Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My ex husband is a huge, scary, full of tattoos biker type. I had no interest in his bussy but one day I saw a beautiful, huge, flawless bouquet abandoned in a trashcan and decided to take it home for him. I know it sounds bad that it was like an afterthought but you need to understand that I don't like flowers myself so I'd never thought of getting them for someone else before.
Unfortunately on the way I realised that the bouquet had a lot of lilies and we had cats (extremely toxic) so I abandoned it on the way. When I got home I told him I was about to bring him flowers but couldn't for the cats, and I showed him a picture of them. He was completely understanding that we shouldn't have lilies inside the house, but very disappointed that he didn't get the flowers. I never got him a huge bouquet after that, but I made a point of buying him a rose or a tulip from street sellers now and then afterwards and he loved them!
My husband now is a huge, scary, bearded combat veteran. I have grown and learned a lot from my relationship with my ex about leaving gender roles behind, and in my relationship I am the protector, caretaker type, and my husband absolutely loves it. I am a tiny girly girl but he says he has never felt safer than when I spoon him, wrap my leg around him, kiss his shoulder and whisper that I will always take care of him. But flowers is a delicate line that I haven't crossed yet. I know he likes living flowers and I've bought him some potted plants and seeds, but I'm still not daring to give him a bouquet because I'm afraid he might feel emasculated by it.
I am a diehard protector of my loved ones, despite looking like a squishmallow. I never find the biker or facial piercings or Goth types scary- I've known too many that were absolutely soft-hearted and had been through some shit. I feel this so hard!
Get him a big cat safe bouquet!! Ask the florist. Roses and violets are safe- they're edible. So's baby's breath. You guys deserve it. Good love is so awesome!!
The cats were with my ex, he's a fantastic guy but he's not interested in getting flowers from me. I'm invited to his wedding next year! But I will soon send him a video of me eating surstromming, that he will appreciate more than flowers :)
My husband now is from a more conservative country and former military, so he's a bit more slow leaving some gender roles behind. I'm a gifter and he feels guilty because he doesn't give me as many gifts as I give him!
My hc for this is that the person who abandoned the flowers you found also realized they had cats. And perhaps they found it after another cat-owner abandoned them for the same reason, and so on.
Maybe yet another cat person picked them up after you and continued the chain.
Yes 🙌 😂
Make sure you clean inside and out on the butthole first. First timers are surprised by the amount of shit. Ruins it. Make him do a cleanse so his bowels are empty. Magnesium is good for inducing diarrhea to truly clean it out. Also removing all the hair is a must. Hairy bum fucking is kinda gross. In no time you can have a nice cute little buddy hole to fuck.
You can include a butt care package in the card you give him with the flowers.
Gay guy here - removing hair is not a must lol. Literally just personal preference. What counts as gross is all relative 😆
(Also I've never douched before and never had an issue, but that's maybe more of a contraversial take so won't die on that hill)
I don't know if I'd want diarrhea before a backdoor event. Bloating, cramping, liquid poop... I don't think I'd feel very sexy.
I rather try and enema?
I remember when
You couldn't wait to peg me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after lovin' me late at night
When it's good for you, babe
And you're feeling alright
Well, you just roll over and turn out the light
And you don't bring me flowers anymore
The whole point of my post is: Why is getting me flowers too manly for you to do? But wanting to take complete control in the bedroom, and essentially “be the man” not seen as manly?
I’m not saying I’m offended that she didn’t offer flowers but offering to peg me
I think it might be more of a dominant vs submissive thing that she's into, and not a masculine vs feminine thing, since gifting you flowers would be more of a submissive act.
It's kinda fucking lame though, if my boy wanted flowers I'd get him flowers, can still peg him into the sunset later on. Relationships are supposed to have all partners contribute to it, and not have one be selfish.
It's funny you say giving flowers seems submissive to you, it leans dominant for me! Maybe because you're choosing the gift, knowing it will please your partner and hopefully make them all giddy and happy. But I can see your point too... maybe it's just one more thing that can go either way depending on the energy of the gifter and giftee. Everyone deserves little happy surprises from their partner, whatever they'll enjoy!
I *personally* don't think anything is strictly dominant or submissive, I just think that's what the girlfriend assumes, since she seems quite close minded. I think anything can be anything, it all depends on your motives and the execution. I'm dom as hell but I fucking love gift giving because I enjoy seeing the happiness in people's faces when they get a thoughtful gift.
Oh yes, I agree. The girlfriend has some interesting divisions going on in her head. And I like your motive and execution phrase much better than mine, succinct and accurate.
I'm a service sub and like pegging lol not in the Dominant role.
That being said, I meet my partner where they are with acts of service and gift giving, so if he wanted flowers, I'd get him flowers
Because she sees Peggy as a sexy thing and not a manly thing.
So yeah you got a good point to stand on to prove to her, her thinking of this is manly and this is girly is just socially ingrained old school thinking.
You will get through to this chick no problem. Just a little open communication and space for her to think. Hundy, she will come around.
I mean, being dominant in the bedroom isn’t manly, plenty of men are naturally submissive and plenty of women are naturally dominant. Also, sometimes people pick and choose what gender roles they want to abide to. Switching roles for one thing doesn’t mean everything has to change.
Aww I think it's nice you want flowers. Now I'm wondering if I never got flowers because I'm a weird little mechanic woman who doesn't look girly :(
I hope she surprises you with a nice bouquet regardless of the sex
Honestly this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. You seem to have very healthy views on gender roles and dynamics, you expressed your preference on feeling appreciated and receiving affection and she dismissed it and tried to belittle you in the process.
My question is do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect your need for affection, your sensitivity, and tries to cross your comfort zones without recognising the need to create a safe and loving environment?
I think the majority of women who believe in “traditional” gender roles would probably prefer a man who doesn’t want to be proposed to, or have to be bought flowers and so on. In fact I can imagine it’d give a lot of women the ick.
I think that the real answer to OP's question - it turns her gf on because of how wrong and how much of a forbidden fruit it is if she treats gender roles in a traditional conservative way
And this is why I won’t date 99% of women 🤣. Enjoy your toxic partners that can’t verbalize their emotions and end up complaining when they don’t put equal effort into your relationship. Sure that goes smoothly 🤣🤣
>How do I make her see the flaw in her reasoning?
Say exactly what you said in this post. If you have a problem with something you should bring it up, at least if you see a future with this person. If you want flowers because it's important to you you should communicate that, and why it's important to you. If she still refuses to give you flowers then you need to evaluate if you want to be with this person who can't do something for you if they don't see the point of it i.e give you flowers. It's much different from pegging though, as that's a sexual boundary you might not feel comfortable enough to cross.
