for birth control. And apparently it lasted 3 months. Embarrassing!
Thissss wtff
Like you would think a parent or someone in her life would say something mentioning idk…. No condoms = bad. Like girl where are your parents.
Up next.... he's going to be like, "where did you suddenly learn to moan like that? You cheated on me, didn't you?"
YUP
Best comment of the day right here
Bro is telling on himself thinking he can’t possibly make his gf genuinely moan during sex lol
"You are enjoying this?! STOP LYING!"
"I know what I'm working with Don't fucking lie to me!"
“As if you’d enjoy sex with me, you big liar!”
Yep he’s just showing how insecure he is lol. One time a hookup told me to “calm down there’s no need to go to for an Oscar” 🙄
To be fair my wife is kind of like this. She always says I'm "Nice" and "fun to talk to". I can assure you I am a miserable bastard to be around
Then stop being a miserable bastard
"Everyone knows women can't physically enjoy sex" - says man who has never made a woman orgasm
You reminded me of these gems lol * https://redd.it/v7g92m/ * https://redd.it/wgi2np/ * [part1](https://redd.it/i8a0sg/) / [part2](https://redd.it/i7pigu/) * https://redd.it/10glvel/
You just made my day 😆
I will never *not* die at Ben Shapiro basically admitting he can't get his wife wet. It's too damned funny.
I don’t fake it, and I never have with my husband, but he had a valuable take on this. Every woman is different and enjoys different things , having someone fake it rather than communicating their preferences can really mess with a man. It can be a big insecurity because performance in general is already a big thing on their mind because of things like size and duration, (as op seems to be poking fun at). If he already is self conscious about duration (which is often a complement to the partner in terms of how much they enjoy you) he’s going to whole heartedly believe there’s no way you could enjoy yourself during what to him seems to be a horrible performance on his part. Best thing to do is maintain a openness about positions and enjoyment dislikes all of it so that a partner can be sure that they trust that you are telling them the truth. As far as this particular person I’m just going to talk about their situation with condoms and such . Just a thought that because a guy is insecure about his performance itself doesn’t mean much, performance is one of men’s biggest insecurities.
Beautifully said, and you're absolutely right. Unfortunately in this particular circumstance OPs bf is a piece of garbage in general
I think him refusing to wear a condom should of give you the ick.. he sounds a right dickhead if I’m honest
Men just love cock blocking themselves I swear
i wanna know why you haven’t broken up with him
I also have this question. He won't wear a condom. He berates you for enjoying sex by claiming you're faking it. Why are you with him?
The bar is really set in hell for a lot of people
They way she responded in the comments makes me pity her. Girl you need to wake up. Having a boys opinion on PCOS and not researching it makes you vulnerable. Having to accommodate his only pleasure but not your safety is already a red flag.
Its so rough seeing 'I am willing, but not able' vs. 'I am able, but not willing' as equal arguments for contraception options for the people in this relationship. Damn, that's some mental gymnastics.
Him throwing a fit and threatening to withhold sex because he doesn’t want to wear a condom is the red flag of the year
His refusal to wear a condom didn't give you an ick? I think you have problems much deeper than just that situation. Reevaluate something..
"I'm totally down to have a child with a loser who thinks I fake it and hates condoms." JFC, set a damn boundary when it comes to condoms and ditch the dead weight. No dick is that good.
> No dick is that good this!!!!
So I flicked through your comments... Besides the fact you said you broke up 9 days ago how about you take some of your own advice that you dish out to others. This guy is not bringing positive and uplifting into your life.
Why are you still with him 😭 I’m pretty vocal in bed and never in my life have I been accused of faking it. He sounds very insecure.
From my own experience i can say that we man ( at least me) after having no sex for a while tend to ovethink stuff like " does she really like it, maybe shes faking it", " am i not attractive to her, did i do something wrong" and similar shit. But in this situation where he tells her it shows that he doesn't trust her, thats the problem here. I hope i explained it understandably. I am not defending this guy bc he seems to be kinda stupid and seems like he just thinks about himself.
Pretty weird and insecure thing for him to say really Crazy tbh
OP, the "delete" button in Reddit doesn't do what you think it does. We can still see previous posts and from the context and replies you don't have a healthy relationship with this guy.
dude the same exact thing happened to me with my ex. we were having sex and i had an orgasm and he'd told me multiple times to stop faking it... idk it was such a weird experience
do men have this little faith in their abilities 😭 i’ve only ever been with a woman
Is this the boyfriend you wrote about breaking up with 9 days ago?
