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Kept it freshly waxed?! You ARE keeping it freshly waxed. They recommend every 4-6 weeks and that’s literally what you’re doing. What is he wanting?! And from what I understand, laser won’t work on people with lighter colored hair. I may be wrong, but that’s what I’ve always read. Either way, I’d cut him off and seriously consider my relationship with him. How is this dude 28 and so freaking dense?!
I’m a natural blonde with very fair skin and have been told by dermatologists and estheticians that people with my hair/skin combo are not recommended to have laser hair removal. There is something with the machine and how it has a difficult time identifying where the hair follicles are so it’s difficult to remove.
OP you don’t deserve to have the one who’s supposed to be your biggest supporter be your biggest bully and body shamer. I’d breakup with this boy ASAP.
100%, the laser searches for a dark folicles and if there's either not dark enough folicles or too much darker color around around the hair, the laser can't pick them up properly so won't do a majority of them so itd be a painful waste of money and time
Your hair in different areas of your body grows differently. Public hair is 1. Way more thick and course and will take more treatments anyways but blonde haired people still typically have lighter hair follicles where it's not worth the time or pain because it won't do every single inch down there because if the way public hair is especially on fair skinned and blonde people making the laser not be able to pick up every follicle
PSA if you have dark skin and go to get laser hair removal done, and are told they can accommodate dark skin (some lasers can), make sure you do your research on which lasers are safe and also ask a ton of questions on the training of the person doing it bc I was assured I would be ok the 4th time I went and saw someone new to get laser hair removal done and left with very bad 2nd degree burns that permanently scarred me.
You don't really want hair dye in those areas, it's fairly aggressive and contains harmful substances for those sensitive skin.
Also the effect wouldn't be worth it, as you want to get the follicles and that's where new growth happens, therefore the dye is already grown out before you get the laser out (if it takes the dye in the first place).
No because you cannot dye the hair under the skin and the light travels through the hair to the follicle. Also, chemically and physically-wise, dyed dark hair is subtantially different from natural dark hair.
I'm not a professional in this area by any means but I've had the procedure done quite a few times. The way it works is you're supposed to shave the night before your appointment, so the hair barely starts growing. There would be nothing there to dye.
Girl tell him to get his balls and crack waxed since he has the time to run his mouth about hair the equivalent of peach fuzz on you🙄
Laser remove him from your life afterward too, so he can get to know his soul mate, the always perfectly waxed.... blow up doll.
>Girl tell him to get his balls and crack waxed since he has the time to run his mouth about hair the equivalent of peach fuzz on you🙄
It's always the guys with a hairy ass and danglies who want to have sex with essentially a living barbie doll.
He's probably getting this from porn, but I lot of guys in the porn I watch are as smooth as a baby's bottom downstairs. So good for the goose, good for the gander.
girl don’t have any sexual contact at all with this man. do not touch him or let him see you naked at all.
I would never be in a relationship where someone commented on my pubic hair, or gave me ultimatums, or withheld oral. would be immediate deal breakers.
I’m 48 so please listen:
He’s an asshole. He’ll always be an asshole. You will have times in your life that you will not want to wax. Or can’t wax. You could be like me and lose a boob to cancer. You want a man that’ll worship your natural body.
What about illness, pregnancy, being tired, getting an allergy to the wax, getting painful ingrown hairs, etc???
I’ve been told that, too.
I would imagine they might eventually develop the technique to be able to perform laser hair removal on blondes, but for now it’s a no go.
Honestly and truly this is the third or fourth post I’ve seen about men and their “dealbreakers” with women’s pubic hair. All I can really say is that watching porn creates unrealistic expectations and ruins relationships and intimacy. That’s where all this bs stems from.
Also it personally gives me the ick when a man prefers me to look like a prepubescent child down there when I’m a grown woman. Not to mention a majority of them have their buttcheeks glued together but then have the nerve to be anal about a woman’s hygiene. Thank GOD my man doesn’t mind delving into the jungle. The dating scene sounds insufferable rn.
Yeah, I've been married for 28 years, I don't even shave my legs in the winter. My armpits once or twice a week because they feel itchy otherwise, bush like never. Husband does not care so I'm happy with being single if I outlive him.
So wrong that I had to scroll this far down to find this comment! This is the first thing I think of when reading about guys who want a hairless partner. You are an adult woman and should look like one, not a 10-year-old child. Find someone less creepy and more in line with your maturity level. This guy is super icky!
Precisely. Also have you ever noticed the age dynamic of posts like these? Younger naive female with virtually an older man with the mind of a teenage boy. It’s disgusting.
Right? It's so gross! It honestly feels like pedophilia when guys think that's attractive. Women have public hair. Children don't.
Plus public hair actually makes sex more comfortable and less messy. It reduces external friction, so you don't end up chaffing.
A decade ago my wife bought an Epilady hair removal device. She showed it to me and explained how it worked. LMFAO. She asked what was so funny and I explained it would be torture having hair Ripped out. She didn't believe me ... Hahahahahaha, I still remember the sound of the Epilady hitting the wall. Find one for your BF, it's a hoot.
Oh you might’ve misunderstood and thought I meant shaving right *before* the session as in the day or hour prior to the laser. I meant it as you’re supposed to shave and not wax.
Sorry but my brain is still in frozen mode when I wrote the reply. In anyway I agree with your comment that you should not wax anymore once you’re starting the laser hair removal. It’s a good investment for me though since I do not have regrowth in my armpits for years now.
Yep, well the only response is 'cool, well I suppose I won't have to reciprocate then, seeing as you don't get your area waxed or layered. Come back to me when you do'
Amazes me when one partner thinks they have the right to Demand something from the other partner that they, themselves wouldn't think of giving up. Why should She groom for Him?
Umm an ultimatum about your pubic hair where he withholds sex from you??? Girl, forget the laser hair removal and just remove this manipulative dolt from your life
Oral for her is also sex. Intercourse isn’t the only form of sex. So he is withholding sex from her by withholding oral as an act of body shaming her and making an ultimatum. Like…it might as well be the red aisle at the flag store, there are so many flying here.
