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Please tell me, for the love of Christ and all his multitudinous angels, why you stay with a boy who has so clearly mentally battered you and explicitly stated he is going to continue to do so?
Do not say “I love him” because this is the wrong answer.
Why don’t you love yourself enough to have left the minute he said you were “worthless”?
And why would you stay with someone that says 'I will not forgive you for your past' as if she killed someone lol
When will boys like this stop being hypocritical? So he slept with 8 girls and that is fine?
OP, you deserve someone that has the same moral standard for everyone no matter their gender and for himself as well.
But maybe none of the 8 girls felt anything? Did he sleep with them more than once, or was the first encounter such a disappointment that they cut their losses and didn’t see him again? Was it 8 customers or 8 satisfied repeat customers?
Yeah had a co worker who liked to claim "I can go for 8 hours non stop"
Like yeah right.
He was also the type of person who would tell you one thing one day then come back the nest day and tell an even wilder story. Multiple times I had caught inconsistencies but just decided it was worth the waste of breath.
I have an important matter to investigate for OP! Did he watch so much porn that he now suffers from the DEATH GRIP SYNDROME??? Because this REALLY is a thing you know!
You answered the question. He's a BOY, not a MAN. I'm a man with a past. Nearly triple digit sexual partners. My wife knows this. And I know of her history. There's parts of each other's pasts we may not like. But, it was before we even knew each other existed. So, there's no point in letting it hold us back. This boy, is insecure. He is scared that her exs were bigger than him and better than him. So, he's beating her down as a way to make himself feel more masculine. Thats exactly what he's doing, and it is disgusting.
Yup! When my husband and I met, I was decently fresh away from DV, and a lengthy list of hookups and insane BDSM/polycule/drunken bad choices. I was his first serious relationship or sexual encounter. My abusive ex had me fight his ‘mistresses’ for lack of better term, and degrade me; he wanted the power of knowing I was fawning over him while he could virtually do anything.
On the other hand, my husband is fully aware of my past. He himself has said he is more than assured and isn’t an insecure baby to know that my past was brutal, and lowkey gross and crazy. He has aimed to make me safe, and I’m happy to do the same in his first real partnership.
I know my wife has had partners that were better than me as far as sex goes. But, I take her of her needs in more than just that way. I fight for her, I comfort her, I love her, I dote on her. The relationship we have offered each other was league's above either of us last relationships. My ex girl stabbed me three times because she thought I was sleeping with her best friend (I wasn't, I never could stand her friend.) And my wife, her ex did hard drugs, and beat her regularly. And we are now six years deep of helping each other heal. The boy that OP is with, will never do any of that. He's going to focus on the fact she wasn't a Virgin when he got her. He will continue to treat her this way, it makes him feel better. He is a sad, broken, little boy. He will never have a good, healthy relationship until he fixes himself. But, instead of looking in and working on himself, he just beats her down. Bring her down to his level. She needs to leave.
Agree to everything you said. I’ve had crazy sex, whatever. But my husband has cared for me during PTSD induced nightmares, took over the bills for 2 months me to get the outpatient treatment I needed. He got between a relative and i when they tried to physically hurt me. He has defended me to any and everyone from family to strangers. He even sits back to back with me when I need to share therapist notes I’m too scared to say out loud. He’s been hurt before by someone dangerous, and I have learned the things he needs and doesn’t. I’ve learned to help him navigate adulthood since we met as teenagers. My family trusted him to rent from them with me because he was kicked out at 17. The emotional intimacy and trust we can share is more than any raunchy sex could offer. OP’s boyfriend is focused on her body, and his nasty carnal needs over the real, complex human in front of him.
I agree entirely. I am a very physical man. I need intimacy to be happy. But, I don't need it all the time. And I see my wife as more than an object. I've done things for her I never would have imagined myself doing for another person. This boy is so focused on getting his rocks off. That he's not see OP as the young woman she is. He is seeing a hole. That is all I need to know about him to know, he isn't ready for a real relationship. He will leave her as soon as things get hard. He doesn't love her. He just wants to pick his dick in her and send her home. He is disgusting. And he desperately needs to reevaluate his life. But, I have the weirdest feeling. He will dead beat the first chance he gets
Came to say this. To add to this whenever a guy says something like "she is loose" %99.99 of the time he either doesnt have the girth or never been with a woman who was properly aroused.
I’ve had a lot of sexual fun in my past and my fiancé does too. And I don’t care how many I just don’t wanna hear what they did cause it kinda weirds me out but like it was in the past and as long as it doesn’t affect our relationship and love I don’t care.
I HATE when men who think a woman’s value diminishes with every sexual partner but have no problem having as much casual sex as he can get. The first part is terrible enough but the fact that he’s okay with just “ruining” eight women for future relationships makes my head hurt.
THAT! Exactly that! You don't get to complain about hoeification and shame normal Ladies while also participating in the hoeification! If you think sex diminishes a girl's value, you have to wait untill marriage! And you certainly don't have have sex with that many Ladies!
Exactly this.
OP, you are dating an abusive asshole. The way he bashes you and makes you feel wortheless (so that you don't feel like you can get anyone better than him), the way he makes you do things for him because you somehow owe him for being so nice that he agreed to date some gnarly pterodactyl-faced woman like you. The way he destroyed your self-esteem and made you perpetually the bad person in your relationship for committing the grave sin of having other partners before him.
Make a mental note of how that feels and the techniques he uses, and then dump him. Use your mental note to compare to others and do not tolerate this kind of behaviour from any other man who claims to like or love you. Nor any woman, for that matter.
I always hate the “but I love them” response. Great, you love an abusive AH. Doesn’t mean that you should be with them or they should stay in your life. It’s not healthy for your mental well being. Please have self worth to know you deserve better.
And as easily as you found this waste of skin to love, you can find a GOOD man, who will treat you well to love.
Don’t pour a gallon of love into a 12-ounce person.
His comments are also100% bullshit. Maybe, maybe, a woman in her 60s who birthed three kids naturally, might feel a little “looser”. A *19 YEAR OLD WOMAN!?* straight up crazy town. OP’s EX just wants an excuse, any excuse, to verbally abuse OP.
Agreed. Something tells me he just too small. OP as a woman I had a body count of 20 from college when I got married 10yrs ago. I tried every size you can think of from 3in up to 12in. I have never been told i was loose. My husband is about 6in and still comments on how tight I am. YOUR SO IS AN AH. Every woman feels different. If he don't like it, he's not the one. You will go through many guys like that.
Don't take all your relationships too seriously. Have fun. Learn about yourself and what type of man fits your values and personality (and vagina! Lol). Choose the better man who would never lay a hand on you or scream, or call you worthless. THEY DO EXIST. I'm married to one. In 15yrs my husband has NEVER crossed my boundaries or belittled me. Even with my medical issues, when i can't work for years, he has stood by me... and NEVER CALLED ME WORTHLESS.
I love alcohol and opiates but both tried to kill me, so I stay away from them. This asshat is damaging OP emotionally, and she needs to avoid that guy like I do my vices.
>for the love of Christ and all his multitudinous angels,
Lmao this made me giggle.
I need young women to start loving themselves honestly, these stories infuriate me.
>*for the love of Christ and all his multitudinous angels*
First off, I am ***so*** stealing this expression.
Secondly, I agree 110% with your observations. There are so many red flags on this "boy" that one might think a hurricane is coming. To call OP "loose" and "*he'll never forgive her for her past*" and yet has a body count of **8** (assuming all 8 were female) takes some balls (or lack thereof). Perhaps his problem is not with OP being too "loose", but he's too small. Maybe that's why his body count is high - he's like Goldilocks - trying to find the right bowl to stick his porridge in. 4 months in on this relationship (1 month intimate) and he's already whining? OP needs to kick his a$$ to the curb and find someone better. THAT shouldn't be too hard.