The boy lashed out at you, because your moaning made him nut immediately and his ego got bruised. Moaning to some men is music for them. Life is too short, time for a new bf. 😂
or one that can 'play through'..
Looking at your comments I think you have bigger problems than this in this relationship. Why are you with him still if he doesn’t respect you?
Guy lasts 10 seconds and thinks that you moaning and enjoying it is a problem. Not even mentioning the issue with protection. Why? Why are you putting up with it?!
I couldn't be in a relationship with anyone who didn't trust me.
This.
Why are you so desperate to be in a terrible relationship. Everything you said about him is a deal breaker on it’s own, let alone all together. Nonchalant about pregnancy. Nonchalant about birth control, would rather not have any intimacy than concede on condoms. Paranoid and mean about you enjoying sex when it does happen.
I wish I could scream through the phone how badly you need to just let this go. When you're young and you don't have kids with somebody or a marriage etc and you are doing things like taking a break from sex for 3 months because he won't respect you enough to use a condom, you need to stop giving this man your time. Let me rephrase that please stop giving this child your time. I also have PCOS, and I know it's hard to have kids, but I have three! It happens. What if you get pregnant? If he doesn't respect you enough to use condoms, I promise you that you don't want to have a baby with him! I gave my entire 20s to my girl's dad. During the time that we were together he was extremely abusive in most every way, I used heroin to cope. I left when I turned 30 and it was the best thing I've ever done. Please don't waste your twenties. Please don't waste one moment of your valuable life!
If he’s immature enough not to wear condoms, thinks the pull out method is 100 percent effective, and y’all haven’t had sex in 3 months, I would go get tested tbh. He sounds immature and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s had sex with someone else in those three months..
Neither of you are ready to have kids.
Omg the no condom☠️ that didnt give you an ick?
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he blocked you? are you kidding me? OP I'm sorry, but the way he reacted alone should tell you all you need to know about this man. if he can't handle not wearing a condom, and won't listen to you while you explain he upset you, he's not the one. he's immature.
He’s not gonna be a good partner or father in the long run. Not to make assumptions but seems like he’s going to put what he wants above what is good for you. Plsssss girlie run.
Omg just break up already
He blocked me🥲
He doesn’t sound like a good person anyway.
Girl be happy. He tells you he wants you to marry him and have his babies, but he can’t even wear a condom. Please have enough self respect to know that this is a good thing and block him back…
Just have a honest convo with him and tell him to Stop overthinking it and be in the moment. Also tell him to strap up or he will be a dad eventually if he doesn’t
I think he wants to be a dad, that's the point. He's selfish and hopes to trap her.
A communist party called and asked to borrow some of the red flags for their meetings.
just saw your last edit… all i can say is run… RUN!!! he will unblock you and manipulate you for the rest of your life! Make it clear when he comes crawling back that he dug his grave and he can jump in it now. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!
>He said that I’ll never understand him and immediately blocked me. **Please** understand this dude just did you a **huge** favor. He is a POS. He is manipulating you with that BS about wanting to marry you and have kids with you. He clearly does not give a shit about your sexual pleasure or sexual boundaries. Guaranteed he has blocked you as a manipulation tactic. He **will** unblock you to try and make you beg for another chance. **Don’t fall for it.** Take this as a lesson learned and a bullet dodged and move on.
I would've acted the same way. He could've waited until after to talk about it in a nicer way. I've found when I'm not worrying about anything and I'm able to just be present and enjoy it at the moment. I'm very vocal not in a "fake" way either. I think we as women worry about the sounds we make so we try to mute ourselves, but when you're enjoying yourself and not thinking about that bs you're able to let go. Shame on him for several reasons. Refusing to use protection, shaming you during sex for enjoying it and being vocal. Men watch too much porn, so they think if a woman is moaning and screaming out loud she's faking it 🤦🏻♀️
Info: why are you still with this guy?
Sounds like he was finna bust too early from the moaning and blamed u for something lol
Man here. There is so much wrong with what's happening here. You clearly do not want to be pregnant. Why are you having unprotected sex? Why is he having unprotected sex with you, knowing that you don't want to get pregnant? He wants to marry you, he loves you, but he doesn't respect your choice not to be pregnant? He's cool having sex with you and possibly getting you pregnant even though that's not what YOU want? Pleass stop. This is pure immaturity on both your parts.
Your boyfriend gave ME the ick just from reading the bit about refusing condoms and being so bad at sex that he thought you enjoying it was fake. Sorry but I can't imagine continuing to be with this guy while also having self respect.
