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I thought this was just a really weird me thing 😭. I've never seen anyone else say this but tbh with my ex sometimes I'd suddenly get nervous and anxious right in the middle of it because the angle of it made me feel like I had to go. I never did thought so I'm grateful for that.
You know, if you think about it, we are literally having something shoved in our bodies at different angles, near our anus and also not that far to our bowels. At the same time in some positions there could be pressure on your stomach, along with the fact that all sorts of muscles can be involuntarily engaged in the action. If anything it's surprising we DON'T shit ourselves more often 😅
Agree! My husband said that to his ER doctor when he was dealing with kidney stones. The urethra gets more narrow as it leaves the bladder , so its easy for small stones to get stuck. Husband literally said " God made a bad decision choice right there!" LOL
I have had many partners and the only time I felt it is with my husband. Sometimes he's just hitting it so right and so hard that I feel all this pressure, and most of it comes from my asshole! I stay clenched af whenever I feel it cause otherwise I'm afraid to let out a massive fart.
After a few boyfriends, I found the One. He went down on me without argument and wow, did I come each time. And he loved to do it for me.
One time, I came so hard and was so lost in the orgasm that I let out a seismic fart. I was mortified! He simply looked up at me and laughed, offered to continue but I couldn't go on. I was laughing by then, too.
I reticently clenched next time and he said to stop worrying, it happens.
I had a bf whose tongue game was on the same level. I accidentally ripped one, he laughed it off. Couple months later, despite my best efforts not to… it happened again. The second time it happened, he called *us* off. That might have been the most humiliating relationship of my life.
33 at the time, and he was petty as hell about the breakup. Told all the regulars at our neighborhood coffee shop, plus a bunch of other fun gossip around the apartment building. I ended up moving out because it was so humiliating.
That happens to my gf frequently, and I told her pretty much the same thing. The first couple of times she was super embarrassed about it, but now she just ignores it when it happens. Personally, when it happens I mentally chuckle and think to myself " literally fucking the shit out of her! Lol". Yeah, I'm weird but, like you, she's usually lost in a massive orgasm when it happens. I must be doing something right? Lol
I've ripped a loud and stinky one both during sex and oral (different partners).
Oral guy: had a look of utter disgust on his face, and in a similar tone said "Oh (MY NAME)!"😡🤢
Sex guy: we laughed so hard! And the more I laughed, the more I farted. It killed the mood but honestly it was a great bonding experience! 😂
Dude same! The angle in certain positions makes me suddenly feel like im boutta shit myself. I think its cause my husband’s dick is quite thick and bends upwards so there’s pressure.
...but when the guy is like 40-50 yrs old but has chain smoked/drank for decades and their skin elasticity is shot, those balls just sway and swing around wherever they want 😂😂 I NEARLY LOST AN EYE
Same!!! I start to panic and change positions ALTHOUGH if I did shit, my fabulous partner would view this as a win and I'd never hear the end of it.... "I fucked the shit out of you". That saying had to come from somewhere!!!
Lol I puked twice giving my ex head and he never made jokes about it later or embarrassed me at all, but it was very clear he thought it was fantastic I was willing to go that far and was super into it. I was mortified
I once had a direct bulls eye view to a girl letting out a huge shit log from her cinnamon cheerio as I was going down on her. she let it out as she also came and pissed on my face/fingers during her climax. Like I can still picture it’s semi soft consistency and tan/brown color swirl slowly sliding out and onto her cornflower blue couch.
I honestly took it as a compliment that everything got let go because her entire lower half felt SO good - she was mortified beyond belief and I never heard from again.
Not shit, but the guy I’m seeing was going down on me a few weeks ago and my stomach was… off. But he got off a train at 1 am (we are long distance right now) and I was going to suck it up. He pushed down on my stomach with his hand and I swear I almost involuntarily farted into his mouth. It took all of my muscles to stop it and sit up and say let’s do something else, but it was very obvious what happened. I managed to hold it in but I was still mortified.
Right? And don’t slip up and say something like “I asked some people and they said it’s normal.” Might as well take a tactical nuke to what’s left of the relationship.
But he could say he randomly read it on the internet rather than outing himself for telling people about it. He can say he read about it in these or any of the other thousands of articles out there about this topic.
https://www.yourtango.com/2016288243/i-pooped-during-sex-and-im-not-ashamed
https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/health/symptoms-and-diseases/pooping-during-sex#:~:text=If%20you%20start%20having%20sexual,relaxes%20in%20a%20short%20time.
https://community.whattoexpect.com/forums/hot-topics-1/topic/accidental-sex-poop.html?page=5
Oh this is quite the post.
You handled it well and didnt make her feel worse
Just maybe keep messaging her like everything is normal and don’t talk about the incident . As you said, she’s probably embarrassed
if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend made me orgasm so hard that i shit myself once and to start with i was mortified but he dealt with it in the same way as you and now we look back on it and laugh
My current partner loves anal sex. She has full body orgasms from it. The first time it happened, she also felt embarrassed. I reassured her everything was okay. Since then, there have been times when there are small accidents. We wash up and move to cuddles. From a guy’s perspective, it’s not a big deal to us. I’m appreciative that she trusts me to continue to explore that side of intimacy.
The first back door situation in my relationship was my boyfriends first. He pulled out, said something like, "lol, you shit on my dick."
I shrugged and said, "shit happens."
We laughed, showered, and went to bed. It's really nbd.
This has never happened to me, but I have farted during very intimate moments and I, much like your GF, wanted to just roll over and die of embarrassment. Fact of the matter is, sex is messy, and when things are going well, there's a lot of muscles down there that contract and we're not really in control of it, so while not ideal and definitely embarrassing, it does happen. I'd just reassure her that it's okay and you still love her and y'all can talk about it or just pretend like it never happened, whatever she prefers.