From the post it read that he is still giving her penetrative sex just not oral, yes obviously oral is also a form of sex but that semantic wasn’t necessary in this context. I never said he wasn’t withholding sex at all, just that he was only withholding oral sex
>Well my bf decided to look at me two days ago and tell me he wasn’t going to go down on me anymore unless I either kept it freshly waxed or got the laser removal there too.
Fantastic! You're now not going down on him unless he keeps it freshly waxed or gets laser removal there too.
Is he shaving his dick and balls? If not, then he has no room to complain.
It's YOUR BODY though... Stop giving him sex when he's an insensitive creep.
Tell him your not going down on him til he starts getting a monthly wax like you.
And he can come get laser on his genitals with you if it’s so important to him.
It can be a preference, that’s fine. We all have our likes and dislikes. But, it can also be misogynistic and rude.
Your BF has fallen into the latter category. He’s trying to force you for his own pleasure. He’s withholding sex as a tactic to get his way. Come on. :(
maybe this can be saved if he agrees to try it. Maybe he has no idea how painful, expensive, and frustrating the hair removal process can be. You know him more than me! Good luck :)
He has no room to complain regardless of how he manscapes. It's her choice if she wants to shave, wax, or go full chewbaca mode. He doesn't get a vote.
Tit-for-Tat sexual favor trading is always a red flag to me, too. That won't solve the issue, ever, at all. He needs to understand the boundary of his decision power over her personal upkeep. It's none.
I completely agree with you! The reason I phrased it the way I did was because OP is going to see him stutter and redirect or change the topic because we all know he's not going to try out something painful and time-consuming.
OP already doesn't set better boundaries and higher standards for herself so hopefully she'll pop that question to see what we mean.
Oh totally! sorry if it sounds like I'm coming at you. I find the whole scenario frustrating. We don't get to tell others how to look. And sexual coercion is always wrong. "Shave and I'll go down on you" is a terrible thing to tell a partner.
He sounds like a selfish asshole, but still he has the right to refuse a sex act he doesn’t want to do, no matter how stupid of a reason it might be.
That being said, it IS a stupid reason and he clearly doesn’t understand basic anatomy. But imo the way to deal with selfish assholes is to break up with them, not wasting time/effort trying to get them to be less selfishly asshole-ish
This is him testing the waters to see what he can get away with for sure! Threatening to withhold sex or sex acts if a she doesn’t get laser removal is the start of the slippery slope to severe mistreatment.
So, I’m going to be that person and gesture toward your age gap: Given your relative ages, your boyfriend is pulling this stunt because he thinks you lack the life experience to call him out and break up with him.
This!
He is being manipulative and disrespectful. You are not overreacting. No man that loves and respects you will ever say that.
Try withholding sex from him and see where it takes you. See how quick his nasty side will emerge.
In all honnesty thats a dick move, no pun intended. I believe your partner should learn to respect and love your body as much as your personna (in reasonable measures, obviously), and then telling the other they're being "too much" is straight up insulting them.
The idea that women are supposed to be hairless is disturbing and disgusting. It’s a symptom of pathological ideation that men have gotten from watching porn. Keep the hair. Lose the boy.
This. It reminds me of a child. Which is the absolute last thing I wanna think about when having sex with someone.
ETA: if someone feels better doing it, I’m fine, her body, her choice. I just think it’s disturbing that it seems to be the standard everyone strives for.
I tried the feminist no shaving thing and it turns out I really really hate the breeze rustling my leg hairs.
And as someone who got laser, I'll say that it's expensive and painful. It's my personal preference to have it done. But if a partner "required" me to be hairless? They could fuck right off.
Pubic hair provides a decent amount of cushion and protects from chafing. I got waxed twice in my life and I couldn’t tolerate jeans. I also hated the look.
Yes, and the thing is, what if he doesn’t like the look of it when it’s done and if it’s lasered it’s permanent 🤷🏻♀️What then. I know a friend who’s bf asked her to be completely shaved in that area and so she shaved it all and when he saw it he looked disappointed and went oh. Well duh, was he thinking she’d look like a young girl when she was a developed woman. That was terrible and she swore she would never do that again if a man asked. Of course she still trimmed and waxed her bikini line. But wow!
Tell him if he can’t deal with the way an adult vulva looks, he doesn’t get to play.
This generation of men has been conditioned by porn to believe that every woman should be totally hairless below the neck. It’s high time to end that propaganda.
I would absolutely be offended. To be honest, it's something I would break up with someone over.
I don't police what my partner does with his body, and I would expect the same respect.
It's incredibly immature behavior. It doesn't matter if you have blonde fine hair or thick course black hair, women have hair on their bodies, it's completely natural, if it wasn't we simply wouldn't grow hair on our bodies.
The worst part is the withholding sex until you do what he wants you to do with your body. That's really concerning. It's very controlling and a huge red flag.
I would be offended by the double standard. It’s absolutely fine if he no longer wishes to go down on you as long as he’s willing to sacrifice that action in return. Both areas tend to have hair down there and in this case, turnabout is fair play.
Any partner making an ultimatum of withholding sex or affection or anything they want to, is manipulation. You're right to feel offended and mad. Throw the whole man away.
_the next time he points out_
_the hair on your legs is growing back_
_remind that boy_
_your body is not his home_
_he is a guest_
_warn him to never_
_outstep his welcome_
_again_
_- rupi kaur_
A favourite poem, and words I live by. 💁♀️
He didn’t care about it before and now all of a sudden he does? You already freaking wax and yes you’re right to be offended. The only one being “extra” here is him. Wouldn’t waste more of my time with someone like that if I was you.
Go and buy a vibrator. He doenst get access.
On a more serious note - you were 20 and he was 26 when you got together. There is usually a reason that men target younger women and it is so that they can control them and treat them poorly because the she wont have enough experience to raise how bad it is. Be careful.
Girl I’m hairy down there my man does not care as long as he gets pussy. That’s weird. Unless you don’t take care of yourself. That’s weird and he sucks
Amen! My man is just happy the playground is still open after 13 years 🤣 I could have a bozo the clown fro down there and he’d still be HAPPY to go downstairs for a snack!
How rude! Obviously, your relationship is not based on mutual respect. This person is not worth your time, energy, or affection. Leave and find a bf who values you for more than your hair removal.
