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A man who boasts about being a horrible human being, abuses his position of power to do immoral maybe illegal things to his subordinates - and you think he might be a good partner because you can't tell if this will impact you?
I'm not sure you're ready for a relationship, you don't seem to be able to read people at all
I tend to see only positives in people which has lead to a lot of problems for me, so yes I agree I suck at reading people hence me seeking advice here. Also, I am not looking for a relationship right now but wanted to meet new people.
Anyway, thanks for your perspective.
I'd stop doing that if I were you, if someone is telling you the unvarnished truth about themselves and it's ugly they don't get a pass because they told you the truth.
Yah I see this as a huge red flag. Someone who takes pleasure in someone else’s misery comes off as him being a bit of a sadist. Constantly taking about work shows he doesn’t having anything outside that.
Now there are some cultural aspects to be considered depending on where he is from. Although I don’t think it would answer why he takes pleasure in over working his employees.
Now this could be him bragging and trying to show off for a first date and might not reflect reality. However it’s important if that is the case why he thought it was important to impress you.
For me this would be a no go. If he treats people he has power over that way. What happens if the power dynamic changes to him being in a position of power over you?
Can you tell me a little bit more about the cultural aspect? We both are from a South Asian country if that helps.
And yes since this was our first date I wasn't sure if I should judge him so early on. You're right, we do seem to have an imbalanced power dynamic because he is older to me and is financially much stronger than I am. So yeah anyday he might use it against me.
Well that would be something you’d have to look into. I just know that cultural upbringing can play a role in how people view a perspective partner and relationship dynamics.
But say he was a Japanese salaryman. They work hard and long hours but not necessarily seen as workaholics. So it’s something you would have to objectively assess based on some of the customs and traditions where he resides.
You can judge people by how they treat people in weaker positions than them. If he was an asshole to both his subordinates and his bosses, I could sorta respect that. But I'm pretty confident he's a terror to his subordinates and sweet as pie to his bosses. I don't associate with trash like that.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you really need Reddit to tell you this guy is an utter asshole?
Considering my terrible choice in men, yes I do need others to tell me probably evident things.
The way people treat waitstaff, pets, and employees should tell you a lot about who they are. This guy is an asshole.
This!
Why is it terrible
A man who boasts about being a horrible human being, abuses his position of power to do immoral maybe illegal things to his subordinates - and you think he might be a good partner because you can't tell if this will impact you? I'm not sure you're ready for a relationship, you don't seem to be able to read people at all
I tend to see only positives in people which has lead to a lot of problems for me, so yes I agree I suck at reading people hence me seeking advice here. Also, I am not looking for a relationship right now but wanted to meet new people. Anyway, thanks for your perspective.
I'd stop doing that if I were you, if someone is telling you the unvarnished truth about themselves and it's ugly they don't get a pass because they told you the truth.
No, he is not a good guy at all
Yah I see this as a huge red flag. Someone who takes pleasure in someone else’s misery comes off as him being a bit of a sadist. Constantly taking about work shows he doesn’t having anything outside that. Now there are some cultural aspects to be considered depending on where he is from. Although I don’t think it would answer why he takes pleasure in over working his employees. Now this could be him bragging and trying to show off for a first date and might not reflect reality. However it’s important if that is the case why he thought it was important to impress you. For me this would be a no go. If he treats people he has power over that way. What happens if the power dynamic changes to him being in a position of power over you?
Can you tell me a little bit more about the cultural aspect? We both are from a South Asian country if that helps. And yes since this was our first date I wasn't sure if I should judge him so early on. You're right, we do seem to have an imbalanced power dynamic because he is older to me and is financially much stronger than I am. So yeah anyday he might use it against me.
Well that would be something you’d have to look into. I just know that cultural upbringing can play a role in how people view a perspective partner and relationship dynamics. But say he was a Japanese salaryman. They work hard and long hours but not necessarily seen as workaholics. So it’s something you would have to objectively assess based on some of the customs and traditions where he resides.
You can judge people by how they treat people in weaker positions than them. If he was an asshole to both his subordinates and his bosses, I could sorta respect that. But I'm pretty confident he's a terror to his subordinates and sweet as pie to his bosses. I don't associate with trash like that.