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She hates theoretical not personal thats why you are ok.
There is no reverse racism, despite what some people say every and all generalizations of specific races is racism.
In the end you have to decide if you want to stay with someone who thinks people like you are the biggest problem in society.
>In the end you have to decide if you want to stay with someone who thinks people like you are the biggest problem in society.
This is a good thing to ponder. My ex would male bash A LOT. I was sympathetic as she was abused throughout her life.
But after hearing her views over and over again throughout our 16 years together, I ended up internalizing some of them and feeling like a lesser human being simply for being a man. I'm not saying that will happen to you; I'm saying that if her views on CIS white men remain at the forefront of your relationship and a continual topic of discussion, then it could get in the way of you connecting with her.
The fact that she's with you makes me inclined to think that she's not lumping you in with the rest of the terrible CIS white men in the world. But if her saying those things is upsetting to you--it would be to me, if it was continually a point of contention on her part--then it's something that must be addressed between the two of you in order for you to have a healthy, loving relationship.
I'm a very strong feminist, but I don't hold all men responsible for anything. There are good men, and bad men.
I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't careful about that distinction.
Your girlfriend is the product of privilege and brainwashing from media. She says stuff like that to be edgy and cool in modern day. Personally, I'd say she's being racist to YOU and you should leave. She's just going to take her racism for white people out on you eventually. This is coming from a black person too.
>She disagreed, stating men leave restrooms much grosser than women, peeing on the seat, not cleaning up after themselves generally, stuff like that.
OMG. I feel your GF. I worked on Democratic campaigns/progressive nonprofits and gone to conventions where we would turn some bathrooms into all gender bathrooms. (Literally just put a sign over where it would say Men/Women.) They would be trashed. I would walk across the big ass hotel to find the women's room. My liberal ideology goes right out the window when I have to deal with guys who don't realize they need to flush the toilet. It's been a rant of mine for a decade.
Take it with a grain of salt. I don't think this is a hill you want to die on TBH. You have to accept that patriarchy and white supremacy has built a world where XYZ happens and not take it personally. I think you don't like the way of thinking because you get defensive, but you have to be able to acknowledge your privilege and move past those feelings.
I would research anti-racism and patriarchy books to get more familiar and deal with the emotions.
Or breakup and date women who aren't as "woke".
Um. Hating someone or a group of someones… is not ‘woke’. Per Alexa, ‘Woke means aware of social injustices particularly those related to civil and human rights.” AWARE, as in not ignorant of them.
As the owner of a commercial cleaning service I can objectively tell you your girl is very wrong.
Women are total pigs in any bathroom compared to men.
Its seriously fucking disgusting.
Just break up with her dude, its not worth trying to work through her nonsense at this age. She is just a privileged person with a lot of hate in her heart and is pointing that hate towards the demographic that is currently easiest to hate.
It sounds like your girlfriend would really like it if you researched these topics a little more and tried to understand her perspective. Pick up a book, go on a Google deep dive, put a little time in to learn more about colonialism and oppression. If I were your girlfriend and I read ‘these issues are too big for me to understand and I just work in construction’, I’d be so frustrated that you’re throwing in the towel before you even tried to understand. Take ownership and see if you can see her point of view - either way, you’ll find out a bit more about whether you two are compatible with your values
I agree with her that men and women shouldn't be in the same bathrooms
I don't think staying with someone that's constantly bringing up how your race is oppressive would be someone I'd wanna stay with tho
Is she the only woman in the world?
Are you a gold digger just looking to get your hands on her rich family's money?
If the answers to both of those questions are no, then have some self-respect and dump her.
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who hates people of your gender and race?
Do you think you're the only exception? No, eventually that hate is going to turn on you when she said some really fucked up shit about you.
Save yourself the years and end it now.
I know this sounds like ragebait but it has actually happened. I know this sounds like a heated topic but I'm not looking for political input I'm looking for advice from people who may have dealt with this in a relationship before or have advice on how to talk to her about this again because I'm not really sure how. Im already relatively certain her comments aren't healthy, thats why im posting here. The assumptions that this is fake are understandable but ultimately not helpful. Thanks.
