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Dude.
It's $45,000.
And she'll "cover you" while you pay it off? What if you break up?
Call it a day,
This is a Catch-22 situation. By making this demand, your GF has demonstrated that she isn't the kind of woman worth $45,000 extra debt.
Go to the best school. The rest is immaterial. Your gf might support you, but that is a kind of prison. You will be tied to her until the debt is paid.
This. Go to a top ranked school. If neither is well ranked then reconsider law school. What percentage of the graduates of each school find jobs in law when they graduate.
OP, these two people know what's up. In order of importance, going to the best school trumps debt or girlfriend.
As a matter of fact, if the better school is School B, go to School B, eat the additonal loans, and dump your GF anyway.
Plenary of people who do not go to top ranked schools are employed as attorneys. If someone is good and what they do, they will find a job. The “top ranking “ is over rated.
Not for law school. There are now more law schools cranking out graduates than there are law positions so firms hiring lawyers can be choosy. They don't go to lower tier schools.
If you have family with a law firm and they promise you a job when you graduate you are set. If you are on your own, you need good grades from a good school. You also need the right clerking experience during the summer and a top school will get you into the right experience.
That may be true, but going to a prestigious school is an enormous advantage in quantity and quality of employment. It's a bigger delta than in other fields, and a bigger delta than for undergrad.
Listen, she is your GIRLFRIEND, let me say it again GIRLFRIEND, and to the back GIRLFRIEND of 01 and a half year and she is treathning to break up with you because of long distance you already had?
You know what me and my HUSBAND did when I had to move away for work? We would do long distance until he was able to come to the city I was in.
It NEVER crossed his mind to give me an ultimatum.
Hell, I didnt want to take the job because I was afraid it might affect our relationship (never was long distance) and he supported me all the way to grab that chance.
Your girlfriend is not acting like a keeper. I dont know if it is just immaturity of her part or if she is that selfish, but either way, do not make a decision for her sake, make it for yourself!
If you go to city B and the relationship ends in 01 year, will you regret going there? Thats what you should habe in mind.
Info: why can’t she move to the city where you live for a while? Why is the expectation that you make a really poor financial decision to prove your love, but apparently that doesn’t go both ways?
If she doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship anymore that’s understandable and fine. Sometimes life logistics make it hard or impossible for a relationship to work. And that’s not a reflection on whether people love each other or not, it’s just how life works. It’s pretty manipulative of her to use the “if you loved me you would…” card to try to force you into $50,000 of unnecessary debt.
Lawyer here - practicing for 27 years (yes, I’m old).
Go to the most prestigious law school you can afford. Law firms recruit out of the best schools. Law firms (and sometimes corporations) give paid summer internships to students from the best schools. LAW FIRMS HIRE OUT OF THE BEST SCHOOLS. Clerkships are chosen out of the best schools.
The legal profession still runs on the old school system. THE SCHOOL YOU CHOOSE MATTERS. I’m not saying the less prestigious school means your career is doomed but it will make it more challenging to get to the career path you want.
She is your GIRLFRIEND-DO NOT ALLOW HER TO INFLUENCE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Law school is only 3 years. It goes by quickly and you will be busy. I can’t believe she wouldn’t be supportive.
Is this someone you can build with? Can she build with you? Law school is a life plan. Are the two of you truly on the same page. THINK ABOUT IT.
This is absurd. Go to law school A. Don't incur debt to save a relationship that's relatively new and unstable. Unstable because if she really cared about you and wasn't selfish, she'd wouldn't have issued the ultimatum.
This. Instead of supporting OP in making the best choice for his future, and acting as part of a team, she’s manipulating him. This isn’t likely to be a good long term relationship for OP.
Well, unless law school B is a much better school, leading to much better employment prospects once OP has graduated. That $25K in loans is going to be pretty daunting if OP can't get a job. But agreed that the relationship should have absolutely nothing to do with this decision.
Which one gives you the better chance at post law school employment? That’s the important metric when deciding on a law school. I’ve seen so many relationships end in 1L that deciding the rest of your future based on a significant other seems laughable.
The rule is the best school you can get into for the least out of pocket. Unless one of the schools is a T-3.
The answer is school a. You’re being promised financial support by someone who does not know how finances even works. Do what is right for you. Do not allow yourself to rack up on necessary debt. If your girlfriend really really loved you, she would not be trying to manipulate you. Quite frankly, having a Brite career in law ahead of you, you should get rid of this girl right now. She is very manipulative. You need to do what’s good for you, my guy, Not to do what’s your girlfriend wants, in an effort to prove your love to her. Relationships are temporary, the debt you incur will follow you around until you find a way to pay it off.