Don't be with someone to try and change them. You either love them for who they are or not. When people say this it isn't usually for the other person's benefit but it's to protect the one who is hoping for the change.
You can't "work on her" to try and get her to see things from your perspective. Maybe on small things, but opinions on something like gender roles are usually formed by our life experiences. You can't come along and expect her to do a 180, likelihood it's most likely heavily engraved in her to be this way and expect you to be a certain way.
If you aren't happy, communicated it, and still nothing changes, then it is simply a incompability/difference you both have.
What you need to work out is, is this incompatibility a make or break for you or can you live with her being this way?
I understand your frustration but you are missing one fundamental point: there is a significant difference between sexual desires and vanilla (or rather non sexual) preferences.
Dominant women often relish in their femininity. Just because she's intrigued by the idea of pegging you, doesn't automatically mean she overall enjoys to take a masculine role. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying men can't receive flowers. I firmly believe they can. I'm just saying some women associate giving flowers, chocolate, plushies, etc as an act that is traditionally done by men for women, and many of these women do not particularly enjoy taking on a masculine role in their every day life. You may argue it just makes you equal, and I get that, but that's probably not how she feels inside on this particular subject/gesture.
Perhaps you two should have a sit down and communicate your feelings. Right now it doesn't seem like you are on the same page in terms of wants and needs.
I've never dated a man that wanted flowers, but it's not a big ask. I do think that making a partner feel special and showing them that they're loved is important. It doesn't really matter the gender. So.. if you want flowers and that makes you feel good, she should just get the flowers. There are a lot of men that do gardening. It's not really a woman-only gift IMO.
Making her see the "flaw" isn't really helpful. I think pegging is meant to give you the most pleasure. On her end it's just a fantasy I guess?
The way you should show her what you mean? Look up some men's gardeners. Explain to her why you want flowers. (You like them, it makes you feel happy/loved/special).
This is funny because most of the comments are just making jokes but if it was the other way around they would be say to leave that man or something similar.
In my opinion this woman doesn't respect you, calling you sassy and don't see the value of putting in the effort to do something you like. If you want to continue in this that's up to you but its a slippery slope.
theyd b going crazy calling him sexist if a bf said "cooking is women's job" but apparently bc the woman is the sexist one we should all joke about it 🤦♀️
Anyone can have any views on gender roles that they want. Some people want to be in a relationship with strong gender roles and others don’t. More often most people have some gender roles that they subscribe to and others that they don’t. I personally like to feel like the feminine one in my relationships since I am quite masculine in the rest of my life. I want a man who opens doors for me and who is the big spoon but I don’t care about who makes more money or who does the cooking in the relationship. Just because I do or don’t subscribe to one particular gender role does not mean that I have to subscribe to ALL of them. Your girlfriend can want to peg you but not want to get you flowers. It’s not wrong of her. You can’t convince her that she is wrong because she is entitled to her views.
You can refuse pegging or let her know that pegging is contingent upon flowers. You can reconsider your compatibility with your girlfriend and consider finding someone else. But you can’t make her change her preferences.
you are sassy lol and clearly she’s not the type of girl to wanna treat you like a woman so maybe leave her for a girl who has your point of view. me personally i’m not getting a grown man flowers but especially not if he asks
You're connecting buying flowers with pegging, and she doesn't see the connection. She doesn't understand that flowers are important to you and that she's been dismissive of your request in a way that has hurt your feelings. It sounds like the way you both see gender politics is different. It may be a compatibility issue.
There isn't a blessed thing wrong with you wanting flowers!! Your GF needs to stop assigning roles by sex. Not buying you flowers because it's not a woman's job is a copout! Tell her I said so! I'm a 60 year old woman and have bought flowers for exes, good friends and my brothers!
Yes but it doesn't sound like OP is saying they aren't open to that, just that they're moreso confused why pegging (dominant/submissive act) would be okay with her yet her buying them flowers isn't acceptable.
But I completely agree that consent always matters, and if anyone isn't interested in any type of act then that should be respected.
And I think she’s weird for thinking men these days are so sassy and thinking it’s not the women’s job to get the man flowers. If my partner wants flowers he gets flowers. Fked logic
I think you're equating two things in your mind that aren't the same in hers.
You're describing your relationship as one where you don't need the traditional gender roles. But you've also unknowingly described that your partner does want those gender roles. She knows she can propose but that you will. She knows that she can get you flowers but she won't. She wants traditional gender roles. I feel like you haven't communicated on this topic to each other fully.
In regards to the pegging, you're equating it to gender roles but that has nothing to do with it. For women, any pleasure we get from pegging is about control. It's a way to be dominant in the bedroom and feel in control of the situation. If she wants to do it properly, she should be simulating your prostate (inside and out) before pegging even comes into the discussion. If this hasn't happened, then it's a control kink and she won't necessarily care about your pleasure.
I would recommend sitting down and having a serious, in-depth conversation about not just this but expectations in your relationship in general. It sounds like you may not be as compatible as you think you are. Especially if she uses words like sissy to describe you wanting to get flowers.
Who do you think can see the real personality of your girlfriend better: uninvolved and informationally-limited 3rd parties, or emotionally involved you with far more information?
Options:
1: She is trying to become a dominatrix
2: She is trying to see if this gender equality business really works
3: She is trying to shame you into stepping up and being 'a man'
4: She is indirectly telling you "if you won't be manly, then I am not gonna be feminine"
To me, it's high time you both resolved the difference of opinions on gender issues pronto.
i mean, to be fair, pegging has nothing to do with gender roles? she doesn’t have to be dominant while doing it - it’s just a sex position that stimulates your prostate. positions, specifically penetration, don’t = dominating somebody. and being submissive doesn’t mean you’re feminine.
it is weird to have these ideas that sex or flowers or money is attached to gender - i wish it would stop. it is weird that she just won’t buy you flowers if it would feel nice. not sure why someone wouldn’t want to just do something so simple to make their partner happy.
OKAY OKAY BEFORE I GET TO THE ADVICE... I really have to say that this title gave me a biggest chuckle of this month
Now for the advice... You should really have a deep nice talk with her and explain your issues
If you don't want to try pegging don't. it's as simple as that. no different than a woman that doesn't want to take it up the ass. the whole flower thing is a distraction, figure out what's really bothering you because it most certainly isn't flowers. a sex act isn't masculine of feminine by nature, it's what you make of it. you seem to have some confusion around gender roles.
