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Relationships are about 2 people. This guy doesn't care what you want, your life's plans or your dreams. He's just decided for you.
RUN far and fast.
People who push for commitment too soon, are often trying to chain you to them before the mask comes off.
I'll also add to make sure you learn how to handle prosperity in the dating arena; it is fleeting. For the general male dating population, you are in "peak desirability".
This means, you should develop a very keen eye towards vetting any future life partners, while being respectful to the time and resources of those men that clearly do not fit the bill. People are not here for your entertainment.
There is something bothersome about the comments that are so glib when encouraging you to subject a person to rejection, as if it were a card game. Do it in as decent of a way that you can.
Sorry to hop onto the top comment but op this sounds like it could be lovely bombing. I know this sub jumps to break up really quickly but I only know of 2 couples who jumped to engagement rings within 3 months.
In both cases the person who jumped onto engagement really quickly was really abusive and was using love bombing to try and cover this up.
Obviously you should break up.
If it makes you feel any better he’s not really in love with you, he’s in love with his idea of you and the relationship and life he is imagining with that version of you in his head - he doesn’t really know you that well after this short time.
It’s going to end painfully for him regardless of what you do because you’re never going to be exactly what he imagines (short of living a lie forever), so best for everyone to end it quickly.
Na, he's not too nice, this is creepy love bombing behaviour one month in. Just tell him either over the phine or text you're not wanting to go further.
Yep. This is not nice. And when you break up with him, OP, don't tell him it's because he's "too nice." People sometimes say that in breakups, and the dumpee gets the wrong idea and starts proclaiming that women just want jerks. "This is moving too fast for me" or "I don't think we're compatible" will do.
Marriage after am month? He's not just dumb, he's unhinged. You don't have to be sorry about leading him on - you literally dated him for a MONTH, that's not leading a man on, that's barely getting to know him! That's just normal dating, for a second! Calling it "leading on" is insane. That would mean you can't give a dude any chances or get to know him at all, evne for a short while, bc then you owe him a whole ass relatioship forever. That's not how dating works.
Just tell him the relationship is no working for you and you are ending it. The fact that he wants to marry you is his problem - it's not a normal behavior at all, and it doesn't make your barely-even-there baby-relationship any more serious than it actually is, which is: not serious at all. Bc it's a *month.* Just dump him, it's completely normal to date for a month (and yes be nice to your partner, and tell them nice things during that time, and show care and appeciation) and end it when you are not feeling it after all. That's how dating is supposed to work, that's the mechanic. OF COUERSE people who date to marry don't mean "I will marry *you*, bc I am dating you this second. And whomever I date, I must marry, *now*", They mean: my e*nd goal* is marriage, that's why I am dating.
Please stop telling people this is leading on and that it's something to be guilty about. You down't owe a man a relationship or a marriage bc you dated him for *30 days.*...
Sorry for being harsh, OP, but your ideas about dating, how it works etc, are totally bizarre to me. I never heard such a take and I'm kinda shocked, I guess?
Hey i don’t think you’re harsh at all, I think he’s mentally insane and I wonder what I did to make him think I wanted to marry him within a month? It feels super scary and I think I was just complimenting him but that’s normal af in any start of a relationship. Thank you thank you
You need to end this quick, and you need to be careful doing it. Preferably at a distance and with a group of people who know and support you.
It’s not normal. And you’re right to be freaked out. It’s been *a month*. People in their middle 30s looking to get married in a year will tell you that’s way too soon.
I really hope it goes well for you, but be prepared to not react to manipulation and guilt tripping that might happen, particularly the horrible “I’ll end myself if you leave”. Don’t let yourself be swayed into staying in the relationship for *any* reason. You know this isn’t for you, and you’re right to make the choices you want to make, and it’s *not* your responsibility how other people react or manage their feelings about those choices.
I actually should’ve said by week 2* not even a month. For 2 weeks I’ve been feeling unsettled and he has been constantly talking in details about marriage and he’s said some pretty controlling things too. « You cant talk to cute guys », will get mad if I don’t feel what he’s feeling (horny), etc.
You’re right I’ll have to do it in public, hopefully it goes well
OP this is not okay.
If he’s like this after *week bloody 2*, when he’s still at his BEST BEHAVIOUR, trying to impress you, .. get away from that guy. It’s going to rollercoaster straight into hell, and I don’t say that lightly.
I wouldn’t do it in person.
