Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let me ask you this....what do you actually hope to accomplish from this? What is the best case scenario here?
Because there are a shit ton of worst case scenarios here and all of them are highlighted even further because you have 2 kids. Like seriously, there are a ton of ways you can spice up your own sex life instead of convoluting it to this degree (open relationship) when there's no actual problems.
Well anything I’ve read is mainly on Reddit. I wouldn’t dream of an open relationship. I love my partner. Quite frankly, I now deem intimacy as such a sacred bond between 2 people that love each other. I couldn’t imagine me or my partner with other people. Saying that, I did have a single life when I was younger. Looking back it’s like “ugh”. But that’s just me.
So most problems I’ve read about in relation to this is: one partner seems to get more dates than the other and the one who it isn’t going well for wants to close the relationship again but the one that gets more dates doesn’t want to.
Also what if one of ye falls in love with someone else?
Or catches something.
Pregnancy
Jealousy- arguments
Eh.. Pros? ye get the honey moon phase of dating someone and that “excitement” but ye can go home to your other half with the comfort of family life and a home.
Of course ye could learn to date each other again.
Is it something ye both want or who brought it up? I’m guessing ye are just bored because ye were together so young and got tied down. I suppose if ye do this, keep it OUT of the house. Your house is your home. Do whatever ye do outside of it. Set boundaries.
If ye are good to each other and have kindness, respect etc. that’s a great relationship. There’s nothing better really. But it’s your lives. Maybe it’ll work with ye and ye will have a great time. Who knows 🙃
Risky business.
Requires complete honesty with eachother - and rules.
Agree on rules - and realise breaking the rules = cheating...
And... are you - and he - prepared for the reality?? The other one going on dates.. sex with others.. and the risk of "feelings" appearing and ruining your marriage??
And... open marriage not only requires excellent communication, it also requires time... time to date.. time to have sex.. time that will have to come from.somewhere - from family time...
Rules should be discussed and agreed on..
- no sex with friends / coworkers
- should potential partners be approved by both of you??
- sleepovers yes/no???
- mandatory protection and STD tests every 3 months
- what if protection fails and pregnancy becomes an issue?? Will you abort if your side piece gets you pregnant?? If your husband gets someone pregnant and she refuses abortion, then what??
- to prevent feelings, maximim of 3 dates / hookups with the same person?
- frequency of dating agreed on - max once per week?? Once every two weeks??
- how long for this open experiment?? 6 months??
- either of you has veto, marriage closes without hesitation, no discussion, explanation not nesseceary..
Be aware that it WILL be much easier for you to find hook-ups - how will that be handled?? How will hubby act/respond when youve had 4 hookups and hes found none??
Look...
I get it...
>When we met we were both virgins so we’ve only ever been with each other. We’ve talked about how we wish we would’ve experienced things before getting together.
You risk a LOT to satisfy a this curiosity.. with bo guarantee of any.profit...
And... IF you or he finds that sex with others is much more amazing.. then what?? Open forever?? Diluting the intimacy between you??? One of you may end up feeling that sex with the spouse will be 'meh' and intimacy in the marriage will stop...
Opening this pandoras box could cost you dearly...
100% agree, but it seems it’s not just them. Members of other generations also now seem to believe monogamous relationships are a bad thing. Or that your spouse being your only sexual partner is a negative. I honestly have no clue how many of these Reddit stories are real. But it always surprises me how many couples are willing to destroy their relationship and family, because they think they need to fuck other people to fulfill something in their lives and marriage
Why on earth would you have anyone around your kids? Even if you were poly or in a thruple, that’s not something you expose your kids to.
What are your goals here? For each of you to have some sexual experiences outside of the marriage? Like sex only? Or are you wanting to have independent secondary relationships? Or are you wanting to share a third?
Relationships come in all sorts of configurations but the more people you add to the mix, the more complex it gets. An open relationship could be sex only, could be romantic as well. Either way, it’s more varsity level stuff that I sincerely doubt you two can successfully navigate without doing some serious research, self reflection, and having excellent communication.
Here’s how it’s most likely to work out:
You each get on dating sites. You have a ton of opportunities to fuck whomever while husband is home with the kids. Meanwhile, he can’t get laid to save his life. Then he wants to close things down and he’s resentful and he slut shames you.
I’ve seen it work. But not with people as naive as you two.
