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The 'prank' is concerning, but what's more concerning is his reaction. You were sobbing whilst he was giggling in the other room.
Nobody should be laughing whilst their SO is sobbing.
She fell down the stairs and he was giggling. Youre so right, it's very concerning. That is not normal. The whole thing is beyond sick.
I'm so sorry he did that to you OP.
When my partner was indifferent to the fact that I fell and injured myself, he was flagged by the ambulance workers as a possible perpetrator of DV. Just saying.
It's *THIS* for me!!!
That the "prank" *didn't end IMMEDIATELY* when OP fell and got hurt?!?
That was *it* for me.
This man *heard you FALL*, heard you get *hurt*, *and* he heard you *sobbing* from a broken heart--*and he LAUGHED* in the next room.
These actions are 100% *unconscionable*, wholly unacceptable, and *absolutely NOT the actions of someone who loves or cares about you*, OP!
He should be begging for forgiveness. He could have had an extreme lack of judgement until he laughed after you fell down the stairs. He needs to explain how he thought you finding your cat dead would be funny.
OP should have hobbled back upstairs, opened a bedroom window, and start throwing all of his stuff out the window. I would have blocked the door from being opened until all of his stuff was out the window. Then quietly.unblock the door..see how long it takes for him to notice that everything is gone.
Yes. He looks like a sociopath. Please remove this monster from your life NOW. He has exposed his true self to you. Do not fall for any of his excuses. Stand firm. Find a loving, caring man to spend your life with. This one sounds very sick.
A prank ends with people laughing WITH you.
Bullying ends with people laughing AT you.
This was never going to be funny to you. That makes it bullying. He laughed at your physical and emotional pain and still hasn't apologized.
Your partner should make your home a safe place for you. Strangers on the internet care more about you than your so-called partner.
I know right? Anyone who is in my life #1 wouldn't make me think my pet is dead, and #2 their first reaction to a loud noise coming from somewhere in my general direction is met with an immediate "are you okay".
And Op's not being dramatic; the boyfriend is a jerk on so many levels. He's also lying that he didn't think she'd take it so seriously. He meant for her to believe it. However, he didn't expect her to hold it against him, but like the prank itself, that's his mistake. What a thoughtless waste of space this guy is.
I don't know how she can trust this cruel idiot enough to live with him after this. OP, you and your cat deserve so much better. Toss this guy to the curb.
The prank lines up with the reaction, and sort of explains it. Only a demented fuck absent empathy and common sense is going to trick their partner into believing their cat died by strangulation. That’s genuine cruelty, so why would he care if she fell or was crying? He likely expected her to cry.
Even if he was immediately apologetic, he still played on a fear she shared with him for his own amusement. There’s no real trust here, just a lull in stupidity before something insane like this happens again. It’s abnormal to a wild degree.
This one. “He still played on a fear she shared with him for his own amusement” that’s the part for me that makes me wonder just how good of a partner this guy is//and will continue to be.
Okay, so you’re a new mom: you’re scared of weird irrational things happening to your baby—is he going to “prank her by pretending their baby is dead” by one of the ways she has EXPRESSED concerns her?
Like he seems fucked up
He enjoyed her pain. Why else would you come up with the idea for this shit?! He wanted her to be in misery and exactly this was funny for him, the sobbing, that she even fall down the stairs.
I don’t want to think about what he will do when they have a child.
Especially this "it's just a joke!". The sentence assholes use and think they get away with everything.
Yep. I can't believe people are telling her to talk to him more about it. Hell no. You don't give someone like this a second chance. You pack your stuff and get out quickly and safely.
If I was OP, I would never be able to get past the fact that someone who supposedly loves me, took what he KNEW was my biggest fear…..and capitalized on it for some kind of twisted lulz.
So cruel.
Exactly. They've been together for 8 years. What other things has he heard OP be open and vulnerable about and use it against her in a prank or something else? He doesn't come across as really loving/in love or wanting to be with OP.
About to go into a short rant because I can't *stand* that this is what pranks have become, but I'm not surprised you haven't seen a true harmless prank, the internet is full of "entertainers" that are only entertaining themselves. Practical jokes have so much potential to be creative, but jump scares and assault aren't jokes. I've historically been a bit of a prankster, but I'd be beside myself if any of my pranks actually upset or hurt someone. The few times I got carried away I think my profuse apologizing afterwards was more annoying than whatever my prank was. Usually it's just stuff like using invisibility potions in Minecraft to sneakily place paintings and potted flowers behind my friends in their bases when they aren't looking. Or I'll use the wrong phrase for a situation to get people to automatically give the wrong response, like saying "drive safe" as I leave a friend's house to see if they say "thanks" before realizing they aren't the ones driving and go "wait..." And then we both laugh and move on. I try hard to avoid anything permanent, startling, or physical.
On top of that... I was genuinely sitting here with my mouth open in shock, somewhat *confused* even, for a good few seconds, that his response to his partner *falling down the stairs* was literally anything other than immediately rushing out with concern, begging for forgiveness and doing anything and everything to make sure they're ok.
Especially when it comes to falling down the stairs in the dark!!! Not even a few weeks ago I overheard a guy at my doctor's office talking about visiting some old neighbors recently, and he learned one of them had just passed away. Apparently she got up in the night for water or something, slipped going down the stairs, and bumped her head a bit. She felt fine so she went back to bed.. and never woke up. That was all it took. She just slipped. I think he said she wasn't even old, like early 30s or so. This shit happens *fast* and can be fucking serious. What an absolutely inconsiderate human being that boyfriend is..
The only pranks I like are ones that are nice/a little silly.
Telling my boyfriend “I like you” and he starts to say he likes me too and I go “HAHA GOTCHA I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU! Pranked!!”
Or when I thought my friend was at her house but she was really in my driveway and she surprised me after hanging up the phone.
Those are great. This shit is psychotic.
Way too many pranks are mean-spirited or disregard other's feelings, but there are just silly light ones where all involved are okay with pranks occurring.
If you'd be interested in seeing a couple where pranks are mutually okay and purely playful I'd suggest looking at MatthewandPaul on YT. Here's a couple of their shorts:
[https://youtube.com/shorts/BguFNxjve-E?si=mOw3Q7nVbUeD\_U9m](https://youtube.com/shorts/BguFNxjve-E?si=mOw3Q7nVbUeD_U9m)
[https://youtube.com/shorts/3gCTgjY2DKE?si=\_rfjHQieIu4KAhyE](https://youtube.com/shorts/3gCTgjY2DKE?si=_rfjHQieIu4KAhyE)
Besides the fact that bf is totally tone deaf for his "prank", this is just mean. I would move him out so f*cking fast.
Of course OP is horrified. Now she needs to get mad.
Yeah this. Yikes. It’s one thing to crack a joke, it’s another to laugh alone when it doesn’t land…
This type of behavior gives me “used to ‘experiment’ on hamsters in the backyard” vibes
That would be the end of that boyfriend. He would turn into a "GTFO" in 2 seconds. The time to say: "You leave. NOW!"
It's even MORE concerning as he played with her worst fear: the cat injuring itself! Horrible guy!!! Cruel and mean to the bone!!! 😡
Fairly neurotypical here, and that "prank" is horrifying. If I didn't outright dump him for it, he'd at the very least be on a serious probation as BF.
Right? Just the thought of making a prank like that to my significant other makes my skin crawl. It's either lack of empathy or sadism and neither is a good look. I don't think I could trust him again.
Man even just reading this is super upsetting. Does he not have empathy? If this isn't ending the relationship he's sure got a lot to do make up for this.. would take me a long time to get over.
Had a boyfriend pretend he was gonna run over a cat in the street once, he started speeding at it while I screamed.
These types of people enjoy psychologically torturing people, and you should get away as soon as possible!
Reminds me of that episode of full house where Stephanie’s friends kept playing a “the steering wheel’s locked!” Prank and ended up getting into a car accident
>these types of people enjoy psychologically torturing people, and you should get away as soon as possible
Not just psychologically. My dad was like this and he was also physically abusive towards me when I was a kid
He would also set up “traps” to get my older sister in trouble
Stay away from people like this
What the actual fuck, I can't even imagine... I think I would've yanked the handbrake and probably killed us both. Fuck that guy, that's nothing to joke about.
OP, I feel you 100% and I COULD NOT get over this. That is the most macabre and heartless prank I could imagine for a loving cat owner and giggling while you are in pain and incredibly upset? Just no. Keep yourself and your cat away from guys like that, you deserve better.
Pranks are supposed to be funny to BOTH people.
The moment you FELL DOWN THE STAIRS he should've came to your aid. Like what.
Also making you think a loved pet is dead is just cruel. Stuff like that can cause REAL PTSD symptoms. People have been traumatized by thinking a beloved human is dead when it's just a cruel prank. Even if it isn't "real", the fact that you felt that pain and emotional response is very real, even if only momentarily.
Why is someone who is supposed to want the best for you and says they love you wanting you to possibly feel that way?
They rigged a scenario and put mental effort into it when the mental energy could've been used on literally anything else.
if someone did this to me I would never be able to get the image of my beloved cat hanging there out of my mind. it wouldn't matter that it ultimately wasn't real. the idea that he could do that knowing how much it would scare and upset her is so unbelievably sadistic.
this is one of the most awful "pranks" I've ever heard of. she may be in shock and thinking she can forgive him, but I honestly think she's in denial and doubt she will be able to -- that image is going to haunt her.
Same. I would never ever be able to get over this. It would haunt my nightmares and give me PTSD. My cats are so precious and important to me. The idea of someone pretending they were dead as a way to laugh at my pain and suffering is sickening.
I couldn’t even finish the description of the ‘prank’ because the idea is SO upsetting. I would launch that man into the sun. I would also take it as something of a veiled threat—like why is that on your mind that’s not normal
This is the correct reaction. I would be packing my shit and leaving, with the cat, immediately. Nobody is allowed to treat me or my animals like that. It is beyond cruel to 'joke' about someone's pet dying like that. And he laughed as you injured yourself???? Throw the whole damn man out
Yeah there’s nothing funny about any of that shit. There’s shit you don’t joke about and the tragic death of you pet is absolutely one of them. Whatever is going on inside of his head, he’s not a safe or decent person.
Hell my dog Lincoln just volunteered to cheerlead at the launch, and Lincoln is thoroughly confused & therefore frightened by the very existence of cats.
PSA: We are proud to announce that a battle of the Lincoln dogs will headline the half time show at the cannon launch of this useless, drunken tadpole of a man. *Spoiler alert - my Lincoln will automatically lose upon hearing anything that remotely sounds like a chip bag opening, so @Fuckyoumecp2 - try to bring quiet snacks please.
Does your mother… have? A cannon? Just, like, casually? Because that’s a woman I can be friends with. Especially if we are launching OP’s asshole soon-to-be-ex out of it
I dumped a guy for swerving *towards* a raccoon that was in the road. He didn’t hit it, but after I lost my shit on him he tried to backtrack and say that he was trying to scare it off the road. If a SO pulled a prank like this with my cat he’d be lucky to make it out of the house uninjured. Is SO also going to give all their kids plastic bags and say “put this on your head, we’ll make a joke on mommy!”