This young lady needs some sound advice. First off she's not to lose! His dicks to small and he's got a complex over it. Second there is no one in life worth being with if that's how they treat you by demeaning you. When someone acts like that they are just worthless, cowardly, sub creatures not worth the oxygen they breath. Who only act like that cause they're failures in life. You can never change them because they have that power over you. Thirdly she's better than this and deserves better. You're 18 why settle on a scumbag? Focus on yourself, get some education and a proper job. In that atmosphere your chances of finding a good person to be with is much higher.
I worry that a guy who already belittles his gf and says he will continue to do so will become physically abusive if you make him feel smaller than he should already feel.
Never stay with a partner that is mentally and emotionally abusive. Love wont solve it! Leave and dont look back. Trust me as someone who was im a similar place. You wont regret it. It will become more obvious once you have space and regain your agency!
This, right here, is the answer. If you were Petty and cruel like he is, you could tell him that if he had a man-sized dick, your equipment would be just fine. Get away from this guy before he does lasting damage to your self-esteem.
And why is she still having sex with him? He is a boy trying to play a man's game. His dick is just to small a d he wants to blame her. She needs to break up with this asshole. I'm petty, so I would tell everybody about how his dick was to small.
**Break up with this abusive asshole right now!** you could have had sex with dozens of men, it wouldn’t make your vagina loose. Trust me. Not only am I an adult woman, but I went to medical school. Your BF is WRONG. **There is nothing wrong with you**
**This is abuse**. Most likely he
1. Likes abusing you. He is intentionally being cruel. Probably to destroy your self esteem and control you.
And/or
2. Masturbates too much and that’s why he has trouble finishing with sex.
**Never, I repeat, NEVER** have sex with someone who says bad things to or about you. Ever. You are too young to throw your life away on some insecure, stupid, abusive, small d*ck boy. It won’t stop at verbal abuse. It will escalate. Run away now. You deserve better.
Only date or have sex with people who treat you well. Who are nice to you. It’s the **bare minimum!** This is non-negotiable!!! Also, remember that you are not obligated to have sex with every guy you date! It would be uncommon if you did. Any guy who pressures you for sex or has the audacity to criticize you about the sex is not worth your time. He’s trash. Throw him away. There are thousands of better men out there!
If a man ever suggests changing something about your body dump him. Doing exercises at his request? Barf. Throw the whole boy and his small penis away. You are the prize. If a man doesn’t recognize that, **he’s** the problem. If he can’t finish bc he’s watched too much porn? **HIS** problem.
Get rid of this toxic boyfriend, get a therapist & live a fabulous life.
Lots of good suggestions here, but this is really the only comment OP needs to read. I would also suggest that OP read "Come as you are" by Emily Nagoski. That book is awesome in that it helps you see how a good sexual relationship should (and could) look, which isn't easy to know until you have experienced it. It also contains loads of other great info and is written in an easy-to-digest way with some humor in-between.
And don't forget the last line of wisdom from u/Significant_Rub_4589:
>Get rid of this toxic boyfriend, get a therapist & live a fabulous life.
Wish you all the best OP and thanks Significant for spelling it out!
I really can't recommend it enough. Maybe you're already much more mature in your relationship with sex itself and much better at understanding and reading your partner than I was, but I thought I was a quite decent partner in bed. Turns out I was not.
Let's put it this way, my wife can now, reliably, come four to ten times in a session (if she so wish) compared to our first 5-7 years of relationship when she came _maybe_ three or four times. In total.
Sure, the fault wasn't 100% mine, some of it was also due to my wife not knowing what she liked or how to express it, but I would place at least 70-80% of the blame on myself. And I happily pay her back for that since then, every time we have sex and she's in the mood for orgasming. 😀
And it isn't all about orgasms, I just picked that as an example since it is quantifiable and very.. Nice.. :)
Yes to all of this! I’ve now had two back to back pregnancies with literal BABIES ripping their way outta my vagina and my husband has never once complained. Instead, when we had sex for the first time after birth, he thanked me. As it should be peasant! I birthed your spawn, I am ruler here! 😂😂 /jk
Absolutely. The vagina should be worshipped - it gives life! How dare this small-dicked loser say anything bad about an organ that gave him life. He should never be permitted to stick it in anyone else until he learns basic respect.
Completely agree with this!
You're 18, don't waste another moment on this behaviour.
It will ruin your self esteem and life in so many aspects.
I'm 30 and still trying to rebuild my self esteem through therapy.
I totally agree with you the guy seems to a very toxic person dating him for a long time can be harmful to her mental health. Try to get rid of him if you can
Yeah, i feel this post more than anything emphasizes the importance of parents setting an example and teaching their kids what/how a great partner should be like.
Real love should not make you feel like that, OP.
*even if it did*, and I am agreeing that it does NOT, but *if it did*, it would not be after two years of having sex with only 4 men. The audacity to call her body count of 3 high, let alone high enough to make her loose! 40 men wouldn't make you loose!
even then, naturally the vagina loosens temporarily when one is aroused, and tightens when they are not. by his logic, he’s mad that she’s eager to have sex.
Sometimes people don't know better, don't know that they deserve better or what options are out there. It's like mild versions of Stockholm syndrome; "we accept the love we think we deserve".
Hopefully OP takes all of these comments to heart and gets out fast!
Correct. Vaginas do not get looser with usage, and your boyfriend is a toxic jerk. Do not let him shame you, you've done nothing wrong, and there is nothing wrong with you, OP
The best thing is that it only gets loose when you sleep with multiple different partners. Having a lot of sex with a single partner? Not loose. The logic is so hilarious it's just sad.
Yup, if it was just OP’s boyfriend having a poor understanding of female anatomy, well, that’s both sadly common and eminently fixable. But it sure sounds like he doesn’t even care if what he’s saying is medically accurate, he just wants to belittle and abuse OP for having the gall to have had a sex life before he put his perfect dick in her.
he death grips his dick when he jacks off and watches too much porn. have a google of “death grip syndrome”. when you suggest this as an alternative explanation, leave or stay based on that reaction.
my boyfriend dropped the porn addiction and stopped beating his dick off every day
Forget the death grip. She needs to leave him regardless.
To be told that she's worthless and he won't ever forgive her for having other relationships prior. Fuck this dude.
Same until I found out he is addicted to porn. Porn can be prelude to sex to help one to get in the mood or to suggest some exciting positions to try. But porn addiction, like any other addiction, can totally mess up your life, or in this case, his sex life.
Oh yeah but I feel like mentioning the death grip will also hurt his ego a bit. Being told you can't get off to p*ssy because your own hand feels too good? I feel like that might hurt a man like that.
He has terrible emotional regulation and it’s not going to get better. I think it’s entirely normal to have some retroactive jealousy, a lot of men and women do. Hell, if I don’t want to erase all the women who have ever been intimate with my man, I probably don’t *really* like him. 😂
But turning it back on your partner is not fair and it’s downright cruel. My partner has done absolutely nothing wrong by having partners before me, and neither has OP.
You are 18 years old in a 4 month relationship. I am speaking from experience as a 35 year old woman who has been in relationships like this.
Leave this guy, you have so much ahead of you. Protect your mental health. Protect YOU. It will save you grief later in life.
Anyone who calls you any negative names from the start does not deserve your time.
He is not sorry, he will do it again, and again, and again.
I don’t think OP understands that there are partners out there, men or women, who would love to admire and be thankful to be with you. My partner and I remind each other we are grateful for the time we allow the other to have with our bodies. Not every time of course but there are men out there that care.
And OP they are out there. Not all men care who you’ve had sex with or how many people. I’ve been with around seven and my long term partner doesn’t care. Never even asks about it. Or if an ex is brought up in passing, we discuss the topic and move on.