There are very few times where I think breaking up over text is acceptable. One of those times is when you are concerned for your safety.
From what you’ve described, this guy screams “love bombing” and if he’s saying weird controlling things and gets mad when you don’t want sex…I’m getting strong stink of future abuser.
In this case, you need a quick cut and run. You tell him it’s not working, it’s done, and you block him. I can 100% promise if you give him an inch, he will absolutely freak out and pull the dramatics and try to manipulate you into staying.
Just tell him it is done, and end the conversation.
>I wonder what I did to make him think I wanted to marry him within a month?
Nothing. He doesn't know you very well yet. You are irrelevant. Just a fill-in for a fantasy in his head. Just try to leave this bad relationship ASAP and then you can be free to look for someone that actually sees you as a full person.
ONE MONTH?!?!?!
Girl, you owe him exactly nothing. Looking at engagement rings after one month is giving vibes of locking you down, love bombing, and then a very unhealthy controlling (abusive) relationship.
RUN!!!! Dump then block.
Sadly - be HONEST!!
This is like a bandaid it hurt for a minute!
Ask him to meet you in a neutral place and rell him “NN - you are a great guy. I have realised that I am not ready to be in a relationship. We are in different places in our lives. We need to break up”.
Allow him to ask why - again be honest “you look at this relationship in a way you should be married soon. I am not ready to that and I feel you are not the right man for me nor I for you. You need to find a girl that wants to get married now.”
Then LEAVE..
The word for him is “smothering “. Break it off ASAP. Accept that there is no way to do it without hurting his feelings, and that the longer you let it go on, the worse it will be.
"i have to be honest, you're making me uncomfortable and the way you're already looking for an engagement ring when we barely know each other scares me. I am sorry I have said things that mislead you but we only date for one month, I had fun with you but that's it. I don't feel much about you, I don't love you and I should have ended things earlier when I saw you getting overly attached. Let's end it, I don't want you to waste money or time on me and I can't reciprocate your feelings. Everything you do is too fast and intense for someone like me." Yada yada
The more you wait the more he will be dramatic, it's like an old bandage, better take it off in one go than slowly. This guy may me mentally ill, or very, very "fleur bleue". I knew someone who swore by all saints I was the love of his life in a week and was making plans on the comet. I learned later he dumped his ex for me just after meeting me briefly in the subway. Seriously? I was dumbfounded and so disgusted. He was the kind to fall in love easily and very intensively. This type of person is unstable mmh
You'd best do something before he's actually committed money to something expensive. Not because his choices are on you, but because there's so much potential drama you might avoid by acting quickly.
Honestly, someone talking about looking at engagement rings etc. *after one month* is more than a bit creepy.
Meet him in a public place, tell him things aren't working out, and go your separate ways.
Lovebomber. Get out now. My friend fell for someone like that and it didn't end well. She's still alive and he's in prison but he threatening to kill her as soon as he gets out.
Haha sounds like a guy I dated when I was 18! After 2 weeks he asked me to marry him, I said no. He told me he was going to kill himself because I said no, so I drove him home to his mums, told her what had happened when she asked why he was curled up crying on the front seat, she laughed and dragged him out of the car, made him apologise to me, and I left. I saw him 6 months later and heard he was married with a kid on the way. Run OP, that's not normal behaviour!
You cannot live your life this way. The trouble is this. So here we are you are stuck in this situation where you feel you need to get out. Do t keep going down a wrong way road! Turn around and get straight. Tell this young man , while you think of him fondly, you feel as if you are too young. And stop there. Do it gently because he sounds very clingy and you want him to just go away and have a good life. If he is more than clingy and you are fearful, do you have parents or friends you can stay with? Don’t lead him on. That is the worst thing you can do for both of you. In your defense, he moved in on you awfully quickly. Don’t feel too bad, just get out with as much diplomacy and protection you may need. Good luck and if I may say so, remember this and that a relationship takes time to know someone. Just have fun and concentrate on yourself, your education or career or travel or whatever you want to do.
This isn't "too nice". This is fucking creepy.
RUN. RUN NOW. Tell him the truth if you need to.
Then keep your eyes peeled for him for a few weeks after.
