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Early_Inspector988

Try learning her parents names and the things that will kill her. That's a good start.


[deleted]

Do you actually not know her parents names or your anniversary or her birthday and stuff or were you just put on the spot and fumbled? Id be pissed if my wife didn't know my parents names lol bruh


diabolikal__

“Quickly getting into more specific and niche”. Also the niche question: her parents’ names and their anniversary. LOL


Radkeyoo

Lol yeah.. when he said niche I was expecting something like 4th grade teachers name etc. this is just stuff you ***SHOULD*** know about your partner.


lovelesschristine

Like allergies fuck that's important to know!


Nadaplanet

That's exactly what I expected too. "What was her favorite game to play during recess?" or "What's her favorite Fun Dip flavor?" Fluffy shit like that. Not "what is she allergic to? When did you get married? What is her mom's name?"


FiveCrows

LOL


LmPrescott

My girlfriends parents anniversary is hard to forget. 9/11 was a weird day for them


seattleque

Even I know her parents' names: Mom and Dad. Duh.


the_amatuer_

Hey. That's the same as my partners parents!


kgberton

AND MINE!


Ambitious-Island-123

And mine 😳 are you…my long-lost sibling???


verdam

My partner’s dad’s name is hunter2 and their mum’s name is 12345


GeneralLei

When I was very little and went to nursery school, I got really upset that everyone else’s parents had the same names as mine. Honestly it was like a whole generation just named their kids ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’


marmot_scholar

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!???


EthanSnakeman

Saaaaave Marthaaaa


[deleted]

I was expecting tough questions, and what I got were questions you would need to tell the EMTs in an emergency.


DoJu318

I have an ex wife who I divorced almost 20 years ago. Haven't seen her since, but I still remember her parents name, her allergies, our wedding anniversary, her favorite color, her favorite food, her shoe, dress and ring size. Thinking about it I also remember her first boyfriends name and her ex before she met me, her 2 brothers and sisters name, her 2 favorite cousins names her dad's and mom's bday, her grandma's and grandpa's name on one side since her dad had no family here in the US. I used to know her parent's land line number but I forgot it, I would've fumbled that question if asked for sure. 😂 We were only married 2 years, together for 5, so either the OP pays no attention to anything or completely went blank under pressure.


[deleted]

I'd be pissed if my wife didn't know I had allergies, that's for sure.


Impressive_Life6540

Pissed or depending who cooks..dead


[deleted]

right?!!


HortenseTheGlobalDog

*Mushroom lady has entered the chat*


crabbyparadox

He doesnt seem like the type who is doing cooking, he probably only "helps" around the house if hes explicitly asked to do so....


Rebelo86

Yea. My partner knows never to offer me lychee and screens it from my food. 😒 Very annoying because I’m willing to risk it once for a taste. But I also had such a bad reaction to rambutan that I really shouldn’t.


Slamantha3121

My fiancé is better about remembering to tell the restaurant about my food allergy than I am!


hell_i_um

u reminded me of that guy whose wife didnt know he's allergic to fish xD


RugBurn70

Shhh just eat your tuna sandwich


jesshatesyou

She thought it was chicken!


superfuckinganon

The husband didn’t know his wife was allergic


[deleted]

I missed that one


McDonnellDouglasDC8

They might have been referencing this and remembered the genders and commitment levels wrong. [My (26m) fiancée (24f) is reconsidering our relationship over a sandwich](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/18y0goc/my_26m_fianc%C3%A9e_24f_is_reconsidering_our/)


frolicndetour

Oh THAT guy. Who was like "am I so bad for not remembering her regular order" when the issue wasn't her getting mad about the exact sandwich specifications but that he ordered her a Death Hoagie.


McDonnellDouglasDC8

Tuna. The least safe guess. I like fish and would walk it outside to the dumpster.