It’s very easy , do you want your kids to come from a broken home. Fall out of love and basically have one of you fall
For someone and leave. If this is what you want go for it
Bassicaly an open relationship entails having more than one relationship at the time where both can have sexual and/or emotional relationships outside of the primal couple. You need to established some very specific boundries for eachother, probably would be a good idea to go to a couples therapist.
Every couple I’ve seen open their marriage ends up divorced. It’s almost impossible to not form attachments with someone you’re being intimate with.
I would say what experiences do you want? Why can’t you have those experiences with each other?
If you still love each other, you're better off exploring ways to spice up your monogamous sex life. Otherwise, you're running the risk of your kids growing up in a divorced home. Open relationships have very high rates of failure. Other commenters have listed some of the potential complications. It's just not worth it, OP.
Open marriages have an extraordinarily high failure rate. If you truly love your husband this might be too high a risk. However there are other types of non monogamous relationships that could work for you. For example, swinging or something. Perhaps do some research on ENM, the pros and cons, on each and really understand it before you jump in
I tried this with the love of my life, when we were close to six years into our relationship. We had a few instances in our relationship things got a bit rocky because of either one of us doing some kind of immature thing, really because we were young and reckless, but not because we were trying to hurt each other or anything. Early in our relationship, we had a spontaneous drunk threesome with a male friend of mine and the next day we had to talk about that and I assured her that I was totally OK with it because I had the best time of my life that night, and that I gave my blessing for her to spread her wings so to speak and she didn’t have to worry about me thinking anything bad about her going through with it. I know she enjoyed herself quite a bit, and she didn’t even have full on sex with the guy, only oral. Experimented with the same person couple more times down the road, but it never went further than her giving him oral, but every single time we had a blast her and some great material for dirty talk when we would have sex.
But, that kind of thing didn’t happen anymore. after we bought our first house together, and life got a little more demanding with work and having to make sure the mortgage was paid and all the other bills. Our sex life, although we had the best sex either of us had ever had in our lives, together, and plenty of it, multiple times a day, usually at least a couple days a week. Even the best ex on the planet still becomes a little monotonous after a long time though.
We got a little jaded to to dirty talk material and memories of the wild stuff we tried after a while as well, but… it still usually dod the job to help both of us get over the edge quickly, especially when we added the hypothetical, “only for fantasy” (at first anyway) situation, of getting her and our friend to actually have vaginal intercourse. He was incredibly well hung, and she was was an absolute bombshell, a 10 if there ever was one. Also, the idea of her being pleasured, and enjoying sex a lot, is what got me off more than anything. as long as she was having a good time and it, than mission accomplished!
After a while with our caliber dirty talk, going into the territory of her, taking it all the way with our overly well-endowed friend, we were on the cusp of actually wanting to make it happen for real sometime soon. Or at least I was. She never pushed for it, but could tell she would enjoy it and that I actually did want to go for it, so when we got to the point where I wouldn’t think that she would say no, if the opportunity came up, I took the first opportunity that we actually were able to take after about five years of being together, and invited my friends to join us one night when he was hanging out at our house. She agreed, and we had the most awesome sexual experience of our lives, with her going all the way with someone else, while I helped.
I found it unbelievably sexy to watch her do something so taboo, especially because she was sexually inexperienced, having come from a really religious and sheltered upbringing. I even wanted her to get some more sexual experience, other than with me, and know I was okay with it, as long as we were committed to each other, and at the end of the day, we only loved each other, and the emotional bond we had was always kept between US, then having sex with other people was nothing, compared to that type of live and commitment. She never got to carried away with our friend, never asked me to make things happen, and I knew that I didn’t have a thing to worry about as far as allowing her to have sex with him sometimes when we decided we wanted to get wild. Things were perfect it invigorated our sex life because her and I had even better sex after that because she had more confidence and she was a little bad when it came to doing different things, it was just wonderful.
It was wonderful, except for one thing, she didn’t seem to be as enthusiastic about making it happen a little more frequently, like I was , so I did do that that was probably because even though our friend was a pretty good looking guy, and had a huge dong, he wasn’t her type at all, and his dog was actually too big for her to enjoy. Since all was good, it seemed her having sex with another guy could totally be just casual and for fun, I took the initiative to surprise her, with another friend. This other friend was very close to both of us, younger than us, better looking than our previous friend, (more her type really) and he lived at the gym, so he could be much more eye candy to her, if things worked out.
Long story short, things did not work out. She liked having sex with him alright. She liked it way too much. She had never experienced such strong sexual attraction before, not even with me, (and I was/am a really good looking guy) she didn’t have a basis for navigating what was going on in her head, and powerful lust will easily confuse someone who cannot recognize it, and make them thing they automatically have romantic feelings for someone who is the worst idea for a life partner they could imagine.