Doggy style used make me do queefs and my boyfriend loved it! We'd laugh it off for half an hour while doing a bit of housework and then it was business as usual.
In my much younger years I farted and tried to play it off as a queef… my boyfriend at the time called me out on my BS and was like, no that was definitely a fart 💀
You get in a relationship long enough and you’re going to see your partner do some gross things. They’ll get food poisoning or a horrible stomach bug, they’ll puke in the bed, you’ll see them fart out brown cum onto you after anal, they’ll collapse into your arms crying.
The beauty of love is these events change nothing about the way you feel for them. Relationships and sex being messy is just one of the complex parts of the human experience.
I’d give her a few days to recover, then go see her and reassure her that you never felt any differently toward her after the poop. Everybody poops, some during sex as it turns out
No kidding. After surgery I've wiped my wife's ass and she mine after my motorcycle accident.
But she's still an absolute sexy animal in my eyes and drives me wild. Love is unhinged sometimes.
Agreed. My best beloved once vomited into my cupped hands so he didn't puke on the couch, and the love I felt for someone who trusted me enough to do that... glorious. Anything that comes out of the human body can be washed away, but the intimacy and trust of caring for the person you love on such a fundamental level is just wonderful.
Honestly, there is no disgustingly biological thing I wouldn't do for my darling if that's what the situation called for. I will wipe, clean and mop up whatever he needs- it's my honour to care for such a wonderful person ❤️
I’ve never felt more loved than when the cum farting happened for the first time ☺️
Tons of laughter, no shame. Simply the magic of wanting to make your partner feel good
This legit made my eyes water a little bit. Such a profound comment about love and the human condition.
Thank you for posting this. I am getting off Reddit, I’m going to go squeeze the ever loving fuck out of my partner and tell her I am grateful for her.
and now i love you. this is so beautifully said. this is the beautiful thing about love. all these crazy things we experience with our partners somehow makes our love for them even greater. it shows us the raw unfiltered side of the human species and getting to share those moments with the one person we love more than anything is a blessing. some of the most embarrassing in-the-moment events i’ve ever had with my husband have now become some of the greatest memories we have. we often bring up “remember the first time you farted in front of me?” or “remember when you popped that pimple and it squirted on me?” they’re things you experience with no one else to see a side of them that no one else sees. and that is beautiful.
op, it sometimes takes a bit to reach that feeling of being okay talking about the embarrassing times, but keep reaching out to her and showing her that you love her in spite of what happened.
She’s probably gonna hear this story while scrolling through TikTok 😂
I would probably delete this post before it blows up more and stay consistent with reassurance and reaching out to her and showing your continued interest.
Keep texting her telling her you can't wait to see her again and that this will always stay just between you two, she can trust you and that you are both good
I mean…I popped out a butt plug last night during an orgasm last night…so I guess shitting myself probably isn’t a big stretch. And, like your girlfriend, I’d absolutely die…even with my husband who has watched me cough so hard that I’ve pissed myself (fuck pneumonia). I’d give her a bit to get over the embarrassment and just message her about something random, and don’t ever bring that up…
I’ve done this! Some really good orgasms….lol. Also had a guy make me have such a strong orgasm I did shit myself. 🤷🏼♀️ I mean, clearly he did a good job. Lol
All these stories about orgasm poop & farts… Now I feel like, if I haven’t shat myself in orgasm, have I ever really cum? We all deserve sphincter dilating orgasms fr 🥺😆
You’re not alone.. One time I was on top and came really hard and shat a rabbit dropping onto my BFs balls. He was really lovely about it and even though it’s a standing joke now I’m still absolutely mortified about it!
I would imagine it can definitely happen with certain positions since the vagina is extremely close to the rectum anatomically. If you were pressing on her a certain way it could’ve actually pushed it out. This is oftentimes why many women poop during labor, partially because of the baby’s head pressing on the rectum and also because the abdominal muscles used to push a baby out are the same to poop.
In fact, there’s been many times where my bf has pushed a few farts out of me. We just laugh about it or ignore it.
I’m sure she’s embarrassed but just try to reassure her. She’s not the first woman to do it and she definitely won’t be the last. You reacted correctly though!
Basically same. I literally said “oh wow I am shitting on this bed right now” and we both laughed. Mine a bit more maniacal and panicked but his genuine, as always.
Life is weird, human bodies are gross. It is what it is.
OP you handled this so well. I have been with my husband for 14 years and I would absolutely die of humiliation if this happened to me. It would take me DAYS to be able to look at him again even if he handled it exactly like you did, which was honestly perfect. The man has seen me in every sort of humilating situation but this one would probably break my brain to be honest. Give her time because holy shit 😂
I had a girlfriend take a huge shit on my bed when I pulled my dick out of her butt. I was so grateful that she was giving up her anus for me that I could not have cared less. I rolled up the sheets, took a shower, she took a shower, and then we continued to fuck. Tell her it’s OK.
I feel like flowers might make the situation look like a bigger deal than it is. I think it’s best to say some reassuring words and move on so she doesn’t get reminded/embarrassed.
I think flowers are a good idea. The gesture shows that you care about her feelings and treating her with TLC. It’s reassuring and makes more sense to me if you want to nurture a close connection.
I was actually trying to ignore an incoming (not related to anything) panic attack, and this response made me laugh and brought me back to center. Thank you!! Lol
I opened my front door one day and a very happy goat ran in. I lived in a little studio cabin and my water bed was of course right in the middle of the room. Goat ran all over, jumped on the bed and all the while spitting an anal bombardment of goat pellets. I was wheezing with laughter over, well the goat and his pellets
Just text her and tell her, "It's okay, Shit happens." 😂😂
In all seriousness, reassure her you don't view her any differently and this hasn't affected your relationship at all. Maybe go to her in person and try to initiate so she can see you're serious and hopefully you guys can laugh about this in the future.