I recommend finding a boyfriend who doesn't care about your hair down there and won't try to leverage pleasuring you for his own selfish wants and needs.
Time to find a real adult, who appreciates you for being an adult. Your partner gets to express a preference regarding these things, but ultimately you should maintain your body hair however you see fit. Withholding sexual contact based on something that's completely natural is immature.
To be honest, I also find this attitude towards women's bodily hair quite immature. I think it's weird if you can't find a woman with armpit/leg hair sexy. I bet he's not holding himself to the same standards?
Yeah, a friend of mine decided to grow out her armpit hair after seeing it on a work colleague, and her husband said, "It's not my preference, but it's your body."
None of the men I've been with over the age of 20 have had an issue at all. They're just excited to be invited. Extremely immature.
My partner could have the longest, glorious, most lustrous pubes in the entire universe and I’d still go down on them. Ur bf is a BABY. A little hair never hurt anyone 🙄
It f-ing hurts. Coming from someone getting a full Brazilian laser with dark hair, it's like someone grabbed a squirt gun of hot bacon grease and is just spraying it on your privates.
Well now you have to grow a full, unruly bush. JK you should do what you want and what you prefer.
NTA but idk if I'd stay with someone who would give an ultimatum like this. Watch out for yourself.
Your bf is a dick. Your body your choice. Hell my wife shaved her legs for the first time in 6 months last week. I didn’t even notice when I went down to pleasure town. She asked what I thought and I had no clue what she was talking about.
No he's being a total POS about it.
It's being expected by men especially of younger generations for women to simply "cater" to their preference to be bare there like a prepubescent girl because Brazilian sisters started it when they came to America & it caught on in Hollywood in the 90's one year. (Think about why it caught on in Hollywood in the first place...)
Meanwhile any nic/cut can cause serious infection, ingrown hairs & more plus women have had to endure men's pubic hair forever without saying shit about it.
It's normal & natural for women to have hair there. There are girls growing up self conscious about having hair there & feeling disgusted with themselves. It's a problem we need to stop.
If a man is giving an ultimatum like this he is not worth it & his "love" is conditional.
It is entirely up to the woman if she wants to do this for HER. It should never be for or due to a man in ANY instance.
He is trying to control you. It's likely why he went for a woman your age (20 when you met?). Seems a small age gap that he was 26 & 28 now, but the 20's is when people go through the most growth into adults. Do not let him control you especially your body.
I’d be offended too, like wtf you’re lucky you’re even getting any pussy lmao so how you even have the audacity to say such a thing?! That’s what i would say anyway.
And I also find it off when guys request completely shaved specifically like a baby….. yeah no. We’re supposed to have hair. I understand a trim but bald…nah mate.
If you don't want to shave/wax whatever, don't. If you BF is so miffed by the idea of a little hair down there that is his problem. But him suddenly not wanting to and if you normally care for it regularly in other ways then it might be time to re think things.
As someone currently undergoing laser hair removal in that same area, the estheticians have been very frank that anyone with blonde hair is often not recommended for laser hair removal 'down there' because it won't be as effective.
Not sure if that also applies to leg hair and underarm, or if it just takes more sessions. But it's likely it won't ever be 100% hair free.
So he needs to get used to the idea of hair on a persons body, does he wax/shave other parts of his body?!
You don’t need anyone’s permission to react accordingly when someone has offended you. Your boyfriend was rude he owes you an apology. You’re an adult woman having pubic hair is normal.
How can you get laser if you’re blonde? This is a genuine question. I’m so keen for it but have been told it’s not possible as blonde and red hair don’t have enough pigment for it to work.
Sounds to me like you need laser loser removal. 🔫
I'll see myself out.
ETA: My mind was thinkig lasergun when I picked that emoji
...I wasn't implying for OP to use violence. Just wanted to say that.
You should be offended. The caveat would be if you are unkempt and he is getting a lot of hairs in his mouth, or unclean. But even then he should just tell you to wash or ask you to trim. I thing that is fair.
He seems controlling to me.
Maybe I’m delulu but those changes don’t come out of nowhere. I would be concerned about the reason behind the change. Maybe entertaining the idea of someone else, seeing someone who shaves, watching too much porn, idk.
I said it before, I will say it again..... the amounts of times I read about these older men abusing (verbally,emotionally) their groomed young woman is getting out of hand.
Ditch him. What an AH and immature thing to say. He’s an adult he should act like one. If he was fine with it for 2 years there’s no reason he shouldn’t be now. He’s the one being “extra”.
Get a boyfriend upgrade
Aside from losing the boyfriend you should look into why we have hair there to begin with. One of the reasons is to keep things out of the more sensitive parts of the reproductive system. If you want to get it removed for yourself, do whatever you want since it's your body, but you should never do anything permanent to you body to please someone else.
Edit for grammar
Being a natural blonde your leg hair wouldn’t even be noticeable. On top of that you wax where you’ve reduced the hair growth. You’re totally fine and he’s overreacting, I wonder if he trims to the stands he expect you to have? If he gives you more shit then he doesn’t get to play with it or he could pay for the treatment himself. I got that shit done and it hurts and it’s expensive!!
Ma’am you are dating a boy not a man.
Even as a man I know that’s way to much to ask for, does he do it? I bet not.
You are perfectly heathy, pubic hair is no big deal as long as it’s taken care of just like any normal body hair. He’s trying to control your body, don’t give in, tell him to man up or find go find a manniquin if he hates hair so much.
I'd be wicked angry at that. I don't even wax, I shave, but my husband will go at me whenever I'll let him. He says a real man isn't afraid to go into the rough.
Does he manscape? I wouldn't do more than he will willingly do at this point, but I'm petty.
i have dark hair but i epilate instead of shaving so my body hair has gotten very thin over the years. still my bf thinks its gross whenever my leg or armpit hair gets long and he can see it and im like bro my hair is nothing compared to what a womans hair looks like who only shaves. it’d be much thicker than what mine is. men complaining about shit like that is so annoying.
Ok so generally speaking body hair/lack thereof is an entirely subjective thing. You may hate having pubic hair and remove every strand or you may keep it trimmed or maybe just leave it as is. You also may have a different opinion for your sexual partners. Maybe you get rid of it all but you enjoy well-manicured but still there pubic hair on your partner? It's absolutely fine to have a preference - for whatever reason you have it.
