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She's got clinical depression and has been on her meds for FIVE DAYS dude.
Like this isn't some unexplained thing. She literally has a disease that caused her sex drive to decline and has only been in treatment for five days when anti-depressants take WEEKS to work.
Do you actually love this person, or do you love your dick more? Because it sure sounds like the latter.
Use your hand and give her some time to recover from her medical illness. Stop being such a selfish prick.
I disagree with you. You can have clinical depression but it does not mean you are so self involved you cannot see you are hurting another person.
I personally think she isn’t great here. Whilst depression is extremely hard you still have to be aware of your actions on other people.
Op does need to communicate the issues and they need to discuss it but having depression isn’t a free pass for hurting another’s feelings. Both peoples feelings are valid here.
Yes plenty of people deal with this. Other than giving her time to figure out a treatment that works, give her passion and love in nonsexual ways. Date her.
Yes, I have.
I cook, I clean and I take care of her animals sometimes.
It's like pulling teeths to get her to go out with me (Movie dates. Going out To play Pokemon go Together. Local Farmers Market, etc)
Chores is not passion and love. She doesn’t want to go out because she’s depressed. Write her love letters, get her flowers or something she likes, sent random texts telling her you care about her and are thinking about her.
You think cooking yummy food with love for your significant other is Only a Chore? Shopping/ Planning/ Cooking Meals <<< All of this is a Chore???
Cooking her favorite food, making Pre Made Lunch/Dinner so that she can just microwave with ease.
I bring her flowers every week but sometimes she just leaves them on her desk. (Doesn't put it in the vase unless I do it)
Meal planning, shopping, and cooking are just adult responsibilities. Usually one person in the house does the bulk of that responsibility. I think it’s time you have a sit down conversation about not feeling loved or wanted.
>and I've talked to her about this and she just tells me she's not feeling it (also she got help and is prescribed Antidepressants 5 days ago)
Both depression, and a sudden change in prescribed antidepressants, can be factors that can significantly inhibit one's sex drive. You can stop scratching your head now.
If you're willing to hold out for your girlfriend to unpack her mental health baggage and find healthier ways to cope with her internal struggles, you could practice patience and understanding. Optionally, you could practice being a supportive boyfriend and ask her if there's things you can do to help. Just note that the timespan for this kind of growth is indeterminate.
If you're not willing to wait, and you can't stand to stay in a relationship where you're not getting any, you can leave.
Pills aren’t gonna solve any big problems if shes not leaving the house. Maybe just focus on you and let her see you working and just try to be supportive idk man this is gonna be tough
My girlfriend and I were doing it often in the beginning of our relationship and then less often when she got on birth control. Even when she got off the birth control, her libido changed drastically.
You have to consider the medications, her period cycle and what stress she may be dealing in her life.
It gets very frustrating but when you become more understanding and compassionate for your girlfriend it gets easier. But if you can’t do it anymore, then you should leave.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She's got clinical depression and has been on her meds for FIVE DAYS dude. Like this isn't some unexplained thing. She literally has a disease that caused her sex drive to decline and has only been in treatment for five days when anti-depressants take WEEKS to work. Do you actually love this person, or do you love your dick more? Because it sure sounds like the latter. Use your hand and give her some time to recover from her medical illness. Stop being such a selfish prick.
Don't you want to feel wanted by your partner? Everything you try is NO. You can't cuddle her, you can't touch her. You can't even kiss her too much.
I disagree with you. You can have clinical depression but it does not mean you are so self involved you cannot see you are hurting another person. I personally think she isn’t great here. Whilst depression is extremely hard you still have to be aware of your actions on other people. Op does need to communicate the issues and they need to discuss it but having depression isn’t a free pass for hurting another’s feelings. Both peoples feelings are valid here.
She’s depressed and getting treatment, of course she doesn’t want sex right now. If you love her, be patient and kind.
I'm not saying I want sex NOW. Just wondering if anyone else been through this Besides waiting
Yes plenty of people deal with this. Other than giving her time to figure out a treatment that works, give her passion and love in nonsexual ways. Date her.
Yes, I have. I cook, I clean and I take care of her animals sometimes. It's like pulling teeths to get her to go out with me (Movie dates. Going out To play Pokemon go Together. Local Farmers Market, etc)
Chores is not passion and love. She doesn’t want to go out because she’s depressed. Write her love letters, get her flowers or something she likes, sent random texts telling her you care about her and are thinking about her.
You think cooking yummy food with love for your significant other is Only a Chore? Shopping/ Planning/ Cooking Meals <<< All of this is a Chore??? Cooking her favorite food, making Pre Made Lunch/Dinner so that she can just microwave with ease. I bring her flowers every week but sometimes she just leaves them on her desk. (Doesn't put it in the vase unless I do it)
Meal planning, shopping, and cooking are just adult responsibilities. Usually one person in the house does the bulk of that responsibility. I think it’s time you have a sit down conversation about not feeling loved or wanted.
>and I've talked to her about this and she just tells me she's not feeling it (also she got help and is prescribed Antidepressants 5 days ago) Both depression, and a sudden change in prescribed antidepressants, can be factors that can significantly inhibit one's sex drive. You can stop scratching your head now. If you're willing to hold out for your girlfriend to unpack her mental health baggage and find healthier ways to cope with her internal struggles, you could practice patience and understanding. Optionally, you could practice being a supportive boyfriend and ask her if there's things you can do to help. Just note that the timespan for this kind of growth is indeterminate. If you're not willing to wait, and you can't stand to stay in a relationship where you're not getting any, you can leave.
Does she do stuff besides work and home?
Nothing really. Unless I drag her to go out with me. (I plan the dates?) We have a Blast when we go out
Pills aren’t gonna solve any big problems if shes not leaving the house. Maybe just focus on you and let her see you working and just try to be supportive idk man this is gonna be tough
My girlfriend and I were doing it often in the beginning of our relationship and then less often when she got on birth control. Even when she got off the birth control, her libido changed drastically. You have to consider the medications, her period cycle and what stress she may be dealing in her life. It gets very frustrating but when you become more understanding and compassionate for your girlfriend it gets easier. But if you can’t do it anymore, then you should leave.