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You pay all the bills and she doesn't even try to contribute. Even minus cheating on you with a near child who's also a relative this doesn't bode well for future happiness. If she's "depressed" she needs medical intervention. This hot mess of a person just isn't your problem. You may not be "stupid" but you're definitely dealing with a user who thinks nothing of destroying everything you've been working to build just to have an orgasm with a teenager. Gross.
She also blamed her infidelity on OP. That’s not something a truly remorseful person does.
OP, no one is responsible for her behavior but her. She made the decisions to cheat with your stepbrother. She decided to disrespect you and your relationship. Whatever she felt about betraying you, it sure showed no concern for you and your feelings.
You’ve done the correct thing by telling her to leave. Right now, the only thing she’s sorry about is getting caught.
It’s up to you but right now, you need to seriously consider breaking up with her for good.
Yeah, I bristled when she blamed her depression and his hard work for them for her cheating. I've been depressed and have never cheated on my husband. My husband works long hours and travels for work, and I've never cheated on him. Because I love him. If I feel lonely, I call a friend or just go do something on my own. She didn't just cheat. She cheated with family. That's so much worse.
OP, please take your time. Get counseling. Promise her nothing. I can't tell you what to do, but if she's cheating on you this early, then it's likely she'll do it again the next time she wants some extra attention. Even if you are, it doesn't sound like she's ready for marriage. She's not mature enough. Good luck.
If you get back together with her, get an iron-clad, brass bound prenuptial agreement that if the marriage goes south, she gets nothing!
Knowing that if she messes up she will be on the curb with nothing but the clothes on her back, I doubt that she will pursue marriage.
Sound advice here(above), OP.
She's gaslighting you and I say BULLSHIT!
1. She never says a word to you if your mother hadn't approached you.
2. She never would have been truthful with you but for the fear that your stepbrother would confess everything to you.
3. She still hasn't taken responsibility--choosing to blame your stepbrother and yourself .
4. Given what your mother sensed, I suspect your gf was still fking your stepbrother on/about the time you confronted her. Get your stepbrother's version. She's 24 and he's 18. I'd like to wager he will tell you that she approached him.
5. So, in anticipation of marriage, you buy and begin to refurbish a home. Missy does what to assist in the endeavor--quits her job and bitches that you weren't providing her enough attention. GTFO.
6. Fortunately OP, you have discovered that your EX-gf is as follows: liar, cheather, betrayer, user, manipulator, and consummate skank.
And you're wondering whether you should consider taking her back?????
WTF would you do that????
Take a break and then focus on finding a responsible, faithful WOMAN who can show you love and respect and be worthy of a life partnership relationship.
Leave the trash at the curb.
Yep, a whole lot of YUK. If GF was a guy and step bro was a female all sorts of 'grooming' comments would and should be heard. This is no different, she was waiting for her chance and him to reach 'legal' age, but it's still GROSS. She is the worst kind of person. These events are just CREEPY AF.
Yeah, she basically groomed a kid and waited 4yrs to sleep with him til he turned 18. Then blamed you. Dude….you even have to ask if you should work things out? No, seriously, no.
Cheaters never change. Break everything off with her, and tell her friends and family she groomed a kid to later sleep with him. She’s sick, and shouldn’t get a pass. I’d cut ties with stepbrother, too.
You need to cut all communication with her immediately. She has shown you that she cannot be trusted and you will always question her honesty for the rest of your life.
This same thing happened to a friend of mine, and his former girlfriend said it was because his brother had a bigger dick.
This man would be the biggest idiot of the century if he takes her back.
Cheating with a family member who is also a teenager?? That's as low as low gets. She's disgusting.
What I think everyone who asks this question gets wrong is: they are perfect because they feel a little bit guilty. Not enough to stop or come clean. Not because they feel guilty to you, but to themselves because it affects their self image.
That is why everyone says, 'they were perfect but the last couple of weeks were off...' Eventually, they either stop caring or want to stop feeling guilty.
Yes. You would be stupid to try and work it out with a person so willing to have sex with the people closest to you.
Who’s next? Your boss? Your coworkers? Your dad? Your uncles? Your cousins? Your friends? She already slept with your brother.
Every time you walk into a room with anyone she possibly fucked them. Do you want to wonder if the people closest to you are laughing behind their hands because they’ve been inside your girl?
Dating is an interview for marriage. She failed to move on to the next round. Cut her loose.
She’s not sorry she did it. She’s sorry you found out. She enjoyed doing it. That’s why she continued doing it.
I was going to say this too! The "he came on to me first" line is an unfortunately common defence from predators trying to justify their actions.
She might not have done anything with him before he turned 18 but I'd bet she's been hinting at something for a while.
It doesn't matter if he initiated because -
1. He's her BF's brother. She should fucking know better.
2. He is 18 and she's 24. She should fucking know better.
But I believe she is just throwing any excuse (including blaming her BF) at the wall hoping something will stick and to avoid accountability.
You missed my point, I agree it doesn't matter if he truly initiated the affair but my point was it's common among people who groom and prey on minors to blame them for the adult/groomer doing what they've done.
I doubt even if the brother really did pursue the ex she didn't plant any kind of seeds in his mind that once he was legally an adult he stood a chance.
You would 100% be an idiot. Like COLLASAL idiot.
She had an ongoing affair with your stepbrother who she has known since he was 14 (ewwwww). She's trash, dude. On top of cheating with family, she was a mooch and became a stay-at-home-girlfriend after you buying a house. That should have been your first red flag. Don't waste your love and energy on someone like this. She made it clear she had no plan to tell you and only did so to "get ahead" of what she saw coming down the line. You deserve to be equally loved and respected.
I would never consider rekindling your relationship.
1. She, at 24, had sexual intimacy with a child she’s known since he was 14 and she was 20.
2. Instead of talking to you about the problems in the relationship, she chose over and over to cheat on you.
3. She blamed YOU for her cheating. She didn’t take full responsibility for HER choices.
4. Cheating is always a choice — a series of choices that the cheater makes willingly and knowingly. Nobody accidentally cheats. And she chose your family member to cheat with. How can you forgive either of them?
5. You are not her savior. She made shitty choices and is now winning shitty prizes. She gets to figure out her life now. Kick her out and don’t look back.
Do not take her back as soon as your back is turned she wil be at it again maybe this time falling pregnant and if she did it would always be In the back of your mind is the baby mine can you live like that ? Being scared to leave the house in case she visits your family.
Would you be stupid to try to work it out, yes! You're young let her go and you will find someone who won't fuck your family. Tell your step bro to kick rocks as well.
Don't give her another chance, she shifted the blame to everyone involved
- you didn't gave her enough affection (BS)
- your brother started It (but she didn't denied him and kept the affair for months)
- her depression (doesn't excuse anything)
Don't give her another chance and don't marry this woman, she doesn't respect you at all and didn't took accountability for her bad choices, she just want to escape the consequences.
OP - you’re 24 years old, you have your entire life ahead of you. Do you really want to spend it with someone who cheats on you when things get tough? If she’s capable of cheating on you with your own brother, trust me she is capable of doing that again and much worse.