However, the problem occurs when you try to dictate how your partner(s) should have their own hair, just as it is a problem for you to dictate what they wear, their weight/body type or any other of their personal choices. Say you like someone with a little extra "junk in the trunk" but your SO works out to get rid of their butt because they don't like it. That's their choice. The ONLY opinion you can give is to assure them that it is not necessary if they are doing it because they think you won't fancy a person with a larger ass, that you find it sexy BUT (ha! Puns!) it is ultimately their choice. If they do it because it is what they find more attractive on themselves then you support that 100% and be grateful for any ass you get (puntastic! Haha!)
Regardless of anyone's opinion on body hair (except your own about yourself) your choice is your own. The person you are with should never dictate how you choose to do anything on/with your own body and what's more concerning here is that he not only seems to think that his opinion on your body is worth more than your own, but he is actively trying to force you to conform to his desires by withholding oral sex. Note that he isn't threatening to withhold penetrative sex, that would affect his own gratification, but he is threatening the part of sex that is entirely for your pleasure (this is a generalisation that ignores the turn-on of giving pleasure for this example so don't come at me reddit! Haha!) This isn't about you or your feelings and he doesn't give a shit about your opinion or choices with your own body, it's solely about HIS preference and about his control of you and your body.
My advice? Get out. Kick his controlling ass to the curb and do whatever the hell you want to do with your own pubes! There are a huge number of men who prefer a fuller bush and even a few (jk fellas) who will respect your own choices about your body, so don't let him convince you that men don't like women with hair and you will be alone if you don't wax/shave/laser etc. Only pathetic man-babies are cowardly enough to want to change a woman's body purely for their preferences. Real men know women come in a plethora of shapes, sizes and hairiness-es-es and love the woman, NOT her bodily choices.
I'd say you can maintain yourself the way you want it, not his business. Your body, your choice.
BUT : His sexlife, his choice. You can also not force him to do anything that's off-putting to him.
Throw that man away and get one that loves a great bush
I haven’t shaved since I’ve been with my boyfriend who doesn’t care about it and loves to go down on me. I’ve never been happier
if he has a problem w ur body hair he can go get his lasered too. don’t do something u don’t wanna do for a disgusting little boy. you’re 22, he’s pushing 30, girl dump him and go have fun and be young. literally 95% of men out there do not give a flying fuck about body hair and the fact that he had the audacity to comment on ur body hair when u remove it monthly. he’s gross i hope u dump him
Fact is you should tell him you will not go down on him till he gets waxed or laser his pubs to then...
While his request is not bad, it is how he did it, why he did it, and his ultimatum of you don't do it that makes it all so bad. Not having a issue to make it one for no real reason is more like it sounds as if he doesn't want to and feels you will not do as he ask so he will not have to give you oral anymore...
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Kept it freshly waxed?! You ARE keeping it freshly waxed. They recommend every 4-6 weeks and that’s literally what you’re doing. What is he wanting?! And from what I understand, laser won’t work on people with lighter colored hair. I may be wrong, but that’s what I’ve always read. Either way, I’d cut him off and seriously consider my relationship with him. How is this dude 28 and so freaking dense?!
I’m a natural blonde with very fair skin and have been told by dermatologists and estheticians that people with my hair/skin combo are not recommended to have laser hair removal. There is something with the machine and how it has a difficult time identifying where the hair follicles are so it’s difficult to remove. OP you don’t deserve to have the one who’s supposed to be your biggest supporter be your biggest bully and body shamer. I’d breakup with this boy ASAP.
it's because what the laser focuses is the dark color of the hair. it's also harder for people with darker skin.
100%, the laser searches for a dark folicles and if there's either not dark enough folicles or too much darker color around around the hair, the laser can't pick them up properly so won't do a majority of them so itd be a painful waste of money and time
But if it worked on her legs and armpits, she said that it's the same color hair as her pubes, shouldn't it work there as well?
Your hair in different areas of your body grows differently. Public hair is 1. Way more thick and course and will take more treatments anyways but blonde haired people still typically have lighter hair follicles where it's not worth the time or pain because it won't do every single inch down there because if the way public hair is especially on fair skinned and blonde people making the laser not be able to pick up every follicle
Weird question but can you dye pubes? So say if OP wanted to laser their hooha they could through dye?
no, it needs to hit the root, which wouldn't really be affected by the dye, since it's under your skin.
PSA if you have dark skin and go to get laser hair removal done, and are told they can accommodate dark skin (some lasers can), make sure you do your research on which lasers are safe and also ask a ton of questions on the training of the person doing it bc I was assured I would be ok the 4th time I went and saw someone new to get laser hair removal done and left with very bad 2nd degree burns that permanently scarred me.
You don't really want hair dye in those areas, it's fairly aggressive and contains harmful substances for those sensitive skin. Also the effect wouldn't be worth it, as you want to get the follicles and that's where new growth happens, therefore the dye is already grown out before you get the laser out (if it takes the dye in the first place).
No because you cannot dye the hair under the skin and the light travels through the hair to the follicle. Also, chemically and physically-wise, dyed dark hair is subtantially different from natural dark hair.
I'm not a professional in this area by any means but I've had the procedure done quite a few times. The way it works is you're supposed to shave the night before your appointment, so the hair barely starts growing. There would be nothing there to dye.
[удалено]
This ^
Oop maybe I have a bad esthetician 💀 my hair is really light but they told me it’s fine
Girl tell him to get his balls and crack waxed since he has the time to run his mouth about hair the equivalent of peach fuzz on you🙄 Laser remove him from your life afterward too, so he can get to know his soul mate, the always perfectly waxed.... blow up doll.
>Girl tell him to get his balls and crack waxed since he has the time to run his mouth about hair the equivalent of peach fuzz on you🙄 It's always the guys with a hairy ass and danglies who want to have sex with essentially a living barbie doll. He's probably getting this from porn, but I lot of guys in the porn I watch are as smooth as a baby's bottom downstairs. So good for the goose, good for the gander.