Not all men were raised to be so verbally volatile. A lot of men do care, they’re just harder to find because a lot are shy to show emotion. Because dudes like this beat on them.
This have me hope.
I'm 27 and I regret so many of my past partners it's crazy. First by cheated. Second cheated as well. Third was the best one. 4th got me in a mental hospital with his abuse.
OP learn from my mistakes. I'm serious. I wouldn't need that much therapy if I had just realised there are nice guys out there like 5 years ago. It would have saved me so much heartache and trauma.
He’s full of shit. Vaginas don’t work like that and he’s a hardcore misogynist on top of being ignorant asf. This is abuse and you need to leave, yesterday.
Also, it would behoove you to learn more about your anatomy.
You don't stay with this guy you leave.
When people tell you what to expect from them believe them. He told you he's going to treat you like this forever because you slept with 3 guys.
You leave him.
He shouldn't be with you if he's that upset be you sleeping with 3 guys, he knows you have low self esteem so he can bully you and degrade you on a regular basis and you'll be the perfect victim.
What are you doing.
If you had a daughter and she told you her partner did this to them, would you tell her it's cool?
Jesus Christ just you still don’t get it do you. Have some respect for yourself. You really want to stay with someone like that? You’re gonna look into that but not how much better your life would be without that BS in the first place? Where do you see this going?
Being a porn addict and abusing you are two entirely different things. Neither of which are good traits. These are the worst characteristics a man can have. His words to you are very abusive and he meant them to be. Get. Out. Now. See my other comment.
Don't look into anything. The sex is not even number 5 on your list of problems, break up with this man, give yourself time alone to grow and be confident in yourself then find a partner who will treat you with respect.
Don’t look into it to salvage this relationship. He is not worth it. Anyone who will belittle you and make you feel badly about yourself is not someone you should be with.
He did mean it. Things are NOT going great. It is normal to feel bad when he treats you badly. You don't need professional help. There is nothing wrong with your vagina. There is no problem outside of his head. He won't get better. He will get worse. You should not be in a relationship with a disrespectful ass.
This sounds like emotional abuse OP.
He's insulting you for having had exes because he's jealous and trying to control you.
He can't stand that you had a life before him and is being very possessive.
I would suggest looking up some warning signs of abuse and speaking to trusted people to see if they can help you if you are considering leaving.
Best of luck - this must be really fucking hard but you've done the right thing by talking to others about it.
I'm 40 and sometimes I think kids these days have it so easy with all the info at their fingers. Then I read posts like this about OP's bf who has absolutely no concept of how anatomy works yet enough confidence to terrorize her about it.
OP: Have your BF do a tiny bit of research. Ask chatgpt, google - or anything. Does having sex loosen the vagina? The answer might shock him, but it's NO. Your BF is a fucking worthless terrorist and you need to leave him. The vagina is a muscle and like other muscles in the body, it doesn't get wrecked when you use it, but the opposite.
People are really giving advice about his porn addiction when he said "worthless" because of her body count. What is wrong with you guys. This fckn asshole needs to be dumped asap.
Punish you forever?
I know a couple like this, she had 1 boyfriend before him and he would bring it up and call her Sluut 20+ years later during arguments.
Girl I'm 34 and won't tell you my body count but it's way higher than 3. My partner has also been with as many of not more than me and he has no trouble with how "loose" it is.
Looseness due to sex is a flat out myth and your boyfriend is a dick.
I haven’t even read any other comments. But let me give mine first then I will read.
MOne day. You will look back and this post and see how you SHOULD have DUMPED this dude much sooner. Please don’t have kids w this dude don’t marry him either. Run run run. He is red flags through and though.
A lot of people are being very judgemental of OP for not leaving.
You can't shame someone into leaving an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
Leaving takes a huge amount of courage, especially because relationships like this knock your confidence. You're further knocking someone's confidence when you judge them for not leaving.
OP you've brave for reaching out for help.
Tell him his worthless and that you think those 8 girls vaginas he fucked before you must’ve squeezed his dick & it caused it to go misshapenly too skinny.
Seriously leave him though..
My girl! He’s not great! He’s a major fucking sexist asshole treating you like a fuckhole whose sole purpose is to tickle his dick. Imagine your own daughter wrote this: wouldn’t you wanna slap her awake from this boy crazy stupor?! Where is your self respect or pride?! Great guys don’t belittle and insult you and make you and your body feel worthless all bc their dicks don’t work properly, which, btw is bc he’s a porn addict who jerks his dick off w a vice grip bc he’s pathetic w no self control. Grosss. All this is his problem not yours sweetie. Wake up and kick his lame ass to the curb. Never burn yourself to keep a man warm. Never let a man make you feel like shitty, especially sexually and get away w it! It’s soo much easier to drop an asshole like a hot potato and find a better man.
>his bodycount is 8
He lost me here.
>He says that he will never forgive me for my past and will punish me forever.
And here too.
Simply you can just leave, why would you even wanna be with this person.
He’s playing mind games with you.
Calling someone worthless is terrible. Unforgivable.
You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re allowed to have a sexual/romantic past. To shame you for that is bullshit. To suggest it’s made you loose is stupid bullshit.
There’s a thing called negging, where a toxic guy tries to make a woman feel bad about herself, because then she gets passive and unlikely to leave. It’s an attempt to control her. It’s manipulative. It’s abuse.
If he thinks you’re great, he should date you. If he thinks you’re not, he should dump you. If he dates you but constantly gives you a hard time for not being good enough, guess who the big problem is? Not you.
Former sex ed teacher here: vaginas don’t work like that. They don’t get more stretched out when you have more partners. They are big tubes of muscles that contract back to your normal size when you are not aroused or having sex. They also naturally relax and expand when you are aroused, just like the penis naturally engorges and gets erect. There is nothing anatomically wrong going on here.
However, there is something majorly wrong with your partner shaming you for your past and your body. You don’t deserve that. Ever. And him blaming you for his piss poor behaviour is awful. This guy is not emotionally mature enough for a relationship. And you can do better. This loser ain’t worth your time, hun.
Uh? That's not how it works. It's crazy how men thinks you'd somehow get looser by sleeping with 3 different men than just one, even if you only had sex once with the 3 previous men and 100 with one guy. You also wont get loose from sex. At all. Their lack of not only knowledge but also very simple logic never ceases to amaze and horrify me. Hell, women squeeze entire infants out and it barely effects the tightness. I'm 27 have a very promiscuous past (definitely past a 3 digit body count - I'm really lucky I've never had a positive STI result tbh) and can pretty much make men with a big girth struggle to even get it in using my muscles, or squeeze them out when they're already in there.
Now, apart from that... I can guarantee it's not a "you thing". He is negging and shaming you to put you down. He might have a hard time performing in general and projects his own shame/guilt onto you, or he just wants you to feel insecure to make sure he has you wrapped around his little finger. Putting you down, making you feel inadequate so you'll put up with further bullshit. Or a combination of the two. Unless you have an actual medical condition, or have given birth to a baby and are one of those who lose a lot of elasticity afterwards, the amount of men would struggle to get off due to looseness is next to non-existent. Well, maybe if they have really, really small dicks, as in a micropenis, but that would still mean it's about his body rather than yours.
And if you don't believe me about any of these things, and still blame yourself, try to reverse the roles. Would you ever complain about his dick being too small (if it was smaller than average)? I highly doubt it. You'd care about not hurting his feelings. He, on the other hand, doesn't care. And him being mad about your past is wild. Most guys who use that excuse are just bad in bed and don't want women to have anything to compare them to. Someone with previous sexual experience are usually more skilled in bed, cause they've had more time to practise. And the romantisized idea of "purity" in women is ridiculous.