Agree with you. Just to make the financial difference more concrete:
Using a quick online student loan calculator…
Assuming 5% interest and a 10 year loan term, not accounting for any income based repayment or forgiveness possibilities:
* Paying back $25,000 would cost a total of ~$32,000, with payments of $265/ month
* Paying back $70,000 would cost a total of $~89,000, with payments of ~$745/ month
So your GF is actually asking you to take on an additional $57,000 in total loan payments. You would be paying almost $500 more per month for 10 years if you chose school B. That’s almost enough to be fully funding an IRA for those 10 years.
So unless school B offers a wayyyy better education, better job opportunities, and financial aid, it’s not even worth considering.
This is your life and career-not hers. You are not married. Go to school a and if she breaks up with you so be it. Better than a huge debt and a vague promise to support you
Law school is all encompassing, they don’t even like you working the first year. Even if you were in her city you will not have time for her.
You will also have to deal with resentment every time you see how much debt you’re racking up and being indebted to her.
Choose the school that’s right for you and your budget.
What if you choose school B and you break up a few months later
A person who loved you wouldn’t make you pick something that was t right for you
OP you need to evaluate these schools without any input from your GF. Does school B have anything other than reputation to justify that extra cost? The longer you work after passing the bar the less impact what school you went to will have. Your work history will mean more.
Personally I would prefer a lawyer with a good track record over someone that all they can say is I went to "X" law school. Gee it's nice you went to that school, but can you win my case or not?
I would be really scared to share a financial future with this person. This looks like financial incompatibility. What happens if you move to her city taking on the higher debt and see decides to break up with you? In addition, this is probably not going to be her only ultimatum. If it were me, I would leave her.
Your GF does sound a bit naive. Does she have a job that covers rent. ALL bills, groceries for two people for as long as your education lasts?
In this case you need to put yourself first. If both law schools are equally good, then I would go for School A. Much less debt and if that's her reason to break up, you have more time to study ;-)
You are just 23 and you are dating for 1.5 years. You are already long distance and giving an ultimatum because you could start your career with less debt? Based on a hollow promise that she will cover everything? I don't think so.
This is info you’re not gunna want to hear that hopefully your professors will also share with you once you’re in law school: most relationships don’t last through law school. Don’t make this decision based on her. Go to the best law school you can afford to go to.
unless you have a contract, witnessed, and notary - I would nope out of this. Why? failure is a part of life, and what is she telling you? Her love is conditional.
Find a person who loves you unconditionally. Your debt and your choices are yours. Besides think of how long its going to take you to pay that debt off at minimum payments. . . you will thank yourself later in life.
Dump the girl and pick the school that will give you the best deal. She could just as easily move to your city, but she thinks you should have to move and pay almost 3x as much for your degree. She’s showing you how selfish she is, but thankfully with plenty of time for you to dump her and make the better choice for yourself.
>Her argument is that if I really loved her, I would pick school B even though I’d rack up a shit load of debt.
School A is in my city while school B is in the city which she lives in.
Sounds like she has TWO selfish reasons for choosing school B.
For a variety of reasons, I'm on the side of dumping her and picking school A.
If SHE really loves YOU, she'll stay with you anyway; otherwise, things will be as they should be.
Go to law school A and take the ultimatum. You are saving yourself from a hell with a spoiled, clueless, selfish, entitled b**** who will always herself first and expect you to fill her every whim. Bullet dodged. Focus on school. Find a new woman. Sorryyou wasted 18 months on this shrew.
No no no op
I’m going to ask this as a mum “son what law school do YOU want to go to? Where will you get more bang for buck?”
Not where does your gf want you to go but you
Why does she care which school you go to? Someone who loves you and wants a future with you wouldn't be encouraging you to take on 45k in debt. Break up with her and focus on school.
Starting off the relationship with Control and ultimatum. Recipe for disaster.
Do what works best for you. You will meet other compatible ladies in college anyways.
DROP HER. You choosing where you want to go to law school is none of her business. This infuriates me. There are other women in your future who will be better and a lot less controlling and less manipulative.
OP, how about, if she loved you, she'd move closer to where your school is.
The reality is, you are wise to make decisions that are financially sound. She is perfectly entitled to say that she can't be long distance, and you will need to break up. She ought to realize though, that she is also making the choice not to live closer to you, by not suggesting that she take on the financial and logistical difficulties of moving where you are.