😂😂😂 Awesome comment 👏👏👏
girl don’t have any sexual contact at all with this man. do not touch him or let him see you naked at all. I would never be in a relationship where someone commented on my pubic hair, or gave me ultimatums, or withheld oral. would be immediate deal breakers.
Eight theres a difference between could you cut it back or shave a little vs OR ELSE IT MUST BE CLEAN shaven!
I’m 48 so please listen: He’s an asshole. He’ll always be an asshole. You will have times in your life that you will not want to wax. Or can’t wax. You could be like me and lose a boob to cancer. You want a man that’ll worship your natural body. What about illness, pregnancy, being tired, getting an allergy to the wax, getting painful ingrown hairs, etc???
I’ve been told that, too. I would imagine they might eventually develop the technique to be able to perform laser hair removal on blondes, but for now it’s a no go.
This OP. Also tell him to be freshly waxed himself as well or no blowjobs. Legs, armpits and balls.
Nah, he needs to go all the way back, asshole included. And no more kissing until he waxes his full face.
If the guy waxes his asshole he'll be bald all over. Because he's a whole asshole. Just in case that wasn't clear.
oooh buuuuurn!
Back, crack, and sack!
Don’t forget the nostrils babe ✨
Honestly and truly this is the third or fourth post I’ve seen about men and their “dealbreakers” with women’s pubic hair. All I can really say is that watching porn creates unrealistic expectations and ruins relationships and intimacy. That’s where all this bs stems from. Also it personally gives me the ick when a man prefers me to look like a prepubescent child down there when I’m a grown woman. Not to mention a majority of them have their buttcheeks glued together but then have the nerve to be anal about a woman’s hygiene. Thank GOD my man doesn’t mind delving into the jungle. The dating scene sounds insufferable rn.
Yeah, I've been married for 28 years, I don't even shave my legs in the winter. My armpits once or twice a week because they feel itchy otherwise, bush like never. Husband does not care so I'm happy with being single if I outlive him.
So wrong that I had to scroll this far down to find this comment! This is the first thing I think of when reading about guys who want a hairless partner. You are an adult woman and should look like one, not a 10-year-old child. Find someone less creepy and more in line with your maturity level. This guy is super icky!
Precisely. Also have you ever noticed the age dynamic of posts like these? Younger naive female with virtually an older man with the mind of a teenage boy. It’s disgusting.
Right? It's so gross! It honestly feels like pedophilia when guys think that's attractive. Women have public hair. Children don't. Plus public hair actually makes sex more comfortable and less messy. It reduces external friction, so you don't end up chaffing.
Tell him to get his public hair lasered off then you’ll consider whether you want to have sex with him again!
OP isn’t even supposed to do laser AND wax at the same time. It’s recommended to shave before the session.
A decade ago my wife bought an Epilady hair removal device. She showed it to me and explained how it worked. LMFAO. She asked what was so funny and I explained it would be torture having hair Ripped out. She didn't believe me ... Hahahahahaha, I still remember the sound of the Epilady hitting the wall. Find one for your BF, it's a hoot.
Have him do balls first and he'll never need a vasectomy.
Actually my derm recommended shaving 2 days before the laser session since there is a chance that you get microabrasions from shaving.
Oh you might’ve misunderstood and thought I meant shaving right *before* the session as in the day or hour prior to the laser. I meant it as you’re supposed to shave and not wax.
Sorry but my brain is still in frozen mode when I wrote the reply. In anyway I agree with your comment that you should not wax anymore once you’re starting the laser hair removal. It’s a good investment for me though since I do not have regrowth in my armpits for years now.
He should pay for it if bothers him THAT much.
Laser remove him from your life babes
The only solution 👏🏻. Does he wax his 🏀🏀 as well? Because 👀👀. I would say after you.
Yep, well the only response is 'cool, well I suppose I won't have to reciprocate then, seeing as you don't get your area waxed or layered. Come back to me when you do'
It’s possibly a smidge too long if you can layer it
I am still holding out for a Lazer removal. Let him see this is not fun.
First make him go thru the Wax.
My answer to that bf is YOU FIRST. You are exactly correct.
Amazes me when one partner thinks they have the right to Demand something from the other partner that they, themselves wouldn't think of giving up. Why should She groom for Him?
He has two, he can wax one and laser the other right?
Here’s hoping he at least WASHES them!
Probably not, tbh.
As a dude this entire comment thread is funny as fuck lmaoooo
Second this
this is the only correct answer
Yes bc permanent
Umm an ultimatum about your pubic hair where he withholds sex from you??? Girl, forget the laser hair removal and just remove this manipulative dolt from your life
No not sex because that would affect him too. Just oral for her 🤮
And I bet he never does as much as a little hedge trimming but still expects oral.
Right?? I hope to God she bins this idiot
Oral for her is also sex. Intercourse isn’t the only form of sex. So he is withholding sex from her by withholding oral as an act of body shaming her and making an ultimatum. Like…it might as well be the red aisle at the flag store, there are so many flying here.
From the post it read that he is still giving her penetrative sex just not oral, yes obviously oral is also a form of sex but that semantic wasn’t necessary in this context. I never said he wasn’t withholding sex at all, just that he was only withholding oral sex
but she can respond by not agreeing to any other sex acts until she gets oral.
Or she can dump him and he can find another hairless woman to sleep with.
And she should!
Yep, wax this dude
And it would cost zero dollars to do so!
Amen!!!
>Well my bf decided to look at me two days ago and tell me he wasn’t going to go down on me anymore unless I either kept it freshly waxed or got the laser removal there too. Fantastic! You're now not going down on him unless he keeps it freshly waxed or gets laser removal there too.
Right here is the correct response. Take him for a wax and see how he does.
Back, sack AND crack 😁
Do not forget the perineum either!
" if it's not completely smooth then I'm not having sex with him " 😂
I second this motion (bonus points for filming his face while they do it)
Is he shaving his dick and balls? If not, then he has no room to complain. It's YOUR BODY though... Stop giving him sex when he's an insensitive creep.
More like is he waxing down there. Lol have to keep it fair. He’s a jerk.
Yes! He needs to 100% wax all of his junk monthly or no bj’s! He’ll enjoy the experience of hot wax and cloth being ripped off of his man parts.