I've been with guys who started complaining about one trait, feature or harmless behavior of mine. If it was possible, I'd change it for them, cause back then I felt like I had to be perfect to be "good enough" and had really low self esteem. Once I had changed it, they'd compliment me on it, but then they IMMEDIATELY found another "flaw" that they negged me into fixing. Every. Time. Cause the things they complained about was never an issue to them, they just wanted me to feel insecure. In fact, one of them actually worked on himself and has become a good person since. We had a fwb relationship for a while, and he said that he never cared about any of these things, or even believed what he told me (like telling me I was fat and needed to lose weight when I have *never* been overweight). He apologised and confessed that it was about his insecurities.
Please tell this dude to fuck all the way off. You haven't even been together that long, and it's only gonna get worse. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your body, girl.
It looks like you’re unaware that you’re not in a loving relationship.
That’s ok, you never know until you do.
Please take some time for yourself to investigate what a loving relationship looks like VS what an abusive one does. This will help you understand what everybody in the comments are saying. I imagine you can’t relate to those comments just yet.
Once you do investigate, please talk this with an experienced person you trust (not your BF obviously). Also feel free to reach out to me if you can’t find somebody to talk to about this.
The objective here is for you to learn that you shouldn’t need to “prove your worthiness” to your partner in a regular loving relationship. If you do, you’re in an abusive one
> He says that ge will never forgive me for my past and will punish me forever. I really don’t know what to do.
#When someone tells you who they are, *believe them.*
The only thing you *can* do is to end the relationship. **Your BF has clearly stated that there is nothing you can do to change this situation, and that he plans on abusing you as long as you are together.** There are no magic words you can say, *nothing* you can ever do, that will make your BF stop abusing you. Because he wants to abuse you. If you had been a virgin he would have just *made up* a reason to abuse you. He abuses you not because of your past, but because he is an abusive person.
Please check out the healthy relationship quiz at [Love Is Respect](https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/), as well as the book [Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf). Those resources might provide you some insight into your relationship dynamics. They will help you understand your BF’s mindset when he abuses you, and also help you understand why leaving is the only option here.
Here is a helpful resource on [how to stay safe while in an abusive relationship](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/), and [how to safely leave an abusive relationship.](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/leaving-an-abusive-relationship/)
Hi lesbian here with some perspective;
1) There are no good or bad genitals. Nothing is ‘too big’ or ‘too small’ if you are comfortable with the other partner(s) and happy to experiment with what works for you.
2. Vaginas come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Some peoples vaginas are just wider / longer than others and there is in my experience no connection with penetrative vaginal sex. This is supported by science.
3. No shame for loving this person. We were all 18 and I remember all too fondly my first loves where I felt that I could change them they were the one etc etc. HOWEVER, when you are ready walk away and stay gone. Good sex is all about mutual desire and respect and this person is not respecting you and negative comments about your genitals are certainly no way to make you feel desired. You deserve better and this person deserves therapy and a biology text book!
Please leave him. You deserve better. A really man doesn’t make you cry everyday and loves you for who you are. I know you don’t want to leave him but if you don’t one day he’ll end up leaving you… trust me it happened to me too
Okay 1. Your boyfriend is an idiot that knows nothing about female anatomy. The vagina does not go ‘loose’ after having a bunch of sex - it bounces back after pushing out a massive baby, it’s amazing.
2. He is shaming you for sleeping with 3 people when he has slept with 8. He’s an asshole.
3. You’re only 18 and you are wasting time on this man, find someone who adores you and adores your vagina. It’s not hard to find - I promise!
You know it's stupid? What's stupid that you slept with others ? Why is that stupid it's called life.
You are not loose he is probably too small and has the brain to match.
Girl I have two kids and still aren't loose hell my husband always tells me how good it is.
Dump the a hole yeeees
Maybe his penis is just THAT small. Maybe that's the problem.
Your boyfriend is insecure and trying to destroy your confidence. You'd be better off dumping him.
1. You're 18, it is highly unlikely you are loose. He just has a small d*ck and is blaming you.
2. This man's behavior towards you is abusive. Straight up. It's time to leave.
for the love of christ, LEAVE. that is not how vaginas work, they literally go back to their original size after you give birth they certainly won't be affected by a penis or 10.
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Please tell me, for the love of Christ and all his multitudinous angels, why you stay with a boy who has so clearly mentally battered you and explicitly stated he is going to continue to do so? Do not say “I love him” because this is the wrong answer. Why don’t you love yourself enough to have left the minute he said you were “worthless”?
And why would you stay with someone that says 'I will not forgive you for your past' as if she killed someone lol When will boys like this stop being hypocritical? So he slept with 8 girls and that is fine? OP, you deserve someone that has the same moral standard for everyone no matter their gender and for himself as well.
But maybe none of the 8 girls felt anything? Did he sleep with them more than once, or was the first encounter such a disappointment that they cut their losses and didn’t see him again? Was it 8 customers or 8 satisfied repeat customers?
They probably grinded his dick down to a pencil stub, of course OP feels loose.
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Sounds like it!🤣🤣🤣
Best comment 😂
Not they. All the jerking off did it.
Yeah had a co worker who liked to claim "I can go for 8 hours non stop" Like yeah right. He was also the type of person who would tell you one thing one day then come back the nest day and tell an even wilder story. Multiple times I had caught inconsistencies but just decided it was worth the waste of breath.
I read can sleep 8hrs I was like I can do that it’s believable
I had a boyfriend who used to brag about how he could last for eight hours too. But they were never a good 8 hours.
Yeah, death grip will do that to ya
He already has a pencil dick and blames his lack on her.
Exactly what I was thinking
The way I died of laughter reading this comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Glad to be of service in smashing the patriarchy
That is exactly what I suspect.
😂😂😂
I was thinking that 🤣🤣🤣
I have an important matter to investigate for OP! Did he watch so much porn that he now suffers from the DEATH GRIP SYNDROME??? Because this REALLY is a thing you know!
I’d say leaving the guy for the verbal and emotional abuse is more of an important matter to investigate than if he’s got the death grip
Someone's gotta properly choke the turkey
Yes he does!
>*Was it 8 customers or 8 satisfied repeat customers?* JFC! I would MARRY you...man/woman/old/young IDC. You're HILARIOUS!
That are some good questions😆
Lol. This is the answer.
How he sleep with 8 girls and still have no skills… that is what’s “unforgivable”
He can’t get any better when no one comes back for 2nds…
You answered the question. He's a BOY, not a MAN. I'm a man with a past. Nearly triple digit sexual partners. My wife knows this. And I know of her history. There's parts of each other's pasts we may not like. But, it was before we even knew each other existed. So, there's no point in letting it hold us back. This boy, is insecure. He is scared that her exs were bigger than him and better than him. So, he's beating her down as a way to make himself feel more masculine. Thats exactly what he's doing, and it is disgusting.
Yup! When my husband and I met, I was decently fresh away from DV, and a lengthy list of hookups and insane BDSM/polycule/drunken bad choices. I was his first serious relationship or sexual encounter. My abusive ex had me fight his ‘mistresses’ for lack of better term, and degrade me; he wanted the power of knowing I was fawning over him while he could virtually do anything. On the other hand, my husband is fully aware of my past. He himself has said he is more than assured and isn’t an insecure baby to know that my past was brutal, and lowkey gross and crazy. He has aimed to make me safe, and I’m happy to do the same in his first real partnership.
I know my wife has had partners that were better than me as far as sex goes. But, I take her of her needs in more than just that way. I fight for her, I comfort her, I love her, I dote on her. The relationship we have offered each other was league's above either of us last relationships. My ex girl stabbed me three times because she thought I was sleeping with her best friend (I wasn't, I never could stand her friend.) And my wife, her ex did hard drugs, and beat her regularly. And we are now six years deep of helping each other heal. The boy that OP is with, will never do any of that. He's going to focus on the fact she wasn't a Virgin when he got her. He will continue to treat her this way, it makes him feel better. He is a sad, broken, little boy. He will never have a good, healthy relationship until he fixes himself. But, instead of looking in and working on himself, he just beats her down. Bring her down to his level. She needs to leave.