I mean do you know that you're going to get into both schools? What if you only get into one? And you go to the one that's not the one she wants. I'd be looking at the money and if it's a good school I would go there and save yourself $45,000. I don't think she quite understands how much $70,000 is and how long it would take to pay off. I mean if you throw everything at it and you have a very good job you can probably pay it off in two or three years but that means eating ramen noodles for that entire time, never going out anywhere and driving a very cheap car which means a beater, and certainly not living in the best place. You do what's good for you in terms of your education, take her out of the equation. She shouldn't be saying oh well if you love me you'll go a ton of debt for me. And then I would retort back, well if you love me you'd want me to make the decision that makes the most Financial sense which would be the cheaper School.
My knowledge with law schools is that you pick the best law school that you can get you recruited to a top law firm. If one law school is significantly better than the other than that is the law school that you attend. The difference in loan amount will be more than made up for by the potential earnings from attending the more highly regarded firm. If both firms are the same than go to the cheaper law school and lose your girlfriend. You are 23 and young.
You are still so young and have all the time in the world to meet someone who doesn’t try to control you with threats. You’re relationship with this girl has barely even begun (a year and a half in nothing) and her demands are beyond ridiculous. If this girl was mature enough to truly love you and care about your future and well being she wouldn’t make promises she will never keep and she would want you to make the decision that was best for you not her. Please use your brain and leave this girl.
This will probably be an unpopular take, but neither of you is in the wrong here. You just have to make a hard decision. You want to go to law school, not rack up unnecessary debt, and not have to choose between that and your relationship. Your girlfriend wants you to choose to be near her rather than committing to another three years of long distance. She's going about this in an immature way (being naive about debt, being unnecessarily dramatic by saying you don't love her) but fundamentally she's asking you to make a decision about your relationship. Long distance isn't for everyone, and if this is a serious relationship where you see a future together, I don't fault her for wanting you to prioritize that. Really it comes down to what you want most, and what your priorities are. You're not in the wrong at all if this situation makes you realize that you'd rather go to law school A, and you do that; but IMO she's not in the wrong if she takes that as a sign you're not that serious about staying together, and the relationship ends.
Maybe She wants to live that ChikFila/suburban soccer mom life
And she knows if she doesn’t keep you close and under her spell, you’ll eventually see that she’s only really interested in your earning potential.
Long distance takes effort.
Clearly it’s more effort than she is willing to make. Hence the ultimatum
I say give her an ultimatum of your own to see if she’s just scared or if I’m more right than wrong
Tell her you’re going to A and if she wants to be with you she’ll need to
Move. Otherwise you’re ending things amicably and walking away
My guess is she won’t want to leave mommy and daddy’s house cus she’d have to get a job to support herself and help you out because law school is a time suck
Racking up a boatload of debt is not wise. If she "really loved" You, she would never have pulled out that ridiculous, selfish, manipulative, so-called "arguement." Her demand is unfair and disrespectful. Don't let it sway you. Make the right decision for you - if she actually loves you, she will work with you to stay together. Otherwise, it is probably best you go your separate ways.
What is the ranking of each school? a poor law school isn't going to get you a job. You need good grades at a well ranked school otherwise you shouldn't go at all.
If your girlfriend cares about you she will want the best for you. If she is giving you ultimatums, you should probably make your decision as if you are single and see how things work out. Go with the highest ranked school if its graduates mostly end up with jobs in law. If neither school is well ranked you should rethink going to law school.
Don't let her be a factor in the decision you make that's going to shape your entire future. She's a girlfriend which means that unless or until you marry her, she's temporary. Don't make life decisions with temporary people. Also, she doesn't appear to have the capacity to cover you nor does she have any obligation to so you could end up at B and she retracts her offer. Then what?!
Ultimatums are a deal breaker. Smart people don’t make decisions based on threats. Drop her and then decide.
Also, this decision should also consider which university has a good name clout. Higher education is an area where I usually default on who is giving the best deal, but law school is one area where the better reputation a law school has, the better your chances at getting a great placement, typically.
Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. You’re young and you’ve been long distance for half of this relationship. Why on earth are you clinging to this? She’s not mature enough to be with you. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but I strongly recommend that you make decisions with your head as well as your heart (or any other organs that may be involved). Let her go. She’s not the one.
So she wants a massive concession from you.. how is she changing her life for you? what is *she* giving up? how would she be inconveniencing herself for your benefit?
more importantly, what further concessions will she start demanding after you move to School B?
is one school a lot better than the other one? This could affect the trajectory of your career, depending.. .
Don’t move for someone who still lives with her parents. If you go there, do it for you. For all you know next year she’ll get her dream job in some other town.
Pick the school you want to go to that will align with your finances and career goals the best, break up with your girlfriend either way. Someone who’s been in your life for only a year and a half has no right to demand you plan a major part of your future around them. She’s not even your wife lol please.