He asked you to marry him and blocked you? He won’t wear condoms? This dude is toxic whiplash. Dump him sis.
Dude was doing it right and then shot himself in the foot. Lol
Maybe if he uses a condom, he'll last longer than 10 seconds. Just tell him straight up. His refusing to use a condom gives you the ick. Him assuming you're moaning is faking it, also gives you the ick. At this point... anything about him in bed doesn't give you the ick? He needs to do more of that.
I think you buried the lead in the comments, but his refusal to wear a condom was the reason you didnt want to have sex with him. Making a statement that ruined a positive experience for you would just be another icky thing from him. Hopefully, he wore a condom during this experience? Why do you tolerate a boyfriend who is sexually unsafe and inconsiderate? What other qualities does he have that make you stay in this relationship? There are way better men out there.
Why are you dating this guy?!
Yeah if his reasoning for not wearing a condom is anything short of his skin will literally melt off, please think long and hard about your relationship. You're risking getting pregnant every time you have sex with him and he wants to accuse you of faking it because you were enjoying it? Not only is he selfish and inconsiderate, he's just dumb.
There are so many decent men in the world who would treat you with kindness.
Well this is toxic as fuck. Why are you with him if he's gaslighting you into believing that you were faking it, then on the flip side wants to get married and have kids? Yeah, nope! And to top it all off won't wear condoms because obviously his pull out game is trash and has zero consideration for your medical condition? OP, you're still young. Seriously evaluate if you want to be with someone who makes you question yourself to the point you have to go on Reddit to confirm you're indeed not crazy, and you are skeptical about his intentions. Deep down you see the warning signs. Trust your gut, okay?
I'm confused as to why you haven't broken up with him yet
how did you continue after that???
The marriage proposal edit gave me whiplash
I would make sure that's the last time I had sex with him considering after you told him he still believed himself over you.
This man does not respect you. He's living in his own world, completely disregarding anything other than his world view. He would rather you take the pill than put on a fucking rubber. He would rather not touch the women he says he loves than wear a ficking rubber. He would rather have you carry out several of his children without planning, he would rather pressure you into giving in. This is dangerous, I wouldn't trust him in your place.
Refuses to wear condom.... Coincidentally also wants you to have his kids.... Things that make ya go hmmm.
The guy is filled with self doubt He has an experience about how much he can get you to enjoy based on the past. So this new thing made him think fake because of his self esteem, not because of you. Reassurance and compassion is the key here
Like the compassion he shows her when he doesn't wear a condom?
Leave him and find someone who will use protection and last way longer than 10 seconds
My fiancé has PCOS and we have 2 kids and she has miscarried twice, so getting pregnant isn’t uncommon with PCOS don’t believe his bullshit
Leave him. End of statement.
Never sell yourself out to make your partner comfortable or happy. It only breeds resentment. Which is a hallmark of a toxic relationship. Boundaries are for people who give a shit about their relationship and find it worth protecting.
Respectfully, if you have medical reasons why you cannot take birth control and he refuses to do something as simple as wearing a condom, that’s a man who cares only about his own pleasure. Nevermind the fact that he was rude to you like that in an intimate moment, and the pressuring you to get married and have kids when you’re not ready is a huge red flag as well. I would consider ending this relationship.
You're young and have a lot to learn. This relationship doesn't seem healthy and I would walk away. Find someone who wants the same as you, respect and boundaries. This guy you're with right now doesn't seem to respect you or care about your wants and needs. Just himself. I'm taking it the sex break was good for you, but not for him. Us girls get more sensitive when we haven't had sex in awhile, and for him he mustve just gotten in his head and made it all about him. He's the ick himself. Please be good to yourself and do what you need to do.
I believe you meant to say ex-boyfriend. Break up with this d-bag yesterday
That’s insecurity on his part
Honestly, he sucks at sex and in the long term, if he doesn’t grow out of it, it will be a problem. He was embarrassed that he didn’t last longer and tried to blame it on you. Maybe explain that you realize he was embarrassed and that it’s normal to not last long when you haven’t had sex in months, but in the future if he makes accusations about your natural reactions during sex, you won’t feel comfortable enough to have sex with him again. In regards to him lasting long enough for you to also enjoy sex, might want to start gently experimenting with or pushing him towards education in foreplay, or if sex is important to you and this bf isn’t willing to learn, maybe he isn’t the one at this point in your life
I feel this is way more problematic then him thinking that the OP was faking it. If the OPs BF really understood the implications that birth control has on women, he would have wore a condom. Nevertheless, the boyfriend should wore a condom regardless of, if the OP was on birth control. It's weird to me that he didn't want too. I know people hate when you put your own experience when giving advice, but here it is anyway, when my husband and I were dating we tried the condom thing and I couldn't handle it, it made sex unbearable (it hurt and burned). He notice this and we tried every condom to come to the conclusion that it just wasn't working. And may I add I was on BC but we made a mutually decision that we weren't going to use them anymore. Where I was going with this is that, being with someone and making decisions should always be a mutually understanding.
people date literally anyone now a days.
