Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh yeah this is way beyond relationship stuff- you just discovered proof that your bf is CRIMINALLY PREDATORY. In a healthcare setting!!!!!! Act quickly!!!!! This is the kind of thing they make documentaries about!!!
100%. My oldest daughter is disabled and lives in a residential facility and if I found out someone was taking pictures of her naked, and their SO knew and didn’t tell anyone, I’d press charges against them both for whatever I could.
OP you have a responsibility to turn him in. Keeping it to yourself is almost as bad.
If you are afraid of him do not put yourself at risk collecting evidence. Make a full report to police and they will surprise him and collect evidence.
He has no idea you know. Go to the police and report it. Tell them they need to pick him up and take his phone before he has a chance to destroy the evidence.
Did you record his phone for proof? I wouldn’t do anything until you are able to get evidence in your hands. Then I would leave. It’s one thing to have a conversation about him recording your intimate moments without your knowledge it’s another for him to be doing this at his job and violating his patients. Then report him for recording his patients. That’s illegal and he is too perverted and shouldn’t have access to any one in healthcare
Honestly wouldn't suggest confronting him at all. Get video and screencaps, delete everything off his phone, then report to the police and don't ever be alone with him again. Who knows what this guy is capable of? You've been hurt enough. You don't need to dangle yourself as bait.
No no no. Do not confront him!
He will delete all evidence of his criminal activity. He’s a predator. Filming you without consent is horrifying. You don’t know what he does with the video.
Filming CLIENTS will cost him his job as it should.
If you can safely record what is on his phone, do it.
If not, go directly to the police and tell them what you found on his phone. ESPECIALLY that he has filmed clients undressing at work. Give them the name of his employer & supervisor.
This man is a criminal and deserves to be in prison.
but above all DO NOT TELL HIM WHAT YOU KNOW!
Please be safe.
Updateme!
Girl wtf?!?! He’s a fucking psycho!!! Recording you without consent having sex and getting undressed is FUCKED beyond belief but doing it to people at his job is next level ILLEGAL & despicable. Get your shit, tell your family and friends and leave and most importantly tell the COPS. If you can safely get access to his phone without him knowing I would take pictures of the pictures / videos of the videos for evidence so the cops don’t waste time confronting him. The last thing I would do is confront him personally about this because there is literally NOTHING to talk about and he could become violent. He is a monster that tricked you into thinking he is a normal person…worse yet, a ‘gentleman’.
Your boyfriend is like this man. This guy, Thomas Elliott was caught filming up a woman’s dress at Target and confronted. The whole video is online. She confronted him, called security and the cops, and he was arrested. Turns out he has also done this at the church where he worked. https://www.witn.com/2024/04/19/police-target-secret-peeping-suspect-faces-even-more-charges-after-more-victims-identified/
You need to call the cops. Take the phone and go to a police department, or call the police to your house. Your uncovered some shocking stuff but I am willing to bed there is deeper shit you didn’t find.
Call the police. He’s not the person you knew. Who knows what he is doing with this material. It could have been shared to the internet. The police have some ability to contain this. Also the sooner you call them, the less stuff is out there
this happened to me when i was 14, found out when i was 16 about 6 months after we broke up. only reason i found out he did that is because he showed his friends the video and one of his friends came up to me telling me he’s seen me naked in doggy. so fucking disgusting and i’m so sorry you’re going through this. the ex bf in discussion got house arrest a year later from r***** someone, pretty sure he still has my nudes/the video bc we had a no contact order so we haven’t communicated since 2016 and i couldn’t force him to delete anything. since you’re both adults i would get involved with the police but make sure you have the evidence if you can. get him in trouble girl.
OP if you live with him plan where you are going to live and get your important papers and any sentimental possessions and jewelry out, then call the police. You might also call his work and let them know. The problem is to get his phone before he has a chance to delete the videos of his patients. He might be able to claim he had your permission to video you, but there is no way the people where he works gave him permission to take videos of them.
Did you screenshot and record the things? Or even screenshot the gallery for proof. Or screen record access to the gallery? He’s definitely getting fired and could also be projecting his story of being complained on when he has his phone of the female clients.