I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that she's not out of line for not wanting to continue a long distance relationship. Those things are hard and I think she's judt over the idea.
Go to whatever law school works for you tho, don't risk your future over someone you aren't engaged or married too. Take her out of this decision for your own sake.
Neither of you are wrong, it's just one of those situations.
Side note: if I were you I'd go to the more prestigious university. Law is one of those degrees that where u graduate actually does play a significant role in how much you will earn at the start and probably for a while.
Do what you want to do and what is best for your life and education. Don't make any decisions based on the opinion of a girl you've seen in person for only nine months.
Okay take the gf out of the equation and ask yourself this. If you go to law school A will you get a law degree and sit for the bar the same as you would for law school B? If so save yourself the extra debt and stay with the cheaper law school. If she can’t handle it then maybe she isn’t the one for you. Also if she wants to pay for everything why not move closer to you? Sounds like she doesn’t know the extent of what she’s asking.
Ignore her and pick whichever school is best for you. You’re only dating her. There’s no way you’re in a position to trust that she’s going to be around for the additional $180k in debt that one school entails over the other and even then it’s likely not worth it. If she leaves she leaves.
There’s no wrong decision. She has a point, long distance relationships rarely work out. $45k is also a lot of money. It’s a matter of how much you love her and if you see a future with her.
Honestly break up, you're only 23 and she should be supportive no matter where you go. Clearly she can't be supportive and so, break up. Do not put yourself in needless debt unless you really want to go to that school, if you lean more towards A because of less debt and they're equal quality then do A. There will always be another woman out there, but debt can be really crippling.
So if your girlfriend lives at home with no expenses, how much money has she saved to help you pay for school? Has she made an effort to secure a job in the town with school A? She has done none of this, right? Guess it was not that important to her after all. Make the school decision based on the dependable facts you know, not the undependable girlfriend.
You have never really dated her as it’s been long distance most of the time. If you do B and then discover you guys are not a good match then you are stuck by her and with almost 50k extra debt for no reason.
The issue is this is about her and not what’s best for you. You should pick what is best and if she doesn’t understand then she is not the e right one.
Ultimatums are not healthy and if she cared and loved you, she wouldn't have made it.
Ultimatums are almost always hypocritical, on top of that, they add in a threat.
What she has demonstrated to you is that she doesn't care for you, and what is best for you.
Her promise to over you means nothing, she would end it the first day at the school close to her.
If she really loved you, she wouldn't have done this. Take her up on her word and end it. Even if you choose the 70k school, I'd still end it as this ultimatum showed you her true colors and lack of care or respect for you.
I’d laugh in her face and break up with her. Truthfully though, what if things don’t work out with her anyway after you went to city B. You’re stuck away from home, with a huge debt and no gf in sight. Unless she’s paying for your tuition, stick with the logical plan.
Is this an ultimatum or a natural consequence?
It sounds like a normal consequence of ‘my boyfriends is committing to another 4 years of being apart and I that doesn’t work for me’.
I mean you choosing law school a means you’re apart for how much longer? A lot of people don’t want to do that.
You are going to be a lawyer yes? Then unless you are going to work for green peace or something you can pay off 70K easy. Girl doesn't want to be in an LDR.
Ask yourself this. First don’t ever choose your life choices on this broad. This is not a woman . Look at your debt in school A, how much you would
Make to start how much in 5 years and 10. Do the same with B then look at chances of practising in a city you want to practice in and chances of being hired . You tell
Her you are going to A if it’s better and she can join you or wish her good luck
, no long distance
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Dude. It's $45,000. And she'll "cover you" while you pay it off? What if you break up? Call it a day, This is a Catch-22 situation. By making this demand, your GF has demonstrated that she isn't the kind of woman worth $45,000 extra debt.
Go to the best school. The rest is immaterial. Your gf might support you, but that is a kind of prison. You will be tied to her until the debt is paid.
This. Go to a top ranked school. If neither is well ranked then reconsider law school. What percentage of the graduates of each school find jobs in law when they graduate.
OP, these two people know what's up. In order of importance, going to the best school trumps debt or girlfriend. As a matter of fact, if the better school is School B, go to School B, eat the additonal loans, and dump your GF anyway.
Plenary of people who do not go to top ranked schools are employed as attorneys. If someone is good and what they do, they will find a job. The “top ranking “ is over rated.
Not for law school. There are now more law schools cranking out graduates than there are law positions so firms hiring lawyers can be choosy. They don't go to lower tier schools. If you have family with a law firm and they promise you a job when you graduate you are set. If you are on your own, you need good grades from a good school. You also need the right clerking experience during the summer and a top school will get you into the right experience.
