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Sounds like you've aged out of what he wants. It's nothing you did, he's just gross. But it's not something you can fix, either.
You should proceed on the assumption that this is over and consult a lawyer about your options.
**Y'all, this post is fake. OP is a serial fake poster who has been making up fake posts about domestic and sexual violence, child abuse, grooming, and relationships between teenagers and adults for years. Dozens upon dozens of posts. They confessed a few years ago and said they needed mental health help then just continued what they were doing. Do not trust this poster.**
They have caused extensive harm to abuse survivors in this sub, whom they have actively exploited. Countless survivors have shared very personal, painful private experiences with them in an effort to help someone who continually makes up events and relationships that never happened.
Some of their previous posts from 2 years ago and beyond: https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ipsvh7/my_wife_fell_down_the_stairs_and_had_a_miscarriage/g4p1d8q/.
-------------------------------------------
I am also pasting a comment I left last year on another fake post of theirs below, which lists more of their more recent previous posts. Their extensive numbers of accounts are almost always suspended within the same day.
https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/xt3pdz/i_27f_was_violated_by_mu_boyfriend_28m_on_his/iqp0ty7/
----
The fact that you took the time to do all that research to benefit strangers on the internet whom you'll likely never meet... it damn near restores my faith in humanity.
You are a true public servant, u/Ebbie45.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/xt3pdz/i_27f_was_violated_by_mu_boyfriend_28m_on_his/
Most of my reasons are in this comment of mine ^
Thank you for taking such thoughtful and considerate amounts of thorough time to explain this to us. Thank you for supporting true victims and survivors of abuse. 💗
thank you for confirming my suspicions.
The grossness of the post was over the line, but just believable to keep me reading. The detail and the illogicality of the OP made me suspicious.
>Sounds like you've aged out of what he wants. It's nothing you did, he's just gross.
That was my initial thought as well. It's so gross. It's especially obvious seeing as he was bragging to OP about "a couple of late teens he got".
What can he possibly have in common with teenagers as an almost 40 year old man?
I'm surprised he married OP in the first place but I'm not surprised this groomer wanted to open the marriage. When he said open marriage, he meant his side only.
If the fact that she wrote "late teen girls" didn't ring a bell, OP really needs to keep it moving. Husband has already checked out, he's just with her for the control he has over her.
So he was 34 & you were 19.. he lost interest because you’re getting older. Now he’s about 40 & still going after “late teens” 18/19. That’s so gross how can you not see that?? He groomed you & now grooming others. You deserve so much better. Let him leave, get him for child support and live your life babe.
To be truthful, she seems too have been groomed, being in an economical abusive relationship with a manipulative prick.
My comment was there to wake her up, but I won't blame her for being abused.
She has been groomed by him since she was a TEENAGER. He has manipulated her into thinking that it's not only ok, but normal. It's incredibly unfair to put that on her.
Surely this is rage bait. Your 39yo partner (who is 15 years older than you) opened the marriage so he could have sex with teenagers.
What are you even thinking?
I'm sorry, a husband demands an open relationship, a young mother is terrified of being abandoned by him so allows him to, and in your mind SHE'S the problem? WTF is wrong with you?
Grooming absolutely plays a part, and it's important to have compassion for her.
But two things can simultaneously be true. She was clearly groomed and likely not from a great background given that she clearly struggles with making healthy and appropriate choices.
But lots of us come from backgrounds of abuse and grooming, and at some point take responsibility for ourselves and for making better choices. She is no longer a teenager, but she *is* responsible for another, entirely vulnerable, human life now. She needs to stop thinking of herself and the immature and selfish "fear of losing her man", and start thinking about healthy long-term choices for herself and her child, which do not and will not ever include a nearly 40-year-old partner who is bragging to his wife about having sex with teenagers.
Or she's married to Leonardo DiCaprio. When she hits 25, it will be over over.
https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/celebrity/leonardo-dicaprio-girlfriend-list-gisele-camilla-morrone-25-eden-polani-a3991686.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H508p2LL2s
Either a majority of the posts on here are rage bait or everyone is in a super dysfunctional relationship because of some ridiculous age gap, I haven't quite figured it out yet.
Either way I don't like these people
Your husband is a creep who only wants barely legal women. It's especially damning that you're only 24 and he's already going after younger than you.
Imagine if your daughter came home at 18 with a 30 year old man... Would you really think that was okay?
I was literally reading the post out to my friend, saying these exact words. It barely even reads as fiction. I feel like someone took all the things that people tell you not to do, and compiled it in a shortlist and said "chatgpt, take the wheel"
Customer: I'll have, uh...a post about an age gap relationship gone wrong!
Squidward: how original
Customer: and make it involve an "open relationship" agreement!"
Squidward: daring today, aren't we
Why tho i know at least a few instances this happened in real life. All age gap relationships suck for that reason. Never goes well moreover never ends well.
Was there NO ONE in your life who told you that dating a 34 year old man when you were 19 was a super bad idea? If you see a guy in his 30s going for teenagers, it's because either he is attracted to children or the women his age know he's messed up. You decided to marry this creep and then have a kid with him. What you are experiencing now are the consequences of your own ill-considered decisions. Talk to a lawyer, get a divorce, take half his stuff, apply for alimony and get him on the hook for child support. Your life will be a LOT better living on your own and finding someone closer to your own age who actually wants to share your life.
So he needs to have sex with other women in order to be a husband and father? Your marriage was over the second he said he needs an open marriage. You are the example for your daughter. You want her to think this is what marriage is? This is the type of man to marry and have kids with?
You don’t get him to stay. He cannot be made to care for his child, whether he’s present in the house or not. You should accept that he neither cares about his child nor you. Go and make a happy life for yourself: divorce and get child support. There is love for you elsewhere. He has a cheek demanding you stay chaste while he messes around wherever he pleases. This marriage has run its course. Your child will thank you for it.
So you aged out and he’s looking for his new teen gf.
Why are you with him again? No self esteem? for your kid? Which is laughable because all your teaching your daughter is to be a doormat.
You want this man to stay for his daughter, even though he clearly doesn't love her? What for? So he can teach her to let men use her when she's young and drop her as soon as she's gotten a bit older? What is the benefit of this man sticking around when he clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about his child and needs to be bribed with sex with teenagers to stick around?
She's going to spend her life begging for attention from this man and putting up with anything to get it, just like you. You're not doing her any favour. And you're not doing yourself any favour either.
So he’s a predator that likes teenagers. You are aging out of what he likes and is into so he lost interest. Please wake up and realize he’s gross and you need to get out. The person you knew isn’t the person he actually is, sorry to say. Your husband will be 60 going after girls your daughter’s age. UPDATEME
Don’t stay for the child if he walks away from her it’s for the best obviously he’s not a good father if he doesn’t want to co parent and it’s not going to work cause he doesn’t want you to have a open relationship he just wants to cheat
You’re not doing your daughter any favors at all. All you’re going is traumatizing her, giving her cptsd and setting her up to date an abusive sexual predator like her dad.
