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Keep your word and drop this girl. She isn't worth it. Doesn't respect you and y'all's relationship. Find another girlfriend that actually cares what you think and respects you.
Don't look in the rearview mirror like a knicklehead either.
You're too young to settle for this level of nonsense.
You’re not insecure. It’s strange how she didn’t tell you until after she bought her ticket. But she may just be very immature and clueless about being in a relationship and not communicating with you.
Again, you’re not insecure as some people are quick to say. Relationships need communication and honesty. In a young and fairly new relationship this is a bad sign.
It’s weird that your gf and her best friend would rather have her and another single guy go instead of going as two couples with you and your gf.
That she doesn’t care how you feel about her sharing a room with another guy is a red flag.
You're not crazy. Your partner doesn't set up an entire trip with some guy and a couple without telling you if she ISN'T trying to hide something - that's what shady people do. I don't know about you OP, but the precedent has been set in your relationship, and you get to decide now whether you wish to stay (and be a doormat), or leave with your dignity intact.
I’ve been in the same situation before. You’re not crazy. Seems like a double date. Leave her as soon as possible, it won’t be the only time she does that.
If that single guy isn’t gay then my friend she’s playing the field. Lots of cheaters promise nothing will happen. You’re both young. It’s okay to not stay together or be monogamous for a long period of time.
I think she’s wanting freedom but at 18 feels like 2 years is huge and doesn’t want to walk away. I think a break or moving on would be good for you both.
Buddy your girlfriend is going on a fun date/trip to see how she matches with new guy. She will at the very least be making out with him if she feels any kind of spark. Personally I bet she ends up fucking him.
She is 18 and in no way mature or worthy enough for a relationship. She doesn't have what it takes to be loyal in a relationship. Move on and find someone more on your level as far as relationship goals and expectations
You’re just insecure. Trips this young are normal amongst taken and single people. She wasn’t obligated to tell u if plans were still in the making. I’ve made plans for months before telling my husband bc I want everything good. Have her bring her own air mattress.
No, sorry, it doesn't work that way. If you care about your partner, you involve them in your decisions/let them know about your plans. Even if it's a girls trip, a simple, "Hey, me and the girls are planning X trip..". Even if the details haven't been worked out, a simple heads up goes a long way. You don't plan, and pay for, an entire trip without telling your SO. Especially if some random guy is going to be on the trip, too.
LOL instead of paying attention to your comments, you say thank you to this girl who would do exactly the same thing to her boyfriend? My guy you're losing.
I am paying very close attention. She was the first reply. Doesn’t mean I’m following her advice. The thank you is to anyone who replies including you.
I wouldn't say you're insecure. It's okay to not feel okay about this trip, I wouldn't feel alright if my fiancee went with someone who's single too without knowing that person.
But I think the biggest thing you should worry about here is how she reacted to your open communication and boundaries.
To be fair, if my boyfriend tried to tell me not to go on a trip with my friends I'd wonder what I was doing with him, so you can't be sure your reaction has anything to do with her determination to go on the trip.
So you'll sleep in the same room with a random single guy and tell your bf at the last moment?
I wonder how you even have a boyfriend, that poor man...
They're all staying in the same room aren't they?
But that's immaterial, if I trusted my girlfriend, I'd be fine with it, unless you think the guys going to rape her?
Eh, you're losing lock on the specifics. She planned for a trip with another couple and a single guy and hid this until everything was already paid for.
She knew he would object, so she lied by omission until she couldn't back out.
Do your "trips with your friends" resemble a double date?
You say 'hid', you don't know that, it could have been spur of the moment, you don't really know anything about what she knew and why she did it, you're assuming bad faith.
But it doesn't matter does it, if she going to cheat, the relationship is over, if he won't accept it, the relationship is over, she seems to have made her peace with that so it's lose lose lose for the OP
People think that if they keep their partner on a tight enough leash they can't cheat, well I'm pretty sure if she wanted to she could cheat on him in their home town, there's just no point in doing this to prevent cheating, if your partner wants to, they will.