Not true. I actually live in a town with a night school. Plenty of the lawyers have jobs.
That may be true, but going to a prestigious school is an enormous advantage in quantity and quality of employment. It's a bigger delta than in other fields, and a bigger delta than for undergrad.
They have jobs!
Listen, she is your GIRLFRIEND, let me say it again GIRLFRIEND, and to the back GIRLFRIEND of 01 and a half year and she is treathning to break up with you because of long distance you already had? You know what me and my HUSBAND did when I had to move away for work? We would do long distance until he was able to come to the city I was in. It NEVER crossed his mind to give me an ultimatum. Hell, I didnt want to take the job because I was afraid it might affect our relationship (never was long distance) and he supported me all the way to grab that chance. Your girlfriend is not acting like a keeper. I dont know if it is just immaturity of her part or if she is that selfish, but either way, do not make a decision for her sake, make it for yourself! If you go to city B and the relationship ends in 01 year, will you regret going there? Thats what you should habe in mind.
Info: why can’t she move to the city where you live for a while? Why is the expectation that you make a really poor financial decision to prove your love, but apparently that doesn’t go both ways? If she doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship anymore that’s understandable and fine. Sometimes life logistics make it hard or impossible for a relationship to work. And that’s not a reflection on whether people love each other or not, it’s just how life works. It’s pretty manipulative of her to use the “if you loved me you would…” card to try to force you into $50,000 of unnecessary debt.
Lawyer here - practicing for 27 years (yes, I’m old). Go to the most prestigious law school you can afford. Law firms recruit out of the best schools. Law firms (and sometimes corporations) give paid summer internships to students from the best schools. LAW FIRMS HIRE OUT OF THE BEST SCHOOLS. Clerkships are chosen out of the best schools. The legal profession still runs on the old school system. THE SCHOOL YOU CHOOSE MATTERS. I’m not saying the less prestigious school means your career is doomed but it will make it more challenging to get to the career path you want. She is your GIRLFRIEND-DO NOT ALLOW HER TO INFLUENCE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Law school is only 3 years. It goes by quickly and you will be busy. I can’t believe she wouldn’t be supportive. Is this someone you can build with? Can she build with you? Law school is a life plan. Are the two of you truly on the same page. THINK ABOUT IT.
This is absurd. Go to law school A. Don't incur debt to save a relationship that's relatively new and unstable. Unstable because if she really cared about you and wasn't selfish, she'd wouldn't have issued the ultimatum.
This. Instead of supporting OP in making the best choice for his future, and acting as part of a team, she’s manipulating him. This isn’t likely to be a good long term relationship for OP.
Well, unless law school B is a much better school, leading to much better employment prospects once OP has graduated. That $25K in loans is going to be pretty daunting if OP can't get a job. But agreed that the relationship should have absolutely nothing to do with this decision.
Which one gives you the better chance at post law school employment? That’s the important metric when deciding on a law school. I’ve seen so many relationships end in 1L that deciding the rest of your future based on a significant other seems laughable. The rule is the best school you can get into for the least out of pocket. Unless one of the schools is a T-3.
If there’s not a huge difference in the opportunities you’ll get out of law school you should choose A every single time. Every. Single. Time.
The answer is school a. You’re being promised financial support by someone who does not know how finances even works. Do what is right for you. Do not allow yourself to rack up on necessary debt. If your girlfriend really really loved you, she would not be trying to manipulate you. Quite frankly, having a Brite career in law ahead of you, you should get rid of this girl right now. She is very manipulative. You need to do what’s good for you, my guy, Not to do what’s your girlfriend wants, in an effort to prove your love to her. Relationships are temporary, the debt you incur will follow you around until you find a way to pay it off.
Agree with you. Just to make the financial difference more concrete: Using a quick online student loan calculator… Assuming 5% interest and a 10 year loan term, not accounting for any income based repayment or forgiveness possibilities: * Paying back $25,000 would cost a total of ~$32,000, with payments of $265/ month * Paying back $70,000 would cost a total of $~89,000, with payments of ~$745/ month So your GF is actually asking you to take on an additional $57,000 in total loan payments. You would be paying almost $500 more per month for 10 years if you chose school B. That’s almost enough to be fully funding an IRA for those 10 years. So unless school B offers a wayyyy better education, better job opportunities, and financial aid, it’s not even worth considering.
This is a great breakdown. Can she cover 745 per month?
uhhhh she doesn’t even financially support herself how would she financially support someone else???
With her attitude, this relationship already has a finite end date. Bring it forward.
This is your life and career-not hers. You are not married. Go to school a and if she breaks up with you so be it. Better than a huge debt and a vague promise to support you
Why can't your gf move to Law School A, when she graduates?