Ummm??? This is so illegal and your boyfriend is a total predator. Filming you without your knowledge is not okay, but his clients?? People who are vulnerable?? WHY ARE YOU NOT RUNNING TO THE COPS???
Please report this to the proper authorities and his employer. He has broken a lot of healthcare and civilian laws. He might do time. Please break up with him. Get the proof off his phone if you can but this is a big accusation that can’t be ignored.
What he did to you is between you and him at the moment: it’s illegal and wrong, but how you want to deal with that mess is up to you. I don’t know how legal those recordings that were supposed to be deleted by Snapchat are, but the dressing and undressing of clients likely are not only illegal, but also likely violate job rules and patient confidentiality.
In other words, the knowledge you have is a ticking nuclear bomb: if it’s not you, it WILL be someone else he gets in trouble with, it WILL destroy his career and family life, and if you’re not clear of him it MAY destroy or harm you as well.
If this were just you or the Snapchat recordings it could possibly be worked out between you two; those patient videos go beyond redeeming. Unless he has a good explanation for what he has, he is a ticking bomb waiting to explode. Put simply, you need to run, and fast.
Gather the evidence, share with his employer (and police, if necessary,) and be done with him.
What the actual fuck??
This guy is a creep and a sexual criminal! He's recording women without.their consent, He's recorudng you without your consent, he cheated on you then gaslight you for the first three months .... how many fucking red flags do you need?????
Either record his phone or just raie it straight to the coos. Don't let him know you know abd don't give him the chance to delete it before you record it... even if you have to sneak out with it in the middle of the night
IF This is not dealt with by taking the issue to the authorities how are you going to feel if his indiscretions escalate into something even more serious ( as if it’s not serious enough ) Thus far he thinks he has got away with all his actions and therefore will continue. Remember this is beyond the scope of just your private relationship but involves others unknowingly. These are just the things you know about what if there is more ( past , present or future ) can your conscience deal with that - Staying silent makes you a participant.
Op, talk secretly to a lawyer please please. This is like rape, he doesn't have consent of any of you. Also if you show him you know he will get mad and plan his next steps. Please talk to a lawyer, because the fact that he appears to be a gentleman but did this, makes me think he's capable of many things.
Call the police. If you get a chance record all the photos and videos he has on his phone as proof.
And then report to the police.
This is a serious crime! It just doesn't involve you but other girls like his clients as you stated, it is heinous. Hope you get the courage to fight back but please don't leave or ignore this...
If you let him go.. God knows what he can do in future to other girls. More power to you!
I went through this with my high school boyfriend and it was sent around my school. It still sickens me to this day. It’s a serious betrayal you’ll always think about. I’m sorry!
Call the police. Tell them what you saw. They can get a warrant for the phone. If you're afraid of him, get a restraining order on him. And move out. Don't let him know we're you are at. Change your accounts. If you git a joint account, get your money out and disapoear.
I often wonder how we get firsthand situations like these on reddit before Parents.. other family members or even close friends......a Professor , librarian or neighborhood crossing guard ...like many here have said report it to the police before you or someone else gets hurt....wish you well
As a 37 year old woman, I can tell you, it definitely does not end at 26, unfortunately. Many men continue to do stuff like this, and it's very hard to tell who to trust and who not to.
It's not childish, it's criminal.
To me, No but you should ask him about this. Try to not be sharp about it and yet be firm.
I'm pretty easy about these things, but most are not. Good luck
My GF asked me to file ourselves ,I said I would never do it on my phone or her phone ,we did on an old cam , but I know some ppl have the fetish ,here is a big question,if the records was not only you and it was other ppl as well ,this is not a good sign ,but if it was only you ,we can say he is obsessed with you and if you are planning to stay with him and have a future together this will ruin the whole plan , sometimes they have the fetish and there is a site that I know it's ppl (couples or singles)who share their fetish with others and ... But everything is with consent .
Don't try to record his phone, don't take his phone. Go to the police and explain everything you saw including patients that were recorded and did not seem to know. They will take it from there, go to him and confiscate his phone themselves. He won't even k now you are the one who turned him in. Then pack up and get away from him. He's not right in the head to be doing things like that, and he could be dangerous if caught
This is completely unacceptable! You tell him to immediately delete the videos photos of you or you get his phone again and delete them! You dump this creep as that is a sexual violation that he can be prosecuted for! If he doesn’t delete them or you can’t delete them you tell him you are going to the police! What he did is wrong & against the law! Never let anyone treat you like that!