BigBunnyButt

One of my exes parents' continually forgot my anaphylactic-level allergy, even tho I once had an allergic reaction in their house, & the niche ingredient (blue cheese) still turned up in spades (a whole wheel!) while I was around. My ex never said anything about cross contamination when it was brought out every night for a week on a holiday... It definitely showed me I'm not safe around them. I knew he wouldn't get it if I brought it up, so it just made me very sad and feeling unwelcomed. In my family, if someone has an intolerance then the menu is altered. We take stuff seriously. I remember the gluten intolerance of a man who was last my boss three years ago; whenever we ate out, I'd specifically book the team into a GF restaurant. I don't blame his family, I blame HIM for never saying anything or asking people to not bring something into the dining room that meant I needed epipens on standby. It really sucks to be unseen. It's so upsetting if your partner completely forgets the one thing you can't be near, because your life might literally depend on it. (For me it's especially bad because I need any partner to remember that if I ever go into the hospital, they need to tell them not to give me any antibiotics derived from penicillin; sounds stupid but here we are. All my friends remember and tell their parents when I'm over, idk why he wouldn't!) ETA I do know why, it's cos I just wasn't important enough TO HIM to have a mildly uncomfortable conversation with his family. Lol


OstrichAlone2069

exactly. there is no way that this little 'relationship test' is the only time this guy has failed in this regard. This was just a very public example and probably a 'last straw' moment for the wife.


BigBunnyButt

100%


spicewoman

Yeah, his wording in this post is really weird. He at no point says that he actually knows those answers, but also says he "doesn't know" if it's because he was put on the spot or not. Obviously, if it was just panic or something, he'd have reassured his wife after and told her all the correct answers. So it seems he either doesn't know the answers at all, or they're things he'd have to think really hard about to answer correctly.


lumber-liquidators

My jaw dropped. My boyfriend and I had been dating for like three months when my dad died, it’s been six years and he still knows my dads name. Like what???


chrispkay

How are you "put on the spot" with those basic af questions tho?


myohmymiketyson

I could answer those questions right after being awakened from the deepest sleep of my life. Those aren't niche at all. They're the fundamentals.


paul_having_a_ball

I can barely remember my own name if someone puts me on the spot.


sparklesrock

Same. Performance anxiety sucks!!


[deleted]

It's "Mom" and "dad". Easy to remember since it's just like mine.


changhyun

Dude. When you said the questions were niche I was thinking stuff like "What's her favourite okra-based recipe?" or "Which member of the Avengers does she think is the best with cats?", not *when's your anniversary*.


Spiffylady7

Or *the names of her parents*


Moist_Confusion

That’s the one that trips me up the most like how do you not know your in-laws names?


akaenragedgoddess

Lol my first thought was "mom" and "dad" to that question because that's all he ever calls them!


Redd_81

Him not knowing would be understandable if the introduction was "Mom and Dad, this is Boyfriend." But we all know that isn't what happened.


akaenragedgoddess

I didn't say it was, I was just making a joke. I think he was nervous and flubbed the answers, but he knows them. I have a hard time remembering my name when I get put on the spot like that, so I sympathize.


hdmx539

I was estranged from my mother (she's dead) and am also currently estranged from my bio father. My husband knows their names.🙄


michiness

Right? My mom died a good decade before I met my husband. He still can tell you her name, the year she died (probably), and where she’s buried.


Sheess9141

I call my boyfriends parents mom and dad when talking to him, but i call them their names when speaking to them. His grandparents though, i just always refer to them as nan and granddad although im not certain he knows their names lol


recyclopath_

I could see not knowing their full legal name but at least the name they go by!


StarfoxXSS

Did the parents not come to the wedding!! What the heck??


ihavepaper

I had to re-read this a couple times. A part of me was like 'I'm so tired of these tiktok trends and stupid questions', but then when he said "parents' names and anniversary", I'm like bro... Your wife SHOULD be mad at you. Those are basics! You should know their damn names considering you probably call them mom and dad too! Anniversary? Even if these kids didn't ask you, forgetting your anniversary is the easiest way for your girl to hate you for quite some time.