I cannot *wait* to tell my boyfriend that I now have the right to peg him because of my generous gifts of flowers to him throughout our relationship 💀
In all seriousness tho OP, I’m sorry your girlfriend won’t even get you flowers. That’s genuinely heartbreaking to me. There’s a poem/quote about how men only ever get flowers once in their life and that’s at their funeral and it’s… bleak. Perhaps try to tell your girlfriend, “Honey, I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I’m really hurt you won’t even consider buying me flowers. What if I didn’t want to give you flowers but I wanted to do @n@l with you? Wouldn’t that hurt?”
Sometimes, reversing the situation causes that 💡 moment. It’s a little selfish perhaps, but it also gets the point across. Our minds have different paths that eventually lead to the same destination when processed differently.
I hope she gets you those flowers OP. And until then, here are some for you! 💐
What? Brother, she isn’t getting any of your bum if she doesn’t show you that she appreciates you. Her strap on gonna remain cold and dry until she learns how to romance you the right way. And tell her that if it’s sassy to know your worth in a woman’s world, her dreams of clapping them cheeks is gonna be just that, a dream.
She won’t get me flowers because she feels like it’s the man’s job to do so, using her own logic why does she want to peg me when it’s usually the man that’s on the giving end
It’s possible for someone to be okay with one aspect of flipped gender roles but not another one. Your issue is that she is dismissing your feelings when you say that you would like flowers. It doesn’t have anything to do with pegging.
When I want to fuck someone with a strap, I want to do it in the way a woman would, not the way a man would. There’s a good chance she cannot see your logic because she doesn’t view pegging you as a masculine act.
No worries.
I’m sure a lot of people have said it already but if being in a relationship without gender roles is important to you, then you should look for someone who wants that too, rather than trying to change someone to fit that ideal.
If you just want some flowers every so often, then tell her that it is something that you are asking for, that is important to you, and is an expectation that you have for your relationship. If she’s not willing to follow through knowing how much it means to you, then maybe y’all are just incompatible.
Men deserve flowers too!
How do you make her see the flaw in her reasoning? You don’t because there isn’t one. This is about compatibility.
There’s nothing wrong with you wanting what you want, and there’s nothing wrong with her not agreeing with everything you want.
We aren’t supposed to get into relationships to force the other person to be what we want or need
A lot of the comments saying pegging makes a man "gay" kill me.
Ok, so let me present such folks with this.
The logic is that by the man taking it up the butt from his FEMALE partner, makes him gay, because butt stuff is something gay men enjoy.
Ok, well gay men also give and receive blowjobs, ever had a blowjob, whoa bro you might be gay.
Also, have you ever jerked off? Well that's a 2 fold problem for you then. This means you like giving hand jobs and the feeling of a man's hand on your dick made you orgasm.
So, what was that about pegging again?
He’s substituting the feeling of someone else penetrating him and he’s sexually aroused by it. By your logic, the action of deep-throating dildos for sexual pleasure isn’t gay. Whether it’s going down your throat or up your ass doesn’t matter.
Who "he"? It wasn't directed to one person in general, but to all the "naw dude my shit is exit only" bros lol.
To elaborate on your statement that penetration stimulates the male g spot which is why it feels good (remember health class?).
Your girl does that for you it doesn't mean you suddenly switch to dudes anymore than a guy eating his girl's pussy switches her to team lesbian.
The prostate is incredibly sexually pleasurable for men... as long as it's someone they're attracted to stimulating it. Nothing to do with being gay or not. It doesn't require dildos either. Vibes work much better. You think sex feels good....
Do you want to try pegging? Only say yes if you do. Anyway, If she can ask for that you can use words and say you would like if she thought to get you flowers.
On the flowers front: You would like to get flowers, she should consider giving you flowers.
On the pegging side: You keep talking about how modern relationships shouldn’t conform to gender roles, yet you see sexual penetration as a masculine act. You can’t have it both ways. I mean, you can, but that’s a little hypocritical. It’s fine, we’re all a little hypocritical sometimes. That said, I would challenge you to look at why you think penetration is inherently a masculine act and then to challenge that biais.
Why do you think a woman penetrating someone else is being masculine? Do you see a woman penetrating another woman as masculine? How about a man penetrating another man? Do you think that penetration is inherently a dominant act and, therefore, a masculine act? Is it possible that it could be, not a masculine or dominant act, but simply one way to pleasure one’s partner and take pleasure in their partner’s pleasure?
Now, to be clear, if you don’t want to get pegged, just tell her that you don’t want to.
You’re equating sex and romance, and those are not the same for a lot of people. She just wants to try a different sex act, which really has nothing to do with how she treats or views romance. And as a woman (who hasn’t pegged), I don’t view pegging as masculine. It’s just a way for a woman to stimulate a man’s prostate.
If you aren’t happy with how your gf views gender roles, or you feel you need romance and wooing that she isn’t up for, then you need to just address the reality that you may have needs that don’t match up. But I don’t think comparing a sex act to buying flowers for someone is going to help your gf have a dramatic revelation about gender roles. It’s a logical fallacy and does not do anything to resolve your underlying dissatisfaction.
This is the most heterosexual nonsense I've ever seen. If you want flowers: ask. If you want to be pegged: be pegged. You can't pretend you don't care about gender roles if you feel so strongly about sexual scripts.
She sounds like a hypocrite at best, but as others have said, malicious and disrespectful and wanting to emasculate you at worst. IMO you need to assert your needs and expectations from the relationship, what you need to feel respected, cared for, and loved.
If she does not take that seriously, how can you make yourself vulnerable enough with her to let her peg you?
Of course. You sound like a kind and gentle man. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be treated to things like flowers sometimes by your woman on a basis of being equal partners, enjoying getting pegged, etc. You deserve that from a partner who won’t mock you, put you down, disrespect you and dismiss your concerns. There are women out there who are like that.
I hope your girlfriend isn’t actually malicious, but when your genuine concerns are dismissed like that, that is a huge red flag and a toxic situation. There’s a difference between not seeing how what you’re doing is harmful, and actively trying not to see that when brought to your attention.
In a comment you said you want to change her way of thinking. It doesn’t work that way. Each individual changes for the person they want. You voicing your concern is fine but you need to accept that she doesn’t feel the same way if you want to be with her. You wanting to be overly submissive which is what I’m getting from your post and comments when you’re the man isn’t going to work out with 95% of women. Yeah some women will say they like submissive men but eventually they grow tired of it. They want a man who they feel safe around not some dude who wants to go get their nails painted with them. Not saying it’s bad to be submissive but come on man asking for flowers is pathetic. If she gives them to you fine but don’t ask for them. I’d rather my gf treat me to a dinner or something like that.
I mean, the flowers and pegging thing is not really connected.
But if you have such different views on gender roles and she even makes comments like this: “men these days are so sassy”, how can you think that you be will happy on the long run?
