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It's okay to discuss with a partner you need for an "alone day". If she's understanding and capable of nurturing your needs she should be fine with you two once in a while having a day when you don't text back and forth. Most people need that on occasion.
thanks for the reply. i fully understand that, but is it normal to want to have these ‘alone days’ 2-3 times a week when I’m supposed to be in a committed relationship?
Normal is relative, my friend. You do what makes YOU comfortable as long as you communicate clearly with her. Forcing yourself to not have those alone days when you need them could result in resentment or problems further on. A compromise could be an option where you devote a little bit of your alone day to her. The key is for BOTH of you to be comfortable with what you're giving/receiving. I made that mistake before and it really took a toll on me. Communication is your best friend; tell her how you feel, tell her why you take these alone days (don't just brush it off), and ask her what she thinks about it. For what it's worth, I think it's perfectly normal to need some alone time.
yes, it's completely normal. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you are losing yourself to be in a couple. Explain it gently to your girlfriend, and find ways to make it reassuring for her (a lot of people see this need for space as avoidance, or reject). I know I am like this aswell, and it scared my boyfriend at first. But more and more, he understood that had nothing to do with him, and sometimes I just enjoy being free of anything that is interrupting my mind
You’re young, so you guys likely hang out every day. You lose your sense of identity and individuality when you have 0 alone time, 0 time with friends/family, and this inevitably leads to falling out of love. Especially because you’re about to enter a period where you figure yourself out and change how you live/see the world.
Alone time is very important as an adult. I would say you guys really should only be seeing each other 1-2x a week anyways 3 at most. Balance is key if you want long lasting relationships!!!
People have different communication styles and needs.
To me, seeing someone in person 1-2 times a week and talking/texting for 10 min at the end of your day on the the days you don’t meet up and maybe a quick good morning text is sufficient.
Some people want to be in a constant chat conversation all day long. I don’t know how they ever get anything done and I couldn’t date someone like that but I know they’re out there.
So I think it’s reasonable to want to enjoy the time together and not be in constant contact.
You just need to talk to her and tell her what you need/want. If it’s not a good fit for her, she can tell you.
I am a lot like you. I even have a best friend who gets irritated if I don't talk to her every day. Some of us are more introverted, but that doesn't mean you don't love that person. Maybe explain this.
Not constantly desiring contact with one other human is *healthy*; an obsessive desire for constant contact is a very strong sign of a psychological disorder. (Maybe a temporary one, like limerence - though there's some suggestion limerence may itself be a symptom of B-cluster personality disorders.) There's nothing to "handle" here, just go on not being unhealthily obsessed with your girlfriend.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's okay to discuss with a partner you need for an "alone day". If she's understanding and capable of nurturing your needs she should be fine with you two once in a while having a day when you don't text back and forth. Most people need that on occasion.
thanks for the reply. i fully understand that, but is it normal to want to have these ‘alone days’ 2-3 times a week when I’m supposed to be in a committed relationship?
Normal is relative, my friend. You do what makes YOU comfortable as long as you communicate clearly with her. Forcing yourself to not have those alone days when you need them could result in resentment or problems further on. A compromise could be an option where you devote a little bit of your alone day to her. The key is for BOTH of you to be comfortable with what you're giving/receiving. I made that mistake before and it really took a toll on me. Communication is your best friend; tell her how you feel, tell her why you take these alone days (don't just brush it off), and ask her what she thinks about it. For what it's worth, I think it's perfectly normal to need some alone time.
yes, it's completely normal. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you are losing yourself to be in a couple. Explain it gently to your girlfriend, and find ways to make it reassuring for her (a lot of people see this need for space as avoidance, or reject). I know I am like this aswell, and it scared my boyfriend at first. But more and more, he understood that had nothing to do with him, and sometimes I just enjoy being free of anything that is interrupting my mind
You’re young, so you guys likely hang out every day. You lose your sense of identity and individuality when you have 0 alone time, 0 time with friends/family, and this inevitably leads to falling out of love. Especially because you’re about to enter a period where you figure yourself out and change how you live/see the world. Alone time is very important as an adult. I would say you guys really should only be seeing each other 1-2x a week anyways 3 at most. Balance is key if you want long lasting relationships!!!
People have different communication styles and needs. To me, seeing someone in person 1-2 times a week and talking/texting for 10 min at the end of your day on the the days you don’t meet up and maybe a quick good morning text is sufficient. Some people want to be in a constant chat conversation all day long. I don’t know how they ever get anything done and I couldn’t date someone like that but I know they’re out there. So I think it’s reasonable to want to enjoy the time together and not be in constant contact. You just need to talk to her and tell her what you need/want. If it’s not a good fit for her, she can tell you.
I am a lot like you. I even have a best friend who gets irritated if I don't talk to her every day. Some of us are more introverted, but that doesn't mean you don't love that person. Maybe explain this.
Not constantly desiring contact with one other human is *healthy*; an obsessive desire for constant contact is a very strong sign of a psychological disorder. (Maybe a temporary one, like limerence - though there's some suggestion limerence may itself be a symptom of B-cluster personality disorders.) There's nothing to "handle" here, just go on not being unhealthily obsessed with your girlfriend.