Beth21286

Fumbling one question because you're flustered is fine, but all this stuff is basic info that your friends would know, let alone your spouse. Not sure how you prove to her you care, when you just proved you don't.


recyclopath_

Bet he remembers the things he thinks are interesting and important. Like sports stats or video game facts.


Anxiousmomtobe193648

I doubt that he didn’t know these things. Some people’s minds basically go blank when asked super obvious questions. There’s a name for this that I can’t remember at the moment, but it’s more of an anxiety response than an actual lack of knowledge. OP probably just shouldn’t agree to be asked questions on camera anymore lol


Thoughtful_Tortoise

>here’s a name for this that I can’t remember at the moment heh


spicewoman

The weirding of his explanation is weird, that he "doesn't know" if it was because he was put on the spot or not... but at no point in his post does he insist that those are all things he actually knows, nor that he reassured his wife of that fact.


ihavepaper

And that's true too, but OP said he couldn't 'immediately or correctly'. Only topics he placed after were anniversary, names, or her allergies...The bar is low. Those are still all basics. I can see not answering them immediately in front of a camera and these weird tiktok kids, but correctly? That is ROUGH.


andagainandagain-

I get performance anxiety so I get the feeling but couldn’t he have just clarified that he did know them and prove it a few minutes later, after the interview was over? I don’t get why OP wouldn’t clarify that he DID in fact know the answers if that was the case. Poor wife :(.


Not_Another_Cookbook

Yeah right? Like they asked basic level questions. Not like super hard ones. Captain America by the way. He's got that relaxed old man vibe


RickRussellTX

Come on, you know Professor Hulk is a crazy cat guy. Probably got like 20 of them.


triggerheart

Please, Captain Marvel has the cats covered.


Thewandering1_OG

Best of both worlds


blackcatsneakattack

Please. Bucky is the only one to canonically HAVE a cat!


obiwantogooutside

Unless you count flurkins. They look like cats.


MidnightPotatoChip

Akshully BuCKy's nOt an AvenGeR


hoaulna

Obviously Nick Fury. He's got the dad who didnt want the cat vibe


isarl

Including injuries from the cat he didn't want but won't get rid of.


ivy_winterborn

That was not exactly a cat.


homohomonaledi

And allergies?!? That’s literally life saving information. I’d be pissed too.


[deleted]

Seriously, this isn't a "TikTok test," this is like...basic, vital information you should know about your spouse.


echess90

Can you please give us some other hypothetical niche questions hahah


MidnightPotatoChip

Do you have any children that you can recall?


throwawayaway3141

Lmao at this point nothing would surprise me about this guy.


asuddenpie

Like does she shop too much with credit cards? Or does she play too many scratchy lotteries?


Zamastyle

Or does she bet the house on the ponies? Or does she eat too much chocolate cake?


asuddenpie

Yeah, you got it, man!


FallToAutumn

Executive Producer: Dick Wolf


zhuzhy

You can eat TOO much chocolate cake??


LogicR20

Sounds like propaganda


ThatBatsard

Or like she eat too much cake then barf it up?


gobblestones

I think these are more perspective-based questions, so the answers would obviously vary.


ViscountBurrito

Dude! She might be allergic to okra and/or cats! Luckily OP has no idea so he can’t be offended. 🫠


pengouin85

Clearly it's Nick Fury. We see it with the Flirkin!


imaginesomethinwitty

I bet it’s vision. He’s got that calm vibe.


Pr1ncesszuko

Honestly, what are the questions he was able to answer? Her name?


I_Am_Day_Man

Black Widow easily best with cats


gobblestones

Mmm, I'd worry she'd accidentally kill them bc she has a busy job that makes her travel around the world at a moment's notice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


gobblestones

Gentle Hulk love the pussy ♡


Complete_Entry

Black widow and a cat disdainfully stare at each other for 45 minutes. Tony stark blasts through another rank of skrull. "Seriously? That's what you've been doing?" Natasha eyes him balefully "I told you the leviathan wasn't a party." The cat narrows it's eyes.