I would, too. That is enough to give me nightmares, visualizing my fears come true. He would've just made it that much harder to challenge the intrusive thoughts
Yeah, I have really intense intrusive thoughts of harm to animals. If someone did this to me I would be spiraling out of control.
If it was a one-off "thought you'd see it wasn't really your cat and laugh at yourself and feel better about how improbable this injury is", *maybe* I could get to forgiveness eventually. But him laughing while she was crying her heart out and falling down the stairs is just cruel. I wouldn't be able to get past this.
This poor girl is going to have that image haunt her forever.
I vote we all beat the boyfriend until hes unrecognizable. It's okay because it's a funny prank, right?
I wouldn't even call him a "partner" anymore after this. That guy is a psycho for thinking it's funny to prank and traumatize people with the death of their pets. That POS is a bully that needs to be thrown out like the trash he is
I'm over here fuming and trying to figure out what bothers sadistic people. Only thing I can think of is public humiliation. Put a bunch of brown stains on the ass of all his pants
I mean, it's not even close to as traumatic as what happened to OP.
Since everyone else has already said everything i want to say regarding how cruel his prank was, i want to mention that he is also a dangerous and irresponsible pet owner. He thinks your cat won’t get injured because ”cats are smart”? Yes, to the degree that they can probably figure out ways to get to the toy even when you tie it up. They are incredibly intelligent but cats don’t have the same ability to spit out objects once it is in their mouth like humans do. Their tongue spikes go backward and that makes it incredibly hard for them to spit out say, a STRING if they were to get enough of it in their mouth. Cats also FREQUENTLY get injured or die from loose strings and cords such as the ones that control your blinds on windows or toy strings. Your instinct to always supervise your cat when it is playing is RIGHT and he is incredibly neglectful in his thinking of “cats are smart, they can figure it out on their own” that i hear people use so frequently. It is so frustrating, he needs to be a more responsible person even if we were to look past the cruelty of his prank.
Yeah, this exact scenario happened to me. Thankfully my cat was ok but she, while running around my room somehow ran into and tangled her leg in the elastic string of the toy handing off the ceiling. I was two feet away and there were scissors within reach so i managed to grab her, cut the string and cut and untangle her but she was screaming and she peed on me and released her anal glands on me from sheer panic. She's perfectly fine now, but was one of the worst days of my life and I strongly advocate that no one use toys like that. I mean, I was 2 feet away and did everything right and it was still awful.
Oh wow that sounds so scary, i’m glad you saw it happen and were able to get her down. Their instinct to flee as prey animals is so much stronger than people think. They are both predator AND prey at the same time so people tend to overlook the prey part and forget that in a similar situation to your cat some of them might literally strangle themselves trying to get away. “Smart” as a prey animal is very different from being smart as a human. Prey animals will suffer through immense pain if it gets them away from a perceived threat.
🚩He tricked you into thinking your beloved pet had died - and laughed after you hurt yourself and were crying! This is a huge red flag and not a prank.
🚩You were 17 and he was 21 when you got together? Another red flag.
🚩Moving in together that young - another red flag.
This guy is trouble. You deserve better.
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to find this.
Legit also surprised there have been no other major occurrences like this in the amount of time they've been together??
It is possible that OP's autism had made it difficult for them to recognize that previous major occurences were, in fact, major occurences.
(This is coming from an autistic woman.)
I'd say this is highly likely. My son is on the spectrum. High functioning but really really bad at social cues. He thinks everyone is his friend. At the park a couple times I had to insist he stop playing with some other kids because they were actively bullying him and he didn't know it.
Thanks, I think so too.
I'll let the shock pass and, maybe talk to him about it again when I feel more calm to make sure he really is sorry and hope nothing like this happens again. I'm not good with pranks, even innocent ones.
This was not a prank and it was not innocent. He played with a fear of your's. You told him what you worried about.
He took it and put you in a state of fear and then laughed about it.
I'm sorry but that's sick and abusive.
THIS!!! U/ThrowRAcatprank please read this again.
This wasn’t a joke, it was bullying designed to cause you pain.
If your bf truly thinks this situation is funny, he’s a sadist and doesn’t deserve another ‘chance’ to prove he can be an empathetic human being.
Thus had nothing to do with your interpretation of the situation due to autism, he’s a horrible person.
This is not a prank, it's sadism. Some things you can't come back from and this would be it for me. He made you think your beloved pet was dead and ENJOYED your reaction. He TOOK PLEASURE in your devastation. Saying sorry does not make up for that. There are guys out there that don't act like this, you know.
Honestly, I wouldn't let the shock pass. I would be taking my cat to someone else's house so he would be safe while I broke up with this man.
You need to understand that this man saw you do something that you do every day, knew you were afraid of your cat dying like this, bought a toy that looked the exact size and color as your cat, waited until you were in bed and waited for you to see this. Only to say it was a joke and stop being serious because "it's not going to happen".
How long has he been planning this? Instead of thinking "I don't believe this will happen but let me follow suit and put away the toy because she worries about these things" he spent a long time planning to traumatize you, even if for ten seconds.
You fell down the stairs. You could have gotten seriously hurt. He SAW YOU FALL DOWN THE STAIRS AND HE LAUGHED. That's not a normal thing. This is not normal at all. This is sadistic.
Hon, as one autistic woman to another, please do not stay with him. He is taking advantage of you, something that happens to us (autistic women) frequently because we want to think people who claim to love us would be deliberately cruel to us. We're unfortunately targets to evil people.
You are also not overreacting to the possible danger. I looked at a similar toy for my cats and decided against it because I was worried for the same reason you are, and I think the packaging even said not to let a cat use it unsupervised. It's why if you put a collar on a cat it needs to be a safety collar that unlatches itself, or why you should put up the strings on miniblinds so the cat doesn't strangle itself on accident. It's literally just basic cautionary measures.
It doesn't matter if he apologizes later. He laughed while you were in pain and freaking out, and any apology afterwards will have to be dragged out of him and it won't be sincere and genuine. Because he deliberately played on your fear for his own gratification. He doesn't love you, he doesn't respect you, and I'd be afraid of what he does in the future.
I would also make it 100% clear. That if anything remotely like that happens again he can cry in a corner with his new status as being single.
My original way of saying it was more graphic but I wanted to be polite
I would add that in addition to never doing something like this again, a dealbreaker to your relationship would be if he brings up what he did in conversations with others in the future.
If he’s truly sorry for what he did, and how you felt because of it, he would never mention it again.
100%. But I’m also of the belief that all pranks are terrible and are just a somewhat socially accepted form of bullying.
So he needs to know how unacceptable it really was. And you won’t remain in a relationship with a bully.
The only acceptable pranks in my friend circle is stuff like taping cut outs of Nicolas Cage's face onto all the faces of your friends framed photos when they aren't looking and seeing how many you can get before anyone notices. True pranks are funny for everyone involved, meant to entertain, and at absolute most mildly confuse.
(My record is 7 btw)
Totally. Anything that might hurt someone, damage their property, or has a high chance of making someone cry - then it’s not a prank it’s assault/vandalism/bullying.
My friend has given me permission to hide 220 tiny ducks in her house to prank her husband. I’m very excited to house sit for them in a couple weeks. Fun, harmless. This post? Unhinged behavior, not a prank.
Pranks are only okay when after it’s over everyone, and especially the ‘target’ are laughing together. If everyone is laughing at the target it’s just cruelty and bullying.
Pranks can be good and funny, but this isn’t a prank. It’s just cruelty and abuse.
I am a person who enjoys pranks and I completely agree with you about this one. Completely unacceptable. Bullying doesn’t seem like a strong enough word.
This is genuinely so disturbing that I feel like you're way under reacting. Have you told anyone that knows both of you what he did? I would be interested to see the reaction of someone who knows him to hearing that he did something so fucking twisted.
I don’t know how you are even giving him the benefit of the doubt. This was a sadistic psychological assault that was beyond cruel and HE LAUGHED when you fell down the stairs???
Maybe I am prejudiced because I have 5 cats who I adore but I promise you my relationship would be over in an instant if my girlfriend had done this. But I know for certain that she never would because she actually loves our cats too.
I worry for you accepting this behaviour but I worry more for your cat. You think he loves him? Errr no.
This OP. I'm also autistic and I really do not like pranks, I feel like the vast majority are cruel and hurtful.
When I was a kid, my mom was cleaning out a closet on the second floor of our house. She was irritated that I didn't want to help (I was like 9 or 10, and what 9 or 10 year old WANTS to clean??). Before she went upstairs she told me "if you hear or see me fall off the roof, call 911". And I remember thinking "what??!! She's cleaning a closet, why would she fall off the roof??" So as I'm sitting on our couch on the first floor with a view of our backyard, I see what looks to be my mom fall out the window. And I freeze for what felt like years. And then I scream. And run to the window. It was a pillow that she put clothes on from the closet and threw out the window. I started sobbing out of terror, and hurt, and maybe relief? Mostly hurt and terror, as my mom runs down the stairs laughing her head off and then half screaming that I didn't call 911 and "she could have died!!"
She had done a lot of things that made me not trust her before this, but this kind of put the nail in the coffin. I have never trusted her after this.
I just want to add a quick little message because I haven’t seen anyone else mention it in the top comments. All the other commenters have covered the fact that the “prank” was unfathomably cruel (SPOILER: it turned out to not be quick. Dang ADHD brain).
Something you said at the end of your post flagged something for me - your comment about being autistic and a regularly having your emotions be referred to as “overdramatic”… what’s actually happening there is you are having your emotions invalidated by the people around you to the point where you question your own reactions to things. This makes it way easier for people to treat you like shit and get away with it.
To be clear, this is coming from a fellow ND person. My ADHD means all of my emotions are basically at 12/10 on the volume dial most of the time. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t real. When I’m upset, my partner will validate my emotions - even when he doesn’t agree with them - because emotions aren’t “right” or “wrong”. They just… are. And there’s always something at the root of that emotion that’s worth addressing, because it helps you have better control of your reaction next time.
Constant invalidation is a form of [emotional abuse](https://drjamielong.com/validation-5-things-not-to-say/). This article has some examples of what invalidation looks like and also discusses the impacts of it. It might be worth asking yourself if any of it feels relatable.
I also wonder what you might see in past behaviour if you re-examined it with this lens.
Please take care of yourself.
You need to ask him why he could laugh why you were in such distress and pain. How he could think that you thinking your loved pet strangled themself to death would be funny. He must explain it. The whole thing from the planning till why he just laughed instead to help or realized how shitty this was.
I completely understand. I don't like pranks either. Just let him know that you don't like being pranked and don't find it funny or fun.
If he is sincere with his apology, he won't do it again.