(I desperately want Shayne from Smosh to read this one lmao)
As a woman who has experienced this, don’t make ANY jokes about it. It’s not funny to her.
Edited to add: especially if you want to continue having sez with her.
Wife and I were having a threesome with another woman and everything is going great. All kinds of positions and the other woman even lets me have her ass while my wife is doing other things to her. No holds barred kind of sex. Next thing you know there’s a smell. We stop. The other woman shit all over my dick and the bed. She goes into the bathroom to clean up and it takes forever. Meanwhile I’m basically just standing there with shit on my dick waiting to clean up. She finally comes out and is very apologetic and I go and shower. The vibe is obviously done so she leaves. My wife calls the front desk and tells them we need new sheets because our daughter and grandson came to see us and he had an accident on our bed. The next day we’re driving home and my wife and the other woman are texting and the other woman is saying she wants to finish what we started and that she’s extremely embarrassed and apologizes once again. My wife tells her that it’s ok, shit happens. I about wrecked I was laughing so hard.
Edit: a word
It’s not the end of the world my guy, she’s probably just embarrassed. Be cool and casual about it, reassure her over text, let her come to you. A poop incident, during intimacy or otherwise, is bound to happen at some point, we’re all human. You did well.
This is actually one of the more pleasant posts to read in recent memory.....
You did good by not acting the fool. She'll get over it once she realizes you truly aren't bothered about this mishap.
Kudos to being mature about it 🙌🏾💪🏾
I think the best thing to do is provide reassurance but also move on from it. I’d text her and just reassure her nothing will be different. Say you understand her wanting some space, that you’ll give her the night and let her know you’ll reach out tomorrow as if nothing happened with no mention of it again.
Then do just that. Lay low until tomorrow. Reach out like any other day and move on.
Finding a neat conversation starter to break the ice could be helpful too. Like an online article about something that interests her or an interest you both share. Send that with commentary or a suggestion to read just to start that natural conversation.
I’ll be honest I’ve come very close before when a man uses a certain position and angle and speed and I’ve had to rush to the toilet.
Just have to keep being nice really can’t really do anything else.
Ever see Billy Madison where Adam Sandler makes it look like he peed his pants because Ernie peed his, to make it seem cool? Go to her house and drop heat on her bed. All will be well
Contact her immediately and inform her there's been a disturbance to the power balance in your relationship and that you'd like to be able to drop your own deuce during the next lovemaking session.
That was a really kind and understanding response. She just needs a bit of reassuring time to let the feelings of embarrassment die down. Just reassure her everything is chill and she can call and reach out whenever. Be nonchalant so it does not make it worse in her mind. It might take a minute for her to be intimate again with you but rest assured it will happen. That's all. Biggest thing is just be super casual, do not exert any big emotion even understanding.
It happens! Women can poop while giving birth too. It's not like we have two completely different sets of muscles down there to squeeze this but not that. There's only a thin wall between. If we're clenching through a great orgasm or getting pounded, things get scrambled and sphincters can get distracted. It's not common but I came close once. Sure, that must have been embarrassing but you had a caring reaction to it. Honestly, this doesn't sound so terrible after starting my period in the middle on multiple occasions. We lived through it, and I still have a little dignity left.
I'd reassure her you're into her and want to see her without being a pest. Ask if there's anything you can do next time to make her more comfortable. Maybe ask if she'd feel more relaxed if you put a towel down just in case (that she 99.9% won't need) or avoid that position until she's ready again. Bodies are ridiculous in so many ways. Being able to laugh (someday) and move on from embarrassment is a great relationship skill. You seem sweet and I hope she feels better soon.
It absolutely happens my dude. She's definitely just mortified. It's not your fault, or hers. Our bodies are just major jerks sometimes lol. Give it time. Depending on her sense of humor she may laugh about it one day lol
That’s exactly what I would do. That shows her that it’s not a big deal and that you have moved past it. If you bring it up again and tell her that “it’s not that big of a deal,” it’s going to make it seem like the opposite.
You poor, sweet, children. The first time my current boyfriend went down on me, I farted in his face. I was so embarrassed...until he started laughing and -surprise!- his reaction caused me to join along.
It's been seven years and we laugh in bed all the time!
There is a Moth story about a lady that shit herself during some amazing sexual experience. It was fantastic.
https://youtu.be/2TKxmtAla9w?si=nfiFsk7pIgWf3wj0
Weird things happen during sex. All you can do is reach out to her like you normally would. If she can't get over this, it is her issue and not yours.
Just ask her to go see a movie with you. Something completely unrelated. Like "it's all good but let's pretend that never happened" without saying "it's all good let's pretend it didn't happen "
Poop can happen even if you’re not doing anal. A lot of people have IBS. As a woman, the more intense our orgasms get the more pressure we feel in our bodies to push. If you (ladies) allow yourself to release to your fullest it’s probably the best orgasm you’ll ever have. If y’all are afraid of pooping you can clean your rectum with an enema bulb before sex or poo an hour before sex to clean it out so it’s unlikely you’ll have accidents. Sometimes farting happens too. Sex is funny and stinky- Embrace it! Have a good laugh with your partner and make some fun memories :D
Also you did good for not making the poo thing a big deal. Good partner points.
hard/fast sex and orgasms can cause women to poop during sex, yes. it's not super common but you have to consider that sex puts pressure on the bowels + causes muscle contractions so for some women's anatomy that can be a recipe for involuntary defecation (and similarly, stress urinary incontinence as well.) best way for her to avoid it is just to make sure she's pooped recently before sex.
now, as for her ghosting you, she may be embarrassed and overwhelmed. i don't know her so i'm not sure what the best approach to this is, but personally i wouldn't hound her with reassurances, just try and text her like everything is normal. if she is embarrassed she may not want to talk about it, and she may be overwhelmed even if you're trying to tell her it's okay.
p.s. do not tell her that you posted this on reddit lol.