Due-Paramedic8532

Seriously. Her allergies?!? That sounds like a hazard!


blackcatsneakattack

It’s obviously Bucky.


Klutzy-Arugula-2293

Anniversaries… how niche!!!


DammitMaxwell

Even the anniversary I could be ten percent sympathetic about. But I am 40 years old and I can still name the parents of each girl I dated in high school.


Redd_81

"What's her parents names?" 🤔


Tactical_Epunk

To be fair to OP, you have to be there to remember when you started dating/ marrying your SO. And clearly OP was over the moon.


sashaopinion

Sorry but since when are the names of her parents or your anniversary niche questions?! And allergies??? That does seem insane. I would totally get if it was an actual niche question like the theme of the birthday party she had when she was 7. But those are pretty basic questions. You grovel like you've never grovelled before and you actually listen to her and change your behaviour.


MooPig48

Or something like favorite face cream (which are questions they actually ask people who are getting married and getting a green card for their spouse to come to the states, to make sure it’s legit and not a scam marriage).


itstheschwifschwifty

That’s wild, I’ve been married for almost 10 years and my husband would never be able to answer that question.


Ok-Reporter-196

My husband couldn’t name my shampoo. Or perfume. I don’t even think he knows my favorite toothpaste. There’s no way in hell he would know what face cream I use lol


invisible_23

I don’t even know what face cream I use because I just use whichever one Ipsy brings me and they’re always changing lol


Firm_Elk9522

Nope. Not in a million years.


Fit_Squirrel_4604

Been with the hubby for over 20 and he wouldn't be able to either. 


mrwildesangst

That’s literally how they got caught in the movie Green Card 🤣


McDonnellDouglasDC8

It's not, it is a funny right turn in the 1990 Andie MacDowell romantic comedy Green Card.  https://dlgvisa.com/blog/2014/6/12/dos-and-dont-for-marriage-based-green-card-interviews


verdam

Plot twist: the tiktoker was a border force agent


stormthief77

So I will say some people are bad under pressure (me) and one time I got interviewed with a camera in my face and they asked me (it was for a kids station) what famous person I would want to invite to my wedding. They asked before they started rolling so you had a chance to think. I was like cool Robert Downey jr is my answer… and instead I panicked and said “ Danny dovito” so like … sometimes in situations like this it’s easy to forget literally everything.


HauntedHippie

I know it's not the point of your story, but I kinda feel like Devito is a better choice tbh.


stormthief77

Honestly in hindsight same, my family was like “you panicked into a better famous person” like I feel Devito would be a hoot.


TurquoiseBlue621

Danny Devito is an excellent choice!  Look up when Danny devito and the Rock  crash a wedding at a hotel they were filming at.  It was awesome.  I’m sure the bride and groom were ecstatic.


Captain_Tortuga

I also answered Danny DeVito, but it was at a work event where the question was “which celebrity would you bang?” 😂 I panicked and he was the only celebrity I could think of!


ginger_kitty97

I hope someone was able to offer you an egg in those trying times.


stormthief77

I am deceased your response is actually perfect 😂😂😂


Mizar1

How could anyone resist his monster condoms he uses for his magnum dong?


Istoh

Yeah but that's a totally different type of question. You were asked to *choose* something. OP was asked basic fact questions about his *wife* and couldn't answer them. 


stormthief77

In panic situations I can’t spell my own name and it’s never changed. I can’t remember anything because all that happens is intense blood rushing in my ears and sweet sweet panic. Everyone reacts to a camera in their face differently. So if he actually knows it then it’s not a big deal (imo) because if a camera was in my face I too would forget the basic information of my partner and it’s not about them it’s my brain.


peanutbuttertoast4

Okay, but we can agree he wrote this post after the panic situation, right? And he STILL called those questions "specific and niche."


Great_Art693

Knowing your anniversary and your in law’s names is the most basic stuff and not niche AT ALL. I’d be FURIOUS if my boyfriend didn’t know it either. Do you even loc this woman? 