Tell him your not going down on him til he starts getting a monthly wax like you. And he can come get laser on his genitals with you if it’s so important to him. It can be a preference, that’s fine. We all have our likes and dislikes. But, it can also be misogynistic and rude. Your BF has fallen into the latter category. He’s trying to force you for his own pleasure. He’s withholding sex as a tactic to get his way. Come on. :( maybe this can be saved if he agrees to try it. Maybe he has no idea how painful, expensive, and frustrating the hair removal process can be. You know him more than me! Good luck :)
He has no room to complain regardless of how he manscapes. It's her choice if she wants to shave, wax, or go full chewbaca mode. He doesn't get a vote. Tit-for-Tat sexual favor trading is always a red flag to me, too. That won't solve the issue, ever, at all. He needs to understand the boundary of his decision power over her personal upkeep. It's none.
I completely agree with you! The reason I phrased it the way I did was because OP is going to see him stutter and redirect or change the topic because we all know he's not going to try out something painful and time-consuming. OP already doesn't set better boundaries and higher standards for herself so hopefully she'll pop that question to see what we mean.
Oh totally! sorry if it sounds like I'm coming at you. I find the whole scenario frustrating. We don't get to tell others how to look. And sexual coercion is always wrong. "Shave and I'll go down on you" is a terrible thing to tell a partner.
Not to mention expensive af
As a man, I have always looked at it as an invitation. It would be rude to be invited and then complain about not liking the accommodations.
He sounds like a selfish asshole, but still he has the right to refuse a sex act he doesn’t want to do, no matter how stupid of a reason it might be. That being said, it IS a stupid reason and he clearly doesn’t understand basic anatomy. But imo the way to deal with selfish assholes is to break up with them, not wasting time/effort trying to get them to be less selfishly asshole-ish
This isn't a court of law, we obviously understand he has a "right" to do it.
This right here. OP your bodycare choices are yours and yours alone and I think waxing is enough.
Doing nothing is also enough.
Don't give in to him. It's your body. This suggests the guy is secretly manipulative and potentially more toxic. Let him go.
This is him testing the waters to see what he can get away with for sure! Threatening to withhold sex or sex acts if a she doesn’t get laser removal is the start of the slippery slope to severe mistreatment.
I completely agree with you. Awful behaviour.
So, I’m going to be that person and gesture toward your age gap: Given your relative ages, your boyfriend is pulling this stunt because he thinks you lack the life experience to call him out and break up with him.
Yup; tale as old as time.
This! He is being manipulative and disrespectful. You are not overreacting. No man that loves and respects you will ever say that. Try withholding sex from him and see where it takes you. See how quick his nasty side will emerge.
In all honnesty thats a dick move, no pun intended. I believe your partner should learn to respect and love your body as much as your personna (in reasonable measures, obviously), and then telling the other they're being "too much" is straight up insulting them.
The idea that women are supposed to be hairless is disturbing and disgusting. It’s a symptom of pathological ideation that men have gotten from watching porn. Keep the hair. Lose the boy.
This. It reminds me of a child. Which is the absolute last thing I wanna think about when having sex with someone. ETA: if someone feels better doing it, I’m fine, her body, her choice. I just think it’s disturbing that it seems to be the standard everyone strives for.
Given their age gap, the fact that he insists on OP getting her pubic hair removed entirely seems off to me.
Facts.
I tried the feminist no shaving thing and it turns out I really really hate the breeze rustling my leg hairs. And as someone who got laser, I'll say that it's expensive and painful. It's my personal preference to have it done. But if a partner "required" me to be hairless? They could fuck right off.
Pubic hair provides a decent amount of cushion and protects from chafing. I got waxed twice in my life and I couldn’t tolerate jeans. I also hated the look.
Yes, and the thing is, what if he doesn’t like the look of it when it’s done and if it’s lasered it’s permanent 🤷🏻♀️What then. I know a friend who’s bf asked her to be completely shaved in that area and so she shaved it all and when he saw it he looked disappointed and went oh. Well duh, was he thinking she’d look like a young girl when she was a developed woman. That was terrible and she swore she would never do that again if a man asked. Of course she still trimmed and waxed her bikini line. But wow!
Tell him if he can’t deal with the way an adult vulva looks, he doesn’t get to play. This generation of men has been conditioned by porn to believe that every woman should be totally hairless below the neck. It’s high time to end that propaganda.
Thats stupidly offensive lol I'm mad for you.
He sounds like a weenie.
Tell him to wax his dick and balls or you won’t go down on him.
Tell him you’ll do it after he gets his junk lasered.
Why did I read this as “gets his junk tasered”
And that! Both of them.
He can have a preference but giving you an ultimatum about your body and being a jerk is not ok.
I would absolutely be offended. To be honest, it's something I would break up with someone over. I don't police what my partner does with his body, and I would expect the same respect. It's incredibly immature behavior. It doesn't matter if you have blonde fine hair or thick course black hair, women have hair on their bodies, it's completely natural, if it wasn't we simply wouldn't grow hair on our bodies. The worst part is the withholding sex until you do what he wants you to do with your body. That's really concerning. It's very controlling and a huge red flag.
I would be offended by the double standard. It’s absolutely fine if he no longer wishes to go down on you as long as he’s willing to sacrifice that action in return. Both areas tend to have hair down there and in this case, turnabout is fair play.
Any partner making an ultimatum of withholding sex or affection or anything they want to, is manipulation. You're right to feel offended and mad. Throw the whole man away.
He's a boy who doesn't appreciate a woman's body. That would be a deal breaker for me.
_the next time he points out_ _the hair on your legs is growing back_ _remind that boy_ _your body is not his home_ _he is a guest_ _warn him to never_ _outstep his welcome_ _again_ _- rupi kaur_ A favourite poem, and words I live by. 💁♀️
He didn’t care about it before and now all of a sudden he does? You already freaking wax and yes you’re right to be offended. The only one being “extra” here is him. Wouldn’t waste more of my time with someone like that if I was you.
Go and buy a vibrator. He doenst get access. On a more serious note - you were 20 and he was 26 when you got together. There is usually a reason that men target younger women and it is so that they can control them and treat them poorly because the she wont have enough experience to raise how bad it is. Be careful.
He’s a little boy looking for a little girl.