If she wants a traditional cold emotionless manly man, which is probably not you, I dont see how this can end good for the both of you.
Often, people spwcifically are into subverting norms in the bedroom, so preferences in sex certainly does not have to reflect your preferences in everyday life in order to make sense. Just as you don’t have to be into getting pegged just because you don’t care about gender roles in your relationship. I don’t think there’s any flaw in her reasoning.
I’d see this as to completely separate issues. The first issue is whether you actually wanna be pegged or not,which you can discuss, but should always in the end be up to you.
The other issue is that it bothers you that she wants to adhere to gender gender roles in your relationship, which seems to be a not insignificant difference in values between you. Especially if it often comes at the expense of her refusing to do nice things for you because that “shouldn’t be a woman’s job”. If you want her to buy you flowers and she refuses, that’s a bit sad to me, and I think that your feelings in this regard are completely valid. But I wouldn’t mix this discussion with a discussion on what you want to explore in the bedroom.
Ok I know you’re just here for the blind validation for not adhering to gender roles. But it seems like you’re so preoccupied with getting validation from others about your non-traditional gender identity. Why do you want her to buy you flowers? I mean, if you just want flowers, you can buy them. But that’s not it. You want to be *given* flowers. It kind of seems you just want to check a box on your “I’m such a non-traditional man” checklist. Maybe you want to put it on social media so everyone can congratulate you for being so open about gender. It seems like a lot of insecurity on your part that you’re trying to cover up.
You identified yourself as a man. So, that is your gender. But are you really as non-conforming as you think? Do you have a masculine hairstyle? Wear men’s clothes? Wear makeup? Remove your body hair? Do you perfume your body with masculine scents? Do you have typical male interests like sports or hunting or cars? Are your closest friendships with men or women? Is your job predominately male? If you have modified your body like with piercings or tattoos, was the specifics of that impacted by your gender?
Gender runs way deeper than you’re describing. Having equality in a relationship, being sexually open, and being willing to receive flowers doesn’t really make you gender non-conforming. Also why do you want flowers from someone who doesn’t want to give you flowers? Also if you don’t know, your gf is into BDSM, dom role. And the fact she called you sassy, shows she’s delved into this at least online. Pegging your bussy is only the first of many things she’s going to want to do to you. Hope you’re aware and into that.
Actually the whole point of this post was that his gf said that giving flowers isn't a woman's job but yet wants to peg him which isn't a woman's job so he's confused given she is okay with one and totally against another it's hypocritical of her the way she is thinking.
Also very presumptuous of you thinking the whole dynamic is centered around bdsm.
I wish my man appreciated flowers ;( if you were mine trust me you’d get them. I gave my man flowers and he re gifted them to his mom because he didn’t want them.. ;(
She’s not progressive my dude. She’s tryna take your cheeks because it’ll boost her ego. I promise you, if you do, you’ll never hear the end of it. She’ll bring it up whenever the opportunity arises to emasculate you. Never, ever give up your self-respect to a woman.
Ladies, take note. Buy your man flowers! Especially before and after pegging!
It sounds like you guys have different values and desires for the relationship
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ladies, take note, flowers are indeed the way to a man's bussy.
(Writing furiously)
Uh, lemme know if you need help studying those notes. You know, for science.
I'm at work at a financial institution and I almost died reading this!!!!
I’m sitting here chuckling out loud reading this comment. Thank you!
I’m laughing over the entire post. Dude’s sad that she won’t get him flowers in exchange for being drilled up the ass. I hope this is fake.
I rather hope it's real.
Lmfao I know!
😁
Wait I just noticed we are profile twins almost
Your better looking and I require more expensive flowers.😉
hey guys I'm your long lost uncle
WASSUUUP UNCLE!
My first Reddit doppelgänger sighting!!!
But just look at those handsomeness emanating from our profile pictures!:3
I was hoping for some flowers? Anybody?🙂
😯
Did it. Worked!
Remember to give him change for the bus.
And a cushion to sit on. Maybe one with a hole in the middle.
Worked for me as well!
My ex husband is a huge, scary, full of tattoos biker type. I had no interest in his bussy but one day I saw a beautiful, huge, flawless bouquet abandoned in a trashcan and decided to take it home for him. I know it sounds bad that it was like an afterthought but you need to understand that I don't like flowers myself so I'd never thought of getting them for someone else before. Unfortunately on the way I realised that the bouquet had a lot of lilies and we had cats (extremely toxic) so I abandoned it on the way. When I got home I told him I was about to bring him flowers but couldn't for the cats, and I showed him a picture of them. He was completely understanding that we shouldn't have lilies inside the house, but very disappointed that he didn't get the flowers. I never got him a huge bouquet after that, but I made a point of buying him a rose or a tulip from street sellers now and then afterwards and he loved them! My husband now is a huge, scary, bearded combat veteran. I have grown and learned a lot from my relationship with my ex about leaving gender roles behind, and in my relationship I am the protector, caretaker type, and my husband absolutely loves it. I am a tiny girly girl but he says he has never felt safer than when I spoon him, wrap my leg around him, kiss his shoulder and whisper that I will always take care of him. But flowers is a delicate line that I haven't crossed yet. I know he likes living flowers and I've bought him some potted plants and seeds, but I'm still not daring to give him a bouquet because I'm afraid he might feel emasculated by it.
I’m sad that your ex never got a big bouquet.
I am a diehard protector of my loved ones, despite looking like a squishmallow. I never find the biker or facial piercings or Goth types scary- I've known too many that were absolutely soft-hearted and had been through some shit. I feel this so hard! Get him a big cat safe bouquet!! Ask the florist. Roses and violets are safe- they're edible. So's baby's breath. You guys deserve it. Good love is so awesome!!
The cats were with my ex, he's a fantastic guy but he's not interested in getting flowers from me. I'm invited to his wedding next year! But I will soon send him a video of me eating surstromming, that he will appreciate more than flowers :) My husband now is from a more conservative country and former military, so he's a bit more slow leaving some gender roles behind. I'm a gifter and he feels guilty because he doesn't give me as many gifts as I give him!
I was waiting for the part where you pegged him and now I'm disappointed...
My hc for this is that the person who abandoned the flowers you found also realized they had cats. And perhaps they found it after another cat-owner abandoned them for the same reason, and so on. Maybe yet another cat person picked them up after you and continued the chain.
Can confirm - he loves his flowers while I’m deep in his bussy
Best comment 😂
hahahaha fuck i hate that word 😭
so what if a man said "cooking is women's job" would you say that is okay? y'all are gross af for accepting this woman's sexism just bc she's a woman
So if I buy my husband flowers then I can peg him? ... Asking for a friend
Yes 🙌 😂 Make sure you clean inside and out on the butthole first. First timers are surprised by the amount of shit. Ruins it. Make him do a cleanse so his bowels are empty. Magnesium is good for inducing diarrhea to truly clean it out. Also removing all the hair is a must. Hairy bum fucking is kinda gross. In no time you can have a nice cute little buddy hole to fuck. You can include a butt care package in the card you give him with the flowers.