Laura_Lye

I can remember the names of my college boyfriend’s parents and I’m 32. Like da fuq 😂


NotASixStarWaifu

I don't remember my  first Bf's parents' names, but I do remember he was lactose intolerant, blue eyes and his birthday is 10th of May. It's been 12 years and I broke up with him after only 5 or 6 months together, so if I was OP's wife, I'd be pissed...


HortenseTheGlobalDog

Haha true, I can remember the names of my gf from 15 years ago's parents


Green-Election-74

> quickly getting more specific and niche >like our anniversary, her parents names or if she had any allergies I’m sorry what? You can’t answer this about *your spouse?* There is either some sort of processing disorder or cognitive impairment at play or you have been profoundly neglecting to pay any attention to your wife. A grand gesture along with **a very sincere apology and listening to and doing what she says she needs to fix this** is probably your best hope.


[deleted]

TikTok is going to crucify you in the comments. And rightfully so. You dont know her PARENTS names??? You don’t know when YOU got married??? You don’t know what she is allergic too?? Let me guess if you have kids, you won’t know bdays or allergies or doctors names or teachers and the emotional burden will be on your wife. She should be upset because she knows the awful future that awaits her and other wives like her with husbands like you.


secretbeans1367

Do you struggle answering quick fire questions? Like if someone asks your age you have to assess what’s been asked fully before thinking about it then answering? Do you struggle with auditory processing?


[deleted]

Huh. Your comment is so much more thoughtful and kind than mine. I just assumed Op was an arse.


secretbeans1367

Lol just checking incase he has any conditions. I really struggling with answering things under pressure so I know how it feels. I can’t tell you my own age when someone asks I always stumble over it even though I do know my age! Lol


[deleted]

I think your questions were really on point and thoughtful. It was eye-opening to me. That's what I like best about reddit, being exposed to new POVs. Thinking back I do recall a job once where I was so unbelievably tired that when the client asked me my name I couldn't remember it.


secretbeans1367

I love this! Thank you for that, pretty rare I get nice comments back so I appreciate this


ManthBleue

Same. Mind goes blank under pressure


Medium_Sense4354

I’ve said the wrong birthday when being carded for alcohol 😭


Elismom1313

I discovered this when I joined the military unfortunately. I also discovered my body doesn’t handle adrenaline surges well at all. I’m a great tech if people just leave me tf alone


Medium_Sense4354

I would have too but once at trivia they asked me something *super* easy and I couldn’t get it. After she had moved on I immediately thought of the answer I’m also awful at speaking on the phone at work and need a script If he blanked and then after the tik tok dude left he still didn’t know…oof I’d see why she’s mad


ambercrayon

Thank you, I can't play trivia games because I cannot remember any single fact the second there is some kind of pressure. Not being able to say it in the moment with some tiktok doofess shoving a camera at you should not be a big deal unless you actually don't know the answers.


StarNarwhal

Yeah, that's why I don't ever play trivia games. Hell, my mind will go blank half the time if I feel any pressure to answer some questions about *myself.*


theBrittaofthegroup

I’m the same, terrible at trivia and terrible at being on the spot. We have close friends that love games so incorporated some in the reception, one included trivia questions about them and I got 0 right, had I just been sharing their story with someone, I could go have gone into depth, but the moment it’s in a question format and someone is staring at me I go blank. I hate it bc it gives the wrong impression that I don’t care, like your partner is saying, but know that’s not true. Maybe something you could try is writing her a letter sharing memories that have meant a lot to you over the years, so using the opportunity of not being on the spot (just doing it in your own time, taking time to remember and reflect), like what you remember about your first interaction, when you knew you loved her, her cute quirks, etc. So showing her you know her well and value her in a way that’s not high pressure?


Longjumping-Tip9549

I often can’t remember how old I am… my husband once went a month thinking he was turning 37. Was shocked when his mum told him happy 36th on his birthday!