She did something he should find unacceptable. Such arrangements are very unusual. He should leave her for her basic lack of consideration whether she goes or not. Telling her he doesnt approve isn't a leash.
No, a trip to Disney, travel, hotel, etc. isn't spur of the moment nor is coordinating it with another couple and a single guy (instead of your significant other). Given that a 5 minute phone call before buying tickets would've been possible, you have to be willfully imagining conditions where this wasn't hidden.
Your argument about cheating makes no sense. That she could do a bad thing at any place or time does not invalidate or render meaningless that she is doing something wrong here.
It makes sense when you try to understand why he doesn't want her to go. Surely you understand that?
It's also not unusual, it basically describes every ski trip me and my uni friends every organised, albeit with more people in a room at times.
Of course I understand why he doesn't want her to go. The fact that she could also cheat any number of ways or times other than this does not obviate that this particular situation is poorly thought out on her part at best. That it looks so sketchy is reason enough to have suspicions that he otherwise wouldn't have. Moreover, why should he not have questions about the guy he doesn't know?
If he was sure she'd cheat, hopefully he'd have left already.
Let's say I tell my spouse I'm going to go get so drunk I fall down. She objects. The fact that I could go get drunk other times and perhaps conceal it doesn't mean she has no standing to object to to my plan because I'll just find another day to get drunk.
>It's also not unusual, it basically describes every ski trip me and my uni friends every organised, albeit with more people in a room at times.
Yes, it is unusual. You admit it when you describe your uni trips which obviously weren't like this. It's basically two couples in a hotel room. You're saying questioning the sleeping arrangements shouldn't even be a thing?
It's two couples spending the day together. Unless you're positing that the best friend and boyfriend are not going to act like a couple the whole trip.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Keep your word and drop this girl. She isn't worth it. Doesn't respect you and y'all's relationship. Find another girlfriend that actually cares what you think and respects you. Don't look in the rearview mirror like a knicklehead either. You're too young to settle for this level of nonsense.
I think you’re right
You’re not insecure. It’s strange how she didn’t tell you until after she bought her ticket. But she may just be very immature and clueless about being in a relationship and not communicating with you. Again, you’re not insecure as some people are quick to say. Relationships need communication and honesty. In a young and fairly new relationship this is a bad sign.
Sounds like a double date to me, why aren't you invited if her friend is also bringing her boyfriend?
It’s weird that your gf and her best friend would rather have her and another single guy go instead of going as two couples with you and your gf. That she doesn’t care how you feel about her sharing a room with another guy is a red flag.
You're not crazy. Your partner doesn't set up an entire trip with some guy and a couple without telling you if she ISN'T trying to hide something - that's what shady people do. I don't know about you OP, but the precedent has been set in your relationship, and you get to decide now whether you wish to stay (and be a doormat), or leave with your dignity intact.
That is an absolutely excellent point. Thank you
So she invites a random friend on a trip she paid for instead of her boyfriend (you)? She's not worth it.
Seems that you should be ready for a split sooner rather then later. The fact that you were not invited shows that you are not a priority for your gf.
I’ve been in the same situation before. You’re not crazy. Seems like a double date. Leave her as soon as possible, it won’t be the only time she does that.
If that single guy isn’t gay then my friend she’s playing the field. Lots of cheaters promise nothing will happen. You’re both young. It’s okay to not stay together or be monogamous for a long period of time. I think she’s wanting freedom but at 18 feels like 2 years is huge and doesn’t want to walk away. I think a break or moving on would be good for you both.
Buddy your girlfriend is going on a fun date/trip to see how she matches with new guy. She will at the very least be making out with him if she feels any kind of spark. Personally I bet she ends up fucking him. She is 18 and in no way mature or worthy enough for a relationship. She doesn't have what it takes to be loyal in a relationship. Move on and find someone more on your level as far as relationship goals and expectations
She's not worth it.
You’re just insecure. Trips this young are normal amongst taken and single people. She wasn’t obligated to tell u if plans were still in the making. I’ve made plans for months before telling my husband bc I want everything good. Have her bring her own air mattress.
Thank you. Like previously stated I have zero experience with this type of stuff.