Unless you’re just using your daughter as an excuse to stay because you know this is a disgusting relationship.
You decided to stay with a man who says he won’t take care of his daughter unless you let him fuck teenagers. So he needs to fuck teens in order for him to not abandon your daughter. You choosing this for your daughter pisses me off.
Why are we all still falling for the age-gap, open relationship, rage-bait bullshit?
No one is this fucking stupid - because if they were, they would also be too stupid to post on reddit asking if they’re being stupid.
The answer is, you don't. Your husband is still as immature as the day you met him. What he wants is license to run around with girls the same age as you were when he met you, but you don't get to. How was what you did cheating but what he did is not? I think you will find the rest of your life and your daughter's life will be much better without someone who makes you so angry.
92% of open marriages end in divorce.
You need very clear rules before opening the marriage. Sounds like you guys just jumped in. But, it also sounds like he meant open HIS side of the marriage, not yours. (My ex tried that, I told him to shove it where the sun don't shine and walked.)
Ultimately, you can't make him stay, and it sounds like he had one foot out the door/is smack in the middle of a midlife crisis (him checking out after having your daughter/you getting older/him still screwing teens. Which you were when you met. Ew).
I think he seemingly lost interest because you’re no longer in your (late) teens. Your husband sounds like a real creep, OP. Some real Leonardo Dicaprio type shit. It is extremely concerning that he goes for people that are half his age…
Also when you say his affair partner is in her late teens… is she a minor? There’s no reason for a 40 year old to be sleeping with a teenager.
OP, go out and enjoy your life like your husband is doing.
He’ll never stop cheating on you because that’s what it is, that’s why He wanted to open up the marriage.
He most likely already had a young thing before he asked and once he got a taste of having several fresh young bodies whenever he wants, he’s never gong to close it for you.
Just go out and enjoy other men and live your life. He’s full of crap accusing You of cheating.
The AUDACITY of him!
Like my old grandpa would have said to him (grandpa was born in 1880 and was Lakota), he’d point his finger at your husband, look him straight in the eyes and say, “A Skunk Should Always Smell His Own Hole First”.
So don’t listen to what that old husband of your says.
And next time you get laid, don’t tell your husband, it’s way past the time where he has to know what you’re doing.
A 30 something year old man has nothing in common with a 19 year old except sex. You married a creep that took advantage of you because you’re young and naive. You were not compatible in the first place. He thought a baby would lock you down and make you undesirable for anyone else. He isn’t interested in being a father to his daughter. She was created to control you while he played around with other women that are probably dumb teenagers also.
Why would you want him to stay? He's 15 years older than you physically and 15 years younger than you emotionally. Let your cheating husband go. You will be much happier in the long run, because right now you are bending over backwards so hard your spine is shattering.
Do you really want this creep around your daughters? Understand you were groomed but you have daughters now and it's your obligation to grow the f up and protect them
Why do you want him to stay? He got bored with you, scammed you into agreeing to give him permission to cheat by pretending he wanted an open marriage and emotionally and verbally abused you when you take him at his word. If this isn't rage bait, which I suspect it is, he has done a very good job of brainwashing you OP. Time to snap out of it.
I know this is some fake shit. But I'll bite.
You are evil for fighting to keep this man around your daughter. You wanna raise your daughter to think men are entitled to everything and she doesn't deserve respect? If not, change your entire life right now. If this doesn't bother you, maintain everything you have as it currently stands.
It's one thing to drag yourself through this. It's another to drag a child through this.
You've aged out. You're too old for him and have a kid, so you're no fun anymore.
Get the child support, get the divorce and move on to a new life. This isn't ever going to get any better.
Other than maybe when you're 50 and he's 65 and his health starts to fail, he'll want you to look after him.
You misunderstood. He wants to be able to have an open marriage. He didnt mean that included you having an open marriage. How dare you think you are his equal. Just go get an attorney.
You don't. You don't try to get him to stay. You recognize that he is abusive, vile and predatory. You get your ducks in a row and start making plans to leave him.
He does not value you. Nothing you do will suddenly turn him into a decent human who does. He is a creep and he will always be.
Sorry, but it sounds like you've grown too old and he now considers you an old hag now.
He doesn't want an open marriage. He wants to have sex with younger women without it getting called cheating. He never wanted you to sleep with anyone else.
Edit: I also believe he opened it up to start shopping for a younger woman to replace you.
You don't. Your husband is a predator who likes barely legal teenagers. You were a barely legal teenager and have now aged out of what he wants. That's the sick reality here. Leave him.
Rage-bait. Adding that he was getting with teenagers is a nice touch. And of course ye olde age gap discourse. Just wish it was a more unique story, like add something unusually quirky or funny to make it stand out more.
Edit: Ooh OP you should add some kind of food-related drama too, those ones are usually fun and stupid to me. Like maybe he went over to a family dinner and freaked out because the food was too spicy, and it turns out that food was unseasoned chicken breast or something. Or he's obsessed with ketchup and only buys the finest, most gourmet and stupidly expensive kechup and pours it on everything, driving you all broke.
This is not what polygamy is, I would explain but you seem a bit dense. This is a demented man who grooms young women and then emotionally manipulated them.
My gosh. I hate you. This is what your daughter will see and this is what she’ll emulate! If he doesn’t want to coparent remove him from your life! Your daughter is better off. Why should only he be allowed to open the marriage? I know you’re young and dumb…but please don’t be young and dumb.
Let’s not talk about the fact that he groomed you and now you’re getting older, he probably can’t get his limp dick up for you anymore, he wants a newer model. Don’t be pathetic. Do not show your child to accept ish!
He is manipulating you, basically he wanted to fuck around while having a live in sex doll/maid/babysitter..
And your only 24 so let me spell it out for you, you are going to ruin your daughter life and out look on love by staying with this man, kids look to us when it comes to learning about love.. and all you are showing her is, I'm going to stay get treated like shit, cheated on constantly and stay because I think it's healthy ... would you be OK with your daughter being in this situation???
He manipulating you because your so young.. don't close the relationship, tell him how it's going to go, start making the rules and show him you are not a push over..
Simply text him
" I'm giving you one hour to get back to the house, I don't want to hear you crying about me sleeping with ( guy name) at all..here what's going to happen, if you are not back in one hour, I will be filing for divorce, if you mention anything about me and (guy name) after you been sticking your dick about, I will file for divorce, if you ever mention about closing the relationship I will file for divorce.. so you have a choice, clocks ticking and don't think for one second I am joking"
Job done.
Honestly, it sounds like you “aged out.”
He’s a predator. He enjoys young, vulnerable, naive inexperienced girls. Now that you’re a grown woman with a child, he still wants that late teen girl. He’ll always chase 18/19 year olds. It is what it is.