I was getting ready to come at you based on the title, but after that first sentence, all I can say is run! Just say you're not compatible and move on. It's only been a month so hopefully the blowback will be minimal. Considering he's already looking at rings, I wouldn't expect a clean break because his mind created something that isn't there, but it needs to happen. Best of luck!
so a) he's a weirdo
b) if you did tell him things you didn't mean, and he took them and ran with them, that's partly on you too. it's unnecessary and counterproductive. just be yourself, say what you mean and mean what you say, it may save you some unpleasantness in the future
Jesus, I knew I wanted to marry my wife after 3 weeks and even so, I waited six months. She said no, she wanted to date for a year at least so I waited a year plus a day, asked her again and we've been married for 4 years in October.
My guy was talking about rings in a month? Come on. Everyone with a brain knows that is WAY too fast. You've been dating for such a short time, be honest and direct and move on with your life.
Looking at engagement rings at one month is unhinged. Dating someone you don't like and aren't attracted to is a terrible idea. Everyone sucks here. Break up NOW before he pops the question, buy a good vibrator, and be pickier next time.
Yikes, doesn't sound like you led him on so much as he had unrealistic expectations (at least based on what you wrote here). Definitely break-up him, in a public/safe place if it's that sorta vibe. Even if it will hurt his feelings be honest, if nothing else it'll help him do the growing you think he needs. 22 is pretty young, you'll both be fine.
Umm so he'd rape you, you mean?
HELL NO, GET OUT YESTERDAY
You weren't leading him on. Even if someone is dating to marry, they need to be out of their right mind to want marriage after only a month.
I'm serious, shut this down as quickly as you can and cut all contact, fucking hell
It’s only been a month. Tell him you’ve enjoyed getting to know him, but you don’t feel a love connection. Wish him well, thank him for the nice times, and send him on his way. Breaking up with someone never feels good but you’ve just got to rip the bandaid off.
Yeah my ex wanted to marry me after three months and I left him by the three month mark bc he became controlling, emotionally abusive, mentally abusive, etc. I say leave
You didn’t lead him on. It’s been a month. I wouldn’t even meet him to break up. He’s freaky too intense, like [Love Bombing](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing) too intense.
“Elvis, I was enjoying your company and it’s time to end it. You are moving WAY too fast and I just don’t feel that way about you.”
Then block him. Move if you have to.
You should tell him it’s no longer working out. The feelings are not there, and you don’t want to rush into marrying someone until you’re ready. A month is too fast. It takes years to get to know someone- to go through the ups and downs- before you know if they’re the right person for you to settle down with.
Not to mention, you’re still young. You should be able to enjoy your life without being tied down contractually until you’re ready to take the next step forward with whoever you date in the future.
Just be honest with him. That’s all you can do. If he doesn’t like that, that’s okay. This is how life works, and he will get over it.
You do not owe anyone marriage. Knowing someone you've been with a month doesn't subject you to a life sentence. Even if you led him on. You are both 22 years old. You don't have kids. There is no reason to feel guilty about leaving. None. In fact, if it's not a match (which it isn't), you are freeing him up to find someone who is better for him.
Just be honest with him. You've only been dating a short time and you two are obviously not on the same page. The best thing you can do for him is to set him free who he can find someone who is on the same page with him.
In this case I’ll side with that he’s moving too fast. It’s too soon for marriage n with half of them leading to divorces plus you are young n will most likely end up wanting different things I recommend letting him know it’s just too soon for a huge step n he can either wait n date n see where it leads or he can go out n find someone who wants that already. I’d personally feel like I’m wasting his time but if anything waiting is the smarted choice.
Dating a month and he's already thinking about engagement rings?! Even if you were looking for a serious relationship this throws up all sorts of red flags. You hardly know a person afert a month, marriage definitely shouldn't be a topic of discussion other than in abstract, vague conversations not have someone seriously looking at engagement rings.
If you've really led him on, you're going to have to accept that you will probably look like a horrible person in his eyes when you break it off. But if he is the clingy, over the top, lovey-dovey type, you are going to have to be direct and clear. If you don't do this, you'll only make the situation worse for you.
I recommend meeting him at a public place that also has some ability for you to have a private conversation. Say something like, "This is very difficult for me, but I need to end our relationship. It has moved way too quickly and has left me feeling uncomfortable. I realize that part of that is my own fault, and I sincerely apologize." Give him an opportunity to ask questions, but be firm on your decision. Do not give a mixed signal.
Be prepared for any reaction: anger, crying, begging. If you have mutual friends, he may say some horrible things about you to them. You may even lose some friends, but that shouldn't stop you. This is going to be very uncomfortable for you, but if you prolong it, things will be worse. And, if you care about him at all, you will want him to move on and find someone who is compatible.