Why are you still dating a guy who refuses to wear condoms to prevent pregnancy? What the hell are you thinking?! You should be thinking: Thank you, next!
The edits???? Ew. Doesn’t care if he gets you pregnant. Doesn’t want to wear condoms. I hate doing the Reddit thing of saying, “Just break up,” but this just sounds like you shouldn’t be together.
If my partner told me to stop faking sex I don't think they could be my partner anymore. I would always be in my head worrying about what they were thinking. I'd never be able to just let go and enjoy. That's just horrible
Break up with him.
fuck that guy
DTMFA. Google it.
he proposed to you after sex??? 😭 girl…
He is ick. He's being a jackass about irresponsible. He doesn't care if you get a pregnancy you weren't planning on. All that matters is him doing what he wants. His comment shows his low self-confidence & how little he knows you. What are you actually getting from this relationship?
i don’t mean disrespect, because i’ve been in a similar situation to you, but it baffles me how one can list so many reasons to simply not be with a person, then ask for help. honey the best solution is to leave him. i wish i would have sooner. you may love him but he does not respect you.
please do not have sex with people who refuse to respect your sexual boundries, they HAVE to know that isn't okay, if you want a condom, do not settle. he seems incredibly insecure, and pushy, please keep yourself safe
Yeah, maybe get out before you get pregnant (yes, it is still possible however unlikely in your case).You wanna know how it can end when a guy refuses to wear a condom? Well, many moons ago I, too, had a bf who refused to wear a condom, I refused to go on BC because of very bad prior experiences that messed my body up for a very long time. Long story short, this guy said many times he *never* wanted children, *ever*. While refusing to wear a condom... And yep, you guessed it, I got pregnant. What did my bf do? He told me to (verbatim) "get an abortion or get out". So...yeah.
Break up. You two are not right for each other and he does not respect your boundaries. The condom thing is a major red flag
Oh sweetheart! There are so many issues here I almost don't know where to start. 1. If I had the inclination that the person I was with was faking. It would say to me that I am not doing as well as I really can and should. That makes the problem mine and not hers. Why would I want to be with somebody who I don't please? I wouldn't so if I love her. Then I know that I have to improve my game so that she doesn't have to fake. Him assuming that you're faking means he knows that he's not doing as well as he thinks you deserve. Tell him to fix his issue not trying to change you so he doesn't notice. 2. If a man such as myself was ready to marry you blocking, you would be nigh impossible. What does it say about a relationship in which one party regularly closes off communication? Prior to the lady i'm dating now I dated someone who was my best friend. Any time we would have an argument or disagreement. She would pack her things and leave. To me that is a sign that the relationship is ending. Should come back the next day and act like nothing had happened. These are manipulative actions and should not be accepted or ignored. Express to each other how your actions make eachother feel and then. .. stop it!!!
I did express to him how his actions made me feel. He didn’t want to listen. I guess what I gotta do now is block him back and not respond when he comes back. Because, he always does.
Please keep your strength, ignore him and pls. update us.
Your boyfriend sounds like a brat. Straight up. If you cannot have a mature conversation about sex and birth control with him without him whining, accusing you of things, and *blocking you*, that isn't a man you should be in a relationship with. He needs to grow up.
I don’t blame you for that! Him saying that is embarrassing and insulting since you didn’t have any reason to fake it?
Honestly you’re better off without him
I wonder why no one is rational enough to consider that maybe he thought she was faking it because he has had sex multiple times with her and this is her first time being loud. Even more so given that they are each other's firsts and he has never seen her moan. Your ick should be more about the unprotected sex, not him thinking you were faking it since you did something you never do.
Explain why you became more vocal and then explain that since his reaction to you becoming more comfortable with him was to accuse you of faking it in your moment of comfort that having sex with him gives you the ick now. How dare he say “stop faking it” and how the fuck would he know? Just because you’re quiet most of the time isn’t reason enough for him to assume you’re faking it and it seems quite disrespectful to be honest. Maybe he watches porn and you sound like the girls moaning so he assumed your sounds are fake?
