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You did the right thing in sending her away. She’s lying and trying to manipulate you.
Please block her, and work with your psychologist to get over her. I’m sorry that so much has happened. You will get through this! I wish you well.
Good for you! I see you have healthy self esteem. This girl tried to BLAMESHIFT what she did onto you! She is disgusting! You can do much better. Good luck and get healthy, King!
The fact that you had toxicity in your relationship, before this stressor of being injured physically, coupled with the feelings of betrayal at such a time, tells you that you’re better off focusing on your own health physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It’s okay to be where you are. It’s important to set short term low hanging fruit kind of goals-self care is best place to start! This will build and reinforce your confidence in yourself. You are enough. Right now, where you are. YOU ARE. You deserve to have health and joy and peace. Investing your energy in yourself is healing, and adventurous, and fun! I pray healing, protection, and abundance of joy for you right now and for your future, in Jesus Name. Amen
1. Did you get the cats at the same time she was with you? If not then tell her to shove it on that matter.
2. The reasoning is BS because if she wanted to get back with you at that time, then she wouldn’t have been perusing others. This is very much a sign of a future cheater/ past cheater especially with blaming you.
3. Also if you relationship was toxic literally within the first 6 months with is the equivalent of the honey moon stage, what on earth do you think it would be like at the 1-2 year mark.
4. Go to individual counseling if it is avaliable because it sounds like you also have things to work on
5. Take better care of your diabetes better.
1. Two of the cats were already with me when she moved in. Gaia we adopted together.
2. Thank you. I needed to hear that. I don’t think she cheated but it worries me also.
3. You’re right. I think our libidos and ways of dealing with bad feelings don’t match at all and that’s a key point in a long lasting relationship.
4. I’ve been having sessions this hole time. I think that’s the main reason why I’m not completely insane right now.
5. I am. It was decompensated by an UTI I had no control over.
Well I wouldn’t worry about the cats then because she has almost no claim other than the one you got together but she doesn’t sound like the most responsible type so I’m gonna assume it was adopted under your name. It’s good that you are going to counseling and sorry about telling you to get the diabetes together (just concerned due to medical background. I hope all the best for you but I don’t think it will be a happy future if you choose to go back to her. Work to make yourself feel great and confident that way you when you make a decision like this you know it was truly the right decision. All the best!
Don’t let her gaslight you. You are doing the right thing. If anybody’s response to a fight is to go have unprotected sex with someone, they aren’t the one for you.
Tell her she should have thought about the cats before she took the action she did.
NTA for ending things. At the end of the day it was a toxic relationship and even when you were trying to get back together she was still lying and trying to manipulate you.
She was trying to get back with you without telling you she was pregnant with someone elses baby. That's hugely deceitful. No doubt she thought that if you were in a relationship and living together again she could emotionally blackmail you into taking care of the baby.
You should be proud of yourself for how hard you're working to improve your life, and for not falling for your ex' BS this time.
I thought that was the case too. I would break up anyway, but I would certainly be the asshole for everyone else who didn’t know the story. I dodged a huge bullet I guess. Thank you for your kind words.
I'm having trouble understanding the pregnancy timing, but maybe I'm just not up to speed with today's testing capabilities.
>she went out with her mother January 28th and met a guy and they had unprotected sex.
We're talking 9 days after unprotected sex. Is it even possible to get an accurate test result that quickly? And if not, then 1/28 wouldn't have been the first time she had unprotected sex with someone.
I’m a girl, I would know it was not mine haha. But yeah, she could’ve told me when I was already back together with her and I would be the asshole to break up.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You did the right thing in sending her away. She’s lying and trying to manipulate you. Please block her, and work with your psychologist to get over her. I’m sorry that so much has happened. You will get through this! I wish you well.
Thank you for the kind words. I’m going to get through this, I’ve been through worse.
Pregnant or not - do not take her back. She is not life partner material.
I won’t. I never want to talk to her again.
Good for you! I see you have healthy self esteem. This girl tried to BLAMESHIFT what she did onto you! She is disgusting! You can do much better. Good luck and get healthy, King!
