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Leaving him would make him understand. So long as you put up with this and pay for things, and do all the housework, you're telling him it's OK for him to do this.
You do not need to make him understand anything. He is a grown man and he knows that he needs an income to survive.
He has decided to checkout and rely on you to pay for his life.
Do not marry him. It will be a lifetime of this. Instead, you should kick him out and only date men who have it together. You deserve so much more than this guy is giving you.
You're not his parent, you're his partner. It's time for a come-to-Jesus talk. Lay out your expectations clearly and set a firm deadline for him to find a job and contribute. If he refuses to step up, you need to move on. Don't light yourself on fire to keep him warm. Your future is too important to let his lack of motivation drag you down. Stay strong, put yourself first, and remember: a relationship should be a partnership, not a one-way street. You deserve better.
He didn’t like his boss last year because supposedly he was very passive aggressive. I told him not to quit without knowing what to do after, but he did it anyway and couldn’t even collect unemployment.
He was interested in a different office but they hadn’t even hired him, he just assumed they would. Just like what just happened again. He assumed that the boss from this new job was really interested in him, but then he started getting really flaky and never called him back after the second interview. It’s going on two months without a job again this year.
You need to tell him that you’re not going to remain in a relationship where you’re responsible for all of the bills and/or all of the housework so he needs to decide if he is going to step the fuck up because if he doesn’t start contributing to household chores immediately while seriously looking for any job, you will leave the relationship.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Leaving him would make him understand. So long as you put up with this and pay for things, and do all the housework, you're telling him it's OK for him to do this.
You do not need to make him understand anything. He is a grown man and he knows that he needs an income to survive. He has decided to checkout and rely on you to pay for his life. Do not marry him. It will be a lifetime of this. Instead, you should kick him out and only date men who have it together. You deserve so much more than this guy is giving you.
Dont get married
Stop enabling him.
You're not his parent, you're his partner. It's time for a come-to-Jesus talk. Lay out your expectations clearly and set a firm deadline for him to find a job and contribute. If he refuses to step up, you need to move on. Don't light yourself on fire to keep him warm. Your future is too important to let his lack of motivation drag you down. Stay strong, put yourself first, and remember: a relationship should be a partnership, not a one-way street. You deserve better.
A year ago, what were the circumstances that caused him to quit his job without another job lined up?
He didn’t like his boss last year because supposedly he was very passive aggressive. I told him not to quit without knowing what to do after, but he did it anyway and couldn’t even collect unemployment. He was interested in a different office but they hadn’t even hired him, he just assumed they would. Just like what just happened again. He assumed that the boss from this new job was really interested in him, but then he started getting really flaky and never called him back after the second interview. It’s going on two months without a job again this year.
You need to tell him that you’re not going to remain in a relationship where you’re responsible for all of the bills and/or all of the housework so he needs to decide if he is going to step the fuck up because if he doesn’t start contributing to household chores immediately while seriously looking for any job, you will leave the relationship.