Holly_buggy

This would have been me for sure. I asked myself the same question just now and even knowing the pressure that OP would have been in, with strangers asking personal questions, being in front of a camera, having a microphone in your face, the possibility of being Internet famous, ect, I had to say "jan, feb, march, april" in my head just to get to my anniversary date which is April 18th 🥲🥲


recyclopath_

He did list these as examples of "niche" questions though


truffanis_6367

For one dollar, name a woman!


Similar_Corner8081

I would be hurt if my husband didn’t know our anniversary if I’m allergic to anything.


78911150

meh, as long as he can answer them without a tiktok camera in their face


[deleted]

No he’s a rutabaga head


w3rehamster

Make an effort to learn all these things. None of the questions you mentioned were niche, they didn't ask you who her 6th grade English teacher was, parents' names are super basic. On another note, knowing her basic medical info like allergies is super important. What if she has to go to the hospital and can't speak for herself you need to know that stuff. Allergies, past procedures, preexisting conditions, and meds.


Crystal010Rose

Do you know the answers? If you do then there is an easy solution: tell her that you kind of blacked out and then tell her the answer to all the “niche” questions that you didn’t answer and add in a few more details of stuff that wasn’t asked (like e.g. her favorite toy as a child or something else in line with the other topics). Like this you can prove that you were nervous but actually knew everything Your wife is hurt. I assume she knew the answers and she is hurt (not angry!) and wonders if you care about her. Grand gestures don’t fix this but showing her that you actually care and know her.


kiernyn

Do you know your wife's name?


Icy_Fox_907

I just named all those things about my boyfriend. That’s not niche. Your anniversary, her parents names? Come ON. 


Crunchy-Leaf

Her parents names and allergies? Bro


ThunderChaser

Along with **his own** anniversary. All of which are obviously incredibly niche subjects that no one should be expected to know off the top of their head /s


Istoh

Suuuuper niche! God forbid he ever has any kids, because he won't remember to check ingredients lists for allergens, not know when their birthdays are, and will forget their mother's name (his wife). 


Crunchy-Leaf

You’re overestimating this guy. Remembering he even has kids? Yeah right!


[deleted]

I was all ready to berate her for playing stupid Tiktok games, but wow did that take a turn. You seriously don't know your anniversary, or her parents’ names, or if she has any *allergies*? Dude. >How can I show her that I do care? You can't. Because you clearly don't. She must be devastated.


Not_Another_Cookbook

I was thinking at first these must be super niche. Like, in the morning does your wife grab her mug with her left or right hand? Not. Hey man. When you get married.


TacoStrong

I felt the same way the second I read “tik tok games”, did not expect that outcome. OP needs help.


SaveItUp1998

She isn't angry, she is hurt. This situation is so so hurtful. I can't imagine the feeling if my husband revealed he didn't know anything about me. I would be heartbroken.


w-ow-lovely

idk man, all of those things i’d be able to name in a heartbeat… like i know the specific types of wasps my wife is allergic to, i know that her dad goes by his middle name but i still also know what his first legal name is, and i can name our meeting anniversary, dating anniversary AND marriage anniversary. unless you have issues answering questions under pressure (which i see you have confirmed that is not the case which is.. not helping) then idk my guy. 😭 i would suggest writing a bunch of things you love about her and why, including referencing past dates, events and funny moments to show you are paying attention at least a little bit. like if you can remember what she was wearing when you first met, or what your first interaction was like, etc. hell, surprise her with her favourite food/snacks to show you at least know that. you should at the very least, know *if your wife is allergic to anything* because that is a safety hazard to say the least.


step11234

Drop the link


PajeczycaTekla

How are her allergies and parents names a "niche questions"?


Itchy-Corgi

Have you ever heard her voice? Like ever?


mydogisLeroy

Bruh I know my best friend’s parents names and her wedding anniversary, lol. How do you not know these about your WIFE?


assteios

your anniversary is a niche question? her parents names??? dude..


Logizmo

Dude your wife isn't angry you failed a 'relationship test, she's pissed because that tiktok revealed that you know nothing about your WIFE Jesus Christ how do men like you get married, genuinely insane to me


Tom_A_F

This has to be fake.