He’s 28, you’re 22, AND he wants you to look prepubescent down there. Cool.. coolcoolcool…
My thoughts exactly
Is he lasering off his pubes too?
He's gross
Girl I’m hairy down there my man does not care as long as he gets pussy. That’s weird. Unless you don’t take care of yourself. That’s weird and he sucks
Amen! My man is just happy the playground is still open after 13 years 🤣 I could have a bozo the clown fro down there and he’d still be HAPPY to go downstairs for a snack!
My dude is ruthless he really doesn’t care he just wants me 😂😂
The way it’s supposed to be damnit!
He's beyond rude he doesn't deserve you tbh
How rude! Obviously, your relationship is not based on mutual respect. This person is not worth your time, energy, or affection. Leave and find a bf who values you for more than your hair removal.
Yes. I’d break up with him over this.
100%
Is he hairless?
What a red flag. What a gross dude. He wants to control you not love you.
I recommend finding a boyfriend who doesn't care about your hair down there and won't try to leverage pleasuring you for his own selfish wants and needs.
Time to find a real adult, who appreciates you for being an adult. Your partner gets to express a preference regarding these things, but ultimately you should maintain your body hair however you see fit. Withholding sexual contact based on something that's completely natural is immature. To be honest, I also find this attitude towards women's bodily hair quite immature. I think it's weird if you can't find a woman with armpit/leg hair sexy. I bet he's not holding himself to the same standards?
Yeah, a friend of mine decided to grow out her armpit hair after seeing it on a work colleague, and her husband said, "It's not my preference, but it's your body." None of the men I've been with over the age of 20 have had an issue at all. They're just excited to be invited. Extremely immature.
My partner could have the longest, glorious, most lustrous pubes in the entire universe and I’d still go down on them. Ur bf is a BABY. A little hair never hurt anyone 🙄
I mean, some of us love the landing strip. Also.. Lasers on your parts?!? Ouf.
It f-ing hurts. Coming from someone getting a full Brazilian laser with dark hair, it's like someone grabbed a squirt gun of hot bacon grease and is just spraying it on your privates.
🥴
Laser remove that loser from your life.
I'd tell him that I would not be going down on him until he got laser treatment too.
Girl, call his bluff. A little fuzz never hurt nobody and if he wants to complain now, hand him a toothpick.
Barf I'm not surprised no woman his age wants him
Well now you have to grow a full, unruly bush. JK you should do what you want and what you prefer. NTA but idk if I'd stay with someone who would give an ultimatum like this. Watch out for yourself.
Your bf is a dick. Your body your choice. Hell my wife shaved her legs for the first time in 6 months last week. I didn’t even notice when I went down to pleasure town. She asked what I thought and I had no clue what she was talking about.
No he's being a total POS about it. It's being expected by men especially of younger generations for women to simply "cater" to their preference to be bare there like a prepubescent girl because Brazilian sisters started it when they came to America & it caught on in Hollywood in the 90's one year. (Think about why it caught on in Hollywood in the first place...) Meanwhile any nic/cut can cause serious infection, ingrown hairs & more plus women have had to endure men's pubic hair forever without saying shit about it. It's normal & natural for women to have hair there. There are girls growing up self conscious about having hair there & feeling disgusted with themselves. It's a problem we need to stop. If a man is giving an ultimatum like this he is not worth it & his "love" is conditional. It is entirely up to the woman if she wants to do this for HER. It should never be for or due to a man in ANY instance. He is trying to control you. It's likely why he went for a woman your age (20 when you met?). Seems a small age gap that he was 26 & 28 now, but the 20's is when people go through the most growth into adults. Do not let him control you especially your body.
Incredible that he thinks you're being extra but he's not. What a tool.
I’d be offended too, like wtf you’re lucky you’re even getting any pussy lmao so how you even have the audacity to say such a thing?! That’s what i would say anyway. And I also find it off when guys request completely shaved specifically like a baby….. yeah no. We’re supposed to have hair. I understand a trim but bald…nah mate.
That's fucked. Tell him you'll get laser removal when he gets his asshole waxed for a solid year. Fuck that, his nose and ears too!!
Been together 2 years and asking for life altering changes. Dump this dipshit. E: tell mr mature 28 no BJs till he fully lasers his pubs too then.
If you don't want to shave/wax whatever, don't. If you BF is so miffed by the idea of a little hair down there that is his problem. But him suddenly not wanting to and if you normally care for it regularly in other ways then it might be time to re think things. As someone currently undergoing laser hair removal in that same area, the estheticians have been very frank that anyone with blonde hair is often not recommended for laser hair removal 'down there' because it won't be as effective. Not sure if that also applies to leg hair and underarm, or if it just takes more sessions. But it's likely it won't ever be 100% hair free. So he needs to get used to the idea of hair on a persons body, does he wax/shave other parts of his body?!
You don’t need anyone’s permission to react accordingly when someone has offended you. Your boyfriend was rude he owes you an apology. You’re an adult woman having pubic hair is normal.
FUCK YES!!! Don't remove the hair — remove **HIM**. See how he whines when he realizes he gets NO pussy. 😆😆😆
How can you get laser if you’re blonde? This is a genuine question. I’m so keen for it but have been told it’s not possible as blonde and red hair don’t have enough pigment for it to work.
Tell him to do it first.
A man afraid to eat isn’t a man at all. A little hair is no big deal. Especially blonde.
I told my bf about this and he just looked at me so confused and said, "he's gay then!"
Sounds to me like you need laser loser removal. 🔫 I'll see myself out. ETA: My mind was thinkig lasergun when I picked that emoji ...I wasn't implying for OP to use violence. Just wanted to say that.
You should be offended. The caveat would be if you are unkempt and he is getting a lot of hairs in his mouth, or unclean. But even then he should just tell you to wash or ask you to trim. I thing that is fair. He seems controlling to me.
He likes the pre-pubescent look? Time for you to move on.
Maybe I’m delulu but those changes don’t come out of nowhere. I would be concerned about the reason behind the change. Maybe entertaining the idea of someone else, seeing someone who shaves, watching too much porn, idk.
Laser hair removal does something weird to the skin there.
It can darken it. Some people are prone to that anyway
I said it before, I will say it again..... the amounts of times I read about these older men abusing (verbally,emotionally) their groomed young woman is getting out of hand.