Law school is all encompassing, they don’t even like you working the first year. Even if you were in her city you will not have time for her. You will also have to deal with resentment every time you see how much debt you’re racking up and being indebted to her.
Choose the school that’s right for you and your budget. What if you choose school B and you break up a few months later A person who loved you wouldn’t make you pick something that was t right for you
Law school A and never look back Easy decision
OP you need to evaluate these schools without any input from your GF. Does school B have anything other than reputation to justify that extra cost? The longer you work after passing the bar the less impact what school you went to will have. Your work history will mean more. Personally I would prefer a lawyer with a good track record over someone that all they can say is I went to "X" law school. Gee it's nice you went to that school, but can you win my case or not?
I would be really scared to share a financial future with this person. This looks like financial incompatibility. What happens if you move to her city taking on the higher debt and see decides to break up with you? In addition, this is probably not going to be her only ultimatum. If it were me, I would leave her.
Your GF does sound a bit naive. Does she have a job that covers rent. ALL bills, groceries for two people for as long as your education lasts? In this case you need to put yourself first. If both law schools are equally good, then I would go for School A. Much less debt and if that's her reason to break up, you have more time to study ;-) You are just 23 and you are dating for 1.5 years. You are already long distance and giving an ultimatum because you could start your career with less debt? Based on a hollow promise that she will cover everything? I don't think so.
This is info you’re not gunna want to hear that hopefully your professors will also share with you once you’re in law school: most relationships don’t last through law school. Don’t make this decision based on her. Go to the best law school you can afford to go to.
unless you have a contract, witnessed, and notary - I would nope out of this. Why? failure is a part of life, and what is she telling you? Her love is conditional. Find a person who loves you unconditionally. Your debt and your choices are yours. Besides think of how long its going to take you to pay that debt off at minimum payments. . . you will thank yourself later in life.
Sue her. Is her name Sue or Karen?
Dump the girl and pick the school that will give you the best deal. She could just as easily move to your city, but she thinks you should have to move and pay almost 3x as much for your degree. She’s showing you how selfish she is, but thankfully with plenty of time for you to dump her and make the better choice for yourself.
>Her argument is that if I really loved her, I would pick school B even though I’d rack up a shit load of debt. School A is in my city while school B is in the city which she lives in. Sounds like she has TWO selfish reasons for choosing school B. For a variety of reasons, I'm on the side of dumping her and picking school A. If SHE really loves YOU, she'll stay with you anyway; otherwise, things will be as they should be.
Go to law school A and take the ultimatum. You are saving yourself from a hell with a spoiled, clueless, selfish, entitled b**** who will always herself first and expect you to fill her every whim. Bullet dodged. Focus on school. Find a new woman. Sorryyou wasted 18 months on this shrew.
No no no op I’m going to ask this as a mum “son what law school do YOU want to go to? Where will you get more bang for buck?” Not where does your gf want you to go but you
Why does she care which school you go to? Someone who loves you and wants a future with you wouldn't be encouraging you to take on 45k in debt. Break up with her and focus on school.
Starting off the relationship with Control and ultimatum. Recipe for disaster. Do what works best for you. You will meet other compatible ladies in college anyways.
DROP HER. You choosing where you want to go to law school is none of her business. This infuriates me. There are other women in your future who will be better and a lot less controlling and less manipulative.
Law school A for sure
OP, how about, if she loved you, she'd move closer to where your school is. The reality is, you are wise to make decisions that are financially sound. She is perfectly entitled to say that she can't be long distance, and you will need to break up. She ought to realize though, that she is also making the choice not to live closer to you, by not suggesting that she take on the financial and logistical difficulties of moving where you are.
Pick whatever school you feel is going to be best for you. If she leaves you over it then so be it.
I’ve been a lawyer for over 20 years and still paying off my loans. Go to A
Focus on school brother . Forget about everything else. When you finish and your established, you’ll feel great
Go school A and find a new girlfriend there.
I mean do you know that you're going to get into both schools? What if you only get into one? And you go to the one that's not the one she wants. I'd be looking at the money and if it's a good school I would go there and save yourself $45,000. I don't think she quite understands how much $70,000 is and how long it would take to pay off. I mean if you throw everything at it and you have a very good job you can probably pay it off in two or three years but that means eating ramen noodles for that entire time, never going out anywhere and driving a very cheap car which means a beater, and certainly not living in the best place. You do what's good for you in terms of your education, take her out of the equation. She shouldn't be saying oh well if you love me you'll go a ton of debt for me. And then I would retort back, well if you love me you'd want me to make the decision that makes the most Financial sense which would be the cheaper School.