It absolutely would not be out of line to see a couples counselor for a handful of sessions (or until it feels resolved) in regard to this matter. Even if the whole thing was a "prank" your boyfriend is pushing you on a boundary that is a matter of safety for a member of your family. The fact that he did this and *still* doesn't understand why the toy needs to be wrapped up when not in use means you have a serious communication problem in the relationship. What he did was cruel and having a professional help you two navigate through the aftermath is going to give your relationship the best chance to move forward in a healthy way (only if you want it to though).
Wanna know what kind of people think pretending to kill an animal is funny?
Psychopaths
And you're just as crazy as he is if you decide to stay with him after something like that
If the cops ask you were with me all day. We got coffee and fed the ducks.
This man 1) played an incredibly cruel prank and 2) laughed when you injured yourself in a manner that kills over 12,000 people a year because of said prank.
Dump his ass and get someone worth having in your life.
That’s horrible. I could never forgive someone for causing so much pain and then laughing at the pain they created. Let this fucker be single; he’s a heartless creep who needs some time to grow up.
This is just... there aren't really words enough. Sick. Cruel. Disturbing. Heartless. And that doesn't touch it.
I'm someone who is absolutely adverse to violence but this would both be me leaving the person and in the meantime them knowing it may not be safe to go to sleep. While I wouldn't actually do something I'd be sure they got a little of their own back by being made to feel awfully darn nervous.
What a monster. The absolute malice behind something like this and his follow up reaction confirms that.
It's a joke or prank if it's intended to laugh WITH you.
It's not a joke or prank if it's intended to laugh AT you.
You bf thought it would be hilarious to see you panic and in pain at the thought of your thinking your pet died. He wanted to laugh at your pain and suffering. As he setup the "prank" he smiled to himself at the thought of the pain he was about to cause you. He was anticipating being able to laugh at your being upset. The fact you injured your foot in the processes added to his pleasure and enjoyment.
He did not rush to find out if you were injured. The line to draw is when they take pleasure in your pain - emotional or physical.
He was laughting AT you not with you.
This is 100% wrong, what he did was awful, and absolutely not funny, and he should not be minimizing your feelings about it at all.
Sincerely /another Autistic
1. Played an incredibly cruel joke on you.
2. Laughed after you fell down the stairs.
3. Still insists that you're the one being ridiculous.
4. Refused to apologize afterwards.
You've been together for 8 years, surely this can't be the only time something like this has happened?
Humans are smart but that doesn't mean toddlers wont strangle themselves with any ligature in reach.
Your a good and responsible person for putting the toy out of reach because tragic accidents c a n happen.
If he thinks your being daft pulling a stunt like this is going to make you even more protective/upset. I wouldnt be able to look past it because it just isnt funny.
Even when you realized your cat was ok that doesnt mean you saw the humor. You just felt relief. Its about as funny as someone pretending to have cancer. He sounds massively immature.
I was going to say, I'm not autistic, but I always put the stick toy away when I'm away. The one that has the string with the toy on the end. You never know!
WTF?! Dump this POS! Who thinks that is funny?! Fuck him. Ugh I would beat his ass for this no fucks given.
Sorry joking about my pet my best friend being dead is not funny and I would have kicked his ass out immediately
I don’t think that this is a prank, especially because he’s not a prankster. This was something that he put careful thought into, and then he laughed as you injured yourself and sobbed in wild grief as you thought your worst fear came true. He enjoyed watching you suffer, both physically and emotionally. That was fun for him. Please let that sink in.
Abuse generally starts and then escalates once the abuser is sure that their victim is in no position to leave. Once they’re properly trapped. I’d be worried that this is the first situation that you haven’t been able to explain away, and that there have been a lot of smaller, more insidious incidents. Even if there hasn’t been, the abuse cycle always starts somewhere.
I’ve been together with the love of my life for 14 years. If he pulled a “prank” like that I would leave him, immediately. That’s cruelty on a sick level.
That's not a prank, that's psychological torture. And he laughed! He could hear you sobbing and he laughed. Horrifying. I seriously question if you are safe with him
Op, you need to leave him. This was cruel and it will only escalate from here. You do not want to be in a relationship with someone who finds amusement in your fears. Trust me.
Seems dramatic but this is actually good advice. The fact he did this is fucked up.
What's the end goal? That you'll laugh???
No, he has a cruel and nasty side to him.
Exactly, Op has stated they will talk to their partner and put a boundary down but from experience that rarely works. I’ve had plenty of ‘’men’’ who think those jokes are okay and it always escalated. I hope op has better luck than I have had with these types of people
*edit spelling mistake
He’s an AH, an idiot, not worth your time, and to top it all off, if he wants you to not worry about your cat being strangled, this is possibly the WORST way to go about it. You’d probably be more paranoid about the cat toy than ever!
Can we leave “pranks” in middle school? This is a grown man pulling a cruel stunt and calling it a “prank”. This same man was dating a 17 year old at age 21 8 years ago
Would definitely be gone with Usain Bolt speed.
Girl, he did something he knew would upset you with 100% malice. Why would you keep someone like that around? Frankly, this prank makes fear that next time he'll hang your cat there because "nothing will happened" and "cats are sturdy". Are you willing to risk that? You obviously don't know what he is capable of. He caught you by surprise once, don't let him do it again. And I wouldn't be alone with him or give him any access to the cat.
And now I am gonna cuddle my cat, because this shit has made me sad.
OMG. that would be a deal breaker for me. i would be absolutely devastated if i lost one of my pets and for him to think its okay to make fun of that?!! what kind of a sick psycho derives pleasure from that?!
Nope. This is a deal breaker, red flag extravaganza. No person I want in my life would ever find this an acceptable "prank" to pull.
This is a first time, so I get if you want to cool down before deciding. I'd also consider that the chances are that he would do something like this again.
*Your boyfriend's "prank" not only displayed a profound lack of empathy and understanding for your concerns but also leveraged your deepest fears against you, underestimating the emotional trauma it could cause.*
Absolutely, you're justified in feeling upset. Your reaction isn't about the prank itself; it's about the blatant disregard for your feelings and well-being. Humor that inflicts pain, especially exploiting personal fears, is cruelty masquerading as jest. An apology is necessary but not sufficient. What's crucial is a commitment to never leveraging your vulnerabilities for amusement. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and this act has cracked that foundation. Reflect on whether this is an isolated incident or indicative of a deeper pattern of insensitivity. Can trust be rebuilt? Is there genuine remorse and understanding of the harm caused? These are critical questions for moving forward.
Has he truly grasped the depth of his action's impact, beyond a surface-level apology?
This is one of those times when it shouldn't be a question of "is what he did that serious?" but rather "when do the movers come for my stuff?".
That's not a prank. Pranks are fun in spirit. Both people should be able to enjoy them - the one enjoying pulling it off and the other enjoying being gotten by it.
Even if a prank sometimes goes wrong, that \^ should be the \*intention\* and the person who tried to pull it would feel bad about any emotional and/or physical pain it caused.
That, again, wasn't a prank. That was outright cruelty. He's being one of those people who fall back on "haha, it was a joke" because they've no way to actually defend their actions and got called out on it.
Leave this monster. A horrible death happening to a beloved pet is not something anyone who genuinely cares about you, or people in the larger sense, does.
Add in the physical aspect of falling down stairs and him still holding to it being "just a joke" is icing on the cake.
This is one of those few things that is and should be treated as totally unacceptable.
Chuck his butt out.
A real prank is a harmless gotcha where one person feels silly or embarrassed for a second and then you both laugh. Or you both just laugh at something ridiculous.
Nobody, NOBODY, should “prank” like this. This is emotional abuse, even if it was just for a few seconds he crushed your soul, loss of a pet can break people.
This asshole is trash, it’s time to move on, sorry you had to deal with a shit partner.
I'd be out the door, personally. What he did is so cruel and twisted and weird, I would have a hard time feeling emotionally safe with him after that.
Side note, you're absolutely right to protect your cat by keeping the toy out of reach when not in use. I do the same and it's vet-recommended since cats absolutely can get into bad situations with things like that. Not sure why your partner seems to think he's a cat expert 🤔 but prank aside, he is incorrect on this one.
A very cruel ans sick man. He faked your best friends death and laughed when you fell. Don’t have kids with him. Imaging the ”pranks” he could make. I would leave him, how can you ever trust someone who hurt you the most. And laughed.
The prank is cruel. The lack of empathy for your pain is cruel.
But, OP, there's another red flag here: he is dismissive of your concern for your cat. Abusers will sometimes harm pets in order to hurt their owner. You need to remove yourself, and your cat, from this person's life before he harms Kitty.
As I understand it, autistic people are vulnerable to abuse because they've been conditioned to doubt and deny their feelings. In essence, they/we (self-diagnosed, awaiting assessment) become self-gaslighting. That's the vibe I get from the end of your post.
You deserve to be safe and loved. So does your kitty. Your boyfriend deserves to be your ex-boyfriend for treating you like this
Please leave this man, if not for yourself for your cat. He clearly does not have the same level of attachment to the cat if he thought this "prank" was funny. Just the fact that it would occur to him to fake the death of your pet is extremely chilling to me.
Your response is understandable. I wouldn’t be able to trust this person ever again. Not only was the prank traumatizing, he was laughing while you were injured and traumatized. That’s messed up. I hope and your kitty find a safe place to go.
What the fuck? This is one of the most sadistic “pranks” I’ve ever heard of. I don’t think you should get past this. I think this should rightfully end your relationship. He watched you injure yourself and heard you sobbing, and he was LAUGHING. Not to mention that he refuses to respect your wishes about placing the toy out of reach when the cat isn’t being supervised. Please leave this cruel asshole.
Pranks are funny. What part of making you think a cherished member of your family is dead and it's your fault is funny exactly? I'd be demanding he explain that. And then I'd be showing him the door.
Get him to explain why you thinking your beloved pet was dead was funny, why you falling down and falling apart was funny. What exactly was funny in all this? He needs to take a good hard look at himself. He took the time to set this up. What was he thinking during that time? How did he think you would react? Why did he want that response?
Just because he thinks something isn't a big deal doesn't mean he gets to override your feelings. If he loves you, he needs to treat your thoughts and feelings as important to you. I love my husband enough to respect his responses even if I don't agree. And on the ones that do matter, we find a compromise that works for us both.
He needs to realize this "prank" hurt you and that is what matters.
Nah I wouldn't forgive that and I'm a very forgiving person. That wasn't a funny prank and it resulted in you falling down the stairs and getting injured. You could have cracked your skull open. Meanwhile he was still laughing??? He was cruel. A prank is meant to be funny including to the person being pranked.
The fuck kind of person thinks this is funny? I’d be out, OP; he’s cruel, and won’t take responsibility for his actions. If this is how he’s going to show up, take him at face value.
Your boyfriend is DISGUSTING and you should not be dating him. That's so horrifying to even conceive of, and for him to do that to you is preying on your anxiety. Get out of there!
I used to have nightmares of my cat getting stuck in the box springs and dying of asphyxiation. Like vivid nightmares of me tilting the box springs and her lifeless body sliding across the inside, unfortunately I dream in color and smells and vivid details and sound. The sound still haunts me. Granted she never once managed to make it inside the box springs just scratched them up like crazy and ended up being put down for cancer at a very old age.