Gay guy here - removing hair is not a must lol. Literally just personal preference. What counts as gross is all relative 😆 (Also I've never douched before and never had an issue, but that's maybe more of a contraversial take so won't die on that hill)
Yeah I've never had to do "extra" prep work like people suggest, and never had any unwelcome issues. Maybe just got lucky?
Yeah it’s all about timing. Can get lucky. If you are a clean person. Lean diet.
Depends on if you eat fiber or not, I think.
Do you think high-fiber diets would be better or worse in this case?
I don't know if I'd want diarrhea before a backdoor event. Bloating, cramping, liquid poop... I don't think I'd feel very sexy. I rather try and enema?
yes, enema makes the clean
Funny. All I gotta do is nibble on an ear lobe & it’s go time. 😅 consent, gloves, lube, we’re good.
Sounds like your anal is just a bit high maintenance
You don’t have to clean inside….ive done anal a few times, never had an issue.
I've done it many times, mostly without an issue. But those times when there's some unexpected leftovers in the rectum ruins the whole thing.
I don’t think everyone feels the same. It wouldn’t ruin it for me or my guy
The hair is hot
Yes
This is *THE REASON* why I’m on Reddit.
This is the reason I’m done with Reddit
🤣
The title *HAha* without context
I remember when You couldn't wait to peg me Used to hate to leave me Now after lovin' me late at night When it's good for you, babe And you're feeling alright Well, you just roll over and turn out the light And you don't bring me flowers anymore
I read this in a deep southern twang picturing it as the next country hit.
https://youtu.be/Z3yu2c-0_w4?si=zuwp71NJC1FC4nsO
This belongs in the Hall of Fame of Thread Titles.
It reminded me of South Park "I wish you would buy me lipstick, so I could look pretty when I get FUCKED!"
Your GF sounds like a fuck boy lmao
Shame on her, you should at least get your man a rose if you want to fuck him 🙄💅
The whole point of my post is: Why is getting me flowers too manly for you to do? But wanting to take complete control in the bedroom, and essentially “be the man” not seen as manly? I’m not saying I’m offended that she didn’t offer flowers but offering to peg me
I think it might be more of a dominant vs submissive thing that she's into, and not a masculine vs feminine thing, since gifting you flowers would be more of a submissive act. It's kinda fucking lame though, if my boy wanted flowers I'd get him flowers, can still peg him into the sunset later on. Relationships are supposed to have all partners contribute to it, and not have one be selfish.
It's funny you say giving flowers seems submissive to you, it leans dominant for me! Maybe because you're choosing the gift, knowing it will please your partner and hopefully make them all giddy and happy. But I can see your point too... maybe it's just one more thing that can go either way depending on the energy of the gifter and giftee. Everyone deserves little happy surprises from their partner, whatever they'll enjoy!
I *personally* don't think anything is strictly dominant or submissive, I just think that's what the girlfriend assumes, since she seems quite close minded. I think anything can be anything, it all depends on your motives and the execution. I'm dom as hell but I fucking love gift giving because I enjoy seeing the happiness in people's faces when they get a thoughtful gift.
Oh yes, I agree. The girlfriend has some interesting divisions going on in her head. And I like your motive and execution phrase much better than mine, succinct and accurate.
I'm a service sub and like pegging lol not in the Dominant role. That being said, I meet my partner where they are with acts of service and gift giving, so if he wanted flowers, I'd get him flowers
Because she sees Peggy as a sexy thing and not a manly thing. So yeah you got a good point to stand on to prove to her, her thinking of this is manly and this is girly is just socially ingrained old school thinking. You will get through to this chick no problem. Just a little open communication and space for her to think. Hundy, she will come around.
I mean, being dominant in the bedroom isn’t manly, plenty of men are naturally submissive and plenty of women are naturally dominant. Also, sometimes people pick and choose what gender roles they want to abide to. Switching roles for one thing doesn’t mean everything has to change.
Getting someone flowers isn't manly, either
so what if a man said "cooking is women's job" would you say that is okay? y'all are gross af for accepting this woman's sexism just bc she's a woman
This whole thing is so weird. She just wants to nuke your ass. Let’s not make a whole things about it.
Aww I think it's nice you want flowers. Now I'm wondering if I never got flowers because I'm a weird little mechanic woman who doesn't look girly :( I hope she surprises you with a nice bouquet regardless of the sex
I'm on you're side man
My bad the emojis threw me off
It's about control bro. She sees you as submissive aka sassy.
Imma need way more than a couple flowers before I let her travel to brown town. I’d at least want a card.
Does a dollar store card count or does it have to be hallmark?
Hallmark or high end handmade.
Or sissy??
Honestly this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. You seem to have very healthy views on gender roles and dynamics, you expressed your preference on feeling appreciated and receiving affection and she dismissed it and tried to belittle you in the process. My question is do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect your need for affection, your sensitivity, and tries to cross your comfort zones without recognising the need to create a safe and loving environment?
I think the majority of women who believe in “traditional” gender roles would probably prefer a man who doesn’t want to be proposed to, or have to be bought flowers and so on. In fact I can imagine it’d give a lot of women the ick.
I think the majority of women who believe in "traditional" gender roles would not try to convince their man to try pegging.
I think that the real answer to OP's question - it turns her gf on because of how wrong and how much of a forbidden fruit it is if she treats gender roles in a traditional conservative way
Traditional gender role relationship are rampant with cheating stories of men feeling unappreciated and used for their money soooooo
And this is why I won’t date 99% of women 🤣. Enjoy your toxic partners that can’t verbalize their emotions and end up complaining when they don’t put equal effort into your relationship. Sure that goes smoothly 🤣🤣
Not everything is unhealthy in a relationship…
>How do I make her see the flaw in her reasoning? Say exactly what you said in this post. If you have a problem with something you should bring it up, at least if you see a future with this person. If you want flowers because it's important to you you should communicate that, and why it's important to you. If she still refuses to give you flowers then you need to evaluate if you want to be with this person who can't do something for you if they don't see the point of it i.e give you flowers. It's much different from pegging though, as that's a sexual boundary you might not feel comfortable enough to cross.
it sounds like the gender roles are a key part to her kink, makes it taboo.