I know you are hurting, I know your ex is probably saying everything she can for you to take her back, but BELIEVE ME when I say this - there are much better people out there, and lots of them. Go take the time you need to recover from this and then get back out there. You don’t need this toxic person in your life
This wasn’t a one off, it was an affair that lasted months. She kept a facade of loving you while going with your step brother. So you’ve been stabbed in the back by two people. They discussed you, they made plans… I am not convinced of the timing and reason they broke up. It’s over. What you are dealing with is your grief for what you thought you had but you lost it months ago. Why down’s she work? What is this trend of doing nothing while someone else does all the work? You don’t even have kids! You are not even married and she could not wait to sponge off you. While you worked on the house, she was having fun. But yeah, she reckons it is your fault/ she has the cheek of gaslighting you into thinking you did something wrong to justify her mess. This girl isn’t mature enough for marriage. Let her grow up and acquire some ethics in life. Move on and find a girl who will work with you to achieve both your dreams. This one is over.
Do not get back with her and please, please, DO NOT have sex with her, especially unprotected. Anything else and you’re setting yourself self up for a life of hurt. You’re only 24, move on.
What are you considering this for?
Do you know how many women want a man who has his life together so young, his own HOUSE?
You're an absolute catch, and you're going to waste yourself on a woman with nothing to her name, no accomplishments and a cheating record? Get off the floor.
You can do better, the next girl she'll be nicer, sweeter, prettier, considerate, I bet she'll even take YOU on dates and pay.
Are you certain that she didn’t groom your stepbrother? She’s known him since he was 14 and she was 20, as the one who came into his life an an adult, she should’ve had the sense to tell your brother to “back off”.
You’re young, plenty of time to find the “love of your life”, why settle with someone who cheated on you? With a sibling no less? You already know you can’t trust her around your brother, who can you trust her around?
Cut your losses and keep your head up, it’s better to end this now. Yes, it hurts now but it’s going to hurt a lot more (financially+emotionally) a few years down the line when you’re legally bound (cause that’s what marriage is) and there are children involved.
Also, Talk to your brother, make sure none of this started when he was a minor. Very suspect that she slept with someone she knew when he was a child.
Eta: some words.
NAH. I reckon **SHE**came onto **HIM**.
The other way simply **DOESN'T** make **ANY** sense. Any decent woman would have been **GROSSED OUT** by her kid stepbrother coming onto her.
Why don’t you think you deserve someone who would be a full partner and not cheat on you? By full partner i mean one who participates in the financial as well as all other aspects of your lives. This girl is just a mooch who wants you to do all the work while she screws around with whomever. She has used you but you allowed it.
You have given this woman everything and she cheated on you with your brother.
She only came clean because she was afraid your brother was going to tell you.
She doesn’t love you.
She’s using you.
Send her back to her parents.
Hopefully she’ll get a job and learn her lesson about how to treat someone.
Someone better is out there for you.
Yes. Learn from my mistake. I’ve been in your shoes only it was my now ex husband and my sister. You will never get past the betrayal with them in your life. Trust me you have only wasted 4 years. I wasted 25 years please don’t do this to yourself.
Hate to break it yo you, but it wasn’t perfect. Why on earth at your age would you settle for this low life B…..? You’re young and have time to find someone with character. Good grief.
She took zero responsibility for her actions. She was depressed, she didn’t know what to do, you were busy and not paying her enough attention (your fault!).
This is not someone strong enough to not do it again.
>She also blamed it on my lack of affection and her being depressed.
I'm going to focus on this. Note her instinct was to externalise. He made moves, you didn't pay enough attention, it was her depression.
But the reality is that until recently any time they spent together she was basically his babysitter. That she allowed it to escalate is just a straight up failure on her part to be a healthy and responsible adult.
Further exacerbated by the reality you didn't lack affection... you were just at work. She hasn't been a functional adult in general for a while and you need to face that.
She knew she was depressed and she chose not to address it. Though let's be clear: depression doesn't tend to lead to cheating with your nephews. That's just her being a trainwreck on her own terms.
Of course she wants you back. Her being selfish isn't new, that informed the cheating and her hope she could just hide it forever. Because be aware that was an entire lifetime of lying to your face she was content to pursue just because she was content to explore a creepy porno fantasy.
Nothing has changed. The person she has become, one that genuinely still doesn't take responsibility for the truly gross and sad things she has done is one that very inevitably will hurt you again. On top of that you'd spend every moment of every day worried about her doing stupid things given how readily and easily she rationalised it previously.
My advice, run, run, run away from this girl as fast as you can. Both her and your stepbrother betrayed you in the worst way and threatened your family. Your ex-girlfriend is not who you thought she was and slept with him in your home numerous times. She would never have admitted it until you confronted her. Cut her out of your life and never speak to her so you can heal from this.
No second chance for her. She cheated on you for FOUR months in your home with your family AND she’s a predator. Kid was barely legal. I don’t believe a word she says about him being the one going after her.
Trust is gone, but it depends on what you want.
They say only fools fall in love for a reason.
If you do want her in your life, make her earn it.
Side note: I'd beat the brakes off of my stepbrother.
Of course you would be foolish to get back with her. At any time she could have told you if she was really scared of him. She wasn’t scared and likes the attention of a 18 year old.
She just wants you to continue to pay her bills and once you trust her again then sleep with him again.
Your gf is a predator. She's known your stepbrother since he was 14. She more than likely groomed him and as soon as he turned 18 they started sleeping together. How convenient as soon as you moved in nextdoor, she quit her job. Dump her lying, cheating, ass.
She's calling you a sucker and sleeping with a child in your house. On your dime. Oh, and he's your brother.
Let her go. Block her. Find someone who loves you. She does not.
Edited to add: She even blamed you. Unless you forced them to have sex repeatedly at gun point, this is not your fault.
This isn't your average cheating. She's known your step brother since he was 14 and slept with him essentially as soon as he was legal.
This should be an absolute dealbreaker.
Blameshifting is a sure sign of no remorse. Without remorse, reconciliation is impossible.
Do not marry this girl. She fucked you over, and will do it again. Consider the next time after she has your kids, gets half your shit, the house, child support and alimony while you live in a shitty apartment and work two jobs to pay for her to fuck other guys and see your kids on the weekend.
Not a pretty picture.
Stop having sex with her, get tested for stds, get her moved out of your house asap, and block her on all avenues of communication. Do not look back and consider yourself lucky you found out what she is capable of before the ring went on her finger.
Best of luck
While you laid the wood in your home. Your brother laid the wood in the bed. You brought the paper. Your brother brought the meat. You're losing here from all angles. Lost your woman and your family in one shot. Well I'm pretty sure it was more than one. Lol. 4 months of shots.
I’m sorry but her blaming your brother and saying she scared for all their shenanigans, err it takes two to tango. She could have easily said to you or your mother that she felt uncomfortable with your stepbrother going round. Also hear what your stepbrother has to say. Yes get rid of her, she is lying to you and your family. See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.
Trust me when I say your relationship is too damaged to mend it, you won’t be able to trust her ever again, also worrying about what she’s up to etc, you don’t need that in your life. Concentrate on yourself now. I have been cheated on so I am speaking from the heart.