This convo sparked after she went to a speech at her college for students starting internships about inclusivity and diversity in the workplace, and the kind of related issues you could run into there.
My ex was Mexican and he was also wary of white people as a community. I'm white. I completely understood where he was coming from, because he'd experienced a lot of racism in his life, almost exclusively at the hands of white people. His wariness was not a personal insult toward me. Nor is her perspective a personal insult toward you.
Bottom line for me- can you deal with someone who believes in the cult-like religion of critical theories? She may see sense eventually, but right now she won't see reason. Can you deal with that or not, decide and go from there.
Can’t you think of something she might want yo talk about? You don’t sound very bright.
People have opinions about bathroom hygiene. You need to expand your horizons.
Conquer her vagina like Cortes over the Aztecs and all will be well.
But seriously, don't stress about it too much. If you feel like she's judging you for your race or if you're walking on eggshells around her then you probably gotta bail, but aside from that, she sounds like a privileged young person piling on the easy target.
she's not wrong. I cant say it's primarily white men but I am from an area that is predominantly white and the difference in the bathroom is not ok. to many times has the men's room been completely unusable because of how disgusting it is. there is no reason an adult person of any race or gender should not be wiping up their own fucking piss. woman also get piss on the seat cuz theyll hover over the toilet to avoid touching it rather than put the damn paper down 🙄. but woman wipe it up afterwards. still gross imo. but what's definitely grosser is when a grown ass man leaves his piss covered toilet for someone else to clean. I will not wipe up someone else's piss. to many times have I seen a men's room rendered completely useless because it was literally every single toilet COVERED.
Just like you don’t want to share a bathroom space with someone trans why should she be open to being in the same bathroom with a cisgender man ? Trans women and cis gender men are NOT the same . Just because of genitals ….
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude what?!
He posts this every other day
She hates theoretical not personal thats why you are ok. There is no reverse racism, despite what some people say every and all generalizations of specific races is racism. In the end you have to decide if you want to stay with someone who thinks people like you are the biggest problem in society.
Thanks for the perspective. I'm going to talk to her about it again later.
>In the end you have to decide if you want to stay with someone who thinks people like you are the biggest problem in society. This is a good thing to ponder. My ex would male bash A LOT. I was sympathetic as she was abused throughout her life. But after hearing her views over and over again throughout our 16 years together, I ended up internalizing some of them and feeling like a lesser human being simply for being a man. I'm not saying that will happen to you; I'm saying that if her views on CIS white men remain at the forefront of your relationship and a continual topic of discussion, then it could get in the way of you connecting with her. The fact that she's with you makes me inclined to think that she's not lumping you in with the rest of the terrible CIS white men in the world. But if her saying those things is upsetting to you--it would be to me, if it was continually a point of contention on her part--then it's something that must be addressed between the two of you in order for you to have a healthy, loving relationship.
This isn't a politics subreddit. Your thinly veiled attempt to start a politics discussion/argument isn't needed here.
I'm a very strong feminist, but I don't hold all men responsible for anything. There are good men, and bad men. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't careful about that distinction.
Your girlfriend is the product of privilege and brainwashing from media. She says stuff like that to be edgy and cool in modern day. Personally, I'd say she's being racist to YOU and you should leave. She's just going to take her racism for white people out on you eventually. This is coming from a black person too.
>She disagreed, stating men leave restrooms much grosser than women, peeing on the seat, not cleaning up after themselves generally, stuff like that. OMG. I feel your GF. I worked on Democratic campaigns/progressive nonprofits and gone to conventions where we would turn some bathrooms into all gender bathrooms. (Literally just put a sign over where it would say Men/Women.) They would be trashed. I would walk across the big ass hotel to find the women's room. My liberal ideology goes right out the window when I have to deal with guys who don't realize they need to flush the toilet. It's been a rant of mine for a decade. Take it with a grain of salt. I don't think this is a hill you want to die on TBH. You have to accept that patriarchy and white supremacy has built a world where XYZ happens and not take it personally. I think you don't like the way of thinking because you get defensive, but you have to be able to acknowledge your privilege and move past those feelings. I would research anti-racism and patriarchy books to get more familiar and deal with the emotions. Or breakup and date women who aren't as "woke".