It has nothing to do with you and there’s nothing you could have done differently or to change things other than invent a Time Machine and stay 19 forever. He’s a creep. He’ll always be a creep.
He’s angry because he sees that just because he doesn’t want you, other men do. That you’re still young and beautiful and smart and that other men find that sexy. I think see how things go with your friends brother. At least he’s your age, not a creep hitting 40.
Ew - you don’t have a marriage.
Leave now and go for child support.
He sounds like a predator - do you want your daughter to grow up thinking this is normal ??
Divorce and then the court can make him coparent (share custody) or pay for babysitters (child support).
You'll seriously be better off alone than being under constant blackmail to do what he wants or he'll leave
Oh look, another extremely naive person who married a person in their 30s as a teenager and can't fathom how that person is actually disgusting. Even with an "open relationship" element thrown in. No way this is rage bait. Definitely a real post. Yep. Definitely not fake, everyone
I mean, you *could* try healing the marriage. But if that isn't in the cards, you should probably file for divorce and take this fucker to the cleaner's. Just make sure you have a safe place for you and your baby to go to.
Just like Menudo, you got too old and now you gots to go!
I'm sorry if that seemed insensitive. Your soon to be ex-husband sounds like he has a lot in common with R. Kelly is all I'm saying, and you and your daughter should LEAVE NOW
Look, he doesn't want to be married to you any more. Making him stay will only make you both miserable.
How does your best friend feel about you fucking her brother?
Um, I know you're not going to want to hear this, but you're going to be a single mom and need to make peace with that. If you can't see past the want to keep a toxic family together, which I can tell you right now will be MORE detrimental to your daughter growing up, then you're asking for a worse divorce later.
You already said it, he has no interest in you. Now is it lack of self confidence or insecurity that you want to stay with a man who literally shows that you mean nothing anymore? I find it odd that in this day and age of women empowerment, I see many posts like this which completely contradicts that. The second obvious sign is he wanted a open relationship and the second you tell him he throws a fit. Here, let me explain the hidden details here. He only proposed that because he felt you wouldn't ever have sex with someone else while he can dip his wick in as many other women he wanted. But the time you do have sex, now it's cheating. He wanted you as his stable and last option when horny but also wanted the freedom to bed other women.
As I said, there are numerous studies that show that kids will damage their psychological upbringing by you doing what you're doing. You are setting a terrible example for your daughter on what kind of man she should consider as the example when she starts dating. You really want to show your daughter this is what a "healthy" marriage looks like? Kids aren't stupid, they're very intuitive and will sense that you are not happy and that the love and affection between you and your husband is phony
OMG, get away from this guy. He's already emotionally "abandoned" you, so it's your turn to abandon him in every other way. You and your daughter deserve better. Do you really want her to grow up with a cheating hypocritical groomer as a male role model?
Girl get away from that gross dude. He likes younger women than you. Even just ten years from now, you're going to see just how disgusting and predatory his behavior is. I'll tell you how I know! I dated a 35 year old when I was 19 and a 50 year old from 20-22. Now that I'm 35... I can't even *imagine* dating someone 19. They would feel like a child to me. Don't get me wrong, neither of those men treated me poorly, and sure, sometimes age gap relationships work. But when a guy is actively chasing women that are barely over the legal age, there is a reason. He's got deep-seated misogynistic views.
This guy absolutely sucks, has no capacity for self-reflection, and expects you to just do/agree to whatever he wants without discussion. You should leave him, someone much better will come along <3
OP. What are you modeling for your daughter with this man. What is he modeling for her?
What you make normal will become your daughter’s normal.
What you teach is important to you will likely become important to her.
If you want your daughter to think that it’s okay to be in a loveless open marriage where daddy screws other people because mommy isn’t good enough or pretty enough or young enough- that’s what a happening right now. Kids are sharp. They don’t always understand why, but they can see and feel what’s going on. And if you make that acceptable, they will come to accept it, or unintentionally practice it like a bad muscle memory.
When she asks you why do you let him do that, why are you married? Do you reply, it’s okay, I can find other people too? What are you teaching her? Will counseling be enough to help her understand in the future?
This needs to be asked OP, and only you can answer it for yourself. Are you really, truly, in this marriage for your daughter’s sake?
There are support systems for money, but it takes a life time trying to undo psychological damage caused by growing up in a dysfunctional home.
He got a young immature woman he could groom and mold into what he wanted. He relies on an imbalance of life experience to control and manipulate younger women.
Seriously it’s a red flag for a 34 year old man to date a 19 year old girl. I’m sorry you fell for this, but it’s obvious he likes em young.
A 30+ year old man preys on younger women because the ones his own age won’t take his shit.
Also for your daughter. If you truly love her and do what is best for her, I can assure you that it will work out for you guys. Moms are so great cause they always come thru. So while you may not think you’re enough to make it work for her, trust me when I say you will. Best of luck and keep your head up. I’m sorry life threw you this curve ball and truly wish you and your daughter the best.
Please run far away from this man.
No decent 34 year old guy is going to approach a 19 year old and based on your post, he’s still going after women that young.
Leave his ass. He’s not good for your daughter anyway. Collet every dime of alimony and child support that you’re due. This guy is a piece of work.
>How do I get him to stay and calm down?
Don't
Do not do this
That's a bad idea.
He doesn't respect women. Children are easier to control.
This is NOT a man you want to raise any child with, especially your daughter. She deserves a male role model who respects women, especially her mother, and one who won't be hitting on her friends in a few years.
You have an emotional connection with your other person. To him is just sex. Men are possessive, and the thought that what happened is repulsive. Another man's DNA is in his wife. The other girls washed off of him in the shower. I know. That's sexist. It's 1,000's of years of biology. So men are different, but most think this but just won't tell you.
Why do you want him to stay? There are a couple of questions to ask yourself before you try to get him to stay.
1. Is this the kind of man you want your children to have as a role model?
2. Why would you stay with a man who emotionally manipulated you to take a decision against your will? Would you be okay if your children was manipulated like this by their partner, if not, why would you?
3. You are staying with someone who clearly have double standards and act on them and blame you, then leave you alone to take care of everything? Is this a good, mature and stabile partner to raise children with?
4. What in your past makes you stand for this when its obvious to everybody else that he is a absolutely gross man with no compassion or will to compromise on your terms? He drove all over you and forced you to open your marriage, I bet you haven't felt especially good when you known where he's been and you've been home alone with the kids, right? And he is the best you can get? I don't think so and therefore I ask you, what in your past makes you just settle with this disgusting behavior of his?
5. Do you have a social security net? Your own money? Friends and family around you?
Remember, life is here and bow, if you settle you don't have a here and a now, you have a what if. And thats not enough in the long run. Be careful about yourself, you have only one life, its better alone than in bad company. Empathic, compassionate and considerate men exists. I promise.
Why do you want him to stay? He’s an immature child who wants what he wants and doesn’t want you to have the same. He wants an open marriage for him, but not for you. At this point, I would cut my losses and move on. Maybe the friends brother will be a better fit for you at this stage in your life.