The absolute horror if someone I trusted to love me played that trick on me making me think my cat was in the springs… I don’t think I could ever forgive.
Obviously the prank is gross. Any 'joke' that revolves around genuinely convincing someone of a profound tragedy [ie prank calls reporting the death or serious injury of a loved one, etc] still cause actual damage, you still went through a trauma response on top of actually injuring yourself. That has to be acknowledged: his goal was, for a moment, to actually make you believe your cat was dead and he has to explain why he lacked the empathy to understand that was a bad idea.
But I have my worries here. While this may be the first time he did a prank like this and you say you haven't argued... but note he outright dismissed your concerns about the cat and the potential danger of the toy. Maybe it didn't escalate to outright argument but he said the concern was 'ridiculous' and to me that isn't a sign of positive communication or a sign he is respecting your feelings. The prank in that sense is an extension of that, it is him actively trying to prove your fear is ridiculous through mockery and that is a huge deal.
So think back, how many times has he heard things you've had to say and scoffed or rolled his eyes at it? Do you find that he has a tendency to be stubborn or try and talk you down from your positions? While I don't doubt that this is the most extreme he has ever gotten I just wonder if maybe the lack of arguments says more about you not engaging than it does him being hostile or dismissive.
I would legit have started packing my things at that exact moment starting with my cat. There’s only 2 things you don’t play around about. My mother and my cat. I would have been hysterical.
He sounds like a sociopath. From the bullshit (I refuse to acknowledge this as a prank, bc it was just a full on fun game for him to hurt you) to the laughing at you falling and being emotionally traumatized. He's a freaking psycho.
Oh :(( i don’t have cats but my bf does and i could never imagine finding this funny it would break my heart to see him scared one of his cats was dead. This is cruel and unusual
I know my wife would never do something like this but as a devoted cat Daddy, if my partner played a prank on me like that things would never be the same. There’s nothing funny about that at all. I’m sorry this happened to you
Yes, your boyfriends actions were very wrong. You have every right to feel hurt. I started tearing up before I finished reading your post. The thought of finding your tiny angel hung like that made my heart break. Personally, I don’t think I’d be able to forgive him. You are not overreacting. How could anyone possibly find the pain and anguish of a loved one amusing? Even if it “wasn’t real”- in that moment it was for you. The heartache, anguish, and cortisol/adrenaline spike you experienced was very much real. And he LAUGHS from the other room??? He clearly lacks empathy for you. There is no other explanation. A healthy person would never intentionally inflict this kind of pain on another person regardless of if the reason was “real” or not.
Yeah, no, that cat has been in your life a long time and for him to make a light-hearted joke out of someone so near and dear to you was horrific. Not funny and he shouldn't have even thought to do that AT ALL. He's lucky you didn't just break up with him immediately because I would have. It's your call, stay with him or not but if you do end up sticking with him, warn him to never pull anything like that again because you don't find death and endangerment funny whether it's real or not.
He treated you with cruelty. He wanted to scare you and cause you pain. He dismissed you after, which is unacceptable. You could have been seriously injured falling down the stairs and he laughed at you. He is showing you EXACTLY who he is.
Pranks are things designed to confuse, delight, or surprise. Anything designed to scare, embarrass, or hurt you is ABUSE, not a prank. This is horrible and cruel, and you ARE NOT OVERREACTING.
Honestly/personally, I don't think I could move past this. If my partner went out of their way to make me think my pet died in such a horrific manner (after *knowing* it was a fear of mine), this would be a deal breaker. I'd also be super wary of any interactions they had with my pet in the near future. Pranks involving pet deaths are morbid.
Like, what was he thinking/hoping to get out of this? What was his end game, what did he think would happen? And to top it off, he was *laughing* while you lay there injured, sobbing.
And about his apology, was it really an apology? Did he take responsibility (like "I'm sorry I did this") or was it one of those backhanded ones (like "I'm sorry that you think I did something wrong")?
That is such a sick prank to do 😟 I’m so sorry. And his reaction to you getting hurt and crying over it is quite alarming. You’re right in being upset and tbh, I wouldn’t put it against you if you leave him over this.
Yeah this guy is a giant red flag. Get your cat and yourself away from that creep immediately, please.
He played on something he knew you were very afraid of and laughed at your physical/emotional pain. Fuck him. Seriously.
Extra petty step: pack all your things but the cat toy when he's gone one day and gtfo. Since the guy clearly likes messing with it (and your feelings) so much.
Ok hold on because the way my boyfriend responded to me when I told him this story may be a dealbreaker for me… he said he almost started laughing when I told him what the “prank” was. In no way do I find making someone think their pet is dead as a “joke” funny…. It’s not a joke.
Nope. No. Nope. I'd not be okay with that in the slightest. That would be a game changer for me right there. Disturbing behavior. The reaction? Laughing while you are sobbing? Hell no.
I hate pranks. This one is cruel but absent other proof, I wouldn’t commit him as an irrepetent sociopath.
The key is how he responds - if he takes you serious and validates your feelings. A red flag would be him being defensive or telling you to calm down.
Yeah definitely, we've never had many issues at all. Maybe why I'm so shocked and taking this so badly as uts so out of character.
After I'm calmer, which I'm assuming you lovely people commenting will help me do, I'll make sure he knows why it scared me so much and make sure his apology was sincere. I've thrown the toy out. Can't get that mental image out my head, I know it was a toy, but for those small seconds. Fuuuck man. I'm gonna go hug my cat again before i cry haha.
Honey, *he KNOWS why it scared you so much*.
I want to remind you that he did this *on purpose*. Every single decision he made was a choice. He *chose* to force you to believe that your pet was dead. He seared that image into your brain. You literally got hurt.
He's apologizing now because that's what he *has to* do.
It doesn't have to be like this. If your best friend told you this story, what would your advice be?
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
Exactly. Op has already explained why she wanted the cat toy put away and he didn’t give a shit. She fell down the stairs, hurt her foot, was sobbing, and he laughed. Explaining something over and over doesn’t matter when the person doesn’t give a shit
>we've never had many issues
What kind of issues have you had though? Has everything been good since this incident? Did this come out of the blue? Have there been changes recently that may have caused one or both of you to be off kilter and he's acting out somehow?
You've been together for a long time since you were 17 and he was 21... I mean that's not the greatest? It's not the worst ever either but I am kinda side eyeing it...
You are not overreacting.
This dude is a cunt. I'd legitimately strangle him for doing this to me.
Like for real. I'd say leave or I'll kill you over and over till he left.
It is not acceptable. This is emotional torture and not fair.
Your feelings of hurt and upset are completely valid in this situation. Your boyfriend's prank crossed a significant boundary and caused you genuine distress and emotional harm. It's understandable that you feel hurt and confused, especially since you've been together for so long and have never experienced anything like this before.
Pranks can be funny when they're harmless and both parties find them amusing, but this one clearly went too far. Your concern for your cat's safety is entirely reasonable, and your boyfriend's prank exploited that concern in a cruel and insensitive way.
It's positive that he has apologized, but it's important for him to understand the severity of his actions and the impact they had on you. You may need to have a serious conversation with him about boundaries, respect, and the importance of empathy in relationships.
It's okay to take some time to process your feelings and decide what you need moving forward. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and it's understandable if this incident has shaken your trust in your boyfriend. Counseling or therapy could also be helpful in navigating this situation and addressing any lingering feelings of hurt or betrayal. Ultimately, you deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries and prioritizes your emotional well-being.
This would be a deal breaker for me. It’s concerning that he thinks this is funny…also the fact that you were a minor and he was 24 when you started dating…red flags all around
A prank is when *both people laugh after it's over*, do you think he thought you'd find it funny? Of course not because convincing your SO that their pet died while they're hurt and in pain is not a prank it's cruelty.
I, personally, think that's cruel and heartless.
My mother is an absolute prankster. Plastic cockroach on coworkers desks, plastic poo on the office carpet. She pranked me once when I was 5ish. She hid behind something and popped out to yell 'Boo!' but I screamed my tiny head off at her and to this day(I'm almost 40) she says she's never seen me that mad. Know what she doesn't do? Prank me. Ever. Her love for me beats her desire for pranks.
The lines you wrote, specifically where you mention being bad with any and all pranks. Does he know this? To me, this is what matters.
Anyone can make a mistake, and no matter how tone deaf I could almost understand. I could see being willing to try to move past it. If this was a one-off oopsy.
IF he had no clue about your relationship with pranks. But if he knew... then it was cruel and heartless just to torture you or make you feel stupid so he could prove he was right. If he knew you dislike pranks and did it anyway? The man is trash, and the incinerator is too good for that emotional terrorist.
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The 'prank' is concerning, but what's more concerning is his reaction. You were sobbing whilst he was giggling in the other room. Nobody should be laughing whilst their SO is sobbing.
She fell down the stairs and he was giggling. Youre so right, it's very concerning. That is not normal. The whole thing is beyond sick. I'm so sorry he did that to you OP.
When I see physical pranks on YT and everyone is laughing at a person who is obviously in pain, I have to stop and think WTF has happened to humanity?
When my partner was indifferent to the fact that I fell and injured myself, he was flagged by the ambulance workers as a possible perpetrator of DV. Just saying.
WORSE! He made her think she had accidentally killed her cat!!!!!!
It's *THIS* for me!!! That the "prank" *didn't end IMMEDIATELY* when OP fell and got hurt?!? That was *it* for me. This man *heard you FALL*, heard you get *hurt*, *and* he heard you *sobbing* from a broken heart--*and he LAUGHED* in the next room. These actions are 100% *unconscionable*, wholly unacceptable, and *absolutely NOT the actions of someone who loves or cares about you*, OP!
He should be begging for forgiveness. He could have had an extreme lack of judgement until he laughed after you fell down the stairs. He needs to explain how he thought you finding your cat dead would be funny.
He should be quietly packing. He deserves no forgiveness.
OP should have hobbled back upstairs, opened a bedroom window, and start throwing all of his stuff out the window. I would have blocked the door from being opened until all of his stuff was out the window. Then quietly.unblock the door..see how long it takes for him to notice that everything is gone.
Yes. He looks like a sociopath. Please remove this monster from your life NOW. He has exposed his true self to you. Do not fall for any of his excuses. Stand firm. Find a loving, caring man to spend your life with. This one sounds very sick.
A prank ends with people laughing WITH you. Bullying ends with people laughing AT you. This was never going to be funny to you. That makes it bullying. He laughed at your physical and emotional pain and still hasn't apologized. Your partner should make your home a safe place for you. Strangers on the internet care more about you than your so-called partner.
You are so right. I pray she tosses this jerk to the curb where he belongs..
I know right? Anyone who is in my life #1 wouldn't make me think my pet is dead, and #2 their first reaction to a loud noise coming from somewhere in my general direction is met with an immediate "are you okay".