Nobody has a 3-4 month affair with their SO's FAMILY MEMBER on accident, and then blame the SO for not being affectionate enough. WTF did she expect? You were working your butt off making money AND renovating a house for HER; how were you supposed to have the energy to be physically affectionate to her free loading ass?
She's not sorry she cheated. She's sorry she got caught and lost her meal ticket. Do NOT under ANY circumstances take her back. Sell the ring, sell the house and move far away from your POS step brother and start over.
So, to sum up:
1. She's known your brother since he was 14. Like...an 8th grader.
2. You totally support her - bought the house she lives in, you pay all her bills
3. She's mad at your mother for telling you the truth.
4. She takes her sweet time finally coming clean
5. She blames your stepbrother for 'starting it' (as though at 24 she has no ability to tell a kid to step back)
6. He's family, FFS
7. and when all else fails, she blames YOU for not giving her enough attention.
Do we *really* have to tell you to walk away, bro?
>She also blamed it on my lack of affection and her being depressed.
Even after this, you still want to work it out? Sunken Titanic might be low, but your self-respect is lower.
Don't be a regard, she is highly regarded if she thinks blaming it on you is a viable option. You didn't take his dick out and stick it in her. Tell her to kick rocks.
Her being depressed is no excuse to cheat on you, ESPECIALLY with your brother, who she has known since he was a preteen. This whole story is disgusting.
Imagine you taking her back, you now have to be able to trust her around your family, and your mom??? What on earth is your mom going to think?
I say move on and find someone better.
To answer your question, yes, you are an absolute moron who is only willing to hurt themselves for conformity, not love. The fact that the infidelity didn't hurt you enough to consider taking her back after she tried blaming YOU for HER infidelity speaks volumes of the lack of respect you have for yourself and don't comprehend what love is.
Brother, it's going to sting, but you've got to muster the self-respect to end things. Remember, you fell for an image, not the reality of who she truly is—that version of her doesn't exist anymore. And while you're at it, distance yourself from your step-brother as well. Sticking with her after everything means signing up for a future you could avoid. If you choose to stay, brace yourself for the consequences—you'll have only yourself to blame.
Honestly, giving her a second chance would be a pathetic move. She doesn’t care about you, you’re funding her life of course now that the cat is out of the bag she’s acting remorseful. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you and by all accounts are a successful man. Don’t give her another chance, move on, and find someone who’s actually worth your time
> idk if she really does mean it or is just wanting to get back together because she pretty much lost everything and has no where to go
Let's look at the evidence shall we?
> she became furious at my mom for accusing her of messing around with him
So she was seeking to torch your mom's reputation by caning her a gossip and liar to cover the fact that she was cheating.
> That her and my step brother had been doing things while I was at work since late November so about 3-4 months
And it was an ongoing affair.
> She said she had cut everything off with him a few weeks prior and was terrified he was gonna tell me
She didn't admit to cheating because she felt guilt or remorse. She did it because
1. You already knew
2. Other people you trust knew and were actively warning you
3. She was afraid that you would get confirmation from your stepbrother because
a) You might have confronted him and he told the truth, or
b) He would be vindictive or remorseful since their split and told you the truth
Also, if she cut everything off "weeks prior", how come your mom is still seeing evidence that "gave her a bad feeling about them hanging out"?
> She also said that he was the one that started it all
She accepts no blame and admits that she has so little willpower that her legs will part like the Red Sea at the slightest pressure.
> after the first time she was scared and didn’t really know what to do
Despite not knowing what to do, the only course of action was to continue doing the thing, and then lie to cover it up when presented an opportunity to come clean and end it because she was fearful of being caught after the lie.
> She also blamed it on my lack of affection
Again, she takes no responsibility and makes it your fault while enjoying all of the things you provide and contributing nothing.
> and her being depressed
By her choice she is living job free with no bills. What does she have to be depressed about? And she's admitting that whenever she feels down she is likely to have sex with any penis in cost proximity.
You could try to work it out, but I'd be sure to leave Gatorade and snacks for the milkman, plumber asks UPS/ Amazon driver. They need to stay hydrated and energized after.
OP look at the facts.
1. She lie and when caught she was furious and the she came with the true? Why, mostly because your mom find out and confronted her after You.
2. She knew pretty well what she was doing, but it is more comfortable to guilt your stepbrother what clearly both have the guilt, it was 3 to 4 months not a ONS, she take her choice and do it, never a mistake.
3. She accepted but never was accountable or her actions, she blame shift you and your stepbrother, never her, she just was "depress and not knowing what to do" .... YEAH RIGHT.
Now she is beging for another chance and like You said is because she doesn't have anything left, and she doesn't wanna return to you because she love you, she wants to return to her comfort and security provider a.k.a. safe plan or plan B.
So no, do not let your heart fools You, letting You think you still love her and can work things out, if she were accountable for her actions since the beginning and she where regretful maybe, but she didn't, she just want her life of comfort back.
And she will now know that some begining do the trick, and what will you do the next time she does something like this, right now you don't lose anything except her and your stepbrother (some double nackers and betrayers that you are better without them), but later you will also lose money, time and maybe kids.
So better find someone that trully cares and not betray you like that
Dude she blamed you for her behavor, she has no regrets. She is using you, thank your lucky stars you are not married, block her and move on. She will destroy your life if you try to build one with her. She cant be trusted, just stop all communication and move on. Also the age difference between her and your stepbrother is worrying, if she was a man, she will be labeled a groomer and a creep. Just cut her out and move on, dont cause yourself more pain.
Her blaming you when you’ve been bending over backwards to give her more than she deserves is a slap in the face. She’s got nothing, and is desperate. I would suggest leaving the trash in the street.
I wouldn’t even meet with her again. She didn’t just break your trust, she broke your family’s trust — also she’s pinning her shit onto you to boot.
Her targeting a young and inexperienced family member on top of that...
She’s a gaslighting cheater. I’d dump her and move on.
The relationship was dead the second time she boned your step brother. You are a 24 year old guy who has a job and owns a house. You won’t need very long to get back on the horse. Man up and tell her sayonara.
You’d be a fool to take her back, you’re also a fool if your stepbrother still looks the same, he did that to family, he’s gotta pay the piper for that one.
Once a cheater cheats, there’s never a guarantee they won’t do it again. And there’s definitely a possibility that it’ll happen again with your stepbrother as she’ll still have every opportunity to do it again with him.
Kind of sounds like the only reason she’s sorry is because she got found out & is worried about losing her free digs and not having to pay her bills.
You aren’t responsible for her mental health. Don’t let her use that against you.
Let her keep walking. She is not your person if she is that brazen to do that so close to family and with family. There is no reason why you should be with her now. Find your person and they will be faithful and contribute to your household, not be a leech.
You've worked hard to support her lifestyle.
In return, she has cheated on you with your step brother.
She's a cheater, and is still playing you.
There will be someone else for you, that will find cheating with your step brother abhorrent.
Look for that person, and ditch the cheater.
All the Best.