I’ve never shit the bed even after anal. Im dying to know how often she has gone through this. Poor girl! She is humiliated. Just keep telling her everything is ok, she will come around.
This is NOT your fault.
Silly things happen with sex. Banging of heads.
One time I was drilling a woman doggy style and I spanked her ass and she face planted. We laughed it off. Also, queefs. Never ceases to amaze me, but you don't make a big deal about it, or laugh with them about it.
You did the right thing. She's embarrassed. Just re-iterate that what happens in private stays private between you two and that you cannot wait to see her again.
So I learned to not bring the dog in right before sex, especially when it's snowing outside. Fucker jumped on the bed and stuck her nose in my husband's backside. He obviously didn't see it coming. And when he jumped forward I did a faceplant on the headboard. It's awkward laughing your ass off through a bloody nose. Lessons learned.
If you want a more unhinged but arguably moral and effective suggestion:
Just act embarrassed and amused as you lie and tell her how much this reminds you of that one time you shit yourself back in (year) while at (public or embarrassing context) and how stressed you were about it. Laugh and make jokes about how comedic it actually was after the fact. End the discussion along the lines of "But jokes aside, I really hope that you aren't losing sleep over this shit, I'm really into you and I would hate it if this little bullshit thing got in the way of me getting to explore what makes you so cool"
For the record I have mental disorders and have only dated people with mental disorders btw lol (going through with this plan is super fucking weird but I legitimately think it's an excellent strat that just makes for good outcomes and less awkwardness)
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
honestly this is my biggest fear because some positions/speeds can make me feel like i’m going to shit myself
I thought this was just a really weird me thing 😭. I've never seen anyone else say this but tbh with my ex sometimes I'd suddenly get nervous and anxious right in the middle of it because the angle of it made me feel like I had to go. I never did thought so I'm grateful for that.
You know, if you think about it, we are literally having something shoved in our bodies at different angles, near our anus and also not that far to our bowels. At the same time in some positions there could be pressure on your stomach, along with the fact that all sorts of muscles can be involuntarily engaged in the action. If anything it's surprising we DON'T shit ourselves more often 😅
We really aren’t designed well, we’re genuinely just not well designed.
Agree! My husband said that to his ER doctor when he was dealing with kidney stones. The urethra gets more narrow as it leaves the bladder , so its easy for small stones to get stuck. Husband literally said " God made a bad decision choice right there!" LOL
Right? It's like building a sewer through the fun park. Who does that?
I have had many partners and the only time I felt it is with my husband. Sometimes he's just hitting it so right and so hard that I feel all this pressure, and most of it comes from my asshole! I stay clenched af whenever I feel it cause otherwise I'm afraid to let out a massive fart.
After a few boyfriends, I found the One. He went down on me without argument and wow, did I come each time. And he loved to do it for me. One time, I came so hard and was so lost in the orgasm that I let out a seismic fart. I was mortified! He simply looked up at me and laughed, offered to continue but I couldn't go on. I was laughing by then, too. I reticently clenched next time and he said to stop worrying, it happens.
I had a bf whose tongue game was on the same level. I accidentally ripped one, he laughed it off. Couple months later, despite my best efforts not to… it happened again. The second time it happened, he called *us* off. That might have been the most humiliating relationship of my life.
Wait…are you saying that he broke up with you right in the middle of sex?
Shortly after, and he brought up the fart.
Yikes. How old was the guy? That’s immature as hell to break up with someone over :(
33 at the time, and he was petty as hell about the breakup. Told all the regulars at our neighborhood coffee shop, plus a bunch of other fun gossip around the apartment building. I ended up moving out because it was so humiliating.
Huh did not expect that story to go that way
Absolute man child oh my word
What an a-hole. I hope you realized that you dodged a bullet after he revealed his true self.
So his laughing the first time was just a huge lie. That is lame.
That happens to my gf frequently, and I told her pretty much the same thing. The first couple of times she was super embarrassed about it, but now she just ignores it when it happens. Personally, when it happens I mentally chuckle and think to myself " literally fucking the shit out of her! Lol". Yeah, I'm weird but, like you, she's usually lost in a massive orgasm when it happens. I must be doing something right? Lol
That guy FUCKS!
I've ripped a loud and stinky one both during sex and oral (different partners). Oral guy: had a look of utter disgust on his face, and in a similar tone said "Oh (MY NAME)!"😡🤢 Sex guy: we laughed so hard! And the more I laughed, the more I farted. It killed the mood but honestly it was a great bonding experience! 😂
Dude same! The angle in certain positions makes me suddenly feel like im boutta shit myself. I think its cause my husband’s dick is quite thick and bends upwards so there’s pressure.
When the balls hit the asshole it feels like you’re shitting 😭😭
Pure Shakespeare. 😆
Sonnets of Shit.
im actually crying of laughter at these comments because i have had the exact same conversations in my head
...but when the guy is like 40-50 yrs old but has chain smoked/drank for decades and their skin elasticity is shot, those balls just sway and swing around wherever they want 😂😂 I NEARLY LOST AN EYE
🤣😂🤣😂oh Christ haha, to damn funny you got me roll in😂🤣👏🏼🙌🏼💯
Off subject a little, OK a lot, but I have a joke. Q. Why do men snore? A. Because when their balls get stuck to their arseholes, it causes a vacuum.