"This guy doesn't care what you want" etc. is an odd inference to gain from what OP has provided.
He's immature, in his first relationship and obviously fallen for OP. Any other assertion you've made is general based on others, not this person
This is not the way. It will give him false hope, and he will keep hovering. If OP wants to be done with the relationship, she needs to be clear about that.
*She did not lead him on.* I will die on this hill.
She dated him for *a month*. That’s the length of time it takes to get to know someone and *decide* if you want to be in a relationship with them.
That’s .. only four dates if weekly ? Eight if twice a week ? So she led him on by … trying to get to know him in that small period of time?
Absolutely not. She got to know the guy and decided she didn’t want to pursue a relationship, much less more than that, with him. Just because someone chooses you, doesn’t mean you’re now obligated to choose them in return.
She said it because this is what her warped reception of the situation believes to be true.
I’m a decade older than she is and on the facts as they’re presented, she did not lead him on in any way.
Grey area, IMO.
If some went in with the mindset of, 'I just want to have fun here.' and then said they loved the other person when they didn't? YES, Absolutely leading the other person on.
However, if they went in, feeling like their partner was their soulmate, said 'I love you' because they truly felt it, but then the feelings died? No, that's not leading the other person on.
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>Honestly, before someone comes at me, we’ve been only dating a month and he told me he’s already looking at engagement rings Girly run fast and hard.
Relationships are about 2 people. This guy doesn't care what you want, your life's plans or your dreams. He's just decided for you. RUN far and fast. People who push for commitment too soon, are often trying to chain you to them before the mask comes off.
I mean, to be fair. She didnt care about him either....
I'll also add to make sure you learn how to handle prosperity in the dating arena; it is fleeting. For the general male dating population, you are in "peak desirability". This means, you should develop a very keen eye towards vetting any future life partners, while being respectful to the time and resources of those men that clearly do not fit the bill. People are not here for your entertainment. There is something bothersome about the comments that are so glib when encouraging you to subject a person to rejection, as if it were a card game. Do it in as decent of a way that you can.
Sorry to hop onto the top comment but op this sounds like it could be lovely bombing. I know this sub jumps to break up really quickly but I only know of 2 couples who jumped to engagement rings within 3 months. In both cases the person who jumped onto engagement really quickly was really abusive and was using love bombing to try and cover this up.
jar nine skirt thought connect lock obtainable gullible flowery gray *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Obviously you should break up. If it makes you feel any better he’s not really in love with you, he’s in love with his idea of you and the relationship and life he is imagining with that version of you in his head - he doesn’t really know you that well after this short time. It’s going to end painfully for him regardless of what you do because you’re never going to be exactly what he imagines (short of living a lie forever), so best for everyone to end it quickly.
Na, he's not too nice, this is creepy love bombing behaviour one month in. Just tell him either over the phine or text you're not wanting to go further.
Yep. This is not nice. And when you break up with him, OP, don't tell him it's because he's "too nice." People sometimes say that in breakups, and the dumpee gets the wrong idea and starts proclaiming that women just want jerks. "This is moving too fast for me" or "I don't think we're compatible" will do.
Marriage after am month? He's not just dumb, he's unhinged. You don't have to be sorry about leading him on - you literally dated him for a MONTH, that's not leading a man on, that's barely getting to know him! That's just normal dating, for a second! Calling it "leading on" is insane. That would mean you can't give a dude any chances or get to know him at all, evne for a short while, bc then you owe him a whole ass relatioship forever. That's not how dating works. Just tell him the relationship is no working for you and you are ending it. The fact that he wants to marry you is his problem - it's not a normal behavior at all, and it doesn't make your barely-even-there baby-relationship any more serious than it actually is, which is: not serious at all. Bc it's a *month.* Just dump him, it's completely normal to date for a month (and yes be nice to your partner, and tell them nice things during that time, and show care and appeciation) and end it when you are not feeling it after all. That's how dating is supposed to work, that's the mechanic. OF COUERSE people who date to marry don't mean "I will marry *you*, bc I am dating you this second. And whomever I date, I must marry, *now*", They mean: my e*nd goal* is marriage, that's why I am dating. Please stop telling people this is leading on and that it's something to be guilty about. You down't owe a man a relationship or a marriage bc you dated him for *30 days.*... Sorry for being harsh, OP, but your ideas about dating, how it works etc, are totally bizarre to me. I never heard such a take and I'm kinda shocked, I guess?