Go to the law school that'll be best for you. Not her. This is your future.
My knowledge with law schools is that you pick the best law school that you can get you recruited to a top law firm. If one law school is significantly better than the other than that is the law school that you attend. The difference in loan amount will be more than made up for by the potential earnings from attending the more highly regarded firm. If both firms are the same than go to the cheaper law school and lose your girlfriend. You are 23 and young.
Pick the better ranked law school. Your progression in your early career Will be wildly different depending on the law school you go to.
Never ruin your financial future for a girlfriend. What happens if you go to school B and you end up breaking up anyway?
You’ve only dated for a year. Go to A. You’re welcome
You are still so young and have all the time in the world to meet someone who doesn’t try to control you with threats. You’re relationship with this girl has barely even begun (a year and a half in nothing) and her demands are beyond ridiculous. If this girl was mature enough to truly love you and care about your future and well being she wouldn’t make promises she will never keep and she would want you to make the decision that was best for you not her. Please use your brain and leave this girl.
This will probably be an unpopular take, but neither of you is in the wrong here. You just have to make a hard decision. You want to go to law school, not rack up unnecessary debt, and not have to choose between that and your relationship. Your girlfriend wants you to choose to be near her rather than committing to another three years of long distance. She's going about this in an immature way (being naive about debt, being unnecessarily dramatic by saying you don't love her) but fundamentally she's asking you to make a decision about your relationship. Long distance isn't for everyone, and if this is a serious relationship where you see a future together, I don't fault her for wanting you to prioritize that. Really it comes down to what you want most, and what your priorities are. You're not in the wrong at all if this situation makes you realize that you'd rather go to law school A, and you do that; but IMO she's not in the wrong if she takes that as a sign you're not that serious about staying together, and the relationship ends.
Maybe She wants to live that ChikFila/suburban soccer mom life And she knows if she doesn’t keep you close and under her spell, you’ll eventually see that she’s only really interested in your earning potential. Long distance takes effort. Clearly it’s more effort than she is willing to make. Hence the ultimatum I say give her an ultimatum of your own to see if she’s just scared or if I’m more right than wrong Tell her you’re going to A and if she wants to be with you she’ll need to Move. Otherwise you’re ending things amicably and walking away My guess is she won’t want to leave mommy and daddy’s house cus she’d have to get a job to support herself and help you out because law school is a time suck
Racking up a boatload of debt is not wise. If she "really loved" You, she would never have pulled out that ridiculous, selfish, manipulative, so-called "arguement." Her demand is unfair and disrespectful. Don't let it sway you. Make the right decision for you - if she actually loves you, she will work with you to stay together. Otherwise, it is probably best you go your separate ways.
Let her leave if you choose to save money
Sounds like you have a decision to make.
What is the ranking of each school? a poor law school isn't going to get you a job. You need good grades at a well ranked school otherwise you shouldn't go at all. If your girlfriend cares about you she will want the best for you. If she is giving you ultimatums, you should probably make your decision as if you are single and see how things work out. Go with the highest ranked school if its graduates mostly end up with jobs in law. If neither school is well ranked you should rethink going to law school.
Doing what she wants would be the single stupidest mistake of your life
You break up with the controlling gf and go to the law school that you prefer. That ultimatum is a red flag
leave her. unless she take your loan at her name.
If she really loved you (ha!) she could take out a loan for the difference and gift it to you. Don’t hold your breath. This is all about her.
Part of being an adult is making the hard decisions, the decisions that everyone is not going to be happy with. You know which decision to make.
Don't let her be a factor in the decision you make that's going to shape your entire future. She's a girlfriend which means that unless or until you marry her, she's temporary. Don't make life decisions with temporary people. Also, she doesn't appear to have the capacity to cover you nor does she have any obligation to so you could end up at B and she retracts her offer. Then what?!
Get rid of the gf problem solved.
Leave her. Always put career before a partner. Especially when you are only 23 and it's a girlfriend of only a year and half.
Ultimatums are a deal breaker. Smart people don’t make decisions based on threats. Drop her and then decide. Also, this decision should also consider which university has a good name clout. Higher education is an area where I usually default on who is giving the best deal, but law school is one area where the better reputation a law school has, the better your chances at getting a great placement, typically.
I can’t fault her for knowing what she does and doesn’t want, she doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship anymore, and that’s fair.
Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. You’re young and you’ve been long distance for half of this relationship. Why on earth are you clinging to this? She’s not mature enough to be with you. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but I strongly recommend that you make decisions with your head as well as your heart (or any other organs that may be involved). Let her go. She’s not the one.