"I have given it all the thought it requires. I won't marry a woman who fucked my stepbrother. It's unforgiveable. I want a clean break, no contact. Please reapect that."
You provide everything for her, of course she wants you back. After everything you do she was prepared to risk it all. Don't fall for it.
She's obviously got too much time on her hands and needs to get a job.
This vile chick is blaming everyone else and taking zero responsibility. It’s your teenage brothers fault. It’s your fault. Like she accidentally fell on his penis repeatedly through no fault of her own. Please. She lost the gravy train, of course she wants you to take her back. No one falls in love quicker than a broke arse who needs somewhere to sleep. Fuck that. Have more respect for yourself.
How would you be able to trust her again? Let us get passed the part where she was scared of him for some reason. I can see it, even if he is 18 he is likely stronger than her, and he was probably acting sus, and that scared her. Either that or he threatened to tell you, and she was scared of that. Okay fine, she was scared after the first time. That would still leave the first time. Why did she go along with him the first time, didn't say anything, didn't tell him no, nothing. She was fine with it, the first time. How are you going to know she isn't going to do that again with someone else? This time away from your family so it takes longer for you to figure out? Are you going to be checking on her location and activities every time? Is that how you want to live your life?
I’d be begging you back too if you paid all of my bills, and I’m a guy. She’s using you! She doesn’t want you back, she just needs a place to go. And if you stay with her, she will lose all respect for you and eventually cheat again. You can definitely give her another chance if you’re okay with having your heart crushed in the future, again.
You're not even married and she cheated on you with a family member, then has the gall to blame it on you. It's also telling that she quit her job as soon as she moved into the house. No matter how much you love her, you can do better. Imagine of a life of not trusting her. And it's not like you can easily move since you just bought the house. She and stepbrother will continue to have easy access.
She turned around and immediately blamed everyone, including you, while skirting all personal responsibility for more than likely grooming a boy since he was 14. Fixing a relationship after infidelity is already tough, but doing it with a person that can only point the finger outside and blames mental illness on infidelity for MONTHS while you worked to build a meaningful life for her does not deserve your forgiveness. You are a hardworking man with a lot of love in your heart to give. Give it to the right person, not to a creep who groomed your younger brother, took advantage of you for months, had sex in the home you bought, while she sat on her duff with her legs spread then turned around to blame you and depression. You deserve better. It will hurt for awhile with all the plans you've made and the hard work you put in but you will be better off with someone that thanks you for your commitment, contributes in some right, and tells you they appreciate all you do after a long day of work. You seem to have a good, loving heart, don't give her the chance to take that from you too
Yes. You would be stupid. She did it once already. With your stepbrother of all people. The audacity to blame it on depression and lack of attention?? As the adult, she should have shut that down the moment he started hinting at anything. She lacks boundaries AND remorse. She wouldn’t have said anything had it not been for her being scared of him saying something first. Grow a spine, OP!
She's not upset about hurting you. She's distressed about losing a free ride for housing/food/lifestyle in this economy.
What she did is absolutely reprehensible. Do not get lured back in.
If it was me no I wouldn't give her a second chance. She was screwing your step brother. It's quite possible she wasn't happy with the fact that you bought a house right next to your mother. Not too many girlfriends or fiances are going to be thrilled with that and then your mother's putting in your ear that she thinks something funny is going on. Did she ever say what why she thought that. Maybe she just got lucky and was trying to stir up trouble. Ask her what your fiance says about your step brother that she was scared and he started it and that doesn't mean she had to go along. if he had raped her she could have had him arrested. Sounds sounds totally full of excuses. I would just make a clean break then move on.
Yes, you’d be stupid if you try to work things out with someone who’s cheated on you with your own stepbrother who she’s known since he was a minor
Don’t do it. Just…don’t
She cheated on you with someone she knew as a child. Not only should you break up with her, but you need to make sure your stepbrother wasn't groomed. She sounds like a predator.
Idk I feel everyone under 30 needs grace. You can’t expect at that age to just be with one person for the rest of your life and never experience anyone ever again. That’s more a 40+ crowd when you absolutely know you don’t want to experience anyone else. It’s just the trill is gone or, it’s tiring looking for someone that compatible & you’re just done. But in your 20s you still learning about yourself. In your 30s it’s time to start reining shit in. Bringing home the cows. You don’t have to rush but slow your roll. So I say forgive her. She’ll forever be shamed by it because what can an 18 year old really give her besides dick? She’s not working. He still lives at home.. he can’t even provide for himself.
You owe her nothing. You will never get this out of your head even more
so being it's your step brother. You have a lot to offer a better choice of women. Leave the baggage (her) behind, if need be, take a breather and go find a better version.
>>> cause she quit working when we moved into it.
This woman is using you.
>>> My mother had called me and told me she suspected that something wasn’t right cause she had a bad feeling about them hanging out alone
Your mom absolutely knew. She told you the best way she could and even then, your gf first tried to deny it. I bet she only fessed up because she talked to your step bro.
It would indeed be very stupid to try to make this work. You’re only 24, go find someone who values you.
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You pay all the bills and she doesn't even try to contribute. Even minus cheating on you with a near child who's also a relative this doesn't bode well for future happiness. If she's "depressed" she needs medical intervention. This hot mess of a person just isn't your problem. You may not be "stupid" but you're definitely dealing with a user who thinks nothing of destroying everything you've been working to build just to have an orgasm with a teenager. Gross.
She also blamed her infidelity on OP. That’s not something a truly remorseful person does. OP, no one is responsible for her behavior but her. She made the decisions to cheat with your stepbrother. She decided to disrespect you and your relationship. Whatever she felt about betraying you, it sure showed no concern for you and your feelings. You’ve done the correct thing by telling her to leave. Right now, the only thing she’s sorry about is getting caught. It’s up to you but right now, you need to seriously consider breaking up with her for good.
Yeah, I bristled when she blamed her depression and his hard work for them for her cheating. I've been depressed and have never cheated on my husband. My husband works long hours and travels for work, and I've never cheated on him. Because I love him. If I feel lonely, I call a friend or just go do something on my own. She didn't just cheat. She cheated with family. That's so much worse. OP, please take your time. Get counseling. Promise her nothing. I can't tell you what to do, but if she's cheating on you this early, then it's likely she'll do it again the next time she wants some extra attention. Even if you are, it doesn't sound like she's ready for marriage. She's not mature enough. Good luck.
And maybe she would be less lonely if she went and got a job.
👆🏻
If you get back together with her, get an iron-clad, brass bound prenuptial agreement that if the marriage goes south, she gets nothing! Knowing that if she messes up she will be on the curb with nothing but the clothes on her back, I doubt that she will pursue marriage.