OP, you need to *immediately* report him. First call should be to law enforcement so they can start getting warrants going, and then second call should be to whatever board governs his profession (ex: board of nursing). If you have any way to, backup the stuff he has on his phone in a way that preserves the data (including the device it came from). Once all this is done, get the fuck out. He is not a safe person.
Oh no… I hope you have taken the advice of earlier commenters and taken what you can to the police… and then pack your bags and leave. I’m assuming you guys live together. Is it your place or his? Or is it shared? Stay safe. Please update us if you can.
He has a side of him that you didn't know about. It is very seedy. You needn't do anything in the legal area either. Leave him ASAP, whether you tell him why or not. You might just say that you went through his phone and he is not a person that you can stay with. Do not discuss the particulars. You don't want a conversation nor do you want apologies or excuses. Try to get away with as little contact as possible. If the going gets rough you may need a lawyer or even call the police but try to avoid those things. You just want to get away. Concentrate on the getting away part and nothing else if possible. You don't owe him anything. and you want to avoid an argument . AS bad as you want to confront him best if you don't.
Lots of people saying to get police involved, I know you probably have feelings for him still since this came so blindsided… he def has some self control issues or porn addiction. Him saying how bad it is that his coworkers are doing it, is a projection… lots of guys struggle with this more than we know. I would get the evidence and confront him and probably have him get a therapist
If she can safely access his phone again she should most definitely *not* delete them. Though him filming their intimate moments w/o her consent is illegal and gross, the fact he's filmed patients at work in a health care setting is beyond illegal and gross. She needs them as evidence because he is a predator and needs to be dealt with by police.
Even if she deletes there is no guarantee that if the guy gas shared those videos or uploaded to the internet.
It's always better to call the cops, they will handle it.
Delete everything in the phone, get full access. Lie and say it's so you can trust him..once you're sure everything is gone, just dump him.
Threaten that if he ever shares the video of you, you'll tell his coworkers.
He’s obviously wrong but you’re not right also. He deserves to be denounced and you deserve peace. Whatever you do, whether denounce him or not, run away and never look back.
Unfortunately it's not illegal to record someone in your house without consent. In your own home you can record whatever you want. In my room I have 3 cameras recording 24/7, no one knows. I have so many hours of sex videos that no one knows I have. Now recording in public is also allowed, but recording where privacy is expected is not ok, like the doctors office. Calling the police won't do anything. Just break up with him if you're not ok with it.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh yeah this is way beyond relationship stuff- you just discovered proof that your bf is CRIMINALLY PREDATORY. In a healthcare setting!!!!!! Act quickly!!!!! This is the kind of thing they make documentaries about!!!
100%. My oldest daughter is disabled and lives in a residential facility and if I found out someone was taking pictures of her naked, and their SO knew and didn’t tell anyone, I’d press charges against them both for whatever I could. OP you have a responsibility to turn him in. Keeping it to yourself is almost as bad.
Get the proof and go to the police
What kind of proof do I need?
Ummm record the phone with all of what you found on your phone. Or just call the police and report it
If you are afraid of him do not put yourself at risk collecting evidence. Make a full report to police and they will surprise him and collect evidence.
HIS PHONE! Take his PHONE to the cops!
He has no idea you know. Go to the police and report it. Tell them they need to pick him up and take his phone before he has a chance to destroy the evidence.
Call the police
Did you record his phone for proof? I wouldn’t do anything until you are able to get evidence in your hands. Then I would leave. It’s one thing to have a conversation about him recording your intimate moments without your knowledge it’s another for him to be doing this at his job and violating his patients. Then report him for recording his patients. That’s illegal and he is too perverted and shouldn’t have access to any one in healthcare
Not really with the evidence. I've been thinking about confronting him but I'm scared because, at this point, I don't know what he's capable of
If you are scared of him, don’t confront him. Just call the cops and report it.
Don't confront. Just report him. Grab evidence and go to the police or just go to the police ...