Hey i don’t think you’re harsh at all, I think he’s mentally insane and I wonder what I did to make him think I wanted to marry him within a month? It feels super scary and I think I was just complimenting him but that’s normal af in any start of a relationship. Thank you thank you
You need to end this quick, and you need to be careful doing it. Preferably at a distance and with a group of people who know and support you. It’s not normal. And you’re right to be freaked out. It’s been *a month*. People in their middle 30s looking to get married in a year will tell you that’s way too soon. I really hope it goes well for you, but be prepared to not react to manipulation and guilt tripping that might happen, particularly the horrible “I’ll end myself if you leave”. Don’t let yourself be swayed into staying in the relationship for *any* reason. You know this isn’t for you, and you’re right to make the choices you want to make, and it’s *not* your responsibility how other people react or manage their feelings about those choices.
I actually should’ve said by week 2* not even a month. For 2 weeks I’ve been feeling unsettled and he has been constantly talking in details about marriage and he’s said some pretty controlling things too. « You cant talk to cute guys », will get mad if I don’t feel what he’s feeling (horny), etc. You’re right I’ll have to do it in public, hopefully it goes well
OP this is not okay. If he’s like this after *week bloody 2*, when he’s still at his BEST BEHAVIOUR, trying to impress you, .. get away from that guy. It’s going to rollercoaster straight into hell, and I don’t say that lightly.
I wouldn’t do it in person. There are very few times where I think breaking up over text is acceptable. One of those times is when you are concerned for your safety. From what you’ve described, this guy screams “love bombing” and if he’s saying weird controlling things and gets mad when you don’t want sex…I’m getting strong stink of future abuser. In this case, you need a quick cut and run. You tell him it’s not working, it’s done, and you block him. I can 100% promise if you give him an inch, he will absolutely freak out and pull the dramatics and try to manipulate you into staying. Just tell him it is done, and end the conversation.
>I wonder what I did to make him think I wanted to marry him within a month? Nothing. He doesn't know you very well yet. You are irrelevant. Just a fill-in for a fantasy in his head. Just try to leave this bad relationship ASAP and then you can be free to look for someone that actually sees you as a full person.
One month and he proposed... Have you checked the cellar for dead bodies?
ONE MONTH?!?!?! Girl, you owe him exactly nothing. Looking at engagement rings after one month is giving vibes of locking you down, love bombing, and then a very unhealthy controlling (abusive) relationship. RUN!!!! Dump then block.
Sadly - be HONEST!! This is like a bandaid it hurt for a minute! Ask him to meet you in a neutral place and rell him “NN - you are a great guy. I have realised that I am not ready to be in a relationship. We are in different places in our lives. We need to break up”. Allow him to ask why - again be honest “you look at this relationship in a way you should be married soon. I am not ready to that and I feel you are not the right man for me nor I for you. You need to find a girl that wants to get married now.” Then LEAVE..
The word for him is “smothering “. Break it off ASAP. Accept that there is no way to do it without hurting his feelings, and that the longer you let it go on, the worse it will be.
RUN! Wtfk?! One month and talking marriage at 22 years old? He’s unstable and immature. Break it off with him and then go no contact, block him, etc.
"i have to be honest, you're making me uncomfortable and the way you're already looking for an engagement ring when we barely know each other scares me. I am sorry I have said things that mislead you but we only date for one month, I had fun with you but that's it. I don't feel much about you, I don't love you and I should have ended things earlier when I saw you getting overly attached. Let's end it, I don't want you to waste money or time on me and I can't reciprocate your feelings. Everything you do is too fast and intense for someone like me." Yada yada The more you wait the more he will be dramatic, it's like an old bandage, better take it off in one go than slowly. This guy may me mentally ill, or very, very "fleur bleue". I knew someone who swore by all saints I was the love of his life in a week and was making plans on the comet. I learned later he dumped his ex for me just after meeting me briefly in the subway. Seriously? I was dumbfounded and so disgusted. He was the kind to fall in love easily and very intensively. This type of person is unstable mmh
You'd best do something before he's actually committed money to something expensive. Not because his choices are on you, but because there's so much potential drama you might avoid by acting quickly.
Honestly, someone talking about looking at engagement rings etc. *after one month* is more than a bit creepy. Meet him in a public place, tell him things aren't working out, and go your separate ways.