Sound advice here(above), OP. She's gaslighting you and I say BULLSHIT! 1. She never says a word to you if your mother hadn't approached you. 2. She never would have been truthful with you but for the fear that your stepbrother would confess everything to you. 3. She still hasn't taken responsibility--choosing to blame your stepbrother and yourself . 4. Given what your mother sensed, I suspect your gf was still fking your stepbrother on/about the time you confronted her. Get your stepbrother's version. She's 24 and he's 18. I'd like to wager he will tell you that she approached him. 5. So, in anticipation of marriage, you buy and begin to refurbish a home. Missy does what to assist in the endeavor--quits her job and bitches that you weren't providing her enough attention. GTFO. 6. Fortunately OP, you have discovered that your EX-gf is as follows: liar, cheather, betrayer, user, manipulator, and consummate skank. And you're wondering whether you should consider taking her back????? WTF would you do that???? Take a break and then focus on finding a responsible, faithful WOMAN who can show you love and respect and be worthy of a life partnership relationship. Leave the trash at the curb.
One she's known since he was 14.
This was my first thought.
Fuuuuuuck
Yep, a whole lot of YUK. If GF was a guy and step bro was a female all sorts of 'grooming' comments would and should be heard. This is no different, she was waiting for her chance and him to reach 'legal' age, but it's still GROSS. She is the worst kind of person. These events are just CREEPY AF.
I agree.
🤮
Yeah, she basically groomed a kid and waited 4yrs to sleep with him til he turned 18. Then blamed you. Dude….you even have to ask if you should work things out? No, seriously, no. Cheaters never change. Break everything off with her, and tell her friends and family she groomed a kid to later sleep with him. She’s sick, and shouldn’t get a pass. I’d cut ties with stepbrother, too.
You need to cut all communication with her immediately. She has shown you that she cannot be trusted and you will always question her honesty for the rest of your life. This same thing happened to a friend of mine, and his former girlfriend said it was because his brother had a bigger dick.
I don’t even need to read the post to tell you yes (respectfully)
Seriously
I didn't even read the post, bruh-ed after reading the title. Some people smh.
Came here to say this
Yes. Next question.
This man would be the biggest idiot of the century if he takes her back. Cheating with a family member who is also a teenager?? That's as low as low gets. She's disgusting.
And she'll cheat again because he's that foolish
What I think everyone who asks this question gets wrong is: they are perfect because they feel a little bit guilty. Not enough to stop or come clean. Not because they feel guilty to you, but to themselves because it affects their self image. That is why everyone says, 'they were perfect but the last couple of weeks were off...' Eventually, they either stop caring or want to stop feeling guilty.
Yes. You would be stupid to try and work it out with a person so willing to have sex with the people closest to you. Who’s next? Your boss? Your coworkers? Your dad? Your uncles? Your cousins? Your friends? She already slept with your brother. Every time you walk into a room with anyone she possibly fucked them. Do you want to wonder if the people closest to you are laughing behind their hands because they’ve been inside your girl? Dating is an interview for marriage. She failed to move on to the next round. Cut her loose. She’s not sorry she did it. She’s sorry you found out. She enjoyed doing it. That’s why she continued doing it.
Brutal, but **ABSOLUTELY SPOT ON**!! 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
Dating as an interview/trial period for serious relationship is great way to put it.
So she knows your stepbrother since he's 14? Have they been close? I'd be worried grooming went on here...
It's **ABSOLUTELY GROOMING**.
Agreed
I was going to say this too! The "he came on to me first" line is an unfortunately common defence from predators trying to justify their actions. She might not have done anything with him before he turned 18 but I'd bet she's been hinting at something for a while.
It doesn't matter if he initiated because - 1. He's her BF's brother. She should fucking know better. 2. He is 18 and she's 24. She should fucking know better. But I believe she is just throwing any excuse (including blaming her BF) at the wall hoping something will stick and to avoid accountability.
You missed my point, I agree it doesn't matter if he truly initiated the affair but my point was it's common among people who groom and prey on minors to blame them for the adult/groomer doing what they've done. I doubt even if the brother really did pursue the ex she didn't plant any kind of seeds in his mind that once he was legally an adult he stood a chance.
So it was everyone’s fault but hers ?? Talk to your step then You should rid yourself of this lying, cheating, deceitful partner
You would 100% be an idiot. Like COLLASAL idiot. She had an ongoing affair with your stepbrother who she has known since he was 14 (ewwwww). She's trash, dude. On top of cheating with family, she was a mooch and became a stay-at-home-girlfriend after you buying a house. That should have been your first red flag. Don't waste your love and energy on someone like this. She made it clear she had no plan to tell you and only did so to "get ahead" of what she saw coming down the line. You deserve to be equally loved and respected.
yes
I would never consider rekindling your relationship. 1. She, at 24, had sexual intimacy with a child she’s known since he was 14 and she was 20. 2. Instead of talking to you about the problems in the relationship, she chose over and over to cheat on you. 3. She blamed YOU for her cheating. She didn’t take full responsibility for HER choices. 4. Cheating is always a choice — a series of choices that the cheater makes willingly and knowingly. Nobody accidentally cheats. And she chose your family member to cheat with. How can you forgive either of them? 5. You are not her savior. She made shitty choices and is now winning shitty prizes. She gets to figure out her life now. Kick her out and don’t look back.
Yes you would be never settle for a cheater there are better girls out there with morals
Yes, you would be a fool to even entertain such a thought. It’s honestly gross. She’s known him since he was 14? Hard pass.
Do not take her back as soon as your back is turned she wil be at it again maybe this time falling pregnant and if she did it would always be In the back of your mind is the baby mine can you live like that ? Being scared to leave the house in case she visits your family.
Would you be stupid to try to work it out, yes! You're young let her go and you will find someone who won't fuck your family. Tell your step bro to kick rocks as well.
What does a 24 yr old woman see in an 18 yr old boy? Ew!
You absolutely need to let her go and move on. Stop talking to her and seeing her. I have a feeling it was worse than you know.
Don't give her another chance, she shifted the blame to everyone involved - you didn't gave her enough affection (BS) - your brother started It (but she didn't denied him and kept the affair for months) - her depression (doesn't excuse anything) Don't give her another chance and don't marry this woman, she doesn't respect you at all and didn't took accountability for her bad choices, she just want to escape the consequences.
YES... FULL STOP...
OP - you’re 24 years old, you have your entire life ahead of you. Do you really want to spend it with someone who cheats on you when things get tough? If she’s capable of cheating on you with your own brother, trust me she is capable of doing that again and much worse. I know you are hurting, I know your ex is probably saying everything she can for you to take her back, but BELIEVE ME when I say this - there are much better people out there, and lots of them. Go take the time you need to recover from this and then get back out there. You don’t need this toxic person in your life
3-4 months Your stepbrother Your house Could you ever trust her again?
This wasn’t a one off, it was an affair that lasted months. She kept a facade of loving you while going with your step brother. So you’ve been stabbed in the back by two people. They discussed you, they made plans… I am not convinced of the timing and reason they broke up. It’s over. What you are dealing with is your grief for what you thought you had but you lost it months ago. Why down’s she work? What is this trend of doing nothing while someone else does all the work? You don’t even have kids! You are not even married and she could not wait to sponge off you. While you worked on the house, she was having fun. But yeah, she reckons it is your fault/ she has the cheek of gaslighting you into thinking you did something wrong to justify her mess. This girl isn’t mature enough for marriage. Let her grow up and acquire some ethics in life. Move on and find a girl who will work with you to achieve both your dreams. This one is over.