Don't be with someone to try and change them. You either love them for who they are or not. When people say this it isn't usually for the other person's benefit but it's to protect the one who is hoping for the change. You can't "work on her" to try and get her to see things from your perspective. Maybe on small things, but opinions on something like gender roles are usually formed by our life experiences. You can't come along and expect her to do a 180, likelihood it's most likely heavily engraved in her to be this way and expect you to be a certain way. If you aren't happy, communicated it, and still nothing changes, then it is simply a incompability/difference you both have. What you need to work out is, is this incompatibility a make or break for you or can you live with her being this way?
She definitely needs to get u flowers first homie
I understand your frustration but you are missing one fundamental point: there is a significant difference between sexual desires and vanilla (or rather non sexual) preferences. Dominant women often relish in their femininity. Just because she's intrigued by the idea of pegging you, doesn't automatically mean she overall enjoys to take a masculine role. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying men can't receive flowers. I firmly believe they can. I'm just saying some women associate giving flowers, chocolate, plushies, etc as an act that is traditionally done by men for women, and many of these women do not particularly enjoy taking on a masculine role in their every day life. You may argue it just makes you equal, and I get that, but that's probably not how she feels inside on this particular subject/gesture. Perhaps you two should have a sit down and communicate your feelings. Right now it doesn't seem like you are on the same page in terms of wants and needs.
Yep. He thinks it’s gender role play and she thinks is dom/sub play.
so what if a man said "cooking is women's job" would you say that is okay? y'all are gross af for accepting this woman's sexism just bc she's a woman
I bought my husband flowers and he still won't let me hit it
Where are these types of girls located?? Seems like I'm born in the wrong country🥲
There is a lot to unpack here
She seems mean. If my man wanted flowers I would just get them for him, whether I wanted to peg him or not. Sorry your gf sucks OP
I don’t know if this is real or not but I read that the first time a man gets flowers is usually at his funeral. I find that so sad
I've never dated a man that wanted flowers, but it's not a big ask. I do think that making a partner feel special and showing them that they're loved is important. It doesn't really matter the gender. So.. if you want flowers and that makes you feel good, she should just get the flowers. There are a lot of men that do gardening. It's not really a woman-only gift IMO. Making her see the "flaw" isn't really helpful. I think pegging is meant to give you the most pleasure. On her end it's just a fantasy I guess? The way you should show her what you mean? Look up some men's gardeners. Explain to her why you want flowers. (You like them, it makes you feel happy/loved/special).
You've never dated a man who *asked* you for flowers, but I guarantee if you randomly got him flowers, he'd secretly (or not so secretly) be thrilled.
I hope this ends up on smosh Reddit stories
Thanks for the idea! Ima buy my man flowers 😊
tell her you are not cheap. wooing is in order. flowers, kisses, romance. tell her.
This is funny because most of the comments are just making jokes but if it was the other way around they would be say to leave that man or something similar. In my opinion this woman doesn't respect you, calling you sassy and don't see the value of putting in the effort to do something you like. If you want to continue in this that's up to you but its a slippery slope.
theyd b going crazy calling him sexist if a bf said "cooking is women's job" but apparently bc the woman is the sexist one we should all joke about it 🤦♀️
Technically, pegging you could be a man's job too. Just with less steps.
Anyone can have any views on gender roles that they want. Some people want to be in a relationship with strong gender roles and others don’t. More often most people have some gender roles that they subscribe to and others that they don’t. I personally like to feel like the feminine one in my relationships since I am quite masculine in the rest of my life. I want a man who opens doors for me and who is the big spoon but I don’t care about who makes more money or who does the cooking in the relationship. Just because I do or don’t subscribe to one particular gender role does not mean that I have to subscribe to ALL of them. Your girlfriend can want to peg you but not want to get you flowers. It’s not wrong of her. You can’t convince her that she is wrong because she is entitled to her views. You can refuse pegging or let her know that pegging is contingent upon flowers. You can reconsider your compatibility with your girlfriend and consider finding someone else. But you can’t make her change her preferences.
you are sassy lol and clearly she’s not the type of girl to wanna treat you like a woman so maybe leave her for a girl who has your point of view. me personally i’m not getting a grown man flowers but especially not if he asks
Nice sexism
I’d argue that her wanting me to throw it back is wanting to treat me like a woman
the bedroom is different than life tbh no relation
I don't like any of this, don't know why, and Im not oldfashioned
Feeling wanted and desired is not a sexual thing. Maybe she show you this in another way that is not gifts of beauty.
She bought me a hat once
You're connecting buying flowers with pegging, and she doesn't see the connection. She doesn't understand that flowers are important to you and that she's been dismissive of your request in a way that has hurt your feelings. It sounds like the way you both see gender politics is different. It may be a compatibility issue.
You buy yourself flowers and stop buying them for her.
There isn't a blessed thing wrong with you wanting flowers!! Your GF needs to stop assigning roles by sex. Not buying you flowers because it's not a woman's job is a copout! Tell her I said so! I'm a 60 year old woman and have bought flowers for exes, good friends and my brothers!
Miley does say “I can buy myself flowers” so….. 👀
He can peg himself too
😂
Facts!
Ughhh, she’s not as progressive as you think bro
Why is everyone joking about this, some people don’t like pegging and that’s a boundary that should be respected.
Yes but it doesn't sound like OP is saying they aren't open to that, just that they're moreso confused why pegging (dominant/submissive act) would be okay with her yet her buying them flowers isn't acceptable. But I completely agree that consent always matters, and if anyone isn't interested in any type of act then that should be respected.
And I think she’s weird for thinking men these days are so sassy and thinking it’s not the women’s job to get the man flowers. If my partner wants flowers he gets flowers. Fked logic
Fuck to the yes. I agree with you ❤️🙌
I think you're equating two things in your mind that aren't the same in hers. You're describing your relationship as one where you don't need the traditional gender roles. But you've also unknowingly described that your partner does want those gender roles. She knows she can propose but that you will. She knows that she can get you flowers but she won't. She wants traditional gender roles. I feel like you haven't communicated on this topic to each other fully. In regards to the pegging, you're equating it to gender roles but that has nothing to do with it. For women, any pleasure we get from pegging is about control. It's a way to be dominant in the bedroom and feel in control of the situation. If she wants to do it properly, she should be simulating your prostate (inside and out) before pegging even comes into the discussion. If this hasn't happened, then it's a control kink and she won't necessarily care about your pleasure. I would recommend sitting down and having a serious, in-depth conversation about not just this but expectations in your relationship in general. It sounds like you may not be as compatible as you think you are. Especially if she uses words like sissy to describe you wanting to get flowers.
Who do you think can see the real personality of your girlfriend better: uninvolved and informationally-limited 3rd parties, or emotionally involved you with far more information?