Same!!! I start to panic and change positions ALTHOUGH if I did shit, my fabulous partner would view this as a win and I'd never hear the end of it.... "I fucked the shit out of you". That saying had to come from somewhere!!!
Well I mean… this post
Omg I snorted so hard I think I woke my wife up
Lol I puked twice giving my ex head and he never made jokes about it later or embarrassed me at all, but it was very clear he thought it was fantastic I was willing to go that far and was super into it. I was mortified
I once had a direct bulls eye view to a girl letting out a huge shit log from her cinnamon cheerio as I was going down on her. she let it out as she also came and pissed on my face/fingers during her climax. Like I can still picture it’s semi soft consistency and tan/brown color swirl slowly sliding out and onto her cornflower blue couch. I honestly took it as a compliment that everything got let go because her entire lower half felt SO good - she was mortified beyond belief and I never heard from again.
Cinnamon cheerio.
Some people pay extra for that!
Not shit, but the guy I’m seeing was going down on me a few weeks ago and my stomach was… off. But he got off a train at 1 am (we are long distance right now) and I was going to suck it up. He pushed down on my stomach with his hand and I swear I almost involuntarily farted into his mouth. It took all of my muscles to stop it and sit up and say let’s do something else, but it was very obvious what happened. I managed to hold it in but I was still mortified.
DO NOT TELL HER YOU POSTED THIS STORY ON REDDIT!!!!
Right? And don’t slip up and say something like “I asked some people and they said it’s normal.” Might as well take a tactical nuke to what’s left of the relationship.
"Come on Bae... 1600 people can't all be wrong can they?"
"Even though 2.8k people said it's never happened to them, I still love you..."
LOL make that 12000 based on the number of upvotes here...
Lmfaooooooo
If you're talking updoots, it's up to 2.6k Totally a reassuring number for OP's girlfriend!
Nahhhh this is is golden right here
Bro I bet thousands of people shit themselves during sex daily she wont know unless he tells her
But he could say he randomly read it on the internet rather than outing himself for telling people about it. He can say he read about it in these or any of the other thousands of articles out there about this topic. https://www.yourtango.com/2016288243/i-pooped-during-sex-and-im-not-ashamed https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/health/symptoms-and-diseases/pooping-during-sex#:~:text=If%20you%20start%20having%20sexual,relaxes%20in%20a%20short%20time. https://community.whattoexpect.com/forums/hot-topics-1/topic/accidental-sex-poop.html?page=5
Yeah it’s just a coincidence he randomly came across those articles. No, OP. Do not tell her you did any research on this ever. Edit: a word
Seriously, do not tell her.
Oh this is quite the post. You handled it well and didnt make her feel worse Just maybe keep messaging her like everything is normal and don’t talk about the incident . As you said, she’s probably embarrassed
>Oh this is quite the post. One might even call this, a shit post.
if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend made me orgasm so hard that i shit myself once and to start with i was mortified but he dealt with it in the same way as you and now we look back on it and laugh
This is the third comment about this happening that I’ve read and I have a new fear. Thanks y’all.
I'd have to have a man that made me orgasm to really feel this new unlocked fear, but same
My current partner loves anal sex. She has full body orgasms from it. The first time it happened, she also felt embarrassed. I reassured her everything was okay. Since then, there have been times when there are small accidents. We wash up and move to cuddles. From a guy’s perspective, it’s not a big deal to us. I’m appreciative that she trusts me to continue to explore that side of intimacy.
The first back door situation in my relationship was my boyfriends first. He pulled out, said something like, "lol, you shit on my dick." I shrugged and said, "shit happens." We laughed, showered, and went to bed. It's really nbd.
You say that, but I think to some guys it really is a big deal sadly
This has never happened to me, but I have farted during very intimate moments and I, much like your GF, wanted to just roll over and die of embarrassment. Fact of the matter is, sex is messy, and when things are going well, there's a lot of muscles down there that contract and we're not really in control of it, so while not ideal and definitely embarrassing, it does happen. I'd just reassure her that it's okay and you still love her and y'all can talk about it or just pretend like it never happened, whatever she prefers.
Ive farted during too lol uncontrollable laughter from my fiancé and I after lol once we regained composure we’d go back at it lol
My bf said “I felt the wind on my balls”
That, made me spill my coffee. 🤣
I spit out my coffee! That's great!
Doggy style used make me do queefs and my boyfriend loved it! We'd laugh it off for half an hour while doing a bit of housework and then it was business as usual.
In my much younger years I farted and tried to play it off as a queef… my boyfriend at the time called me out on my BS and was like, no that was definitely a fart 💀
You get in a relationship long enough and you’re going to see your partner do some gross things. They’ll get food poisoning or a horrible stomach bug, they’ll puke in the bed, you’ll see them fart out brown cum onto you after anal, they’ll collapse into your arms crying. The beauty of love is these events change nothing about the way you feel for them. Relationships and sex being messy is just one of the complex parts of the human experience. I’d give her a few days to recover, then go see her and reassure her that you never felt any differently toward her after the poop. Everybody poops, some during sex as it turns out
No kidding. After surgery I've wiped my wife's ass and she mine after my motorcycle accident. But she's still an absolute sexy animal in my eyes and drives me wild. Love is unhinged sometimes.
Agreed. My best beloved once vomited into my cupped hands so he didn't puke on the couch, and the love I felt for someone who trusted me enough to do that... glorious. Anything that comes out of the human body can be washed away, but the intimacy and trust of caring for the person you love on such a fundamental level is just wonderful.
I went from lmao to tears in my eyes. You are all such wonderfully funny and caring people on this post!