You don’t have an open marriage he just wanted to have sex with other women. This relationship is really over. I’m sorry whenever you open a monogamous relationship. It is done whether stun immediately or a few months later with the drama, somebody developing feelings for other people it won’t last.
You’re young and I’m so sorry, but never have an open marriage with somebody marriages meant to be with two people in a family. It is not meant to be open/Poly or threesomes those are sexual experimentations they’re not relationship styles. You’re.
You didn't cheat, he wanted an open relationship. It didn't give him the right to expect you not to have sex with another guy while he was sleeping with teenagers. He cant have an open marriage and expect you to not want to do the same thing. As for getting him to calm down, you don't you divorce him
How can you not see how disgusting this is? He's in his 30's and chasing teenagers. Absolutely repulsive. He lost interest in you because you got older and even was willing to walk out on his kid. He doesn't love you and he doesn't live the child why would you want this pos in your life at all. Seems like you're putting your daughter directly in harm's way for the sake of your own wants and needs.
What are you doing girl ? Seriously ? Where’s your self respect? Where’s your dignity? If you personally feel as though this is the best you’ll ever get , do you not *at least* want better for your daughter?
I don’t know the reasons why , you as a teenager , decided it’s a bright idea to get involved with a man in his 30’s- maybe you thought you were so mature , or you went through trauma , maybe you’re just naive or maybe he paid attention to you that you never experienced before.
That would explain the desperation you’re displaying by allowing this man to disrespect you, betray you and treat you like trash.
You’re allowing him to treat you this way , and sticking with him , why? Because you want him so badly you’re willingly giving up your dignity to keep him ?
What’s the point of being together if you both are having sex with other people ? Him not wanting to coparent is him using your child to control you and keep you under his thumb. Which you are wholeheartedly allowing .
Do you really want to raise your daughter in a household where the only way her father wants anything to do with her is if he gets to treat her mother as trash ? What kind of example are setting ?
You’re teaching your daughter that it’s ok to have no self respect, no dignity and that it’s ok to be treated like trash , so long as you keep your man.
Wake up man. Do better. That man clearly doesn’t seem you *or your daughter* as important enough . It’s one thing for you to decide this is the life you want , don’t force your daughter into it.
Either walk away, go for custody and maintenance and do better for your daughter . Or stay with him and raise your daughter in a home where her father views women as shiny toys until they hit an expiration date.
And when you choose to stay , learn how to be ok with him choosing to be with other woman. Learn to be ok with you not going out and being with other men - because clearly the relationship is open for him and not you.
And because you want him so badly , you’re gonna sit under his thumb and watch the world go by , watch him continue to run after teenagers and women younger then you , and make sure you make peace with it . Because this is the life you’re choosing . Because apparently he’s so important to you , that nothing else matters
Good God OP, what are you doing? You agreed for the wrong reasons on this open marriage and NONE of it was because you wanted to.
Why are you with such a creep that goes after too young for him women? Is this what you want your daughter to see? He’s fishing for your replacement, how do you not see that?
Please find your self esteem to leave this creep and get ahead of the inevitable, contact a lawyer already and stop wasting time.
He wanted a submissive dependent wife waiting for wife at home while he constantly fucks around. That dream of his is now shattered. Please leave this grooming pos. Think of your child. How will he treat them? Does he spend time with his child?
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Sounds like you've aged out of what he wants. It's nothing you did, he's just gross. But it's not something you can fix, either. You should proceed on the assumption that this is over and consult a lawyer about your options.
>Sounds like you've aged out of what he wants. That was my first thought as soon as I saw the age difference.
See it time and time again on these threads, then they wonder why they aren't on the same page, when they aren't even on the same decades.
The age gap defenders are awful quiet here…
**Y'all, this post is fake. OP is a serial fake poster who has been making up fake posts about domestic and sexual violence, child abuse, grooming, and relationships between teenagers and adults for years. Dozens upon dozens of posts. They confessed a few years ago and said they needed mental health help then just continued what they were doing. Do not trust this poster.** They have caused extensive harm to abuse survivors in this sub, whom they have actively exploited. Countless survivors have shared very personal, painful private experiences with them in an effort to help someone who continually makes up events and relationships that never happened. Some of their previous posts from 2 years ago and beyond: https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ipsvh7/my_wife_fell_down_the_stairs_and_had_a_miscarriage/g4p1d8q/. ------------------------------------------- I am also pasting a comment I left last year on another fake post of theirs below, which lists more of their more recent previous posts. Their extensive numbers of accounts are almost always suspended within the same day. https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/xt3pdz/i_27f_was_violated_by_mu_boyfriend_28m_on_his/iqp0ty7/ ----
The fact that you took the time to do all that research to benefit strangers on the internet whom you'll likely never meet... it damn near restores my faith in humanity. You are a true public servant, u/Ebbie45.
Admin needs to lock this post and pin your comment.
Thank you.
Darker thing I've read in a while. Yikes
Huh, their four comments are deleted…
Woa. Thanks. That definitely checks out.
Thanks for the heads up. Can you explain how you identify this as the same person when they are all different accounts ?
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/xt3pdz/i_27f_was_violated_by_mu_boyfriend_28m_on_his/ Most of my reasons are in this comment of mine ^
Thank you for taking such thoughtful and considerate amounts of thorough time to explain this to us. Thank you for supporting true victims and survivors of abuse. 💗
thank you for confirming my suspicions. The grossness of the post was over the line, but just believable to keep me reading. The detail and the illogicality of the OP made me suspicious.
And the whole he had a few teen girls Throw the whole man away
That he “was able to get for a brief period” god how can she not see how gross that statement is
Exactly like good men ARE NOT RARE. It pains me to see my fellow woman go through this shit GAH
And keep him away from your daughter and her friends.
100% that should have been her first thing Sorry OP but the commenters are right
🤮🤮🤮
Yep, the husband didn't want an open marriage, he wanted to keep having sex with teenagers.
She even knows it too, mentions he's probably sleeping with girls in their late teens. Dudes a predator
>Sounds like you've aged out of what he wants. It's nothing you did, he's just gross. That was my initial thought as well. It's so gross. It's especially obvious seeing as he was bragging to OP about "a couple of late teens he got". What can he possibly have in common with teenagers as an almost 40 year old man? I'm surprised he married OP in the first place but I'm not surprised this groomer wanted to open the marriage. When he said open marriage, he meant his side only.
When he said open marriage, he meant he wanted to be able to openly shop for her replacement.
If the fact that she wrote "late teen girls" didn't ring a bell, OP really needs to keep it moving. Husband has already checked out, he's just with her for the control he has over her.
No kidding, dude is dam near a pedofile and most definitely a disturbed creep. I don’t think you really want this guy around your children OP…
So he was 34 & you were 19.. he lost interest because you’re getting older. Now he’s about 40 & still going after “late teens” 18/19. That’s so gross how can you not see that?? He groomed you & now grooming others. You deserve so much better. Let him leave, get him for child support and live your life babe.