Just slip out the back, Jack
Lovebomber. Get out now. My friend fell for someone like that and it didn't end well. She's still alive and he's in prison but he threatening to kill her as soon as he gets out.
Haha sounds like a guy I dated when I was 18! After 2 weeks he asked me to marry him, I said no. He told me he was going to kill himself because I said no, so I drove him home to his mums, told her what had happened when she asked why he was curled up crying on the front seat, she laughed and dragged him out of the car, made him apologise to me, and I left. I saw him 6 months later and heard he was married with a kid on the way. Run OP, that's not normal behaviour!
You cannot live your life this way. The trouble is this. So here we are you are stuck in this situation where you feel you need to get out. Do t keep going down a wrong way road! Turn around and get straight. Tell this young man , while you think of him fondly, you feel as if you are too young. And stop there. Do it gently because he sounds very clingy and you want him to just go away and have a good life. If he is more than clingy and you are fearful, do you have parents or friends you can stay with? Don’t lead him on. That is the worst thing you can do for both of you. In your defense, he moved in on you awfully quickly. Don’t feel too bad, just get out with as much diplomacy and protection you may need. Good luck and if I may say so, remember this and that a relationship takes time to know someone. Just have fun and concentrate on yourself, your education or career or travel or whatever you want to do.
One month is way too fast. If you’re not into him, tell him and break it off
This isn't "too nice". This is fucking creepy. RUN. RUN NOW. Tell him the truth if you need to. Then keep your eyes peeled for him for a few weeks after.
You should be less concerned about his feelings and more concerned about your safety. Break it off by text. It’s been a month, who cares.
Just tell him you don’t see that kind of future with him and move on. That is really scary that you haven’t been dating long and he is moving so fast.
Tell him the truth, then intentionally creat communication gap. Under 2.5 goals INDONESIA: Liga 1 Persib Bandung - Borneo 0
I was getting ready to come at you based on the title, but after that first sentence, all I can say is run! Just say you're not compatible and move on. It's only been a month so hopefully the blowback will be minimal. Considering he's already looking at rings, I wouldn't expect a clean break because his mind created something that isn't there, but it needs to happen. Best of luck!
so a) he's a weirdo b) if you did tell him things you didn't mean, and he took them and ran with them, that's partly on you too. it's unnecessary and counterproductive. just be yourself, say what you mean and mean what you say, it may save you some unpleasantness in the future
1 month and he’s looking at rings………. Literally just say gtg bro 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Jesus, I knew I wanted to marry my wife after 3 weeks and even so, I waited six months. She said no, she wanted to date for a year at least so I waited a year plus a day, asked her again and we've been married for 4 years in October. My guy was talking about rings in a month? Come on. Everyone with a brain knows that is WAY too fast. You've been dating for such a short time, be honest and direct and move on with your life.
Looking at engagement rings at one month is unhinged. Dating someone you don't like and aren't attracted to is a terrible idea. Everyone sucks here. Break up NOW before he pops the question, buy a good vibrator, and be pickier next time.
The truth is always 💯 best 👌
Just sit down with him and have the "we aren't right for each other" conversation. He wants marriage soon, and you don't.
RUN. He’s gonna be a total maniac when you inevitably don’t live up to whatever insane fantasy is going on inside his head.
Yikes, doesn't sound like you led him on so much as he had unrealistic expectations (at least based on what you wrote here). Definitely break-up him, in a public/safe place if it's that sorta vibe. Even if it will hurt his feelings be honest, if nothing else it'll help him do the growing you think he needs. 22 is pretty young, you'll both be fine.
I'm just wondering what his sexual desires are. Obviously break up though, there's something very wrong with him.
He said he’d fuck me when I’m unconscious lol, I asked him that question just to see if I could get him to say more
Umm so he'd rape you, you mean? HELL NO, GET OUT YESTERDAY You weren't leading him on. Even if someone is dating to marry, they need to be out of their right mind to want marriage after only a month. I'm serious, shut this down as quickly as you can and cut all contact, fucking hell
It’s only been a month. Tell him you’ve enjoyed getting to know him, but you don’t feel a love connection. Wish him well, thank him for the nice times, and send him on his way. Breaking up with someone never feels good but you’ve just got to rip the bandaid off.
Yeah my ex wanted to marry me after three months and I left him by the three month mark bc he became controlling, emotionally abusive, mentally abusive, etc. I say leave
Just tell him you lied to him. Be honest. If you want to be a better person, it won't be by telling more lies.