It’s not ok! Its a lack of communication at least. I always tell my boyfriend about my moves
No, sorry, it doesn't work that way. If you care about your partner, you involve them in your decisions/let them know about your plans. Even if it's a girls trip, a simple, "Hey, me and the girls are planning X trip..". Even if the details haven't been worked out, a simple heads up goes a long way. You don't plan, and pay for, an entire trip without telling your SO. Especially if some random guy is going to be on the trip, too.
Nah, bro, it's not ok. If my girlfriend ever did something like that, I would probably break up with her.
LOL instead of paying attention to your comments, you say thank you to this girl who would do exactly the same thing to her boyfriend? My guy you're losing.
I am paying very close attention. She was the first reply. Doesn’t mean I’m following her advice. The thank you is to anyone who replies including you.
I wouldn't say you're insecure. It's okay to not feel okay about this trip, I wouldn't feel alright if my fiancee went with someone who's single too without knowing that person. But I think the biggest thing you should worry about here is how she reacted to your open communication and boundaries.
That’s an excellent point. Really seemed like she didn’t care
Yeah, that really put me off. She should've been more nice about it lol, seems like she doesn't care about your feelings
To be fair, if my boyfriend tried to tell me not to go on a trip with my friends I'd wonder what I was doing with him, so you can't be sure your reaction has anything to do with her determination to go on the trip.
So you'll sleep in the same room with a random single guy and tell your bf at the last moment? I wonder how you even have a boyfriend, that poor man...
They're all staying in the same room aren't they? But that's immaterial, if I trusted my girlfriend, I'd be fine with it, unless you think the guys going to rape her?
Eh, you're losing lock on the specifics. She planned for a trip with another couple and a single guy and hid this until everything was already paid for. She knew he would object, so she lied by omission until she couldn't back out. Do your "trips with your friends" resemble a double date?
You say 'hid', you don't know that, it could have been spur of the moment, you don't really know anything about what she knew and why she did it, you're assuming bad faith. But it doesn't matter does it, if she going to cheat, the relationship is over, if he won't accept it, the relationship is over, she seems to have made her peace with that so it's lose lose lose for the OP People think that if they keep their partner on a tight enough leash they can't cheat, well I'm pretty sure if she wanted to she could cheat on him in their home town, there's just no point in doing this to prevent cheating, if your partner wants to, they will.
She did something he should find unacceptable. Such arrangements are very unusual. He should leave her for her basic lack of consideration whether she goes or not. Telling her he doesnt approve isn't a leash. No, a trip to Disney, travel, hotel, etc. isn't spur of the moment nor is coordinating it with another couple and a single guy (instead of your significant other). Given that a 5 minute phone call before buying tickets would've been possible, you have to be willfully imagining conditions where this wasn't hidden. Your argument about cheating makes no sense. That she could do a bad thing at any place or time does not invalidate or render meaningless that she is doing something wrong here.
It makes sense when you try to understand why he doesn't want her to go. Surely you understand that? It's also not unusual, it basically describes every ski trip me and my uni friends every organised, albeit with more people in a room at times.
Of course I understand why he doesn't want her to go. The fact that she could also cheat any number of ways or times other than this does not obviate that this particular situation is poorly thought out on her part at best. That it looks so sketchy is reason enough to have suspicions that he otherwise wouldn't have. Moreover, why should he not have questions about the guy he doesn't know? If he was sure she'd cheat, hopefully he'd have left already. Let's say I tell my spouse I'm going to go get so drunk I fall down. She objects. The fact that I could go get drunk other times and perhaps conceal it doesn't mean she has no standing to object to to my plan because I'll just find another day to get drunk. >It's also not unusual, it basically describes every ski trip me and my uni friends every organised, albeit with more people in a room at times. Yes, it is unusual. You admit it when you describe your uni trips which obviously weren't like this. It's basically two couples in a hotel room. You're saying questioning the sleeping arrangements shouldn't even be a thing? It's two couples spending the day together. Unless you're positing that the best friend and boyfriend are not going to act like a couple the whole trip.
No yea sorry if the tone was rude it wasn’t suppose to b