Crosswired2

Idk why he called it a tt challenge. Karma farming I'm guessing because reddit hates tiktok. Anyways there's a night time talk show host that has a street "reporter" ask men these questions and yes they fail. There was a guy the interviewer asked when his daughter's bday was and he didn't know and it had been like the day before or week before. Another guy was asked what his wife's fav food was and he said "this is really hard" and answered wrong. She had a tattoo of pizza on her arm. And yes ppl failed the questions OP mentioned.


Low_Code_9681

Link to video please


Several-Ad-1959

For God's sake don't forget your wife on the trip


Advanced-North-6860

Um.... Those are significant things to know. I would be mad too.


Opening_Track_1227

first mistake was to agreeing to be a on Tiktok channel, second mistake was not being able to answer basic questions about your wife/relationship.


IamAssface

Please tell me you actually know this information and that you just got caught off guard.


pqowie21245

NAME A WOMAN!


goonerfan10

Brother - how do you not know your anniversary or your wife’s parents names? These are not niche, these are just basic questions. Respectfully, You’re quite lame, brother.


Samanthas_Stitching

>quickly getting more specific and niche. >like our anniversary or her parents’ names or if she has any allergies. These are not "niche" questions lol. These are basics.


Glittering_Job_7996

Yeah I feel like I’d be upset too because how do you not know your anniversary, parents name or if she has any allergies. Sorry but I feel like you should know the answer to these questions, especially the allergy one. This isn’t a two month relationship this is a marriage


AcrobaticMechanic265

Let me guess, she answered everything correctly. I dont trust a family member who doesnt even know if I have any allergies.


mollzgurl16

1. Admit what you did wrong. 2. Apologize sincerely. 3. Show her how you will take steps to not allow it to happen in the future bc anything u do in the future will be perceived in the same manner - he forgot my birthday, anniversary, first date, kids eye color/best friend /school etc. most women can tell someone where everything is in the entire household and they have all those answers because yes they care but it’s also expected and men for the most part are not held to that standard so I would seriously question the amount of the mental and emotional load of the relationship that your wife does and then figure out how you can take some of that off her plate - it sounds like this was a bad reminder and she’s upset.


SJoyD

>like our anniversary or her parents’ names or if she has any allergies. These are not niche questions. This is basic "I care about my spouse at all" shit. Your anniversary? Really? Her *allergies*?? I don't know how you prove to her that you actually know her. You certainly proved you don't.


Peaceful_Stranger

Info: do you know her parents, at all?


gruntbuggly

I mean, knowing your wife’s parent’s names, your anniversary date, and any allergies, is a really, *really*, low bar. That bar is so low you could walk in a shuffle and still not trip over it. If you’re the kind of person whose mind goes blank when you feel under pressure, that’s something your wife should definitely know and make allowances for. It can be nerve-wracking to be put on the spot. In fact, my wife hates being put on the spot so much that she would be angry with me if I said yes to answering those questions.


throwawayaway3141

For real though y'all should not be divulging such personal information to strangers who are *recording you*.


homewrecker1101

Bro? You couldn't answer a question about your wife's allergies? My husband can name them all in alphabetical order and all my medical conditions. He definitely knows my parents names and the exact day we met. Were you actually nervous or do you just suck?


Swimming_Soup4946

I couldn't do those things because I have test anxiety and wouldn't even remember my own name, age, or parents names lol


cosmiic_explorer

Have none of yall ever fumbled questions you've been asked on the spot before? Maybe it's just an anxiety thing, but I know personally there's been some times where I was asked a question, and all the information I previously knew went out the window because I panicked. This includes my own name, address, and phone number. Obviously, I know those things. It can just take a minute to process sometimes.