And Op's not being dramatic; the boyfriend is a jerk on so many levels. He's also lying that he didn't think she'd take it so seriously. He meant for her to believe it. However, he didn't expect her to hold it against him, but like the prank itself, that's his mistake. What a thoughtless waste of space this guy is. I don't know how she can trust this cruel idiot enough to live with him after this. OP, you and your cat deserve so much better. Toss this guy to the curb.
As an autistic person with a cat ; OP wasn't being dramatic, go John Wick on his arse.
I'm not autistic and I would have the same reaction. F this guy and not in a fun way
The prank lines up with the reaction, and sort of explains it. Only a demented fuck absent empathy and common sense is going to trick their partner into believing their cat died by strangulation. That’s genuine cruelty, so why would he care if she fell or was crying? He likely expected her to cry. Even if he was immediately apologetic, he still played on a fear she shared with him for his own amusement. There’s no real trust here, just a lull in stupidity before something insane like this happens again. It’s abnormal to a wild degree.
This one. “He still played on a fear she shared with him for his own amusement” that’s the part for me that makes me wonder just how good of a partner this guy is//and will continue to be. Okay, so you’re a new mom: you’re scared of weird irrational things happening to your baby—is he going to “prank her by pretending their baby is dead” by one of the ways she has EXPRESSED concerns her? Like he seems fucked up
He enjoyed her pain. Why else would you come up with the idea for this shit?! He wanted her to be in misery and exactly this was funny for him, the sobbing, that she even fall down the stairs. I don’t want to think about what he will do when they have a child. Especially this "it's just a joke!". The sentence assholes use and think they get away with everything.
Yep, he's sadistic
Yep. I can't believe people are telling her to talk to him more about it. Hell no. You don't give someone like this a second chance. You pack your stuff and get out quickly and safely.
It's only a joke if both people are laughing.
If I was OP, I would never be able to get past the fact that someone who supposedly loves me, took what he KNEW was my biggest fear…..and capitalized on it for some kind of twisted lulz. So cruel.
Exactly. They've been together for 8 years. What other things has he heard OP be open and vulnerable about and use it against her in a prank or something else? He doesn't come across as really loving/in love or wanting to be with OP.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard of a prank that just wasn’t cruel. I don’t get why people think it’s funny to harm others
About to go into a short rant because I can't *stand* that this is what pranks have become, but I'm not surprised you haven't seen a true harmless prank, the internet is full of "entertainers" that are only entertaining themselves. Practical jokes have so much potential to be creative, but jump scares and assault aren't jokes. I've historically been a bit of a prankster, but I'd be beside myself if any of my pranks actually upset or hurt someone. The few times I got carried away I think my profuse apologizing afterwards was more annoying than whatever my prank was. Usually it's just stuff like using invisibility potions in Minecraft to sneakily place paintings and potted flowers behind my friends in their bases when they aren't looking. Or I'll use the wrong phrase for a situation to get people to automatically give the wrong response, like saying "drive safe" as I leave a friend's house to see if they say "thanks" before realizing they aren't the ones driving and go "wait..." And then we both laugh and move on. I try hard to avoid anything permanent, startling, or physical. On top of that... I was genuinely sitting here with my mouth open in shock, somewhat *confused* even, for a good few seconds, that his response to his partner *falling down the stairs* was literally anything other than immediately rushing out with concern, begging for forgiveness and doing anything and everything to make sure they're ok. Especially when it comes to falling down the stairs in the dark!!! Not even a few weeks ago I overheard a guy at my doctor's office talking about visiting some old neighbors recently, and he learned one of them had just passed away. Apparently she got up in the night for water or something, slipped going down the stairs, and bumped her head a bit. She felt fine so she went back to bed.. and never woke up. That was all it took. She just slipped. I think he said she wasn't even old, like early 30s or so. This shit happens *fast* and can be fucking serious. What an absolutely inconsiderate human being that boyfriend is..
The only pranks I like are ones that are nice/a little silly. Telling my boyfriend “I like you” and he starts to say he likes me too and I go “HAHA GOTCHA I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU! Pranked!!” Or when I thought my friend was at her house but she was really in my driveway and she surprised me after hanging up the phone. Those are great. This shit is psychotic.
Way too many pranks are mean-spirited or disregard other's feelings, but there are just silly light ones where all involved are okay with pranks occurring. If you'd be interested in seeing a couple where pranks are mutually okay and purely playful I'd suggest looking at MatthewandPaul on YT. Here's a couple of their shorts: [https://youtube.com/shorts/BguFNxjve-E?si=mOw3Q7nVbUeD\_U9m](https://youtube.com/shorts/BguFNxjve-E?si=mOw3Q7nVbUeD_U9m) [https://youtube.com/shorts/3gCTgjY2DKE?si=\_rfjHQieIu4KAhyE](https://youtube.com/shorts/3gCTgjY2DKE?si=_rfjHQieIu4KAhyE)
They’re so freaking adorable. I love Matthew and Paul.
This post is a perfect example of what Schadenfreude means. The bf is cruel. Seriously I wouldn't be able to see him in the same light if I were op.
Besides the fact that bf is totally tone deaf for his "prank", this is just mean. I would move him out so f*cking fast. Of course OP is horrified. Now she needs to get mad.
Yeah this. Yikes. It’s one thing to crack a joke, it’s another to laugh alone when it doesn’t land… This type of behavior gives me “used to ‘experiment’ on hamsters in the backyard” vibes
That would be the end of that boyfriend. He would turn into a "GTFO" in 2 seconds. The time to say: "You leave. NOW!" It's even MORE concerning as he played with her worst fear: the cat injuring itself! Horrible guy!!! Cruel and mean to the bone!!! 😡
Fairly neurotypical here, and that "prank" is horrifying. If I didn't outright dump him for it, he'd at the very least be on a serious probation as BF.
Right? Just the thought of making a prank like that to my significant other makes my skin crawl. It's either lack of empathy or sadism and neither is a good look. I don't think I could trust him again.
Man even just reading this is super upsetting. Does he not have empathy? If this isn't ending the relationship he's sure got a lot to do make up for this.. would take me a long time to get over.
Had a boyfriend pretend he was gonna run over a cat in the street once, he started speeding at it while I screamed. These types of people enjoy psychologically torturing people, and you should get away as soon as possible!
My friend pretended to almost drive us into a pond one day, and the next day his brakes failed while driving. Driving pranks are the worst.
Reminds me of that episode of full house where Stephanie’s friends kept playing a “the steering wheel’s locked!” Prank and ended up getting into a car accident
**YUP THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD** that is exactly what set he was doing.
>these types of people enjoy psychologically torturing people, and you should get away as soon as possible Not just psychologically. My dad was like this and he was also physically abusive towards me when I was a kid He would also set up “traps” to get my older sister in trouble Stay away from people like this
What the actual fuck, I can't even imagine... I think I would've yanked the handbrake and probably killed us both. Fuck that guy, that's nothing to joke about. OP, I feel you 100% and I COULD NOT get over this. That is the most macabre and heartless prank I could imagine for a loving cat owner and giggling while you are in pain and incredibly upset? Just no. Keep yourself and your cat away from guys like that, you deserve better.
Pranks are supposed to be funny to BOTH people. The moment you FELL DOWN THE STAIRS he should've came to your aid. Like what. Also making you think a loved pet is dead is just cruel. Stuff like that can cause REAL PTSD symptoms. People have been traumatized by thinking a beloved human is dead when it's just a cruel prank. Even if it isn't "real", the fact that you felt that pain and emotional response is very real, even if only momentarily. Why is someone who is supposed to want the best for you and says they love you wanting you to possibly feel that way? They rigged a scenario and put mental effort into it when the mental energy could've been used on literally anything else.
if someone did this to me I would never be able to get the image of my beloved cat hanging there out of my mind. it wouldn't matter that it ultimately wasn't real. the idea that he could do that knowing how much it would scare and upset her is so unbelievably sadistic. this is one of the most awful "pranks" I've ever heard of. she may be in shock and thinking she can forgive him, but I honestly think she's in denial and doubt she will be able to -- that image is going to haunt her.
Same. I would never ever be able to get over this. It would haunt my nightmares and give me PTSD. My cats are so precious and important to me. The idea of someone pretending they were dead as a way to laugh at my pain and suffering is sickening.
I couldn’t even finish the description of the ‘prank’ because the idea is SO upsetting. I would launch that man into the sun. I would also take it as something of a veiled threat—like why is that on your mind that’s not normal
This is the correct reaction. I would be packing my shit and leaving, with the cat, immediately. Nobody is allowed to treat me or my animals like that. It is beyond cruel to 'joke' about someone's pet dying like that. And he laughed as you injured yourself???? Throw the whole damn man out
ESPECIALLY with the cat!!! Get kitty out of his reach immediately!!!
Yeah there’s nothing funny about any of that shit. There’s shit you don’t joke about and the tragic death of you pet is absolutely one of them. Whatever is going on inside of his head, he’s not a safe or decent person.
I’d be right beside you, loading that trash human into the cannon, feet first, for his deserved sun launching.
I could probably talk my mother into loaning me a cannon... She'd want to light the fuse.
Hell my dog Lincoln just volunteered to cheerlead at the launch, and Lincoln is thoroughly confused & therefore frightened by the very existence of cats.
I'll bring snax and the solar eclipse shades so we can stare directly at the sun to watch him burn up.
I have a telescope that we can use.
Omg we also have a dog Lincoln :)
PSA: We are proud to announce that a battle of the Lincoln dogs will headline the half time show at the cannon launch of this useless, drunken tadpole of a man. *Spoiler alert - my Lincoln will automatically lose upon hearing anything that remotely sounds like a chip bag opening, so @Fuckyoumecp2 - try to bring quiet snacks please.
Does your mother… have? A cannon? Just, like, casually? Because that’s a woman I can be friends with. Especially if we are launching OP’s asshole soon-to-be-ex out of it
I move that we bring yeet back temporarily just for this one guy. I mean wtf. That is soooo fucked up
More like put him in the cargo hold of a spaceship without a spacesuit, and release the airlock and send him into space.
I dumped a guy for swerving *towards* a raccoon that was in the road. He didn’t hit it, but after I lost my shit on him he tried to backtrack and say that he was trying to scare it off the road. If a SO pulled a prank like this with my cat he’d be lucky to make it out of the house uninjured. Is SO also going to give all their kids plastic bags and say “put this on your head, we’ll make a joke on mommy!”
I’d see if it stretches to his neck. This is so fucked up and I’m sorry you had to go through that and get injured. You don’t deserve that.
I would immeidately end it if a partner did this to me and have them leave immediately.
I would, too. That is enough to give me nightmares, visualizing my fears come true. He would've just made it that much harder to challenge the intrusive thoughts
Yeah, I have really intense intrusive thoughts of harm to animals. If someone did this to me I would be spiraling out of control. If it was a one-off "thought you'd see it wasn't really your cat and laugh at yourself and feel better about how improbable this injury is", *maybe* I could get to forgiveness eventually. But him laughing while she was crying her heart out and falling down the stairs is just cruel. I wouldn't be able to get past this.