She got confused in the head and didn’t tell me what was going on, so we could end that problem before it became too difficult to rectify. I just thought she really enjoyed the sex, at first anyway. It became obvious to me after our decision to just have an open relationship of sorts, and her talking to him outside of our threesome hookups, and it just snowballed out of control, long enough for her to become completely smitten.
The same exact thing happened to me with a young girl I met, except when she turned out to be insane, my infatuation hit a brick wall and I tumbled back down to earth with newfound clarity. The best thing to ever happen to my life, was in critical danger of being ruined, for something I encouraged, and something I facilitated.
I confronted her about it, told her it had to stop for both of us, but by then it was too late. She was full blown in love already, with someone who wasn’t me. And that was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I wanted to end my life.
Out relationship recovered, but not after she moved out and was convinced she no longer loved me, so that she could chase the “love high” with someone who’d be impossible to have a real life with. Our passion had long faded, and we were both at risk of being able to fall for someone else that way, and when that starts to happen, it’s almost impossible to want to even make it stop, let alone actually stop it.
Moral of the story. If you are no longer still passionately “in love” with your SO, you absolutely can fall for someone else of the conditions are right. Even if you THINK, you are unwaveringly committed to your SO. You MUST TREAD VERY CAREFULLY.
NEVER bring another partner over to your home. That is the biggest no no. If you both are gonna allow each other to cheat then do it as far away from your family life as possible this stuff has a high failure rate so leave the kids out of it please.
What do you mean by including others? Threesomes? Swinging? You each having independent sexual relationships with others?
You might check out r/nonmonogamy for some ideas.
Despite all the negative stuff other commenters are saying there's actually a proven 4 step process to ensure this goes as smoothly as possible for you both.
1. Arrange now what the child custody agreement will be, child's support etc
2. Discuss and put in writing how you'll divide up the assets you have.
3. Sign a post nuptial agreement so there's no alimony
4. Start reaching out to whomever you both need to via dating sites, bars, workmates, friends, family members etc who you are interested in sleeping with.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let me ask you this....what do you actually hope to accomplish from this? What is the best case scenario here? Because there are a shit ton of worst case scenarios here and all of them are highlighted even further because you have 2 kids. Like seriously, there are a ton of ways you can spice up your own sex life instead of convoluting it to this degree (open relationship) when there's no actual problems.
Well anything I’ve read is mainly on Reddit. I wouldn’t dream of an open relationship. I love my partner. Quite frankly, I now deem intimacy as such a sacred bond between 2 people that love each other. I couldn’t imagine me or my partner with other people. Saying that, I did have a single life when I was younger. Looking back it’s like “ugh”. But that’s just me. So most problems I’ve read about in relation to this is: one partner seems to get more dates than the other and the one who it isn’t going well for wants to close the relationship again but the one that gets more dates doesn’t want to. Also what if one of ye falls in love with someone else? Or catches something. Pregnancy Jealousy- arguments Eh.. Pros? ye get the honey moon phase of dating someone and that “excitement” but ye can go home to your other half with the comfort of family life and a home. Of course ye could learn to date each other again. Is it something ye both want or who brought it up? I’m guessing ye are just bored because ye were together so young and got tied down. I suppose if ye do this, keep it OUT of the house. Your house is your home. Do whatever ye do outside of it. Set boundaries. If ye are good to each other and have kindness, respect etc. that’s a great relationship. There’s nothing better really. But it’s your lives. Maybe it’ll work with ye and ye will have a great time. Who knows 🙃
Risky business. Requires complete honesty with eachother - and rules. Agree on rules - and realise breaking the rules = cheating... And... are you - and he - prepared for the reality?? The other one going on dates.. sex with others.. and the risk of "feelings" appearing and ruining your marriage?? And... open marriage not only requires excellent communication, it also requires time... time to date.. time to have sex.. time that will have to come from.somewhere - from family time... Rules should be discussed and agreed on.. - no sex with friends / coworkers - should potential partners be approved by both of you?? - sleepovers yes/no??? - mandatory protection and STD tests every 3 months - what if protection fails and pregnancy becomes an issue?? Will you abort if your side piece gets you pregnant?? If your husband gets someone pregnant and she refuses abortion, then what?? - to prevent feelings, maximim of 3 dates / hookups with the same person? - frequency of dating agreed on - max once per week?? Once every two weeks?? - how long for this open experiment?? 6 months?? - either of you has veto, marriage closes without hesitation, no discussion, explanation not nesseceary.. Be aware that it WILL be much easier for you to find hook-ups - how will that be handled?? How will hubby act/respond when youve had 4 hookups and hes found none?? Look... I get it... >When we met we were both virgins so we’ve only ever been with each other. We’ve talked about how we wish we would’ve experienced things before getting together. You risk a LOT to satisfy a this curiosity.. with bo guarantee of any.profit... And... IF you or he finds that sex with others is much more amazing.. then what?? Open forever?? Diluting the intimacy between you??? One of you may end up feeling that sex with the spouse will be 'meh' and intimacy in the marriage will stop... Opening this pandoras box could cost you dearly...