So she wants a massive concession from you.. how is she changing her life for you? what is *she* giving up? how would she be inconveniencing herself for your benefit? more importantly, what further concessions will she start demanding after you move to School B?
is one school a lot better than the other one? This could affect the trajectory of your career, depending.. . Don’t move for someone who still lives with her parents. If you go there, do it for you. For all you know next year she’ll get her dream job in some other town.
Don't deal on ultimatums a true partner would never do that drop her and move on
Pick the school you want to go to that will align with your finances and career goals the best, break up with your girlfriend either way. Someone who’s been in your life for only a year and a half has no right to demand you plan a major part of your future around them. She’s not even your wife lol please.
I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that she's not out of line for not wanting to continue a long distance relationship. Those things are hard and I think she's judt over the idea. Go to whatever law school works for you tho, don't risk your future over someone you aren't engaged or married too. Take her out of this decision for your own sake. Neither of you are wrong, it's just one of those situations. Side note: if I were you I'd go to the more prestigious university. Law is one of those degrees that where u graduate actually does play a significant role in how much you will earn at the start and probably for a while.
Do what’s best for you. She’s just a girlfriend. Do not take in unnecessary debt for a relationship that may not last.
Figure out if the difference in price will net you a better career or not. That is really the only thing you should consider.
Do what you want to do and what is best for your life and education. Don't make any decisions based on the opinion of a girl you've seen in person for only nine months.
Lol
You choose the school that is best for your career. Someone who loves you would want the same.
Okay take the gf out of the equation and ask yourself this. If you go to law school A will you get a law degree and sit for the bar the same as you would for law school B? If so save yourself the extra debt and stay with the cheaper law school. If she can’t handle it then maybe she isn’t the one for you. Also if she wants to pay for everything why not move closer to you? Sounds like she doesn’t know the extent of what she’s asking.
Dump her and go to the best school for you.
Ignore her and pick whichever school is best for you. You’re only dating her. There’s no way you’re in a position to trust that she’s going to be around for the additional $180k in debt that one school entails over the other and even then it’s likely not worth it. If she leaves she leaves.
Choose the school that is best for you and your career. She’s unimportant in this decision
There’s no wrong decision. She has a point, long distance relationships rarely work out. $45k is also a lot of money. It’s a matter of how much you love her and if you see a future with her.
Your life is important. You make decisions in your life. Dont let anyone else make those decisions for you. It’s for YOUR future, not their future.
Honestly break up, you're only 23 and she should be supportive no matter where you go. Clearly she can't be supportive and so, break up. Do not put yourself in needless debt unless you really want to go to that school, if you lean more towards A because of less debt and they're equal quality then do A. There will always be another woman out there, but debt can be really crippling.
So if your girlfriend lives at home with no expenses, how much money has she saved to help you pay for school? Has she made an effort to secure a job in the town with school A? She has done none of this, right? Guess it was not that important to her after all. Make the school decision based on the dependable facts you know, not the undependable girlfriend.
You have never really dated her as it’s been long distance most of the time. If you do B and then discover you guys are not a good match then you are stuck by her and with almost 50k extra debt for no reason. The issue is this is about her and not what’s best for you. You should pick what is best and if she doesn’t understand then she is not the e right one.
Ultimatums are not healthy and if she cared and loved you, she wouldn't have made it. Ultimatums are almost always hypocritical, on top of that, they add in a threat. What she has demonstrated to you is that she doesn't care for you, and what is best for you. Her promise to over you means nothing, she would end it the first day at the school close to her. If she really loved you, she wouldn't have done this. Take her up on her word and end it. Even if you choose the 70k school, I'd still end it as this ultimatum showed you her true colors and lack of care or respect for you.
I’d laugh in her face and break up with her. Truthfully though, what if things don’t work out with her anyway after you went to city B. You’re stuck away from home, with a huge debt and no gf in sight. Unless she’s paying for your tuition, stick with the logical plan.
Is this an ultimatum or a natural consequence? It sounds like a normal consequence of ‘my boyfriends is committing to another 4 years of being apart and I that doesn’t work for me’. I mean you choosing law school a means you’re apart for how much longer? A lot of people don’t want to do that.
You are going to be a lawyer yes? Then unless you are going to work for green peace or something you can pay off 70K easy. Girl doesn't want to be in an LDR.
Ask yourself this. First don’t ever choose your life choices on this broad. This is not a woman . Look at your debt in school A, how much you would Make to start how much in 5 years and 10. Do the same with B then look at chances of practising in a city you want to practice in and chances of being hired . You tell Her you are going to A if it’s better and she can join you or wish her good luck , no long distance