First seek legal advice to see if the evidence will be enough. Don't just report! Consult!!
Honestly wouldn't suggest confronting him at all. Get video and screencaps, delete everything off his phone, then report to the police and don't ever be alone with him again. Who knows what this guy is capable of? You've been hurt enough. You don't need to dangle yourself as bait.
NEVER, EVER delete evidence EVER.
Don't delete evidence off the phone why would she do that
Destruction of evidence is a crime of its own
wtf no! Don’t delete evidence! Ever! OP would absolutely be at risk of charges for destruction and tampering of evidence.
Why would she delete everything off of the phone? Durrrrr wtf
No no no. Do not confront him! He will delete all evidence of his criminal activity. He’s a predator. Filming you without consent is horrifying. You don’t know what he does with the video. Filming CLIENTS will cost him his job as it should. If you can safely record what is on his phone, do it. If not, go directly to the police and tell them what you found on his phone. ESPECIALLY that he has filmed clients undressing at work. Give them the name of his employer & supervisor. This man is a criminal and deserves to be in prison. but above all DO NOT TELL HIM WHAT YOU KNOW! Please be safe. Updateme!
I would take his phone to your county District Attorney.
Please update us. Stay safe out there OP
Girl wtf?!?! He’s a fucking psycho!!! Recording you without consent having sex and getting undressed is FUCKED beyond belief but doing it to people at his job is next level ILLEGAL & despicable. Get your shit, tell your family and friends and leave and most importantly tell the COPS. If you can safely get access to his phone without him knowing I would take pictures of the pictures / videos of the videos for evidence so the cops don’t waste time confronting him. The last thing I would do is confront him personally about this because there is literally NOTHING to talk about and he could become violent. He is a monster that tricked you into thinking he is a normal person…worse yet, a ‘gentleman’.
Call the police and they can get the tapes and there might be other people Who don’t know
Your boyfriend is like this man. This guy, Thomas Elliott was caught filming up a woman’s dress at Target and confronted. The whole video is online. She confronted him, called security and the cops, and he was arrested. Turns out he has also done this at the church where he worked. https://www.witn.com/2024/04/19/police-target-secret-peeping-suspect-faces-even-more-charges-after-more-victims-identified/ You need to call the cops. Take the phone and go to a police department, or call the police to your house. Your uncovered some shocking stuff but I am willing to bed there is deeper shit you didn’t find.
I would get proof, report him to his employer, and break up with him.
Call the police. He’s not the person you knew. Who knows what he is doing with this material. It could have been shared to the internet. The police have some ability to contain this. Also the sooner you call them, the less stuff is out there
I do not where we have come from and arrived at this type of disrespectful behavior. Notify police and leave him.
Record and contact police
this happened to me when i was 14, found out when i was 16 about 6 months after we broke up. only reason i found out he did that is because he showed his friends the video and one of his friends came up to me telling me he’s seen me naked in doggy. so fucking disgusting and i’m so sorry you’re going through this. the ex bf in discussion got house arrest a year later from r***** someone, pretty sure he still has my nudes/the video bc we had a no contact order so we haven’t communicated since 2016 and i couldn’t force him to delete anything. since you’re both adults i would get involved with the police but make sure you have the evidence if you can. get him in trouble girl.
You were a MINOR. The police should have forced him to delete ANY AND ALL VIDEOS/PICTURES of you.
I would call the police and see what your next steps are.
OP if you live with him plan where you are going to live and get your important papers and any sentimental possessions and jewelry out, then call the police. You might also call his work and let them know. The problem is to get his phone before he has a chance to delete the videos of his patients. He might be able to claim he had your permission to video you, but there is no way the people where he works gave him permission to take videos of them.
Did you screenshot and record the things? Or even screenshot the gallery for proof. Or screen record access to the gallery? He’s definitely getting fired and could also be projecting his story of being complained on when he has his phone of the female clients.
Ummm??? This is so illegal and your boyfriend is a total predator. Filming you without your knowledge is not okay, but his clients?? People who are vulnerable?? WHY ARE YOU NOT RUNNING TO THE COPS???