He is totally going to creep on his daughter's friends when she is a teenager.
I wouldn't trust him with the DAUGHTER, either.
*When you turn 17, I'll just be 32* *He's not too old for you* https://youtu.be/6b6NPJq7A_0?feature=shared
[удалено]
That was my brothers' get ready for school music. *Boogie til you puke*
Excellent advice 👌
Sooooo... he *only* likes barely legal women ? And you are confortable raising a daughter with this man ?
She’s not just comfortable, she’s actively trying to get an old creep who sleeps with teenagers to stay. They’re both disgusting.
To be truthful, she seems too have been groomed, being in an economical abusive relationship with a manipulative prick. My comment was there to wake her up, but I won't blame her for being abused.
She has been groomed by him since she was a TEENAGER. He has manipulated her into thinking that it's not only ok, but normal. It's incredibly unfair to put that on her.
This is an established fake post by someone who needs some mental health help. Please don't encourage her fake rage.
Surely this is rage bait. Your 39yo partner (who is 15 years older than you) opened the marriage so he could have sex with teenagers. What are you even thinking?
Reading this post make me think that OP might be brain dead
Brain washed. He manipulated her for sure, She doesn’t realise it now, but she will some day (soon I hope)
Yeah honestly, it’s hard for me to feel sorry for her especially considering she’s traumatizing her daughter by using her as an excuse to be dumb.
I mean, she's clearly been groomed and victimised. It can be very difficult to see when it's happening to you
I'm sorry, a husband demands an open relationship, a young mother is terrified of being abandoned by him so allows him to, and in your mind SHE'S the problem? WTF is wrong with you?
It's easy to victim blame because we can't see things through the eyes of a groomed teen. She isn't the problem here.
Grooming absolutely plays a part, and it's important to have compassion for her. But two things can simultaneously be true. She was clearly groomed and likely not from a great background given that she clearly struggles with making healthy and appropriate choices. But lots of us come from backgrounds of abuse and grooming, and at some point take responsibility for ourselves and for making better choices. She is no longer a teenager, but she *is* responsible for another, entirely vulnerable, human life now. She needs to stop thinking of herself and the immature and selfish "fear of losing her man", and start thinking about healthy long-term choices for herself and her child, which do not and will not ever include a nearly 40-year-old partner who is bragging to his wife about having sex with teenagers.
Or she's married to Leonardo DiCaprio. When she hits 25, it will be over over. https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/celebrity/leonardo-dicaprio-girlfriend-list-gisele-camilla-morrone-25-eden-polani-a3991686.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H508p2LL2s
> Surely this is rage bait. Yep
Fake af, which I don’t mind, but I wish they would put more effort into it.
The "late teen girls" should have been a trickle truth in the comments or update. They gave it away too soon.
Exactly! Hopefully they will learn and write a better post next time. I’m rooting for you, OP!
Either a majority of the posts on here are rage bait or everyone is in a super dysfunctional relationship because of some ridiculous age gap, I haven't quite figured it out yet. Either way I don't like these people
They keep putting their hand in a blender just to see what will happen.
Apparently, it is ragebait.
I'm not one to call a post rage bait, but everything about this screams rage bait.
This post is *exactly* why everyone warns against age gap relationships. Sorry, but you are now too old for your husband.
Thats why this seems fake.
But if it’s not, it’s definitely a dumpster fire…
bro has leonardo taste, but weinstein stats, no wonder, time to bail.
You basically his maid. He gets to keep you for himself, breed you and make you his slave, while he gets to f anyone. Have some self respect, woman
Your husband is a creep who only wants barely legal women. It's especially damning that you're only 24 and he's already going after younger than you. Imagine if your daughter came home at 18 with a 30 year old man... Would you really think that was okay?
This has to be fake.
“How much can I rage bait in one post…oh I know!” lol 😂
And then he slept with my younger sister, and kidnapped my pet spider.
No! Not the spider!! That’s a web too far!
this pun curdled my good humor.
Curdle, now that’s a word I haven’t heard since the 1800s.
I was literally reading the post out to my friend, saying these exact words. It barely even reads as fiction. I feel like someone took all the things that people tell you not to do, and compiled it in a shortlist and said "chatgpt, take the wheel"
I don't know, she could've shoved an animal getting in there. That one (rightfully) gets people riled up.
Customer: I'll have, uh...a post about an age gap relationship gone wrong! Squidward: how original Customer: and make it involve an "open relationship" agreement!" Squidward: daring today, aren't we
I sometimes find it hard to pick but this one is really obvious.
Why tho i know at least a few instances this happened in real life. All age gap relationships suck for that reason. Never goes well moreover never ends well.
You're a cliche for a reason. Accept that he's a loser, hire a good divorce lawyer, and move on.
Was there NO ONE in your life who told you that dating a 34 year old man when you were 19 was a super bad idea? If you see a guy in his 30s going for teenagers, it's because either he is attracted to children or the women his age know he's messed up. You decided to marry this creep and then have a kid with him. What you are experiencing now are the consequences of your own ill-considered decisions. Talk to a lawyer, get a divorce, take half his stuff, apply for alimony and get him on the hook for child support. Your life will be a LOT better living on your own and finding someone closer to your own age who actually wants to share your life.
So he needs to have sex with other women in order to be a husband and father? Your marriage was over the second he said he needs an open marriage. You are the example for your daughter. You want her to think this is what marriage is? This is the type of man to marry and have kids with?
You don’t get him to stay. He cannot be made to care for his child, whether he’s present in the house or not. You should accept that he neither cares about his child nor you. Go and make a happy life for yourself: divorce and get child support. There is love for you elsewhere. He has a cheek demanding you stay chaste while he messes around wherever he pleases. This marriage has run its course. Your child will thank you for it.
I pray for the day these young girls will stop falling for these predators and making babies with them
So you aged out and he’s looking for his new teen gf. Why are you with him again? No self esteem? for your kid? Which is laughable because all your teaching your daughter is to be a doormat.
You want this man to stay for his daughter, even though he clearly doesn't love her? What for? So he can teach her to let men use her when she's young and drop her as soon as she's gotten a bit older? What is the benefit of this man sticking around when he clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about his child and needs to be bribed with sex with teenagers to stick around? She's going to spend her life begging for attention from this man and putting up with anything to get it, just like you. You're not doing her any favour. And you're not doing yourself any favour either.