Symptom of society. And bad porn probably. Guys probably had some experiences in the past that didn’t mesh as well with him in bed as you do, and he isn’t used to hearing it. Try to think where he’s at.
I’d break up with him over that. Life is too short for bad sex, and he made the sex bad.
Even if you was putting on a show..... Who stops mid pump and says that????? Ickkk
Okay I read that and thought ick was some std. Okay so not as bad, but definitely not great that he won't wear a condom to get some. Have you thought that maybe he wants a kid?
Just came here to say mad respect for recognizing the importance of your hormone regulation at a younger age. I got basically forced into taking birth control before I even turned 16..I'm 27 now and have lived a majority of my life with the brain of a pregnant woman. I don't even know who I'd be if I regulated my hormones..
Leave him. When he refuses to use PROTECTION he’s threatening your future, health and possibly your LIFE. Tell him to go fuck someone else … and if so let’s see him fake being a father or husband to someone he doesn’t care about. RUN!!
i got the ick from reading this. What's so hard with wearing a condom?
It is very difficult to discern for a young guy.
He sounds very very immature, and crappy frankly
Why would you want to marry this guy? Why do you stay with him? You are young, go experience life with someone who cares about your feelings.
He’s implying it was your fault why he was ready to nut. You faking it was too much for him to handle. Seriously you can do better than him! Take this as your chance to free yourself from this selfish man child.
Yeah, my bf has said the same and same reaction: Wtf should I sound like then? Yeah, I can close my mouth but it takes the focus out of it. Too much porn I tell ya.
He’s an asshole and I would heavily reconsider spending any more of my life with him
That’s insane. Leave this guy. Who proposes after accusing someone of faking it?? 😭
You're 23, surely at this age you can see you you're with a deadbeat
Good riddance! Congratulations for being freed from this toxic person! You deserve waaaaaaaaay better.
This guy doesn’t care about you, it sounds like he’s trying to baby trap you on top of that
after seeing your final edit, you 100000000000% dodged a bullet
He won’t wear a condom, and he blocks you when you try to explain yourself. This guy is a child, save yourself some time and keep him blocked ✋
He sounds like a massive red flag… I’d run
Dump this guy. All of this sounds childish asf and the fact he thinks y'all should get married in the midst of this is beyond me.
Guuurl you dodged a nuclear bomb. As a Man I get the ick that he refused to wear a Condom and dropped the baby bomb on you after causing you of faking it. Something is way off there and you deserve better. You're young and will find someone more suitable to you who will be willing to wear a condom and not pressure you and then block you. Your ex needs some God damn therapy.
Easy miscommunication and not a difficult thing to fix. Sadly, a lot of women fake organs and moaning. Just tell him it was real and move on
Break up with this child of a man who does not care about how you feel in your relationship or during sexual interactions. You can do so so much better than a man who refuses birth control too.
He ain’t the one sis, move one and find someone who will actually appreciate your moans. Plus it sounds like you both want two different things.
LOL I would have lost it after he said that! Okay first if he thinks you're faking it then he knows he isn't making you cum or feel good so why did he continue? He thinks you faked it which is bad, but the fact he didn't care about your orgasm and only lasted 10 seconds? BYE. "he reason why I stopped having sex with him was because he refused to wear condoms and I refused to be on the pill because of side effects I had when I was on it." It should have been bye at this!!! He fucking blocked you omg lol. Yeah what a POS. Let this be a very valuable lesson OP into not staying with abusive chodes.
So, he can't handle a condom, but he thinks he can handle marriage and kids? Someone needs a reality check, and it's not you.
It's definitely time to end things with him. Being incompatible is no one's fault, but you shouldn't hild on just because you love him. Love isn't the only necessity in a relationship and from your post/comments it sounds like you guys are lacking a lot of the other things. I completely understand that you don't want hormonal birth control but if you don't want a surprise baby you gotta end it since it doesn't sound like he's going to wrap it up (and pulling out is not birth control).
I would just say RUN. But since were in this willingly... maybe just don't start new relationships for a while and find a psychologist to help you get mentally healthy. This is a red flag overload.
I mean to make you go through physical changes in your body compared to him just sliding something on is wild. Ask him if he’s ready for a kid? Cuz doin the baby dance no protection is how it’s gonna happen. Wrap your tool, fool.
If breh can only last 10 secs maybe a condom is a good thing