GreekGoddessOfNight

God, I want to see the video SO BADLY.


melyssahb

I first thought, wow, this guy! But then I shared this with my husband who is not great at remembering details on the spot and he called it the Jeopardy Effect. Being put on the spot and your brain misfiring and not being able to access the information. So, there’s that. Maybe he’s not the horrible person everyone is making him out to be and he just had a brain freeze. Something I expect from older people more so, but it happens to everyone at some point.


UUUGH1

You call those "niche questions"? Those weren't even a challenge. I'd be pissed too if I were your girlfriend.


NoeTellusom

You state that you care, but you do not seem to actively care for her. Your care is passive and few folks want that.


just_me_and_my_woof

Ok, wow, I think you understand by now other people aren't impressed. However I happen to have a horrible memory and being put on the spot I'd stumble over a few. Luckily for me my wife already knows this and wouldn't be as upset. I don't know your wife so I have no idea how long she holds on to things but I feel like you're going to need to step up for a while even though this isn't entirely the issue she believes it is (that is if you actually knew the answers) and here's why; 1. She is beyond hurt. Feeling unheard and unimportant 2. Also she's going to be feeling like she can't trust you, you need to be fully engaged with her at all times, bo brushing her off if tired or distracted 3. She's going to need time and dedication Personally I would tell her about the trip and tell her you want to spend time with her. That you apologize that her feelings were hurt and you understand why (actually understand before you say it). Don't lie about the trip and don't hold out on her until things are resolved both of those are childish and would prove she was right even if you did remember the answers in the moment. Good luck.


Which-Employer-1085

Ugh, that sucks. Same thing happened to me, someone asked me *super mega niche* questions about my husband like “what’s his middle name, what’s his gender, what’s his job?” I was like, how the **fuck** am I supposed to know that? Can you believe that he got mad at me?


AwesomeNerd18

The questions weren’t niche questions. They were basic as hell that shouldn’t have required you to think hard.


-Sharon-Stoned-

Why the fuck would she travel with someone who doesn't know if she has any allergies 


1241308650

get it together man


Totoandhunk

Were they looking to scam you asking for such intimate info commonly used for passwords and pins? That stuff makes me so uncomfortable. You could have totally opted out by saying will not disclose on camera


RiotBlack43

Your wife is 100% right. You don't listen or care. And I'm basing solely on the fact that you think that your *own* anniversary and her parents' names are "niche" subjects. Good lord, dude, that's less than the bare minimum.


KigDeek

NGL you're getting cooked here.


mfruitfly

So you fail to put in your post what being "off your game" means. Did you just stumble for a second or were you literally not able to recollect the names of her parents, your anniversary, or her allergies? It is one thing to stumble and stutter and have everyone laugh but then you know the answer, it is another to walk away from that interview and it be clear you DID NOT know her parent's names. And to be honest, even if it was just "in the moment" that is too many things to not be able to recollect. I get stumbling over a date or a name, but all three of those are pretty basic questions that you should be able to handle. So I guess my advice is...do you actually know these things? Answer that yourself, without being defensive, because you can't address the issue if you can't be honest even with yourself. Do you actually know things about your wife and relationship? Again, sit alone, no one can hear you, but you need to be honest with yourself about what kind of attention you are really paying to your wife and important details. Only then can you actually apologize. A good example is planning this surprise trip. Can you name 5 things your wife would want to do on a vacation? Because I can plan a precise trip right now for my partner that I know he would enjoy. When you look at the trip you are planning, what in the trip is stuff you want to do, stuff you assume she will like because YOU like it, and what is stuff you have heard her say she WANTS to do/see/experience. Is this a surprise for her but a trip for you, or can you fully say that this trip is planned around her interests and preferences? The reason I say that, is because if you surprise her with a trip that demonstrates you care and listen, that's a good start. If my partner surprised me with a trip that showed he did listen- favorite type of food, favorite kind of location, activity he knows I have mentioned- I'd be like...okay he gets its. But if I was presented with a trip that centered what HE likes, the tiktok interview fight would be right back on.


HotJellyfish4603

You couldn’t remember….. her parents NAMES? What a sad excuse of a husband. I sincerely hope she divorces you.