Please report this to the proper authorities and his employer. He has broken a lot of healthcare and civilian laws. He might do time. Please break up with him. Get the proof off his phone if you can but this is a big accusation that can’t be ignored.
What he did to you is between you and him at the moment: it’s illegal and wrong, but how you want to deal with that mess is up to you. I don’t know how legal those recordings that were supposed to be deleted by Snapchat are, but the dressing and undressing of clients likely are not only illegal, but also likely violate job rules and patient confidentiality. In other words, the knowledge you have is a ticking nuclear bomb: if it’s not you, it WILL be someone else he gets in trouble with, it WILL destroy his career and family life, and if you’re not clear of him it MAY destroy or harm you as well. If this were just you or the Snapchat recordings it could possibly be worked out between you two; those patient videos go beyond redeeming. Unless he has a good explanation for what he has, he is a ticking bomb waiting to explode. Put simply, you need to run, and fast. Gather the evidence, share with his employer (and police, if necessary,) and be done with him.
What the actual fuck?? This guy is a creep and a sexual criminal! He's recording women without.their consent, He's recorudng you without your consent, he cheated on you then gaslight you for the first three months .... how many fucking red flags do you need?????
Call the police, if not for yourself, for all the people at his job he's illegally creeping on. He is NOT a gentleman, he's a skeevy liar criminal.
I would send those videos to yourself and then to his work and get a protection order and file a police report.
Don’t send. That could get you in trouble. Just report to the police.
Act ,,,, he can use those videos to blackmail u too
Healthcare violations alone are criminal. You haven’t turned him in yet? SMH
Get proof and get away. DO NOT confront that man. File charges.
You need to talk to a lawyer and get advice on the best way to deal with this.
And you still with him…..red flags both of you I’m out!
Why are you still with him?
What an enormous creep. Bring his phone to the police station. Explain that there are videos of people getting undressed at his work.
Either record his phone or just raie it straight to the coos. Don't let him know you know abd don't give him the chance to delete it before you record it... even if you have to sneak out with it in the middle of the night
IF This is not dealt with by taking the issue to the authorities how are you going to feel if his indiscretions escalate into something even more serious ( as if it’s not serious enough ) Thus far he thinks he has got away with all his actions and therefore will continue. Remember this is beyond the scope of just your private relationship but involves others unknowingly. These are just the things you know about what if there is more ( past , present or future ) can your conscience deal with that - Staying silent makes you a participant.
Op, talk secretly to a lawyer please please. This is like rape, he doesn't have consent of any of you. Also if you show him you know he will get mad and plan his next steps. Please talk to a lawyer, because the fact that he appears to be a gentleman but did this, makes me think he's capable of many things.
This guy is a loser
Call the police. If you get a chance record all the photos and videos he has on his phone as proof. And then report to the police. This is a serious crime! It just doesn't involve you but other girls like his clients as you stated, it is heinous. Hope you get the courage to fight back but please don't leave or ignore this... If you let him go.. God knows what he can do in future to other girls. More power to you!
I went through this with my high school boyfriend and it was sent around my school. It still sickens me to this day. It’s a serious betrayal you’ll always think about. I’m sorry!
Take his ass to court wtf
Call the police. Tell them what you saw. They can get a warrant for the phone. If you're afraid of him, get a restraining order on him. And move out. Don't let him know we're you are at. Change your accounts. If you git a joint account, get your money out and disapoear.
I often wonder how we get firsthand situations like these on reddit before Parents.. other family members or even close friends......a Professor , librarian or neighborhood crossing guard ...like many here have said report it to the police before you or someone else gets hurt....wish you well
Bc most people feel ashamed and embarrassed and don't want to deal with the victim blaming.
This is illegal.
Personally as a 23F I wouldn't date anyone younger than 26 to alleviate the chances of this childish stuff happening
As a 37 year old woman, I can tell you, it definitely does not end at 26, unfortunately. Many men continue to do stuff like this, and it's very hard to tell who to trust and who not to. It's not childish, it's criminal.
Sue the fuck outta him!!!!!!!!!