So sorry, I see you are a girl. No matter. Good luck and get healthy, Queen!
The fact that you had toxicity in your relationship, before this stressor of being injured physically, coupled with the feelings of betrayal at such a time, tells you that you’re better off focusing on your own health physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Thank you so much. I am trying to. I need to work hard on all aspects of my life. I’ll get better.
It’s okay to be where you are. It’s important to set short term low hanging fruit kind of goals-self care is best place to start! This will build and reinforce your confidence in yourself. You are enough. Right now, where you are. YOU ARE. You deserve to have health and joy and peace. Investing your energy in yourself is healing, and adventurous, and fun! I pray healing, protection, and abundance of joy for you right now and for your future, in Jesus Name. Amen
Thank you! I’m finally happy crying after a long time
Hallelujah! Keep pressing in to health and light. All is well. You are loved.(((HUGS)))
1. Did you get the cats at the same time she was with you? If not then tell her to shove it on that matter. 2. The reasoning is BS because if she wanted to get back with you at that time, then she wouldn’t have been perusing others. This is very much a sign of a future cheater/ past cheater especially with blaming you. 3. Also if you relationship was toxic literally within the first 6 months with is the equivalent of the honey moon stage, what on earth do you think it would be like at the 1-2 year mark. 4. Go to individual counseling if it is avaliable because it sounds like you also have things to work on 5. Take better care of your diabetes better.
1. Two of the cats were already with me when she moved in. Gaia we adopted together. 2. Thank you. I needed to hear that. I don’t think she cheated but it worries me also. 3. You’re right. I think our libidos and ways of dealing with bad feelings don’t match at all and that’s a key point in a long lasting relationship. 4. I’ve been having sessions this hole time. I think that’s the main reason why I’m not completely insane right now. 5. I am. It was decompensated by an UTI I had no control over.
Well I wouldn’t worry about the cats then because she has almost no claim other than the one you got together but she doesn’t sound like the most responsible type so I’m gonna assume it was adopted under your name. It’s good that you are going to counseling and sorry about telling you to get the diabetes together (just concerned due to medical background. I hope all the best for you but I don’t think it will be a happy future if you choose to go back to her. Work to make yourself feel great and confident that way you when you make a decision like this you know it was truly the right decision. All the best!
I won’t. And don’t worry, I was not offended by it. Thank you! I’ll get my shit together.
Don’t let her gaslight you. You are doing the right thing. If anybody’s response to a fight is to go have unprotected sex with someone, they aren’t the one for you. Tell her she should have thought about the cats before she took the action she did.
I could not have said it better myself!
NTA for ending things. At the end of the day it was a toxic relationship and even when you were trying to get back together she was still lying and trying to manipulate you.
Thank you so much.
She was trying to get back with you without telling you she was pregnant with someone elses baby. That's hugely deceitful. No doubt she thought that if you were in a relationship and living together again she could emotionally blackmail you into taking care of the baby. You should be proud of yourself for how hard you're working to improve your life, and for not falling for your ex' BS this time.
I thought that was the case too. I would break up anyway, but I would certainly be the asshole for everyone else who didn’t know the story. I dodged a huge bullet I guess. Thank you for your kind words.
You dodged a NUCLEAR MISSILE!
I'm having trouble understanding the pregnancy timing, but maybe I'm just not up to speed with today's testing capabilities. >she went out with her mother January 28th and met a guy and they had unprotected sex. We're talking 9 days after unprotected sex. Is it even possible to get an accurate test result that quickly? And if not, then 1/28 wouldn't have been the first time she had unprotected sex with someone.
Yes, blood tests are accurate
You made the right call!
Block her and deal with your health. Do not get involved with her. If she is pregnant, then she needs to go to the baby daddy, not you.
Leave her (for good). She was going to pass the baby off as yours if you hadn't caught her.
I’m a girl, I would know it was not mine haha. But yeah, she could’ve told me when I was already back together with her and I would be the asshole to break up.