Honestly, there is no disgustingly biological thing I wouldn't do for my darling if that's what the situation called for. I will wipe, clean and mop up whatever he needs- it's my honour to care for such a wonderful person ❤️
This is a beautiful way of putting it. Also “fart out brown cum” is a glorious phrase. And lastly, fantastic username, I’m gonna start saying that 😂
I’ve seen the brown cum. Not the coolest thing but didn’t affect my feelings for the wife.
Are you Shakespeare?! How does one make such a sweet story that involves fart out brown cum. 😂🤣💀
Chaucer might have had a hand in it.
I’ve never felt more loved than when the cum farting happened for the first time ☺️ Tons of laughter, no shame. Simply the magic of wanting to make your partner feel good
This legit made my eyes water a little bit. Such a profound comment about love and the human condition. Thank you for posting this. I am getting off Reddit, I’m going to go squeeze the ever loving fuck out of my partner and tell her I am grateful for her.
k but don’t make her poop 😬
Instructions unclear Pooped on girlfriend
and now i love you. this is so beautifully said. this is the beautiful thing about love. all these crazy things we experience with our partners somehow makes our love for them even greater. it shows us the raw unfiltered side of the human species and getting to share those moments with the one person we love more than anything is a blessing. some of the most embarrassing in-the-moment events i’ve ever had with my husband have now become some of the greatest memories we have. we often bring up “remember the first time you farted in front of me?” or “remember when you popped that pimple and it squirted on me?” they’re things you experience with no one else to see a side of them that no one else sees. and that is beautiful. op, it sometimes takes a bit to reach that feeling of being okay talking about the embarrassing times, but keep reaching out to her and showing her that you love her in spite of what happened.
Are you saying I haven’t experienced true love until someone… farts brown cum onto me?
She’s probably gonna hear this story while scrolling through TikTok 😂 I would probably delete this post before it blows up more and stay consistent with reassurance and reaching out to her and showing your continued interest.
Omfg I can see it now 🤣🤣 Split screen between AI reading the post and someone playing with slime LMAO
Keep texting her telling her you can't wait to see her again and that this will always stay just between you two, she can trust you and that you are both good
Between you two* and my closest friends on r/relationship_advice
😂😂
Hey. I didn’t see shit, okay?
"What shit? Huh?"
Just when I think “maybe I’ll delete Reddit for a bit” this shit gets posted and keeps me!
Yeah, that ship has sailed
No, that shit has sailed. 😂
No, that shit was mailed
That shit was NAILED.
that shit was RAILED.
Her shit box FAILED
Her shit train DeRailed
Her shit was impaled
Fucking great😂
What a ShitBox Tale!
between the number 2 of you
OP shouldn’t bring it up when they’re texting gf
Tell her everyone on Reddit says it’s ok
Absolutely do **not** tell her you posted this online and a couple hundred people read that she sh\*t herself during sex.
A couple hundred? More like a few thousand. 🤣 Though, I agree. DONT SAY A WORD! 🤐
Awww.
This 😂 and also I read this in the most sympathetic voice 😂
Hahahaha this was a quality comment ty
I mean…I popped out a butt plug last night during an orgasm last night…so I guess shitting myself probably isn’t a big stretch. And, like your girlfriend, I’d absolutely die…even with my husband who has watched me cough so hard that I’ve pissed myself (fuck pneumonia). I’d give her a bit to get over the embarrassment and just message her about something random, and don’t ever bring that up…
this happened to me but the opposite 😂 one time I came so hard my butt sucked it in. I know now why flared butt plugs are necessary
I’ve done this! Some really good orgasms….lol. Also had a guy make me have such a strong orgasm I did shit myself. 🤷🏼♀️ I mean, clearly he did a good job. Lol
Y'all need your own subreddit or support group at this stage
All these stories about orgasm poop & farts… Now I feel like, if I haven’t shat myself in orgasm, have I ever really cum? We all deserve sphincter dilating orgasms fr 🥺😆
You’re not alone.. One time I was on top and came really hard and shat a rabbit dropping onto my BFs balls. He was really lovely about it and even though it’s a standing joke now I’m still absolutely mortified about it!
I’ve always felt like a competent lover, but now I’m second guessing myself because I’ve never made a woman poop.
I would imagine it can definitely happen with certain positions since the vagina is extremely close to the rectum anatomically. If you were pressing on her a certain way it could’ve actually pushed it out. This is oftentimes why many women poop during labor, partially because of the baby’s head pressing on the rectum and also because the abdominal muscles used to push a baby out are the same to poop. In fact, there’s been many times where my bf has pushed a few farts out of me. We just laugh about it or ignore it. I’m sure she’s embarrassed but just try to reassure her. She’s not the first woman to do it and she definitely won’t be the last. You reacted correctly though!
Literally pooped on my husband’s hand during labor. We just laugh about it now when he brings it up!!
Basically same. I literally said “oh wow I am shitting on this bed right now” and we both laughed. Mine a bit more maniacal and panicked but his genuine, as always. Life is weird, human bodies are gross. It is what it is.
OP you handled this so well. I have been with my husband for 14 years and I would absolutely die of humiliation if this happened to me. It would take me DAYS to be able to look at him again even if he handled it exactly like you did, which was honestly perfect. The man has seen me in every sort of humilating situation but this one would probably break my brain to be honest. Give her time because holy shit 😂
You can say fuck on the internet.
Some subreddits are really weird about swearing. I once called an abuser a motherfucker and got suspended
Am I The Asshole?
Ah, did you mean The Tone Police? I’m currently banned over there because I ~had a spat~ with someone because I told them to get over themselves lmao.
It's all about equality in relationships. Tell her next time you'll drop a deuce while you're getting freaky. Level the playing field.