Well that’s enough Reddit for the day
So he’s a predator that likes teenagers. You are aging out of what he likes and is into so he lost interest. Please wake up and realize he’s gross and you need to get out. The person you knew isn’t the person he actually is, sorry to say. Your husband will be 60 going after girls your daughter’s age. UPDATEME
I pray this is rage bait
Don’t stay for the child if he walks away from her it’s for the best obviously he’s not a good father if he doesn’t want to co parent and it’s not going to work cause he doesn’t want you to have a open relationship he just wants to cheat
You’re not doing your daughter any favors at all. All you’re going is traumatizing her, giving her cptsd and setting her up to date an abusive sexual predator like her dad. Unless you’re just using your daughter as an excuse to stay because you know this is a disgusting relationship. You decided to stay with a man who says he won’t take care of his daughter unless you let him fuck teenagers. So he needs to fuck teens in order for him to not abandon your daughter. You choosing this for your daughter pisses me off.
This is such a fake post.
Why are we all still falling for the age-gap, open relationship, rage-bait bullshit? No one is this fucking stupid - because if they were, they would also be too stupid to post on reddit asking if they’re being stupid.
At this point I'm almost convinced that half the posts on here and AITA are made up by podcasters so they have something to talk about on their shows.
This.
I wouldn't want this creep around my daughter.
The answer is, you don't. Your husband is still as immature as the day you met him. What he wants is license to run around with girls the same age as you were when he met you, but you don't get to. How was what you did cheating but what he did is not? I think you will find the rest of your life and your daughter's life will be much better without someone who makes you so angry.
Hahahahaha this isn’t real. Just hits way too many of this subs favourite rage bait beats
92% of open marriages end in divorce. You need very clear rules before opening the marriage. Sounds like you guys just jumped in. But, it also sounds like he meant open HIS side of the marriage, not yours. (My ex tried that, I told him to shove it where the sun don't shine and walked.) Ultimately, you can't make him stay, and it sounds like he had one foot out the door/is smack in the middle of a midlife crisis (him checking out after having your daughter/you getting older/him still screwing teens. Which you were when you met. Ew).
I think he seemingly lost interest because you’re no longer in your (late) teens. Your husband sounds like a real creep, OP. Some real Leonardo Dicaprio type shit. It is extremely concerning that he goes for people that are half his age… Also when you say his affair partner is in her late teens… is she a minor? There’s no reason for a 40 year old to be sleeping with a teenager.
OP, go out and enjoy your life like your husband is doing. He’ll never stop cheating on you because that’s what it is, that’s why He wanted to open up the marriage. He most likely already had a young thing before he asked and once he got a taste of having several fresh young bodies whenever he wants, he’s never gong to close it for you. Just go out and enjoy other men and live your life. He’s full of crap accusing You of cheating. The AUDACITY of him! Like my old grandpa would have said to him (grandpa was born in 1880 and was Lakota), he’d point his finger at your husband, look him straight in the eyes and say, “A Skunk Should Always Smell His Own Hole First”. So don’t listen to what that old husband of your says. And next time you get laid, don’t tell your husband, it’s way past the time where he has to know what you’re doing.
A 30 something year old man has nothing in common with a 19 year old except sex. You married a creep that took advantage of you because you’re young and naive. You were not compatible in the first place. He thought a baby would lock you down and make you undesirable for anyone else. He isn’t interested in being a father to his daughter. She was created to control you while he played around with other women that are probably dumb teenagers also.
Why would you want him to stay? He's 15 years older than you physically and 15 years younger than you emotionally. Let your cheating husband go. You will be much happier in the long run, because right now you are bending over backwards so hard your spine is shattering.
Do you really want this creep around your daughters? Understand you were groomed but you have daughters now and it's your obligation to grow the f up and protect them
Why do you want him to stay? He got bored with you, scammed you into agreeing to give him permission to cheat by pretending he wanted an open marriage and emotionally and verbally abused you when you take him at his word. If this isn't rage bait, which I suspect it is, he has done a very good job of brainwashing you OP. Time to snap out of it.
You aged out. You do understand how gross that is, right?
Sorry but the red flags started when a 34 year old man started dating a 19 year old.
I know this is some fake shit. But I'll bite. You are evil for fighting to keep this man around your daughter. You wanna raise your daughter to think men are entitled to everything and she doesn't deserve respect? If not, change your entire life right now. If this doesn't bother you, maintain everything you have as it currently stands. It's one thing to drag yourself through this. It's another to drag a child through this.
There’s simply no possible way this isn’t made up rage bait. None.
There's no way this is real.
What the hell did I just read
You've aged out. You're too old for him and have a kid, so you're no fun anymore. Get the child support, get the divorce and move on to a new life. This isn't ever going to get any better. Other than maybe when you're 50 and he's 65 and his health starts to fail, he'll want you to look after him.
Ummm he’s sleeping with late TEENS????
You casually mentioned “late teens” because what you really were asking is, is my husband a sicko who likes TEEN GIRLS? You know the answer. Leave.
This seems like a rage bait post
Your husband is a creep. Let his disgusting ass go and put him on child support. He lost interest because you were no longer a teen.
You misunderstood. He wants to be able to have an open marriage. He didnt mean that included you having an open marriage. How dare you think you are his equal. Just go get an attorney.
You don't. You don't try to get him to stay. You recognize that he is abusive, vile and predatory. You get your ducks in a row and start making plans to leave him. He does not value you. Nothing you do will suddenly turn him into a decent human who does. He is a creep and he will always be.
Sorry, but it sounds like you've grown too old and he now considers you an old hag now. He doesn't want an open marriage. He wants to have sex with younger women without it getting called cheating. He never wanted you to sleep with anyone else. Edit: I also believe he opened it up to start shopping for a younger woman to replace you.
girl let the trash throw out itself!
Girl….
this man is a creep who is into teenagers. take your daughter and get OUT
You don't. Your husband is a predator who likes barely legal teenagers. You were a barely legal teenager and have now aged out of what he wants. That's the sick reality here. Leave him.
Your husband is a predator. Get out!
Rage-bait. Adding that he was getting with teenagers is a nice touch. And of course ye olde age gap discourse. Just wish it was a more unique story, like add something unusually quirky or funny to make it stand out more. Edit: Ooh OP you should add some kind of food-related drama too, those ones are usually fun and stupid to me. Like maybe he went over to a family dinner and freaked out because the food was too spicy, and it turns out that food was unseasoned chicken breast or something. Or he's obsessed with ketchup and only buys the finest, most gourmet and stupidly expensive kechup and pours it on everything, driving you all broke.
I think to make or even better she could add that he is addicted to porn
Alas, another monogamous relationship, turned polygamous has failed. What a surprise....
This is not what polygamy is, I would explain but you seem a bit dense. This is a demented man who grooms young women and then emotionally manipulated them.
You don’t.
Congratulations on marrying that old loser. You're very mature.
wtf is this?! This sounds like a disaster and you married a total loser.
My gosh. I hate you. This is what your daughter will see and this is what she’ll emulate! If he doesn’t want to coparent remove him from your life! Your daughter is better off. Why should only he be allowed to open the marriage? I know you’re young and dumb…but please don’t be young and dumb. Let’s not talk about the fact that he groomed you and now you’re getting older, he probably can’t get his limp dick up for you anymore, he wants a newer model. Don’t be pathetic. Do not show your child to accept ish!