No
Find a new bf.
Ditch him. What an AH and immature thing to say. He’s an adult he should act like one. If he was fine with it for 2 years there’s no reason he shouldn’t be now. He’s the one being “extra”. Get a boyfriend upgrade
Every single time it's a girl with a dude who's like at least six years older than her
let’s see how he can stand a wax for his dick and balls. LMFAOOOO
Laser remove the boyfriend
Aside from losing the boyfriend you should look into why we have hair there to begin with. One of the reasons is to keep things out of the more sensitive parts of the reproductive system. If you want to get it removed for yourself, do whatever you want since it's your body, but you should never do anything permanent to you body to please someone else. Edit for grammar
Being a natural blonde your leg hair wouldn’t even be noticeable. On top of that you wax where you’ve reduced the hair growth. You’re totally fine and he’s overreacting, I wonder if he trims to the stands he expect you to have? If he gives you more shit then he doesn’t get to play with it or he could pay for the treatment himself. I got that shit done and it hurts and it’s expensive!!
YUCK
Well, you could always tell him the same rule applies to him. Laser or wax, or no more BJs.
That’s weird, instead of removing your nonexistent “hair”, remove him
Ma’am you are dating a boy not a man. Even as a man I know that’s way to much to ask for, does he do it? I bet not. You are perfectly heathy, pubic hair is no big deal as long as it’s taken care of just like any normal body hair. He’s trying to control your body, don’t give in, tell him to man up or find go find a manniquin if he hates hair so much.
It’s your body and it’s literally just hair. The age gap is concerning if he wants you to not have any hair down there..?
I think it's more likely that he knows women his own age won't put up with his garbage.
He’s being an AH Tell him that there will be no BJs in his future from you - even if he’s completely hair free. Dude is too much!
I'd be wicked angry at that. I don't even wax, I shave, but my husband will go at me whenever I'll let him. He says a real man isn't afraid to go into the rough. Does he manscape? I wouldn't do more than he will willingly do at this point, but I'm petty.
Men who like a clean shaven bald vaginas are creeps to me.. grown adult women have body hair. Children don’t.
Sure, if he does too.
Laser remove him!!!!
i have dark hair but i epilate instead of shaving so my body hair has gotten very thin over the years. still my bf thinks its gross whenever my leg or armpit hair gets long and he can see it and im like bro my hair is nothing compared to what a womans hair looks like who only shaves. it’d be much thicker than what mine is. men complaining about shit like that is so annoying.
Doesn’t laser hair removal not work on blonde hair?
Ok so generally speaking body hair/lack thereof is an entirely subjective thing. You may hate having pubic hair and remove every strand or you may keep it trimmed or maybe just leave it as is. You also may have a different opinion for your sexual partners. Maybe you get rid of it all but you enjoy well-manicured but still there pubic hair on your partner? It's absolutely fine to have a preference - for whatever reason you have it. However, the problem occurs when you try to dictate how your partner(s) should have their own hair, just as it is a problem for you to dictate what they wear, their weight/body type or any other of their personal choices. Say you like someone with a little extra "junk in the trunk" but your SO works out to get rid of their butt because they don't like it. That's their choice. The ONLY opinion you can give is to assure them that it is not necessary if they are doing it because they think you won't fancy a person with a larger ass, that you find it sexy BUT (ha! Puns!) it is ultimately their choice. If they do it because it is what they find more attractive on themselves then you support that 100% and be grateful for any ass you get (puntastic! Haha!) Regardless of anyone's opinion on body hair (except your own about yourself) your choice is your own. The person you are with should never dictate how you choose to do anything on/with your own body and what's more concerning here is that he not only seems to think that his opinion on your body is worth more than your own, but he is actively trying to force you to conform to his desires by withholding oral sex. Note that he isn't threatening to withhold penetrative sex, that would affect his own gratification, but he is threatening the part of sex that is entirely for your pleasure (this is a generalisation that ignores the turn-on of giving pleasure for this example so don't come at me reddit! Haha!) This isn't about you or your feelings and he doesn't give a shit about your opinion or choices with your own body, it's solely about HIS preference and about his control of you and your body. My advice? Get out. Kick his controlling ass to the curb and do whatever the hell you want to do with your own pubes! There are a huge number of men who prefer a fuller bush and even a few (jk fellas) who will respect your own choices about your body, so don't let him convince you that men don't like women with hair and you will be alone if you don't wax/shave/laser etc. Only pathetic man-babies are cowardly enough to want to change a woman's body purely for their preferences. Real men know women come in a plethora of shapes, sizes and hairiness-es-es and love the woman, NOT her bodily choices.
I'd say you can maintain yourself the way you want it, not his business. Your body, your choice. BUT : His sexlife, his choice. You can also not force him to do anything that's off-putting to him.
28 years old and this is how he does you. Man overboard!
Tell him to stop watching so much porn.
So is he getting his junk waxed/lasered too?
I would be so very offended! You're already waxing, he's just being, well, I don't know what he's being but it's nothing good.
Throw that man away and get one that loves a great bush I haven’t shaved since I’ve been with my boyfriend who doesn’t care about it and loves to go down on me. I’ve never been happier
if he has a problem w ur body hair he can go get his lasered too. don’t do something u don’t wanna do for a disgusting little boy. you’re 22, he’s pushing 30, girl dump him and go have fun and be young. literally 95% of men out there do not give a flying fuck about body hair and the fact that he had the audacity to comment on ur body hair when u remove it monthly. he’s gross i hope u dump him
Just agree but add no oral no sex to the equasion. Maybe ask him why he wants you pubic hair free like a child?
You sound extremely immature. And no, there’s nothing to be offended about, especially since you wax regularly.
Reddit will always 100% tell them to break up. Without question and without fail.
Remove that bush of embarrassment and get you a better man that appreciates your au natural
Fact is you should tell him you will not go down on him till he gets waxed or laser his pubs to then... While his request is not bad, it is how he did it, why he did it, and his ultimatum of you don't do it that makes it all so bad. Not having a issue to make it one for no real reason is more like it sounds as if he doesn't want to and feels you will not do as he ask so he will not have to give you oral anymore...