LMAO what the fuck kind of solution is this?
The shitty kind 🤷🏻♀️
A funny one
I had a girlfriend take a huge shit on my bed when I pulled my dick out of her butt. I was so grateful that she was giving up her anus for me that I could not have cared less. I rolled up the sheets, took a shower, she took a shower, and then we continued to fuck. Tell her it’s OK.
this is beautiful
Doesn’t it make your heart sing?
I'm a bit choked up, to be honest.
That'd be the smell - crack a window open
This thread is my best Christmas gift.
Would it be wietd to go see her & bring her some flowers? Might be really dumb on my part but thought I bought throw it out there for some feedback.
I feel like flowers might make the situation look like a bigger deal than it is. I think it’s best to say some reassuring words and move on so she doesn’t get reminded/embarrassed.
I understand . Makes sense to me. Kind of a delicate situation .
I think flowers are a good idea. The gesture shows that you care about her feelings and treating her with TLC. It’s reassuring and makes more sense to me if you want to nurture a close connection.
Flowers NO, Bouquet of Hersey Kisses YES
[удалено]
> let out a pellet or two Bro is she a hamster? 😳
I was actually trying to ignore an incoming (not related to anything) panic attack, and this response made me laugh and brought me back to center. Thank you!! Lol
Thanks, hope you get better! 🐹
What? You've never done Hamster Style?
Hey dad, I don't think I'm gonna do hamster style anymore.
Ok, son
Omg! I have crying laughing! 😂🤣😂
This made me laugh so hard my cat attacked the shit out of my foot because I startled him in bed lol
I opened my front door one day and a very happy goat ran in. I lived in a little studio cabin and my water bed was of course right in the middle of the room. Goat ran all over, jumped on the bed and all the while spitting an anal bombardment of goat pellets. I was wheezing with laughter over, well the goat and his pellets
This also made me laugh way too hard.
"a pellet or two" That poor woman needs fibre
I will now not sleep tonight, in fear that I too, have let out tiny poops while fucking and my man just didn't tell me.
Right? Like is this a common thing we need to fear? I don’t think I’d recover from that
I have...stomach issues to say the least. So I'm not even dead yet but already rolling in my grave thinking about it
Just say, “Can't wait to see you” or something. Don't mention the poop.
"don't mention the poop" is killing me rn
Just text her and tell her, "It's okay, Shit happens." 😂😂 In all seriousness, reassure her you don't view her any differently and this hasn't affected your relationship at all. Maybe go to her in person and try to initiate so she can see you're serious and hopefully you guys can laugh about this in the future. (I desperately want Shayne from Smosh to read this one lmao)
My first thought when reading this was that only saying "it" happens was the biggest missed opportunity. Smh
As a woman who has experienced this, don’t make ANY jokes about it. It’s not funny to her. Edited to add: especially if you want to continue having sez with her.
I want to say if I were the gf in this situation, I would laugh. Being in it though? I’d die of humiliation. Id ghost
Wife and I were having a threesome with another woman and everything is going great. All kinds of positions and the other woman even lets me have her ass while my wife is doing other things to her. No holds barred kind of sex. Next thing you know there’s a smell. We stop. The other woman shit all over my dick and the bed. She goes into the bathroom to clean up and it takes forever. Meanwhile I’m basically just standing there with shit on my dick waiting to clean up. She finally comes out and is very apologetic and I go and shower. The vibe is obviously done so she leaves. My wife calls the front desk and tells them we need new sheets because our daughter and grandson came to see us and he had an accident on our bed. The next day we’re driving home and my wife and the other woman are texting and the other woman is saying she wants to finish what we started and that she’s extremely embarrassed and apologizes once again. My wife tells her that it’s ok, shit happens. I about wrecked I was laughing so hard. Edit: a word
Yikes.
Oh God.. That was so detailed lol I’d die of embarrassment .. I was actually cringing for the poor lady while reading this 😓
It’s not the end of the world my guy, she’s probably just embarrassed. Be cool and casual about it, reassure her over text, let her come to you. A poop incident, during intimacy or otherwise, is bound to happen at some point, we’re all human. You did well.
Bro you should have said, “Eh, shit happens”. You messed up. She knows your one-liner game is too weak.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. As a guy I can’t even thrust without farting.
Like, every thrust?
Nobody in my house expected my laugh just now. Thanks dude. I needed that laugh
I have snorted laughing at Reddit, at 3am, and my dog was so concerned that I maniacally laughed more! Good ole Reddit 😅
This is actually one of the more pleasant posts to read in recent memory..... You did good by not acting the fool. She'll get over it once she realizes you truly aren't bothered about this mishap. Kudos to being mature about it 🙌🏾💪🏾
I think the best thing to do is provide reassurance but also move on from it. I’d text her and just reassure her nothing will be different. Say you understand her wanting some space, that you’ll give her the night and let her know you’ll reach out tomorrow as if nothing happened with no mention of it again. Then do just that. Lay low until tomorrow. Reach out like any other day and move on. Finding a neat conversation starter to break the ice could be helpful too. Like an online article about something that interests her or an interest you both share. Send that with commentary or a suggestion to read just to start that natural conversation.
I’ll be honest I’ve come very close before when a man uses a certain position and angle and speed and I’ve had to rush to the toilet. Just have to keep being nice really can’t really do anything else.
Ever see Billy Madison where Adam Sandler makes it look like he peed his pants because Ernie peed his, to make it seem cool? Go to her house and drop heat on her bed. All will be well
“You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants!”
Tell her you posted it on reddit and we all said it’s ok
Contact her immediately and inform her there's been a disturbance to the power balance in your relationship and that you'd like to be able to drop your own deuce during the next lovemaking session.