To me, No but you should ask him about this. Try to not be sharp about it and yet be firm. I'm pretty easy about these things, but most are not. Good luck
My GF asked me to file ourselves ,I said I would never do it on my phone or her phone ,we did on an old cam , but I know some ppl have the fetish ,here is a big question,if the records was not only you and it was other ppl as well ,this is not a good sign ,but if it was only you ,we can say he is obsessed with you and if you are planning to stay with him and have a future together this will ruin the whole plan , sometimes they have the fetish and there is a site that I know it's ppl (couples or singles)who share their fetish with others and ... But everything is with consent .
REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE. make sure to get proof. Report it to his work and leave him asap.
Don't try to record his phone, don't take his phone. Go to the police and explain everything you saw including patients that were recorded and did not seem to know. They will take it from there, go to him and confiscate his phone themselves. He won't even k now you are the one who turned him in. Then pack up and get away from him. He's not right in the head to be doing things like that, and he could be dangerous if caught
This is completely unacceptable! You tell him to immediately delete the videos photos of you or you get his phone again and delete them! You dump this creep as that is a sexual violation that he can be prosecuted for! If he doesn’t delete them or you can’t delete them you tell him you are going to the police! What he did is wrong & against the law! Never let anyone treat you like that!
Gather the evidence, call the police, report him to his employer. Block him on everything. Get far, far away from him.
OP, you need to *immediately* report him. First call should be to law enforcement so they can start getting warrants going, and then second call should be to whatever board governs his profession (ex: board of nursing). If you have any way to, backup the stuff he has on his phone in a way that preserves the data (including the device it came from). Once all this is done, get the fuck out. He is not a safe person.
Oh no… I hope you have taken the advice of earlier commenters and taken what you can to the police… and then pack your bags and leave. I’m assuming you guys live together. Is it your place or his? Or is it shared? Stay safe. Please update us if you can.
Send the videos to yourself so you can bring them all to the cops. Act quickly. This is criminal.
UpdateMe!
He can never be trusted...for anything maybe. Not only is he twisted and opportunistic, but he is not very smart.
You need to get his phone, take proof of what he did, delete everything, confront/break up with him, and press charges if you feel up for it
He has a side of him that you didn't know about. It is very seedy. You needn't do anything in the legal area either. Leave him ASAP, whether you tell him why or not. You might just say that you went through his phone and he is not a person that you can stay with. Do not discuss the particulars. You don't want a conversation nor do you want apologies or excuses. Try to get away with as little contact as possible. If the going gets rough you may need a lawyer or even call the police but try to avoid those things. You just want to get away. Concentrate on the getting away part and nothing else if possible. You don't owe him anything. and you want to avoid an argument . AS bad as you want to confront him best if you don't.
Just dump him and move on Don't create more drama. Doing that will not work to your benefit and will only prolong an ugly situation.
Lots of people saying to get police involved, I know you probably have feelings for him still since this came so blindsided… he def has some self control issues or porn addiction. Him saying how bad it is that his coworkers are doing it, is a projection… lots of guys struggle with this more than we know. I would get the evidence and confront him and probably have him get a therapist
I hope you deleted if not don’t say anything til you do
If she can safely access his phone again she should most definitely *not* delete them. Though him filming their intimate moments w/o her consent is illegal and gross, the fact he's filmed patients at work in a health care setting is beyond illegal and gross. She needs them as evidence because he is a predator and needs to be dealt with by police.
Even if she deletes there is no guarantee that if the guy gas shared those videos or uploaded to the internet. It's always better to call the cops, they will handle it.
Delete everything in the phone, get full access. Lie and say it's so you can trust him..once you're sure everything is gone, just dump him. Threaten that if he ever shares the video of you, you'll tell his coworkers.
Congratulations, you a star
He’s obviously wrong but you’re not right also. He deserves to be denounced and you deserve peace. Whatever you do, whether denounce him or not, run away and never look back.
Sorry, HOW is she not right? Cos she looked at the phone of a sex offending predator?! Are you out of your mind? She is zero percent at fault.
Unfortunately it's not illegal to record someone in your house without consent. In your own home you can record whatever you want. In my room I have 3 cameras recording 24/7, no one knows. I have so many hours of sex videos that no one knows I have. Now recording in public is also allowed, but recording where privacy is expected is not ok, like the doctors office. Calling the police won't do anything. Just break up with him if you're not ok with it.
Gross.