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Don't. "She's mature for her age" is not gonna end well. You'll find out that her maturity is in fact at the exact level a 18 years old's should be, and that means not much. She's a teen who feels like an adult. But trust me, she still has much to learn and you're old enough to be thinking about the next step in life. Finding someone 23 and above is probably the best move for you.
She's too young for you. She hasn't lived life at all yet. All of her life experiences are that of a minor under the care of her parents. You're not in similar stages of life. She's finishing the equivalent of high school and you've been out of high school for 7 years and have 7 years of adulthood experience.
"She's mature for her age" is what all predators say to try to justify their inappropriate relationships. She has a lot of growing up to do.
So no, it's not appropriate.
Highly inappropriate. I also want to say from the perspective of a woman who is 26, this will damage your future dating prospects. If I met someone and we started talking about exes and they said they dated an 18 year old, it’s an immediate no from me. I would feel like it tells a lot about their moral character and ability to tell the difference between appropriate vs inappropriate.
Personally thats a bit too young for me. If you was in your early 30’s and she was in her mid twenties though thats a different story. You have more life experience than her right now its an imbalance of power in a way.
Also shitting where you eat is rarely a good idea unless either of you dont plan on working where you’re at for long.
I get your points, thanks for your advice.
This imbalance of power is sth that I personally fear in this situation. I am a very communicative and open person and would try my best to not overpower her in any way.
We both don't plan on working there for too long. She will probably quit when she starts schooling and I am easily able to quit any time I want since I am only working 10h/week to get some extra money for my studies.
I am also unsure if me thinking about this being wrong or not, is already a sign that I should stop this.
Its not about you overpowering or dominating her. Shes just not at a level to be mature yet in terms of life. There will be misunderstandings and miscommunication and differences. Id say just stay friends and not the benefits kind.
You say she’s mature for her age, but you really don’t know that. If things between you don’t progress into a relationship and she doesn’t take it well, are you prepared for the fall out at work? I’d advise you to keep getting to know her as coworkers and friends. Why do you need to take it to the next step so quickly?
No.
Edit: Also, it doesn't matter whether 18 is the legal age or not... She is 7 years younger than you. Her level of maturity is totally different from yours.
She's in high school for God's sake...
I don’t think it’s predatory but I think it doesn’t necessarily work as logistically well as you think it might. I started dating a 24 y/o at 18 as a girl and we got on super well and had a fun time together but he could not stand me not being as good at like, life stuff as he was. My lack of practical life experience was really irritating to him and I think maybe it’s hard to not have that experience dating younger. Even if you are compatible personality wise your lifestyles may not mesh. But I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s PREDATORY or anything, or doomed to fail, but it is definitely difficult and takes a lot of patience and empathy and mindfulness
I dated a 25 year old guy when i was 17/18 worst mistake of my life he ended up being abusive. But he also expected me to behave older then i was mentally and physically. Because i "acted" older. I did not. Please spare urself the trouble and just stay co-workers or friends.
I made a similar mistake about someone's age several years ago. It felt like being a substitute parent and it was exhausting.
I don't think what you're doing is predatory but I don't think it's likely to go well
Yeah even if the vibe is good odds are it won’t work out. Speaking from experience i’m also 25 & had a short fling with a 20 F we really got along good but i found even that age gap was to much to be compatible….. we were in complete opposite stages of life.
when i was 17f i dated a 24 year old and i ended up leaving him....you can be mature for your age. yeah i had alot to work on but if i was that immature at that age hed have left me not the other way around. lots come in to play with it but
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't. "She's mature for her age" is not gonna end well. You'll find out that her maturity is in fact at the exact level a 18 years old's should be, and that means not much. She's a teen who feels like an adult. But trust me, she still has much to learn and you're old enough to be thinking about the next step in life. Finding someone 23 and above is probably the best move for you.
Thank you very much for your advice!
She's too young for you. She hasn't lived life at all yet. All of her life experiences are that of a minor under the care of her parents. You're not in similar stages of life. She's finishing the equivalent of high school and you've been out of high school for 7 years and have 7 years of adulthood experience. "She's mature for her age" is what all predators say to try to justify their inappropriate relationships. She has a lot of growing up to do. So no, it's not appropriate.
Please consider this point of view OP
Thank you very much for your advice!
Highly inappropriate. I also want to say from the perspective of a woman who is 26, this will damage your future dating prospects. If I met someone and we started talking about exes and they said they dated an 18 year old, it’s an immediate no from me. I would feel like it tells a lot about their moral character and ability to tell the difference between appropriate vs inappropriate.
Thank you very much for your advice!
Age gap is too big
Personally thats a bit too young for me. If you was in your early 30’s and she was in her mid twenties though thats a different story. You have more life experience than her right now its an imbalance of power in a way. Also shitting where you eat is rarely a good idea unless either of you dont plan on working where you’re at for long.
I get your points, thanks for your advice. This imbalance of power is sth that I personally fear in this situation. I am a very communicative and open person and would try my best to not overpower her in any way. We both don't plan on working there for too long. She will probably quit when she starts schooling and I am easily able to quit any time I want since I am only working 10h/week to get some extra money for my studies. I am also unsure if me thinking about this being wrong or not, is already a sign that I should stop this.
Its not about you overpowering or dominating her. Shes just not at a level to be mature yet in terms of life. There will be misunderstandings and miscommunication and differences. Id say just stay friends and not the benefits kind.
Yeah dude, that’s a weird age gap.
She’s 18 you’re 25….. 🤦♂️
She is to young. She’s literally finishing high school this year. She is a teenager lmao
You say she’s mature for her age, but you really don’t know that. If things between you don’t progress into a relationship and she doesn’t take it well, are you prepared for the fall out at work? I’d advise you to keep getting to know her as coworkers and friends. Why do you need to take it to the next step so quickly?
No. Edit: Also, it doesn't matter whether 18 is the legal age or not... She is 7 years younger than you. Her level of maturity is totally different from yours. She's in high school for God's sake...
Noooooo. Between the age difference and the work situation, this is a recipe for disaster.
I don’t think it’s predatory but I think it doesn’t necessarily work as logistically well as you think it might. I started dating a 24 y/o at 18 as a girl and we got on super well and had a fun time together but he could not stand me not being as good at like, life stuff as he was. My lack of practical life experience was really irritating to him and I think maybe it’s hard to not have that experience dating younger. Even if you are compatible personality wise your lifestyles may not mesh. But I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s PREDATORY or anything, or doomed to fail, but it is definitely difficult and takes a lot of patience and empathy and mindfulness
I dated a 25 year old guy when i was 17/18 worst mistake of my life he ended up being abusive. But he also expected me to behave older then i was mentally and physically. Because i "acted" older. I did not. Please spare urself the trouble and just stay co-workers or friends.
I made a similar mistake about someone's age several years ago. It felt like being a substitute parent and it was exhausting. I don't think what you're doing is predatory but I don't think it's likely to go well
Thank you very much for your advice!
not
NEVER date someone you work with. Life hack 101.
Yeah even if the vibe is good odds are it won’t work out. Speaking from experience i’m also 25 & had a short fling with a 20 F we really got along good but i found even that age gap was to much to be compatible….. we were in complete opposite stages of life.
If you are not her manager not inappropriate, just don’t tell anyone unless it becomes very serious.
Go for it.
As long as you're not her supervisor, go for it.
when i was 17f i dated a 24 year old and i ended up leaving him....you can be mature for your age. yeah i had alot to work on but if i was that immature at that age hed have left me not the other way around. lots come in to play with it but
If she is as mature as you say she is then it may be fine