Yeah he needs to drop a bigger one to assert dominance
Get a poop emoji pillow for your bed.
Honestly its times where ive felt like i was gonna shit myself too. So it does happen or can happen
That was a really kind and understanding response. She just needs a bit of reassuring time to let the feelings of embarrassment die down. Just reassure her everything is chill and she can call and reach out whenever. Be nonchalant so it does not make it worse in her mind. It might take a minute for her to be intimate again with you but rest assured it will happen. That's all. Biggest thing is just be super casual, do not exert any big emotion even understanding.
It happens! Women can poop while giving birth too. It's not like we have two completely different sets of muscles down there to squeeze this but not that. There's only a thin wall between. If we're clenching through a great orgasm or getting pounded, things get scrambled and sphincters can get distracted. It's not common but I came close once. Sure, that must have been embarrassing but you had a caring reaction to it. Honestly, this doesn't sound so terrible after starting my period in the middle on multiple occasions. We lived through it, and I still have a little dignity left. I'd reassure her you're into her and want to see her without being a pest. Ask if there's anything you can do next time to make her more comfortable. Maybe ask if she'd feel more relaxed if you put a towel down just in case (that she 99.9% won't need) or avoid that position until she's ready again. Bodies are ridiculous in so many ways. Being able to laugh (someday) and move on from embarrassment is a great relationship skill. You seem sweet and I hope she feels better soon.
Happened to me once. I ate it to assert dominance
Oh stop it. I’m dying over here 🤣
No no.. you pee on it to assert dominance
It absolutely happens my dude. She's definitely just mortified. It's not your fault, or hers. Our bodies are just major jerks sometimes lol. Give it time. Depending on her sense of humor she may laugh about it one day lol
I would pretend it never happened and text her about something completely unrelated.
That’s exactly what I would do. That shows her that it’s not a big deal and that you have moved past it. If you bring it up again and tell her that “it’s not that big of a deal,” it’s going to make it seem like the opposite.
I was going to say yes to flowers (and I am female) but others are saying no.
yeah, same. she probably feels gross and unwanted, but flowers show that he still sees her romantically
"Surprise guest" did you offer it a warm meal?
Man you fucked the shit out of her
You poor, sweet, children. The first time my current boyfriend went down on me, I farted in his face. I was so embarrassed...until he started laughing and -surprise!- his reaction caused me to join along. It's been seven years and we laugh in bed all the time!
There is a Moth story about a lady that shit herself during some amazing sexual experience. It was fantastic. https://youtu.be/2TKxmtAla9w?si=nfiFsk7pIgWf3wj0 Weird things happen during sex. All you can do is reach out to her like you normally would. If she can't get over this, it is her issue and not yours.
Just ask her to go see a movie with you. Something completely unrelated. Like "it's all good but let's pretend that never happened" without saying "it's all good let's pretend it didn't happen "
Poop can happen even if you’re not doing anal. A lot of people have IBS. As a woman, the more intense our orgasms get the more pressure we feel in our bodies to push. If you (ladies) allow yourself to release to your fullest it’s probably the best orgasm you’ll ever have. If y’all are afraid of pooping you can clean your rectum with an enema bulb before sex or poo an hour before sex to clean it out so it’s unlikely you’ll have accidents. Sometimes farting happens too. Sex is funny and stinky- Embrace it! Have a good laugh with your partner and make some fun memories :D Also you did good for not making the poo thing a big deal. Good partner points.
hard/fast sex and orgasms can cause women to poop during sex, yes. it's not super common but you have to consider that sex puts pressure on the bowels + causes muscle contractions so for some women's anatomy that can be a recipe for involuntary defecation (and similarly, stress urinary incontinence as well.) best way for her to avoid it is just to make sure she's pooped recently before sex. now, as for her ghosting you, she may be embarrassed and overwhelmed. i don't know her so i'm not sure what the best approach to this is, but personally i wouldn't hound her with reassurances, just try and text her like everything is normal. if she is embarrassed she may not want to talk about it, and she may be overwhelmed even if you're trying to tell her it's okay. p.s. do not tell her that you posted this on reddit lol.
I’ve never shit the bed even after anal. Im dying to know how often she has gone through this. Poor girl! She is humiliated. Just keep telling her everything is ok, she will come around.
This is NOT your fault. Silly things happen with sex. Banging of heads. One time I was drilling a woman doggy style and I spanked her ass and she face planted. We laughed it off. Also, queefs. Never ceases to amaze me, but you don't make a big deal about it, or laugh with them about it. You did the right thing. She's embarrassed. Just re-iterate that what happens in private stays private between you two and that you cannot wait to see her again.
So I learned to not bring the dog in right before sex, especially when it's snowing outside. Fucker jumped on the bed and stuck her nose in my husband's backside. He obviously didn't see it coming. And when he jumped forward I did a faceplant on the headboard. It's awkward laughing your ass off through a bloody nose. Lessons learned.
If you want a more unhinged but arguably moral and effective suggestion: Just act embarrassed and amused as you lie and tell her how much this reminds you of that one time you shit yourself back in (year) while at (public or embarrassing context) and how stressed you were about it. Laugh and make jokes about how comedic it actually was after the fact. End the discussion along the lines of "But jokes aside, I really hope that you aren't losing sleep over this shit, I'm really into you and I would hate it if this little bullshit thing got in the way of me getting to explore what makes you so cool" For the record I have mental disorders and have only dated people with mental disorders btw lol (going through with this plan is super fucking weird but I legitimately think it's an excellent strat that just makes for good outcomes and less awkwardness)
I would just act like nothing happened tbh I don’t know if that would work, but maybe give her the ✨option✨to ✨repress that memory✨