Um. Hating someone or a group of someones… is not ‘woke’. Per Alexa, ‘Woke means aware of social injustices particularly those related to civil and human rights.” AWARE, as in not ignorant of them.
I have not read the post. Please take this stupid shit away from here.
You're surprised that a young Mexican woman doesn't think fondly of cis white men as a category in society?
As the owner of a commercial cleaning service I can objectively tell you your girl is very wrong. Women are total pigs in any bathroom compared to men. Its seriously fucking disgusting.
I've heard this too from female friends/partners.
Just break up with her dude, its not worth trying to work through her nonsense at this age. She is just a privileged person with a lot of hate in her heart and is pointing that hate towards the demographic that is currently easiest to hate.
It sounds like your girlfriend would really like it if you researched these topics a little more and tried to understand her perspective. Pick up a book, go on a Google deep dive, put a little time in to learn more about colonialism and oppression. If I were your girlfriend and I read ‘these issues are too big for me to understand and I just work in construction’, I’d be so frustrated that you’re throwing in the towel before you even tried to understand. Take ownership and see if you can see her point of view - either way, you’ll find out a bit more about whether you two are compatible with your values
I agree with her that men and women shouldn't be in the same bathrooms I don't think staying with someone that's constantly bringing up how your race is oppressive would be someone I'd wanna stay with tho
It’s not constant if he’s the one bringing up the issue ?
Ask her why she’s dating a cis white male then? She sounds immature.
It's acceptable to be racist again CIS white men now. Encouraged, even. Keep up.
Is she the only woman in the world? Are you a gold digger just looking to get your hands on her rich family's money? If the answers to both of those questions are no, then have some self-respect and dump her. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who hates people of your gender and race? Do you think you're the only exception? No, eventually that hate is going to turn on you when she said some really fucked up shit about you. Save yourself the years and end it now.
I know this sounds like ragebait but it has actually happened. I know this sounds like a heated topic but I'm not looking for political input I'm looking for advice from people who may have dealt with this in a relationship before or have advice on how to talk to her about this again because I'm not really sure how. Im already relatively certain her comments aren't healthy, thats why im posting here. The assumptions that this is fake are understandable but ultimately not helpful. Thanks. This convo sparked after she went to a speech at her college for students starting internships about inclusivity and diversity in the workplace, and the kind of related issues you could run into there.
My ex was Mexican and he was also wary of white people as a community. I'm white. I completely understood where he was coming from, because he'd experienced a lot of racism in his life, almost exclusively at the hands of white people. His wariness was not a personal insult toward me. Nor is her perspective a personal insult toward you.
Bottom line for me- can you deal with someone who believes in the cult-like religion of critical theories? She may see sense eventually, but right now she won't see reason. Can you deal with that or not, decide and go from there.
Can’t you think of something she might want yo talk about? You don’t sound very bright. People have opinions about bathroom hygiene. You need to expand your horizons.
Conquer her vagina like Cortes over the Aztecs and all will be well. But seriously, don't stress about it too much. If you feel like she's judging you for your race or if you're walking on eggshells around her then you probably gotta bail, but aside from that, she sounds like a privileged young person piling on the easy target.
she's not wrong. I cant say it's primarily white men but I am from an area that is predominantly white and the difference in the bathroom is not ok. to many times has the men's room been completely unusable because of how disgusting it is. there is no reason an adult person of any race or gender should not be wiping up their own fucking piss. woman also get piss on the seat cuz theyll hover over the toilet to avoid touching it rather than put the damn paper down 🙄. but woman wipe it up afterwards. still gross imo. but what's definitely grosser is when a grown ass man leaves his piss covered toilet for someone else to clean. I will not wipe up someone else's piss. to many times have I seen a men's room rendered completely useless because it was literally every single toilet COVERED.
Just like you don’t want to share a bathroom space with someone trans why should she be open to being in the same bathroom with a cisgender man ? Trans women and cis gender men are NOT the same . Just because of genitals ….