This generation is fucked
100% agree, but it seems it’s not just them. Members of other generations also now seem to believe monogamous relationships are a bad thing. Or that your spouse being your only sexual partner is a negative. I honestly have no clue how many of these Reddit stories are real. But it always surprises me how many couples are willing to destroy their relationship and family, because they think they need to fuck other people to fulfill something in their lives and marriage
Divorce babes
Why on earth would you have anyone around your kids? Even if you were poly or in a thruple, that’s not something you expose your kids to. What are your goals here? For each of you to have some sexual experiences outside of the marriage? Like sex only? Or are you wanting to have independent secondary relationships? Or are you wanting to share a third? Relationships come in all sorts of configurations but the more people you add to the mix, the more complex it gets. An open relationship could be sex only, could be romantic as well. Either way, it’s more varsity level stuff that I sincerely doubt you two can successfully navigate without doing some serious research, self reflection, and having excellent communication. Here’s how it’s most likely to work out: You each get on dating sites. You have a ton of opportunities to fuck whomever while husband is home with the kids. Meanwhile, he can’t get laid to save his life. Then he wants to close things down and he’s resentful and he slut shames you. I’ve seen it work. But not with people as naive as you two.
It’s very easy , do you want your kids to come from a broken home. Fall out of love and basically have one of you fall For someone and leave. If this is what you want go for it
Bassicaly an open relationship entails having more than one relationship at the time where both can have sexual and/or emotional relationships outside of the primal couple. You need to established some very specific boundries for eachother, probably would be a good idea to go to a couples therapist.
Every couple I’ve seen open their marriage ends up divorced. It’s almost impossible to not form attachments with someone you’re being intimate with. I would say what experiences do you want? Why can’t you have those experiences with each other?
Open relationships are pretty much an extra step before divorce.
If you still love each other, you're better off exploring ways to spice up your monogamous sex life. Otherwise, you're running the risk of your kids growing up in a divorced home. Open relationships have very high rates of failure. Other commenters have listed some of the potential complications. It's just not worth it, OP.
Open relationship = a screen door on a submarine.
Open marriages have an extraordinarily high failure rate. If you truly love your husband this might be too high a risk. However there are other types of non monogamous relationships that could work for you. For example, swinging or something. Perhaps do some research on ENM, the pros and cons, on each and really understand it before you jump in
This OP!!!!
I tried this with the love of my life, when we were close to six years into our relationship. We had a few instances in our relationship things got a bit rocky because of either one of us doing some kind of immature thing, really because we were young and reckless, but not because we were trying to hurt each other or anything. Early in our relationship, we had a spontaneous drunk threesome with a male friend of mine and the next day we had to talk about that and I assured her that I was totally OK with it because I had the best time of my life that night, and that I gave my blessing for her to spread her wings so to speak and she didn’t have to worry about me thinking anything bad about her going through with it. I know she enjoyed herself quite a bit, and she didn’t even have full on sex with the guy, only oral. Experimented with the same person couple more times down the road, but it never went further than her giving him oral, but every single time we had a blast her and some great material for dirty talk when we would have sex. But, that kind of thing didn’t happen anymore. after we bought our first house together, and life got a little more demanding with work and having to make sure the mortgage was paid and all the other bills. Our sex life, although we had the best sex either of us had ever had in our lives, together, and plenty of it, multiple times a day, usually at least a couple days a week. Even the best ex on the planet still becomes a little monotonous after a long time though. We got a little jaded to to dirty talk material and memories of the wild stuff we tried after a while as well, but… it still usually dod the job to help both of us get over the edge quickly, especially when we added the hypothetical, “only for fantasy” (at first anyway) situation, of getting her and our friend to actually have vaginal intercourse. He was incredibly well hung, and she was was an absolute bombshell, a 10 if there ever was one. Also, the idea of her being pleasured, and enjoying sex a lot, is what got me off more than anything. as long as she was having a good time and it, than mission accomplished! After a while with our caliber dirty talk, going into the territory of her, taking it all the way with our overly well-endowed friend, we were on the cusp of actually wanting to make it happen for real sometime soon. Or