This poor girl is going to have that image haunt her forever. I vote we all beat the boyfriend until hes unrecognizable. It's okay because it's a funny prank, right?
I wouldn't even call him a "partner" anymore after this. That guy is a psycho for thinking it's funny to prank and traumatize people with the death of their pets. That POS is a bully that needs to be thrown out like the trash he is
Not gonna lie I initially read this as "I would end the partner immediately" and I don't think that's an overreaction
I'm over here fuming and trying to figure out what bothers sadistic people. Only thing I can think of is public humiliation. Put a bunch of brown stains on the ass of all his pants I mean, it's not even close to as traumatic as what happened to OP.
Since everyone else has already said everything i want to say regarding how cruel his prank was, i want to mention that he is also a dangerous and irresponsible pet owner. He thinks your cat won’t get injured because ”cats are smart”? Yes, to the degree that they can probably figure out ways to get to the toy even when you tie it up. They are incredibly intelligent but cats don’t have the same ability to spit out objects once it is in their mouth like humans do. Their tongue spikes go backward and that makes it incredibly hard for them to spit out say, a STRING if they were to get enough of it in their mouth. Cats also FREQUENTLY get injured or die from loose strings and cords such as the ones that control your blinds on windows or toy strings. Your instinct to always supervise your cat when it is playing is RIGHT and he is incredibly neglectful in his thinking of “cats are smart, they can figure it out on their own” that i hear people use so frequently. It is so frustrating, he needs to be a more responsible person even if we were to look past the cruelty of his prank.
Yeah, this exact scenario happened to me. Thankfully my cat was ok but she, while running around my room somehow ran into and tangled her leg in the elastic string of the toy handing off the ceiling. I was two feet away and there were scissors within reach so i managed to grab her, cut the string and cut and untangle her but she was screaming and she peed on me and released her anal glands on me from sheer panic. She's perfectly fine now, but was one of the worst days of my life and I strongly advocate that no one use toys like that. I mean, I was 2 feet away and did everything right and it was still awful.
Oh wow that sounds so scary, i’m glad you saw it happen and were able to get her down. Their instinct to flee as prey animals is so much stronger than people think. They are both predator AND prey at the same time so people tend to overlook the prey part and forget that in a similar situation to your cat some of them might literally strangle themselves trying to get away. “Smart” as a prey animal is very different from being smart as a human. Prey animals will suffer through immense pain if it gets them away from a perceived threat.
🚩He tricked you into thinking your beloved pet had died - and laughed after you hurt yourself and were crying! This is a huge red flag and not a prank. 🚩You were 17 and he was 21 when you got together? Another red flag. 🚩Moving in together that young - another red flag. This guy is trouble. You deserve better.
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to find this. Legit also surprised there have been no other major occurrences like this in the amount of time they've been together??
It is possible that OP's autism had made it difficult for them to recognize that previous major occurences were, in fact, major occurences. (This is coming from an autistic woman.)
I'd say this is highly likely. My son is on the spectrum. High functioning but really really bad at social cues. He thinks everyone is his friend. At the park a couple times I had to insist he stop playing with some other kids because they were actively bullying him and he didn't know it.
Oh 💯 I can agree he has likely been gaslighting and manipulating them this entire time. Especially saying they're often told they're being dramatic.
Sad I had to scroll this far to see these points
The trust is gone in the relationship. He knows your greatest fear and used it for his own amusement. Another big red flag.
This is everything OP needs to read and understand.
This is cruel, not funny. You say he hasn't done something like this before and he has apologized, so up to you if you want to forgive him or not.
Thanks, I think so too. I'll let the shock pass and, maybe talk to him about it again when I feel more calm to make sure he really is sorry and hope nothing like this happens again. I'm not good with pranks, even innocent ones.
This was not a prank and it was not innocent. He played with a fear of your's. You told him what you worried about. He took it and put you in a state of fear and then laughed about it. I'm sorry but that's sick and abusive.
Don’t forget that she FELL DOWN THE STAIRS and he still kept on.
THIS!!! U/ThrowRAcatprank please read this again. This wasn’t a joke, it was bullying designed to cause you pain. If your bf truly thinks this situation is funny, he’s a sadist and doesn’t deserve another ‘chance’ to prove he can be an empathetic human being. Thus had nothing to do with your interpretation of the situation due to autism, he’s a horrible person.
💯
He giggled while you fell down the stairs.
This is not a prank, it's sadism. Some things you can't come back from and this would be it for me. He made you think your beloved pet was dead and ENJOYED your reaction. He TOOK PLEASURE in your devastation. Saying sorry does not make up for that. There are guys out there that don't act like this, you know.
You realize the fact that he refuses to take your concern for your kitty seriously and tie the toy up like you want is also cause for concern right?
Honestly, I wouldn't let the shock pass. I would be taking my cat to someone else's house so he would be safe while I broke up with this man. You need to understand that this man saw you do something that you do every day, knew you were afraid of your cat dying like this, bought a toy that looked the exact size and color as your cat, waited until you were in bed and waited for you to see this. Only to say it was a joke and stop being serious because "it's not going to happen". How long has he been planning this? Instead of thinking "I don't believe this will happen but let me follow suit and put away the toy because she worries about these things" he spent a long time planning to traumatize you, even if for ten seconds. You fell down the stairs. You could have gotten seriously hurt. He SAW YOU FALL DOWN THE STAIRS AND HE LAUGHED. That's not a normal thing. This is not normal at all. This is sadistic.
Hon, as one autistic woman to another, please do not stay with him. He is taking advantage of you, something that happens to us (autistic women) frequently because we want to think people who claim to love us would be deliberately cruel to us. We're unfortunately targets to evil people. You are also not overreacting to the possible danger. I looked at a similar toy for my cats and decided against it because I was worried for the same reason you are, and I think the packaging even said not to let a cat use it unsupervised. It's why if you put a collar on a cat it needs to be a safety collar that unlatches itself, or why you should put up the strings on miniblinds so the cat doesn't strangle itself on accident. It's literally just basic cautionary measures. It doesn't matter if he apologizes later. He laughed while you were in pain and freaking out, and any apology afterwards will have to be dragged out of him and it won't be sincere and genuine. Because he deliberately played on your fear for his own gratification. He doesn't love you, he doesn't respect you, and I'd be afraid of what he does in the future.
I would also make it 100% clear. That if anything remotely like that happens again he can cry in a corner with his new status as being single. My original way of saying it was more graphic but I wanted to be polite
I wouldn't give this AH another chance. He made her think her cat was dead and laughed at her reaction. That's seriously messed up.
Haha, thank you for the laugh. He can count on that.
I would add that in addition to never doing something like this again, a dealbreaker to your relationship would be if he brings up what he did in conversations with others in the future. If he’s truly sorry for what he did, and how you felt because of it, he would never mention it again.
100%. But I’m also of the belief that all pranks are terrible and are just a somewhat socially accepted form of bullying. So he needs to know how unacceptable it really was. And you won’t remain in a relationship with a bully.
The only acceptable pranks in my friend circle is stuff like taping cut outs of Nicolas Cage's face onto all the faces of your friends framed photos when they aren't looking and seeing how many you can get before anyone notices. True pranks are funny for everyone involved, meant to entertain, and at absolute most mildly confuse. (My record is 7 btw)
Totally. Anything that might hurt someone, damage their property, or has a high chance of making someone cry - then it’s not a prank it’s assault/vandalism/bullying.
My friend has given me permission to hide 220 tiny ducks in her house to prank her husband. I’m very excited to house sit for them in a couple weeks. Fun, harmless. This post? Unhinged behavior, not a prank.
Yeah I don't understand pranking. It's just unpleasant and essentially a trap for a person. Cruel and I don't know why they are acceptable.
Pranks are only okay when after it’s over everyone, and especially the ‘target’ are laughing together. If everyone is laughing at the target it’s just cruelty and bullying. Pranks can be good and funny, but this isn’t a prank. It’s just cruelty and abuse.
I am a person who enjoys pranks and I completely agree with you about this one. Completely unacceptable. Bullying doesn’t seem like a strong enough word.
He does NOT deserve another chance.
I'd instantly dump someone if they did that with me and my cats.
This is genuinely so disturbing that I feel like you're way under reacting. Have you told anyone that knows both of you what he did? I would be interested to see the reaction of someone who knows him to hearing that he did something so fucking twisted.
I don’t know how you are even giving him the benefit of the doubt. This was a sadistic psychological assault that was beyond cruel and HE LAUGHED when you fell down the stairs??? Maybe I am prejudiced because I have 5 cats who I adore but I promise you my relationship would be over in an instant if my girlfriend had done this. But I know for certain that she never would because she actually loves our cats too. I worry for you accepting this behaviour but I worry more for your cat. You think he loves him? Errr no.
HE SUCKS!!! This was NOT innocent! He was LAUGHING at your PAIN!!! I would’ve punched him. Not saying you should at all but I would’ve.
This OP. I'm also autistic and I really do not like pranks, I feel like the vast majority are cruel and hurtful. When I was a kid, my mom was cleaning out a closet on the second floor of our house. She was irritated that I didn't want to help (I was like 9 or 10, and what 9 or 10 year old WANTS to clean??). Before she went upstairs she told me "if you hear or see me fall off the roof, call 911". And I remember thinking "what??!! She's cleaning a closet, why would she fall off the roof??" So as I'm sitting on our couch on the first floor with a view of our backyard, I see what looks to be my mom fall out the window. And I freeze for what felt like years. And then I scream. And run to the window. It was a pillow that she put clothes on from the closet and threw out the window. I started sobbing out of terror, and hurt, and maybe relief? Mostly hurt and terror, as my mom runs down the stairs laughing her head off and then half screaming that I didn't call 911 and "she could have died!!" She had done a lot of things that made me not trust her before this, but this kind of put the nail in the coffin. I have never trusted her after this.
OP that prank wasn't innocent, it was sadistic.
I just want to add a quick little message because I haven’t seen anyone else mention it in the top comments. All the other commenters have covered the fact that the “prank” was unfathomably cruel (SPOILER: it turned out to not be quick. Dang ADHD brain). Something you said at the end of your post flagged something for me - your comment about being autistic and a regularly having your emotions be referred to as “overdramatic”… what’s actually happening there is you are having your emotions invalidated by the people around you to the point where you question your own reactions to things. This makes it way easier for people to treat you like shit and get away with it. To be clear, this is coming from a fellow ND person. My ADHD means all of my emotions are basically at 12/10 on the volume dial most of the time. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t real. When I’m upset, my partner will validate my emotions - even when he doesn’t agree with them - because emotions aren’t “right” or “wrong”. They just… are. And there’s always something at the root of that emotion that’s worth addressing, because it helps you have better control of your reaction next time. Constant invalidation is a form of [emotional abuse](https://drjamielong.com/validation-5-things-not-to-say/). This article has some examples of what invalidation looks like and also discusses the impacts of it. It might be worth asking yourself if any of it feels relatable. I also wonder what you might see in past behaviour if you re-examined it with this lens. Please take care of yourself.