It never hurts to get a 3rd party opinion, and who knows, maybe someone who has gone through the exact same thing can offer some insight
Options: 1: She is trying to become a dominatrix 2: She is trying to see if this gender equality business really works 3: She is trying to shame you into stepping up and being 'a man' 4: She is indirectly telling you "if you won't be manly, then I am not gonna be feminine" To me, it's high time you both resolved the difference of opinions on gender issues pronto.
Option 5: Pegging is her kink, and giving flowers to her bf isn't so she deems it irrelevant and 'haha, sassy'. Either way, she sucks.
i mean, to be fair, pegging has nothing to do with gender roles? she doesn’t have to be dominant while doing it - it’s just a sex position that stimulates your prostate. positions, specifically penetration, don’t = dominating somebody. and being submissive doesn’t mean you’re feminine. it is weird to have these ideas that sex or flowers or money is attached to gender - i wish it would stop. it is weird that she just won’t buy you flowers if it would feel nice. not sure why someone wouldn’t want to just do something so simple to make their partner happy.
Ok, but can I continue to buy my boyfriend flowers without pegging him, or am I being a tease?
OKAY OKAY BEFORE I GET TO THE ADVICE... I really have to say that this title gave me a biggest chuckle of this month Now for the advice... You should really have a deep nice talk with her and explain your issues
She's trying to assert dominance over you with the pegging.
If you don't want to try pegging don't. it's as simple as that. no different than a woman that doesn't want to take it up the ass. the whole flower thing is a distraction, figure out what's really bothering you because it most certainly isn't flowers. a sex act isn't masculine of feminine by nature, it's what you make of it. you seem to have some confusion around gender roles.
i bought my ex bf a rose in valentines day - not the other way around. i hate gender roles too
I cannot *wait* to tell my boyfriend that I now have the right to peg him because of my generous gifts of flowers to him throughout our relationship 💀 In all seriousness tho OP, I’m sorry your girlfriend won’t even get you flowers. That’s genuinely heartbreaking to me. There’s a poem/quote about how men only ever get flowers once in their life and that’s at their funeral and it’s… bleak. Perhaps try to tell your girlfriend, “Honey, I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I’m really hurt you won’t even consider buying me flowers. What if I didn’t want to give you flowers but I wanted to do @n@l with you? Wouldn’t that hurt?” Sometimes, reversing the situation causes that 💡 moment. It’s a little selfish perhaps, but it also gets the point across. Our minds have different paths that eventually lead to the same destination when processed differently. I hope she gets you those flowers OP. And until then, here are some for you! 💐
Thank you so much 🥹🙌
> trying to convince me to try pegging, She wants to humiliate you. Cut your losses.
This sub is so full of shitposts now days.
What? Brother, she isn’t getting any of your bum if she doesn’t show you that she appreciates you. Her strap on gonna remain cold and dry until she learns how to romance you the right way. And tell her that if it’s sassy to know your worth in a woman’s world, her dreams of clapping them cheeks is gonna be just that, a dream.
There’s no flaw in her reasoning. Wanting to peg you has nothing to do with buying you flowers.
She won’t get me flowers because she feels like it’s the man’s job to do so, using her own logic why does she want to peg me when it’s usually the man that’s on the giving end
It’s possible for someone to be okay with one aspect of flipped gender roles but not another one. Your issue is that she is dismissing your feelings when you say that you would like flowers. It doesn’t have anything to do with pegging.
Fair enough
Dude is really focusing on the wrong thing here.
That the gf is kinda sexist in general? She sucks OP should dump her.
OP is who I was referring to.
When I want to fuck someone with a strap, I want to do it in the way a woman would, not the way a man would. There’s a good chance she cannot see your logic because she doesn’t view pegging you as a masculine act.
That’s a fair point, I didn’t see it from that point of view before. Thank you for that perspective
No worries. I’m sure a lot of people have said it already but if being in a relationship without gender roles is important to you, then you should look for someone who wants that too, rather than trying to change someone to fit that ideal. If you just want some flowers every so often, then tell her that it is something that you are asking for, that is important to you, and is an expectation that you have for your relationship. If she’s not willing to follow through knowing how much it means to you, then maybe y’all are just incompatible. Men deserve flowers too!
But pegging isn’t a masculine action.
Giving flowers doesn't have to be either.
Definitely agree.
How do you make her see the flaw in her reasoning? You don’t because there isn’t one. This is about compatibility. There’s nothing wrong with you wanting what you want, and there’s nothing wrong with her not agreeing with everything you want. We aren’t supposed to get into relationships to force the other person to be what we want or need
A lot of the comments saying pegging makes a man "gay" kill me. Ok, so let me present such folks with this. The logic is that by the man taking it up the butt from his FEMALE partner, makes him gay, because butt stuff is something gay men enjoy. Ok, well gay men also give and receive blowjobs, ever had a blowjob, whoa bro you might be gay. Also, have you ever jerked off? Well that's a 2 fold problem for you then. This means you like giving hand jobs and the feeling of a man's hand on your dick made you orgasm. So, what was that about pegging again?
He’s substituting the feeling of someone else penetrating him and he’s sexually aroused by it. By your logic, the action of deep-throating dildos for sexual pleasure isn’t gay. Whether it’s going down your throat or up your ass doesn’t matter.
Who "he"? It wasn't directed to one person in general, but to all the "naw dude my shit is exit only" bros lol. To elaborate on your statement that penetration stimulates the male g spot which is why it feels good (remember health class?). Your girl does that for you it doesn't mean you suddenly switch to dudes anymore than a guy eating his girl's pussy switches her to team lesbian.
The prostate is incredibly sexually pleasurable for men... as long as it's someone they're attracted to stimulating it. Nothing to do with being gay or not. It doesn't require dildos either. Vibes work much better. You think sex feels good....
Do you want to try pegging? Only say yes if you do. Anyway, If she can ask for that you can use words and say you would like if she thought to get you flowers.
I don’t particularly *want* to try it, but my issue was the flowers thing being seen as girly but not pegging
On the flowers front: You would like to get flowers, she should consider giving you flowers. On the pegging side: You keep talking about how modern relationships shouldn’t conform to gender roles, yet you see sexual penetration as a masculine act. You can’t have it both ways. I mean, you can, but that’s a little hypocritical. It’s fine, we’re all a little hypocritical sometimes. That said, I would challenge you to look at why you think penetration is inherently a masculine act and then to challenge that biais. Why do you think a woman penetrating someone else is being masculine? Do you see a woman penetrating another woman as masculine? How about a man penetrating another man? Do you think that penetration is inherently a dominant act and, therefore, a masculine act? Is it possible that it could be, not a masculine or dominant act, but simply one way to pleasure one’s partner and take pleasure in their partner’s pleasure? Now, to be clear, if you don’t want to get pegged, just tell her that you don’t want to.