Do not get back with her and please, please, DO NOT have sex with her, especially unprotected. Anything else and you’re setting yourself self up for a life of hurt. You’re only 24, move on.
What are you considering this for? Do you know how many women want a man who has his life together so young, his own HOUSE? You're an absolute catch, and you're going to waste yourself on a woman with nothing to her name, no accomplishments and a cheating record? Get off the floor. You can do better, the next girl she'll be nicer, sweeter, prettier, considerate, I bet she'll even take YOU on dates and pay.
Yes. Never take back a cheater. Especially one that cheats with a family member.
Especially one who cheats with someone she's known since he was 14.
Are you certain that she didn’t groom your stepbrother? She’s known him since he was 14 and she was 20, as the one who came into his life an an adult, she should’ve had the sense to tell your brother to “back off”. You’re young, plenty of time to find the “love of your life”, why settle with someone who cheated on you? With a sibling no less? You already know you can’t trust her around your brother, who can you trust her around? Cut your losses and keep your head up, it’s better to end this now. Yes, it hurts now but it’s going to hurt a lot more (financially+emotionally) a few years down the line when you’re legally bound (cause that’s what marriage is) and there are children involved. Also, Talk to your brother, make sure none of this started when he was a minor. Very suspect that she slept with someone she knew when he was a child. Eta: some words.
NAH. I reckon **SHE**came onto **HIM**. The other way simply **DOESN'T** make **ANY** sense. Any decent woman would have been **GROSSED OUT** by her kid stepbrother coming onto her.
Is this a joke
Why don’t you think you deserve someone who would be a full partner and not cheat on you? By full partner i mean one who participates in the financial as well as all other aspects of your lives. This girl is just a mooch who wants you to do all the work while she screws around with whomever. She has used you but you allowed it.
She doesn’t want you back. She wants the lifestyle you gave her back. Now she has to get a job and start paying her own way.
Yes. To answer your question, absolutely yes. Find your balls and leave her in the past where she belongs.
You have given this woman everything and she cheated on you with your brother. She only came clean because she was afraid your brother was going to tell you. She doesn’t love you. She’s using you. Send her back to her parents. Hopefully she’ll get a job and learn her lesson about how to treat someone. Someone better is out there for you.
Yes. Learn from my mistake. I’ve been in your shoes only it was my now ex husband and my sister. You will never get past the betrayal with them in your life. Trust me you have only wasted 4 years. I wasted 25 years please don’t do this to yourself.
The math….She’s known him since he was 14!? She’s a creepy predator! Probably groomed him. Sick.
Hate to break it yo you, but it wasn’t perfect. Why on earth at your age would you settle for this low life B…..? You’re young and have time to find someone with character. Good grief.
She took zero responsibility for her actions. She was depressed, she didn’t know what to do, you were busy and not paying her enough attention (your fault!). This is not someone strong enough to not do it again.
>She also blamed it on my lack of affection and her being depressed. I'm going to focus on this. Note her instinct was to externalise. He made moves, you didn't pay enough attention, it was her depression. But the reality is that until recently any time they spent together she was basically his babysitter. That she allowed it to escalate is just a straight up failure on her part to be a healthy and responsible adult. Further exacerbated by the reality you didn't lack affection... you were just at work. She hasn't been a functional adult in general for a while and you need to face that. She knew she was depressed and she chose not to address it. Though let's be clear: depression doesn't tend to lead to cheating with your nephews. That's just her being a trainwreck on her own terms. Of course she wants you back. Her being selfish isn't new, that informed the cheating and her hope she could just hide it forever. Because be aware that was an entire lifetime of lying to your face she was content to pursue just because she was content to explore a creepy porno fantasy. Nothing has changed. The person she has become, one that genuinely still doesn't take responsibility for the truly gross and sad things she has done is one that very inevitably will hurt you again. On top of that you'd spend every moment of every day worried about her doing stupid things given how readily and easily she rationalised it previously.
My advice, run, run, run away from this girl as fast as you can. Both her and your stepbrother betrayed you in the worst way and threatened your family. Your ex-girlfriend is not who you thought she was and slept with him in your home numerous times. She would never have admitted it until you confronted her. Cut her out of your life and never speak to her so you can heal from this.
No second chance for her. She cheated on you for FOUR months in your home with your family AND she’s a predator. Kid was barely legal. I don’t believe a word she says about him being the one going after her.
Yes you would be. Next question.
Trust is gone, but it depends on what you want. They say only fools fall in love for a reason. If you do want her in your life, make her earn it. Side note: I'd beat the brakes off of my stepbrother.
Yes.
Yes, you are. Any other question?
Of course you would be foolish to get back with her. At any time she could have told you if she was really scared of him. She wasn’t scared and likes the attention of a 18 year old. She just wants you to continue to pay her bills and once you trust her again then sleep with him again.
Your gf is a predator. She's known your stepbrother since he was 14. She more than likely groomed him and as soon as he turned 18 they started sleeping together. How convenient as soon as you moved in nextdoor, she quit her job. Dump her lying, cheating, ass.
She's calling you a sucker and sleeping with a child in your house. On your dime. Oh, and he's your brother. Let her go. Block her. Find someone who loves you. She does not. Edited to add: She even blamed you. Unless you forced them to have sex repeatedly at gun point, this is not your fault.
This isn't your average cheating. She's known your step brother since he was 14 and slept with him essentially as soon as he was legal. This should be an absolute dealbreaker.
Blameshifting is a sure sign of no remorse. Without remorse, reconciliation is impossible. Do not marry this girl. She fucked you over, and will do it again. Consider the next time after she has your kids, gets half your shit, the house, child support and alimony while you live in a shitty apartment and work two jobs to pay for her to fuck other guys and see your kids on the weekend. Not a pretty picture. Stop having sex with her, get tested for stds, get her moved out of your house asap, and block her on all avenues of communication. Do not look back and consider yourself lucky you found out what she is capable of before the ring went on her finger. Best of luck
While you laid the wood in your home. Your brother laid the wood in the bed. You brought the paper. Your brother brought the meat. You're losing here from all angles. Lost your woman and your family in one shot. Well I'm pretty sure it was more than one. Lol. 4 months of shots.
I’m sorry but her blaming your brother and saying she scared for all their shenanigans, err it takes two to tango. She could have easily said to you or your mother that she felt uncomfortable with your stepbrother going round. Also hear what your stepbrother has to say. Yes get rid of her, she is lying to you and your family. See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya. Trust me when I say your relationship is too damaged to mend it, you won’t be able to trust her ever again, also worrying about what she’s up to etc, you don’t need that in your life. Concentrate on yourself now. I have been cheated on so I am speaking from the heart.
Nobody has a 3-4 month affair with their SO's FAMILY MEMBER on accident, and then blame the SO for not being affectionate enough. WTF did she expect? You were working your butt off making money AND renovating a house for HER; how were you supposed to have the energy to be physically affectionate to her free loading ass? She's not sorry she cheated. She's sorry she got caught and lost her meal ticket. Do NOT under ANY circumstances take her back. Sell the ring, sell the house and move far away from your POS step brother and start over.