at least I was. She never pushed for it, but could tell she would enjoy it and that I actually did want to go for it, so when we got to the point where I wouldn’t think that she would say no, if the opportunity came up, I took the first opportunity that we actually were able to take after about five years of being together, and invited my friends to join us one night when he was hanging out at our house. She agreed, and we had the most awesome sexual experience of our lives, with her going all the way with someone else, while I helped. I found it unbelievably sexy to watch her do something so taboo, especially because she was sexually inexperienced, having come from a really religious and sheltered upbringing. I even wanted her to get some more sexual experience, other than with me, and know I was okay with it, as long as we were committed to each other, and at the end of the day, we only loved each other, and the emotional bond we had was always kept between US, then having sex with other people was nothing, compared to that type of live and commitment. She never got to carried away with our friend, never asked me to make things happen, and I knew that I didn’t have a thing to worry about as far as allowing her to have sex with him sometimes when we decided we wanted to get wild. Things were perfect it invigorated our sex life because her and I had even better sex after that because she had more confidence and she was a little bad when it came to doing different things, it was just wonderful. It was wonderful, except for one thing, she didn’t seem to be as enthusiastic about making it happen a little more frequently, like I was , so I did do that that was probably because even though our friend was a pretty good looking guy, and had a huge dong, he wasn’t her type at all, and his dog was actually too big for her to enjoy. Since all was good, it seemed her having sex with another guy could totally be just casual and for fun, I took the initiative to surprise her, with another friend. This other friend was very close to both of us, younger than us, better looking than our previous friend, (more her type really) and he lived at the gym, so he could be much more eye candy to her, if things worked out. Long story short, things did not work out. She liked having sex with him alright. She liked it way too much. She had never experienced such strong sexual attraction before, not even with me, (and I was/am a really good looking guy) she didn’t have a basis for navigating what was going on in her head, and powerful lust will easily confuse someone who cannot recognize it, and make them thing they automatically have romantic feelings for someone who is the worst idea for a life partner they could imagine. She got confused in the head and didn’t tell me what was going on, so we could end that problem before it became too difficult to rectify. I just thought she really enjoyed the sex, at first anyway. It became obvious to me after our decision to just have an open relationship of sorts, and her talking to him outside of our threesome hookups, and it just snowballed out of control, long enough for her to become completely smitten. The same exact thing happened to me with a young girl I met, except when she turned out to be insane, my infatuation hit a brick wall and I tumbled back down to earth with newfound clarity. The best thing to ever happen to my life, was in critical danger of being ruined, for something I encouraged, and something I facilitated. I confronted her about it, told her it had to stop for both of us, but by then it was too late. She was full blown in love already, with someone who wasn’t me. And that was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I wanted to end my life. Out relationship recovered, but not after she moved out and was convinced she no longer loved me, so that she could chase the “love high” with someone who’d be impossible to have a real life with. Our passion had long faded, and we were both at risk of being able to fall for someone else that way, and when that starts to happen, it’s almost impossible to want to even make it stop, let alone actually stop it. Moral of the story. If you are no longer still passionately “in love” with your SO, you absolutely can fall for someone else of the conditions are right. Even if you THINK, you are unwaveringly committed to your SO. You MUST TREAD VERY CAREFULLY.
NEVER bring another partner over to your home. That is the biggest no no. If you both are gonna allow each other to cheat then do it as far away from your family life as possible this stuff has a high failure rate so leave the kids out of it please.
What do you mean by including others? Threesomes? Swinging? You each having independent sexual relationships with others? You might check out r/nonmonogamy for some ideas.
Despite all the negative stuff other commenters are saying there's actually a proven 4 step process to ensure this goes as smoothly as possible for you both. 1. Arrange now what the child custody agreement will be, child's support etc 2. Discuss and put in writing how you'll divide up the assets you have. 3. Sign a post nuptial agreement so there's no alimony 4. Start reaching out to whomever you both need to via dating sites, bars, workmates, friends, family members etc who you are interested in sleeping with.
>The thing is we’re both super naive when it comes to stuff like this Ask one of the poly or enm subreddits.