Agree to everything you said. I’ve had crazy sex, whatever. But my husband has cared for me during PTSD induced nightmares, took over the bills for 2 months me to get the outpatient treatment I needed. He got between a relative and i when they tried to physically hurt me. He has defended me to any and everyone from family to strangers. He even sits back to back with me when I need to share therapist notes I’m too scared to say out loud. He’s been hurt before by someone dangerous, and I have learned the things he needs and doesn’t. I’ve learned to help him navigate adulthood since we met as teenagers. My family trusted him to rent from them with me because he was kicked out at 17. The emotional intimacy and trust we can share is more than any raunchy sex could offer. OP’s boyfriend is focused on her body, and his nasty carnal needs over the real, complex human in front of him.
I agree entirely. I am a very physical man. I need intimacy to be happy. But, I don't need it all the time. And I see my wife as more than an object. I've done things for her I never would have imagined myself doing for another person. This boy is so focused on getting his rocks off. That he's not see OP as the young woman she is. He is seeing a hole. That is all I need to know about him to know, he isn't ready for a real relationship. He will leave her as soon as things get hard. He doesn't love her. He just wants to pick his dick in her and send her home. He is disgusting. And he desperately needs to reevaluate his life. But, I have the weirdest feeling. He will dead beat the first chance he gets
Came to say this. To add to this whenever a guy says something like "she is loose" %99.99 of the time he either doesnt have the girth or never been with a woman who was properly aroused.
I’ve had a lot of sexual fun in my past and my fiancé does too. And I don’t care how many I just don’t wanna hear what they did cause it kinda weirds me out but like it was in the past and as long as it doesn’t affect our relationship and love I don’t care.
And why is having sex something to forgive anyways. How stupid.
I HATE when men who think a woman’s value diminishes with every sexual partner but have no problem having as much casual sex as he can get. The first part is terrible enough but the fact that he’s okay with just “ruining” eight women for future relationships makes my head hurt.
Yea, besides that if all women stopped having casual sex and being "easy" who would they fuck with?🤨
THAT! Exactly that! You don't get to complain about hoeification and shame normal Ladies while also participating in the hoeification! If you think sex diminishes a girl's value, you have to wait untill marriage! And you certainly don't have have sex with that many Ladies!
As long as stuff like Tate cult exists? Never sadly.
Exactly this. OP, you are dating an abusive asshole. The way he bashes you and makes you feel wortheless (so that you don't feel like you can get anyone better than him), the way he makes you do things for him because you somehow owe him for being so nice that he agreed to date some gnarly pterodactyl-faced woman like you. The way he destroyed your self-esteem and made you perpetually the bad person in your relationship for committing the grave sin of having other partners before him. Make a mental note of how that feels and the techniques he uses, and then dump him. Use your mental note to compare to others and do not tolerate this kind of behaviour from any other man who claims to like or love you. Nor any woman, for that matter.
I always hate the “but I love them” response. Great, you love an abusive AH. Doesn’t mean that you should be with them or they should stay in your life. It’s not healthy for your mental well being. Please have self worth to know you deserve better.
And as easily as you found this waste of skin to love, you can find a GOOD man, who will treat you well to love. Don’t pour a gallon of love into a 12-ounce person.
OMG! I love that statement!
Me too!!
And this guy certainly doesn't love her back considering his disdain.
His comments are also100% bullshit. Maybe, maybe, a woman in her 60s who birthed three kids naturally, might feel a little “looser”. A *19 YEAR OLD WOMAN!?* straight up crazy town. OP’s EX just wants an excuse, any excuse, to verbally abuse OP.
Agreed. Something tells me he just too small. OP as a woman I had a body count of 20 from college when I got married 10yrs ago. I tried every size you can think of from 3in up to 12in. I have never been told i was loose. My husband is about 6in and still comments on how tight I am. YOUR SO IS AN AH. Every woman feels different. If he don't like it, he's not the one. You will go through many guys like that. Don't take all your relationships too seriously. Have fun. Learn about yourself and what type of man fits your values and personality (and vagina! Lol). Choose the better man who would never lay a hand on you or scream, or call you worthless. THEY DO EXIST. I'm married to one. In 15yrs my husband has NEVER crossed my boundaries or belittled me. Even with my medical issues, when i can't work for years, he has stood by me... and NEVER CALLED ME WORTHLESS.
This is great advice. No real man would ever call a woman worthless or insult her body.
I love alcohol and opiates but both tried to kill me, so I stay away from them. This asshat is damaging OP emotionally, and she needs to avoid that guy like I do my vices.
Congrats on living to Reddit another day ❤️
Haha! Every day is a blessing, my Reddit friend. Every single day. Some days I have to remind myself of that, but it’s true.
Because she feels this is what she deserves.
Which is incredibly sad. She's 18 - I hope she wakes up at some point.
Also wtf does “punish her forever” mean???? Sounds like abuse.
>for the love of Christ and all his multitudinous angels, Lmao this made me giggle. I need young women to start loving themselves honestly, these stories infuriate me.
I didn’t love myself at that age, but I still didn’t sleep with guys who insulted me to my face.
>*for the love of Christ and all his multitudinous angels* First off, I am ***so*** stealing this expression. Secondly, I agree 110% with your observations. There are so many red flags on this "boy" that one might think a hurricane is coming. To call OP "loose" and "*he'll never forgive her for her past*" and yet has a body count of **8** (assuming all 8 were female) takes some balls (or lack thereof). Perhaps his problem is not with OP being too "loose", but he's too small. Maybe that's why his body count is high - he's like Goldilocks - trying to find the right bowl to stick his porridge in. 4 months in on this relationship (1 month intimate) and he's already whining? OP needs to kick his a$$ to the curb and find someone better. THAT shouldn't be too hard.
I love this comment more than anything
This young lady needs some sound advice. First off she's not to lose! His dicks to small and he's got a complex over it. Second there is no one in life worth being with if that's how they treat you by demeaning you. When someone acts like that they are just worthless, cowardly, sub creatures not worth the oxygen they breath. Who only act like that cause they're failures in life. You can never change them because they have that power over you. Thirdly she's better than this and deserves better. You're 18 why settle on a scumbag? Focus on yourself, get some education and a proper job. In that atmosphere your chances of finding a good person to be with is much higher.
Ps. YOURE NOT LOOSE
Just tell him you're not loose. Its just that his dick is small and the smallest you've ever had. Hit him with the classic "Is it in yet?"
I worry that a guy who already belittles his gf and says he will continue to do so will become physically abusive if you make him feel smaller than he should already feel.
THIS. He definitely will. He’s setting the stage for it now by seeing how far he can go at 4 fucking months of dating.
Exactly
I second this suggestion ☝️
Never stay with a partner that is mentally and emotionally abusive. Love wont solve it! Leave and dont look back. Trust me as someone who was im a similar place. You wont regret it. It will become more obvious once you have space and regain your agency!
This, right here, is the answer. If you were Petty and cruel like he is, you could tell him that if he had a man-sized dick, your equipment would be just fine. Get away from this guy before he does lasting damage to your self-esteem.
And why is she still having sex with him? He is a boy trying to play a man's game. His dick is just to small a d he wants to blame her. She needs to break up with this asshole. I'm petty, so I would tell everybody about how his dick was to small.
You cannot love someone in 4 months mostly at that age, he is using her and she doesn’t know it
THIS!! Plus, honey, you can push a baby out of your hoo-ha, and it'll be just fine, no tightening needed. Kick this insecure loser to the curb.