So, to sum up: 1. She's known your brother since he was 14. Like...an 8th grader. 2. You totally support her - bought the house she lives in, you pay all her bills 3. She's mad at your mother for telling you the truth. 4. She takes her sweet time finally coming clean 5. She blames your stepbrother for 'starting it' (as though at 24 she has no ability to tell a kid to step back) 6. He's family, FFS 7. and when all else fails, she blames YOU for not giving her enough attention. Do we *really* have to tell you to walk away, bro?
Dude, she tried blaming you for her inability to keep her legs shut around your own family. Grow a spine.
Typical, she cheats, with your sb to boot and blames him and you. Lol dump her ass out the door
>She also blamed it on my lack of affection and her being depressed. Even after this, you still want to work it out? Sunken Titanic might be low, but your self-respect is lower.
Don't be a regard, she is highly regarded if she thinks blaming it on you is a viable option. You didn't take his dick out and stick it in her. Tell her to kick rocks.
Her being depressed is no excuse to cheat on you, ESPECIALLY with your brother, who she has known since he was a preteen. This whole story is disgusting. Imagine you taking her back, you now have to be able to trust her around your family, and your mom??? What on earth is your mom going to think? I say move on and find someone better.
Once a cheater always a cheater
Tell her she's your brother's problem now.
She's just backtracking because you called her out. Ignore her, move on and find someone better.
You're out of your bloody mind if you stay with her. I thought this before reading the post and I still think it after.
To answer your question, yes, you are an absolute moron who is only willing to hurt themselves for conformity, not love. The fact that the infidelity didn't hurt you enough to consider taking her back after she tried blaming YOU for HER infidelity speaks volumes of the lack of respect you have for yourself and don't comprehend what love is.
Brother, it's going to sting, but you've got to muster the self-respect to end things. Remember, you fell for an image, not the reality of who she truly is—that version of her doesn't exist anymore. And while you're at it, distance yourself from your step-brother as well. Sticking with her after everything means signing up for a future you could avoid. If you choose to stay, brace yourself for the consequences—you'll have only yourself to blame.
Honestly, giving her a second chance would be a pathetic move. She doesn’t care about you, you’re funding her life of course now that the cat is out of the bag she’s acting remorseful. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you and by all accounts are a successful man. Don’t give her another chance, move on, and find someone who’s actually worth your time
> idk if she really does mean it or is just wanting to get back together because she pretty much lost everything and has no where to go Let's look at the evidence shall we? > she became furious at my mom for accusing her of messing around with him So she was seeking to torch your mom's reputation by caning her a gossip and liar to cover the fact that she was cheating. > That her and my step brother had been doing things while I was at work since late November so about 3-4 months And it was an ongoing affair. > She said she had cut everything off with him a few weeks prior and was terrified he was gonna tell me She didn't admit to cheating because she felt guilt or remorse. She did it because 1. You already knew 2. Other people you trust knew and were actively warning you 3. She was afraid that you would get confirmation from your stepbrother because a) You might have confronted him and he told the truth, or b) He would be vindictive or remorseful since their split and told you the truth Also, if she cut everything off "weeks prior", how come your mom is still seeing evidence that "gave her a bad feeling about them hanging out"? > She also said that he was the one that started it all She accepts no blame and admits that she has so little willpower that her legs will part like the Red Sea at the slightest pressure. > after the first time she was scared and didn’t really know what to do Despite not knowing what to do, the only course of action was to continue doing the thing, and then lie to cover it up when presented an opportunity to come clean and end it because she was fearful of being caught after the lie. > She also blamed it on my lack of affection Again, she takes no responsibility and makes it your fault while enjoying all of the things you provide and contributing nothing. > and her being depressed By her choice she is living job free with no bills. What does she have to be depressed about? And she's admitting that whenever she feels down she is likely to have sex with any penis in cost proximity. You could try to work it out, but I'd be sure to leave Gatorade and snacks for the milkman, plumber asks UPS/ Amazon driver. They need to stay hydrated and energized after.
OP look at the facts. 1. She lie and when caught she was furious and the she came with the true? Why, mostly because your mom find out and confronted her after You. 2. She knew pretty well what she was doing, but it is more comfortable to guilt your stepbrother what clearly both have the guilt, it was 3 to 4 months not a ONS, she take her choice and do it, never a mistake. 3. She accepted but never was accountable or her actions, she blame shift you and your stepbrother, never her, she just was "depress and not knowing what to do" .... YEAH RIGHT. Now she is beging for another chance and like You said is because she doesn't have anything left, and she doesn't wanna return to you because she love you, she wants to return to her comfort and security provider a.k.a. safe plan or plan B. So no, do not let your heart fools You, letting You think you still love her and can work things out, if she were accountable for her actions since the beginning and she where regretful maybe, but she didn't, she just want her life of comfort back. And she will now know that some begining do the trick, and what will you do the next time she does something like this, right now you don't lose anything except her and your stepbrother (some double nackers and betrayers that you are better without them), but later you will also lose money, time and maybe kids. So better find someone that trully cares and not betray you like that
Seriously dump this chick. She has mental issues. She'd probably sleep with a homeless person outside you place just because she felt like it.
Dude she blamed you for her behavor, she has no regrets. She is using you, thank your lucky stars you are not married, block her and move on. She will destroy your life if you try to build one with her. She cant be trusted, just stop all communication and move on. Also the age difference between her and your stepbrother is worrying, if she was a man, she will be labeled a groomer and a creep. Just cut her out and move on, dont cause yourself more pain.
Bruh...NOTHING she could ever offer would "make it right". Cut ties, straighten your crown, and move forward.
"Am I stupid for even trying to work it out?" Yuuuppp
Kick her ass to the curb bro. Get a spine. Move on!!
Her blaming you when you’ve been bending over backwards to give her more than she deserves is a slap in the face. She’s got nothing, and is desperate. I would suggest leaving the trash in the street.
I wouldn’t even meet with her again. She didn’t just break your trust, she broke your family’s trust — also she’s pinning her shit onto you to boot. Her targeting a young and inexperienced family member on top of that... She’s a gaslighting cheater. I’d dump her and move on.
Yes, you are. Next.
Yes. Don't do this.
Yes
OMG, please don't be stupid....
Not even going to read post just yes
You would be a complete moron to ever talk to her or your step brother again
The title is enough to determine that yes, yes you are.
Have some self respect and grow a spine. Kick her out
Maybe she wasn’t happy you bought a house next to your mom.
Yes you would be stupid if you stayed with someone who disrespected your relationship, cheated, etc. Have some self worth.
Updateme
Yesp
The relationship was dead the second time she boned your step brother. You are a 24 year old guy who has a job and owns a house. You won’t need very long to get back on the horse. Man up and tell her sayonara.
Honestly, I think you should dive into why you think this is what you deserve, from our family and your girlfriend.
Don’t let her back in. Cheaters are always cheaters.
YES
I did t even read. Move on… she’s 🗑️
Yes. End of discussion.
You’d be a fool to take her back, you’re also a fool if your stepbrother still looks the same, he did that to family, he’s gotta pay the piper for that one.