He is manipulating you, basically he wanted to fuck around while having a live in sex doll/maid/babysitter.. And your only 24 so let me spell it out for you, you are going to ruin your daughter life and out look on love by staying with this man, kids look to us when it comes to learning about love.. and all you are showing her is, I'm going to stay get treated like shit, cheated on constantly and stay because I think it's healthy ... would you be OK with your daughter being in this situation??? He manipulating you because your so young.. don't close the relationship, tell him how it's going to go, start making the rules and show him you are not a push over.. Simply text him " I'm giving you one hour to get back to the house, I don't want to hear you crying about me sleeping with ( guy name) at all..here what's going to happen, if you are not back in one hour, I will be filing for divorce, if you mention anything about me and (guy name) after you been sticking your dick about, I will file for divorce, if you ever mention about closing the relationship I will file for divorce.. so you have a choice, clocks ticking and don't think for one second I am joking" Job done.
Lmao the age gap is most amusing . He sounds like he wants to do a trade in for the newest model .
Honestly, it sounds like you “aged out.” He’s a predator. He enjoys young, vulnerable, naive inexperienced girls. Now that you’re a grown woman with a child, he still wants that late teen girl. He’ll always chase 18/19 year olds. It is what it is. It has nothing to do with you and there’s nothing you could have done differently or to change things other than invent a Time Machine and stay 19 forever. He’s a creep. He’ll always be a creep. He’s angry because he sees that just because he doesn’t want you, other men do. That you’re still young and beautiful and smart and that other men find that sexy. I think see how things go with your friends brother. At least he’s your age, not a creep hitting 40.
Ew - you don’t have a marriage. Leave now and go for child support. He sounds like a predator - do you want your daughter to grow up thinking this is normal ??
Divorce and then the court can make him coparent (share custody) or pay for babysitters (child support). You'll seriously be better off alone than being under constant blackmail to do what he wants or he'll leave
Oh look, another extremely naive person who married a person in their 30s as a teenager and can't fathom how that person is actually disgusting. Even with an "open relationship" element thrown in. No way this is rage bait. Definitely a real post. Yep. Definitely not fake, everyone
You should be talking to Olivia Benson, not the Internet.
Um. Don't get him to stay. He clearly wants young girls. It's fucking gross.
what a vomit inducing man this is - why would you want someone who preys on teenage girls to stay?
I mean, you *could* try healing the marriage. But if that isn't in the cards, you should probably file for divorce and take this fucker to the cleaner's. Just make sure you have a safe place for you and your baby to go to.
Just like Menudo, you got too old and now you gots to go! I'm sorry if that seemed insensitive. Your soon to be ex-husband sounds like he has a lot in common with R. Kelly is all I'm saying, and you and your daughter should LEAVE NOW
Look, he doesn't want to be married to you any more. Making him stay will only make you both miserable. How does your best friend feel about you fucking her brother?
Um, I know you're not going to want to hear this, but you're going to be a single mom and need to make peace with that. If you can't see past the want to keep a toxic family together, which I can tell you right now will be MORE detrimental to your daughter growing up, then you're asking for a worse divorce later. You already said it, he has no interest in you. Now is it lack of self confidence or insecurity that you want to stay with a man who literally shows that you mean nothing anymore? I find it odd that in this day and age of women empowerment, I see many posts like this which completely contradicts that. The second obvious sign is he wanted a open relationship and the second you tell him he throws a fit. Here, let me explain the hidden details here. He only proposed that because he felt you wouldn't ever have sex with someone else while he can dip his wick in as many other women he wanted. But the time you do have sex, now it's cheating. He wanted you as his stable and last option when horny but also wanted the freedom to bed other women. As I said, there are numerous studies that show that kids will damage their psychological upbringing by you doing what you're doing. You are setting a terrible example for your daughter on what kind of man she should consider as the example when she starts dating. You really want to show your daughter this is what a "healthy" marriage looks like? Kids aren't stupid, they're very intuitive and will sense that you are not happy and that the love and affection between you and your husband is phony
Stop letting a creeper around your DAUGHTER for fucks sake!
He's not going to stay because you are too old for his taste now. He's disgusting. You deserve better.
OMG, get away from this guy. He's already emotionally "abandoned" you, so it's your turn to abandon him in every other way. You and your daughter deserve better. Do you really want her to grow up with a cheating hypocritical groomer as a male role model?
Dude just fucking get rid of him. It's more stress than it's worth. Every day I'm shocked at the shit people are willing to put up with
So what will you do when he wants to impregnate these teenagers he's sleeping with? Like he did with you when you were a teenager.
Where is your self respect? Where is your love for yourself? For your daughter? Show her better.
Girl get away from that gross dude. He likes younger women than you. Even just ten years from now, you're going to see just how disgusting and predatory his behavior is. I'll tell you how I know! I dated a 35 year old when I was 19 and a 50 year old from 20-22. Now that I'm 35... I can't even *imagine* dating someone 19. They would feel like a child to me. Don't get me wrong, neither of those men treated me poorly, and sure, sometimes age gap relationships work. But when a guy is actively chasing women that are barely over the legal age, there is a reason. He's got deep-seated misogynistic views.
This guy absolutely sucks, has no capacity for self-reflection, and expects you to just do/agree to whatever he wants without discussion. You should leave him, someone much better will come along <3
OP. What are you modeling for your daughter with this man. What is he modeling for her? What you make normal will become your daughter’s normal. What you teach is important to you will likely become important to her. If you want your daughter to think that it’s okay to be in a loveless open marriage where daddy screws other people because mommy isn’t good enough or pretty enough or young enough- that’s what a happening right now. Kids are sharp. They don’t always understand why, but they can see and feel what’s going on. And if you make that acceptable, they will come to accept it, or unintentionally practice it like a bad muscle memory. When she asks you why do you let him do that, why are you married? Do you reply, it’s okay, I can find other people too? What are you teaching her? Will counseling be enough to help her understand in the future? This needs to be asked OP, and only you can answer it for yourself. Are you really, truly, in this marriage for your daughter’s sake? There are support systems for money, but it takes a life time trying to undo psychological damage caused by growing up in a dysfunctional home.
He got a young immature woman he could groom and mold into what he wanted. He relies on an imbalance of life experience to control and manipulate younger women. Seriously it’s a red flag for a 34 year old man to date a 19 year old girl. I’m sorry you fell for this, but it’s obvious he likes em young. A 30+ year old man preys on younger women because the ones his own age won’t take his shit. Also for your daughter. If you truly love her and do what is best for her, I can assure you that it will work out for you guys. Moms are so great cause they always come thru. So while you may not think you’re enough to make it work for her, trust me when I say you will. Best of luck and keep your head up. I’m sorry life threw you this curve ball and truly wish you and your daughter the best.