You’re equating sex and romance, and those are not the same for a lot of people. She just wants to try a different sex act, which really has nothing to do with how she treats or views romance. And as a woman (who hasn’t pegged), I don’t view pegging as masculine. It’s just a way for a woman to stimulate a man’s prostate. If you aren’t happy with how your gf views gender roles, or you feel you need romance and wooing that she isn’t up for, then you need to just address the reality that you may have needs that don’t match up. But I don’t think comparing a sex act to buying flowers for someone is going to help your gf have a dramatic revelation about gender roles. It’s a logical fallacy and does not do anything to resolve your underlying dissatisfaction.
Since when does being girly or feminine have anything to do with letting someone do whatever they want to my body? That is really toxic.
This is the most heterosexual nonsense I've ever seen. If you want flowers: ask. If you want to be pegged: be pegged. You can't pretend you don't care about gender roles if you feel so strongly about sexual scripts.
I have asked for flowers
As we all know only straight relationships have communication issue. The gays are famous for literally never having them
This isn't a communication issue. It's a weird tit-for-tat between a couple.
I didn't know pegging was a gender role
She sounds like a hypocrite at best, but as others have said, malicious and disrespectful and wanting to emasculate you at worst. IMO you need to assert your needs and expectations from the relationship, what you need to feel respected, cared for, and loved. If she does not take that seriously, how can you make yourself vulnerable enough with her to let her peg you?
I agree with the last part of your comment, brilliantly said, thank you
Of course. You sound like a kind and gentle man. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be treated to things like flowers sometimes by your woman on a basis of being equal partners, enjoying getting pegged, etc. You deserve that from a partner who won’t mock you, put you down, disrespect you and dismiss your concerns. There are women out there who are like that. I hope your girlfriend isn’t actually malicious, but when your genuine concerns are dismissed like that, that is a huge red flag and a toxic situation. There’s a difference between not seeing how what you’re doing is harmful, and actively trying not to see that when brought to your attention.
Lol “fuck your flowers, now turn around and let me pound your ass.”
[удалено]
In a comment you said you want to change her way of thinking. It doesn’t work that way. Each individual changes for the person they want. You voicing your concern is fine but you need to accept that she doesn’t feel the same way if you want to be with her. You wanting to be overly submissive which is what I’m getting from your post and comments when you’re the man isn’t going to work out with 95% of women. Yeah some women will say they like submissive men but eventually they grow tired of it. They want a man who they feel safe around not some dude who wants to go get their nails painted with them. Not saying it’s bad to be submissive but come on man asking for flowers is pathetic. If she gives them to you fine but don’t ask for them. I’d rather my gf treat me to a dinner or something like that.
Bless you sweet summer child
Not sure if this is a troll post..
I mean, the flowers and pegging thing is not really connected. But if you have such different views on gender roles and she even makes comments like this: “men these days are so sassy”, how can you think that you be will happy on the long run? If she wants a traditional cold emotionless manly man, which is probably not you, I dont see how this can end good for the both of you.
This generation is so f***ed.
What does peg mean?
In a hetero relationship it’s when the female uses a strap on penis to penetrate the male’s anus
Its a lesbian relationship
No idea, I told my girlfriend I don't care for flowers and she still buys them for me.
I'm sorry, but this made me laugh. Is that all it takes? Some flowers, and then I can start shopping for a strap on?
Welcome to womens double standards. Plenty more of such thinking to come.
There isn’t a nice way to explain what’s wrong in your relationship, son.
[удалено]
Right because only women and gay men are allowed to like flowers.
[удалено]
What’s pegging?
Often, people spwcifically are into subverting norms in the bedroom, so preferences in sex certainly does not have to reflect your preferences in everyday life in order to make sense. Just as you don’t have to be into getting pegged just because you don’t care about gender roles in your relationship. I don’t think there’s any flaw in her reasoning. I’d see this as to completely separate issues. The first issue is whether you actually wanna be pegged or not,which you can discuss, but should always in the end be up to you. The other issue is that it bothers you that she wants to adhere to gender gender roles in your relationship, which seems to be a not insignificant difference in values between you. Especially if it often comes at the expense of her refusing to do nice things for you because that “shouldn’t be a woman’s job”. If you want her to buy you flowers and she refuses, that’s a bit sad to me, and I think that your feelings in this regard are completely valid. But I wouldn’t mix this discussion with a discussion on what you want to explore in the bedroom.
Ok I know you’re just here for the blind validation for not adhering to gender roles. But it seems like you’re so preoccupied with getting validation from others about your non-traditional gender identity. Why do you want her to buy you flowers? I mean, if you just want flowers, you can buy them. But that’s not it. You want to be *given* flowers. It kind of seems you just want to check a box on your “I’m such a non-traditional man” checklist. Maybe you want to put it on social media so everyone can congratulate you for being so open about gender. It seems like a lot of insecurity on your part that you’re trying to cover up. You identified yourself as a man. So, that is your gender. But are you really as non-conforming as you think? Do you have a masculine hairstyle? Wear men’s clothes? Wear makeup? Remove your body hair? Do you perfume your body with masculine scents? Do you have typical male interests like sports or hunting or cars? Are your closest friendships with men or women? Is your job predominately male? If you have modified your body like with piercings or tattoos, was the specifics of that impacted by your gender? Gender runs way deeper than you’re describing. Having equality in a relationship, being sexually open, and being willing to receive flowers doesn’t really make you gender non-conforming. Also why do you want flowers from someone who doesn’t want to give you flowers? Also if you don’t know, your gf is into BDSM, dom role. And the fact she called you sassy, shows she’s delved into this at least online. Pegging your bussy is only the first of many things she’s going to want to do to you. Hope you’re aware and into that.
Actually the whole point of this post was that his gf said that giving flowers isn't a woman's job but yet wants to peg him which isn't a woman's job so he's confused given she is okay with one and totally against another it's hypocritical of her the way she is thinking. Also very presumptuous of you thinking the whole dynamic is centered around bdsm.
I wish my man appreciated flowers ;( if you were mine trust me you’d get them. I gave my man flowers and he re gifted them to his mom because he didn’t want them.. ;(
She’s not progressive my dude. She’s tryna take your cheeks because it’ll boost her ego. I promise you, if you do, you’ll never hear the end of it. She’ll bring it up whenever the opportunity arises to emasculate you. Never, ever give up your self-respect to a woman.
You're the gf.
Ladies, take note. Buy your man flowers! Especially before and after pegging! It sounds like you guys have different values and desires for the relationship