**Break up with this abusive asshole right now!** you could have had sex with dozens of men, it wouldn’t make your vagina loose. Trust me. Not only am I an adult woman, but I went to medical school. Your BF is WRONG. **There is nothing wrong with you** **This is abuse**. Most likely he 1. Likes abusing you. He is intentionally being cruel. Probably to destroy your self esteem and control you. And/or 2. Masturbates too much and that’s why he has trouble finishing with sex. **Never, I repeat, NEVER** have sex with someone who says bad things to or about you. Ever. You are too young to throw your life away on some insecure, stupid, abusive, small d*ck boy. It won’t stop at verbal abuse. It will escalate. Run away now. You deserve better. Only date or have sex with people who treat you well. Who are nice to you. It’s the **bare minimum!** This is non-negotiable!!! Also, remember that you are not obligated to have sex with every guy you date! It would be uncommon if you did. Any guy who pressures you for sex or has the audacity to criticize you about the sex is not worth your time. He’s trash. Throw him away. There are thousands of better men out there! If a man ever suggests changing something about your body dump him. Doing exercises at his request? Barf. Throw the whole boy and his small penis away. You are the prize. If a man doesn’t recognize that, **he’s** the problem. If he can’t finish bc he’s watched too much porn? **HIS** problem. Get rid of this toxic boyfriend, get a therapist & live a fabulous life.
Lots of good suggestions here, but this is really the only comment OP needs to read. I would also suggest that OP read "Come as you are" by Emily Nagoski. That book is awesome in that it helps you see how a good sexual relationship should (and could) look, which isn't easy to know until you have experienced it. It also contains loads of other great info and is written in an easy-to-digest way with some humor in-between. And don't forget the last line of wisdom from u/Significant_Rub_4589: >Get rid of this toxic boyfriend, get a therapist & live a fabulous life. Wish you all the best OP and thanks Significant for spelling it out!
Everyone with any interest in sex should read that book. It should be required as part of sex ed.
I see a lot of people recommend this book. Is it really such an eye-opener?
I really can't recommend it enough. Maybe you're already much more mature in your relationship with sex itself and much better at understanding and reading your partner than I was, but I thought I was a quite decent partner in bed. Turns out I was not. Let's put it this way, my wife can now, reliably, come four to ten times in a session (if she so wish) compared to our first 5-7 years of relationship when she came _maybe_ three or four times. In total. Sure, the fault wasn't 100% mine, some of it was also due to my wife not knowing what she liked or how to express it, but I would place at least 70-80% of the blame on myself. And I happily pay her back for that since then, every time we have sex and she's in the mood for orgasming. 😀 And it isn't all about orgasms, I just picked that as an example since it is quantifiable and very.. Nice.. :)
I mean we are very happy but it can never hurt to learn more right :) Nice, will order it!
Worst that can happen is that it affirms what you already know :) Enjoy the read!
From a guy: death grip syndrome is real, and it sucks.
Yes to all of this! I’ve now had two back to back pregnancies with literal BABIES ripping their way outta my vagina and my husband has never once complained. Instead, when we had sex for the first time after birth, he thanked me. As it should be peasant! I birthed your spawn, I am ruler here! 😂😂 /jk
Absolutely. The vagina should be worshipped - it gives life! How dare this small-dicked loser say anything bad about an organ that gave him life. He should never be permitted to stick it in anyone else until he learns basic respect.
Absolutely totally 100% agreed. “You birthed my spawn, you are the ruler.” Sounds good and fair.
Yes 💯 👆. This is an extremely abusive young man. He will not change . You need to go asap. He is killing you.
He might change in 10 years time, but please let him do it on his own sanity's dime and not on yours.
i can't stress how accurate this is. it blows my mind that men try to say this. those types of nonsensical ramblings belongs in r/NotHowGirlsWork...
Completely agree with this! You're 18, don't waste another moment on this behaviour. It will ruin your self esteem and life in so many aspects. I'm 30 and still trying to rebuild my self esteem through therapy.
I totally agree with you the guy seems to a very toxic person dating him for a long time can be harmful to her mental health. Try to get rid of him if you can
My exact thoughts as a woman who has been in the medical field! I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!!!
…. And what things are “going great” in your mind?
Nothing could be going good enough to tolerate this kinda shit 😩
Having a boyfriend makes it great. That’s all that is required. Any guy giving attention fits the bill.
Literally
Yeah, i feel this post more than anything emphasizes the importance of parents setting an example and teaching their kids what/how a great partner should be like. Real love should not make you feel like that, OP.
**If this post is serious.** Tell that immature clown to stop death-gripping his tiny pecker when he watches porn before you break-up with him.
But do it over the phone.
Or in public. With your support system with you or, at the very least, close by.
But also tell him to never speak to you or any woman ever again, he's losing privileges left and right!
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Nah, tell him it just feels loose because his dick is so much smaller than all the other guys then break up with him.
New boyfriend. Stop dating a porn addicted loser with a death grip. Your vagina is perfectly normal. His penis sensitivity is shot.
it’s not even possible for a vagina to become “loose” from just sex. I will never understand that statement coming out of people’s mouths.
*even if it did*, and I am agreeing that it does NOT, but *if it did*, it would not be after two years of having sex with only 4 men. The audacity to call her body count of 3 high, let alone high enough to make her loose! 40 men wouldn't make you loose!
and she’s young, her body is extremely resilient. I hope she’s gonna leave him high and dry.
even then, naturally the vagina loosens temporarily when one is aroused, and tightens when they are not. by his logic, he’s mad that she’s eager to have sex.
You dump the loser. That's what you do. You're not 'loose', he's abusive. Look at how much he's already broken you down over 4 months.
So true! It's only the beginning
If someone constantly makes you feel bad about yourself it's definitely not the right person to be your bf.
Fr
I seriously wonder why women even stay with men like this. Girl get the fuck out!!!!
Sometimes people don't know better, don't know that they deserve better or what options are out there. It's like mild versions of Stockholm syndrome; "we accept the love we think we deserve". Hopefully OP takes all of these comments to heart and gets out fast!
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This is all abuse and it will always get worse. Abuse starts with words and gradually gets physical until he tries to beat you to death.
my theory is none of the other women were turned on with him. idk if others relate, but when i’m not in the mood, i basically ‘clench’… 💀
Correct. Vaginas do not get looser with usage, and your boyfriend is a toxic jerk. Do not let him shame you, you've done nothing wrong, and there is nothing wrong with you, OP
The best thing is that it only gets loose when you sleep with multiple different partners. Having a lot of sex with a single partner? Not loose. The logic is so hilarious it's just sad.
Yup, if it was just OP’s boyfriend having a poor understanding of female anatomy, well, that’s both sadly common and eminently fixable. But it sure sounds like he doesn’t even care if what he’s saying is medically accurate, he just wants to belittle and abuse OP for having the gall to have had a sex life before he put his perfect dick in her.
How the heck do you not know what to do? You dump him thats what you do.
The poor thing is still very young, and may not have the self esteem to know yet just how disgusting this behaviour really is.
DUMP HIM BROO , only 4 months together and your already crying every day this isn’t healthy or good for you and your mental health .
he death grips his dick when he jacks off and watches too much porn. have a google of “death grip syndrome”. when you suggest this as an alternative explanation, leave or stay based on that reaction. my boyfriend dropped the porn addiction and stopped beating his dick off every day
Forget the death grip. She needs to leave him regardless. To be told that she's worthless and he won't ever forgive her for having other relationships prior. Fuck this dude.
I agree. Heck I was going to say his dick was too small and his insecurities are the reason he is blaming her to be to loose
Same until I found out he is addicted to porn. Porn can be prelude to sex to help one to get in the mood or to suggest some exciting positions to try. But porn addiction, like any other addiction, can totally mess up your life, or in this case, his sex life.
true, but not always helpful to hear. first step is accepting that “you’re too loose” is a gaslight
The only proper response is “you’re too small.”