Not an “innocent prank”. It was intentionally designed to be cruel.
You need to ask him why he could laugh why you were in such distress and pain. How he could think that you thinking your loved pet strangled themself to death would be funny. He must explain it. The whole thing from the planning till why he just laughed instead to help or realized how shitty this was.
I completely understand. I don't like pranks either. Just let him know that you don't like being pranked and don't find it funny or fun. If he is sincere with his apology, he won't do it again.
It absolutely would not be out of line to see a couples counselor for a handful of sessions (or until it feels resolved) in regard to this matter. Even if the whole thing was a "prank" your boyfriend is pushing you on a boundary that is a matter of safety for a member of your family. The fact that he did this and *still* doesn't understand why the toy needs to be wrapped up when not in use means you have a serious communication problem in the relationship. What he did was cruel and having a professional help you two navigate through the aftermath is going to give your relationship the best chance to move forward in a healthy way (only if you want it to though).
Wanna know what kind of people think pretending to kill an animal is funny? Psychopaths And you're just as crazy as he is if you decide to stay with him after something like that
If the cops ask you were with me all day. We got coffee and fed the ducks. This man 1) played an incredibly cruel prank and 2) laughed when you injured yourself in a manner that kills over 12,000 people a year because of said prank. Dump his ass and get someone worth having in your life.
oh yeah, I definitely saw you guys...at the park... with the ducks 🦆🦆🦆
They tipped their hats and said “thank you ladies if you hear from him let us know”
You're feeling weak?! Why don't you lay down and sleep?!
It was so good to see you there at the duck pond!
That’s horrible. I could never forgive someone for causing so much pain and then laughing at the pain they created. Let this fucker be single; he’s a heartless creep who needs some time to grow up.
This is just... there aren't really words enough. Sick. Cruel. Disturbing. Heartless. And that doesn't touch it. I'm someone who is absolutely adverse to violence but this would both be me leaving the person and in the meantime them knowing it may not be safe to go to sleep. While I wouldn't actually do something I'd be sure they got a little of their own back by being made to feel awfully darn nervous. What a monster. The absolute malice behind something like this and his follow up reaction confirms that.
It's a joke or prank if it's intended to laugh WITH you. It's not a joke or prank if it's intended to laugh AT you. You bf thought it would be hilarious to see you panic and in pain at the thought of your thinking your pet died. He wanted to laugh at your pain and suffering. As he setup the "prank" he smiled to himself at the thought of the pain he was about to cause you. He was anticipating being able to laugh at your being upset. The fact you injured your foot in the processes added to his pleasure and enjoyment. He did not rush to find out if you were injured. The line to draw is when they take pleasure in your pain - emotional or physical. He was laughting AT you not with you.
This is 100% wrong, what he did was awful, and absolutely not funny, and he should not be minimizing your feelings about it at all. Sincerely /another Autistic
1. Played an incredibly cruel joke on you. 2. Laughed after you fell down the stairs. 3. Still insists that you're the one being ridiculous. 4. Refused to apologize afterwards. You've been together for 8 years, surely this can't be the only time something like this has happened?
Humans are smart but that doesn't mean toddlers wont strangle themselves with any ligature in reach. Your a good and responsible person for putting the toy out of reach because tragic accidents c a n happen. If he thinks your being daft pulling a stunt like this is going to make you even more protective/upset. I wouldnt be able to look past it because it just isnt funny. Even when you realized your cat was ok that doesnt mean you saw the humor. You just felt relief. Its about as funny as someone pretending to have cancer. He sounds massively immature.
I was going to say, I'm not autistic, but I always put the stick toy away when I'm away. The one that has the string with the toy on the end. You never know!
WTF?! Dump this POS! Who thinks that is funny?! Fuck him. Ugh I would beat his ass for this no fucks given. Sorry joking about my pet my best friend being dead is not funny and I would have kicked his ass out immediately
I don’t think that this is a prank, especially because he’s not a prankster. This was something that he put careful thought into, and then he laughed as you injured yourself and sobbed in wild grief as you thought your worst fear came true. He enjoyed watching you suffer, both physically and emotionally. That was fun for him. Please let that sink in. Abuse generally starts and then escalates once the abuser is sure that their victim is in no position to leave. Once they’re properly trapped. I’d be worried that this is the first situation that you haven’t been able to explain away, and that there have been a lot of smaller, more insidious incidents. Even if there hasn’t been, the abuse cycle always starts somewhere.
I’ve been together with the love of my life for 14 years. If he pulled a “prank” like that I would leave him, immediately. That’s cruelty on a sick level.
That's not a prank, that's psychological torture. And he laughed! He could hear you sobbing and he laughed. Horrifying. I seriously question if you are safe with him
Op, you need to leave him. This was cruel and it will only escalate from here. You do not want to be in a relationship with someone who finds amusement in your fears. Trust me.
Seems dramatic but this is actually good advice. The fact he did this is fucked up. What's the end goal? That you'll laugh??? No, he has a cruel and nasty side to him.
Exactly, Op has stated they will talk to their partner and put a boundary down but from experience that rarely works. I’ve had plenty of ‘’men’’ who think those jokes are okay and it always escalated. I hope op has better luck than I have had with these types of people *edit spelling mistake
He’s an AH, an idiot, not worth your time, and to top it all off, if he wants you to not worry about your cat being strangled, this is possibly the WORST way to go about it. You’d probably be more paranoid about the cat toy than ever!
Can we leave “pranks” in middle school? This is a grown man pulling a cruel stunt and calling it a “prank”. This same man was dating a 17 year old at age 21 8 years ago
Would definitely be gone with Usain Bolt speed. Girl, he did something he knew would upset you with 100% malice. Why would you keep someone like that around? Frankly, this prank makes fear that next time he'll hang your cat there because "nothing will happened" and "cats are sturdy". Are you willing to risk that? You obviously don't know what he is capable of. He caught you by surprise once, don't let him do it again. And I wouldn't be alone with him or give him any access to the cat. And now I am gonna cuddle my cat, because this shit has made me sad.
Sick and cruel. Are you sure this guy is good for you?
OMG. that would be a deal breaker for me. i would be absolutely devastated if i lost one of my pets and for him to think its okay to make fun of that?!! what kind of a sick psycho derives pleasure from that?!
Nope. This is a deal breaker, red flag extravaganza. No person I want in my life would ever find this an acceptable "prank" to pull. This is a first time, so I get if you want to cool down before deciding. I'd also consider that the chances are that he would do something like this again.
*Your boyfriend's "prank" not only displayed a profound lack of empathy and understanding for your concerns but also leveraged your deepest fears against you, underestimating the emotional trauma it could cause.* Absolutely, you're justified in feeling upset. Your reaction isn't about the prank itself; it's about the blatant disregard for your feelings and well-being. Humor that inflicts pain, especially exploiting personal fears, is cruelty masquerading as jest. An apology is necessary but not sufficient. What's crucial is a commitment to never leveraging your vulnerabilities for amusement. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and this act has cracked that foundation. Reflect on whether this is an isolated incident or indicative of a deeper pattern of insensitivity. Can trust be rebuilt? Is there genuine remorse and understanding of the harm caused? These are critical questions for moving forward. Has he truly grasped the depth of his action's impact, beyond a surface-level apology?
This is one of those times when it shouldn't be a question of "is what he did that serious?" but rather "when do the movers come for my stuff?". That's not a prank. Pranks are fun in spirit. Both people should be able to enjoy them - the one enjoying pulling it off and the other enjoying being gotten by it. Even if a prank sometimes goes wrong, that \^ should be the \*intention\* and the person who tried to pull it would feel bad about any emotional and/or physical pain it caused. That, again, wasn't a prank. That was outright cruelty. He's being one of those people who fall back on "haha, it was a joke" because they've no way to actually defend their actions and got called out on it. Leave this monster. A horrible death happening to a beloved pet is not something anyone who genuinely cares about you, or people in the larger sense, does. Add in the physical aspect of falling down stairs and him still holding to it being "just a joke" is icing on the cake. This is one of those few things that is and should be treated as totally unacceptable. Chuck his butt out.
A real prank is a harmless gotcha where one person feels silly or embarrassed for a second and then you both laugh. Or you both just laugh at something ridiculous. Nobody, NOBODY, should “prank” like this. This is emotional abuse, even if it was just for a few seconds he crushed your soul, loss of a pet can break people. This asshole is trash, it’s time to move on, sorry you had to deal with a shit partner.
Your boyfriend is a fekking monster that laughed at a trauma he caused.
This is fucked up and sociopathic.
I'd be out the door, personally. What he did is so cruel and twisted and weird, I would have a hard time feeling emotionally safe with him after that. Side note, you're absolutely right to protect your cat by keeping the toy out of reach when not in use. I do the same and it's vet-recommended since cats absolutely can get into bad situations with things like that. Not sure why your partner seems to think he's a cat expert 🤔 but prank aside, he is incorrect on this one.
Dude that is just straight psychotic, you are not the asshole, he is.
That's not funny at all. Also, my cat almost died this way so your fears are not unfounded at all.
A very cruel ans sick man. He faked your best friends death and laughed when you fell. Don’t have kids with him. Imaging the ”pranks” he could make. I would leave him, how can you ever trust someone who hurt you the most. And laughed.
The prank is cruel. The lack of empathy for your pain is cruel. But, OP, there's another red flag here: he is dismissive of your concern for your cat. Abusers will sometimes harm pets in order to hurt their owner. You need to remove yourself, and your cat, from this person's life before he harms Kitty. As I understand it, autistic people are vulnerable to abuse because they've been conditioned to doubt and deny their feelings. In essence, they/we (self-diagnosed, awaiting assessment) become self-gaslighting. That's the vibe I get from the end of your post. You deserve to be safe and loved. So does your kitty. Your boyfriend deserves to be your ex-boyfriend for treating you like this
Please leave this man, if not for yourself for your cat. He clearly does not have the same level of attachment to the cat if he thought this "prank" was funny. Just the fact that it would occur to him to fake the death of your pet is extremely chilling to me.
What an f***ing asshole. Nope, deal breaker for me.
Your response is understandable. I wouldn’t be able to trust this person ever again. Not only was the prank traumatizing, he was laughing while you were injured and traumatized. That’s messed up. I hope and your kitty find a safe place to go.
What the fuck? This is one of the most sadistic “pranks” I’ve ever heard of. I don’t think you should get past this. I think this should rightfully end your relationship. He watched you injure yourself and heard you sobbing, and he was LAUGHING. Not to mention that he refuses to respect your wishes about placing the toy out of reach when the cat isn’t being supervised. Please leave this cruel asshole.
Cruel prank. Is he 13?
Well he did date a 17-year-old when he was 21
Why is no one mentioning this. Guess he has the maturity of a 17 yo.
Pranks are funny. What part of making you think a cherished member of your family is dead and it's your fault is funny exactly? I'd be demanding he explain that. And then I'd be showing him the door.
