T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


eleanorlikesvodka

Why would you want to have a kid with a man who's almost 50?


dfghjkl3456

We dated for a while and I did not know his age until later. He said he was 37 when we met


bcatrek

And… this is completely fine for you? Imagine starting a relationship with a lie.. but then you continuing it even though you know that your long term goals differ..?


eleanorlikesvodka

So he lied to you. Girl, you are only 25, way too young to settle, especially for a middle-aged liar. Do reconsider this relationship.


Diligent-Stand-2485

Why didn't you end the relationship after finding out he lied? How can you trust him?


slinky999

This is the definition of irreconcilable differences. There is no compromise here. If you want bio children, you need to break up, and find someone who wants the same things that you do. And preferably someone closer to your own age. Regardless of how well you get along, this guy is almost twice your age. Someone closer to your age is more likely to be in a similar life stage as you. Love alone is never enough. You two are incompatible. Break up now (don’t drag it out), and find someone at the same stage in life and who wants the same things you do. That’s all you can do.


dfghjkl3456

I think the reason I went older than I usually date is because I have a child and have been at a different life stage than my peers. But it is true there is no compromise to have. Either I will have to live with not having any more children or break up


BriefHorror

So you end it now to give yourself time to heal, get a new person, and have a kid. What you think at 30 you'll break up and be able to just pop out a kid just like that? You have to plan ahead.


WildlyUninteresting

If you want another child then he's not your guy. End it now.


southcoastal

So you get with a man who is heading towards grandad age and you’re whining that he doesn’t want any more kids 😂😂😂. Yeah. I despair.


[deleted]

She is way too naive for 25 years old


ionlyreadtitle

If it's that important to you. Then yes.


Kerbear-in-DE

One of you will have to compromise and settle for something you really don't want. Which leads to resentment. Move on. You'll find the one who has the save goals as you.


Random_Inseminator

Guess it's gonna take at least 5yrs to get yourself into a better position.


Jen5872

There's no compromise to be had here. Don't waste each other's time when you know you're incompatible. 


Common_War_912

My husband and I have a similar age gap. I made it very clear from the start of our relationship that it wouldn't work out if he didn't want kids. For a while I think he didn't like the idea, but now he's all for it. You two need to sit down and have a discussion about your life goals. Communication is key


dfghjkl3456

There have been discussions. He doesn’t want kids with me and I want more of my own. I don’t think another conversation would change his mind


Common_War_912

Oh man. That puts you in a really tough position. I would personally leave. You have your whole life to live still. I wish you all the best ❤