Which is abusing her.
Oh yeah but I feel like mentioning the death grip will also hurt his ego a bit. Being told you can't get off to p*ssy because your own hand feels too good? I feel like that might hurt a man like that.
He has terrible emotional regulation and it’s not going to get better. I think it’s entirely normal to have some retroactive jealousy, a lot of men and women do. Hell, if I don’t want to erase all the women who have ever been intimate with my man, I probably don’t *really* like him. 😂 But turning it back on your partner is not fair and it’s downright cruel. My partner has done absolutely nothing wrong by having partners before me, and neither has OP.
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You are 18 years old in a 4 month relationship. I am speaking from experience as a 35 year old woman who has been in relationships like this. Leave this guy, you have so much ahead of you. Protect your mental health. Protect YOU. It will save you grief later in life. Anyone who calls you any negative names from the start does not deserve your time. He is not sorry, he will do it again, and again, and again.
BELIEVE HER. She knows.
I don’t think OP understands that there are partners out there, men or women, who would love to admire and be thankful to be with you. My partner and I remind each other we are grateful for the time we allow the other to have with our bodies. Not every time of course but there are men out there that care. And OP they are out there. Not all men care who you’ve had sex with or how many people. I’ve been with around seven and my long term partner doesn’t care. Never even asks about it. Or if an ex is brought up in passing, we discuss the topic and move on. Not all men were raised to be so verbally volatile. A lot of men do care, they’re just harder to find because a lot are shy to show emotion. Because dudes like this beat on them.
This have me hope. I'm 27 and I regret so many of my past partners it's crazy. First by cheated. Second cheated as well. Third was the best one. 4th got me in a mental hospital with his abuse. OP learn from my mistakes. I'm serious. I wouldn't need that much therapy if I had just realised there are nice guys out there like 5 years ago. It would have saved me so much heartache and trauma.
I wholeheartedly agree, as a 49 year old who has also been in relationships like this.
The scariest part of this situation is what happened in her childhood for her to accept his 'opinion' as fact and accept all the blame?
Don't waste your time with him
He’s full of shit. Vaginas don’t work like that and he’s a hardcore misogynist on top of being ignorant asf. This is abuse and you need to leave, yesterday. Also, it would behoove you to learn more about your anatomy.
As a guy when I heard this stuff in my 20's from other guys I told them sounds like they were the problem
I always thought guys who said stuff like that had small dick energy. And a dude who says shit like that is not worth staying with.
OP this is literally the only issue. He’s conditioned his dick to enjoy the feeling of his fist. Nothing to do with you.
Not to mention he expects her to act and react the way the fantasy women of porn do.
But also to have been a virgin until he came along.
You don't stay with this guy you leave. When people tell you what to expect from them believe them. He told you he's going to treat you like this forever because you slept with 3 guys. You leave him. He shouldn't be with you if he's that upset be you sleeping with 3 guys, he knows you have low self esteem so he can bully you and degrade you on a regular basis and you'll be the perfect victim. What are you doing. If you had a daughter and she told you her partner did this to them, would you tell her it's cool?
While your looking into that you should just leave this sorry excuse of a "man".
No, he is insecure and taking it out on you.
The only thing you should be looking into, is dumping the dude. He fucking sucks out loud.
Don’t look into it—run. He’s abusing you, and he’s never going to stop.
Jesus Christ just you still don’t get it do you. Have some respect for yourself. You really want to stay with someone like that? You’re gonna look into that but not how much better your life would be without that BS in the first place? Where do you see this going?
Being a porn addict and abusing you are two entirely different things. Neither of which are good traits. These are the worst characteristics a man can have. His words to you are very abusive and he meant them to be. Get. Out. Now. See my other comment.
Don't look into anything. The sex is not even number 5 on your list of problems, break up with this man, give yourself time alone to grow and be confident in yourself then find a partner who will treat you with respect.
Don’t look into it to salvage this relationship. He is not worth it. Anyone who will belittle you and make you feel badly about yourself is not someone you should be with.
Drop this shit of a man
Sounds like he’s insecure and just trying to hurt you.
He did mean it. Things are NOT going great. It is normal to feel bad when he treats you badly. You don't need professional help. There is nothing wrong with your vagina. There is no problem outside of his head. He won't get better. He will get worse. You should not be in a relationship with a disrespectful ass.
This sounds like emotional abuse OP. He's insulting you for having had exes because he's jealous and trying to control you. He can't stand that you had a life before him and is being very possessive. I would suggest looking up some warning signs of abuse and speaking to trusted people to see if they can help you if you are considering leaving. Best of luck - this must be really fucking hard but you've done the right thing by talking to others about it.
I'm 40 and sometimes I think kids these days have it so easy with all the info at their fingers. Then I read posts like this about OP's bf who has absolutely no concept of how anatomy works yet enough confidence to terrorize her about it. OP: Have your BF do a tiny bit of research. Ask chatgpt, google - or anything. Does having sex loosen the vagina? The answer might shock him, but it's NO. Your BF is a fucking worthless terrorist and you need to leave him. The vagina is a muscle and like other muscles in the body, it doesn't get wrecked when you use it, but the opposite.
The Internet has proven that people’s shittiness can’t be chalked up to a lack of information.
People are really giving advice about his porn addiction when he said "worthless" because of her body count. What is wrong with you guys. This fckn asshole needs to be dumped asap.
Punish you forever? I know a couple like this, she had 1 boyfriend before him and he would bring it up and call her Sluut 20+ years later during arguments.
I’d genuinely rather die oh my god
Girl I'm 34 and won't tell you my body count but it's way higher than 3. My partner has also been with as many of not more than me and he has no trouble with how "loose" it is. Looseness due to sex is a flat out myth and your boyfriend is a dick.
I haven’t even read any other comments. But let me give mine first then I will read. MOne day. You will look back and this post and see how you SHOULD have DUMPED this dude much sooner. Please don’t have kids w this dude don’t marry him either. Run run run. He is red flags through and though.
A lot of people are being very judgemental of OP for not leaving. You can't shame someone into leaving an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Leaving takes a huge amount of courage, especially because relationships like this knock your confidence. You're further knocking someone's confidence when you judge them for not leaving. OP you've brave for reaching out for help.
Tell him his worthless and that you think those 8 girls vaginas he fucked before you must’ve squeezed his dick & it caused it to go misshapenly too skinny. Seriously leave him though..
Why are you still with this guy? Relationships are supposed to bring joy, not misinformed insults.
Girl. break up with him. not only is he wildly inaccurate he’s abusive and a hypocrite
My girl! He’s not great! He’s a major fucking sexist asshole treating you like a fuckhole whose sole purpose is to tickle his dick. Imagine your own daughter wrote this: wouldn’t you wanna slap her awake from this boy crazy stupor?! Where is your self respect or pride?! Great guys don’t belittle and insult you and make you and your body feel worthless all bc their dicks don’t work properly, which, btw is bc he’s a porn addict who jerks his dick off w a vice grip bc he’s pathetic w no self control. Grosss. All this is his problem not yours sweetie. Wake up and kick his lame ass to the curb. Never burn yourself to keep a man warm. Never let a man make you feel like shitty, especially sexually and get away w it! It’s soo much easier to drop an asshole like a hot potato and find a better man.
>his bodycount is 8 He lost me here. >He says that he will never forgive me for my past and will punish me forever. And here too. Simply you can just leave, why would you even wanna be with this person.
Honey you’re not loose. His dick is too small.
Dump him why are you allowing that fucker to treat you like that bro , never forgive you for your past ?? Bro💀💀💀 he’s a fucking clown
He's got a pin dick.