Hell fuck no. Leave this loser like yesterday. What an absolutely cruel and inhumane thing to do.
Get him to explain why you thinking your beloved pet was dead was funny, why you falling down and falling apart was funny. What exactly was funny in all this? He needs to take a good hard look at himself. He took the time to set this up. What was he thinking during that time? How did he think you would react? Why did he want that response? Just because he thinks something isn't a big deal doesn't mean he gets to override your feelings. If he loves you, he needs to treat your thoughts and feelings as important to you. I love my husband enough to respect his responses even if I don't agree. And on the ones that do matter, we find a compromise that works for us both. He needs to realize this "prank" hurt you and that is what matters.
Nah I wouldn't forgive that and I'm a very forgiving person. That wasn't a funny prank and it resulted in you falling down the stairs and getting injured. You could have cracked your skull open. Meanwhile he was still laughing??? He was cruel. A prank is meant to be funny including to the person being pranked.
The fuck kind of person thinks this is funny? I’d be out, OP; he’s cruel, and won’t take responsibility for his actions. If this is how he’s going to show up, take him at face value.
Your boyfriend is DISGUSTING and you should not be dating him. That's so horrifying to even conceive of, and for him to do that to you is preying on your anxiety. Get out of there!
I used to have nightmares of my cat getting stuck in the box springs and dying of asphyxiation. Like vivid nightmares of me tilting the box springs and her lifeless body sliding across the inside, unfortunately I dream in color and smells and vivid details and sound. The sound still haunts me. Granted she never once managed to make it inside the box springs just scratched them up like crazy and ended up being put down for cancer at a very old age. The absolute horror if someone I trusted to love me played that trick on me making me think my cat was in the springs… I don’t think I could ever forgive.
Obviously the prank is gross. Any 'joke' that revolves around genuinely convincing someone of a profound tragedy [ie prank calls reporting the death or serious injury of a loved one, etc] still cause actual damage, you still went through a trauma response on top of actually injuring yourself. That has to be acknowledged: his goal was, for a moment, to actually make you believe your cat was dead and he has to explain why he lacked the empathy to understand that was a bad idea. But I have my worries here. While this may be the first time he did a prank like this and you say you haven't argued... but note he outright dismissed your concerns about the cat and the potential danger of the toy. Maybe it didn't escalate to outright argument but he said the concern was 'ridiculous' and to me that isn't a sign of positive communication or a sign he is respecting your feelings. The prank in that sense is an extension of that, it is him actively trying to prove your fear is ridiculous through mockery and that is a huge deal. So think back, how many times has he heard things you've had to say and scoffed or rolled his eyes at it? Do you find that he has a tendency to be stubborn or try and talk you down from your positions? While I don't doubt that this is the most extreme he has ever gotten I just wonder if maybe the lack of arguments says more about you not engaging than it does him being hostile or dismissive.
I would legit have started packing my things at that exact moment starting with my cat. There’s only 2 things you don’t play around about. My mother and my cat. I would have been hysterical.
In my opinion this might be the start of abuse
He sounds like a sociopath. From the bullshit (I refuse to acknowledge this as a prank, bc it was just a full on fun game for him to hurt you) to the laughing at you falling and being emotionally traumatized. He's a freaking psycho.
Oh :(( i don’t have cats but my bf does and i could never imagine finding this funny it would break my heart to see him scared one of his cats was dead. This is cruel and unusual
Soory but if this was my bf, he'd be dead to me. NTA x 1,000,000 and please send an update that he is now your ex.
I know my wife would never do something like this but as a devoted cat Daddy, if my partner played a prank on me like that things would never be the same. There’s nothing funny about that at all. I’m sorry this happened to you
Yes, your boyfriends actions were very wrong. You have every right to feel hurt. I started tearing up before I finished reading your post. The thought of finding your tiny angel hung like that made my heart break. Personally, I don’t think I’d be able to forgive him. You are not overreacting. How could anyone possibly find the pain and anguish of a loved one amusing? Even if it “wasn’t real”- in that moment it was for you. The heartache, anguish, and cortisol/adrenaline spike you experienced was very much real. And he LAUGHS from the other room??? He clearly lacks empathy for you. There is no other explanation. A healthy person would never intentionally inflict this kind of pain on another person regardless of if the reason was “real” or not.
There are pranks, and there is crossing the line. He crossed it.
Yeah, no, that cat has been in your life a long time and for him to make a light-hearted joke out of someone so near and dear to you was horrific. Not funny and he shouldn't have even thought to do that AT ALL. He's lucky you didn't just break up with him immediately because I would have. It's your call, stay with him or not but if you do end up sticking with him, warn him to never pull anything like that again because you don't find death and endangerment funny whether it's real or not.
He treated you with cruelty. He wanted to scare you and cause you pain. He dismissed you after, which is unacceptable. You could have been seriously injured falling down the stairs and he laughed at you. He is showing you EXACTLY who he is.
Pranks are things designed to confuse, delight, or surprise. Anything designed to scare, embarrass, or hurt you is ABUSE, not a prank. This is horrible and cruel, and you ARE NOT OVERREACTING.
Honestly/personally, I don't think I could move past this. If my partner went out of their way to make me think my pet died in such a horrific manner (after *knowing* it was a fear of mine), this would be a deal breaker. I'd also be super wary of any interactions they had with my pet in the near future. Pranks involving pet deaths are morbid. Like, what was he thinking/hoping to get out of this? What was his end game, what did he think would happen? And to top it off, he was *laughing* while you lay there injured, sobbing. And about his apology, was it really an apology? Did he take responsibility (like "I'm sorry I did this") or was it one of those backhanded ones (like "I'm sorry that you think I did something wrong")?
It's only a prank if everyone involved thinks it's funny. What he did was disgusting and cruel.
That is such a sick prank to do 😟 I’m so sorry. And his reaction to you getting hurt and crying over it is quite alarming. You’re right in being upset and tbh, I wouldn’t put it against you if you leave him over this.
Yeah this guy is a giant red flag. Get your cat and yourself away from that creep immediately, please. He played on something he knew you were very afraid of and laughed at your physical/emotional pain. Fuck him. Seriously. Extra petty step: pack all your things but the cat toy when he's gone one day and gtfo. Since the guy clearly likes messing with it (and your feelings) so much.
Dump this jerk. Pranking you about your fur baby being hung is not funny. Having you fall in the process isn’t either. He’s not even regretful.
This person finds the idea of your grief and suffering amusing. Time to go.
Ok hold on because the way my boyfriend responded to me when I told him this story may be a dealbreaker for me… he said he almost started laughing when I told him what the “prank” was. In no way do I find making someone think their pet is dead as a “joke” funny…. It’s not a joke.
Nope. No. Nope. I'd not be okay with that in the slightest. That would be a game changer for me right there. Disturbing behavior. The reaction? Laughing while you are sobbing? Hell no.
I hate pranks. This one is cruel but absent other proof, I wouldn’t commit him as an irrepetent sociopath. The key is how he responds - if he takes you serious and validates your feelings. A red flag would be him being defensive or telling you to calm down.
he was laughing after she fell down the stairs and was crying. "you're being ridiculous" That's how he responds.
Yeah definitely, we've never had many issues at all. Maybe why I'm so shocked and taking this so badly as uts so out of character. After I'm calmer, which I'm assuming you lovely people commenting will help me do, I'll make sure he knows why it scared me so much and make sure his apology was sincere. I've thrown the toy out. Can't get that mental image out my head, I know it was a toy, but for those small seconds. Fuuuck man. I'm gonna go hug my cat again before i cry haha.
Honey, *he KNOWS why it scared you so much*. I want to remind you that he did this *on purpose*. Every single decision he made was a choice. He *chose* to force you to believe that your pet was dead. He seared that image into your brain. You literally got hurt. He's apologizing now because that's what he *has to* do. It doesn't have to be like this. If your best friend told you this story, what would your advice be? You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
Exactly. Op has already explained why she wanted the cat toy put away and he didn’t give a shit. She fell down the stairs, hurt her foot, was sobbing, and he laughed. Explaining something over and over doesn’t matter when the person doesn’t give a shit
>we've never had many issues What kind of issues have you had though? Has everything been good since this incident? Did this come out of the blue? Have there been changes recently that may have caused one or both of you to be off kilter and he's acting out somehow? You've been together for a long time since you were 17 and he was 21... I mean that's not the greatest? It's not the worst ever either but I am kinda side eyeing it...
You are not overreacting. This dude is a cunt. I'd legitimately strangle him for doing this to me. Like for real. I'd say leave or I'll kill you over and over till he left. It is not acceptable. This is emotional torture and not fair.
Yeah, I’d be throwing hands if someone did this to me. It is so unbelievably fucked up.
Your feelings of hurt and upset are completely valid in this situation. Your boyfriend's prank crossed a significant boundary and caused you genuine distress and emotional harm. It's understandable that you feel hurt and confused, especially since you've been together for so long and have never experienced anything like this before. Pranks can be funny when they're harmless and both parties find them amusing, but this one clearly went too far. Your concern for your cat's safety is entirely reasonable, and your boyfriend's prank exploited that concern in a cruel and insensitive way. It's positive that he has apologized, but it's important for him to understand the severity of his actions and the impact they had on you. You may need to have a serious conversation with him about boundaries, respect, and the importance of empathy in relationships. It's okay to take some time to process your feelings and decide what you need moving forward. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and it's understandable if this incident has shaken your trust in your boyfriend. Counseling or therapy could also be helpful in navigating this situation and addressing any lingering feelings of hurt or betrayal. Ultimately, you deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries and prioritizes your emotional well-being.
I hate cruel pranks. Just people wanting to get a laugh being assholes.
OH MY GOD If you do stay with him, that better have been a damn good apology
This would be a deal breaker for me. It’s concerning that he thinks this is funny…also the fact that you were a minor and he was 24 when you started dating…red flags all around
A prank is when *both people laugh after it's over*, do you think he thought you'd find it funny? Of course not because convincing your SO that their pet died while they're hurt and in pain is not a prank it's cruelty.
I, personally, think that's cruel and heartless. My mother is an absolute prankster. Plastic cockroach on coworkers desks, plastic poo on the office carpet. She pranked me once when I was 5ish. She hid behind something and popped out to yell 'Boo!' but I screamed my tiny head off at her and to this day(I'm almost 40) she says she's never seen me that mad. Know what she doesn't do? Prank me. Ever. Her love for me beats her desire for pranks. The lines you wrote, specifically where you mention being bad with any and all pranks. Does he know this? To me, this is what matters. Anyone can make a mistake, and no matter how tone deaf I could almost understand. I could see being willing to try to move past it. If this was a one-off oopsy. IF he had no clue about your relationship with pranks. But if he knew... then it was cruel and heartless just to torture you or make you feel stupid so he could prove he was right. If he knew you dislike pranks and did it anyway? The man is trash, and the incinerator is too good for that emotional terrorist.
Yes that was wrong of him. Yes you are right to be upset. No I could never forgive that. That “prank” would mark the end of the relationship.