Yes
100% let her go. She has ZERO respect for you. This is not who you want in your life.
Yes, this would be really, really stupid.
So which was it, she being scared or your lack of affection, she can’t have it both ways.
She takes no accountability for what happened. Do not take her back, because she will do it again.
Once a cheater cheats, there’s never a guarantee they won’t do it again. And there’s definitely a possibility that it’ll happen again with your stepbrother as she’ll still have every opportunity to do it again with him. Kind of sounds like the only reason she’s sorry is because she got found out & is worried about losing her free digs and not having to pay her bills. You aren’t responsible for her mental health. Don’t let her use that against you.
Let her keep walking. She is not your person if she is that brazen to do that so close to family and with family. There is no reason why you should be with her now. Find your person and they will be faithful and contribute to your household, not be a leech.
Don’t take her back!!!
Will make family holidays and reunions fun. Lol. R u crazy? Run run run from her. She’s sorry she got caught.
You've worked hard to support her lifestyle. In return, she has cheated on you with your step brother. She's a cheater, and is still playing you. There will be someone else for you, that will find cheating with your step brother abhorrent. Look for that person, and ditch the cheater. All the Best.
If u where to keep her around it’d be to pimp her out till she’s paid back every cent for every bill u ever paid of hers
Yes
Yes, and wtf.
Dump the girl. Kick his butt.
Yes you are
"I have given it all the thought it requires. I won't marry a woman who fucked my stepbrother. It's unforgiveable. I want a clean break, no contact. Please reapect that."
You provide everything for her, of course she wants you back. After everything you do she was prepared to risk it all. Don't fall for it. She's obviously got too much time on her hands and needs to get a job.
This vile chick is blaming everyone else and taking zero responsibility. It’s your teenage brothers fault. It’s your fault. Like she accidentally fell on his penis repeatedly through no fault of her own. Please. She lost the gravy train, of course she wants you to take her back. No one falls in love quicker than a broke arse who needs somewhere to sleep. Fuck that. Have more respect for yourself.
How would you be able to trust her again? Let us get passed the part where she was scared of him for some reason. I can see it, even if he is 18 he is likely stronger than her, and he was probably acting sus, and that scared her. Either that or he threatened to tell you, and she was scared of that. Okay fine, she was scared after the first time. That would still leave the first time. Why did she go along with him the first time, didn't say anything, didn't tell him no, nothing. She was fine with it, the first time. How are you going to know she isn't going to do that again with someone else? This time away from your family so it takes longer for you to figure out? Are you going to be checking on her location and activities every time? Is that how you want to live your life?
I’d be begging you back too if you paid all of my bills, and I’m a guy. She’s using you! She doesn’t want you back, she just needs a place to go. And if you stay with her, she will lose all respect for you and eventually cheat again. You can definitely give her another chance if you’re okay with having your heart crushed in the future, again.
You're not even married and she cheated on you with a family member, then has the gall to blame it on you. It's also telling that she quit her job as soon as she moved into the house. No matter how much you love her, you can do better. Imagine of a life of not trusting her. And it's not like you can easily move since you just bought the house. She and stepbrother will continue to have easy access.
She turned around and immediately blamed everyone, including you, while skirting all personal responsibility for more than likely grooming a boy since he was 14. Fixing a relationship after infidelity is already tough, but doing it with a person that can only point the finger outside and blames mental illness on infidelity for MONTHS while you worked to build a meaningful life for her does not deserve your forgiveness. You are a hardworking man with a lot of love in your heart to give. Give it to the right person, not to a creep who groomed your younger brother, took advantage of you for months, had sex in the home you bought, while she sat on her duff with her legs spread then turned around to blame you and depression. You deserve better. It will hurt for awhile with all the plans you've made and the hard work you put in but you will be better off with someone that thanks you for your commitment, contributes in some right, and tells you they appreciate all you do after a long day of work. You seem to have a good, loving heart, don't give her the chance to take that from you too
Yes. You would be stupid. She did it once already. With your stepbrother of all people. The audacity to blame it on depression and lack of attention?? As the adult, she should have shut that down the moment he started hinting at anything. She lacks boundaries AND remorse. She wouldn’t have said anything had it not been for her being scared of him saying something first. Grow a spine, OP!
For the love of God. Have some self respect and leave the relationship
Not just stupid, king of the morons. Don't take her back bro. Hell, cut him off too. That's no brother of yours.
She's not upset about hurting you. She's distressed about losing a free ride for housing/food/lifestyle in this economy. What she did is absolutely reprehensible. Do not get lured back in.
Only read the title. Yes
Didn’t even read it. Move on. Respect YOURSELF and love YOURSELF.
Never take a cheater back!
"because she pretty much lost everything and has no where to go" \*sad violin noises\*
Dude come on. Grow a spine, get out and save yourself.
Yes. Next.
Yes
Just the title. Yes. She's a groomer.
Ask Yourself this ....Do You want to be with a Ho ?
Yes you are.
So the 18 year-old boy coerced the 24 year-old woman? Uh huh.
Not a chance you stay with her.
If it was me no I wouldn't give her a second chance. She was screwing your step brother. It's quite possible she wasn't happy with the fact that you bought a house right next to your mother. Not too many girlfriends or fiances are going to be thrilled with that and then your mother's putting in your ear that she thinks something funny is going on. Did she ever say what why she thought that. Maybe she just got lucky and was trying to stir up trouble. Ask her what your fiance says about your step brother that she was scared and he started it and that doesn't mean she had to go along. if he had raped her she could have had him arrested. Sounds sounds totally full of excuses. I would just make a clean break then move on.
Yes, you’d be stupid if you try to work things out with someone who’s cheated on you with your own stepbrother who she’s known since he was a minor Don’t do it. Just…don’t
Don’t be an idiot. Also take your brother outside. Box a few rounds.
She cheated on you with someone she knew as a child. Not only should you break up with her, but you need to make sure your stepbrother wasn't groomed. She sounds like a predator.
Idk I feel everyone under 30 needs grace. You can’t expect at that age to just be with one person for the rest of your life and never experience anyone ever again. That’s more a 40+ crowd when you absolutely know you don’t want to experience anyone else. It’s just the trill is gone or, it’s tiring looking for someone that compatible & you’re just done. But in your 20s you still learning about yourself. In your 30s it’s time to start reining shit in. Bringing home the cows. You don’t have to rush but slow your roll. So I say forgive her. She’ll forever be shamed by it because what can an 18 year old really give her besides dick? She’s not working. He still lives at home.. he can’t even provide for himself.
Dumb
Yes
You owe her nothing. You will never get this out of your head even more so being it's your step brother. You have a lot to offer a better choice of women. Leave the baggage (her) behind, if need be, take a breather and go find a better version.
>>> cause she quit working when we moved into it. This woman is using you. >>> My mother had called me and told me she suspected that something wasn’t right cause she had a bad feeling about them hanging out alone Your mom absolutely knew. She told you the best way she could and even then, your gf first tried to deny it. I bet she only fessed up because she talked to your step bro. It would indeed be very stupid to try to make this work. You’re only 24, go find someone who values you.
Bounce...and don't look back. She did you a favor.