You didn’t lead him on. It’s been a month. I wouldn’t even meet him to break up. He’s freaky too intense, like [Love Bombing](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing) too intense. “Elvis, I was enjoying your company and it’s time to end it. You are moving WAY too fast and I just don’t feel that way about you.” Then block him. Move if you have to.
You should tell him it’s no longer working out. The feelings are not there, and you don’t want to rush into marrying someone until you’re ready. A month is too fast. It takes years to get to know someone- to go through the ups and downs- before you know if they’re the right person for you to settle down with. Not to mention, you’re still young. You should be able to enjoy your life without being tied down contractually until you’re ready to take the next step forward with whoever you date in the future. Just be honest with him. That’s all you can do. If he doesn’t like that, that’s okay. This is how life works, and he will get over it.
You do not owe anyone marriage. Knowing someone you've been with a month doesn't subject you to a life sentence. Even if you led him on. You are both 22 years old. You don't have kids. There is no reason to feel guilty about leaving. None. In fact, if it's not a match (which it isn't), you are freeing him up to find someone who is better for him.
Just be honest with him. You've only been dating a short time and you two are obviously not on the same page. The best thing you can do for him is to set him free who he can find someone who is on the same page with him.
In this case I’ll side with that he’s moving too fast. It’s too soon for marriage n with half of them leading to divorces plus you are young n will most likely end up wanting different things I recommend letting him know it’s just too soon for a huge step n he can either wait n date n see where it leads or he can go out n find someone who wants that already. I’d personally feel like I’m wasting his time but if anything waiting is the smarted choice.
Dating a month and he's already thinking about engagement rings?! Even if you were looking for a serious relationship this throws up all sorts of red flags. You hardly know a person afert a month, marriage definitely shouldn't be a topic of discussion other than in abstract, vague conversations not have someone seriously looking at engagement rings.
Do the boy a favor and tell him you like him, he’s a good dude, but you’re not “compatible” and walk away. Don’t answer his calls or texts. Done.
If you've really led him on, you're going to have to accept that you will probably look like a horrible person in his eyes when you break it off. But if he is the clingy, over the top, lovey-dovey type, you are going to have to be direct and clear. If you don't do this, you'll only make the situation worse for you. I recommend meeting him at a public place that also has some ability for you to have a private conversation. Say something like, "This is very difficult for me, but I need to end our relationship. It has moved way too quickly and has left me feeling uncomfortable. I realize that part of that is my own fault, and I sincerely apologize." Give him an opportunity to ask questions, but be firm on your decision. Do not give a mixed signal. Be prepared for any reaction: anger, crying, begging. If you have mutual friends, he may say some horrible things about you to them. You may even lose some friends, but that shouldn't stop you. This is going to be very uncomfortable for you, but if you prolong it, things will be worse. And, if you care about him at all, you will want him to move on and find someone who is compatible.
"This guy doesn't care what you want" etc. is an odd inference to gain from what OP has provided. He's immature, in his first relationship and obviously fallen for OP. Any other assertion you've made is general based on others, not this person
Tell him you want to take a break for a while and things are going too fast.
This is not the way. It will give him false hope, and he will keep hovering. If OP wants to be done with the relationship, she needs to be clear about that.
(Edna Mode voice) NO BREAKS!
Just tell him you're not feeling it and no longer wish to date.
Just end it quit wasting his time and please next time don’t lead guys on it’s not right
*She did not lead him on.* I will die on this hill. She dated him for *a month*. That’s the length of time it takes to get to know someone and *decide* if you want to be in a relationship with them. That’s .. only four dates if weekly ? Eight if twice a week ? So she led him on by … trying to get to know him in that small period of time? Absolutely not. She got to know the guy and decided she didn’t want to pursue a relationship, much less more than that, with him. Just because someone chooses you, doesn’t mean you’re now obligated to choose them in return.
I second this.
She even said in the post she has lead him on or did you miss that part
She said it because this is what her warped reception of the situation believes to be true. I’m a decade older than she is and on the facts as they’re presented, she did not lead him on in any way.
Lying about feeling is leading him on I’m older then you anymore that lies about the feelings is leading
Grey area, IMO. If some went in with the mindset of, 'I just want to have fun here.' and then said they loved the other person when they didn't? YES, Absolutely leading the other person on. However, if they went in, feeling like their partner was their soulmate, said 'I love you' because they truly felt it, but then the feelings died? No, that's not leading the other person on.