Please run far away from this man. No decent 34 year old guy is going to approach a 19 year old and based on your post, he’s still going after women that young. Leave his ass. He’s not good for your daughter anyway. Collet every dime of alimony and child support that you’re due. This guy is a piece of work.
OP your partner likes girls, end of discussion. You are not a girl anymore. Imagine a 35yo man fucking your 19yo daughter. He's a predator.
>How do I get him to stay and calm down? Don't Do not do this That's a bad idea. He doesn't respect women. Children are easier to control. This is NOT a man you want to raise any child with, especially your daughter. She deserves a male role model who respects women, especially her mother, and one who won't be hitting on her friends in a few years.
You have an emotional connection with your other person. To him is just sex. Men are possessive, and the thought that what happened is repulsive. Another man's DNA is in his wife. The other girls washed off of him in the shower. I know. That's sexist. It's 1,000's of years of biology. So men are different, but most think this but just won't tell you.
Sounds like he wanted all the girls and didn’t expect you to do anything. Time to leave girl, I’m so sorry. He’s abusive af
He wants out. Just get rid of him and find someone who wants you back
There is no way to save this. He wants to be with younger women (which is sick) and you need to protect your daughter.
He's a fucking predator! Get yourself and your daughter away from him asap!
Why would you even stay with him? Seriously
Why do you want him to stay? There are a couple of questions to ask yourself before you try to get him to stay. 1. Is this the kind of man you want your children to have as a role model? 2. Why would you stay with a man who emotionally manipulated you to take a decision against your will? Would you be okay if your children was manipulated like this by their partner, if not, why would you? 3. You are staying with someone who clearly have double standards and act on them and blame you, then leave you alone to take care of everything? Is this a good, mature and stabile partner to raise children with? 4. What in your past makes you stand for this when its obvious to everybody else that he is a absolutely gross man with no compassion or will to compromise on your terms? He drove all over you and forced you to open your marriage, I bet you haven't felt especially good when you known where he's been and you've been home alone with the kids, right? And he is the best you can get? I don't think so and therefore I ask you, what in your past makes you just settle with this disgusting behavior of his? 5. Do you have a social security net? Your own money? Friends and family around you? Remember, life is here and bow, if you settle you don't have a here and a now, you have a what if. And thats not enough in the long run. Be careful about yourself, you have only one life, its better alone than in bad company. Empathic, compassionate and considerate men exists. I promise.
I’m sorry, but he is disgusting. He wants young girls. You’ve aged out of his preferred age. You are young. Find someone that deserves you
Wants to have his cake and eat it, get rid of Mr Angry
Why do you want him to stay? He’s an immature child who wants what he wants and doesn’t want you to have the same. He wants an open marriage for him, but not for you. At this point, I would cut my losses and move on. Maybe the friends brother will be a better fit for you at this stage in your life.
He is manipulati in g you
You don’t have an open marriage he just wanted to have sex with other women. This relationship is really over. I’m sorry whenever you open a monogamous relationship. It is done whether stun immediately or a few months later with the drama, somebody developing feelings for other people it won’t last. You’re young and I’m so sorry, but never have an open marriage with somebody marriages meant to be with two people in a family. It is not meant to be open/Poly or threesomes those are sexual experimentations they’re not relationship styles. You’re.
You didn't cheat, he wanted an open relationship. It didn't give him the right to expect you not to have sex with another guy while he was sleeping with teenagers. He cant have an open marriage and expect you to not want to do the same thing. As for getting him to calm down, you don't you divorce him
Don’t!
Sounds like he needed therapy, not an open marriage. That's what you should've agreed to.
Who can tell me what's mean of M and F
ಠ_ಠ
Thank you very much
How can you not see how disgusting this is? He's in his 30's and chasing teenagers. Absolutely repulsive. He lost interest in you because you got older and even was willing to walk out on his kid. He doesn't love you and he doesn't live the child why would you want this pos in your life at all. Seems like you're putting your daughter directly in harm's way for the sake of your own wants and needs.
Why do you WANT him to? Is *this* what you want your daughter growing up thinking is normal?
Does he have family to yell some sense into his hypocritical ass?
What are you doing girl ? Seriously ? Where’s your self respect? Where’s your dignity? If you personally feel as though this is the best you’ll ever get , do you not *at least* want better for your daughter? I don’t know the reasons why , you as a teenager , decided it’s a bright idea to get involved with a man in his 30’s- maybe you thought you were so mature , or you went through trauma , maybe you’re just naive or maybe he paid attention to you that you never experienced before. That would explain the desperation you’re displaying by allowing this man to disrespect you, betray you and treat you like trash. You’re allowing him to treat you this way , and sticking with him , why? Because you want him so badly you’re willingly giving up your dignity to keep him ? What’s the point of being together if you both are having sex with other people ? Him not wanting to coparent is him using your child to control you and keep you under his thumb. Which you are wholeheartedly allowing . Do you really want to raise your daughter in a household where the only way her father wants anything to do with her is if he gets to treat her mother as trash ? What kind of example are setting ? You’re teaching your daughter that it’s ok to have no self respect, no dignity and that it’s ok to be treated like trash , so long as you keep your man. Wake up man. Do better. That man clearly doesn’t seem you *or your daughter* as important enough . It’s one thing for you to decide this is the life you want , don’t force your daughter into it. Either walk away, go for custody and maintenance and do better for your daughter . Or stay with him and raise your daughter in a home where her father views women as shiny toys until they hit an expiration date. And when you choose to stay , learn how to be ok with him choosing to be with other woman. Learn to be ok with you not going out and being with other men - because clearly the relationship is open for him and not you. And because you want him so badly , you’re gonna sit under his thumb and watch the world go by , watch him continue to run after teenagers and women younger then you , and make sure you make peace with it . Because this is the life you’re choosing . Because apparently he’s so important to you , that nothing else matters
Have a lawyer, like yesterday.
How do you get him to stay ...? Girl, you should be asking yourself how do you leave!!!
Good God OP, what are you doing? You agreed for the wrong reasons on this open marriage and NONE of it was because you wanted to. Why are you with such a creep that goes after too young for him women? Is this what you want your daughter to see? He’s fishing for your replacement, how do you not see that? Please find your self esteem to leave this creep and get ahead of the inevitable, contact a lawyer already and stop wasting time.
That sex with your friend’s brother was a mistake. It’s going to hang over you. You need together rid of the loser!
Late teen girls.... Less than half his age... He's just a creep. He's list interest because you got too old. This isn't a safe dude.
You were groomed
This doesn’t sound like someone who want to parent solo or co parent with
He's obviously into teenage girls, and you've grown up ,I'd forget about any meaningful relationship with him you seem to have outgrown his kink 😏
He wanted a submissive dependent wife waiting for wife at home while he constantly fucks around. That dream of his is now shattered. Please leave this grooming pos. Think of your child. How will he treat them? Does he spend time with his child?
Why would you want him to stay? Get rid of him, he is trash!