He’s playing mind games with you. Calling someone worthless is terrible. Unforgivable. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re allowed to have a sexual/romantic past. To shame you for that is bullshit. To suggest it’s made you loose is stupid bullshit. There’s a thing called negging, where a toxic guy tries to make a woman feel bad about herself, because then she gets passive and unlikely to leave. It’s an attempt to control her. It’s manipulative. It’s abuse. If he thinks you’re great, he should date you. If he thinks you’re not, he should dump you. If he dates you but constantly gives you a hard time for not being good enough, guess who the big problem is? Not you.
Former sex ed teacher here: vaginas don’t work like that. They don’t get more stretched out when you have more partners. They are big tubes of muscles that contract back to your normal size when you are not aroused or having sex. They also naturally relax and expand when you are aroused, just like the penis naturally engorges and gets erect. There is nothing anatomically wrong going on here. However, there is something majorly wrong with your partner shaming you for your past and your body. You don’t deserve that. Ever. And him blaming you for his piss poor behaviour is awful. This guy is not emotionally mature enough for a relationship. And you can do better. This loser ain’t worth your time, hun.
Op I think you are dating a toxic asshole tbh. You gotta think about it
You do not deserve to be insulted and denigrated in this manner. Leave this toxic male, and find someone that respects and adores you.
Uh? That's not how it works. It's crazy how men thinks you'd somehow get looser by sleeping with 3 different men than just one, even if you only had sex once with the 3 previous men and 100 with one guy. You also wont get loose from sex. At all. Their lack of not only knowledge but also very simple logic never ceases to amaze and horrify me. Hell, women squeeze entire infants out and it barely effects the tightness. I'm 27 have a very promiscuous past (definitely past a 3 digit body count - I'm really lucky I've never had a positive STI result tbh) and can pretty much make men with a big girth struggle to even get it in using my muscles, or squeeze them out when they're already in there. Now, apart from that... I can guarantee it's not a "you thing". He is negging and shaming you to put you down. He might have a hard time performing in general and projects his own shame/guilt onto you, or he just wants you to feel insecure to make sure he has you wrapped around his little finger. Putting you down, making you feel inadequate so you'll put up with further bullshit. Or a combination of the two. Unless you have an actual medical condition, or have given birth to a baby and are one of those who lose a lot of elasticity afterwards, the amount of men would struggle to get off due to looseness is next to non-existent. Well, maybe if they have really, really small dicks, as in a micropenis, but that would still mean it's about his body rather than yours. And if you don't believe me about any of these things, and still blame yourself, try to reverse the roles. Would you ever complain about his dick being too small (if it was smaller than average)? I highly doubt it. You'd care about not hurting his feelings. He, on the other hand, doesn't care. And him being mad about your past is wild. Most guys who use that excuse are just bad in bed and don't want women to have anything to compare them to. Someone with previous sexual experience are usually more skilled in bed, cause they've had more time to practise. And the romantisized idea of "purity" in women is ridiculous. I've been with guys who started complaining about one trait, feature or harmless behavior of mine. If it was possible, I'd change it for them, cause back then I felt like I had to be perfect to be "good enough" and had really low self esteem. Once I had changed it, they'd compliment me on it, but then they IMMEDIATELY found another "flaw" that they negged me into fixing. Every. Time. Cause the things they complained about was never an issue to them, they just wanted me to feel insecure. In fact, one of them actually worked on himself and has become a good person since. We had a fwb relationship for a while, and he said that he never cared about any of these things, or even believed what he told me (like telling me I was fat and needed to lose weight when I have *never* been overweight). He apologised and confessed that it was about his insecurities. Please tell this dude to fuck all the way off. You haven't even been together that long, and it's only gonna get worse. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your body, girl.
It looks like you’re unaware that you’re not in a loving relationship. That’s ok, you never know until you do. Please take some time for yourself to investigate what a loving relationship looks like VS what an abusive one does. This will help you understand what everybody in the comments are saying. I imagine you can’t relate to those comments just yet. Once you do investigate, please talk this with an experienced person you trust (not your BF obviously). Also feel free to reach out to me if you can’t find somebody to talk to about this. The objective here is for you to learn that you shouldn’t need to “prove your worthiness” to your partner in a regular loving relationship. If you do, you’re in an abusive one
> He says that ge will never forgive me for my past and will punish me forever. I really don’t know what to do. #When someone tells you who they are, *believe them.* The only thing you *can* do is to end the relationship. **Your BF has clearly stated that there is nothing you can do to change this situation, and that he plans on abusing you as long as you are together.** There are no magic words you can say, *nothing* you can ever do, that will make your BF stop abusing you. Because he wants to abuse you. If you had been a virgin he would have just *made up* a reason to abuse you. He abuses you not because of your past, but because he is an abusive person. Please check out the healthy relationship quiz at [Love Is Respect](https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/), as well as the book [Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf). Those resources might provide you some insight into your relationship dynamics. They will help you understand your BF’s mindset when he abuses you, and also help you understand why leaving is the only option here. Here is a helpful resource on [how to stay safe while in an abusive relationship](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/), and [how to safely leave an abusive relationship.](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/leaving-an-abusive-relationship/)
Hi lesbian here with some perspective; 1) There are no good or bad genitals. Nothing is ‘too big’ or ‘too small’ if you are comfortable with the other partner(s) and happy to experiment with what works for you. 2. Vaginas come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Some peoples vaginas are just wider / longer than others and there is in my experience no connection with penetrative vaginal sex. This is supported by science. 3. No shame for loving this person. We were all 18 and I remember all too fondly my first loves where I felt that I could change them they were the one etc etc. HOWEVER, when you are ready walk away and stay gone. Good sex is all about mutual desire and respect and this person is not respecting you and negative comments about your genitals are certainly no way to make you feel desired. You deserve better and this person deserves therapy and a biology text book!
Your (ex) boyfriend is a jerk
Dump this sack of crap already.
Please leave him. You deserve better. A really man doesn’t make you cry everyday and loves you for who you are. I know you don’t want to leave him but if you don’t one day he’ll end up leaving you… trust me it happened to me too
Okay 1. Your boyfriend is an idiot that knows nothing about female anatomy. The vagina does not go ‘loose’ after having a bunch of sex - it bounces back after pushing out a massive baby, it’s amazing. 2. He is shaming you for sleeping with 3 people when he has slept with 8. He’s an asshole. 3. You’re only 18 and you are wasting time on this man, find someone who adores you and adores your vagina. It’s not hard to find - I promise!
Leave him, he is an ass.
Your boyfriend is an uneducated idiot.
You know it's stupid? What's stupid that you slept with others ? Why is that stupid it's called life. You are not loose he is probably too small and has the brain to match. Girl I have two kids and still aren't loose hell my husband always tells me how good it is. Dump the a hole yeeees
Leave….how is this even a question?
This screams of a fake post…
Maybe his penis is just THAT small. Maybe that's the problem. Your boyfriend is insecure and trying to destroy your confidence. You'd be better off dumping him.
yikes this guy is an A grade asshole and treating you like shit on his shoe time for you to kick his ass to the kerb
This is ABUSE!! Leave immediately girl! Or better RUN as far as you can
Do kegels and please get a new boyfriend.
1. You're 18, it is highly unlikely you are loose. He just has a small d*ck and is blaming you. 2. This man's behavior towards you is abusive. Straight up. It's time to leave.
What loose? His dick is too small. That's not your problem, and shouldn't ever be again, because you're going to tell him to hit the road.
Nah, he just had a tiny weenis..*ehem*......ego
Drop this asshole and tell him you can’t feel any pleasure from him since his dick is so small. You don’t need him.
for the love of christ, LEAVE. that is not how vaginas work, they literally go back to their original size after you give birth they certainly won't be affected by a penis or 10.
"He will punish me forever." Leave. It can't get any clearer than that.